Health Longevity Secrets

What If The Pain Is Actually The Fuel? — Ben Barbic

• Robert Lufkin MD • Episode 273

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0:00 | 42:05

What if the pain you've been trying to escape is actually the fuel you've been looking for? Recording artist Ben Barbic walked away from alcohol, nicotine, and blood pressure medications at 28 — and built a 15-year operating system for resilience.

In this episode of Health Longevity Secrets, Robert Lufkin MD sits down with Ben Barbic — chart-climbing reggae and hip-hop recording artist, San Jose-based studio owner of Where Dreams Sail Studios, and author of the new memoir Rise and Climb: Finding Purpose Through Pain (Skyhorse Publishing / Simon & Schuster, October 15). They talk about the night his childhood home burned down, the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake that destroyed his family's second house, the teddy bear from his young son that triggered his sobriety pivot, the redwood-tree metaphor on the book cover, kirtan and chakra meditation as his entry point to a calmer mind, and how very small daily choices — a single five-minute habit — compound into a completely different life.

CHAPTERS:

  • 00:00 — Introduction
  • 01:08 — Meet Ben Barbic: Recording Artist, Author, and Self-Builder
  • 02:00 — Childhood Trauma: When the House Burned Down
  • 03:00 — The 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake and the Power of Rebuilding
  • 04:01 — Why Music Became His First Anchor as a Child
  • 05:02 — The 28th Birthday Pivot: Walking Away from Alcohol and Nicotine
  • 06:02 — The Subtraction-Then-Addition Method for Habit Change
  • 07:03 — Quitting Blood Pressure Medications and Treating the Root Cause
  • 09:04 — The Teddy Bear Moment: How His Son Triggered the Pivot
  • 12:04 — Why Tiny Five-Minute Habits Beat Big Resolutions
  • 14:05 — The First Three Habits He Added After Sobriety
  • 17:07 — Kirtan and Chakra Meditation: A Beginner's Path
  • 19:08 — Music, Memory, and the Brain's Storytelling Pathways
  • 24:09 — Writing a Memoir: The Hardest Part Is Vulnerability
  • 27:10 — Three Lessons for Self-Builders and High Performers
  • 30:11 — The Redwood Tree Metaphor on the Book Cover
  • 31:11 — Victim Mindset vs Agency: How to Reframe Adversity
  • 32:11 — Redefining Success: From Catching Up to Contributing
  • 36:12 — The Empty-Nest Pivot and the Next 5 Years
  • 38:13 — Final Thoughts: Pursue What Gives You Purpose

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • Subtract before you add — remove the drainers first, then layer in new habits.
  • Hypertension is rarely solved by stacking more meds — change the upstream inputs and the numbers follow.
  • The pivot moment usually has a single concrete trigger.
  • Five minutes is enough — compounding does the rest.
  • Kirtan plus chakra meditation is a friendly entry point for musicians.
  • Redwood trees regrow tall around old burn scars.
  • Define success by what you can contribute, not by who you can catch up to.

LINKS & SOURCES:

📖 Dr. Lufkin's book Lies I Taught in Medical School: https://robertlufkinmd.com/lies/
📰 Substack: robertlufkinmd.substack.com
🌐 Website: robertlufkinmd.com

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A Wake Up Call For Change

SPEAKER_02

Um one of these is I got such strength. I I had a uh a son when I was young, when I was twenty-two, and um my girlfriend at the time and my son made me this little teddy bear, and when you when you squeeze the hand, it said, uh, we love you, daddy. And when I squeezed that, I looked at the example I was setting for my son. I looked at how far I had drifted off of who I am and who I really believed that in my core I'm supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to the Health Longevity Secrets Show, where we push the limits of human potential and unlock the secrets to our health and longevity with your host, Dr. Robert Lovkin.

