The Mind Body Project
The Mind Body Project
Sit & Talk: From Problems To Possibilities: How Mindset Shapes Outcomes
We share a simple image—a half-full cup held at arm’s length—to show how small problems grow heavy when we grip them too long. Using the acronym P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S., we reframe stress into strategy, turn setbacks into lessons, and practice letting go instead of wearing out.
• Problems as predictors of success based on response
• Life is difficult as progressive overload for the mind
• Reframing problems as opportunities to act
• Noticing blessings that often arrive in disguise
• Extracting lessons to grow, not just survive
• Accepting problems are everywhere and relative
• Reading the messages inside setbacks
• Believing everything is solvable with time and help
If you need anything or have any thoughts or comments, just text me or let me know
Welcome back to Walk and Talk or Sit and Talk, actually. So thank you so much for joining us. Each week we meet up here for a little conversation about mental conditioning, mental wellness. We talk about um we join our live call each week on a different topic and then um share that with our live call. And then if they have questions, thoughts, comments, we discuss those. But just uh we'll go to the live call. Thank you for so much for joining us on Sit and Talk. But we are gonna talk about problems. It is definitely the one thing you know that all of us probably 100% have in common because can anybody say they've never had a problem? No, probably not. And and after we're gonna talk about really, since we all have problems, we're gonna talk about how do we let those problems go? How do they so we're gonna talk about some different ways that we let them go? So I don't know if there's this thing, I've seen it on TikTok of different reels, but but and and it's really a good example of sometimes problems. Somebody's holding, maybe, maybe you're at home and or at work and you get, or if you have a watered mug or something like that, and you hold it out. You get a glass, a half fill it with water, or you have your water mug and you hold it out. And you hold it out. I say, you know, you got to hold out for a minute. And chances are you'd go, that's no big deal. This is light, it's easy. I work out, I can do it. I say, okay, then hold it for 10 minutes. And chances are your arm would get a little bit more shaky, and you go, I I I can do this. And then I might say, well, hold it for 24 hours. And then you'd probably notice over that time it got harder and harder and harder and harder until eventually, not sure when the time would be, but you would drop the glass, your arm would go down, you would no longer be able to hold it at that same position. And that's the same thing with our problems. Sometimes our problems might be in only a half full cup of water, or it might be something that feels really light, and we can, and it doesn't seem like a big deal. But when we hold on to it over time and we continue to hold on to it, those problems get heavier and heavier. They get harder and harder to hold on to. They get they they wear us down, they make us tired, they exhaust us, all those things. So what may seem like a little problem eventually becomes a big problem and and can cause a big problem. So we're gonna talk about how do we let those go. And and oh as we talk about these different things, the interesting thing is you notice I didn't say get rid of the problem. I said let it go. Sometimes the problem may not go away, but how we approach it and the different things we're gonna talk about is how we let those problems go. It's kind of like sometimes our circumstances don't change, but when we change, everything changes. So we're gonna kind of well, as we talk about problems, we're gonna break it down into each letter of the word problems has something with it. I'm an anagram, is that right? Yes, yes, an anagram. Acronym. Acronym, acronym, yes, acronym. I always get them confused. So acronym. What's an anagram? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a teacher. But this one's an acronym. Acronym. Okay, acronym. So we're gonna talk, we're gonna break it down letter by letter. So problems, the P. The P with problems are predicting success or failure. So how do they do that? How do they predict success or failure? And it's a lot of times it's how do we deal with the problem will determine if we're successful or we fail at it. How many times do we or do you know people that have all kinds of problems and they keep unsuccessfully getting past those problems? And you know that because they're recurring problems. That's the same problem over and over and over. Maybe, maybe, you know, it's it's that job. Well, they didn't like me. Well, the next job, well, well, they didn't they didn't treat me right. Well, the next job, well, they didn't appreciate my how hard of worker I was. And the next job, well, they just couldn't pay what I was really worth. And it sounds like our children. It sounds like our children, yes. But but then you you notice you start to see a pattern. And you always have to think about that. You have to think about, is there a pattern pattern here? Because that problem can sometimes how we it can be a predictor of success or failure. Because don't we know some people that seem to have a lot of problems, but when you talk to them, oh yeah, you know, they move past it, they use it to their advantage, they they use it as a springboard or something to be successful. So, so that doesn't necessarily mean uh when we talk about that of being a predictor of success or failure, that doesn't necessarily mean that the outcome will be successful. So, how how can how can it be a predictor of success or failure if it's not really tied into the outcome of being successful? Your reaction. Your reaction, exactly. Even if the outcome is not what you wanted, it's a negative outcome, it's completely opposite, it's the reaction to that. And we're gonna talk about some of those, how what type of reactions you can have, but that does really have a bigger impact whether it's a predictor of success or failure. It doesn't mean the problem was success or