The Mind Body Project
The Mind Body Project
Sit & Talk: Guard Against Energy Thieves
We break down energy thieves—people, places, and habits that drain attention and joy—and share simple tools to protect focus during the holidays. We show how unplugging, clear boundaries, and body awareness restore confidence and calm.
• defining energy thieves and why we let them in
• social media as an open door and comparison trap
• unplugging with intention and curated inputs
• setting boundaries with family and friends in advance
• noticing when you are the energy thief
• time limits, respectful exits, and grace
• listening to your body’s early signals
• replacing thought loops with intentional focus
Welcome to Sit and Talk. Thank you for joining us this evening. If this is your first time, um, each week we take uh a little time and join our live call each week that we have for sit and talk. We talk about a topic that will help us to grow, have mental growth, uh mental just expansion, just to grow mentally. And we share um share that live call with you. Join in as I share that with our our on our live call. And if they have questions and comments, then we just talk about that and and you get to join in. So thank you so much for joining us on our Sentin Talk this week. Um, let's go to the live call. So we'll see real quick. Um since you're here, and if you were here last night, um, you knew there was a quiz last night, um, right at the beginning. So we'll go with the quiz right at the beginning. Um, what is today's topic?
SPEAKER_03:Energy thieves.
SPEAKER_00:Somebody looked ahead. Or you might already heard it yesterday.
SPEAKER_04:I would fail again today. I didn't want you to make us feel like we were complete losers again.
SPEAKER_00:I didn't make you feel like you're a complete loser. I was just I was just curious.
SPEAKER_03:I was I was taking it for the team.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Thanks, Kim. You're welcome. Thanks for saving it, Kimbo.
SPEAKER_03:You're welcome. I'm here for the people.
SPEAKER_00:And see, and what better time, uh, especially the night before Thanksgiving, to talk about energy thieves. Um because um chances are we could encounter some energy thieves tomorrow on Thanksgiving or in the next few days as we have different Thanksgivings. Um, we may have to be around some energy thieves. Um so we're gonna talk about those, um, what they do, what they look like, and how we guard against them. Um so first of all, what what is what would you think an energy thief is?
SPEAKER_03:Someone that takes up your time and energy.
SPEAKER_00:Steals your joy. Steals your joy. Takes your time and energy. Um sometimes um I refer to those as tire kickers. Um a tire kicker is if um you know if somebody comes to buy a car um and they keep kicking kicking the tires, checking it out, looking around, they're never intending to buy anything or do anything. Um they just want to take up your time or energy. Um, so it's a tire kicker. Uh and you know, I could I'd always could spot tire kickers pretty well at the gym when they'd come in and have questions about gym memberships, all that. I could tell by the what they were telling me that they were just gonna kick the tires and they were never gonna join the gym. They just wanted to feel really good about themselves about coming in asking about the gym. Because that way they can tell somebody that day, hey, I went to the gym today. They won't tell them what they did, they said they went to the gym. Um, so an energy thief is someone that steals our energy, our joy, our time. Um, they take all that. It's actually someone, something, or some place um that that steals our energy, that takes our energy. Um, and so how does how does somebody steal our energy? We'll talk about how does somebody steal our energy? We let them. We let them. How how do we let them sometimes, even when we really we know going into it that they're gonna be an energy stealer? So how is it that we still let them do that?
SPEAKER_04:Well, we could buy into the negativity.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you know, it's sometimes you go into a conversation, you're you're feeling pretty good, and then they start maybe talking about their drama, other people's drama, and then it starts to you can feel a little bit um if you had an energy meter, um, you could, or a you know, like on the iPhone, a battery, um, or a Samsung, if if you live that life, um, you can start to see the battery just go down, go down, go down. Um, and yeah, so how else can somebody steal your energy, be an energy thief? How about how about how can something be an energy thief?
SPEAKER_01:What would be social media?
SPEAKER_00:What else could be a what is there another anything else that could be an energy thief? And this is just, I mean, as you're thinking about things is take your energy, what would it maybe be?