SPEAKER_01

What if the pain you've been trying to escape is actually the fuel you've been looking for? Today's guest is Ben Barbick, a chart climbing recording artist and author of the new memoir, Rise and Climb: Finding Purpose Through Pain. At 28 Ben walked away from alcohol, nicotine, and blood pressure medications, and built a 15-year operating system for resilience out of music, meditation, movement, and very small daily choices. We get into the pivot moment, the Redwood tree metaphor that sits on his book cover and how to turn a low point into a launch pad. This is one I don't think you want to miss.

SPEAKER_00

And now, please enjoy this week's episode.

SPEAKER_01

Hey Ben, welcome to the program.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, thanks for having me on.

SPEAKER_01

Really your your life story. It's it's you know, it's it's both inspiring and and unconventional, from balancing like day-to-day responsibilities to to building this life around creativity. So maybe, maybe walk us through uh how that journey happened and all the stuff with music, creative expression. Uh I tell us a little bit about who you are.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

Childhood Loss And The Rebuild

SPEAKER_02

Well, I think it would probably be best to just start in the beginning of the story because I think the core of what kind of assembled my mentality for life uh was in my earliest childhood. And when I was five, um, our house burnt down. My parents lost their business in motorcycle dealerships, and we lived in a trailer. And the world that I had got stripped down to pretty much nothing except barren trees and burnt trees around me. So observationally, I saw a lot of loss. Um, what I saw also was the rebuild. So when you have a core moment of loss or something that really affects you, what's the mentality to pivot out of that? And so I was felt very much a part of our rebuilding of our home. Uh very much a part of what that felt like to take loss and to take it and flip it into something where you create almost a growth mentality. Um three years later, an earthquake destroyed our new house. And so what happened in that is uh, and this is on the Santa Cruz Mountains. So uh, you know, 1985 fire uh or in 1989 uh Loma Prieta earthquake. And I lived on uh Loma Prieta. I was right, we were right there where the earthquake happened. And so what that core taught me is something negative happens, something difficult happens, and you rebuild and you and you pivot off of a uh a low moment and you create what you can out of it. And when that happened, my num my my number one core anchor was music. And from a young age, I was getting lost in the music. I was I was using the music as to create a world for myself um amongst the chaos. And so it was something that I could control. It was it was a world that I could go into, I can interact with, and no matter what was happening, outside I can control. And the core philosophy that I that I built from was that it wasn't it wasn't clear. The purpose wasn't clear yet. Life had to life had to do some things that really continued me on that journey. Um, but the seed was planted, right? And so through my life, I had this seed, I had a couple fundamental anchors with with music, with weightlifting that gave me some strength, but I was still a child and I was still not taking control of my life yet. I

