Feeling guilt about eating fun foods (such as donuts)?
In this episode I want to walk through my journey through healing my relationship with things like donuts, and what it's like to have them guilt-free now.
Trust me, it's worth it.
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Welcome to the nourished and free podcast,
I'm your host,
Michelle Yates a registered dietitian and this is where we talk all things intuitive
eating body image and really just how to create a healthy relationship with food.
You know what I love is donuts and you've
probably noticed that if you've ever followed me on social media,
I use donuts a lot,
like my graphics and everything and it just,
I think they're so fun,
they're one of the most fun foods ever.
Like how cute are they?
And another thing I love is spending time with my fam
and being able to enjoy the time with them.
And sometimes that includes donuts and you know,
the other day we as a family and my husband,
we kind of do this probably every few weeks where one of us looks at each other and we're
I think it's a donut and coffee kind of day and it's just like the most
fun thing because we tell my daughter and she's too right now and she's like
donuts and she gets so excited because I mean,
what kid doesn't love donuts and it becomes this like really fun family event
where we decide where we gonna go,
what kind are we going to get?
Are we going to get coffee on the way we're going to get coffee there,
Are we going to eat it there we needed at home.
It just becomes this like really fun family trip and
every single time we do that now,
it is a positive experience and it really got me thinking the last time that
we did this actually,
every time we do this,
I think about this and I think about how I used to be so stressed out about
donuts and I would feel like I had to go,
I had to go to the gym in the morning and run through three miles
in order to earn the calories to go and have the donut with my family,
It was in my mind,
it was helping me to enjoy the donut right?
Like I was,
I was budgeting for it right.
If I earned it through exercise then I could have the donut and really,
truly enjoy it.
If I didn't earn the food,
then I would feel guilty about it,
But the reality is that even if I did go and run and
quote unquote earn the food,
which by the way,
nobody needs to earn food,
you're a human being,
you need food no matter what,
you don't need to earn it.
Just side note there.
But even if I had in my disordered mind gone to earn the food at the
I still would feel guilty about eating the donut right?
Because the problem was never the calories.
It was my of food and it was the relationship I had with food
and even with exercise to everything was I was living in this
world of good and bad and right and wrong and black and white and okay and not
okay and healthy and not healthy and no matter what I did to try and earn
the food that I deemed was a bad food,
I still would feel like I was breaking a rule,
And so the reality of that is that me trying to
enjoy a moment with my family,
whether I had earned the food or not,
right earned in a very disordered way,
I still couldn't enjoy that moment.
My mind was still on the donuts calories,
on how there's fat in it,
how it's sugar,
how you know,
this is going to just immediately like a moment on the lips forever on your
Like I could not enjoy that time with my
And so how my family would experience me in that right
is really removed from the situation,
not being able to hold a conversation being really crabby for like
And and it ruins the memory,
It's such a miserable experience when it was supposed to be fun.
And so I was thinking about that when I went to get,
spontaneous donuts with my family,
I was thinking about man,
I am so grateful that I worked on my relationship with food and I
healed it and I worked on my food psychology because now I can actually
enjoy these moments and I'm like loving it.
And what's more is that sometimes I get the donut and
sometimes I don't,
sometimes I eat two donuts,
sometimes I eat half of a donut either way,
I don't care,
it doesn't matter to me.
I'm not thinking about how that food is processing in my body.
I'm making smart decisions so that this is still honoring my health.
But I'm not,
I'm not like,
make these rules about the donut and then white knuckling my way
not having one only to go and like binge on some later.
And I think that's like that's what life's about,
Like I am so grateful that I did this because I don't want to sit on my
deathbed and be like,
I should have really just relaxed more around food because I had missed so
many golden opportunities to go go out to a spontaneous meal or
go out to get ice cream with my kids or you know,
have dessert with my husband and I ruined it
because I either didn't do it because I was too afraid about the food and calories
or I was there.
But I wasn't really there,
I wasn't actually present and all I could think about was the food and how I was going to make me gain weight
And and I think,
when we're at that point in our lives where it's coming to an end and we're looking back on
everything we want to look back on the memories that we made and a lot of times,
the reality is a lot of times,
there's food involved And so if we don't work on our relationship with
food and our relationship with our body too,
Because if we're focused on our weight then like food is there a
But it's not there 24/7,
our body is there 24/7?
So either way,
if you are stressed out about food or you're stressed out about your body,
if it's always on your mind,
it's taking away from these really valuable moments in your
And I heard somebody say something recently,
it's it's with somebody that's in a I have a business coach and there's a group with
everybody that works with her and somebody had said that,
a moment in time is more expensive than money,
Because money you can earn back,
but you cannot get that moment back.
