Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce
This isn’t a breakup pep talk. It’s a full-body recalibration for women navigating life after divorce. Dear Divorce Diary is a podcast for women dealing with grief, loneliness, anxiety, anxious or avoidant attachment, and identity loss after divorce — especially when quick fixes, positivity, and spiritual fluff no longer work.
I’m Dawn Wiggins, therapist, coach, and homeopath, and this show goes where most divorce advice won’t: into your nervous system, your unspoken grief, your buried rage, and the parts of you that shut down just to survive.
Through honest conversation, somatic tools, EMDR- and IFS-informed work, and nervous-system support, each episode helps you feel instead of perform healing — and rebuild safety, confidence, and self-trust from the inside out.
You’ll hear raw solo episodes, real voice notes from women in the trenches, and intimate conversations with experts who don’t just talk about healing — they embody it.
If you’re tired of being told to “move on” while your body is still bracing, this podcast is your place to land. Your nervous system already knows the truth — it just needs a space that can hold it.
Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce
Ep. 338 - Why You Keep Choosing People Who Don’t Choose You | Divorce Patterns & Self-Worth
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You don’t just “end up” in relationships where you’re not chosen.
You were trained for them.
In this VIP episode of Dear Divorce Diary, we unpack the deeply rooted pattern of waiting to be chosen—and why it doesn’t start in your marriage… it starts much earlier.
We’re talking about:
- The childhood dynamics that quietly taught you to accept crumbs
- How never being prioritized shapes who you choose (and tolerate)
- Why “being chosen” feels safer than choosing for yourself
- The nervous system fear that keeps you stuck in the same relationship patterns
- How to start rebuilding your capacity to discern what you actually want
This conversation goes beyond surface-level dating advice.
Because this isn’t about finding a better partner.
It’s about:
learning how to choose yourself… even when it feels unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or scary.
If you’ve ever:
- stayed too long
- excused behavior you knew wasn’t right
- or felt like you had to earn love
This episode will hit close to home.
And more importantly—
it will show you where the pattern actually begins… and how to start changing it.
Meet Your Host Don
A TikTok About Feeling Chosen
Tracing The Pattern To Childhood
How To Hear The Full Show
SPEAKER_00Hi, love. Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence. I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorcee. Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce. Darlings, one of our ladies sent us, it wasn't Instagram, what was it? TikTok? So much cool stuff on TikTok. Anyway, she sent us a TikTok this week about the need to feel chosen and feeling like feeling like you have to wait for someone to choose you, right? Feeling so insecure and anxious that you don't have the power or capacity to choose who you want to be in your life or not in your life. It's like you're constantly vying for someone to choose you. She connected the dots that this need to feel chosen goes all the way back to her earliest days. And she was able to start sort of mapping out uh what she observed in her family very early in life that laid the groundwork for feeling like she wasn't ever chosen or cherished or prioritized or the top of anybody's list. But the ability to connect the dots to predate marriage and divorce is such a big deal because that's when we know that we're really dropping into those deeper layers and starting to shift the brain map so that it becomes impossible for you to attract the same type of relationship or same type of man. You can access the full episode by becoming a premium subscriber, which is just five dollars a month. Scroll down to the show notes and click the link where you'll get your very own individualized RSS feed for your podcast app. You can find more at mycoachdawn.com.
