The Mind Body Project
The Mind Body Project
Healthy Huddle: The Myth of Willpower
We explore why willpower is finite, how stress and decision fatigue drain it, and why environment design beats white-knuckling urges. We share practical ways to make healthy choices visible, easy, and social, and we set up a recipe share to simplify planning.
• willpower as a finite brain resource
• decision fatigue and timing of cravings
• environment visibility and convenience cues
• social settings shaping food choices
• discipline versus willpower distinction
• systems-first planning for meals and snacks
• default options and batch prep
• identity and language shifts to reduce shame
• household alignment and support
• practical audit of pantry and routines
• recipe sharing to build simple meal rotations
Welcome back to Healthy Huddle. Thanks for taking a little time to join us today. If this is your first time each week, we join our live call that we have each week to discuss a different uh nutrition topic. And a lot of times, sometimes that we never talk about diet, so we often talk about how do we live a balanced life and some of those things that go into that with nutrition from all aspects to our from our environment to our planning to all those different things. So that's what we talk about. So thank you for joining us today on Healthy Huddle and let's join the live call. So we're gonna talk about willpower, actually, the myth of willpower. So we'll kind of try to get to all of it that we didn't get to the other day. So, but but starting out, you know, when we we talk about willpower all the time, and you think, well, I don't have willpower. Um, so willpower is a finite brain resource. So, what does that mean? Finite, it means there is an end to it. An infinite means it's go can go forever, but a finite resource, brain resource, means that there is an end to it. Um, so a lot of times we think, well, if I just had more willpower, I could eat better. But as you think about willpower, and it might be with food, it might be with spending, it might be with all sorts of different things. But if you think about willpower and you think, when do I have more of it? When do I have less of it? And you think about when do you when are you, you know, online shopping? Where you go, I just don't have willpower. Is it in the evening? Is it in the morning? Is it it during the afternoon? And typically you're gonna find willpower is less around times that it's been drained throughout the day. Maybe, maybe it's already by, and there's no set time, you know. Some of us might be able to make it till evening. Some of us, our willpower might be drained by 10 o'clock in the morning. And so, what what kind of things drain us? Things like our brain's tired, it gets tired, our stress is higher sometimes. Like we go throughout the day, we think your willpower is less at night. It's because brain's tired, your stress is higher, your self-control is lower. Think about when it comes to food. You might have a stronger willpower at lunch than you do at supper, or it might be I can make a really good decision for breakfast, but by after breakfast and I get to work, and all these things happen texts, phone calls, emails. By noon, I'm like, I don't care, I'm just done. So it's it's really saying that our willpower isn't broken, it's just overworked because willpower is a brain resource. Um, and we think somehow we should just magically have this amazing willpower. So you might be at a party and you might get a dessert and the person next to you not, and they might have more, you know, at they might you might say, Oh, well, they just have more willpower than me. That's not necessarily the case. And maybe at that moment because your brain is tired in different ways. Um, so maybe their, you know, their willpower is not been drained. Where yours might be, depending on the day, it might already be drained. So it really is an a finite resource. We don't we only have so much of it. And then we go to bed, we wake up, boo, renews again. So, you know, why does our willpower fail? Kind of like I mentioned, it you know, decision making uses glucose and mental energy. So think about every decision you make. What to wear, emails, your work stress, what do this, what does the family need? Um, I'm trying to decide what I'm gonna cook for supper, what I'm gonna cook for lunch, what how I'm gonna meal prep, how I'm gonna take that food with me, um, how am I gonna get this kid here, that kid there? Um, I got a kid coming over, you know, all these things um that drains our willpower. And so a lot of times by the time we get to a certain meal, it might be lunch, it might be dinner, it might be even late night. It's kind of gone. It's kind of like, man, I'm kind of done. So, and and then our willpower is is weak against our environment. So, what does that mean? So, if food is visible and it's not so good, what are we gonna do? Probably gonna grab it if it's convenient. If it's visible, it it's on like during the holidays, we had those little tins with pretzels and chocolate in it. It's visible. You just open the top, grab one, and close it down. It's visible, it's convenient, and so those things somehow disappeared one by one, and I'm not sure how, but they did. And then willpower your environment if we're social. You know, when we're it's harder to have willpower when we're being social, when we're in a social environment, or when we're emotional. So, what kind of emotional environment are we? You know, if you think about funerals, lots of food around, weddings, lots of funerals, or lots of funerals, lots of food around. So willpower loses over and over again. So, have you ever noticed do you eat different on vacation than you do at home? The answer is probably yes. Do you eat different at work than you do at home? Do you eat different at home than you do all those places? Yes. Do you eat different with friends? And sometimes, think about it. Um, sometimes you go might go out with a group of friends and you eat maybe more things different. Maybe you go out with a group of friends that everybody's trying to be healthy, so again, you eat different, and not only do you eat different with friends, but you eat different with different groups of friends. So you might have friends that are really like to like to knock back a margarita or two, so you drink more with them. Then you go out with some friends that eat healthy, and they don't really do that. So you're like, oh, I bet I'll take a skinny or I won't have any. So and we eat we do that with different friends or family that we're we're with. We kind of eat differently.
