The Mind Body Project
The Mind Body Project
Healthy Huddle: Autonomy of Eating
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We unpack how diet culture trains us to hand over control of food to plans, points, macros, doctors, and influencers, then leaves us anxious when the structure disappears. We define autonomous eating and show how internal awareness helps us adjust, course-correct, and make choices we can own.
• diet culture across decades and why plans sell
• why rules feel relieving and why diets always end
• autonomy as self-governing choice and food ownership
• how outsourcing decisions creates dependency and blame
• internal regulation through hunger cues, triggers, and patterns
• why “average calories” can mislead and why needs vary
• adjusting without panic and course-correcting over time
Any thoughts, comments, or questions about our autonomous eating?
Welcome To Healthy Huddle
SPEAKER_00Welcome to Healthy Huddle. Thanks for taking a little time to join us. Um, each week we just join our live call for Healthy Huddle as we talk a differ about a different health nutrition topic and really how to apply that into our everyday life. How can that be applicable? So um that's what we decide we talk about every week on Healthy Huddle. So let's join our live call. All right, so we talked, uh have talked about diet cultures over the decades. So I think we talked about diet through the decades, and a lot of us come from those diet decades, those diet cultures, whether it's from a parent, whether it's for something we joined in on, whatever diet or whatever was going on at that time, we've kind of probably fought within that somewhere. We got it from somewhere we started. So we're gonna talk a little bit about how do, if we experience that, how do we reclaim the our ownership of our food if we come from a diet culture? And I would say majority of the population in the United States comes from a diet culture, especially probably 40 and over, even though some in their 20s and 30s might, because of parents being in their 40s and coming from that. So we're gonna talk about how do we do that. Um, and a lot of the diet culture, um, as we talked about over the decades, were they structured? I mean, they all had different names and they all had some sort of structure. Um, eat this, don't eat that. Um, I mean, we still have them today, it's not like they're all gone because diets sell, right? People sell, huh?
SPEAKER_01Keto sells.
SPEAKER_00Keto sells.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, when when we have a two-thirds obesity problem in the United States, diets sell really well. Diet books sell really well. There's all kinds of things about it. But, you know, the thing about what is nice about a diet? What does it usually tell you? If it if you have a diet plan, what does it usually tell you?
SPEAKER_01What to eat.
SPEAKER_00What to eat, and and and might even tell you times to eat. It might even have a one side that's all X's, don't eat this. One side that's all check marks, eat this. Um, so really we think, okay, if I eat the, I can eat this. Um, I I kind of, I mean, I know uh Weight Watchers works, but I don't really understand how they do it now. I don't really understand how it works because they have free foods that are like chicken or a potato or a banana. They're like they call them free foods, so they don't count any points, but yet they still have calories.
SPEAKER_01So even the meat, I think, is free.
SPEAKER_00Even the meat's free. What what else do you say?
SPEAKER_01They're also pushing those shots now.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Oh, White Watchers is, yeah. Well, that I mean, that helps their diet look better. So it makes their company look better, it makes their advertisement look better. But again, I don't really understand how that works if you're taking in calories, but it's not counting towards your plan. I don't really know how it's all formulated, but it is nice to know. Oh, I can have these free foods. Some of them are unlimited, some of them are limited. So it's kind of like, keto, you can have all this meat, just don't eat any carbs. So it all has rules, and so in some way, we get relief from that. Why is that?
SPEAKER_01We don't have to think about it.
SPEAKER_00We don't have to think about it. We're giving that responsibility to I I really can't say to somebody else. We're giving that responsibility to a company that is this is what generically is best, what we think is best for the masses. Yes, you can fill out a little thing and it'll give you a general idea, but it says this is what we feel is best for the masses, and yet it gives us some relief because we think, oh, it's telling me what to do, I can rely on that for it to work. I don't have to think about it. I might go to this little menu and says I can have these things or I can't have these things. So we're gonna talk about and what happens when that plan ends.
