Bonus Episode: Nicholas's Birth Story

This one’s a little different from the usual Nourished & Free® vibes because today I’m joined by my husband, Vincent, to share the story of our son Nicholas’s birth. 🩵

If you’ve listened to Penelope’s and Cillian’s birth story episodes, you know I love recording these—not just to remember all the details for us, but because you all seem to love the wild, emotional, funny, real-life rollercoaster that birth always is. And trust me… Nicky’s story was a ride.

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

🩵 The dramatic season leading up to his birth (house stress, business dips, and oh yeah—Vin rupturing his Achilles 6 weeks before my due date 🤦‍♀️)
🩵 What it’s like to be overdue (by my standards) and totally over it
🩵 The Miles Circuit, bloody shows, and the weird joy of finally being in pain
🩵 Why I was pushing Vincent around the hospital in a wheelchair while contracting to Justin Bieber
🩵 My experience in the low-intervention suite and choosing an unmedicated birth
🩵 The terrifying moment Nicholas was born and didn’t breathe right away—and the hours he spent in the NICU
🩵 How that season of struggle finally turned into a turning point for our family

It’s raw, it’s real, it’s emotional, and it’s also filled with laughter (because how else do you cope when you’re both miserable but also bringing new life into the world?).

Whether you’re a birth story junkie, a fellow mama who gets it, a friend who's curious, or you just love hearing how God reigns & rules over all, this one’s for you.

JUMP TO:

00:00 – Pregnancy Recap
01:11 – When Life Piled On: house stress, business dip, and Vin's ruptured Achilles
9:41 – The Longest Two Weeks Ever
14:52 – Finally, Labor Begins
18:52 – Wheelchair Laps + Justin Bieber
32:29 – The Low-Intervention Suite
33:56 – Transition + An Unwelcome Surprise
40:49 – Twenty Minutes of Chaos: contractions, yelling, and helpless sidelines
43:40 – The Scariest Silence
53:13 – Meeting Our Angel Boy

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Miles Circuit

Transcript

Michelle Yates (00:00)
Welcome to Nourished and Free the podcast where mental health means physical health, food guilt gets ghosted, and toxic wellness advice gets roasted. We're doing none of those things today, I'll be honest with you. This is a bonus episode to talk about the birth of our third child, Nicholas Bonus episode.

Nicky my main man. baby Nicky. He joined us on February 11th, 2025. We've done the first story of our last two kids as well. Really, I'm to be honest with you, this is mostly just for us. But you get to listen to it if you want to. I've had a lot of...

people actually really enjoy these episodes. So it's for you. This is for the people. It's for you too. And it's fun. think birth stories are actually really fun to listen to because they're just wild. mean, they're always different. You never know what's going to happen. I feel like Nicky's was unique in his own way too compared to the other two kiddos. And yeah, it was fun. So where do we begin? I mean,

I suppose we should well take it back to pregnancy. How was my pregnancy with Nicky? Okay, well hang on before you answer that how was my pregnancy with him before the final two weeks?

A little dramatic. little dramatic. Yeah, a little dramatic. I was like, when is this lady gonna accept that she is pregnant? Just a lot of complaining. Well, OK, again, before the last, I feel like 90 % of my complaining was in the last two weeks. Yeah, maybe. I really, I...

such a blur, but it was fine. mean, your first trimester was a little tough. Just the fatigue was so tough. I felt like sleeping all the time. Yeah, that was probably the most that out of the other two compared to the other two pregnancies that you had like, I'm not going to that. I'm not doing that. I'm staying home. I'm staying in bed like

You go. You do the thing. So I got to hang out with the big kids. Yeah, you did. Got to hang out and spend some good quality time with he was born, too? Kind of. I mean, after he was born was, I mean. Oh, we have so there's actually now that I'm like, because, OK, this has been he's six months old at the time of this recording.

Remembering a lot his pregnancy actually There was a lot going on in our life Yeah, there was a lot that happened. It was a tough time. It was a tough time. No wonder I'm like ⁓ blocked it all out. So we decided to move

yeah, we decided to move. That was in September of 2024. Yeah. So you were you were a few months pregnant. I was going into the second trimester, which was like a good time to be moving at any point in my pregnancy. The second trimester was when I should move. So that was good. You were feeling good. Good timing so, yeah, the next couple of months, it was like.

Okay, we didn't sell the houses very quickly, but stay optimistic. It hadn't gotten too bad yet. We were just trying to stick with it. We love the house that ⁓ we are now currently in. Love it. We were loving it. So worth it. We're enjoying that. We felt like we made a really good decision to do that. It was right for our family.

And then as we went into the colder months of the year, so we're getting into November and December, we're getting closer to the delivery date. And yeah, the stress is piling on. The house is not sold yet. It's definitely not going to sell during this time of the year. is not known for being the best time to sell a Yeah. So we've got pregnancy. We've got a house that's been on the market for a while.

