From Keto & Noom to Feeling Nourished & Free (Client Confessional with Riley)

Are you tired of the diet rollercoaster? 🎢 In this episode, I'm joined by Riley, a former client who shares her powerful journey of healing her relationship with food and body image 1 whole year after graduating Nourished & Free (the program).

Riley candidly discusses how years of competitive dance and restrictive diets left her feeling trapped and disconnected from her body. But through N&F, she learned to rediscover her body's natural hunger and fullness cues, find joy in movement beyond the gym and embrace her body, regardless of size.

This episode is packed with actionable advice and real-life strategies to help you break free from the diet cycle and cultivate a more nourishing and fulfilling relationship with yourself. 

TOPICS COVERED 👇
Early Body Image Struggles (00:02:44)
Keto Experience (00:06:57)
Noom Experience (00:09:45)
Hunger Regulation Challenges (00:15:25)
Letting Go of Weigh-Ins (00:17:00)
Focus on Behavior Over Numbers (00:18:06)
Joyful Movement (00:20:54)
Body Image Acceptance (00:22:00)
Freedom from Dieting (00:27:39)
Mindset Shift (00:32:16, 00:37:14)

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Transcript

Michelle 00:00:00  Welcome back to Nourished and Free, the podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Yates, a registered dietitian with my master's in health psychology and a certified Health Mindset coach. I'm so excited to have a previous client from Nourished and Free the program here to talk with us today about her experience through healing, her relationship with food and with her body, and getting off the diet roller coaster. I think that her story is, is one that many, many people can relate to. I know, I certainly can. So much of what she has to share today is something that I was sitting there thinking like, yep, sounds like me. Yep. Sounds like me. So I'm really excited for you to hear about her journey and what it was like for her to finally let go of dieting and hyper fixating on her weight, which ironically, led to her losing weight in the long run. It has been a year since Riley graduated the program, and so I love when I get to check in with clients way after the fact to be sure that whatever we did together is genuinely only working and sticking.

Michelle 00:01:01  And it's such a joy for me to be able to hear after the fact how this is affecting their life in the long run, because I wouldn't do what I do if women were just going to go right back to where they started and have the same issues that they came to me for help with. Right. Like, I really want to be sure that what we're doing together is solving the issue from the inside out so that they're forever free from them. So it's always an honor and a joy to get to have conversations like this. And I'm excited for you to listen to it as well. Something really fun about this interview today is that Riley is actually working on Team Yates right now as our community manager. And so if you end up working with us, it'll be nice for you to already know who she is and know her story, and she'll be here to support you throughout the whole process. As somebody who's been through it herself and who can relate to what you're going through, regardless of if you want to work with us or not, or end up working with us or not.

Michelle 00:01:56  I hope that you find this episode valuable. Be sure that you hit the subscribe button so that you can come back for future episodes, or listen to past episodes about a variety of topics that will help you in your journey to become more nourished and free. Welcome to the show, Riley. Hello! So excited to have you here. So it's been, almost a year. At the time of recording. Yeah. Since you graduated. So. Yeah. What I'd love to do is kind of have you walk us through. If you can even think back this far, what life was like for you and specifically your relationship with food, and how is that affecting you and body image before you ended up reaching out and working with us?

Riley 00:02:44  Yeah. so I was pretty young, like, even going into the program. So, everything, like, body image wise was all throughout, like, high school, middle school and everything. so it really started. I grew up dancing, and I think that's just a terrible start.

Riley 00:03:03  It's a body.

Michelle 00:03:04  Image. Yep. That'll do it. Right.

Riley 00:03:07  Yeah. Because, I was on the competition team and I was required to take ballet. and I didn't love ballet. Just a little too slow for me. But, when you're in ballet, you're stripped to tights and a leotard, and, you watch how everyone's bodies are growing because you start at a really young age, and then you, when you stick with dance, you're going through puberty and everything. and that's like, truly where the comparison started. because I was always built, like, curvier, like puberty start. I just always had, like, more of an hourglass. And in dance, that's not a great thing. in the general public, I don't know, you know.

Michelle 00:03:55  Society in To like with the lack. Unless you wear a skirt or something. It's just like.

