SoulFit: Become a Women of Influence

We challenge the idea that influence belongs to people with big platforms and redefine leadership as the impact we make on one person at a time. Using Proverbs 31 and everyday moments, we choose intentional character and kindness so we leave people better than we found them. 
• defining influence as everyday leadership in relationships 
• grounding influence in Proverbs 31: strength, dignity, and wisdom 
• naming the traits that make people feel cared for and built up 
• rejecting the “I’m just” mindset in motherhood work and behind-the-scenes roles 
• recognizing influence in texts, smiles, and ordinary conversations 
• prioritizing character when nobody is watching 
• trusting consistency more than perfection 
• practicing small faithfulness that grows into big impact 
• leading by example through adversity, setbacks, and uncertainty 
• choosing to make people feel seen and understood

https://aarondegler.com/

Transcript

Welcome And Weekly Call Format

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome Sophie. Thanks for taking a little time to join us. Each week we just join our live call as I share a little scripture, a little message, and and how we make it applicable to our life. So let's join our live call. So this is our fifth week of our series of strong women, soft hearts. So this week we're going to talk a little bit about becoming a woman of influence.

Redefining Influence Beyond Followers

SPEAKER_00 0:30

If we think we don't have influence as we talk about it, as we talk about influence, really influence, if we talk about leadership, leadership is just really having influence over one other person and how that looks. And we're going to talk a little bit about being a woman of influence. Many times we don't think of ourselves, we think of influencers, because influencers, social media has taught us that influencers, you have to have tens of thousands of followers to be an influencer. But I bet if you counted the number of people you come in contact with, it's a lot. And we are influencers. And if we don't think that, then we're going to talk about that how we are and how we become more of an influencer. Without the social media presence or without the following of thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions. How do we be an influencer in our world? Again, our world that's around us, not the world.

Proverbs 31 Strength And Dignity

SPEAKER_00 1:38

So kind of the scripture we're going to talk about today is in Proverbs. It's Proverbs 31, 25 through 31. I'm going to read that scripture first, and then we'll kind of get into some of the other things that we're going to talk about. But it says, She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. She speaks wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. So there's a lot of things in that. We're gonna talk about some of them, but isn't it interesting that in there it says, Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting? And then later on it says, Her works bring her praise at the city gate. So it's those things we do that maybe no one sees. It's a person that we are that it's not because we have a bunch of TikTok followers or Instagram followers, it's none of that, it's the the people we come in contact with. And we really influence people all the all the time. Um if

What Makes Someone Truly Influential

SPEAKER_00 3:12

you think of somebody that influenced you, think of somebody in your life, not on social media or on YouTube, but that you know. That you know, and think about how they've influenced you, in other words, how they made a positive impact on your life. And as you think about that, I want you to think about what made that person, it can be him or her, but what made that person so influential? If you think about the different things that they did that made them influential on your life, chances are you might say they were a good listener, they were a good encourager, they prayed for you, they believed in you, they were kind, they led by example, maybe they were authentic. We might say some of those things, but as you think about it, the person that was an influence on your life, you're probably not gonna say they had a big house, they had a really nice car, they had the perfect life. Those are those are things that probably aren't gonna be influential to you as a person. A lot of times what we see on social media is what it is kind of in that scripture when it talked about beauty is fleeting. Look at all I got. You too can have this if you do these three simple steps. But when we when we really talk about people that are influential, how were they towards us? If you think about a friend, why are they a good friend? And you might and you probably well, they got a really nice house. I like going to eat dinner at their house, or they got a nice car and I like riding in their car. Probably those things aren't what you're saying. They're probably saying some of the things that we talked about. She's kind, she believes in me, she'll pray with me, she'll encourage me, she'll lift me up. It's those things that we talk about that are being influential, and all of those things that I mentioned that if you think of that person influenced you, don't we all have that ability to have those things that we can be kind, we can encourage, we can share positive words, we can do all of those things ourselves, so we are easily able to influence others. I think

