The Mind Body Project
The Mind Body Project
Sit & Talk: Shifted Moments
We explore how to move from overwhelm to traction by shrinking change down to moments and stacking tiny wins. We share stories from our community, a hard season that sparked the “shifted moments” idea, and a simple four-step method to build momentum again.
• recognizing the need for an overall shift
• being intentional with thoughts to redirect emotion
• creating micro wins that restore agency
• stacking small wins to build momentum over time
• rebounding faster after setbacks with practiced reps
• unseen ripples from small acts that help others
• protecting your wins from outside judgment
• doing the heavy lifting outside the gym with simple tools
Welcome to Sit and Talk. Thank you so much for taking a little time to join us today. If this is your first time to sit and talk, we just have a conversation. This is where a couple friends sitting across the table from each other having a cup of coffee or Coke and just visiting about a great topic. And we're gonna today we're gonna be joined in on our virtual call for sit and talk. And so we're gonna have me talking to some of those on our virtual call as you get to listen in and I get to answer those and as as we discuss today's topic. So thank you for joining us on sit and talk today and hope you enjoy. And we'll get started and join the live call. Get started. But before we get started, since you're here early, I'll give you the, you know, if if you haven't been thinking about it, and we talked about last week about if you wanted to share something, you know, we talk about how coming to a workout class to treadmill, whatever, has physical benefits. And you share that, whether it's you feel better, look better, whatever it is. So my challenge last week was that you share something that sit and talk, walk and talk, book club, really any of our conversations have helped or improved your life or changed your life or something you've put into action that has helped. So uh you can share that. Be great if you did, if you didn't. If we're all quiet without a doubt, it'll be awkward silence, and Christy will have to say something because she she don't make me say something. She won't be able to handle the awkward silence.
SPEAKER_03:I'm gonna say there won't be any awkward silence silence because you can either hear the music at Kimber or you can hear me battling paper right now. So there's no silence.
SPEAKER_01:We'll be able to hear something.
SPEAKER_03:You'll hear something, yes.
SPEAKER_01:All right, so does anybody want to share a benefit, something positive, something they put into practice that has helped changed whatever it may be?
SPEAKER_03:Are you ready?
SPEAKER_01:I'm ready. I'm I'm just waiting.
SPEAKER_03:Well, so you were constantly in my mind about leaving things better than you found them. So anytime it doesn't matter where I am, even if I'm in the Walmart restroom and there's paper on the floor, I'm cleaning it up like I'm a worker.
SPEAKER_00:Because if you feel it, if you leave it and you thought about it, then you feel guilty, right?
SPEAKER_03:Aaron, I can't work for Blue Belt and Walmart both. I have to pick.
SPEAKER_00:You're gonna have to pick one.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. I'm always cleaning up the street out in front of the store. I'll go all the way down the end of the block to pick up trash.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I thought I left my perfect attendance at work today. I'm like, holy, I'm gonna have to go back to the gym again.
SPEAKER_01:But but I don't think you did.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't think thank goodness. I was like, seriously, you can get it tomorrow. But I was like, no, I can't.
SPEAKER_01:And see, and and that's one of those things that not only changes your life, but also changes others around because and they don't even know it. And that's the thing, that's really the neat thing sometimes. It changes other people's life and they never know it. I mean, it makes their life different because you cleaned up a mess that would have been there when they approached or when they did something. So, you know, unknowingly, we make those ripples and we don't always know it. And and those people that come after us don't know it. So that's that's a good one. Anyone else have one they might want to share?
SPEAKER_02:I started this journey with you. I don't know, when did you first start doing these things? How many years ago was that?
SPEAKER_01:Um it it is it it's been probably seven or eight years, and and I've named them everything. It was on everything.
SPEAKER_02:And I start I remember calling you before you started your first one and asked you, I'm not really gonna get anything out of this or if I wasted time. But I have to say, it really kicked off a firestorm of self-reflection and mental self-improvement, not just physical, but mental self-improvement. I mean, I I mean you don't know what you don't know when you don't know it until somebody points it out to you, and that's what you did to me, is you pointed out all my I don't know, just laxadaisical attitude about things, I guess is what it was. I don't know. I I don't know what it is, but now it's just it's just created a firestorm and it just keeps growing and getting bigger and completely unsatisfied.