failure, it means that you were a problem or you were a success or failure in how you handled the problem, whether it was successfully solved or not. So the R is just a reminder that life is difficult. Because at the beginning I asked, is there anybody here that has never had a single problem? Not one problem, and nobody said, Yes, that's me. I live a just a wonderful life with never a problem. So problems are a reminder that life is difficult, life is challenging, and it's one thing that none of us escape from. You know, we the thing about difficult things is it's it's kind of like the weights. What happens when we lift a 20-pound weight? We get stronger and we can lift a 25-pound weight. What do we do after we lift that for a while? Then we can get stronger, we can lift a 30, 40, we can just move on up, and we can do that anywhere in when we talk about physical ability. When we when we it's called fancy fanciness, it's called progressive overload. So when we progressive overload our body, we get stronger, we get faster, we get fitter. It's progressive overload. Well, the interesting thing about problems is progressive overload. And progressive overload, the same as it does to the body, progressive overload does the same thing to the mind. If we continually have progressive overload, we get stronger and stronger and stronger. But progressive overload means giving it more than it can handle because the body will adapt, the mind will adapt, we will adapt to those things. So we need to look at our problems as it's just a reminder that life is difficult. And if you know, all of you are probably here because you want to get better, right? I would hope. My assumption is that you you're here because you want to get better, and so you're here because you want to get better because you know that in the coming maybe minutes, maybe days, maybe hours, maybe weeks, maybe months, that you will have some problems and you will have that progressive overload. How do I overcome that? How do I become stronger? Because again, we look at life and we look at different things. We go, life is tough, but I can be tougher. And that's what progressive overload, that's what when life is difficult, that's what reminds us. And that's really what problems are. It's just challenges. The problems don't define us. It's what defines us is a response to the problem. That's that's what defines us, not the problem, because we all have problems, but we've all known people that you know might have the same problems. Maybe it's in a relationship, maybe it's in work, and one person responds to it one way, another one responds to it differently. I mean, you've probably seen that meme where where two sons grow up, the sons of an alcoholic. One turns into an alcoholic and one doesn't become that. It the problem didn't define them, it was a response to it. And I think sometimes is what we do, and when when we talk about this as a reminder of life is difficult, is what we do is the problem we had in the past, we hang on to that thing and let that define us. Well, you know, I'm the one that had fill in the blank. Well, you know, I'm the one that went through blank. That is when we begin to let it define us. That then we then people, oh well, you know that person, that was the problem. That's defining us. And it's really our response to the problem that we want that to define us, who we are, not the problem. So as we move on, and we we think about those problems, and we come to the O, which are opportunities. Have you ever looked at a problem as an opportunity to become better? Because really, it really is just an opportunity to improve, an opportunity to have a different perspective. You know, what if you you said at the end of the day, you came home here in a little bit, and somebody in your house says, Well, how was your day? You said, Oh, I had I had all these problems at work, or I had all these problems with these patients or these people or whatever. What if you changed that and you went home and said, You wouldn't believe the amount of opportunities I had. The opportunities to improve. Maybe it was communication with a spouse, and maybe you had an opportunity to approach it in a different way. Maybe it was with a coworker, you had an opportunity to approach them in a different way. Maybe it was a client, you had an opportunity to adjust the situation. So I think our our response would be different if you if we were to say, I had some opportunities. Because it it we really get, if if I came to you and say, I have a problem for you, you'd be like, Oh, great, that's what I need, another problem. If I come to you and I say, Hey, I have an opportunity for you. What's your when I say that, you think, this is going to be good. This could be something that could change my life. This could make a difference. I mean, if if if you've ever been in any multi-level marketing companies, that's that that's I have this amazing opportunity for you. Let me show you our our finance plan. You know, it's got this is the amazing opportunity. And what if they came to you and said, I have this problem for you? We have this crappy product, but it, but I mean, the problem is getting people under you, and if you get them under you, you'll make millions of dollars. But that's a big problem. You'd be like, I don't want all that headache. But they come to an opportunity, and all of us are guilty. All of us said, sign me up. I am ready for it. Because we approach it with opportunity. And so the a challenge there is how can we look at our problems as opportunities? Because a problem will make us better. It is an opportunity to improve for whatever problem it is. Think about some problems you've had in your past in the past, big, small, whatever they are. Were you able to improve after them? Hopefully, that would be the goal. Otherwise, you're creating the same problem over and over again, and that's a problem. So then we get to the B blessings. So many of you would say, when Gracie was a little younger, we'd say things to her, and and her always, the thing she'd always say was, wait, what? It like you had to repeat it. And so the kids would always say, Gracie, come on, you know, like get get it together. And