3 Reasons Why You're Not Seeing Progress With Healing Your Relationship with Food

You may have a bad relationship with food whether you struggle with feeling stressed with food, binge eating, turning to food for every emotion, or are constantly jumping from one diet to the next. If you're here, I'm guessing you've already started to overcoming this and heal your relationship with food... and it might not be going well. You might be asking yourself, "what am I doing wrong?"

I want to help and give you the 3 reasons why you might not be seeing progress in your relationship with food.

Read the article associated with this episode here.

First reason [2:31]
Second reason [5:19]
Third reason [9:10]

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Transcript

 Welcome back to the Nourished and Free Podcast, where we talk about how to heal your relationship with food and cultivate some happiness in your body, or at least some contentment that's better than where we're usually at, right? Today I wanna talk about the three reasons that I've been seeing lately that women are not seeing progress in their relationship with food.

Now, this can be. Clients of mine or women that I'm just talking to that are experiencing the hardship of, Hey, I feel so stressed with food, or I'm struggling with binge eating, or I continue to turn to food for every emotion you can imagine. Um, or maybe they're struggling with losing weight, then gaining it all back, plus more.

Maybe they're so obsessed with thoughts of calories, whatever it is, right? There's all kinds of symptoms, so to speak, of having an unhealthy relationship with food. And I mean, if you're listening to this, I'm assuming that you're at the point where you're like, okay, I don't want to live like this anymore.

I need to make a change, right? That's probably why you're listening to this podcast is because you recognize. I don't wanna be like this. I want to figure out a way to make a change. And so I wanna help you here and give you the three reasons why you might not be seeing progress in your relationship with food.

This might have already happened for you or. It could be something that you can be on guard about as you're going forward in your healing journey. Let's dig into this, but before I do, I wanna remind you that it really means a lot to me. If you drop a rating for this show on Apple Podcast, it's actually kind of fun.

You can just tap the little stars and it's. Somewhat satisfying. So I highly recommend leaving a rating on this show to let me know what you think. If you're extra grateful, feel free to leave a written review. That's always fun for me to read, and I do read every single one of them. And lastly, I feel like this goes without saying, but if you do enjoy this show and you want to listen to future episodes, uh, such as, I actually have an episode in the works about weight loss medications and my thoughts on that, I've been getting that.

Requested a lot lately. So if you wanna be sure to listen to that right when it drops, then be sure you follow my show and uh, you can hit that little plus button or whatever the button is on your platform of choice to be sure you never miss an episode. So let's dig in. I wanna talk about the first reason that I typically see when it comes to women not making progress in their relationship with food and what's happening.

And really what it boils down to is just a lack of awareness. Many of us are going through life on autopilot and no judgment. If that's you, I think it's so easy to fall into that trap of just like going throughout your day, not taking notice of things. And one of the number one things I tell my clients, and they're probably sick of hearing it, is that, Awareness is a skill we have to cultivate.

It doesn't come easily in a world where we're constantly getting all of this stimulus and messages and we're having to be protective over what we give our energy to. And a lot of us have just gotten into the groove of not really giving our energy to anything because we're just so overwhelmed and over stimulated that we tap out and we go back into autopilot.

Awareness is something that it's really easy to do when you're unplugged. But how many of us are truly unplugged, right? And so instead, you have to be really intentional about cultivating that skill in a world that we're always being stimulated and we always have things at our fingertips and screens in front of us, and there's just a million things going on at once, and we're always overwhelmed and stressed.

You have to learn how to weave awareness. In, in that kind of life. And when we don't have awareness, the way that this affects our relationship with food is that we just simply don't know what we don't know, right? Like, how are you supposed to know if the cause for your overeating is emotional, if you don't even know that you're feeling emotions in the first place?

The way that you know if you're feeling emotions in the first place. Is to become aware of them. Really being aware of our food choices and how they make us feel, and also assessing our hunger levels, our cravings, our emotions, how we're feeling in our body. Like these are all things that contribute to our choices with food and, and also are just really pivotal in.

Understanding your relationship with food and where it's at so that you can make progress forward. So by cultivating awareness, we can make conscious choices that really do align with our goals and values, and that's when we start to see progress in our relationship with food is when we have that.

Skill really honed in. So the first reason, lack of awareness, it's way too easy to be on P autopilot and to not understand why you're doing the what you're doing, which is so huge for making progress in your relationship with food. You have to understand the why behind your behaviors. The second reason is that we're still stuck in this diet mentality, and for those of you who are like, I'm not really a dieter, I'll rephrase, we're still stuck in the restrictive mindset.

A lot of times we fall into this trap of restrictive eating patterns and we can fall into that trap for a variety of reasons. Maybe we really wanna get some weight off of us for the wedding next month, or our vacation at the end of the summer, or maybe it actually doesn't have anything to do with your weight.