And I think about that a lot,
when I think about how far I've come right,
there were so many moments in my past when I was really deep in my disordered eating and my
body dysmorphia and just being obsessive about exercising all of these
There were so many minutes that I just completely lost and I can never get back right?
Like moments where I could have been spontaneous and had the ice cream with my friend
or you know,
had made something fun with my boyfriend who's now my husband and
or with my friends in college even like,
there were times where we could have gone and gotten the pizza and like had fun
with it and and whatever,
but like I got so in my head about the food that was just like,
like I'm just gonna stay home right?
And then I end up being on something anyway,
because I really wanted to get that thing and now I'm trying to fill that void.
And so how precious are these memories?
How precious are these moments that a lot of times involved food
and we're just like letting them pass us by
and they could have been a really beautiful moment.
They could have been one that you end up thinking about when you're on your deathbed and you end up thinking about,
that was such a fun memory.
That was so fun.
Going to get all these different donuts that looked like,
we got the frosted with and we got the frosting with sprinkles,
we got the crueler,
we got the blueberry cake,
we got the glazed,
we got the raspberry field,
we got all of these,
We taste tested them.
We got so much frosting everywhere.
We had to do bath time after,
but we were just laughing the whole time and having such a great time.
And honestly the last thing that I cared about was the
calories because I was having such a beautiful moment with my family,
that's really what life is about is collecting these moments and collecting these
memories because if we let them pass us by,
we never get that moment back.
So time is really more expensive than money,
And I was trying to remember how I got into that conversation with that person.
It was because you know,
I had said time is money.
If you're wasting time you're wasting money.
And that was actually something my husband had said recently as a joke,
but I was like that's actually pretty profound.
And so I had said that and then she had responded and was like actually time
is if you think about it,
time is more valuable than money,
Because we never get a moment back but we can earn money back.
And so that really hit home with me and I was really reflected on that and how
I'm so grateful that now in this,
in this place and stage in my life I'm really
I'm making those moments as valuable as possible.
I'm not wasting them on thoughts of food or thoughts on my body.
And I love that I get to do what I do because now I get to see women
have those same realizations and those same beautiful
I was just talking to one of my clients about crumble cookies and you might
have seen this on my on my social media or on my I had sent out an email to my email list too.
But she was talking about how back in the his a meaning like a couple of months ago
she would have,
you know if somebody brought a crumble cookie to work,
she would have you know White and uncle through it and been like no I can't have the cookie,
it's too many calories and then you know been thinking about it all day like not even able to
focus on her work and then she would have the next day just gone to crumble
cookie gotten like three or four,
binged on all of them in the car and then thrown away the package before she got home.
So her husband didn't know right?
So it's like who is that helping if we are white knuckling our way through these
cravings because either way we're gonna end up having it but we're
binging on it and so we end up having way more and we have this huge sense of
embarrassment and guilt and shame and we wasted a whole,
I mean in that situation we wasted a whole day of thinking about it instead of focusing on our work,
focusing on her family.
Like how much time was wasted because she had tried to white knuckle her way
through the crumble cookies when if she had just healed her relationship with
food a couple of months earlier,
she could have had the crumble cookie right and had maybe
the whole thing,
maybe only a part of it and the really cool thing is the reason I love this story is because she was
telling it and she was telling us about where she's at now and she told us that's
what would have used to happen and has happened but
now it's like you know the holiday season and so they're getting a lot of gifts from other
She that's kind of the nature of her work is that other companies give them gifts.
And so a lot of that involves food and so somebody had given her crumble cookies or given the
office crumble cookies and so they were being passed around and everybody was
everybody had one at their desk and she had this moment
of wow this cookie doesn't have power over me.
I actually forgot about it like I had I tasted it and then I went
back to my work and it was still sitting there and then a few hours later I had another bite and went back to my
work and throughout the day I realized you know at the end of my work day I have had maybe
half of it and then I threw it away because I didn't want anymore and I was
content and I was satisfied and I realized in that moment this
cookie does not have the power over me anymore.
Food does not have the power over me anymore.
I am in control,
I have my power back and I think that was such a powerful story because how
many times have we had a dessert or baked goods sitting by us and it's like all we
can think about whether we're trying to white knuckle it or we're like scarfing it down or
how awesome is that,
that she was able to be fully engaged in her work still and she was able to enjoy the cookie
and little bits here and there and in total moderation and then at the end of the day,
you know what,
I don't you need the rest of this,
I'm just gonna throw it away.