SPEAKER_01Uh, then you usually eat your regular food.
Autonomy In Eating Defined
SPEAKER_00You usually eat your regular food because and you gain weight. Because all diet plans end. They all end. Because I think it's safe to say nobody would say they're still on the same diet plan they started even a year ago. As strict as they did, maybe. Maybe it's a lot looser, but it's probably not as strict. I might even venture to say not even three months ago. Because they all have an ending point at some point. That's kind of the point of a diet. It has a start date and an ending date. So we're going to talk about the autonomy in eating. So, what is autonomy? It is the self-governing choice. So we get to choose. Now, how scary is that?
SPEAKER_01We are the boss of us.
SPEAKER_00We are the boss of us. Because we go to the doctor because we want the doctor to tell us things, right? Tells us we all have this these problems, but he may never say you need to eat better, you need to get some exercise and come back and see me, and then we'll see about some medicine. Do those things first, and then somehow, when a doctor might tell somebody to go exercise and eat better, okay, well, I need to do that then. But sometimes even that isn't strong enough to make them do it. But autonomy really is we get to govern ourselves, we get to decide because typically when you go see your doctor, typically, I mean, how long are you in there visiting with him? Maybe 15-20 minutes, maybe huh?
SPEAKER_01Closer to 10.
SPEAKER_00Closer to 10, because it's already an hour late or her. So there's not a lot of discussion. It's it's well, typically with all my patients, this is what works. Try this. But we get to decide what works for our body because we know our bodies. We've been with them our whole lives. We know them. We get to understand our hunger, we get to know our triggers. Because I bet a lot of you could name your triggers when it comes to food. I bet you can name three of them pretty easy. Also, it means that we can adjust without panic. Um, that, oh my gosh, this is not, this is off my norm. What am I gonna do? We can adjust without panicking. Um, and then also it means that we can eat for ownership, not obedience. Because when you're on a plan, are you striving for obedience? Yes, you're you're I gotta do all these things. I gotta be obedient to the rules. Because if I break the rules, I'll probably gain weight. Or if I break the rules, I won't gain weight.
SPEAKER_01I can't cheat.
Outsourcing Food Authority And Dependency
SPEAKER_00I can't cheat, I have to be obedient, no cheating. So, again, it is what the diet culture, diet decades teaches us is compliance. You have to comply with the program. And think about I'll get off on a side note, but think about everything in life. Isn't there a lot of things that want you to comply? Diet's just a small portion of it. When you go to school from kindergarten all the way through, are you supposed to comply with the rules, with what's being taught, with how you're supposed to learn, with the test, with all the things? Think about the job. You have you know this way of doing it. Um, you have to comply with everything. Um, been listening to a uh former CEO of Tesla. Um, and it was very it's been very interesting how they their motto kind of at Tesla is not to comply. In other words, if this works, can we do better? If we can break the rules and make it work even better, then that's what we're gonna do. Because over and over again we're taught, and it's it's through societal norms, but that we are to comply. And diets are really no different. And so when we don't comply with the diet, we think I didn't do that right. When we don't comply with how we're supposed to do something, I didn't do that right. So we've outsourced our food authority to diet programs, we've given diet programs authority to tell us what to do. We've given our authority to macro calculators. What's my macros? We've given our diet authority to influencers. Well, I saw her on TikTok, and it's really working well for her. So I'm gonna try just to drink apple cider vinegar and nothing else for the next 30 days because you see her all day long, yes, doing all those things. Yes, kind of like all the videos I see of exercises online, they look really good to do twice, yeah, or three times until you have a room of 21 women doing them, yes, that don't go as well, and that it doesn't work at all. So that's when you have to call an Audible and do something different. You know, we outsource it to doctors, we outsource it to trainers, we outsource it to social media trends, we outsource a lot of those things. You know, I was asked the other day, I've been working out a few weeks, I've gained a few pounds, what's going on? So I kind of had to share that, and this is really when we don't outsource it. What is it because there must be a problem because I'm working out and I've gained weight, so there must be a problem with the workout. So then we talked a little bit about food, and maybe the workouts have been making her a little more hungry, and so maybe that's adding a little more calories, and maybe that is the result of a little bit extra a pound or two that she's because typically when people start working out, they think I'm gonna lose a ton of weight, and unfortunately, if the diet part is not in on that, it's not gonna work, and so working out, huh?
