Healthy Huddle: Food FOMO

We talk through food FOMO and why we eat just to avoid feeling left out, even when we are not hungry. We share a simple filter to spot the difference between a treat you truly want and a bite you will regret later. 
• how fear of missing out shifts from events to eating 
• scarcity cues that trigger urgency and impulse choices 
• the “trash can effect” and why groups change what we order 
• vacation and holiday eating tied to memories not hunger 
• anticipatory regret and “permission thinking” that pushes overeating 
• the real cost of food FOMO: stuffed, dissatisfied, regretful self-talk 
• a four-question FOMO filter to decide intentionally 
• replacing FOMO with JOMO by choosing on purpose 
you better join us for walk and talk or sit and talk

https://aarondegler.com/

Transcript

Welcome And The Balance Goal

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Healthy Huddle. Thank you for taking a little time to join us this week. If this is your first time here to Healthy Huddle, each week we join our live call that we talk about a different food topic because we're really focused on a balanced lifestyle when it comes to food, not diets or restriction, but really life is about balance. So we talk about how do we make that balance when it comes to food. So let's join our live call. Because we don't want anybody to miss out and have FOMO. Everybody knows what FOMO is, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

It is fear of missing out. What do we what do we usually attribute FOMO to? Like if somebody's going to do something and we don't get to go. Did you ever have FOMO as a kid when your friends went to do something?

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Yes. And you didn't invite and you didn't get invited.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Or if you didn't get to play the video game at one time.

What Food FOMO Looks Like

Scarcity Triggers And Limited Edition Hype

SPEAKER_00 1:10

That would be correct. I had FOMO a lot in school because I always lived in I always lived in Bowie and went to school in either Bellevue or Henrietta. So I'd come back to school after the weekend, and um, I don't know if I'd call them friends, but all the people I went to school with, they would talk about all the stuff they did, and then I had FOMO about all the stuff I was missing out on. I wasn't, I couldn't get to do those. So I think even as adults, when we have FOMO, missing out on a fun event or a gathering or a get-together, I think we've all experienced FOMO in in some form or fashion. So we're going to talk about food FOMO. And how do we have food FOMO? Do you ever have you ever gone and done anything with friends? Maybe it's a group of friends, because you didn't want to be the only one not going. And then next time you got together, everybody would be talking about it, but you wouldn't be because you didn't go. Have you ever gone just because you didn't want to be left out? Not because you wanted to go. Probably, maybe, because we don't want to miss out on that fun time, and then nothing worse than your group of friends getting together later and having all the inside jokes about what happened, and you're over there left out like an outsider. So sometimes we say yes to doing something, even though we don't really want to, because we don't want to have FOMO, which is sometimes what happens with food. Doesn't mean that we're necessarily hungry or that we want it, but we have FOMO about it. We have the fear of maybe missing out, and we have the fear of being left out. You know, when it comes to food, do you necessarily want to eat at dose? But then everybody else is going. And you go, well, I don't want to miss out on that fun because the next day they're going to talk about it, and I don't want to miss out. So you have the fear of being left out. Sometimes when it comes to food, you have the fear of not trying something. Maybe you don't really want it, but you're like, I may never get to try this again. Same thing, might not have that opportunity again. And so we all have from time to time, probably just as we've experienced FOMA with friends and family, we have the same thing with food. Because FOMO, why does it happen when it comes to food, too? You know, our brain might say this is rare. It might say, This is limited. What happens if you see something that says limited edition or limit, especially the infomercials, limited supply? You only have this long to buy, only this many available. Have you ever bought anything on Amazon? And in little red print, it says only five left.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Yes. And and you know there's still a gazillion and one left in the warehouse.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

There just don't tell me guys.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Because you're buying you're buying it now, right? Because you think there's five left and now there's four, because I bought one.

unknown 4:35

Yeah.