The 28th Birthday Pivot

SPEAKER_02

was letting life dictate where it was taking me. I wasn't I wasn't adhering to the core principle that I viewed as a as a kid. And so around on my 28th birthday, I had a low moment where I looked around and everything seemed in dysfunction. I wasn't building the life that I wanted. I wasn't making decisions daily that were for improvement. I wasn't getting behind the things that I knew in my core I should be doing. And so, you know, there was a moment of change. There was a low moment where I was faced with what I believe is a situation where you either in life make a pivot, decide to make change in your life, or you kind of accept the direction that you're going. And you kind of are saying, okay, this is gonna be uh, you know, how my life is gonna go. And I just there was something inside of me that flipped on that birthday where I decided that I was gonna first remove all of the negative things that I had been doing, whether that's eating bad, you know, drinking too much, chewing tobacco, not exercising, not socializing in the right environments. I needed to remove things first. So it was like after I removed the things, I started adding. And it was in that addition that the growth and mentality that I have now was formed um over 15 years ago. And so it was in that pivot moment that the fundamental principles of my life were formed. And so, you know, it becomes anchors, it becomes anchors for your life. And so, uh, you know, meditation, eating right, um, taking care of your your mental health, taking care of your physical health, um, nurturing your creative habits, nurturing the music, um, going back to school, uh, starting to read. And so it was like I started to really find so much enthusiasm in these habits and these anchors that I was putting in my life. And I noticed them continuing to lead me towards thriving. And it was this feeling that um, you know, my early, early childhood had had these feelings of joy. And I was not only returning to some of that, but I was enhancing it through my own actions, through my own journey, through my own successes. And then things just kind of kept going, and music started to become more successful, and I started to get to travel around for music and you know, um, going back and graduating from college with honors, and you know, there was just all these seeds that I was just taking it day by day, you know, I was just taking it day by day. And um one of the pieces that I liked a lot about your book, and I could connect to was that moment where you know, you get a health diagnosis and you're like, wait, um this isn't right, you know, and and I didn't have the expertise that you have in any way, but it was a moment where you know I had hypertension as well, and it was like they put me on two or three medicines and it wasn't fixing it. So it was like, hmm, okay, maybe I need to take control of this, maybe I need to look at what it is that that that's the problem, not the band-aid, and go after this and fix this thing and figure out why. Why am I in hypertension? You know, what is it about the foods I'm eating that are that are difficult? And so um, you know, this is a little long-winded explanation to you, but I think that this is how I this is the general arc to what became what I am now, and then from that, um what I am excited to share and and you know, contribute what I can uh to people that might be in a similar place that I was, might need to be making, you know, changes in life. They might be big changes or they might be small.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's such such an amazing story. And I want to get into um get into your transformation and the tools that you were able to use to be so successful and in really turning your life around. Um But before we do that, just just that that one moment that that is is truly an inspiration when you know so many people face challenges and adversity in their lives, and they just they let it they let it uh get them down and they never come out of it. You know, it's basically that becomes who they are, that's their life. And at that one moment, what what was it do you think that allowed you to pivot there and actually begin the journey of transformation and everything? What is that one, if you could distill it down to something, what is it and and how can we get other people to access that magical moment, you know, when you just said, hey, maybe it doesn't have to be this way, you know, it's sort of like my journey too. I mean, thank you for bringing that up. I'm gonna I'm gonna think about that one for a while.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean and and and I think it's it's um it's a multi-faceted answer. Um, one of these is I got such strength. I I had a uh a son when I was young, when I was 22, and um my girlfriend at the time and my son made me this little teddy bear. And when you when you squeeze the hand, it said, uh, we love you, daddy. And when I squeezed that, I looked at the example I was setting for my son. I looked at how far I had drifted off of who I am and who I really believed that in my core I'm supposed to be. And I was just so uncomfortable and so maybe disappointed in what my life had become that it was it was too uncomfortable for me to continue that direction. It was it was like this, I'm not willing to go through life in this place. And I didn't look at it like long ago 15 years, I looked at it like just day day to day, right? And said I need to start with small changes now. And I was motivated to do it for those around me and for myself. Um because at its core, I think we we can feel it. You know, we can feel that barometer when we're a little off track, right? It's like there's something inside where you could ignore it. I was ignoring it, but you can feel when you're not you know hanging out in the right environments, you're not making the right decisions, or the anger inside's growing too much, or you're not nurturing the things that you love, um, whether that's you know, talents, passions, work, family, whatever it is, when you're not nurturing it properly. And so to me, it was it was it was really just that. It was you know, needing to correct this and saying, I am not, I am not this, and I'm willing to do the things it takes to correct this. Um, and not I I think it's really critical to not look at it like this giant undertaking, but just take things by one day. Just wake up that next day and uh, you know, start reading or start exercising or start watching good podcasts. It could be it could be just one thing, it could be just five minutes. It doesn't it doesn't have to be this stack of them or anything like that, but you know that'll grow on itself, right? Like the it it it's it's like planting a seed in the soil. It's just it's just the little seed will grow. And so um, so that's uh again, a little long-winded for your for your your question, you know. So uh, but that I'm I'm passionate about that moment, and I think it's really interesting to look at whoever it is, what that moment looks like. Because I think we all we all I have a lot of them, you know, micro versions of that. Uh, but that was my major one, right? But it's just like, all right, this is a pivot moment. Like, are you gonna are you gonna do what you feel you should do? Are you gonna listen to it? You know, um, I'm fascinated with that concept, really am.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's it, it's it's beautiful what you mentioned, and and that you're you that you you turn to your child at one point and that that that input because it it mirrors sort of what happened to me. I kind of I got the diagnosis with these diseases, and I'm going, well, that's a bummer, you know. It's like you know, but that's that's who I am. I you know, I know people get diseases and I, you know, deal with it every day in my job. And but then I I started thinking about my kids, they were so young, and and you know, it wasn't gonna end well for the you know, for the whole experience. And that that was part of the the pivot for me too. And and um, but just yeah, what you said, it's interesting that we all have the power to reframe our experience in the world and who we are by just the way we choose to define ourselves, really. It's the way we see the world, the way we frame what happens to us. It can either be, you know, a failure or an opportunity, you know, and and uh and uh I love what you're doing. So, what what were some of the first steps? You mentioned these micro steps. Maybe just take us through the beginning of the transformation, if you could, and and how it kind of took off from there.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. So