SPEAKER_04:I say the kitchen because it's exhausting to think about all things that need to be cooked, or that's just a lot.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so it could be um it could be the kitchen, it could be going to Walmart, um, it could be just being at a party, maybe you're not talking to anybody, but just being there is a place. Uh or I mean a thing. Well, that's a place, but um so there's also, you know, there's there's things that we have to do sometimes that just take our energy. So there's all sorts of different ones that are energy still. It can be a person, uh, a place, or a thing. Uh so we're gonna talk about, you know, how do we guard against those? And um first one we'll talk about is we're gonna unplug. Um, so when we talk about social media, how do we unplug from social media?
SPEAKER_02:Turn it off.
SPEAKER_00:Turn it off, take time away from it, take time away. Because as we mentioned, sometimes how do energy thieves get in? We let them. So, you know, when we think about an energy thief and we engage in that, um, how many times have you told somebody, well, I got on social media and I went down a rabbit hole? Well, rabbit hole is really a modern way of saying I wasted a lot of time and I got nothing done. But it sounds like you were doing, you know, some real extensive research.
SPEAKER_03:So you could say, well, initially you were. You might have looked up something that how to fix something or prepare something, but then the next video comes up, and next thing you know, and and and why would the next video be the one that got you all of a sudden? Well, because they set it up that way.
SPEAKER_00:It's it's the black hole. It's the black. Yeah, yeah. So you think about an energy thief and we think about social media. And we talked about you let them in. So basically, when you hit any button, any app for social media, whether it's TikTok, whether it's Instagram, whether it's Facebook, whatever that you touch, and you open it up on your phone, iPad, computer, wherever you're looking at, that's the same as opening your door, your front door to your house, really your front door and back door to your house, and you put a big old banner that says, Come on in and take everything I got. And and then when when all the thieves start coming in because you posted a sign and you open the doors and um you ask them if they want anything to drink or eat while they're sealing all your stuff, um, then they leave and you're shocked that you now have an empty house. Like, I mean, what happened to all my stuff? Well, it's kind of like when you get done going down the rabbit hole, going down the black hole, and sometimes you get off the social media feeling worse than when you got on. Because maybe you were just looking for you're feeling a little sad, so you're looking for that song that might be a little sad. And then you just meant to listen to one, but now you listen to like 10 of them, and now you're even more sad. So it's like saying, Come on in and take all you want, and then you get off the social media, whatever it is, and you go, I don't know why I feel like that. Oh, I thought that was gonna make me feel better, but I guess it didn't. It just takes your energy. So, just as we have a choice to not let the thieves in our house, because I'm sure most of us lock our doors at night because we don't want anybody coming in while we're sleeping. And so the same is true for social media. We can lock the door by not tapping on it, not go, not opening the door. Um, and so it unplugged unplugging from it doesn't necessarily mean that we're not going to be on it, it just means maybe we there's we look, we we start changing the things we look at. Because by scrolling mindlessly, and when you when something is catches your your attention for just a few seconds, that few seconds is all it takes for now social media to start giving you more of that. It doesn't take but a few seconds, and then if you click on it, anything on it, now you're gonna be getting more and more of that. Um so sometimes if we are gonna plug in, maybe we don't plug in as much, or maybe we start searching some different things instead of we start looking, being more intentional with what we're looking at, what we're doing. And so sometimes instead of, you know, we can use social media to work for us or work against us, and and really, I think at all times for all of us, it has been probably an energy thief. And with the change of AI, there's gonna be more and more opportunities for those things to be energy thieves by energy. But you know, when you get on social media, how do you feel sometimes when you get on social media after you've been on there for five minutes, maybe? How do you feel sometimes?
SPEAKER_02:Not enough.
