Sit & Talk: Under New Management

We talk about what it looks like to put our lives under new management and lead ourselves with intention instead of repeating yesterday on autopilot. We break down how small, honest changes in our thinking, habits, and reactions create real growth over time. 
• the “under new management” idea and why it sparks fear or hope 
• why people stay the same through repeated thoughts and emotional patterns 
• improvement as intentional action rather than accidental growth 
• leading ourselves like a manager with goals and direction 
• leaving yesterday as information without letting it define us 
• self-evaluation and inspection as the path to progress 
• decluttering old labels, excuses, and comfort zones 
• small changes that compound into big results 

https://aarondegler.com/

Transcript

Welcome And The Week’s Topic

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to Sit and Talk. If this is your first time, welcome. Each week we just join our live call as we talk about a different mental conditioning topic. So let's join our live call and get this week's topic started.

The Under New Management Moment

SPEAKER_00 0:11

So have you ever gone to a place? Now I'm back. You're back. All right. No more, no more flat air. Some days I'd like to be flat. Have you ever been like gone to a place you usually go to? And then one day you pull up and there's a big sign out front that says under new management. So what if one day you pulled up to come work out and there's a big sign hanging over the awning that said under new management? What would your first thought be?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

I wonder if we have to run.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

I would not like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

You would not like that. And the thought might be like, who is it? What's going on? What happened? A lot of it would be probably you wouldn't even come in, you'd probably text me and say a phone call. Yeah, what is I mean that yeah, that might warrant a phone call. But typically when those things happen, we don't always have a good thought about it. Usually we think about, and I don't know why I keep and I talked about on Tuesday, but at the donut shop that now serves donuts and Asian food. Like they had an under the under new management sign like forever. It might still be there. I don't know. But it was there like forever. So and I always kept thinking, I wonder when it's done being new management. And the new management is now just the regular management. But typically I always think, like when I see those signs, I always think, I wonder what happened. I wonder if the business was having problems. Because sometimes that also really means under new ownership. I think you could interchange the two a lot of times, especially in, I mean, does anybody ever really post when they get a new manager? You know, if someplace gets a new store manager, do they put under, I mean, have you ever seen that at Academy? If they got a new manager, it says under new management. I don't think that ever happens. Really, it's, you know, we have a new owner, things are, and typically we think things are changing. I wonder what's changing. And if the place was bad, maybe there's hope that it's gonna be better. Or maybe if it was really good and you go, oh, now I wonder what's gonna happen. What kind of changes are gonna be made? And that's typically, you know, we usually go to the negative, what's not working? You know, am I gonna like it? Am I not gonna like it? Will it mean that I keep coming here? Will it be mean that I don't come here? Will it mean that I come more? All these different questions. So we're gonna talk about when our lives are under new management.

What Managing Life Really Means

SPEAKER_00 3:10

So when we speak, when we talk about management, you know, last week we talked about the blinking line. And the blinking line, we talked about you get to write your story. Whatever comes after that blinking line, you get to push the letters and create the words and sentences, all that stuff. But when we think about management, you know, if if if you've ever had to manage something, was it just one thing? Typically, even if let's say you have to manage a household, what do you have to manage? You have to manage kids, spouse, daily activities, all the different animals. Yeah, there's a lot of things that are not just okay, your manager over our schedule, and that's all you have to do. Wouldn't that be wonderful? And then the then the ferry came in and cooked and cleaned and took kids' places and figured all that out and ran to school when they forgot something that you told them 10 times to take. That would be nice, but that's not what happens. We when we manage, we have to manage all of it. Just like if you're if you've ever been a manager, had a management position in a job. You don't just have to worry about the people, but you have to worry about production, what's going on, some costs, things like that. If you're it, you know, if you think about principals, superintendents, they're managers. They don't just have to manage the teachers, they're just they're having to manage everything that goes on. It's not just our kids learning, there's a lot more to it than that. And so the same thing is true with us when we manage, when we're under new management, we have to manage our lives. And our lives are very complex. So we're gonna talk a little bit about how we do that and what that looks like. And when we talk about if we're not under new management, get off my ass.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Hey Kelly, sorry, sorry. Well, I thought at first she was like saying that's what she would say. No, yeah, I'm gonna put my I'm gonna beat my foot in.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Okay. Yeah, you gotta be careful because sometimes the real thing comes out in the car, it'll bring out the best in people.