Social Pressure And The Trash Can Effect

Vacation Eating And Holiday Traditions

SPEAKER_00 4:37

But again, that's what our our mind tells us. Oh, I better get it before somebody else does it. Kind of like when we see those, why do you buy, as we've talked about before, why do you buy those cookies and cakes you see on Facebook? Only two dozen left. I won't have them long. Maybe it's an Easter special, maybe it's a St. Patrick's Day special, maybe it's a Tuesday at 155 special. Don't miss out. And, you know, because we think this isn't gonna happen again, I gotta have it. And so it urges us to eat more and buy more sometimes when it comes to food. So our the the scarcity that our mind gives us, the FOMO, it increases your urgency. That's why they do why do they do a little countdown clock sometimes on infomercials? Because time is is getting low. I don't have much time. I don't know. Because sometimes what do we do? The more time we're given, do we take more time to try and decide? I got plenty of time. I don't have to do that until later. But funny how is when we have a due date or uh have it in by 5 p.m., we make sure it's done. So scarcity, scarcity of time, of product, of whatever it is, of enjoyment, it makes it very urgent. I mean it increases the urgency. And as we've talked about before, when it comes to food and being in gatherings, as humans, we're wired for tribal survival. So that means when everybody orders a drink, appetizers, dessert, our brain says, participate because you're gonna miss out on something, because obviously they know something you don't. I heard this John Gordon the other day, he was talking about the trash can effect, and he was walking around his neighborhood. He's a he's a writer and different things, but he was he was walking around his neighborhood, and he said all of the trash cans were out. He said, So I was thinking, oh, I need to go get my trash can and put it out. He said, but the thing was the trash collection wasn't for another two days. But because everybody else's trash can was out, he began to think, wait a minute, did I miss something? Is something wrong? Did I mess up? What's going on? And he said, the reason everybody else put out their trash cans is because a couple other people put out their trash cans. And so they had FOMO, fear of missing trash day because maybe they missed something. Maybe they didn't hear something or know something. So he calls it the trash can effect. And we do the same. Oh, if everybody else is putting out their trash can, I must, I must need to too. If everybody's ordering a drink, I'm I'm kind of trying to watch what I eat or my sugar, but I'll get a skinny margarita instead because I still want to participate. Because maybe they know, maybe they're not going to have margaritas at those chilies anymore. So maybe they know what I don't know. So I have to participate. And we do that too, so we don't, because sometimes if we don't eat with other people, what are they, what do they do? They give us funny looks and then say, oh, are you not joining us? So we feel like, oh, they're gonna think I'm not participating. I'm not part of the team, I'm not part of the family, I'm not part of the celebration. I'm just gonna sit over here and go, oh, y'all go ahead, y'all chubby's go ahead and eat. I'm just gonna sit over here and be judgy. So I better participate because I don't want them to think that. Even though I'm not hungry because I already had a snack before I came, so I wouldn't overeat and I didn't really want to eat that stuff, but yet we still go ahead and do that. And and and sometimes our FOMO happens because we're on vacation. And what if I don't, I mean, I don't know when I'm getting on vacation again. So I need to have, I need to try. I went to an all-inclusive resort, but I'm gonna try to drink all their drinks and make them run out of drinks because I may not get back here for a while. Because with gas going up, I may not be able to afford a plane ticket back.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

Well, you may need to get your money's worth.

Anticipatory Regret And Permission Thinking

SPEAKER_00 9:00

You may need to get your money's worth. Tell them to have a heavy hand, keep on pouring. Maybe it's a holiday food. You feel, I'm gonna miss out. If I don't get this, I'm not gonna have it again. And those are real things. I mean, because we why do we eat that? It may be after a big meal and we're not hungry for it, but we have it because we think I may not get this again. What if I miss out on this opportunity? And it makes us, and it's not so much the food that we are afraid of missing out on. A lot of times it's the moment or the memory. Because sometimes a lot of times we attach a food to a memory. The way our parents, our mom maybe made something, or grandmother made something, or it's it's really more about how did it taste when we all got together, or it really brings back a memory more so than what you wanted to eat. Kim, with her mom used to make Christmas candy, and so then the girls, as they got old enough to cook, they'd go down there and they'd all make Christmas candy together. And we'd eat it. Why? Because one, it was good, but also it was about more about a memory, about when you taste it, go, oh, I remember the Christmas of this year, and we're all sitting around and oh, it was so good. And so we have a not all we don't really fear missing out on the food, we miss out, we fear missing out on the memory. What if I don't get that memory? And and then too, we when we have the FOMO of food, we have anticipatory regret. So, have you ever heard of anticipatory anxiety?