SPEAKER_00:Not enough. Do you ever feel a little bit of anxiety? Yes, do you ever feel like a little bit unworthy? Do you ever feel like they got it a little bit better than you do? Yes. Do you ever feel like, well, that's their second vacation this year, and it's only February? Wow, must be nice. And then you thought started thinking, what am I doing wrong? And and and I've been that way too. There's some things, different things that goals I uh I have and and work on, and then I see that on social media that that there's people that are achieving that when I'm like, man, I've been working so hard at this, and and then I start thinking, well, maybe I'm not doing it right. Maybe they maybe I'm not smart enough, maybe they're smarter than me, maybe they have all the and you start going down this not rabbit hole in social media, but rabbit hole in your mind. And then what does it start doing? It starts taking your energy for you to want to be able to create more, to be more, to keep doing the things you want to do. It starts taking from that. And so stealing our energy is not about you know making you tired, it's making you feel unworthy, not capable, inadequate. You know, infomercials are really good at making us feel very inadequate when it comes to exercise infomercials. Wow, I wish I looked like that. I'm not doing enough. So that's how they steal our energy. And the thing is, when they steal our energy in that way, then it starts creeping into so then we get off social media, and now we're feeling a little bit unworthy, or my self-image is kind of, I'm like, look, I got, and so now that transfers over to the next person we talk to. Maybe it's our spouse, maybe it's our kid, and we maybe take it out on them and they go, What in the world happened? I left the room five minutes ago and you were great. I came back, and now you're complaining because we're not going on vacation, we don't have this, we don't have that, what happened? So it steals energy in that way. And so we can sometimes we just have to unplug from that, and whatever that maybe if you're starting your day out that way, if that's the first thing you look at, how is that charging your energy for the day? So maybe it's unplugging from it, is maybe it's you just unplug it from it first thing in the morning. And again, I'm not saying there's a right or wrong way to any of this, it's the way that works for you. So if you notice some things that there's some energy thieves when it comes to social media, then you have to find that again, that balance that works for you. And so, and then there's another way we have to guard against that energy thief when it becomes sometimes around a person or a place or thing, is we have to limit the time around that energy thief. So that's real easy if we say social media, right? It's real easy to say, okay, you know, I'm gonna set my little timer on the phone that says, you know, you can't get back on because you've already looked, you've already been on there for an hour today, or I'm gonna set a certain amount of times that I'm not gonna get on before seven o'clock in the morning, I'm not gonna get on after eight o'clock at night. That's easy. So, as the holidays, tomorrow, Thanksgiving, we go into the weekend. How do we limit our time around the people we love or that love us but are energy thieves? How do we do that?
SPEAKER_04:Boundaries not, huh? Christy, somebody said boundaries.
SPEAKER_00:I said small, I didn't like so boundaries is good.
SPEAKER_02:I wear my turmaline. My turmaline. So they think I'm weird, so I'll wipe on the phone.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that is a good way. You can act weird, and and that will they do different things. Well, that's a new one. I never thought about acting weird. That's pretty good. Yeah, you can do that, and yeah, that that will kind of limit your time around them. But it is boundaries too. Boundaries is is a is a really good one. The interesting thing about boundaries is with boundaries, what do we have to do before we ever engage in that time with that person? Is we have to be intentional. We have to already have determined what our boundaries are and what they look like. Because if you haven't determined your boundaries prior to that engagement with that energy thief, your boundaries may move. And then they've already moved past where you intended, and then it makes it really hard to go back. You know, and it is challenging because sometimes that energy thief from time to time is the one that lives in your house. Maybe they sit next to you at the dinner table, maybe they sleep next to you at night. They can be an energy thief. And when we talk about that, you know, how do we you know, how do we set time around energy thieves, either of the people we love or who love us? We have to think, are you being an energy thief? Maybe of that person in your house, maybe of of the one you're next to at night, maybe the people you work with, maybe you're that energy, maybe that's you know, you're always saying, Well, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. You won't believe the amount of luck I've had, you won't believe this great job I got, you won't believe, and we go on and on about those things, and we think, well, I'm just sharing, but you realize that, well, maybe I could be an energy thief to someone else instead of adding energy to them. I think, oh, I'm all bubbly and happy they left me and felt drained because they were around me, and we don't feel that we were an energy thief. But again, we have to be self-aware and say, Am I doing that to someone else? And would I want that done to me? And so sometimes when we set times, maybe if it's someone we live with, sometimes if it's people we work with, maybe we can go stay in our office or walk, walk around their office, or try to have limited interaction. But it really becomes tough when it's people that we love and who love us.
