Healthy Huddle: The Difference Between Feeling Fed & Being Fed

We explore why a full stomach can still leave us reaching for dessert, snacks, or one more bite, and we name the gap between being fed and feeling fed. We share simple ways to create satisfaction and closure so food noise calms down and grazing feels less automatic. 
• the difference between physical fullness and true satisfaction 
• why we keep searching for “something else” after a meal 
• how emotional completion shapes cravings and snacking 
• sensory enjoyment and why the full food experience matters 
• how modern eating habits increase distraction and speed 
• why multitasking makes meals not register in the brain 
• what food noise sounds like and how feeling fed reduces it 
• practical ways to feel fed: pause, notice, engage senses, ask “Am I still enjoying this?” 
• creating an ending to a meal by stopping before stuffed and leaving a bite or two 
I would challenge you this week, that might be very challenging, if you're eating by yourself, if there's any time you eat by yourself, try to do it, see if you can make it five minutes with nothing, no distractions, no um, no phone, no television, no music, just you, your thoughts, and your food.

https://aarondegler.com/

Transcript

Welcome And Topic Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Healthy Huddle. Thank you for taking time to join us. If this is your first time to Healthy Huddle, welcome. Each week we just join our live call as we talk about a different food topic, not necessarily diet or anything related to that, just more about lifestyle and how we treat food, how we think about food, and different things that we can do to just add those to our lifestyle. So let's join our live call. So as I was thinking about today's topic, I was thinking about how it just doesn't relate to food. But we're just going to talk about how it relates to food. The difference between being fed and feeling fed. That's a, I mean, that can be a whole different topic for another day, but today we're going to talk about how it relates to food. Sometimes we eat food, and what happens when we get done? We may be full, but what do we want sometimes more of? The dessert. The dessert. We had a full meal, but we still want something else. We might find ourselves going to the cabinet and looking in there. Somebody would say, What are you looking for? I don't know. I just want something else. Or say chicken.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Looking for grilled chicken in the cabinet.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Yes, looking for grilled chicken, probably a rice cake.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yeah, that's what everybody wants.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Yes. A yummy rice cake, and you're like, man, if I could just chomp on that for a little while. Really, I think a rice cake's like gnawing on something. It's like, ugh. But and then sometimes we and that's what happens when we feel full, but not necessarily satisfied. Satisfied is we're wanting we're not, we still want something else. And so we are looking for something else, so we're not satisfied. And then sometimes you might find yourself if you're home quite a bit, especially when it's bad weather or super cold, you'll you'll find yourself kind of grazing all day, and you're just looking for that next thing. Well, what's the thing that is gonna go? Oh, yeah, that's it. That's what made me happy. That's what made me because really it's not about being full, it's more about what makes you feel happy.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

That means satisfied.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Satisfied. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

That's that's what I'm always looking for. It's something to set it, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Defining Fed Versus Feeling Fed

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yeah, and and so you go from one thing to the next going, well, okay, maybe this will satisfy me. Maybe this will. So that's so that's kind of the gap is is being fed and feeling fed. So most people are fed. When we talk about fed, they're physically fed. You're given food, you're full. But very few of us feel fed. And so the feeling of fed is really what we're like, Renee said, you're looking for that next thing that is satisfying you. What is satisfying me? Because, and and we're gonna get to that, but what that looks like, what feeling fed looks like. But being fed is physical. It's I consume some calories, my stomach is full, there was some nutrients present, not saying that they're good or bad or otherwise, they're just nutrients. And when we talk about nutrients, it's not always doesn't mean necessarily they're good. We think of nutrition and nutrients as good, but everything nurtures our body just in different ways, unhealthy and healthy ways. But and then when we're physically fed, our hunger is temporarily temporarily reduced. Even if we didn't find that thing we're looking for, the the hunger is temporarily reduced. So it that being fed is all biological, it's all physical. And when we feel fed, it's more of an experience. We might call it experience experiential. So feeling fed is about do I feel satisfied? Satisfied is really how we think. It's how we're feeling. You know, is there emotional completion? In other words, does did that make me did that help my sadness? Did that encourage my happiness? Did that make me even more joyful? What did it do for emotionally? And then feeling fed is a sensory enjoyment. So there are some people that might make a meal and it's just all colorful and pretty on the plate. Um, they might take a picture of it and send it out or post it and say, My meal. And I mean, it just looks like the most perfect, pretty plate. If they edit, ate it, edit, if they ate it, it would be a century joint. In other words, they looked at it, it looked visually appealing. It smelled visually appealing. It smelled appealing, not visually appealing. It smelled appealing. I mean, then when they tasted it, it tasted appealing. Maybe when they heard it cooking, it made all those right sounds. What do you when you if you get fajitas at a Mexican restaurant? How do you feel if they come out not sizzling?