SPEAKER_01 10:47

I coined to that.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

I'm just asking if everybody's heard it.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Well, it should be all about by now.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

It should be, but so I'll go back to anticipatory anxiety. So, anticipate anticipatory anxiety is you start to get anxiety just anticipating what's coming up. You didn't go to the event, you didn't go to the thing, you didn't do the thing yet. You just have anxiety on it because you're thinking about it. So it's anticipating the event before you ever get to the event. We're gonna have a great discussion next week on the past and emotions and how everything's tied to it. So walk and talk and sit and talk is gonna be really good next week. So, anticipatory regret is we're already anticipatory. I'm gonna regret if I don't, if I don't eat that pie and feet and have that feeling and that memory, I'm gonna regret it. So we're already psyching ourselves up for the regret that we're gonna have. And we haven't even gotten there yet. Um, we're already feeling bad for ourselves because you're just I mean, you're just gonna regret that if you don't eat that. So again, permission thinking says, go ahead and eat it because you're gonna regret it. And so, so what do we do? We eat it. Because why do we eat it? It's not because of the food, it's because we're trying to prevent future regret. Because we think I'm gonna regret this. So let me go ahead and take care of that, and I'll go ahead and eat it so that way I don't have that regret. I mean, then you eat it. I mean, you couldn't eat just one, so you maybe had two pieces, and then you regret eating so much, and so you still have regret, right? So it's really about what regret do you want? And so how does how does those that FOMO of food show up in our everyday life? It shows up, I'll just try a bite, just a bite. Well, everyone else is it's vacation, holidays. It's only once a year. I don't want to be the weird healthy one. Because sometimes if you try to eat healthy, you're the odd man out, odd woman out, but they they think, oh, you're on we we can't eat around you because you're trying to be healthy. And so what do we do sometimes? Around other people, we we'll eat unhealthy because we don't want them to think that we're the weird healthy ones, even though they could be the ones that are on all the medications, have trouble getting around, have trouble doing the things, and we're worried that they're gonna think we're the weird ones, but yet we still do it because it's family, we don't want to hurt their feelings. And and even though we've told them a gajillion times you need to exercise, they say, well, and too much pain and all the things, which they don't understand. It's from the food they're eating and lack of exercise.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

But really the health nuts, huh?

SPEAKER_00 13:42

The health nut. The health nut. Yeah, you're the nut. Yeah, you're the nut. That's the funniest thing. I mean, if you're at a at at maybe somebody's house and they have a whole counter full of medicine bottles, you're the nut for trying to eat healthy food. You're the nut. Exercise. And exercise. You're just obsessive with that exercise. You went to the gym five days this week. You're obsessive. Always looking at that that that smartwatch, trying to figure out how many rings you close, just obsessive with it. You nut.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Wait, you already gotten there? Why why do you have to keep going?

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Haven't you already gotten there?

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Have a heart attack. You're gonna die. Yeah, all the things.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Yeah, we we can't say that. We can't say you're gonna have a heart attack, you're gonna die. You need to move. You're gonna swallow up like a toad frog and and pop. We can't say all that.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

You need you need this you need to stop and be sedentary. You're gonna die out there on the road.

unknown 14:40

Yeah.