Riley 00:04:02  Yeah, they didn't allow that look, right? Yeah, they didn't even allow skirts. So it was just a little tight. Yeah, yeah.

Riley 00:04:12  And then like slicked back bun, you have nothing covering anything.

Michelle 00:04:16  It's very degree.

Riley 00:04:18  Yeah.

Michelle 00:04:19  Like you are at your worst.

Riley 00:04:21  Right. Yeah. So I definitely like the comparison started there. And I didn't really diet throughout like middle school. That wasn't like part of my brain. Yet I feel like I had bigger things going on with, like, parents divorce. And just being a middle schooler, like, is hard enough. But I would say once I hit, like, high school, I kind of traded dance for cheer, which is equally probably as bad for Body image as well. Yeah. And then add in, like trying to impress other high school girls and boys. So you have all the pressure on you.

Michelle 00:05:04  What a fun little melting pot of emotions and hormones.

Riley 00:05:09  And for sure. Yeah. and that's where, like, just people's opinions start being a lot louder in your head. and I definitely was an overthinker and was every time I'd walk into a classroom, I literally had the thought in my brain.

Riley 00:05:26  I was like, oh, my God, what are they thinking about me right now? Like, body wise? and that's when I started kind of dieting in high school. because and it truly was because of, like, the number on the scale I had. No, like, I looked fine for a high schooler. I looked completely normal. and on the scale, since I was curvier, I just thought I was overweight, so I would diet. I just really started, like, doing, like, the My Fitness Pal or whatever. Just trying to, like, restrict, restrict on calories and as, like a 14 year old. That's awful. like I was still growing. but that's what started there. And then once I got through high school and I was pretty off and on, like, just restricting calories in high school. especially after I started birth control because I gained weight from the birth control. And that's when I got, you know, really harsh with myself. Yeah.

Riley 00:06:32  but just went off and on with dieting in high school, just restricting calories. But then once I got to college, did the classic freshman 15 or whatever, and I saw, like, a certain number on the scale and, like, lost it. I was like, not okay. And my dad had been doing keto at the time, so I joined him.

Michelle 00:06:57  Fun little bonding experience. Yes.

Riley 00:07:00  Yes. What a fun experience. so we did keto together and honestly, since we did it together, it wasn't insanely hard. Like yeah because we got the same groceries, things like that. And then my stepmom joined in on it too. So we were all eating like, the same thing. but it was hard emotionally. That's for sure. I remember, like, I worked at Scheels. Not sure if that's going to be popular for people not in, like, the Midwest.

Michelle 00:07:32  Though.

Riley 00:07:33  Yeah. I started working at shields, and I remember bringing every single day I worked a, like, keto hot dog bun and a hot dog and a deviled egg, and that's what I ate every single day.

Riley 00:07:45  And the saddest part was, is I brought two ounces of watermelon because you weren't are allowed to have fruit of veggies on keto because it has sugar and carbs. But I loved Black Diamond watermelon so much that I would like cheat like two ounces a day of it.

Michelle 00:08:06  Oh my gosh, the fact that that's like cheating.

Riley 00:08:10  Right?

Michelle 00:08:10  Oh my heart is broken. 2 million pieces.

Riley 00:08:14  Yeah. So that was a trap and I lost a lot of weight from it. But the moment I like went off keto. And that's just because, like, some life things happened. I gained all of it, plus more back. And. Sorry, my dog is playing with a toy. If you can hear that again.

Michelle 00:08:35  Oh my God. Alfredo. Okay, anybody not watching on YouTube? I hope that he comes on at some point because Riley has a cutest little dachshund named Alfredo. Hi. Hi.

Riley 00:08:49  Yeah, yeah. Just ridiculous.

Michelle 00:08:54  So after after you went off keto, then the weight came back.

Michelle 00:08:57  Of course.

Riley 00:08:58  Yeah. So after keto. I yeah, I just like, didn't do anything for a hot minute and gained all the way back because my body got used to the ketosis. Whatever. and then in the new year, because I stopped in, like October and then went back to it in January, I did keto again and, did not last long that time. It wasn't as consistent because it was so restricting. yeah. And yeah, what I do from then. Oh, that's what I found. Noom. yep. And got sucked into that. Both my dad and I did it. And like, one thing I will shout out Noom for is you can eat fruits and veggies again.

