Ep. 326 - Why So Many Divorced Women Don’t Trust Their Own Intuition

Many divorced women quietly carry the same fear:

“What if I can’t trust my own judgment?”

After a relationship ends, it’s common to question everything — your choices, your instincts, even your ability to recognize what’s healthy and what isn’t.

But for many women, that loss of self-trust didn’t start in the marriage.

It started much earlier.

In this premium coaching episode, Tiffini works with one of our members to explore a pattern many women recognize but struggle to name: the tendency to override intuition and rely on discipline, logic, and control instead.

When you grow up in environments where your inner knowing was ignored, dismissed, or contradicted, you often learn to survive by becoming hyper-responsible, hyper-disciplined, and hyper-analytical.

Those strategies can help you function.

But they can also slowly disconnect you from the quiet voice inside that knows what’s true.

In this powerful IFS-informed coaching session, you’ll hear one woman begin to uncover how her childhood experiences shaped her relationship with intuition — and how those patterns later showed up in adulthood, relationships, and divorce recovery.

Together, they explore how protective parts like perfectionism, over-discipline, and self-analysis develop as survival strategies… and what begins to shift when intuition is invited back into the decision-making process.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly searching outside yourself for answers — books, advice, podcasts, or systems — this conversation may resonate deeply.

Because rebuilding your life after divorce isn’t just about making better decisions.

It’s about learning how to trust yourself again.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why many divorced women struggle to trust their intuition
• How childhood environments can disconnect women from their inner guidance
• The survival strategies that develop when intuition isn’t safe to trust
• How discipline and over-analysis can become protective parts
• Why rebuilding self-trust is a central part of divorce recovery

This coaching session is available exclusively to our premium members.

If you’ve ever wondered why trusting yourself feels so hard — or why you find yourself constantly searching outside yourself for answers — the deeper conversations inside the premium feed are where we explore these patterns in real time.

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A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.

Transcript

Why Self Trust Breaks In Divorce

SPEAKER_01 0:00

One of the most confusing wounds women carry into divorce is the feeling that they can't trust themselves. So you compensate, you analyze everything, you read every book, you build the perfect routine, and then try to become disciplined enough to finally feel safe and secure. But sometimes the reason you don't trust your intuition is actually because you spent your childhood being told your intuition was wrong. And when that happens long enough, something inside you learns to go quiet. In today's premium episode, you're gonna hear a coaching session between Coach Tiffany and one of our premium listeners about what it looks like when that voice finally starts coming back online. Hi, love. Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence. I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorcee. Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.

Naming The Stoic Manager Part

SPEAKER_02 1:18

So welcome in today. How are you? It's good to be here. I'm excited and a bit nervous, of course. Awesome. Awesome. Very, very understandable. All right. So let's talk about the part that you want to focus on today. So this is going to be a manager part that is kind of rare. And it was funny because when you sent this over to me originally and you were like, this is the part that I want to work on. I looked at that and I was like, whoa, that's been me most of my life. And I think that when I'm running through IFS with clients, this is the one that they don't normally choose. But I feel like this is so true for so many people. So this manager is known as the stoic. And so this is the part of you that feels like they have to hold it all together and not feel too much and just keep moving. So tell me about how you feel like this part shows up for you in your daily life now.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Well, I am kind of perpetually in survival mode. Especially I have like a lot of financial scarcity stuff going on. I have issues with my kids. And where I run is a discipline, not with like the kids, but with within myself. I feel like if I can just be better, if I can just get all these routines perfect, if I can have the perfect morning routine and self-discipline that everything's gonna be easier, everything will be better, everything. And I think I use that manager to you know to manage that, of course.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Yeah. So definitely it's a manager that helps protect you against overwhelm, shame, and also vulnerability. So I would ask you in your life now, how vulnerable do you feel like you can be with people that are in your circle?

SPEAKER_01 3:09

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