so when we when I say problems and blessings, you think, wait, what? How is that possible? You know, if we think about problems as it sometimes problems are devastating. It's more than just a flat tire, or like in home alone when the alarm didn't go off and they were late for the flight. Sometimes our problems are really big. Sometimes our our problems are life altering. They're they're a change in in our family, in our job, in ourselves. I mean, they can be life-altering. So, and how can they turn out to be blessings? And I think sometimes it it can be a challenge sometimes to find those blessings, but I really believe that if we look at it from a different perspective, we can sometimes see those blessings. And again, it may not be within the week of it, within a month, within a year, it may be five years. And we may have to work through those things. But there is an opportunity there to say, wow, those that that was a blessing. And sometimes it's a blessing in disguise. And you can say, well, sometimes bad things, how how can that be a blessing? And that thing that happened may not be the blessing, but maybe how you changed and how the things around you changed could have been the blessing. How how did I how did I take that opportunity? What did I do with it? How did I go through it? How do I look at it? What did I take from it? You know, sometimes we have to work hard, but again, does anything come easy? If we want to improve, is improvement easy? Have you ever improved and it be like, oh my gosh, this is super easy? No, no, probably not. So, in order to improve and have those problems and then an opportunity for improvement, it's hard. And so sometimes it's hard to find that blessing in it. And have you ever thought about why, you know, you have to stop at five red lights? Have you ever thought, you know, why did I get a flat tire? Do you ever think why did my alarm go off 10 minutes late? Maybe there was something there that you were supposed to miss, or maybe there is there's something there that you're supposed to meet, person, place, thing, whatever it is, maybe there's a reason for all of that. So we can look at it as what's the blessing I'm supposed to gain from this. And again, if you keep asking yourself that, again, you're gonna be looking for it. If if you lose your keys, what ends up usually happening? Hopefully. You find them. You find them. Why? Because you're looking. Because you're looking for them. Exactly. Cassie the other day, she lost her keys. She'd came in during an interjate's class and she'd started a car from her phone, or she she had gone out there to start a car, it wouldn't start, so she started her phone or used her phone to start a car, and then all of the ladies for InterJ's class was looking around for her, asking her all these questions. She couldn't find them anywhere here. And she said, Well, I don't know where they are because I can start the car with my phone. So she went home and her keys were right on her desk. She found them, why? Because she was looking for them. If she just said, I don't know where they're at, chances are she may never found them. And so that's kind of the conversation we have to change with ourselves is if we're looking for them, we'll begin to find them. And if you ever lost your keys, sometimes you can find them really quick. And sometimes it takes a little while. Um, that can go with anything. Cal the other day, a couple weeks ago, locked himself in our bedroom and Kim couldn't find the key. Didn't find it until she started decluttering, and voila, there it was. So we will always find it now. And and so now we looked at that as you know, she taped it, and now we know. So we typically will find things we're looking for. And and the L is lessons. A problem will continue to be a problem unless we look at it to say, what lesson can I learn from this? I think a lot of times with lessons, we just go, if I can just get through this, if I can just get through this problem on the other side. But when we start looking at opportunities and we start looking at problems as blessings, then we change the words we're using and say, not don't let me go through this. Let me grow through this. Because if we just go through it, chances are we're probably gonna do that again. That's gonna become a problem again. But if by looking at it as an opportunity or a blessing, we can begin to grow through that and see, what am I supposed to learn here? What am I supposed to what kind of blessing is this? What kind of opportunity do I have to grow? So we we grow through it. And and and sometimes we might go through the same lesson a couple times before we view it as a lesson. We may it may happen one time and go, well, that that's just that really stinks. And then I think we have to be self-aware enough so when it happens again, we go, hmm, this happened again. What am I supposed to learn from this lesson? I had, you know, we might say, I had a friend and and we're no longer friends, and I found this new friend and we're great, and then man, she ditched me again. Then we begin to go, what am I supposed to learn from this? What's the lesson? Maybe it's it's how you pick your friends, maybe it's the things you're asking of friends, the things you're doing with to friends. We have to look, say, what are the lessons and how can I grow through it? Because if we're growing, that means we're improving, we're making changes, we're doing things differently. When we grow from a baby to how tall you are now, you had to grow a little at a time. Because otherwise, if you didn't grow, some of you're sitting at a desk, some of you are cooking, some of you are driving, you wouldn't be able to drive your current car because your little legs would be too short. Your countertop, you wouldn't be able to reach it because you'd be too short. You you couldn't touch it. So, all those things, if we didn't grow, we wouldn't be able to do the things we're currently doing. So we have to find out, you know, look at those lessons. Where do we get those from? And then the E in problems is everywhere. Like I said at the beginning, it's one thing we all have in common is we have problems, and problems are everywhere. Everywhere