Michelle 00:09:45  And at least they let you do that.

Riley 00:09:47  Yeah, yeah. the. like. Amazing part was like the moment that my dad and I started doing Noom. Like, our skin was so much softer because we were eating fruits and veggies again, like getting the extra hydration in. So that was like.

Michelle 00:10:04  Yeah, we were pretty minerals for.

Riley 00:10:07  Sure. Yeah. So we were pretty happy for a little bit. I didn't see it as restricting at first, but then once my like calorie goal was getting closer and closer to 1000, I was like, ooh, that's not good.

Michelle 00:10:23  And with Noom, does it tell you how many calories or is it just okay? It does. Got it. Yeah. Oh, man. A thousand calories.

Riley 00:10:31  That's crazy. Yeah. So I was pretty much consistently eating, like, a thousand calories for, like, three months. and this is when, like, my headspace got super negative because I would go to bed if I was going to bed hungry. I had a successful day.

Michelle 00:10:46  Yeah.

Riley 00:10:47  And that's it was just a cycle of it. And the next one? I knew you were yourself. Every single day. In the morning after. If I gained £1, I was in a bad mood. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was rough for sure.

Riley 00:11:00  Yeah. That summer, it was just a rough summer. I was very negative with, like, my body. If I wasn't seeing the progress, I just, I was failing. And that summer, I started to kind of get to a body that I was like, okay, I feel kind of good about this. and even then, like, even feeling good about your body, I still wasn't happy enough. Yeah, right. Like, I feel like it's never good enough no matter where you're at. Like, I think a common thing that all women go through is they look at photos of their high school self and they're like, what I would do for that body. But in that photo when I was 15, I was like, oh my God, I'm so fat. Like, it's just.

Michelle 00:11:43  Like at the time, yeah, yeah.

Riley 00:11:45  Like we're never happy with it. So I definitely had that going on. and then I started, dating my now fiance and gains gained some weight.

Riley 00:11:59  Their happy relationship weight. Right?

Michelle 00:12:01  Yeah, that's.

Riley 00:12:02  What they called it. and I've.

Michelle 00:12:05  Never heard that.

Riley 00:12:06  Actually. Oh, my gosh. Really? Yeah, he was a gem all throughout it. Like, he never commented on, like, the changes of my body or anything like that. And, felt very safe with him. And I think that's why I did start to eat more like a normal person rather than trying to restrict. But I still had like the mentality when I got to a certain weight while dating him of like, okay, I need to go sign up for Orangetheory. I need to, cut back on the eating. Yeah. And like, during that part of my life was when I did stumble across nourished and free. yeah, because I was looking for a nutritionist in Omaha. And then you popped up on Google.

Michelle 00:12:56  Not shout out to Omaha.

Riley 00:12:57  Right? Yeah. I don't know how. Yeah. And then everything was online and I was like, oh, this is great.

Michelle 00:13:04  Yeah. We love the online format, right? Yeah.

Riley 00:13:10  so yeah, that's when I found Nourished and Free. I was definitely in a mindset of just wanting to get the weight off because I thought that's what was what I needed to do. but I was definitely stuck in a cycle of just not eating enough and then binging, and my metabolism was all out of whack. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Michelle 00:13:33  So what did the what did the binging look like for you? Because I remember you talking about, like, if you went over a certain amount of calories, that was when you were like, okay, I'm just gonna like, screw it today, right?

Riley 00:13:48  For sure. Yeah. I don't think I was like a textbook binger, like I said, binge, but I wasn't, like, clinically binging. Yeah, I definitely was an over eater. so yeah, if I went over and knew my calorie goals, I was like, well, not today. Just do it tomorrow. And that's when I would go get, you know, like a heaping amount of pasta or things like that.

Riley 00:14:14  And I also didn't listen to any cues of like my hunger and fullness. I don't it had been years since I actually felt the true feeling of fullness. Yeah. since, like when I joined Nourish and Free, that's when I found it again. But yeah, I was full when my plate was empty, and that was if I was restricting or overeating. So. Yeah. Yeah.