SPEAKER_00:Um sometimes you have friends that don't like to eat breakfast. You gotta fix that real fast. That's right.
SPEAKER_01:Some sometimes you have those friends. Um we all have to make it.
SPEAKER_00:Sometimes we need to retrain them.
SPEAKER_01:Retrain them.
SPEAKER_00:But we're trained now. They're trained now. They know she's gonna need to eat.
SPEAKER_01:She's gonna need to eat. So so you so you're the same person in all those different environments. So you you know, why would your willpower change in different ones? It's because of different environments. Just like Biggest Loser, as I mentioned the other day, is biggest loser. All of those contestants had great success on the I can't remember what it's called, but at the house and working out why they were there on campus or whatever it was. And then if you follow them later, I think Netflix did a sh a follow-up on a lot of the biggest loser contestants. A lot of them gained it back. And why were they able to do it there and not out on their own? Because they're the same people. They they have, they, they knew what to do, but they're around different people. So their environment at the biggest loser compound, you know, other people around them were working out. There were only a certain amount of things or kinds of things in the refrigerator, in the pantry, in the cabinet. They had the doctor supervising them, telling them what they could or couldn't eat, all those different things. So their environment was very structured. And then they go home and their environment becomes not structured. Then they have to deal again with the work, and they have to, you know, with family, all those different things come back into play again. And so it's definitely very affected by our environment. And willpower is reactive, not proactive. So, what does that mean? So that means really willpower only works in the moment of the temptation, but our environment works before that temptation shows up. So if we craft our environment in a certain way, we've already started being proactive. But in the moment of temptation, the willpower is reactive to that. Do I do it or do I not do it? Only in that moment. Whereas we're going to talk about how do we make our environment a strategy for our environment, how do we do that? So when we talk about the solution, isn't stronger willpower, it's really more about how do we create fewer battles, how do we create fewer temptations? Because if willpower only works in the moment of temptation, so so that's why sometimes we get discipline and willpower confused. I don't have discipline, I don't have willpower. They're not interchangeable. Discipline is the long game. Well, willpower is at the moment. Um, discipline is understanding that my future um gain is bigger than my future um discomfort, or my my future gain is more rewarding than my current discomfort. That is discipline. Whereas willpower is like yes or no on this moment, this thing. Do I click by now or do I not? Yes or no. Um so how do we how do we structure our environment? Um it really it kind of everything everything that we want to achieve um breaks down to our systems. So, in other words, um, I really like the saying, it says you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. We've talked about before that if you set a goal, once you set it, you have to create processes. Might call them systems. How do I get to that goal? Once once you've kind of reverse engineered to say what do I need to get, what the what are the things I need to do, the systems, the process, however you want to phrase it to get to my goal. And so once you decide on those and figure out that process, you don't ever have to worry about your goal again. Because the process will take care of that goal. It's kind of like manufacturing a car. They figured what's what's the when I worked at Peterbelt, the I think the goal was each shift had to do like 50 trucks or something like that. I don't know what it was. They had to get 50 trucks off the line. But the thing is they didn't really have to worry about, you know, of course there's little hold-ups and things like that, but the interesting thing is they had all the processes. I worked back in the frame shop, so I I was where they they actually started. But the interesting thing is if you go down the line, if you followed the the manufacturing of that that truck, you would see there's a frame, then they add something else, they add wiring, that all the different places. And if you followed that process within a day or two, there'd be a truck come, that truck would come off the line. But they had all of those staggered out, so you know they were having 50 to 60 trucks roll off the line each shift. So they didn't have to worry about is a truck going to even come off the line today, because they had already set up the process, and so we're no different. If we set the goal of maybe I want this many pounds to lose, or I want to get in this kind of shape, this many inches lost, or I want to be able to run this. If if we let's say if you want to run a half marathon, you set the plan, and if you follow the plan, you'll get to that point. Um you know, and then if you set a goal of time, you can all different things, but it's the process. If if you um if you create new systems, you will rise to your goal. Um, but if you if you have to have those systems because we'll always fall back to the systems we have, good or bad, we'll always fall back to them. Um, so we'll talk about how do we how do we set up the environment? Make it visible. Like I said, what you see you can eat. Put fruit on the counter, put a water bottle. If you have trouble drinking water, put it there on your desk. Put snacks at eye level, protein snacks, the snacks you want. Hide treats away. You know, if they're harder to get to, kind of like hide and seek, if they're harder to get to, they're harder to find, you're gonna go, that's too much work. Typically, think about the things you just grab. They're probably pretty visible pretty quick. You're not probably because if you hunt too long, then you just kind of feel like a piggy. So you're going, I don't want to feel like that, so I'm not gonna hunt too long.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start doing hide and seek for you for for treats around here.