SPEAKER_03:So maybe I always have to go find you. Are you hiding?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. I'm always hiding. We we we always play Marco Polo, yeah. But but sometimes it's maybe just going into another room and needing some quiet time. Maybe it's you know, I mean, like, so if we if we limit our time around an energy thief, so I know that if Kim and I go on a on a trip, on a vacation, or we go anywhere, and she'll usually get up a little later than me on the day we're gonna leave. So I come work out, make sure everything's good at the gym. And so I've been up for an hour, hour and a half. And so by the time I get home, um, and she's kind of maybe just getting up, I'm all ready to go. I'm full of energy. And so I'm talking and because she likes me to talk and and do all these things, and then I realize, oh, wait a minute. I am taking her energy because she's like, I need a minute. You're a little much already. And so as the longer we've been married, I realize I need to limit my time around her because she needs to limit her time around me when we do that. I need to give her time to kind of warm up to the day, warm up to the morning. So I work really hard, and when I get home and from that and we're fixing to leave, I kind of let her be the charge of taking the conversation. And then when she is, I'm I'm ready to go. But I mean, she has told me, hey, you're a little much right now. You need to bring it down. I just woke up, or I'm just getting going, or I haven't had my spark yet, or I haven't had my vacation donut that we're eating yet. So so sometimes we have to limit that time, and sometimes if we might be the energy thief, we have to sometimes set those boundaries and respect that other person that goes, okay, they're gonna they need to limit their time around me for just a little bit and not get our feelers hurt about it. Like I don't know why they don't want to be me. I fully get it. For me, I mean, I'm usually an hour and a half to two hours before I ever interact with anybody every morning. Which is great. If somebody was to come at me right when I got up or 30 minutes after, I probably wouldn't be a happy camper. So I get that. But we have to give grace to those people and say and understand that that's their boundary, and we need to respect that. Um, so we can just set a certain amount of time, and however that works, um, and maybe it is a conversation that says, you know what, sometimes you take my energy. I'm not saying in a bad way, and I know you don't mean it, but I just need a little time by myself. And hopefully you can have those conversations, especially with those that you love, and nobody get been out of shape, is the hope. So uh we unplug um however that looks for each of us. Uh we limit our time around that energy thief. Again, we limit our time on social media because if it's stealing our joy, stealing our energy, stealing um all of those things, we limit our time. Around it. Um, and the last one is we listen to our body. Because what is we we have to think, what is that energy thief doing to me? Is it if it's still my joy, it's kind of making me upset, it's kind of making me sad. If it's still in my feeling inadequate, now I'm always looking for comparisons. So now my body, well, my body's not good enough. Uh my brain's not good enough, my actions aren't good enough. So we're thinking about how's that affecting my body? Sometimes it's just, you know, it's just exhausting to see everybody doing so well and me doing so poorly. It's just exhausting. I need a nap. And that'll make it go away. Sometimes that negativity, that energy thief, we get depressed. Have there ever been times that you go, I just don't want to get out of bed today? Um, and and that's and that's from energy thieves. Um, I was just listening to uh Mel Robbins um this week, and again, she was talking about um 54321, um which was her first book, and really what made her um famous um was really by accident. It was really because um her husband was stealing her energy, their financial situation was stealing their energy, everything was stealing her energy, and she just wanted to stay in bed. And so she had to get to the point where she watched an infomercial or something about a rocket, and and and they counted down five, four, three, two, one. So she told herself the next morning that's why I was that's what she was gonna do was five, four, three, two, one to get out of bed. And because all those things building up in her life were making her not want to get out of bed. And if we don't listen to our body, our body will speak to us regardless. It will it will kind of whisper at first and then it'll get louder, and then it will start screaming. So if if you have stress and you think you're managing it very well, it will come out. If you have anxiety and you think you're managing it very well, it will come out over time. Just give it enough time and it will, because we can't keep, as we've talked about before, we can't keep pushing that stuff down in our backpack or kicking it under the carpet or rug. Because what eventually happens to our backpack? It overflows, it overflows, it rips, and if it rips, what happens? Everything comes spilling out. Um, if we keep shoveling under our rug, eventually it's all gonna come peeking out of our rug because if you keep pushing, you're gonna run out of room, it's gonna come out on the other side. Um, and so it so our body is the same way. Uh, it will come out physically. Um, a lot of times, um people are sick all the time. A lot of times that's not because of what's in the air or the people they're around. Well, it might be the people around because they're a bunch of energy thieves. Um, but it could be negativity, it could be depression, it could be anxiety. Um, all those things affect our uh body. And um, that's what so we have to how is this making me feel? Um, you know, how's it how's it affecting my body uh and and the emotions that go with it? And uh we we have to be self-aware of that. Instead of mindlessly scrolling, say, what's making me happy? What's making me sad? What's giving me motivation? What's encouraging me? What's inspiring me? What is uh making me cry? What is making me laugh? Um, what how does that make my body feel? So um it sounds like a lot as you're scrolling through social media to think about all that, um, but your brain's doing that anyhow. Um, but if we're conscious of it and we're intentional about it, uh it makes a big difference if we're intentionally um, because you're fine if you just click on a few sad things or go look at a few sad things, um, then you start getting more of it. Um really what happens what happens when we focus on something? What do we usually get?