Removing Vices And Adding Anchors

SPEAKER_02

so the first, the very first things I did was uh removal of vices, right? So take out drinking, took out nicotine, right? Uh took out uh bad foods, right? And so I started with those is the core habits. Then I added in um some things that were important for my growth. So it was it was more dedicated, true dedication to music, you know, getting in with other musicians, cultivating that that tribe amongst it. Um I remember I I went back to college, and you know, the first class that I clicked, you know, join the class, it felt so amazing because it was like this thing that I never finished, never put in what I wanted to, um, was now activated. And so I started going to school uh and getting my degree and uh I started running. I remember I went to a track and I was like, a friend of mine's like, you should do half marathons. And I was like, oh, I don't I haven't ran a long time. And I and I was like, all right, if I go to the track and I can run four miles and and be okay, then I'll give it a go. And so I started just adding in these little tests of like, all right, let me let me give it a go. And and the and so I I just kind of kept kept putting those in place, you know, just just these little these little markers in place to kind of keep keep the momentum going. Um and then, you know, there's just a lot of different aspects to it down the road. But I think the core things at the beginning are little tiny activities that spark excitement in you a different direction, right? So instead of the escapism of having a drink or whatever, you do these little things that give you that blip of like, oh, okay, you know, this this actually this is pretty great. This this this this feels like I'm building on something instead of, you know, like you're either getting better or worse at any time, right? On things. Like it's nothing's really stagnant. You're either going this way or this way. And so to me, it was like I was fascinated with that concept at the time too, of like little, little tiny uh improvements. So that's the general um original uh blueprint that I worked off of was within that was within that category. I I started, I stopped going out, I started to just really focus on me, my family, my my my progress, and I just started getting really excited about it. Um and I started going really pretty deep into uh meditation as well. I think that was a a very important piece for me because you know, when the mind's unsettled and and things, it's like meditation can be such a beautiful uh way to find a little clarity and and kind of take that through your day. And so that was a big part uh of the original core, is is just you know, it's the same thing, it's just a couple minutes, you get it done, you know, just find something on YouTube and and go for it. And and it's like, and so to me, those were very um, very important um building blocks that yeah, that really helped.