SPEAKER_01:And and then and that and that's the real key to growth is is when we become might call it blissful dissatisfaction, dissatisfied. Because oftentimes we think of dissatisfied as not happy. But blissful dissatisfication means I'm happy, but what more can I find out?
SPEAKER_02:What else is out there that I don't know or that I'm unaware of even the existence of? Yes, you know, I mean it just it just it really will can become an obsession and blow your mind.
SPEAKER_01:And then you then you can learn all sorts of things and go in all different directions, yeah, and you annoy everybody around you. That's very true.
SPEAKER_02:Like your spouse, especially the spouse, guilty, and Kim will attest to it.
SPEAKER_00:You're gonna bury him under protective flower.
SPEAKER_02:Certainly can do that.
SPEAKER_01:Anybody else have one they might want to share?
SPEAKER_04:Okay, that's good.
SPEAKER_01:Kim said, okay, that's good.
SPEAKER_04:I will share not because I'm not because of the awkward silence, but because I want to share. But I think just realizing that there's other people in the same boat, you know, and listening to other stories of of these ladies and and uh knowing that we're all kind of some days just trying to make it, I think that has really helped me just kind of look at things a little differently and not I don't know, not judge myself quite as much.
SPEAKER_01:And and and I think that's a good point. You know, a lot of times when I bring up questions for others to share, it it's sometimes too because other people are thinking that but they don't want to say it. And then when somebody else has the opportunity to share, they go, it gives then you're okay with sharing smart because you go, Oh, I'm not, I'm not the only one. And I think that's so important. And sometimes in this type of environment, it opens up better discussions than because there may be people on here that don't talk to each other, it's not like you can call each other up or text each other, but you hear somebody else talking and you go, Well, I know her, I see her, and that resonates with me. But we'd never have that conversation one-on-one in any other way. So I think that's great. And that's one of the reasons I really enjoy when I sit down and have a conversation and interview people for the podcast. Those are conversations that I'd never have if it wasn't putting a microphone between us to have those conversations. And it's not like we'd probably normally have those. So it's it's really a nice opportunity. And really, those those are really selfish for me because it's something I'm interested in, or somebody has a story I want to hear. And so why I get to hear it without being just, hey, tell me your story. But then we get to share it because I know a lot of times with those stories, because I hear it over and over again, that that resonates with people, that hits a spot because whether we know it or not, we're so much alike. It's just it's just unbelievable. Anybody else have one? I won't, I won't make long, awkward silence. I just want to give anybody else a chance if they have one. All right. So we will get started on tonight. So if if you're chances are that in life we we always have things going on. We always have maybe stresses, worries, and there may be times that those small worries, those, and it may not be a big worry, it may not be a big stress, but you seem to have a gazillion and one of them, and they seem to just all start mounting and packing on. Sometimes we might refer to it as a backpack. You you know, your backpack is so full of all the things, you just can't stuff another one in. And what happens when you get a backpack so heavy and you can't move, and it makes and if you can, it makes it very hard, it makes it very sluggish. And so uh I want to share probably as we talk about the different things we're gonna talk about tonight. This really came about for me probably about five or six years ago. It was really a time that I was just down in all aspects of life. It was down with family, with synergy as a business, my training, my health, from weight to eating to exercise, um, you know, my faith, just everything. My religion was just at a low point. Um, and I just couldn't, I mean, everything was piling on. I just couldn't seem to get past anything. Like it was too overwhelming. Everything was. And as I mentioned in Walk and Talk the other day, we might even call it depression. I don't really, for me personally, I have nothing against those terms and naming those things, but for me personally, I don't like to give it a name because I don't want to say that is who I am because that's not who I believe we are. We're not a name of something. That's just part of us, and we can get past those things. So we might call it even depression at this time. And and it was it was not just a short time, it was a long period of time that nothing, and I was just miserable to live with and just a grump, not very pleasant to be around by anybody, really didn't want to do much, didn't have motivation to do much. And one Kim sent me this text, and I'm gonna read you that text, and and and from this text is really came about the topic that we're gonna talk about. And her text read this: she said, in regards to how I've been feeling and everything that's been going on, she said, it's only a change when you decide that it's going to be different and make steps to intentionally change your thoughts, actions, and responses each moment, not each day, but each moment. When you're as deep down as