Why People Stay The Same

SPEAKER_00 5:48

So a lot of times, I think oftentimes, I won't say a lot of times, I think many times we know people that stay the same. Maybe you maybe you knew them back in high school. Because if you look we live in a small town, I mean you're around people that you went to high school with, and maybe it's years later. And are they kind of the same? And some of them would be probably yes. And then there's some that are different. But when we talk about, you know, why do people stay the same? Why don't they really change? And and there's a lot of different reasons, but you know, a lot of times they just have the same thoughts, the same thoughts over and over, they have the same habits, they have the same excuses, well, the same reasons, because we like to call them reasons because that's a little softer than saying it's just an excuse, or they have the same emotional patterns. Because what is it? It's a lot of times easier to repeat those, even though we don't like them, it's easier to repeat yesterday. It's easier to repeat that same thought, that same reaction, that same habit, the same reason why we can't do all the things. I was just watching a podcast today with a guy that's being interviewed, and he lost both his legs and he lost both his arms. So he's on the podcast with just his hooks. But it's very interesting, and he is using zero excuses. And so it's very interesting how he's different and and his thought process and all that. But but we know a lot of people that are fully abled, fully bodied, fully mentally, physically, all of that, but they stay the same. A lot of times, and those sometimes people say, Well, I want a different life or I want a different outcome. But what do they keep doing? The same thing over and over and over. And what happens when you do the same thing over and over? What kind of results will you get? Different or the same? The same, yeah. And sometimes people are really shocked when they get the same result. Well, I thought you know, I wanted different. Why didn't I get different? Because there's not a magic genie in the bottle, and you don't get three wishes. And it's kind of like sometimes we start a day out and we go, maybe it's a week, and you go, here we go again. Another week of the same thing. And because I think sometimes we think growth should just happen by accident. Um, kind of like when we were kids and we were getting taller. Did you have to do anything to get taller? Eat our vegetables. Eat your vegetables. But I mean, you didn't have to do anything to get taller, nothing whatsoever. You had to do nothing to grow when you're a kid growing up to be growing, maturing. You didn't have to do anything. But then there comes a time that we we just stop growing. We stop growing physically, but a lot of times we stop growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Why? Because we keep doing the same things over and over again. We keep repeating those. So if we if we want growth, it has to be intentional.

Growth Requires Intention And Action

SPEAKER_00 9:18

We have to, it can't be, it's not accidental. So improvement requires intention. So if we're talking about new under new management, and whether it's an owner or a manager, maybe if it's an owner that's sold to another owner, what do they have to do? They have to go out and actively seek someone to buy the business. My Synergy Fitness. I owned the building for a while, for a number of years, and I wanted to sell it. And for a while I just said, I'd like to sell it, like to sell it. And Kim and I would talk about like to sell it, but we didn't tell anybody. And so eventually I decided, you know, I'm gonna start telling some people that I wanted to sell the building, not the business, but the building. And eventually it sold. But just by not doing anything, wasn't getting it done. It wasn't gonna happen. So it took some intention and it took some action. Um, just like if you want something different, it takes some intentionality and some action. It just, you know, nobody I knew nobody was ever gonna walk in there and go, hey, this is an amazing building because my part was good. The front half was awful, like awful, awful, awful, which was gonna take a lot of work. And so it wasn't gonna happen by accident. And so we had to start sharing it and telling it so we could get it done. So if looking for a new manager, when when I got a job at McDonald's, actually, my grandfather got me my job at McDonald's when I was 19. I mean, he liked to go down there and have coffee, and he was talking to the owner, and the owner needed manager trainees, and so my grandfather said you should hire my grandson. So they did. But they called me and I went in for an interview and got hired as a manager trainee. But again, they had to actively seek, you know, hey, can you come in for an interview? We need to talk to you. I'm gonna start out with a conversation with my grandfather. So it was actively seeking new management, it just doesn't happen. I just didn't show up and say, I'm ready to work. It took some work in going through the process to get there.