SPEAKER_01Eat whatever they want because they're working out now. Yes, that and working it off.
SPEAKER_00I'm working it off.
SPEAKER_01I deserve it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I mean, I wish I could say I was different, but the first 5k Kim and I did, we went and had like a buffet because we thought we just did so much work.
SPEAKER_01We we can send 4,000 calories at breakfast. Easy because we just did a 5K.
SPEAKER_00So so I can understand that mentality and how that works. I I get that. Unfortunately, the body just doesn't work like that. I wish it did. It would be great. But then we start when we when we are doing those and we're outsourcing that authority, it begins to create dependency. Let me depend on that. What's the doctor gonna say? What is my trainer gonna say? What is my influencer gonna say? I mean, I DM'd them, maybe they'll answer me. So we start depending on others, and so we can kind of sometimes forward that blame on the other person. I stopped weighing clients because I was getting blamed for it all the time when the scale went up. I thought, well, that's dumb. So I just stopped weighing them. I thought, why put myself through that every week? Because again, it was my fault. I was doing something wrong, but I only saw them about an hour a week, two 30-minute sessions, and somehow it was me. So then I dig into it and say, Well, have you been doing this? Well, I don't like doing that. Well, I don't like that. Well, the logging's just too much. Well, I don't, and so we find out that it's more than just maybe me. And so it also creates, you know, when we don't when we're relying on those others, what if I make mistakes? What if I don't follow it exactly? And then here's the thing: what happens when the plan ends? What do I do? Do I stop doing exercise? Do I mean now? What do I eat? Because I don't have anything to follow, and it wasn't it nothing carried on after it. There wasn't, you know, a part two, a part three, a part four, and then for the rest of your life, there wasn't that. So then we end up searching for the the right way. What's the right way to eat? And what do we do when we search for the right way? Do we search inside or outside?
SPEAKER_01Outside.
SPEAKER_00Outside.
SPEAKER_01What's everybody else doing?
SPEAKER_00What's there? Hey, what are you doing? Hey, you lost a few pounds. What are you doing? And then then we try to take a little bit from this person, a little bit from that person, and try to, you know, throw them up in the air and hopefully they come together in some sort of organized plan of some sort. And so when we do that, when we outsource that enough, long enough, we forget to listen to ourselves. Just because, you know, maybe we did a 30-minute workout, maybe we did a 20-minute treadmill class, but we get done and go, you know what, I did that, but I think I could do a little more. I think I'm gonna do some more. And that that and that's listening to ourselves or saying, you know, I ate that, and I don't really want that again. Right or wrong, I mean, even though it's good for me, I don't really, I don't really care for that, so I'm not gonna eat that again. And it's kind of listening to what works for us. So when we do that, when we start listening to ourselves, it's really conditioning us to listen to what we have to say instead of what something else says we should eat. Um, because don't you read um the average, the the uh caloric intake for a female? Have you ever looked up what's the what's the caloric intake for a female?
SPEAKER_01And you look up and what's it supposed to be? Like or what we think it is.
SPEAKER_00Well, both. What's it supposed? Well, what's what what would what would if you looked it up, what would it probably tell you?
SPEAKER_01Probably about 17 to 1800 calories a day.