you have been, it is a mindset shift from every single thing and person you are in contact with. We talk about all the time, but it said, not each day, but each moment. Because there's sometimes in life that things are so overwhelming, it looks too big. How are we gonna get out of here? It's a financial thing, how are we gonna get past this? It's a family crisis, how are we gonna get past this? It's a job issue, how am I gonna get past this? And can you imagine if you have all those things that that come down together at the same time? And and it keep it kept coming out as I read that over and over. It said, each moment. And I thought, okay, how do I make each moment? How am I gonna change that? And so that's where the the thought came of shifted moments. And I thought, if I can shift a moment, how does that look? Because it doesn't do me much good. That all sounds really good, right? To shift a moment, to be happy, to be whatever. That sounds great. But and you probably hear that, you know, we hear that all the time. Well, change this, change that, change your attitude, change, you know, new new uh new life, new you, all this kind of stuff. But how do we do that? How do we tactically, strategically do that? And so as I thought about this, and how do I shift the moment? Because everything else truly and honestly felt too overwhelming. I only got out of bed and did things because I had to. I only talked to people because I had to. If I would go home and not talk at all. And so I was like, how do I how what are some things that I can do to make this shift, to shift a moment? And so I wrote those down and came up with four different things that how do we shift a moment when shifting the whole circumstance is too overwhelming. I can't do it, but I can look at the moment. And the first thing was, as Kim mentioned her text, is an overall shift has to be recognized as needed. You know, it all may look really big, but I knew there had to be a shift for me in a mindset. There had to be a shift, it had to be recognized. It's just like when we go to Sonic, and you and you know you shouldn't get that double cheeseburger with fries, and you'll get the diet coke because you know, you you want to watch a few calories, but you'll get the diet coke. But you recognize that I shouldn't be getting this, and that and that's when change really starts to happen. Is I mean, if you go to Sonic and you order all that and you never even think twice about it, change hasn't started yet. But in that moment that we recognize that a change is needed, in that case, it might be you know, I need to make better food options, then we we've recognized that an overall shift has to be made. And then so, and I recognize that what there need to be something that changed my attitude, it got me out of the place that I was in. And so, and the same true with each of us is that if there's a change that needs to be made, what is that? What's the overall shift? You're not saying you're gonna do it all at once. Maybe it's weight loss. So many times, when I lost 100 pounds, that is a lot, and that that's an overall shift. That's I recognize that needed to happen. And and that goes with any kind of our personal situation. Maybe it's financial, maybe it's relationship, maybe there's a shift that needs to change relationship-wise. Maybe it's your friends, maybe it's even with a spouse. There's something that needs to change, but whatever it is seems way too overwhelming. But first we have to recognize it. And then the second thing is we have to be intentional with our thought. So intentional with our thought. Because when we're when we're intentional with our thought, it then, as Kim texts me, it will then be intentional with our action and our response. So that intentionality has to first start with our thought. So some of you are working at your desk, some of you are in your car, some of you are just sitting out on your back porch, some of you are at the wine bar, um, not drinking wine, but working. So all of you are in different places. But the interesting thing, no matter where you're at, if you're in the car, at one time that car was just a thought. It wasn't invented yet. Somebody, you know, Henry Ford thought we need a better way to get around than horse and buggy. And when we and that house you're in, somebody thought when they built a house, we need something more sturdy than a little wooden uh hut. If you're sitting at a desk, people go, Well, I can't, I just can't ride on this, so I need something solid to put it on. So they came up with that. So everything that you're encountering on a daily basis was first a thought. And that's where everything starts. Everything starts with a thought. And with that thought, then leads to an action. It leads to actually first a remote emotional response and then an action, because every thought typically has an emotional response attached to it, whether it's anger, sadness, joy, happiness, it always has an emotional thing attached to it. And that emotional thing attached then causes our response. So when we're really intentional about our thought, we can start to tweak our emotions towards that thought, and then we start to tweak our responses to that. And so being intentional with the thought, when when we start to derail on a thought, because how many, how many of you just today have derailed on a thought? In other words, what does a derail on a thought means? It means you went down a rabbit hole with that thought, and it went way out of hand. Yeah, and and I do that regularly.