Leading Yourself Into A New Day

SPEAKER_00 11:29

And so, and if we look at kind of like we talked about the blinking line, every day we get a new opportunity. And so it's really every day we get to be enter in new management. And if we're talking about ourselves, because we get to wake up, and what does a manager typically do? If you, whether it's a supervisor, manager, whatever you want to call it, I'm I don't know what everybody has all kinds of different names for them. But what do they the hope is if you have a good one, what are they supposed to do with train employees, and and then what are they supposed to do with those employees? If the company wants this, what is that manager's job? Or leader or whatever. He so the hope is that he can lead the he or she can lead the people. So lead the team. Here's so here's our goal. Whether it's if in your factory, you have quotas to hit. If you're in school, you have test scores to hit. And just like a leader in production and manufacturing, the same, it's really, I don't think, any different in education. Their goal is to encourage the team and lead the team in the direction to hit these numbers that have been put forth of what are we supposed to get? And so then it's their job to lead the team in a manner that is most effective for the team to hit those numbers, those quotas, whatever you want to call it. And so that's kind of their job, their responsibility. And so that's kind of our job. How do we lead ourselves as we go into the new day? How do we lead ourselves to hit those goals that we have? And and so as we look at yesterday, we really want to leave yesterday with yesterday. In other words, yesterday might have had some bad choices, may have not made the best food choices, may have may have may have not made the best words that you use towards others yesterday, whether whether they heard it inside the car or out. You know, it's and sometimes we want to leave those bad choices in yesterday. Maybe it's missed opportunities in yesterday. Maybe it's emotional reactions that were in yesterday, some fears, some procrastinations, some negative thinking, some stinky thinking. But, you know, all of those things could have happened. But today we get another shot at it. We get another choice, we get another opportunity. It's almost like we have some new goals for our team, and we're a team of one. What do we how are we gonna lead ourselves today? Our team had some problems yesterday. They weren't getting along, they were a little scared, they had some stinky thinking, and they were putting some things on off that really need to be done. They were whiny a lot, but again, how do we lead them in this new day? How am I gonna lead myself into this new day? Because I'm the man I'm this day is under new management, which is me. So yesterday just informs us, but it doesn't have to own us. So yesterday is just an information. What could I do better today? What could I have improved on from yesterday? What worked really well yesterday, and I'm gonna carry over today. So it's really about how it's informing us, it's not what we are, who we are. So then we think, what from yesterday doesn't really belong into the new day. Maybe, you know, if if if you had a team under you, maybe, and a team could look like you got a two or three kids. That could be your team. And the day before, they were arguing and whining and just a pain in the butt. And so, okay, today we're not carrying that over with us. So we're gonna set some new guidelines for today. Maybe they get in the car and they fight and say, Okay, today we're setting some new guidelines. You sit there, you sit there, don't touch her, don't touch him, keep your hands to yourself. And you only get five questions today, not 20. So we we try to set some new guidelines for our team. I mean, our team looks like our family, it looks like ourselves. Um, how do we manage ourselves in all the different areas that we're gonna talk about?

Self Evaluation And Taking Inventory

SPEAKER_00 16:01

And you know, a lot of times in different jobs, we're assessed isn't the right word. Maybe it is assessed. Can't think of the word, but anyhow, to making sure we're doing the right job, to make and make sure we're doing it right. And that's usually done by somebody that maybe is in leadership.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Evaluation.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Evaluation, thank you. Evaluation of how are we doing. And so sometimes, if you've ever been evaluated, maybe it's for a raise, maybe it's for just something you have to do yearly, whatever it is, um, a lot of times it'll be okay, you you got this, this, and this, and hey, this needs a little bit of work. If you have a really good leader, they're always gonna find something, which they should, because there always should be something that we can improve on. If you have a good leader, that leader can say, Wow, that's an outstanding job, but here's a few areas I think you could even excel more at. And and it what what happens when they do that to us? Do we get nervous when they're over there and we're doing our thing and we think, Am I doing it right? I don't know if I'm following it right. And they have the checkbox and they're writing down. It's kind of like, have you ever seen those movies where somebody's in the uh psychiatrist office and they're talking, and the psychiatrist is just writing like crazy, and they go, What are you writing? What are you saying about me? That's kind of like what it is when we're being doing an evaluation. But just like we're evaluated sometimes in our jobs by others, we should also evaluate ourselves. We should take inventory because just like you can't improve if you don't know how to get better. Like sometimes I watch videos or of myself talking, go, okay, I can do this better, I can do that better. I don't need to say that. Let me correct this. So we we should always be kind of taking inventory because we can't improve what we don't inspect. You know, when we back in the day, there was a guy, I can't remember his name, but he used to do car inspections when we had car inspections. It was a long time I was a kid, so I was 10 or 11. My dad would take him to this guy. I mean, it would be an hour. Like he'd get under the car with a flashlight, he'd check the the tire tread. I mean, he would your your windshield wipers, all I mean, the everything had to be perfect. Like you would go hoping you were gonna pass. It was like the biggest test you couldn't study for. And sometimes you wouldn't you wouldn't make it because you said this or this need to be fixed before you can come back. And but if you didn't know, you couldn't fix it. So if it's not being inspected from time to time, you can't improve it. So, you know, you have to become aware of maybe what's holding me back. What where am I thinking maybe small? Uh, where can I do bigger things? Maybe what triggers me? What where am I overreacting? Maybe it's in in a relationship. Where do I need to communicate better? Maybe there's a lack of communication. Where do I need to be a little more forgiving? And maybe it's in physical health. Am I treating my body like it matters? And so these are some questions that you might ask for relationships, for emotional, spiritual, physical, all the different things because if you're looking at an evaluation sheet, probably it has some labels on it. Different areas of your job, you know, maybe it's friendliness, maybe it's knowledge of job, maybe all the different things. And the same thing would be on our evaluation sheet. Maybe where are some areas that I could work on? And we have to ask ourselves those questions. And when we do that, sometimes we have to evaluate and say, okay, maybe I need to change some things. And then