Meditation That Actually Stuck

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, meditation's a powerful tool for so many people, and there and there's so many different pathways out there on the internet or different different schools of doing it. Just out of curiosity, which which did you find uh most uh powerful for you uh as a beginner who'd never done it before and kind of uh go in? What was your path on that?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, to me, I I was I was really behind um, I don't know if you're familiar with Kirtan music, but it's a it's a it's a music to kind of prep the mind for meditation. And so to me, uh as a musician, uh I really enjoyed Kirtan music to prep the mind and then chakra meditation, and when where you just you're focusing on shapes and colors and you're going through the body because it gave me a place for the mind to anchor that really um I connected to. Uh just just it just worked for me very well. And so um that combination um was a was a game changer for me. Um and I think you know, for me, I kind of I I got really into it. So I started uh traveling around, uh playing the hand drum, doing Kirtan music, and really being a part of uh, you know, meditation because it was it was just what I needed. It it felt so fresh to have something so like pure and calming versus other ways to live life, right? It just it was such a new feeling to be uh living in that space of of the calm and kind of you know, like when I was a kid or a long time, I'd have night terrors and like I'd wake up and I'd kick the wall and you know, my head, foot's all bloody and things. And it was like my dreams started shifting to like positive dreams. And I was like, wow, you know, this is interesting. Um I never really had dreams that were enjoyable like this, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah, it's well, yeah. I love

Turning Music Into Meaning

SPEAKER_01

that you're a musician too, and you actually create music and you're a successful uh performer and creator of music. And so music, music and storytelling they share overlapping pathways in in the brain with both you know memory and emotion. So when when listeners listen to your songs and and now read your words, what do you hope they can take away in terms of meaning and action?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, to me, I try and speak on whatever I'm feeling or living. And so I think because it comes from a place of whatever I'm dealing with or whatever I'm experiencing, uh, or in the book, you know, I hope the listener or the reader finds something within it that they connect with and can, you know, inspire them in some way or connect with in some way where they're like, oh, you know, I'm feeling I'm feeling motivated, or I'm feeling a little bit more uh ambitious, or I'm feeling a little bit more uh like going after whatever it is they like. And so my music tends to be about overcoming, it tends to be about pushing forward in life, it tends to just be about the concepts that have helped me in life and helped me get through my days. And so um, you know, if the reader has even the most subtle feeling after they read the book of like, ah, I really I always wanted to write a book. Let me let me try this out, or you know, whatever it is, uh what whatever it is, if there could be some little seed that they're just like, yeah, that that actually that was well timed for me. I think I'm gonna try and do this thing. Or if they're listening to the music and uh they connect to it in the same way and they can, you know, that that's really I think that's the ultimate thing that you know I strive for in this and why why I wrote it. I mean that's you know, that's a little different topic, but that that's you know, um that's what I wrote it for originally was, you know, like I was sitting in an airport going to do a show, and I just started writing in my phone eight years ago. And then I started seeing these core core concepts, right? The premise, the The through line of my life. And I'm like, whoa, okay, that that has something in it. And then, and then through writing the book and rewriting it, and as you know, and keep keeping on that progress, I started to see a lot more that I can offer. And then I was willing to offer more. Because originally, you know, I wasn't comfortable offering my life like I did in the book, right? It it took a lot for me to grow into what I ultimately wrote with Rise and Climb. Like it it was a lot of development and understanding to say, okay, if you're gonna write this and and people are gonna take the time to read it, I need to give them who I am. You know, I I can't cheat the reader. That's not fair to the reader. And I know you did that because I I I read your book and I loved it. And I you you gave it to us. You gave us you. And that's that's what ultimately I'm trying to do is the same same concept of uh, you know, this is me. This is this is my journey, and this is my thoughts and what I've learned along the way. And and just give it like that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, as as we as we talk about this this fascinating journey of yours, Ben, and the transformation you've had, it's almost like you were uh you you kind of you came to realize you're the artist within you, whether it's producing music or or words on the paper or just living your life in a in a healthy, fulfilling manner, the artistry of that even and sort of blossomed uh through that through that whole thing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, you yeah, absolutely, absolutely. When we and we find, you know, we find who we are within that too, right? It's like I I feel searching and and and like you just said, what once you kind of can tap into that, the art to me is so much better because it, you know, once the guardrails in art come off that in the true expression comes out, it's like I think the audience can feel that. And and the same in a book. It's like you could feel when the author is kind of holding back, they're not quite giving you giving you who they are, or when they're just like, no, this is my this is it, this is my story. I'm gonna go ahead and give this to you. You know, it's just I find it so refreshing. It's kind of music I like too, is just people that really give us, I want to know who you are. You know, I want to hear, I want to hear what you're dealing with in the music I listen to. So um, yeah.