SPEAKER_04:Regularly, I do it every day myself. That's what my brain does on a daily basis. Every day we call it chasing rabbits.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, on a daily basis. And you chase the rabbit, the rabbit got hit by a car, jumped up, got hit by a car again, then you went chasing after the rabbit, and you got hit by a car, and then you're laying there together, dead on the road, then a semi came back over, ran over you, backed up again. That's what happens.
SPEAKER_04:When we're intentional with a buzzard, and then how's my family gonna respond to that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, then how my how's my family gonna respond to it? The buzzard's down pecking at you. I mean, so now you're dying again. I mean, and and and that's I mean, that's this that's the truth. Um, that's how far we take it. Um, but what if we're intentional with that thought um when it starts to go there and you change that thought just for a second? It doesn't mean that you change the whole trajectory of that thought. It just means you change that thought for a second. And and you keep doing that later, and that maybe later in the day you have a thought and you change it just for a second before it rabbit holes down there. You go, okay, now you know that isn't the reality. And so you have to be intentional with that, you have to catch it because our thoughts run away with us unintentionally. So we have to be intentional with those. And and which leads to the next one, which is we we create a wind, which is really our shifted moment. So when we have that thought, that shifted moment, we create that wind by going, okay, let me think of a different thought real fast. Um, you know, I'm chasing the rabbit, it got hit by a car. Um, instead, maybe it's I'm chasing a rabbit and I got out of wind and I couldn't breathe, so I turned around and went home. So then you have to see the rabbit get hit. You don't know what happened. Um, then you then you can avoid it. It's avoidance. Um, you know, feel good avoidance because you didn't know what happened. Um, but that's creating a small win. Um, maybe it's just with a conversation. Uh sometimes just the shortest of conversations with somebody um can shift a momentum. And it might, I mean, we're not talking about it shifts your momentum for the day. You read that text and you get a little smile. Um, or sometimes you get a text and it's a quick little laugh or a chuckle. That's a win. And sometimes when you're so far in it, whether it's relational, whether it's job, whether it's all the different things that we get in, sometimes that chuckle can go a long way. And that's just a shifted moment, is is just that. Maybe it's with an emotion. Maybe it's your first thought is to get mad at this thing that happened. But then you go, you know what? I'm gonna play it off, I'm gonna smile about it, I'm just gonna walk away. That's a that's a quick shifted moment that can make any difference with your emotion from going angry to sad to hey, that's just the way it goes, and walk away. And maybe it's just with a quick action. Maybe it is like you're having a lousy day, and everything is just the worst at this moment, but leave it better than you found it hits you in your brain. And you pick up that piece of trash, which is which is just a quick little win for somebody else to not have to do that. It's a quick little win for your thought to go, I just picked up, I just left it better and I found it, which leads to emotion of I'm proud of myself for doing that little thing. The rest of your world can be in in utter shambles, but you did that good thing, that one little thing of picking up a piece of paper or a piece of trash or waving at somebody that normally or saying hi that normally you might not. You might have passed them normally in the grocery store and judged them because they had you know some cake mix and some bluebell and some chips in their cart, and you gave them the judgy eyes when you walked by. So maybe the shifted moment is you don't give them the judgy eyes, and you just give them a thumbs up. Like, I wish I could eat all that.