Stop Saying You Are Just

SPEAKER_00 5:52

sometimes we underestimate our influence. Have you ever thought have you might hear people say women say I'm just a mom? That you know that boggles my mind that you say just because there's so much that goes into that, it's unfathomable. Maybe I'm just a teacher or whatever your work is, I'm just this, I'm just this kind of worker. Sometimes I'm just retired. There's nothing I can do, I'm just retired. And and sometimes it's well, I just do the work behind the scenes. Maybe it's at a church and nobody sees all the things. I I'm just behind the scenes kind of person. And the thing is, when we say those things, there's no just. It's not, it's not easy as it's just. What does even just mean? Just a mother, just a wife. There's more, there's what does that even mean? That means sometimes we're like, well, there's nothing special to it, is really what we're saying. But really, in those things, and all those things I've mentioned, it's really we have influence in every conversation we have, every single conversation that we carry on with another person. We have the ability to influence in a positive or negative way. We have the ability to influence that person through a text. You have ability to influence through that text. It might make somebody happy, it might make somebody cry, it might make somebody smile, it might make somebody mad. All of those are influencing the other person. A smile at a checkout, at a drive-thru, passing somebody, a smile is an influence, being kind. How do you respond to adversity? All of those is influence to somebody. Whether we realize it or not, someone is always watching how we live, and that's influence. Whether you think nobody cares, what am I doing? People are always watching, they're always looking. And

Character And Consistency Under Pressure

SPEAKER_00 8:11

really, influence sometimes begins with who you're becoming. In Proverbs 31:25, it says she is clothed, clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. You know, it doesn't say that she put on strength, it says she's already clothed with it, already has it on. It's already there, available. And it's simply kind of like character. We already have character, it's not something we turn on when people are watching, it's really who we are. Character is who we are when no one's watching. We're gonna do the exact same thing when nobody's looking as we do when somebody's looking, and that is our true character. When somebody does something just for show, we know that is not their true character. And many times people are more influenced by our consistency than our perfection. Are we consistently showing up? Maybe sometimes we show up messy, but are we showing up? And are we consistently doing that in a manner that can influence them? And who we're becoming is really about when no one else is looking. When nobody else is looking, who are we becoming? You know, how are we being developed? And that really part of that comes through some of the things we do, some of the things such as small faithfulness. Small

Small Faithfulness In Ordinary Moments

SPEAKER_00 9:46

faithfulness can create big influences. Think about it. You know, to influence, we don't need a huge platform. In Luke 16, 10 it says, Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. And whoever whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Again, that's character, and it's small faithfulness, the small things that we can be trusted with can create a big influence. Influence really does happen through the ordinary moments. We talk about the we've talked about purpose and purpose in the ordinary, and this kind of goes hand in hand with how influence works. It happens in the ordinary moments. The the ordinary moments that you teach a child something, you talk to a child in the manner that you talk to them, in the manner that you respond to your spouse, to someone in the checkout line, to someone bringing the groceries to your door. How do you respond? Maybe it's somebody you work with. They just happen in the ordinary, and sometimes those ordinary moments get glossed over because those can be influence consistently creates that big influence, another or our small faithfulness. Are we showing up? Are we doing the things? It may not be a big thing, it might just be a quick text that says, Hey, thinking about you today. It might be just a wave, just a smile, just a hand on the back saying, How are you doing today? It might just be instead of do you need anything, it might be, hey, I noticed this and this is what I did for you. Maybe the need is filled before it's ever asked for. And it's those small acts of obedience that can create big influence, can create big return.

Leading By Example At The Ballfields

SPEAKER_00 11:47

And and and the greatest influence is by our example. Because, like I mentioned, people are always watching, somebody's always watching. I've mentioned this story numerous times. When I first started training, I got a phone call from a guy, and he wanted to start training with me. He said, I saw you out at the ball fields when the kids were little and they were playing ball. And he said, You know, I want to do what you're doing. Like, in other words, I'd lost weight and he wanted to do that and get in shape. And I said, Okay. And when he called me and told me that, he said, and it has always stuck with me. It's always been a reminder to me that people are always watching. I was just out there doing whatever baseball, t-ball, softball dad does, walking around. I wasn't very smart when it comes to sports, so I was probably sitting in the stands, but I was just being my normal thing. But he noticed I was an example, and that example, that small thing that I did, turned into 18 years of influence. He was my client for 18 years that I had influence over numerous times a week to talk about exercise, diet, life, all of the things because of my example. And we all have those. We all have those. But it just always has ingrained in me the importance of people are watching and being the example. And what kind of example do we want to show up as? Good or bad, we have that option, we have that choice, but how do we want to influence? What do we want to show up as? Again, it wasn't anything that I was perfect or anything like that. It was just I showed up and was an example. And those things look like maybe how do we respond when life gets hard? How do we treat difficult people, difficult situations, disappointment, setbacks? How do we talk to ourselves? You know, how do we trust in God during uncertain times? How do we do all those things? And and we share those things, and those become point of influence. We've