Writing A Memoir Without Holding Back

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, I I love your book, Rise and Climb is the title of it, as you said. It's gonna be coming out right around this podcast. We'll have in the show notes uh exactly the launch date. Uh well, no, actually we know the launch date is October 15th. So yeah, and then the that'll be right around now as you're as you're hearing this, and you can get it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, everywhere like that. Uh independent bookstores, of course. But uh the I love the book because it blends your personal narrative with these these high-performance lessons. So I'm one curious, what was the hardest part of writing a book? Like, was it vulnerability or structure? And what did you learn about your own life story going through this process?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, the the the question has so many layers to it because uh as a new writer, uh the the the process of writing has has so many like the first draft's done, and then you and then I thought, oh, uh my book's done, you know. No, no, no, that was four or five years ago, right? And so as as as it developed, uh one of the hardest parts, I think, of writing a book is going A to Z and then having to go back to A and then and then change the schematic from A to Z again, and then saying, Oh, you know, there's something else in there missing. And so as that through line is being developed, the absolute hardest part is acknowledging what what matters and what doesn't matter, and what was put in there that maybe was like uh name-dropping, or it seemed like it was a good story, but what underneath it wasn't the story. The story was actually, you know, this other thing, um, the lesson that was learned, maybe, or you know, the I I think that was a very difficult part of writing. And then once it's done, the ultimate difficult part is understanding that you're that I'm putting myself in who in my real form out to the world. And I think that that that at its core is the challenge uh of an author uh who writes a you know memoir motivational book, right? Is is that um I I kind of I wrote a song about this. It's it's like you cross the point and no return with it. You decide that you're gonna now be okay with giving this to the public. You're okay with giving who you are uh over. And I think that's um ultimately, I think that's the hardest part in writing a book uh win about your life and in you know nonfiction is is that moment of uh I'm gonna be giving this um because I believe there's some things in here that I'd like to share, you know. And I think that at its core, you know, you have to endure through all the writing and all the edits and all the criticisms in the early copies, and then you know, go back to the drawing board, keep it right. And uh, but I think that that stands out to me as the biggest thing because in music you're giving music, but you're not giving the whole story, you're you're presenting a piece of art, you're not, you know, you're not giving a 200-page backstory of of the author, right? And so uh that's that's the ch that's the difference, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Hey you, I mean, you've you've talked about rise and climb as a tool for self-builders and and even high performers.

Learn Always And Use Pain

SPEAKER_01

So what's maybe what's the main breakthrough or inside of the book that you could that you believe could be life-changing if if people applied this consistently in others?