Decluttering Old Labels And Excuses

SPEAKER_00 19:46

we have to let go of some old things. Because how often do you throw out old things? And why do you throw out old things?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

At our house, we get rid of all the old things.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Hey, I've been going through pants and old pants this week and get rid of them. Why? You don't need them. They take up space, and you're not gonna need it. They they don't fit, so they are just taking up space.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Exactly. They don't serve you any longer, so you get rid of them.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Um with the old and with the new.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Yes. I I mean, I almost I had to, I knew everybody wouldn't get my humor. So if if you haven't looked on Aaron's Angel's uh Facebook page, I wrote a little bio and Kim's about decluttering. And I was gonna make a joke and say, if I'm ever gone, it's because I got decluttered. But I didn't know, I didn't think everybody quite understand that. That maybe wasn't the place for it, so I didn't put it there. Because decluttering, if if I was standing still for too long, I probably wasn't needed, and so I'd get decluttered. I'm out the door. But typically that's what we do. We get rid of things that aren't serving us any longer, whether it's clothes, whether it's appliances, all different things that we get rid of. And so that's the same thing for us. Growth requires that we leave some things behind that we have to declutter, get rid of things that necessarily aren't serving us anymore. So maybe it's old excuses, old identities. This is part of my story, but this is not who I am. Old labels, we've talked about labels, old failures, old comfort zones. Some of those things that aren't serving your growth, they hit the door, they get decluttered. Those things that maybe, those things that you say, I'm just not disciplined, out the door. That's just how I am, out the door. It's not serving us. I've always struggled with this. Out the door, it's not serving us anymore. Our past may explain us, but it doesn't define us. And there's a difference. An explanation is you can kind of explain what's going on. A definition says it is this. If you look up definitions of dictionary, it says this word means this exact thing. If you were to explain that word, you would use some strong. Stories, some examples, some different things. So what explains you is not what defines you. So really it just takes if we're under new management daily for ourselves, it just takes

Small Changes And One Better Choice

SPEAKER_00 22:15

small changes. If a manager comes in and tries to change the team and make big things, there's going to be upheaval and there's going to be some rebellion. But if the manager changes little things, okay, I can do that. Okay, I can do that. And so the same thing is for us. If if we're managing our life, maybe it's a small change in emotional, maybe it's just a little bitty small change in your physical, maybe it's just a little small change in your emotional state. And so those small changes start to add up to big results. And how do you how do you lead a team effectively? You start making little changes and don't rock the boat, and you can get them to buy in along the way. It's just like if I can buy in like I did really good with this emotional change, then I bet I can do really good on this physical change. I bet I can do really good on this mental change. And so we start buying into undernew management that I get to manage myself. So, and that looks like just one better choice, one better thought, one better conversation, one better habit, one better response. When the car is right on you, you just give them a wave. That could be a better response. But just like we saw or heard, that could be very challenging at times. And so it really takes a lot of work. I'm not picking on Kelly, but that it that can be we've all been there. But really, and that's exactly right, like Kim said. We have all been there, and that's what real life looks like. We can talk about it, but in the moment, it is really hard and really challenging. And that's what real life looks like. It's the best example we could have had.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

It's not a friendly wave.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

It's not, it's not a friendly wave sometimes. It's the words and the motion because maybe they didn't hear the words, so let me give them the sign language to back up what I'm saying. Because maybe they're not lip readers either.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

I didn't give them the sign language.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

I just told them what I thought. And it makes you feel better. So the challenge is really what little small thing can you do to start creating new management? New management and new management again encompasses our whole life. So it might just be in one little area and then another little area because we do manage our whole life of the people that are in it, the things we do, the work we do, all of those things. And so, how do we want to show up in all those different areas as we manage ourselves? Because sometimes it is harder to lead ourselves than it is others. It's very challenging.

Closing And Next Time

SPEAKER_00 24:52

And thank you, V2, for joining us on sit and talk. I look forward to seeing you right here next time on sit and talk.