The Hidden Costs Of Food FOMO

SPEAKER_00 14:41

And that's really what they're saying. You should you need to just stop and sit because surely that's gonna be better for you than than moving around and trying to eat healthy. I mean, you nut. Going through that fad of eating healthy. So, so what does that what does FOMO cost us? Because you know, everything has a cost, everything we do has a cost. Whether we realize it or not, everything has a cost.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

It could cost you your dream.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

It could cost you your dream.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

You could sell out right then.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

You could sell out. Because this week's walk and talk and sit and talk is about dream for sale.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

And you could sell it, and you could sell it.

The Four Question FOMO Filter

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Many of you are thinking, I'm not selling my dream, but you better join us. You better join us for walk and talk or sit and talk because you're selling it every single day. So, what what happens? The cost of food or the cost of FOMO for food. It's eating foods that we don't really love. We're just trying to be part of the group. We overeat beyond comfort because I'm not getting this till next year, and I could regret that. So I'm gonna have two pieces. I'm gonna store it up in my belly like a chipmunk. But unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. So then we we feel stuffed instead of satisfied. I always laugh when we have treadmill classes that are roly poly. I think of a roly poly and rolling up the hill and down the hill. Um, and I think about that's what we do when we stuff ourselves. We're just a roly poly, we're just rolling around, and the cost of our FOMO for food also is regret afterwards, what we did. It's also that what we tell ourselves, I blew it, and then that's a whole mental thing that we have to deal with. The thing about the FOMO, our food food is we didn't really fully enjoy it. We thought we were gonna have FOMO and we're so worried about it, but then we do it and we're still upset with ourselves. So it's kind of which would you rather? Would you rather have the regret of not doing it but feel good about yourself, or the regret of eating too much or doing it, and then go, why'd I do that? So you have to sometimes we choose our regret. So we're gonna talk uh real quick about a FOMO filter. A FOMO filter, fear of missing out, filter because we love to filter everything, we love to fix filter our social social media pictures because they take away the wrinkles and make us look younger, so much so that we see you in public and you're like, Who is that? I didn't know that person, and you introduce yourself. Well, we love filters of all sorts. So we're gonna talk about a FOMO filter. So it's just really four simple questions that we ask before we eat that. Do I truly want this? Would I go out of my way to get this? Is this special or just available? And will I enjoy this more than I'll regret it? And so many times I think really that answer, that last one, is no. And there are times, and and and when the answer is yes, I'll enjoy this more than I'll regret it, then go for it. Because that's balance. We're talking about those things that you're just doing to do. But if it's something you really want and you really like, and it really is special, and you go out of your way to get it, and you truly want it, then do it. You know, Kim and I have been known to make a drive over to Munster for one reason and one reason only. It is to go to a little the convenience store, right? Is that Munster? It's Munster. Munster.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

We'll drive to the gas station. Drive to the edge of the town at the gas station just to get fried pies.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

So, yes, we'll enjoy it more than we regret it. Yes, we'll go out of our way to get it.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yes, their cookies are delicious too.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Huh? Their cookies are delicious too. They're cookies. Now we're gonna have to try those. Thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

They're chicken, they're chicken popper deals. Chicken balls. Yeah, the chicken balls.

unknown 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Soak, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

We all know the place we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

We all know.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

You can even get a wolfy's crispy doubting over there, too. That's the same door.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

They got the crispy? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

I never knew that.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

We're going to.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

So Munster just not go over and get beer anymore. There's more to Munster than just beer.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Can we have a field trip?

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Well, I was just thinking that. That'd be the funniest thing to have a field trip.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

We're all getting something different.

Replacing FOMO With JOMO

SPEAKER_00 19:42

And see, that's the great part, is that we all knew what we were talking about. And everybody's been over there, and everybody has a different experience, and everybody loves different things because that's life and that's balance. And so when you go get those things, your answers are, I'll go out of my way. I won't regret it. It's special. I truly do want it. And so all of the answers are yes. And if it's yes, then it's not FOMO. So FOMO might be if you know somebody's going over there and you say, Hey, can you get me some of this stuff? Because you know, then I'd have FOMO if I knew you went over there and I didn't get any, because you answered yes to all the questions. So you know you truly do want it. But there are some times when we go, No, I wouldn't go out of my way to get it. No, I won't enjoy it as much. No, it's not special, it's just there. And no, I truly don't want it. So that so if if those answers to that are no, then we just know it's FOMO. So maybe we replace FOMO with JOMO. Now, if anybody invites me to a party and they say it's gonna be late, I'm already replaced it with FOMO with to Jomo. Jomo is joy of missing out. If it's too late, I have a joy of missing out. I'm not upset about that at all. But so how do we do that with food?