SPEAKER_01:I don't have treats all the time, just sometimes.
SPEAKER_00:That's what I'm gonna do with catch treats.
SPEAKER_01:Sometimes a Twizzler talks to me, and I gotta I gotta grab one. Um, I love Twizzlers. Man, um so we have to keep them where we can see them. Um, convenience. What's whatever's easiest wins. Um so uh like if those things are already cut up, like if you're thinking about Renee salad, that's kind of already all ready. Um if it's already kind of pre-cut, pre-cooked, um, you'll be able to put all those together pretty quick and have what you want. Um, grabbing go snacks, you know, are they already ready to go? Can I grab it and go? For me, um Kim makes my burritos, so literally they're wrapped in uh wax paper. I grab two of them in the morning, go, ready to go. So easy. Now, if I had to decide what am I gonna make for my breakfast this morning, chances are I would be buying Jimmy Dean's uh sandwiches that you just put in the microwave. I mean, soup, something easy. Um, so it kind of makes it so much easier when it's more convenient. Um, so the goal is really to make healthier easier um than unhealthy. Um, and then we have some default options. So, you know, you have default options. If nothing else, I'm having this for breakfast. If nothing else, I'm having this for lunch. If nothing else, I'm having this for a snack. Um, and this is kind of where we start talking about um recipes and dinners like that. Um, because the challenge is sometimes, well, what do I fix? I don't know what to do. I don't know, um, you know, and it's a whole process, it's a whole planning process that can be. Um, and so the goal always is what we do is how do we make it easier? And so that's kind of what somebody had mentioned is how can we share those recipes? Maybe they're not the healthiest, but they get us in the habit of um having a plan. Um, that's why I tell people all the time when they say they come to me and ask about eating and all that. I say, well, first of all, we got to log it and see what calories you're taking in. I don't care what you're taking in. Um, even if you're taking in 3,000, 4,000 calories, great. Once you do that, then we can start looking at it. So the thing is, um, once you get in the habit of planning, then if there's some meals like, I think I could make that a little healthier. I could think I could make that a little better. And then so you're already in the habit of planning, so now you can start tweaking a recipe here and there. Um, because right now the stress is just what do I eat? Um, so we got to take care of that before we go, well, you should really eat six ounces of chicken, you know, 33 grams of carbs, and you should probably have a couple tablespoons of healthy fat. That's too much work when you can't even figure out what I'm gonna have for supper. So the planning is is first. Um, and so that's why that is a great idea. How do I make it simpler to make it happen? Um, and then um our goal is too is to make unhelpful behaviors harder. So we don't buy trigger foods. What are some things um like Twizzlers? I had got twizzlers at Christmas. I mean, I still I mean one bag there's they're about half gone, but um again, that's that I see it there and I go, I just want one. Well, one turns into two and one turns into three, and and might and it might turn into one and a couple trips back to the refrigerator get one. Um, so I know those are kind of triggers for me. Um maybe um you store them farther away. You have to hide and seek. Um you don't eat from the bag because there's an endless supply in the bag. Um and then um don't snack standing because food, I mean, your bottomless pit seems like when you're standing and snacking, especially from an open bag. Before you know it, that open bag that you bought, the family size, is half full. Um, and somehow you found that chip because every bag has a chip that has the extra seasoning, has the more flavoring, all of those things that you go, I gotta find that taste again. So, again, you're being manipulated to keep going to get more because you had that experience, that flavor experience. You go, I gotta have that again. Um, so don't do that. Um so if we um can create less friction, in other words, we can make those unhealthy behaviors harder, we can start to see bigger changes. And then when it comes to our social environment, you know, we share goals maybe with family. We ask for support, we eat slower around others, we normalize balanced eating. That's what we're trying to do here is we normalize balanced eating. There's no shortcuts, there's no do this, don't do that. It's really about how do we normalize that? And and what happens, you know, when we share goals with family, then they kind of know what we're doing when we're sitting down to a meal, and they don't go, oh, you're on a diet again. And then you can share your goals, you can ask for support, those things like that. Um, because when you're in a house and everybody's not on the same page, it is so much harder. But so much harder. So we can replace uh willpower with some design. So, how do we do that? We can say, because a lot of times, how much how many times do