Michelle 00:14:40  Plus in the hunger too. Like, as you mentioned, like going to bed hungry at some point was a comfort for you. So yeah, your ability to like, regulate, even just the feeling of hunger that then affects your ability to regulate the feeling of fullness and it makes things really hard. And I think that's really common for people that have a history of dieting is like, you're not following hunger cues or fullness cues at all. You're just following whatever this goal is that's been set out for you, or this limit or allowance that's been set out for you. So you completely disconnect from that, and then it can feel really confusing if you try to find them again and you're like, where did they go? I don't know what that feels like anymore.

Riley 00:15:25  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Hunger was so messed up for me. Like I understood the feeling of hunger, but I did not treat it correctly. Yeah, yeah, I saw it as a good thing.

Michelle 00:15:35  Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you're in the fat. I used to think that, like, if I'm feeling hungry, that means my body is literally burning fat right now, right? Yep.

Riley 00:15:45  So bad things.

Michelle 00:15:46  The things that you tell yourself. So when you. Okay, so you reached out. We got you into nourished and free. So your kind of main, M.O., I guess was. Okay. I gotta get this weight off.

Riley 00:16:01  Yes. My main thing was I wanted to get weight off, for sure.

Michelle 00:16:06  Yeah. So walk me through when you're going through this process of nourishing free. We're very like, for anybody that doesn't know for us, like Riley is a good example actually, because with her attempts to focus on weight loss, we ended up turning to things that were pretty unsustainable.

Michelle 00:16:26  Created a poor relationship with food. So for the women that join Nourished and Free, we usually are like, okay, that seems to be a pretty common denominator here with all of the things that have ultimately gotten you to the place where you're at now, where you need help. So let's take the focus off of losing weight and pursuing that right now, and instead repair all the other stuff that's been going on in the background. So what was that like for you to not be weighing yourself every day and hyper fixating on that?

Riley 00:17:00  Yeah, it was hard in the beginning for sure. I think when you're like, it was a routine for years at that point to weigh myself like every single day. so to take the skill away was a little scary. but freeing at the same time. Like the first moment I was like, well, that's nice.

Michelle 00:17:21  Yeah, that bully is.

Riley 00:17:22  Gone, right? Yeah. Seriously, that's how I made my fiance put it on the highest shelf of our house because I'm five four.

Riley 00:17:31  It was awesome. so. Yeah. Definitely freeing. and not, like, tracking it in my phone to to, like, see, the graph was also like just a little life changing right in that moment. So hard at first, but it ended up turning into something super freeing. And when you're not looking at it every day, fun fact you're not thinking about it as much. Yeah.

Michelle 00:18:00  How do you think that that helped you with then making the changes that you needed to make?

Riley 00:18:06  Yeah, I think like when you put the weight aside, you definitely get to reflect on your behaviors a lot more. that's causing the weight fluctuations or things like that. because you you can't just blame it. Blame the number. You then have to, like, really reflect on yourself. So I think, just turning into what I was doing was just huge. Just seeing my behaviors of, like, overeating and then restricting for four days, like putting my body through a through a famine like your body does not know the difference between a famine and you restricting for a diet.

Riley 00:18:48  So like it was very confused and I finally recognized that.

Michelle 00:18:54  Yeah, I love what you said. Like you were able to finally focus on the behaviors because of that kind of essentially distraction. And that's not always the case for everybody. Like some people can see that as just data in the process of focusing on behaviors. But but not everybody can like that becomes an all consuming thing in a lot of cases. And like I certainly felt that way, you know, it was like, if I didn't like what I saw on the scale, then all of the things I was doing was wrong, even though they might have been right. You know, it's just we put so much, no pun intended, but we put so much weight into that number and we put so much importance into that number. But it can mean so many different things and it can be impacted by so many different things. so now that we've gone through the process of nourish and free working on your relationship with food, the body image.

Michelle 00:19:52  Well, actually I'm curious. Like what? What was one of the most surprising things for you, that you learned about yourself through the process of nourish and free?