SPEAKER_02

So I think there's a threefold to that. Um one that I didn't talk about yet at any way is to never stop learning, right? To to to always be learning within whatever it is that you're doing and always be curious in it. Um I I think that is one of the fundamental principles that uh all of this other stuff that I'm gonna say after is built off of. It's it's all right, I'm a sound engineer. I want to continue to grow and build as a sound engineer or build as an author and you know, um, continue to read a lot of books. You know, I I read every morning without fail because it it it helps me to always be learning, and and in a lot of ways, it it helps, you know, keep the mind sharp. And and you're always having I'm always looking for like those aha moments within books, right? Like, ah, there it is, that's gold. And I, you know, I highlight it and then I save it, and I'm like, ah, the book, just that one thing was worth reading this book, right? And uh, so I think that's one of them. The the the other part that I I do uh adhere to and really think I'd I'd like to hopefully convey to people is you know to find the fuel within the pain and the difficulties in life. I just I just think that uncomfortableness that comes from dealing with whatever it is you're dealing with, um there's fuel within that. And so if we're able to take the losses or the hardships and say, you know, double down, flip that switch inside, and use and just kind of change that from something that is out of our control and trying to uh put it in control and and use it uh to our benefit because you know I I just feel like there's there's this uncomfortable feeling when things happen. And if we can utilize that energy, it's like you can you can harness it, and then you could use it for the things that you're trying to go for. So that being said, the third part is um having those anchors in life that you can then that you can then apply this to, right? Those those senses of purpose. It could be family and nurturing that, it could be legacy stuff, it could be uh writing, it could be music, it could be uh fitness. The the anchors and the the sense of purpose, there's a lot of different ways to channel that. And I think if we have those and a general idea of what those are for ourselves and we keep exploring them, um we can we're better able to use that fuel when bad things happen. You know, we're able to to harness it a little bit. And uh I I just I I grew up in the mountains, and one of the stories that I tell in the book is, you know, there was a lot of redwood trees about around where I lived. There's these towering, 10-story high redwood trees everywhere. And you know, the fire burnt them and we're over 30 years later, and they still show the scars, they still show the you know the burnt bark, but they're now towering trees. And to me, that's the ultimate metaphor for life is they show the scars, right? In a way they embrace them, but now there are these magnificent trees at the top of the canopy. And so I always look at that as is one of the examples, is why on the cover of the book, I actually have myself walking down the street I grew up on, because those trees in the background still have the burnt marks from my childhood. And I thought, this is it, you know, this is this is this is what connects to me is amongst these trees, and here we are over 30 years later, right?

SPEAKER_01

And uh yeah, yeah, it's almost yeah, I I love that it's almost like um sort of when things happen to us, do we take the the position of I'm a victim and these things are happening to me, or do I have agency in my life? And even though bad things are happening to me, I can ask, what what am I learning from these? You know, what am I being taught? It everything everything is a learning experience, potentially. That's exactly right. And we move on and we gain from every experience, no matter how bad it is, or you know, it's seemingly bad at the time. It it it fortifies us in some way. Um

The Redwood Metaphor For Healing

SPEAKER_01

and part of part of as we all move through life, part of us, part of it is redefining our goals and our you know, the horizon, what we're going for. So looking at your life and these changes you've you've gone through, how do you define success now versus how you defined it maybe 10 years ago?

SPEAKER_02

I think for a long time I was looking to catch up. Like I kept picturing in my head uh a race, like at a track, and I was just I was late to the start of the race. And so I just wanted to catch up. My whole my whole motivation was, you know, lock down, get in, get involved, and and and catch up and really motivation from that. And I think at a certain point, it changes to what can I contribute, you know, and because I've I've been a father my whole adult life, really, um I looked at some of the you know the parenting things and and the things that that I learned along the way um as a parent. And so to me, as life goes on, not only do we need to continue learning, but the things that we have learned, um I don't say a duty, but I think it's it's best when we can share that which has worked for us that can work for other people. And so uh I think for me that's where I see life going um is to continue to try and navigate what I can in life, learn along the way from people who are you know inspiring me, and and then and then as I collect the tools, you know, hopefully can share, um hopefully can share what what I've learned and what works for me or what doesn't work. I mean that that's the other part is you know openly understanding uh life, what's worked, the mistakes along the way, and uh and what we can um contribute. I think that goes into kind of the legacy part of purpose, right? Is like what what ultimately um can we share in um whatever way that is, if it lives beyond us in what we give kids or give your community or give you know through our art, through our books, you know, I think that's a that's a um forward-looking piece that I'd that I'd love to be able to continue with.