SPEAKER_01 5:34

We didn't get our money's worth.

The Sensory Side Of Satisfaction

Modern Eating And Distraction Traps

SPEAKER_00 5:35

We didn't get a money's worth. When they come out and they're sizzling, and I mean, you I mean, you're you're having to blow away the smoke. You think, man, that is some fajitas right there. That's part of sensory enjoyment. You got the full experience of it. And then feeling fed is like you've eaten this perfect meal, this this great thing that you had all the sensory in, and you go, oh, that you have closure. You have it's we we've eaten this meal and it hit all the things, and it's just great. So this is how we've added physic physiologically, how we think about it, our emotional and sensory. It's all comes together, and that's how we feel fed. So we can have one without the other. And so, why do we have this gap? Why do we have being fed versus feeling fed? And one of it is again, we've talked about this numerous times, but it's modern eating or modern eating. We prioritize speed, convenience. I mean, think of convenience store. Did they have a convenience store 70 years ago? No, they had a gas station, you could go get gas, and you it's not like you could go in and get a ho-ho and a coke. They had what a drugstore for that. You could go in and get candy, you could go in and get a coke, but you wouldn't get that necessarily at the gas station. Well, that's that's why now it's called convenience because it's quick and easy. And almost in a convenience store, now you can get anything. You can get a little grocery shopping, you can get some parts for your car, you know, you can get you know a hot dog, you can get Christmas gifts. I mean, you can get it all at convenience stores. So and and when we eat too, it there's a lot of distractions. There's a lot of stimulation physically, mentally, with all your senses. There's a lot going on. So we typically eat a little faster. We eat a little more distracted, we eat maybe while we're working, especially, especially when COVID happened and even accelerated working from home. Probably more people working from home now than ever. And what typically happens? Um, I have a lot of clients that work from home, and so they talk about this eating in their desks. They keep working. What are they doing? They're eating while they're working. Um, and we eat without noticing. What if you're at a ball game or some kind of sporting event for kids and you go to the concession stand? You're really watching the game, not really paying attention to what you're eating. So you're really eating without noticing, and then you get done and go, Well, those nachos or that Frito chili pie was supposed to be my supper, but I'm still hungry. And that's because you're not feeling fed. You were fed, you're just not feeling fed. So with that, our body is really fed. It's given, it's it's gotten calories, but mentally we don't, it didn't register. So we think, well, I've been cheated, I missed out. So how do we how do we become, how do we add that ingredient of feeling fed? How do we connect being fed and feeling fed? Because the feeling, as it indicates, requires more than just food. Um, if our attention is, how many um think about in the last three days? Sure, that's pretty easy to remember, might even say two days. Um, did you eat? Think about this. Did you eat without being on your phone, without watching TV, without working, or without a conversation? Did you eat with any one of those? But no, it doesn't have to be all of them, but just with was any of them, did you eat with any of those on or doing? And chance, and so that that would mean that did you eat in the last two to three days, just looking at your plate, eating with your fork or spoon, putting it down, thinking, eating, or chances are probably pretty slim that didn't happen. Um, because we're either watching television, we're either having a conversation, we're either scrolling, um, or we're doing it while we work because we like to save time, right? Um, if I can multitask, I can eat and I can work, as we've talked about before. We think multitasking is effective, but it's really not, because you might have worked, but then you didn't really register what you ate. So then you got done eating, and a little bit later go, man, I don't know why I'm hungry. I had a big old lunch, but now I'm hungry. So then you have a snack, and then you probably snacked while you were going from place to place, or while you were working, or while you're scrolling, and so a little bit later you go, I'm I'm still hungry. I don't know what's up with me today. Man, I'm really hungry. And it may could have been just because you were really distracted with other things and not paying attention to your food, and and so when we're feeling fed, we also have to begin, like I said, we have to get engaged with the taste, the texture, the smell, the temperature, all the things. Um, because sometimes we ignore all the we think food is all the background noise. You know, hear the sizzling, that's background noise. Um, the smell, that's background noise, because we're busy doing other things, so we don't pay attention to it. Um, but if you're like a little kid sitting at the table waiting to eat, don't doesn't it start looking really good if you're just eyeballing the food? It starts smelling really good. Um, I mean, you just can't wait to to get it. And I don't think we go into a meal with that anticipation, like, oh man, that's gonna be so good. It's like sometimes it's like, this is just another thing I have to do today. Let me get this done so I can go on to the next thing. And and then sometimes um what kind of emotional state are we in? We've talked about that too. It's because it has to be with a feeling are we stressed? Um, are we rushed? Um, are we anxious? Are we overwhelmed? I'm sure nobody's ever overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious. Um never. Um, and then is what we end up doing is we're just trying to eat to survive. Um, but we're physically feeding our body, but not um thinking about it, so we're still not feeling fit. Um because survival mode will feed us. I mean, we keep living and doing the things, but it doesn't produce, oh, I'm satisfied. So, because I bet when you're home on a cold weather day or bad weather day, and you go, man, I just can't find what I'm looking for. I can't find what satisfied me. Chances are you're binge watching a series, and so you've been getting up, stopping it, going to the kitchen, getting something, sitting back down watching it, or you've been trying to find the end of TikTok or Facebook or Instagram, and and you still unfound it. And so I'll just nibble on this while I'm doing that. Um, and so our minds preoccupied because we're kind of bored, and so we then we go, well, I don't know why I'm so hungry today. I haven't done anything. Well, you have mentally. Um, and a lot of times, you know, when we eat, um you know most of us have an opportunity to go get something else if we want to. You can go get a snack, you can go to the refrigerator, to the cabinet, to the office. You brought, you know, if you have an office, maybe you got a snack drawer just in case you get a little hungry, you know, or you get, you know, you get the shakes, you need a little chocolate, you need a little sugar, it'll calm your nerves a little bit. And so we don't really have that closure because we don't have that full meal. Because again, we can always guess a little bit more. So when we don't feel fed, kind of like when we're home on bad weather days, it looks like I don't feel fed, so I maybe I need more food. So that's what we do. We go look for more food. Think about how different it would be if when you got hungry and you went to look for more food, that meant you had to go out hunting for it. Or you had to go pick it out of the garden. How likely would you be then to go get more food? Or probably not, because you're like, that's a lot of work. Think about, I mean, it's as simple as let's say you got a fix, let's say you don't have anything quick and easy, and you're kind of hungry, like you ate, but you want some more, and you'd have to fix something, like it would take maybe 30 minutes. How apt would you be to go ahead and fix that? Because you're not skinny. Yeah, because how are you gonna probably okay? You just ate, but you go, I kind of want something more. How would that make you feel if you go, man, I'm spending 30 minutes on fixing this other food?