Riley 00:20:02  I think, like, the first big thing was, like, the hunger and fullness cues. Like, it was just like life changing to me to, like, finally recognize fullness. because I just didn't before I would eat until I felt like crap. so I think that was just a huge, like, revelation. Sounds so simple, but it's not. and then also like, something that helped me so much was, we talk about movement in Nourish and free and I have never been a gym girly. As hard as I will ever try. You know, I tried it in high school. I tried. I've tried it. I've tried everything, and I can't do it. It's just so boring to me. Yeah. I just, like, cannot get myself to, like, go to the gym and lift weights. yeah.

Riley 00:20:54  And, like, giving myself that, like grace and finding something else that I enjoy was also huge. Like it just encouraged me to. I do musicals in the summer because I'm a dancer, right. and to like, honestly bring something that brought me a lot of turmoil and make it something that I really enjoy has been beautiful and also just like walking more. I love going on walks and everything and just like giving myself the permission that that is enough exercise for me. just like moving my bike, going on a walk with my dog. Let's do two laps today. I didn't walk a lot like just seeing it in that, like, headspace rather than I need to meet this goal, Don't say like I don't track my steps anymore. I wear my Apple Watch like maybe once a week and it's not for the steps anymore. Like it's kind of wild. But I think that was another huge thing for me. And then the body image piece too. Of course. I think, I don't know, a woman who doesn't struggle with a little bit of body.

Michelle 00:22:00  I don't either.

Riley 00:22:02  Either. Yeah. And while it was really hard for me to accept the body image piece in the beginning of Nourished and Free, because I didn't want to accept, like, the body I was in. Once I did, once I bought myself clothes that fit me and treated my body with love because it was doing all the right things for me. that was a huge game changer as well. And you start not thinking about it as much. Especially the clothes piece. Like, I can't emphasize that enough to anyone. It's like buy clothes that are comfortable for you and you won't think about it as much that your clothes are tight because they're not. Yeah, yeah.

Michelle 00:22:41  Yeah, yeah. It's like it's so funny because, like, we'll try to squeeze ourselves into this certain size because for whatever reason, we've decided that's the size that we should be. Right? And because it doesn't fit, it makes you think about your body so much more. And then once you finally just get the clothes that genuinely fit you right now, then you're not.

Michelle 00:23:06  You're comfortable and you're not thinking and you look better. Like it's just.

Riley 00:23:10  Literally. Yeah. And I have it written down on like my notes, the I can't remember who said it. It was either you or Danny, but it was like clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. And I was like, oh my God, throw all my genes away. Because, like, it's not fair of a like these jeans, they come in this, they come in this one size, right. Like they come in different sizes, but like, yeah, a 32 or whatever, that's what it is. And there you could look at like eight different people who are a size 32. And they all look extremely different. Totally. You can't like put that pressure on yourself to, you know, look that, you know, fit a clothing item when it's not designed to fit everyone, like, right.

Michelle 00:23:59  And even like, like the 32 example, like if you were to get a size 32 jeans from one brand and then get the same size at a different brand, they can be vastly different.

Michelle 00:24:08  And even within the same brand, if they're different styles, like if you get the straight jean versus the high rise or whatever it is like, they can also fit vastly different. One of them is like way tighter, way less flattering or whatever. So it's just it we are so hard on ourselves. Yeah. We are so hard on ourselves about the size of our clothes. And yeah, we forget that, you know what actually, these were made to clothe us. We are not supposed to squeeze into them, right? And morph ourselves to fit a specific size. Like how ridiculous. But that's just kind of how we get conditioned. And, you know, we've all been there. So I know for you, like over the last year since you've graduated, you've noticed, like, wow, I actually have gone down a few sizes without ever, like hyper fixating on the weight. Yeah. And not even knowing your weight. Which. Yeah. Can you speak to that a little bit more and how that's been, different for you now versus before when you would lose weight for sure.