Redefining Success And Thinking Legacy

SPEAKER_01

You've had an amazing journey up until this point. So looking towards that forward piece, what do you see happening in the next next five years, 10 years? What's what's gonna happen with Ben Barbeck uh in your future?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, I my goal within that is to continue on these paths. And so I I think it's interesting how when you progress as a musician and your kind of goal is to always make try and make better music, more connected music, you know, align on a on a on a more connected level. Um I think what mirrors back is really fascinating to me. Like who, who, who you're around musician-wise or author-wise, or whatever it is. And so to me, it's the five-year plan is to just make sure that I'm embracing the opportunities like I have up until this point and not put any mental roadblocks into that progress forward, you know. Um, if there's something I can contribute uh with speaking, then then that's what I'll do. If there's something I can contribute with, you know, music, I'm gonna continue that regardless. Same with books. I will write another book. You know, it it's it's part of the ecosystem that is me, that that gives me value, and I hope to always continue to progress on those things um through accumulation of knowledge and experience and all these things. So I think ultimately um as my kids get older, it lines up a little bit with the the the parenting of my own children has been done. And so that leaves a gap, right? Of okay, so that's done. So now, well, we've been parents for a long time. There's things that we've learned. Is there ways to share anything that was learned with that, anything that's been learned in any other area? And I think just the realization that ultimately there's gonna be free time within what was, you know, as as kids move on and they get their own families, it it has me thinking uh to your question about long term and that that space can really seem seamlessly fill with um these things that I'm referencing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, I I can totally relate to that. I've got two teenagers that you know have been a full part of my life for so long, but I realize that in you know literally months now, they're going to be moving on with their lives and leaving the house, going to college, whatever, and that my life will will transform as far as that part of it. And it's uh it's it's it's a big deal, but it's a big opportunity, I guess. I'll be very sad. Uh but but it's a new a new chapter that you know we all get to look forward to uh as well. Um so yeah, one we're the camera dropped off here, but that's all right. We'll we'll we'll be fine. You're looking great on your end, Ben. So we'll stick with that. No problem. Um

The Next Chapter As Kids Grow

SPEAKER_01

maybe one last question.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01

What well actually a couple of questions, but in the last few minutes here, well, is there anything that I haven't covered uh or any final thoughts you'd like to leave our audience with today?

SPEAKER_02

No, I I I think I think if it's this it's if you if you go after what you want in life and you you pursue that which gives you purpose and gives you motivation and gives you drive, you you you're able to be in positions that are really satisfying and that really are are rewarding at their core level. And I'm gonna include sitting here with you on that as an example because I really respect what you did in writing your book. I really enjoyed the book, I thought it was well written. And the reason why I'm having this conversation with you is that I had, you know, the discipline, I guess you'd say, to write my story and to put it out. And so when when you do things like that, good things can come. And I think it's important to kind of picture that is like if I continue with this thing, eventually it's gonna manifest itself into something really special, really special moments, and they and they can potentially continue, right? If it's if it's grounded in something you're gonna do for the long haul, you're willing to put in the time and effort, no matter what, no matter if if the book sells or the music sells or whatever it is, but you're you're you're gonna lock into it regardless. I think that if at its core, if it comes from that place, then um then it eventually will thrive because it's it's coming from the the rooted core of it, not any other reason. Um so that's that's what I'd leave with.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's

Final Advice And Closing Thanks

SPEAKER_01

beautiful, beautiful thoughts. I I really appreciate you spending the time with us today, Ben. This is this has been this has been fascinating and delightful. We're gonna put uh all your uh links in the show notes on how to how to get the book, but thank you, thank you again for being with us today. Really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you for having me. This is this is wonderful, absolutely wonderful.

SPEAKER_01

And everybody, the book is Rise and Climb. It's coming out October 15th. Ben Barbick uh is the author. You don't want to miss this book. It is outstanding. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.

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SPEAKER_03

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SPEAKER_01

No, that's good. That's you for you to say it. I think that's very good. Do you like it? You want to do it one more time or is that good? I think that was good. Alright.

SPEAKER_03

You need to stay the recording.