we look Look, our problems. We look to the person next to us, they have problems. They look at us, we have problems. We look at the world, they have problems. We go to church, there's problems there. There's problems everywhere. And the funny thing about problems is it's just like heavy. If you say you have a problem and I say I have a problem, do we both have a problem? Yes. Yes. It doesn't matter the size of that problem. Each of us still have a problem. Sometimes we'll meet those friends and say, Well, let me tell you about my problem. We call it in our household, we call it stealing your thunder. So if somebody says, you know, complains about something and then you try to top them, then you just stole my thunder. So sometimes we'll act like we got a thunderbolt and throw it off because you just stole my thunder. And sometimes that's what we do. And but they are everywhere. We all have them. It doesn't matter the size, what, who, it's still a problem. And a problem is a problem. It's a relative term. Everybody's got it. So they're everywhere. We can just look to the right, look to the left, look in the mirror, and we'll see a problem. And so they are everywhere. I mean, that's just part of life because life is difficult. And then the M is messages. Problems send us signals. Sometimes maybe it's because we're supposed to do something different. Why do we, you know, getting laid off from factory work? I was like, maybe, maybe I'm supposed to be doing something different. Maybe I'm not supposed to be working in a factory. Maybe that's just not meant for me. Let me see what else I can do. Maybe it's meant for us to become stronger. Maybe it's a message say, maybe this is a a weakness that I have. I one of the ladies that during circuit or treadmill the other day, she came in and one of the first things she said, because we had I had mentioned it one day about be careful what you pray for. And she said, you know, I prayed for faith. And she said, Man, I've had nothing but tests and problems. And and so it's it's almost you say, Well, what signal are those problems showing? They might be saying, I'm supposed to become stronger in my faith, my belief, and what I'm supposed to be doing. Maybe a problem is getting down on the ground with grandkids. What message is that saying? Maybe I need to bump it up in the gym. Maybe I need to uh do some yoga, maybe I need to do some things. So what message is the problem sending you? What do we need to look at? And then the S is the most important thing to remember that every problem is solvable, right? Everything is figure outable. Maybe you just haven't thought of the solution, maybe you haven't seen the solution, maybe you haven't been uh exposed to the solution, maybe you haven't met the person that can help you with the solution. But when we think there is no way to solve this problem, there is a way to solve every problem. I think it was Henry Ford that wanted a V8. I think it was Ford, but anyhow, he kept going to his engineers and telling him what he wanted. They said, There's no way possible, there's no way possible, we can't do it, it's not possible. And he said, keep working on it, keep working on it, keep working on it. It's not possible, we can't do it, it's never been done before. All these things over and over for months and months and months and months and months. And finally, one day his engineers came to him and said, We think we got it. Because they kept working on it. Everything is solvable. Man wanted to fly. Now we have planes. We needed wheels, we now have wheels. Everything, every invention we have is because there was a problem. Everything was an iPhone thought of during the caveman days when they were just happy to get fire. But now that's been a lot of years because they didn't have electricity, they have all kinds of stuff. They didn't have Marconi with the radio waves, they didn't have all that kind of stuff. So it took time, but everything is solvable. So it may take time. And sometimes we have to understand that maybe it's not going to be solvable where we see it. Maybe it's going to be solvable, and we might be a little bit unaware how it was solved. But everything is solvable, everything is figure-outable. And the interesting thing about if you're here today, that means so far you've made it through life 100% alive. You've made it every day because you're here. 100% guaranteed. So you've come through everything that you've been through so far. You have come through. You're physically standing there, sitting there, driving there, whatever it is. You have come through it. So it is solvable. So when we look at problems, we want to look at it as it's a predictor of success or failure, how a response to it is. It's a reminder, it's an opportunity, it's a blessing, it's a learning lesson. They're everywhere. And then what message am I supposed to get from it? So, really, the the challenge is think of that glass of water. How long do you want to hold on to? Because it will get a challenge to hold on to. So if you can use these, you can get rid of that water faster. You don't have to hold on to it, you don't have to put in your backpack, you don't have to put in your little Stanley carrier thing that carries it. You don't have to do that. So the challenge is really like to really focus on could you look at your could you change the wording? And instead of problems, you use opportunities. What opportunity? I had some great opportunities today. So when you have a conversation tonight, or you share your next problem, say, hey, I want to share an opportunity with you I had today, and then share about what that was. And watch how your your language starts to change when you discuss it as opportunity versus a problem. So that's the challenge. Any thoughts, comments, or questions about problems? No. All right. So my hope is that you have many opportunities and many blessings to learn some amazing lessons and realize that everything is solvable. So thank y'all. And if you need anything or have any thoughts or comments, just text me or let me know. Thank y'all. And thank you for joining us tonight on Sit and Talk. We look forward to seeing you right here next time on Sit and Talk.