Riley 00:25:14  Yeah. I think like the biggest thing was like, I didn't really notice it at first and not in like, a bad way. Like, I just didn't notice that I was actually losing some weight, because I wasn't focused on it or restricting my food. I think I did come from a place of, like, overeating, which probably did lead to me once I, like healed that relationship with food and, you know, ate with like in my hunger cuz that's probably why I have lost some weight. because I'm not overeating and moving my body a little more. Right? But it's all in like healthy ways. I'm not thinking like, oh, I'm gonna do this so I lose weight. but yeah, definitely. I started noticing more in the summer, when I was in a musical, I think I was in this musical. I played a very dance heavy part, so I was, like, very active. And I noticed from, like, when we did our first costume fitting to, like, the last show, I was like, oh, thanks a little give here.

Riley 00:26:18  That was not there in the beginning. and then I got engaged and, a photographer came and took photos of us. And that's also another moment where I was like, oh my gosh, I did not look like that in January or so. and that's kind of over the summer, I, I get prepared for like, my busy season at work. And that's where I, where, pretty much like business professional. and some of my clothes were just a little bit bigger. so that's when I definitely started noticing, and I also noticed I was just, like, feeling a little better. Like, just physically, I felt okay in the body I was before, but I think there was a part of me that always knew, like, probably not my forever body that I'm in right now. I think my body is healing right now and trying to gain its trust with me that I'm not going to put it through a famine and things like that. so I've started feeling a bit better, just like activity wise too.

Riley 00:27:23  So, yeah, but it's been amazing just to, like, have it happen and not put, like, weight into it in my mind, right? Not thinking about it. I think that's been, like, way more rewarding than.

Michelle 00:27:39  Sustainable, too.

Riley 00:27:40  Yeah. It's sustainable. That's what makes me, like, very, excited about it. Like, I, I'm excited that I like, am now in like a, a body that feels a bit more like me. but I'm more excited that, like, I don't think I'm in a yo yo again this time. You know what I'm saying? And I finally, like, just get to breathe. And, like, I don't think I ever did that throughout the dieting. Yeah. And losing weight and gaining it because I knew the moment I fell off, it was gonna go right back up again. But now I just feel free, if you will.

Michelle 00:28:14  Nourishing for me, baby. I love that. Yeah. So good. And I think that's good for people to hear.

Michelle 00:28:22  Because even though not everybody loses weight, because we all start in different places with this process. that reality is true for some people where when they focus on their relationship with food and the deeper things going on, and they stop letting the number on the scale distract them or create bad habits. What happens next is healthy, sustainable behaviors which can have a side effect of weight loss, which is more sustainable. And because there's also this body image piece and taking the focus off of the scale, that's not something that ends up tripping you up or becoming an obsession or whatever. Like it's just genuinely your body responding and you're feeling better physically and mentally. And it just, like all turns into this beautiful lifestyle together. It all comes together. But that can be really hard when you are coming from a history of focusing so much on the scale, and especially in the society we live in, where that is such a big focus. And, you know, for you it was like, yeah, I knew that that wasn't probably my forever body.

Michelle 00:29:32  I didn't feel my best there, but at the same time, I needed to work on what was going on deeper underneath the surface. Yeah. What do you think is the biggest difference between your relationship with food now versus before? Because we were talking about body and stuff, but what about with food?

Riley 00:29:53  Yeah, I think, the guilt is gone. Like, I think that's the biggest change. And I think, like, I noticed that when I hear other people around me like talking like, oh, I shouldn't eat this. And I'm like, oh, I can because it's what I want right now. So yeah, I think that's like that was the biggest difference of just like not restricting any kind of food. And magically I don't crave the sweets as much anymore. When you give yourself them every once in a while and then also like I used to be an avid like plate finisher. and like, I could not tell you the last time I finished a plate just because, like, I'm listening to my body and it's not because, like, I don't want to finish the plate.

Riley 00:30:42  but like, rarely do I finish a plate now because I truly am listening to my body. I just used to grow up in that household and finish your plate or, you know, finishing my plate was the amount of calories I allotted for myself. So. Yeah. Yeah. Like, not doing that has been really freeing. And sometimes, like, it could still be hard with like, comments from people, you know, like some of, family members will be like, come on, eat more. And I'm like, but my body doesn't want to. And I've actually like kind of said that, with like family and they have children and they're like, you have to eat more. And I'm like, but maybe their body is just telling them that they're full. Yeah. Like, let's not I don't say this like, let's not start the triggers at a young age. Like, kids know how to regulate their, you know, hunger and fullness skills. It's taught by something else. So, yeah, I think that that's been a huge difference is just knowing my fullness, hunger and being able to stop when I when I know that I'm full and not being uncomfortable afterward.