SPEAKER_01 15:02

It ain't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

It ain't gonna happen and probably make you feel like, man, I'm really kind of wow, kind of being a piggy that I'm you know spending all this time on fixing this when I just ate. But we don't think anything of it if we just go to the cabinet and grab this quick bite or this quick bag of something, or these huh?

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Or if you run to the donut store after 5K.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah, that's true. Because surely you burn a lot of calories for it. After you already had breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Yes, yes, second breakfast.

Food Noise And The Search Loop

Simple Practices To Feel Fed

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Second breakfast, but just one donut, not two. So there's always a there's always a a plus side. A plus side not to make you plus size. So more more food doesn't always solve being satisfied because it's really about how we thought. Now, when went to the donut store for a second breakfast, did we need food? Nah, we had plenty of food. It wasn't like we needed more calories, like, oh, I'm feeling so weak, you know, I can't hardly move. It wasn't anything like that. It's like, oh, that sounds good. And then it was more of like, I feel kind of hungry. So that's what happened. But when we feel fed, because how when we are being fed, what you know, we might say, well, feeling fed, you know, after a Thanksgiving meal, I'm like, can't move, my stomach hurts. And we might say we feel fed. But then an hour later, you got room for a little dessert, or there's still some snacks left out, so you go ahead and grab one, just because it's gonna have a bite. But feeling fed, what what does that how does that feel? That helps us feel calm, it helps reduce food noise. Like, think about if you've ever felt fed and you and you typically deal with food noise. So, food noise, if you don't deal with food noise, it's like it's always talking to you. It's always like, you know, what am I gonna eat? What am I gonna eat? I really want a snack, I shouldn't have a snack, go for it, don't go for it, all those things. So if you feel fed, it reduces that food noise. So there's a period of time that you don't you're not having that conversation. Should I eat, shouldn't I eat? I'd really like some more food, but am I hungry or I just want something? You don't have that back and forth thought. Um, and if you really feel fed, you don't go looking through the cabinets. And I mean, sometimes when you get desperate, you know, you'll find the weirdest things that go, oh man, that looks really good. That normally you wouldn't. But if you feel fed, there's no really urge to keep searching. And you also feel like I'm done, like I ate and done. So that's not really about fullness, like a physical fullness. That's more of like I've completed, I feel completed. It's completion of your food, of your eating, because you can you can uh feel uh complete feeling fed without feeling stuffed. Does that make sense? So you don't have to be stuffed like a like a turkey to feel fed. Because a lot of times, what happens when you overeat? You don't you're not really calm. Okay, like, oh, I'm so miserable, and you know, you're kind of rolling around a little bit, you gotta stretch it out. You know, that food noise is still in your head because you're going, I shouldn't have ate that. Oh, I I should have stopped. You know, I mean, you're having this whole conversation about the things you did and didn't do, and so you can be stuffed, or I mean, you can not be full and still feel fed. So, how do we create that feeling? You know, maybe it's before you start eating, you just take a pause. Um, again, to think about the food. What are you eating, why are you eating it? Um, all the things, all the questions you ask. Um, it might be giving yourself 20 questions about why you're gonna eat. Um you know, we we talk about when we're with other people. What do we need to do? What do we need to give them when we're with other people? If we're in a conversation with other people, what do we need to do?