Ruth And Quiet Obedience

SPEAKER_00 13:57

talked about Ruth and and and her quiet influence. It was a very quiet influence. She wasn't famous, she wasn't wealthy, she wasn't powerful, she just remained faithful. She loved Naomi, she worked diligently, she trusted God, she did all of these things and had quiet obedience and became part of God's plan, as we've talked about eventually in the lineage of Jesus, because she had quiet obedience. I think sometimes we think obedience has to be flashy, it doesn't have to be flashy. Again, character sometimes is the things that people never see, and how powerful that we can have quiet obedience and what kind of impact that can make on our lives and other people's lives. It's pretty amazing. And

Leave People Better Than Found

SPEAKER_00 14:51

I think as we speak of becoming a person of influence, we should always think when we come in contact with people, we have a sign on the wall that says, leave it better than you found it. But instead of it, we say it because you might be in a place where you whatever you find outside, somewhere you go, it's an it. But we should do the same with people and replace it with people. Leave people better than you found them. That is in, and that doesn't mean you have to give out money. It doesn't require any talent. You don't have to have a special talent to leave them better than you found them. But it what it does require, same as leaving it better than you found it, to leave people better than you found it requires intentionality. Every meeting, every encounter, whether it's on the phone, whether it's a text, whether it's an actual interaction, is an opportunity to influence. But we have to be intentional. And if we just ask ourselves this, and trust me, it's not always easy to leave somebody better than you found them. Because sometimes things don't go right, and you get really irritated and you get really mad, and smoke starts coming out of your ears, and you go, How am I going to leave this better than I found them? What am I going to do? And that all depends on your situation, what you're doing. But the thought hopefully will cross your mind. How do I leave this better than in a file? Because at this moment, I have the potential to influence this person. Influence in a mirror, wow, she flew off the handle, or this was a big problem, and she just handled it so well and was so calm. Because a lot of times we might get worked up, but does that make does that ever make the biggest difference? A lot of times we might walk away from it. It didn't make that big a difference, and we feel kind of crummy how we acted. Again, because character, how do you find out your character? If you screw squeeze an orange, you get out orange juice. So when you're squeezed, you will find out what your true character is. And so, in that squeezing, if you don't like what came out, then it may be time to change that character a little bit. But maybe the question is, you know, how do I leave them better than I found them? And sometimes our greatest ministry in life can simply be making someone feel seen. And so many times when we leave somebody better than we found them, we leave them feeling seen. Whether it's feeling seen emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever it is, we leave them being seen in some way. I understand you is really what I see you means. I understand what you're going through, what is on your mind, how you're feeling. So the challenge as we go out is how do we influence others? Because we do influence. And the challenge is can we do that in an intentional manner? Instead of again, just allowing our influence to be willy-nilly. How can we be intentional about that influence? Again, because as I said in Proverbs 25, she is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. Why can you laugh at the days to come? Because you have the strength and dignity. It's already on. It is already on. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. What's coming off your tongue? Whatever we comes off our tongue influences. However, we act influences. So that is really the challenge is we influence people every day. When when we get done here, you're gonna have some sort of interaction probably in the next hour through a text, phone call, seeing somebody. How will you influence the next person you come in contact with? What will that look like? We don't have to wait until it's later tonight and we see our kids or see our spouse or see a friend. We can do it to the very next person that we may not even know that we come in contact with. So the challenge is you are a woman of influence. What kind of woman of influence do you want to become or continue to be? Is the question.

Closing Prayer And Weekend Challenge

SPEAKER_00 19:40

So I'm gonna finish this up in prayer and then we can go on about our wonderful weekend. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for bringing each one of us together today. I just pray that as we leave here, you just touch our hearts and and and our relationships and the conversations we have, that we could be that influence, that you would have us be, that that your words, your example speaks through us and shows to others that we can influence them in a manner that would be pleasing to you, and that we continue to walk in that path and lead others to youth by our example and by our words. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. Thank you, everybody. Hope you have an amazing weekend, and I'll see everybody next week. Thank you all, and thank you, DVTU, for joining us on SoulFit. I look forward to seeing you right here next time on SoulFit.