Michelle 00:31:52  I'm not feeling that I'm being compelled to finish the plate. Yeah. So good. We have to talk about cinnamon rolls because cinnamon rolls are your favorite food. Yeah. We've had a lot of conversations about cinnamon rolls because it is a favorite food. And it was probably yeah, I guess like share before how things were with cinnamon rolls. Yeah. When you were on them.

Riley 00:32:16  Yeah. I, love cinnamon rolls. My favorite dessert because you're not.

Michelle 00:32:21  Like, who doesn't?

Riley 00:32:22  Yeah. I'm like, a fun fact about me is I actually don't like chocolate, so I think, like the cinnamon rolls. That's my chocolate for a lot of people. But yeah. Cinnamon rolls. My safe haven. No. But before. Yeah. Definitely would restrict them. I probably went like two years without having one because I just labeled them magic bad. Right. Yeah. I actually went as like, so far as to make keto cinnamon rolls. Guess what? They suck. Yeah. Yeah. They were awful.

Riley 00:32:54  Yeah.

Michelle 00:32:54  Where's the sugar? Like cardboard.

Riley 00:32:56  Right. Yeah. And Omaha Bakery had, like, a keto section when I was doing keto, and they sold cinnamon rolls, and I tried them. No. Like, if I want a cinnamon roll, it's going to be Cinnabon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. but when I started Nourished and Free, I definitely, let myself have cinnamon rolls a little bit more. And, you know, nothing crazy, but, you know, I just would, And it was very freeing. I remember sometimes before this backtrack, like I was on keto or diet or whatever, and when someone gave me a cinnamon roll because they knew I liked them, I was like, pissed at them. I was like, why would you do this to me? I said, right. And then I remember one time I ate a fourth of the cinnamon roll for four days in a row because it was like part of my calorie, like, God, what a sad life to live.

Riley 00:33:54  so.

Michelle 00:33:55  Yeah, that's so sad.

Riley 00:33:57  Yeah. So I, when I started Nourishing Free, I definitely allowed myself to start having some cinnamon rolls. and once I had, you know, like 3 in 1 week, because I was finally, like a thank God, once I recognized, I was like, oh, that's a little bit much, like, this is not doing my body any favors. As in, like, feel like feeling wise, like I recognized I was like, I don't feel great after I stuffed the third cinnamon roll in my face for, you know, in the same week. Like, physically, I didn't feel amazing. That's when it kind of clicked for me of like, oh, I can have sweet treats, but maybe not as often because they don't physically make me feel great. Yeah. So yeah, I still consistently will have someone roll once or twice a month just because you know what's life without a cinnamon roll? I actually know my fiance baked them last night, but he burnt them.

Riley 00:34:55  Oh, that was so sad. Right.

Michelle 00:34:58  He's so close.

Riley 00:34:59  I know, so, so sad. But. Yeah. But, like, even now, like, the dessert at our wedding is literally going to be cinnamon rolls. Oh, I love that. Yeah. It's gonna be so great to have one and not care, you know? So.

Michelle 00:35:16  Yeah. How do you feel going into your wedding now like that? You've healed your relationship with food and your body?

Riley 00:35:25  Yeah, I feel a bit better for sure. I, I think something that scared me a lot beforehand was like the wedding dress portion, because, yeah, for like five years, my body was not the same weight for more than, like 3 or 4 months at a time like it was. And it wild difference. Like I'm not talking £10 difference like wild. so I was really nervous to like, go find a dress that I had to fit in a year later after alterations, things like that. but feeling a lot better now, and I, Yeah, I just can't wait now, like, I think I would have had such, like, reservations about it before due to how I look, but I'm excited to go dress shopping.