Maybe you're wanting to. Improve your health. And so you get down the rabbit hole of Instagram and you start seeing all these doctors talking about how keto is the solution to all of your problems. And so now we're restricting a ginormous chunk of the food that you usually are eating because you're trying to follow what this.

Quote, unquote, expert, has said is the best thing for your health. Or maybe you're restricting because you're actually, again, just feeling emotions, and so a way that you cope through the feelings that you have is by restricting food. It makes you feel more in control or whatever it is. Here's the thing, restrictive tendencies, they do tend to make us feel better in the short term.

Right. They make us feel like we're in control. They make us feel like we're working towards a goal. We can feel really accomplished and good about ourselves. However, in the long term, they're not sustainable and they often lead to this cycle of being too deprived that you end up binging. Or it can even just cause.

Is an unhealthy obsession with food if we're always having to monitor ourselves and make sure that we truly are restricting what we planned to restrict. This is just way too easy for us to get really obsessive over calories, carbs, whatever it is that you're watching, right? And, and this can lead to a really unhealthy relationship with food and also cause us to get into these.

Blaming and shaming moods with ourselves, right? If we don't make the right choice with food, suddenly. We are scum of the yard. We can't do anything, right? I can't believe you, once again, fell off the wagon and it's just super unhealthy and it can drive us again into binge eating because we're just so upset with ourselves that we want to feel better.

We've already fallen off the wagon, might as well go all in and have the whole package of Oreos. So having this restrictive mindset, it honestly. I think that there's, there's rare cases where it's okay and it definitely works for that person, especially in the circumstance of a health condition. But again, it really comes down to that individual and their own mindset behind it.

And many times, more often than not, honestly, our mindset is not in the right place when it comes to restricting foods for our health. Or trying to manage our weight or whatever it is. And so we end up just like having a horrible relationship with food as a result. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention too, this restrictive mindset really leads us to the good and bad mentality.

And I cannot tell you how many women have come to me after following some sort of diet, like Weight Watchers, Noom, Octavia, you name it. And they're like, I'm just so stressed out. I can't see food as neutral. Right. I can't see it as just. Fuel or something that I enjoy. It's either good or bad, and there's no in between, and they're so stressed out.

And that restrictive mindset, once again has failed us by causing us to have a stressful and unhealthy relationship with food. So the second reason we're not seeing progress with our relationship with food is that we're stuck in the diet mentality and the restrictive mindset. The third and final reason that you may not be seeing progress in your relationship with food.

Is that you just might not be prioritizing it enough, and I want you to be so honest with yourself in this moment, wherever you are, whether you're listening in the car or while you're doing the dishes or on a run, whatever it is, ask yourself, do my actions support that This is a priority to me right now.

Am I making time for this? Am I actively seeking answers? Am I doing what I can to make change or am I continuing to do the same stuff I've been doing for decades to try and fix this? And if I am, that's not really prioritizing making progress, right? Because if we keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, That's literally insanity according to Einstein.

And I'm not saying that you're insane, but it is so easy to fall into the trap of doing the same thing over and over again and thinking that at some point it's going to work, right? But if you've been doing it over and over again and it still hasn't worked, Then sis, we gotta take a new approach. You gotta try something different.

So ask yourself, what is the first step that somebody like me needs to take in order to see progress in their relationship with food? I think sometimes it's helpful to like distance yourself from it and not necessarily say like, what do I need to do, but think about. What would somebody in a position like me need to do?

Sometimes it's easier, right? To think about what advice you would give to a friend versus what advice you give to yourself and think about that, right? Like think about a year from now. Are you gonna be glad that you kept saying, I don't have time for this. Or I need to focus on this house project instead, or I'm gonna wait until summer's over or whatever it is.

Are you gonna be glad one year from now that you kept coming up with reasons not to do this and not to change the method or get help or really sit down and think through what's going on? Right? Are you gonna be glad? Or are you gonna be like, shoot, I really missed out on an opportunity a year ago and I could have been feeling so much better by now.

Right? Like we come up with so many reasons not to make change because the reality is the change is hard. Nobody wants to deal with their problems. I am a professional at suppressing my problems. If anybody understands it, I do. I don't want to sit down and journal through. Why I'm mad at my husband or whatever it is, because that means that I'm gonna have to come to terms with the ugly stuff that's going on inside of me, and I would just rather pretend that it's not there.

So can we just be honest with ourselves that a lot of times we're scared of unearthing what that ugly stuff is behind our body image. And our relationship with food and why we binge or emotionally eat, or why we always feel like we need to be on another, on a diet. Can we just be honest that it's scary and we come up with a million reasons not to do it and not to prioritize it?