That's why I love that story,
is because we see both sides,
We see the side of before our relationship with food is healed.
We get really obsessive about these things and compulsive and it
really takes over our life.
It really it really attaches itself to our life where we can enjoy things anymore.
We can't have those moments anymore of focusing on what's important,
focusing on our family or work or whatever it is.
And then after we heal our relationship with food now,
who doesn't have power over us and we can be fully present in whatever it is that's in front of
And then she was able to go home that night and focus on her family not be
thinking about how she was going to go to crumble cookie the next day and get more cookies and binge on
him and have like,
all of that anticipatory shame and all of that.
Like she was able to just literally live her life and that's where I'm at too.
And it's so beautiful and that's why I love what I do is because I get to not only see that in
but now see it in these clients,
like my client with the cookies.
Like it's so cool to see them fully be present in their life and not have
not let food be in control anymore.
And that's why this work is so important and why I will
continue to be preaching this way of life because at the end of the
it's getting your life back.
It's getting your time back,
your energy back for your family,
for your job,
for your passions for yourself.
like we always give and give and give to others,
especially as women and if you're a mom,
like you're so used to giving to others,
but we never really take time for ourselves,
And like what is that doing for us?
What is that doing for us?
If we really need to heal our relationships with food and with our body and it's really cutting into
our life and our quality of life and being able to be fully present with others.
How is giving to others?
Even helping them if we're not fully present with them and we're like a
shadow of who we usually are because we're so tired from the diet that were
on or were so miserable because we hate our body or were so
um We're in physical pain because of the binge that we just had like,
how is that giving to others?
And I just want,
anyone who's listening to this and feels like I'm just struggling on the
inside and I wish somebody knew how much how much help I need,
how much I'm struggling,
how much I think about food in my body,
I just want you to know you've got a whole year clean slate
2023 ahead of you.
Take time for yourself and work on your relationship with food and with your
body so that you can really be there for other people,
you can actually give to others,
Don't tell yourself that you can't that you can't prioritize yourself,
you can't take care of yourself because you've got other people to take care of.
How are you taking care of them?
if you're a shadow of who you really are,
and if you're crabby because you're hungry,
Because you're on a low carb diet or whatever it is,
how is that taking care of them?
One of the best,
most selfless things we can do is take care of ourselves first
before helping others.
So no matter where you're at in life,
whether you have kids or you want kids someday or you don't want kids someday,
but you want to enjoy your life fully.
Just know that there's freedom for you.
You can absolutely have donuts with your family,
guilt free anxiety free compulsive exercise free.
You can just enjoy your life and make these memories that you look back on and you're like,
that was awesome.
I really enjoyed that moment with my family.
That was so much fun.
I have no regrets,
You can do that and it's so possible for you if it was possible for me.
I was deep in my disordered eating,
I was deep and I work with women who they were deep and they have this
freedom now to it is so incredibly possible for you.
If you would like to chat with me more about how we can make that happen for you,
then hit me up,
find me on instagram at Yates nutrition or visit my website Yates nutrition
And let's get you started on getting your life back.
I would love to invite you to apply for my group coaching program.
It's called Nourish and Free.
It's a 16 week group coaching program designed to help women stop binge
eating and dieting and emotional overeating and really just self sabotaging So that they can
be the best version of themselves and they can enjoy all of these moments with loved
ones and create memories instead of food taking over their life.
And if you're ready for that,
you're ready to heal your relationship with food and with your body so that you can really be set
free in 2023 and I would love to invite you to apply.
You can go to Yates nutrition dot com slash application to fill out a no pressure
application and I'll send over a free training on your acceptance that really walks you through
my system in more detail and and how we can work together.
so whether it's a donut or it's ice cream or whatever it is,
don't let the food ruin your life,
ruin your experiences with your loved ones,
get your power back and let's head into 2023 with a whole new
outlook on food in our relationship with our body.
I hope you enjoyed this episode and don't forget to drop a five star rating if you love this
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and I'd love to actually hear your thoughts too.
If you want to leave a written review,
um if you love donuts and you want women to be able to enjoy them guilt free
without society's pressures of being a certain size or thinking that we can't
eat donuts because we're unworthy to enjoy the foods we love then
definitely leave a rating because this show is going to be found by more women
who need to hear this message.
If there are more ratings,
So thank you for being a faithful listener and I appreciate you.
My DmS are open If you ever want to chat,
just find me over at instagram at Yates nutrition.