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Full attention.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Full attention. But our poor food doesn't get our full attention. It gets maybe a quarter of our attention if it's lucky. But what if you were to give your food full attention for like five minutes? Not the whole meal, maybe, but maybe just five minutes. Maybe just there's no social media, there's no television, no music, no conversation. Now, you know, obviously you might only do this when you're by yourself and not when you're with somebody because they're going, you're being rude, and you're saying, I can't talk to you, I'm giving my food my full attention right now. And then they think you just have a food in it. You're a weirdo. You're a weirdo because you're attracted to your food. I mean, you you could say, look how good it smells, and it looks so attractive, and I just can't wait to taste it, and you just you're a weirdo. So I would only do it when you're alone. And and then maybe engage one of those senses intentionally. Maybe it's a texture thing, maybe it is a smell, maybe it's a flavor that you really are intentional about. What is because think of the different foods you eat. There's probably some that are really flavorful that you just enjoy. And what if you just focused on that flavor or the texture that you really pay attention to it? And then maybe you try not eating just until you're full. Maybe you eat and you ask yourself as you're eating, am I still enjoying this? How many times have you asked yourself why you're eating, am I still enjoying this? You probably start eating it because it's good. And we probably don't ask ourselves again, am I still eating this or am I just eating this because that's what I'm supposed to do? Or, you know, we're just having conversations, so I'm just gonna keep eating because that's what we do. So if if the answer is no, I'm not still enjoying this, then maybe you just discontinue eating it. It's just questions that you might ask yourself. Doesn't mean you do it, just some thoughts. And then maybe you create an end. How many times when you're stuffed, do you push your plate away? And why why do you push your plate away? Because you're done. You're done. Yeah. But usually we do that after we've kind of stuffed ourselves. But what about a feeling of That was enough, and then we push it away. Or you mainly say, that was delicious, but I'm done. I don't need any more. So then basically you're closing out the meal. How do we usually close a meal? When it's all gone.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

All gone.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

All gone, and we're done.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

You're gonna sit at this table until you're done. Explain your plate.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

A lot of us might have grown up like that. Like you're gonna, the meal's not done until your plate is clean.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

That's right.

The Five Minute No Distraction Challenge

SPEAKER_00 22:31

And so maybe it's just even when you practice leaving some on your plate. Maybe it's a bite or two bites. Maybe it's just that mental habit of there's something left on the plate. So it's kind of your way of saying, I don't have to finish my plate. I'm an adult, I can do what I want, and I don't have to clean my plate. And it just helps create an ending to it. So really the challenge is I I would challenge you this week. That might be very challenging. If you're eating by yourself, if there's any time you eat by yourself, try to do it, see if you can make it five minutes with nothing, no distractions, no um, no phone, no television, no music, just you, your thoughts, and your food. And see if that changes how you feel about the food you're eating. You might find it's kind of boring when you eat it. Go out and enjoy that quite as much. But you might still might you feel might feel even more satisfied. And maybe if maybe you don't start out at three minutes or five minutes, maybe you start out a couple minutes just to see, to see how it feels. Um and so that would be the the challenge this week. Uh, just to see how it feels. And and and think about am I still enjoying this? Am I feeling fed or am I being fed? Being is physical. Feeling is how do we feel mentally about what we've just finished? And just uh to remember, full is physical. You feel full, it's physical. When you feel fed, it's complete. Again, full and fed is a great topic for another thing not related to food. It's really good. Any thoughts, comments, or questions? And thank you, BTU, for joining us on Healthy Hut. I look forward to seeing you right here next time on Healthy Hub.