SPEAKER_03:I was gonna say, I'd be jealous, not judging.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. And and then maybe when you think that, I'm so jealous, then you go, man, that is some good stuff you got in your cart. Because you know deep down you'd want to eat it too. But those and we just have to create a little win. And then the last one is we have to stack those wins because when we stack those multiple shifted moments, over time they will move us towards the direction we want to go. They will move us towards that overall shift. Now, we may have uh one shifted moment, one little bitty moment today. We may have worked really hard the next day and not had any. And then three days from now, we had a couple. We had just a quick, nice conversation with a friend. Then somebody sent us a quick little meme that just made us chuckle that same day. Man, that's that's that's two little two little wins I got to stack today. And then over time you start to see how you begin to change and you move towards that overall shift that you want. Because it's not about when I lost 100 pounds, it wasn't about losing 10, 20, 30, 40 pounds at a time. I lost one pound. I lost half a pound. Some weeks I went in and lost a quarter of a pound, and I worked so hard that week to lose a quarter of a pound. But guess what? Over that year, those quarters, those one and a half, those halves, they all stacked up to that big 100. And the same thing is true with us. Those little wins will start to stack up, those shifted moments will start to make a difference. Even at those moments when we think, I just can't do anything. You know, some days, you know, we get out of bed and and people, oh, you're here on time, you know, or you're late. And they say, Oh, I can't believe you're late. And you're thinking, heck, I'm just it was a win because I got out of bed today. Forget that I was late. I just wanted to stay in bed all day. So it's a win for me that I got out of bed. And even that when could because people might try to take your wins away, but you know what that win is. And we we have to move towards those and take those because things in life can get very overwhelming, just as it did for me. And it took time to move from that. And and don't get me wrong, there are still times, even this year, all of those have come down. And so then I think about this and I work on this and say, okay, I can't change all those things. So I don't know if we've talked about rebound effect, but it's it's when you rebound quicker each time. And the first time I went through this and used all these things, it took a long time. Now I can catch those things a little bit quicker and go through these and and move forward. And so I don't have to sit in those places I did in the past because I can let stress really get to me. I I can let family stress, financial stress, business stress, creative stress, all those things can get to me. But I always go back to this and go, I can't. Some days I I can't get everything fixed, but what thing can I can I shift? Um and sometimes it's just how I think. It's it's not even any action I can take. Um, if anybody was looking at me, they go, well, he's not doing anything to work towards that. But they can't see inside your brain, they can't see the work you're doing on the inside. And that's why I ask, you know, you you can see the results um, you know, in the gym. And Kim and I were talking about this today. Um, it's so easy to get results in the gym. Why is that? Because you're here lifting the heavy weights. I'm saying, hey, you gotta lift this for 30 seconds, you gotta do eight reps, you do it. The thing about this is I give you the tools. And the challenging part is when we go off this uh call and you go out into the world, you gotta do all the heavy lifting on your own. You gotta take what we talked about and start lifting the heavy weights and doing the work, which is really hard, it's really challenging. But as we've talked about last week, is anybody coming to save you? No, because there's one person responsible for you, and who is that? It's you, you, and sometimes when the things are too big, you just take one moment, one little win. That's a thought, that's an action, that's an emotion, um, it's a conversation, it's that one little thing. So that's my challenge to you is if you're in it, if there's something that you really want to change, it just seems too big, too monumental. What is the the shifted moment? That one moment, and I'm when I'm saying a moment, I'm not even talking about a minute. It may be a 10-second, it may be a 15-second uh thing that will begin the shift. Because when you have that, that starts to shift and those start to compound. And so that's the challenge is is take these things and apply them to that big thing that is really overwhelming you. Because believe it or not, we have close to 20 people on here, and I guarantee you there is more than just myself that currently have overwhelming things going on that we need those shifted moments in. So, any questions, comments, or thoughts? It's a lot of heavy stuff. So it is up to you now to go take the heavy weights, take it out into the world, and do the work. So, just as we lift those heavyweights for our physical well being, and you get to leave and use those heavy weights to build your emotional, spiritual, and mental well being. So, thank you all to each of you, and I'll see all of you tomorrow or the next day. Thank y'all. And thank you to each of you for joining us today on Sit and Talk. And look forward to seeing you right here next time on Sit and Talk.