SPEAKER_04:What we're focusing on.
SPEAKER_00:What we're focusing on. So if you want to focus on the negative things, what are we gonna get?
SPEAKER_04:The negative.
SPEAKER_00:The negative. If we focus on the positive, what are we gonna get?
SPEAKER_04:The positive, the positive.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so and that's just um you might call it um law of attraction, you might call it manifesting, you but all of those things are really the same thing. Um, it's just when you go out looking for those things, you're gonna get those. So if you're always looking for those energy thieves, um and you engage with them, what are you gonna get? Energy thieves. And you're gonna wonder why you're so exhausted, why you're so sick, why you're not feeling good, why you don't have any time for yourself. Um, because again, opening that door for an energy thief looks like, oh yes, I'd love to be part of that. Oh, yes, I can do that for you. Uh, kids call up. Hey, mom, can you do this? Okay, I'll be right there. Um, and we keep saying, I'll be right there. I'll be right there. Sure, I can do that, no problem. And we wonder why we're exhausted, why we um are resentful. We wonder all those things. It's because we open the door, and sometimes the door is opened by the word yes. When sometimes it's okay to close the door with a no to save our energy. To sometimes we need to add power back to our battery to increase so what we can do. Just like if you know you're not gonna have a charger for a while, what do you try to do? You try to conserve your battery because I'm not gonna have a charger, I don't want to be dead, my battery be dead. The same thing is true with energy thieves. We try to conserve energy because we're gonna need that for us. I need that energy to be able to wake up and come to the gym in the morning. I need the energy to be able to do the things I want to do at home. I need the energy to be able to do the hobby I want to do. I'm not gonna give that energy to somebody else. And also, energy thieves, another way we kind of open the door just real quick is they say something to us or do something to us, and we keep thinking about it. And so that that that person, that thing is not even around us. And are you talking to me? I'm not.
SPEAKER_01:Did you follow me around this thing like a preacher? But he is talking to me, and I left that in the gym this morning. You saw me.
SPEAKER_00:You did, and so so and I'm not just talking to you, I'm talking to myself too, because there are things I let rattle around in my brain, and that person or that thing never even knows it. But I'm giving it energy, and so that in itself is an energy thief, and they didn't even know it. They didn't even plan it. That thing didn't even plan it, it just kept rolling around. And so we do give, we we open the door to that because of our brain, we just let it go round and round. So we have to guard against that and and and change that thought process. Um, and say, you know, you're not gonna take energy from me any longer. So we unplug, we limit our time, and we listen to what our body says. Don't open the door and let the thief in. Keep it closed, crack it open, see if you want to let let him in. And if you do, just let them in for a short visit. Kind of like on visitation night when the preacher comes by, say it's a mess, preacher, you're not gonna be able to stay long. Out the door you go. And we guard our house, and we should guard our energy just as we guard our house, just as we guard our loved ones, because our energy isn't free to give away. It is ours to do with what we will. I'm gonna not allow somebody to steal it. And so, really, the the challenge is just that. It's just is there somebody, something or somewhere that is stealing a little energy? Um, there's something that you can do to limit your time, unplug it from it, or decide what's doing to your body. Any thoughts, comments, or questions? All right. Well, have a fabulous Thanksgiving, and I'll see I'll see everybody next week. And thank you to each of you for joining us on uh Sit and Talk this evening. We'll look forward to seeing you right here next time on Sit and Talk.