we say I'll try harder? I'll do better tomorrow, I'll try harder. Sometimes it's just saying, I'll design smarter, I'll design in my environment, I'll design those things to be better, to be smarter. So maybe it's you know, I'll stop. You're saying, I'll stop snacking at night, but instead you say I'll eat enough protein at dinner. Because there probably, if you're hungry at night, there's something attached to that. Is it you're not getting enough food? Is it emotional? There's something there. You know, instead of saying I'll avoid sweets, so you know, I'll keep fruit or yogurt ready. So you're not avoiding, you're just grabbing something else. You know, I'll stop eating junk, and then you just don't bring that stuff home. You don't buy it in the grocery store. You hide it, you do some things to design that environment around you. Um so it and one of the things again, we talk about identity a lot, that's how we approach it, it's how our perspective is. So we can change how we say things. We can say, I am someone who uses willpower, I am not someone that uses willpower to control food, because willpower is only in the moment. So say, I'm not someone who uses willpower to control food, I am someone who designs a life that supports me. So you think about that in all of life, um. I am someone who designs a life that supports me. What does that mean? That means I've um done the best I could on my environment. I've changed those things. Um because then it then it supports me. Um because if it's if you can't do some things in your own home to help support you, um how hard is it gonna be when you go out into the rest of the world? It's gonna be very challenging. So, you know, this helps create empowerment instead of shameful, like I just I'm not strong enough, I don't have willpower, I always fail, all of those things. So then as you look around, and kind of this is the challenge, as you look around your your house, kitchen, pantry, wherever it is, what foods you have out that are easy to eat? Just kind of audit, just look around. What's easiest to eat? How can I change that environment? When do I notice? When do I notice my willpower is less? Is it after a stressful day? Is it after a stressful conversation? Where when is it strongest? And then, okay, well, that works really good. And when it is it weakest, how can I start changing some things when it's the weakest? And how can I alter that? Because maybe sometimes we can't always change our the stress that goes on. We can change how we manage it, but we can't always change what what happens throughout the day. But we can control our environment in our house and what what's around. So maybe it is you know what's what's easiest to get to, how can I change that environment? You know, maybe you move a snap tour, maybe you have the pre-portioned snacks, maybe it's you only eat at the table, maybe you change your grocery list. So you can change one of those environments. It doesn't have to be your whole environment. And we talk about if you if your goal in life is to change the world, first you have to change your world before you can change the world, and so you have to change your world, your environment that is around you before you can go out and change anything else, and that that makes for a big win. So that's really the challenge is just kind of audit when is my willpower strongest, when's it weakest, and what are some things I can look around and I can change? Planning my food, moving food around, having some healthier snacks, prepping a little bit, where can I do that? Um then just start working on one of those, not all of them, just one of them. Any thoughts, comments, or questions? And so, and think about uh what would be three of your recipes that you eat on a weekly or every other week basis that you really like, that's some of your favorites, and jot those down, and so then when we figure out how we can combine them all, then you can just send them and it'll be good. And then everybody, I mean if everybody, let's see, just right now there is 12 people on here. Think about if everybody had three recipes, quick math, I think that's 36. You would have 36. Now, it you might not like all the food. So, you know, even if we said half, whatever half of 36 is 17, 18, 18, you'd have 18 new meals that you could try out. And if you just fixed a few a week, that'd last you a few weeks.
SPEAKER_00:So quick and easy. Quick and easy. We do too. And I forgot. Yeah, what do you have? Egg roll in the ball. Egg roll in a bowl. Like a coleslaw max sausage, soy sauce. I actually got my liquid aminos from Renee the other day. That's so good. Yeah, interesting. And my family likes it. I just forgot when she said it. I was like, oh yeah, I can make that too.
SPEAKER_01:And and so I'm I'm seeing this collaboration eventually become an M2B fitness cookbook. I think so. Just saying.
SPEAKER_00:We're working on it.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, just saying. So, but if you have any questions, thoughts, or comments, or great ideas, and thank you for joining us on Healthy Huddle. We'll look forward to seeing you right here next time on Healthy Huddle.