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Tammy afriat:
Hey, and welcome back to the Playground Talks podcast.. My name is Tammy Aat and I am the host of the Playground Talks podcast. This podcast is meant to for busy parents who wants to own their parenting style, and specifically those episode is around, setting boundaries. And I think this is a huge piece as a parent that we have the role of setting boundaries, not only for our kids, but also to model those. Healthy boundaries for ourself. And so today we'll dive into what are intellectual boundaries, but if you didn't get the chance, check out the last four episode where we talked about time boundaries. Material boundaries, physical boundaries, and emotional boundaries. Okay, so let's get started. We talk about everything that refer to thought ideas and curiosity. That's what intellectual boundaries is all about. And we include under that umbrella. Respecting other people ideas. For example, if your kid is drawing something, for example, if your kid says something and his sibling says, oh my gosh, that's stupid. That's totally a violation of intellectual boundaries. And also intellectual boundaries can be violated when your thoughts or your kids' thoughts and curiosity are shut down, dismissed, or belittled. So while actually respectfulness and willingness to dialogue and understand, Are very important part when we talk about intellectual boundaries and let's give some examples. So how. Health, intellectual boundaries looks like , I've heard this a lot, but we'll mention it let's agree to disagree. It's a huge thing specifically, you know, sometimes kids are getting into this like one say. Dog is the most important animal on earth, and the other one says, no, it's just cats. And then they start argue about this. So for us, it seems so stupid, but it could be that for the kids, you know, he has a dog and this pet is just so important to him and that's why he says that. So as a parent, it's your role to sort of navigate this discussion and say, it's okay for each and one of us to think differently. As long as we don't hurt each other, of course, anyway. There are situation where your kids might face some kids at school that might have some dismissive behavior. For example, you could say. Something about basketball and this guy will come and say, oh my gosh, you have no clue what you're talking about. You have no clue what the rules are. Like how could you possibly say something about that? Oh, you're talking nonsense. Or someone says, this is a stupid idea. Or something really cynical, such as do you hear yourself? Or something like this is not relevant. Like whatever you raise up in the topic is just irrelevant for the discussion. So all those things is actually an examples of this missing and belittling other person thought or ideas, and so the first step is to set the boundary and say, I can't let you talk to me like that. Please stop, or I don't feel comfortable when you're talking like that. Let's switch the topic. Or I see we can't agree which color is the most beautiful one. So let's talk about what's your favorite food. You know, you can always help your child to move from one topic to another. And the most powerful thing you can advise your child is just to walk away. So for example, if it's school, he's facing such a scenario where he's feeling that he's being belittled or dismissed, just let your child know and say, well, if you said please talk, I don't feel like you talking like this, and the other person is not respecting it. Encourage your child and give him the. Permission to just walk away and he can even say, I can't let you talk to me like that. So I'm walking away and leave the room or leave the playgrounds, whatever Of course that as a role model for our children, it is so important to model all those things. You know, when you sit around dinner table, lunch table, you know, during the weekends in the car, whenever we talk to our children, it is so important to make sure we also follow those healthy. Intellectual boundaries. Intellectual boundaries also goes into ideas. So if your child is, you know, played the piano and he made up this piece, he wrote a song. All those things that comes from curiosity and creativity. If someone is diminishing those things, that's the place where you need to help your church to set those boundaries. And sort of filter those negative statement that he gets. So basically that's about it for intellectual boundaries because we talk about little kids. I'm not gonna dive deeper and just summary it up. So intellectual boundaries has to do with your kids' thought ideas, and curiosity and healthy intellectual boundaries is when there is a mutual, respectful approach to one ideas. And of Intellectual Barnes is when someone is dismissing belittling other person's thoughts and ideas. Okay, so this is actually the last episode around. The type of boundaries. And I don't think it's really matter what specifically the type of the boundary is. The point is, whenever someone doesn't feel good about something, Whenever your child is feeling that one of his boundaries was violated, encourage him to set the boundaries by saying, no, or I don't like it. I disagree, or I will not, or I choose not to, or please stop it, or it hurts, or, I don't like it when you touch me there. Stop it. So all those kind of solid statement is a very important tool for your child to be able to advocate for himself and protect himself. And you know, . I was thinking, this week what's the difference between protect yourself to defend yourself? And I think that when you protect yourself, it's you do it from a more powerful state of point. You set a boundary and you say, no, that's not acceptable, versus when you defend yourself. I'm thinking it's more when you already was bullied and then you are in a kind of weaker position. So my goal as a parent is to give my kids the tool to advocate for yourself and the awareness to recognize those places when those boundaries are being violated. So once again, highly recommend go back and listen to those four episode and. Let me know what you think. I would love to hear that. That's it for today., if you want to dive into share with me what's going on for you, I would love to hear So go ahead and book your free 30 minutes as always. Treat yourself and your kids with compassion and curiosity by.