And that's okay. Guess what? That makes you human right? Like change is hard and humans are notorious for not wanting to make change. But can we also be real about the fact that you can't expect things to get better if you don't make this a priority? Right. And then ask, how can I prove to my brain that this is a priority?

Because the reality is that when we go from being the way that we are to wanting to make change, a lot of times that can be a big jolt to our brain. And so there's actually resistance there. There's resistance to make the change. And I mean, there's a reason why it is really hard to make changes cuz your brain is literally resisting it because it feels unsafe.

So what proof can you give to your brain that actually this is safe? For example, when women join my program, I make them share every single thing that goes well. I tell them all the time, be sure you share your wins, share your wins, share your wins, share the win. Tell us what's going well. Because what's happening when they do that is they are physically.

Putting into the world by typing or whatever it is that they are becoming the person they want to become. And that's data to their brain that's saying, okay, this is okay. This is achievable. And so they're giving their brain that data by putting it out in the world and saying, I can do this. I, in fact, I've already done it.

And here's proof, time, energy, finances, whatever it is, proof to yourself. That this is a priority. I'm gonna give you an example if anybody has a reason to not make this a priority, it's my client. I'm gonna share some details about her. So for the sake of privacy, I'm gonna change her name to Lisa. Lisa is a busy mom, she's got a toddler, and she also is going through a season of grief right now.

This time last year, Lisa lost her second daughter 22 days after she was born. This time of the year is gonna be hard for her. In fact, it's the first anniversary since her daughter's passing, and so this is potentially going to be the hardest year. But do you know what she said on a group call the other day?

She said this. Season is really emotional for me in a lot of ways, and I'm really overwhelmed from emotions, from parenting, but I refuse to let this not be a priority anymore. I still wanna free up my brain space from obsessing over food, and I wanna feel better and I want to reverse the lab values that came back not so great at my doctors.

Here's this woman who's going through a season of grief. She's gone through one of the hardest things that anybody can possibly imagine, and she's having to parent a toddler in the midst of that who doesn't sleep well. And she's still choosing to make this a priority. Right? And I think so many times we come up with these reasons not to, but at the end of the day, it's your choice.

I heard somebody say one time, and I haven't forgotten about it since, that when you say, I don't have time for this, change it to be, I don't wanna make this a priority and see how you feel after and see if it's genuinely something that you don't have time for. Because the reality is we all have the same 24 hours in a day.

You decide what to do with them. And this client, she could easily be like, no, I'm too tapped out. I can't do this. But she chooses to still show up and put in the work. Honestly, the clients that I work with that are successful, they all have this in common. They actively choose to make this a priority, and they don't make excuses.

I have a neurosurgeon in my program right now. If anybody's busy, it's her. I have teachers in my program. I have single moms in my program. I have students who are in a ton of classes in my program and who work a job. Like I have women in my program in every life circumstance you can imagine. But they all have the same thing in common.

They say, I have a lot going on, but I'm determined to make this the first priority. And they do, and they're giving their brain that data that it actually is a priority because they come to the calls, they ask questions, they invest their time and their finances. They're proving to themselves this is a priority.

So then they're actually able to make that change because their brain is getting this data that this change is safe because they're continuing to show up and do the work. So, Three reasons why you're not seeing progress in your relationship with food. The number one was lack of awareness. The second one was that restrictive or diet mentality.

And the third one is that we're just simply not making it a priority. And of course, this is probably the most important one because if you struggle with lack of awareness or diet mentality or any other thing that could potentially be hindering your relationship with food. There's no way that you can fix it unless you literally make it a priority and you sit down and you give yourself a fair chance.

The biggest guarantee of a failure when it comes to healing your relationship with food is just simply not starting. You've already failed. So let me ask you, what do you need to do today to start the journey of healing your relationship with food? If you're like my clients who work with me in my signature program, nourished and free, and you are determined to make this your first priority, then I wanna actually invite you to apply and join us because you will fit in extremely well with this group of women, and you will see results.

If this is your number one priority, if you're not making excuses anymore and you're ready to show up and do the hard work of healing your relationship with food and getting into the nitty gritty of why you make the choices you make. How you feel in your body, why you feel that way, and then transforming all of that and you're excited about the PO possibility of that, and you are okay with the fact that it's a little scary, but you still wanna do it anyway.

I would love to work with you because I already know if all of those things are true, you're going to be my next success story. So if you're ready for that too, and you wanna learn more about what it's like to work with me, go to the show notes to learn more about my signature program, nourished and free.

And if you're ready to take that next. Step, feel free to fill out an application and we'll have a no pressure conversation about if this is the best fit for you and what it's like to work together. I can't wait to talk with you. If you love this episode, let me know and I'll see you soon for the next episode of the Nourished and Free podcast.