SPEAKER_00If you're lucky, I would say I bet if you looked it up, if you had chat GPT, it'd probably say on average, probably like 1200 calories. Um, some of you might be perfectly fine at 1200 calories. You're like, I'm starving to death.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and and and some might be able to eat 2,000 calories a day. And you go, what? And again, it's based on your activity level, where's your metabolism at? Where's your age at? Where's your hormones at? All of those different things are based on you. So one person might say, Man, I'm just if I get below 2,000, I just don't have any energy. And if I get at 2,000, I can do all my workouts, I can do all the things. And then some are like, well, I'm at 800. You should never go below 1200, but some say I'm at 800 and I just don't eat, I'm not hungry. And so some are that way. I would never recommend going below 800 because you do need a certain amount. But again, if you look at it, says what the average is, but each one of you are going to be individual. I've had clients that don't lose any weight at 1500 calories. I tell them to add weight, add calories. They freak out. And once we got them up about 1800, they started losing weight. They started going down. Again, there's a whole reason behind that, but it's individual to you. What are you doing? What's your body like? Your how do you burn things, your cardiovascular activity, all those things go into account for you, not the general public. And you have to know you. And again, when you know you, you have to be really honest with you and say, Yes, I'm exercising, but is it hard exercise, or I am just kind of like when we're fit-ish, we're just kind of exercise-ish. Um, we're kind of present for the exercise, and we're we do a little bit, but it's not what we are capable of doing.
SPEAKER_01Um the second round of the 5 30 a.m.
SPEAKER_00yesterday morning that you thought that uh I'm uh no.
SPEAKER_01I was just we weren't doing enough. We were just exercising a little bit.
When Structure Feels Like Safety
SPEAKER_00It was good yesterday. Yes, we won't revisit that. So it it we do have to be aware and be honest with ourselves in in what are we doing? And it's about what not not this is what is prescribed, but what is it I'm capable of doing? You know, what am I personally able to do more of? But you know, the interesting thing is a lot of times we say we want freedom, right? And we want freedom from food. But what happens when that rule, when those rules disappear, when that diet plan disappears, when that exercise plan disappears, we begin to have some anxiety over it because what happens? Our structure feels safe because we have a we have guidelines and it feels safe. Um and when we're when we're in our own control, that can feel very uncertain. Kim and I, when we go hiking, you know, I'm such an outdoorsman, we we really need a trail.
SPEAKER_01And a handyman.
SPEAKER_00And a handyman. We really need a trail to feel marked trail. A well-marked trail. We were in Big Ben one year on our anniversary hiking. It wasn't, it was it was not very well marked. And after we got out to where we were going, she goes, Yeah, I think not too long ago, somebody died out here because they couldn't find their way back. I thought, oh, that's nice. You told me that after we got out here. I didn't feel very safe. Um, I needed a structured path to feel safe on while hiking. Um, now that's one of my goals is to be uh to learn all that stuff. Um that's something I think would be fun. Um tearing, I think it's what it's called.
SPEAKER_01But you're not there yet.
SPEAKER_00But oh, I'm not even close. No, I do have a walking stick, so I'm getting closer. And I do have a backpack, yes. I can put some snacks in it, but I can beat off a bear with my walking stick. So, but that structure feels safe. I mean, even if you give me a rope on either side, that's even better. I mean, that's kind of how we are. We need something. How do I stay in the lines? And then we remove that. When we remove the good or bad labels, we remove the portion size, we remove the here's the rules, then we're really left with our internal awareness. In other words, we become responsible for our decision making. And that's and and really the autonomy of diet is what we're always talking about because we don't promote plans because plans do end. And if we can learn these, it it will last a lifetime. It's things you can adapt over time, even as you get older, your metabolism changes a little bit, your exercise routines change a little bit. You can then alter some of the things to go along with your lifestyle, your healthy lifestyle. So when we're looking for external control, you know, when we think of external control, why do many come to small group to work out? I hear this even more on the treadmill.
SPEAKER_01Because what's what to do?