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Isn't it funny how that isn't it funny how we transition into that so quickly? It's just like overnight. It's just like, no, eight o'clock. Oh no, can't do that. I got to be in bed eight o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

I haven't been a party animal for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

A lot of years. That's either. I mean, I can't I won't even commit to a movie at seven o'clock. Oh no, it's way too late for a movie.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

No. No, when Aaron says, Do you want to watch go watch a movie? I go, We should just wait 'til it comes to T V so you can act.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Now I won't see if we can leave it for five o'clock in the afternoon.

Challenge And Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 22:00

So we should probably talk one time about when we say no to others, we're actually doing them a favor. So why do I say no to late events sometimes? It's because I'm doing them a favor. Because really, after eight o'clock, really 7:30, I'm not real sociable. I can't real fun. I'm not real fun. It takes a lot of work just for me to be nice and you know talk. So by saying no, I'm really doing a favor because you just don't want me there. I'm not fun. It's just it's not a it's not good. So we should talk about when you when you're really doing other people a favor. I'd be there physically, but mentally, emotionally, I'm out. So Jomo is joy of missing out. So instead of I'm missing out, it's I'm choosing intentionally. I'm choosing a different choice intentionally. You know, it's maybe you're not missing out, you're selecting. You're selecting what you want, what you want to eat, what you want to do. There's there's it's a big difference. Missing out is making us think they did it without me. But when we go out choose it intentionally, joy of missing out, I made that choice. I got to choose. Probably nobody saw Savannah Smiles, right? That's an old movie. I did. So you remember in Savannah Smiles, Bootsy, it's not Bootsy, it's the other guy. But anyhow, the little girl's talking to him, and he's real upset, and he's talking about when he was a little kid, and they were on a hayride, and the hayride left him. And and I can't remember his name, but he was running after him, and he couldn't catch him. And it's such a sad part of the movie because it it kind of talks about why that's kind of why he was a criminal. But anyhow, but that's what we do sometimes when we have a feel of missing out. I didn't get a choice, so I'm missing out. I can't catch the hay rod. I can't catch it, so they left me behind. Where sometimes the hayrod leaves and go, hallelujah, I don't have to ride on that thing, have hay up my butt and be uncomfortable and all the things. Thank goodness. See the difference about how we do that, and that's really how we replace FOMO with Jomo. Joy of missing out. So, you know, really kind of the the challenge is to really reset our mindset about how we're doing that. Are we missing out or are we making a choice? And again, if you're making a choice and it's all those things, you want it, you go out of your way for it, it's special, then go for it. But if a lot of those questions that are no, I wouldn't do that, no, I wouldn't do that, then it's simply FOMO. So the challenge is just to have fun with it. Say, am I eating this at a FOMO or do I really want it? And if it's FOMO, can I turn into JOMO? So any any thoughts, comments, or questions about food FOMO that all of us will experience from time to time, whether you're the healthy nut, whether it's a holiday gathering, whether you're out with friends having drinks or chips or queso, whatever it is, we'll all experience it sometime or another. So the fun is just to question and say, Am I having FOMO right now? Any any thoughts, comments, or questions? All right, everybody, have a great evening. I'll see everybody later this evening or tomorrow or maybe the weekend if we do a field trip to Munster. Who knows? Thank y'all. Have a great evening. Thank you, and thank you to each of you for joining us on Healthy Huto. I look forward to seeing you right here next time on Healthy Huddle.