Riley 00:36:09  I know, you know, like, what I'm looking for. I think beforehand I always was like, I want a mermaid dress because I want to be in the perfect body, right? To like, show off it. And it's like, I don't want a mermaid dress, not because of my body, but it's just because not. It's not what I want. So that's also freeing. But. Yeah, just being able to, like, dream about it and not have like, that overlying like weight on it is, is super nice. So I'm pretty excited.

Michelle 00:36:38  And then you can like really enjoy the process and not be this super strong. I mean, it's going to be stressful anyway because you explain it. But yeah, but being able.

Riley 00:36:47  To enjoy it in the moment.

Michelle 00:36:48  Right. Yeah. Being able to enjoy that. And and also like just the day of I'm excited for you to be able to truly, like be present and not be worried about how does this look. And, you know, back to your story about when you would walk into the class in high school.

Michelle 00:37:03  Like, you could easily carry that same mentality with you today and then worry about what everybody is thinking about you when you walk down the aisle, and instead you're going to be just thinking about Noah and.

Riley 00:37:14  Not gonna think about it. Yeah. And, you know, like something that, like, definitely changed that mindset for me too, is just reminding myself, like every single person. You know, when I walked into the classroom or when someone was walking down the aisle, every single person is thinking about how they look. Yeah, in that moment, they're like, yeah, because especially at a wedding, right. They're like putting on a dress for the first time. Probably. They're like like that. It's just good to remind yourself of that where it's like, no one cares, truly.

Michelle 00:37:45  We're all inherently very selfish and more focused on ourselves than other people.

Riley 00:37:50  1,000%? Yeah. So that's been a good shift in mindset for sure.

Michelle 00:37:55  Yeah, I love that, I love that. So any words of advice for anybody thinking about getting off of the yoyo roller coaster and focusing more on their relationship with food and body image and their mindset?

Riley 00:38:11  Yeah.

Riley 00:38:11  Well, one. Join, nourish and free if you can.

Michelle 00:38:16  I'd love to have you.

Riley 00:38:17  Even like the the ebooks is a great start too. Yeah. I think, yeah, the major things for me is just putting the weight aside, throw the scale away, do something with the scale, because it's always going to be like the the bully, like you said. and I think, like, just big major advice to start with is your focus on the hunger and fullness, cuz I think that's like, what truly changed it all for me. because once you start listening to your body, then you and your body are on the same team and you're not fighting against each other.

Michelle 00:38:53  I love that. And yeah, if you need help with like, restoring those cues or figuring out what it feels like because, you know, like we mentioned, a lot of times those can get thrown off or they can stop being sent accurately. you know, it's a chemical in your body that's communicating that can stop communicating.

Michelle 00:39:12  So if you need help with that, that's one of the things that we do right off the bat in Nourished and Free. but also like you mentioned, the ebooks, I'll put those in the in the show notes. There are practical things that you can do that are in especially ebook. Two of my ebooks set that will help you with restoring those keys as well. But yeah, that's a great, great place to start.

Riley 00:39:36  Yeah, I just think investment is the the biggest thing you can do, whether it be time, money, like yeah it just it makes sense and like even I remember still from like beginning the program you talked about how like nourish and free of course is an investment. But I know I saved money. I know I saved money in the long haul from all the stupid diets that I was doing, the gym memberships I didn't want to be a part of. right. yeah. So it's an investment, but it was a thousand and 10,000% worth it, for sure.

Michelle 00:40:15  Yeah.

Michelle 00:40:16  Love it. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story and giving us the gift of your time today. Any other thoughts or last words or things that you wanted to say that you haven't said yet?

Riley 00:40:28  No, I think I said it all I think I made it clear. Invest your time, your money into doing something good for yourself because it's exhausting. The dieting, the yo yoing, it's exhausting. And I don't want anyone to live in that world.

Michelle 00:40:42  Yeah. Me either. Yeah, well, if you want to join, Nourish and Free. Feel free to fill out an application. we'll put the link to that in the show notes as well. And come hang out with Riley and I in Nourish and Free. Riley will be here to support you as well. And we'd love to to be a part of your journey and help you get to a place where you can finally be free from the yo yoing and feeling like a slave to the scale, or a slave to food, or being bullied by food in the scale.

Michelle 00:41:14  We'd love to have you. All right. Thank you so much, Riley. Wow.