Internal Regulation And Real Body Signals
Own The Choice And Adjust
SPEAKER_00Yes, I tell you what to do. This is what you do. You just have to show up and put in the work. I'll tell you how, you know, speed up, slow down, up the hill, down the hill, run, walk, all the things. So that's kind of external control. Sometimes that's nice too because what's it do? It's structured, it feels safe, it lets our minds go. But how often have any of you created one of those plans on your own? Just say, I'm gonna get on the treadmill by myself and do some sprints and do some hills and do some other things. Probably, probably not many. Again, because that's kind of like, ooh, I mean, and all of you would be very capable of doing it. Same thing with workout, you'd be very capable of doing all that. But that external control tells me, give me a plan, tell me what to eat, what's allowed, what's not allowed. And then when we start internal control or internal regulation, it's about am I hungry? Or how does this make me feel? When I eat this and I exercise, how does that make me feel? You know, what supports my energy? When I used to cycle, one of my favorite things was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I gotta eat it before I go because it gave me energy. And I knew that it didn't really matter about the calories or what it was because it gave me energy to do to be out on the bike. And then sometimes it's what do I need right now? What is the food I need right now? What's the energy I need right now? And then That external and external control is really rule-based. Here are the rules. This is what you're supposed to do. And internal regulation is about awareness. And we have to be honest with our awareness. You know, why are you dizzy? Did you just get up too fast? Do you need a little food? Is your heart rate too high? Are you about to pass out? There's a bunch of different things dizziness means. You have an earache. Do you have some vertigo? I mean, it means a bunch of different things. And so it's not necessarily because you're sick. It may just be because you got up really fast. Or it may be that you haven't eaten much and you just tried to do some hard exercise because you thought you'd do it on a fasted state, because you you saw an influencer do that, and you thought, that'll be cool. Let me try that. And then you got dizzy because of that. It's not because that treadmill workout made you dizzy, it's because of the other things going on in your body that made you dizzy, not the treadmill or not the workout. So we have to be aware and be honest with that awareness. And when we internally regulate, we can adapt. That's why I'm saying what you're doing now may have to change as you change exercises, as you change routines, as you get a little older, as your body changes. Things will have to adapt. Doesn't mean you have to do less, it just means you have to do different things that adapt. So when we're aware, we recognize our hunger cues, we notice our triggers, we understand patterns. I can see a pattern forming. I mean, the way I'm eating or the way I'm doing things. And then when it comes to our choices, we're not reacting to that diet plan. We get to choose what's best for my body, what's best for my energy, what's best for I want to accomplish. And then you own your decisions, and that's another thing, too. You own them. So if it doesn't go right, you own that, that it doesn't go right. And you don't blame, you can't blame the doctor, you can't blame the influencer, you can't blame the diet, you can't blame a friend, you can't blame any of that. It's on you. Um, and then what do you do? If it doesn't work, you adjust and move forward. Um because once you're in motion, you can always course correct. That's the most important thing. Um, the worst thing is not starting. If you start and you start wrong, you can still course correct. Just like a plane. If it's going in, it's meant to go to point B and it's going to point C, it's already in the air, so it just has to course correct to get to the right place. So, really, the challenge is is to start thinking about that internal, that internal awareness of not letting the outside things control you. That internal control. Because, yes, that external feels safe because it tells you what to do. Yes, that path that is well marked when hiking feels very safe. But sometimes the good things are off the path that is not marked. That's where the real magic happens. When when um you go beyond what you thought you could, when you do the things you didn't think you could do, and when you try different things, well, wow, I really felt good doing that. And you go above and beyond because when we have external control, there are some limitations because you go, oh, that's the limits. I need to stay within the limits. And with autonomous control, there are no limits. You can do anything you want. And so the challenge is to start to look at that and say, Am I being externally regulated or am I being internally regulated? And I would say that a lot of us are externally regulated. And I would challenge you to become start looking at how I can become more internally regulated. Any thoughts, comments, or questions about our autonomous eating? It's really just about you're in control. You do you, Boo Boo. And thank you to each of you for joining us on Healthy Hudding. I look forward to seeing you right here next time on Healthy Huddle.