And then, um, business was also down. That was stressful. Yeah. couldn't, don't really know what that was world was really weird at the time. was when Trump just got reelected. Everybody was on edge. Everybody was on edge. So much like uncertainty.

then came the real just kick you when you're down. Oh, man, we were like 20, 25. We're going to just have new life. Yes. It's going to be like we're going to sell the house in the new year. We're going to bring Nicky. Like, we're going to get past this season.

But God was like, no, there's still a little bit left in this season. He's like, I'm not done with this season for you yet. And on January 2nd. That's the timing. January 2nd. We're so hopeful for the new year. And on January 2nd at basketball practice, I'm a coach. a basketball coach. I was playing with the boys that I coach.

and I ruptured my Achilles. Ruptured, by the way, is like fully snapped. Yes. You would think the language would be torn. Ruptured is when it's fully separates. Someone snipped my Achilles. A ghost came in. A ghost. And yeah, I ruptured my Achilles. I didn't know what had happened at the time. I knew that I didn't.

you know, sprained my ankle or something. This was different. This was worse. I couldn't move my foot. It was, it was bad. had to be, you know, helped to the car. I had to be driven home, all this. And, ⁓ knew that we were, I had a feeling. I was like, that, that's gotta be what a torn Achilles feels like. Like, this has gotta be it. I don't know what else. and yeah, that was the diagnosis the next day, fully ruptured Achilles.

And then they signed me up for surgery. Five days later, I was in surgery. ⁓ It all happened so fast. And I don't think we had a moment to talk about it or think about what this meant for us. And this time... was very much just like, we don't have a choice. This is just... This is it. It became a reality so quickly that like, Dad can't walk.

Yeah, that that doesn't dad just like lays on the couch now all the time. Yeah, this is what that does You cannot walk and you will not be able to walk for a very long time And I am due in a month for a while So as far as timing goes couldn't be worse Couldn't be Almost better Yeah, yeah, because I was due. I think it was about six weeks out. Yeah, it was it was six weeks before I was due. Yep

And so being able to get in for surgery, the surgeon predicted it'd be about a four to six week recovery before you'd be walking again, right? It's supposed to be six to eight weeks, but you boy, you know how your boy works. I fast-tracked that. Yeah, how do we not do that? How do we speed this up a little bit?

And I did. I really did though. Which like shout out to your surgeon. He was like, ⁓ yeah, yeah, we gotta get you walking. Yep, you got a baby. Totally. You got a baby coming. Yeah, so they got me in and I spent two weeks in a stint. Yeah. Two weeks. Splint. Splint. Stint. Stint. Splint. Splint. Stint is for heart. Splint is for foots. So. ⁓

Two weeks in a splint, or maybe it was one. I think it was one, and then they put you in a cast. In a cast. And then you went to the boot. So. A week after that. One week in a splint, one week in a cast, and then four weeks in a boot. Four to five weeks in a boot, I think. And the boot had these, I had to walk on like a heel. So I literally walked one of my feet.

walked on like a two and a half, three inch like heel, and then they would take it down a half inch to an inch, you know, every week or two. And so super uncomfortable to walk in, not fun. Like I did it like walking. wasn't like this new found freedom. It was just like more pain. Yeah. It was just like, this just isn't even worth it sometimes. So still wasn't really walking that much. And then, um, Nicky was born.

on the 11th and I stayed in that boot for another week or so. And then I walking. I was limping around like a zombie. when Nicky was born, were able to walk. I could walk in the Yeah. Like way better than I could not in the boot. So it was actually kind of a step backwards when I got out of the boot because I had to, I was like more careful and like, wasn't as easy to walk out. So I was limping around like a zombie for

another like three weeks to probably a month after that. Yeah. And you were on big kid duty. So that's what was going on leading up to the birth. Yeah. During pregnancy. Yeah. Emotionally just a really like challenging season. Yeah.

And I think a part of why I was so miserable those last two weeks was because of that, because we had this huge long season of things just being disappointing and hard and not ideal. And then my last...

trimester, the six weeks leading up to giving birth, I am a whale at this point. My back is killing me and my husband can't walk. And so that was physically just very you know, lifting up the kids, washing the dishes, like the littlest things

I was expecting I had in my head with the other two kids, came Penelope was at 39 weeks, Cillian came at 30 just shy of 38 weeks. And so I had in my head this is my third baby. He is probably going to come at that like 38 week mark.

He did not come at that. did not. And he was just so cozy in there. And I was like the second that that 38 week mark passed, I just like, I don't know if I was depressed or what, but something switched. And I was like, I don't think people are that angry when they're depressed.

Yeah, I was just angry. was angry. I don't know what it was, but I was angry. You were there. We also had friends who were like giving birth around the same time. Yeah. And it wasn't, gosh, like I wasn't angry at them. It was just like making it harder and harder to be like, where is mine? Like, get this thing out of me, you know, this thing being my adorable little baby that I want to hold and.

like you're just physically uncomfortable at that point and I never been that pregnant. Yeah. Well Penelope is 39 weeks but past the 39 then I'd never been that pregnant that is really pregnant they're growing a pound a week at that point. Was she really 39? I thought she was 38. She was like right at 39. She I went into labor

right before the 39 mark and then by the time she was born because I in labor for so labor for three days. 28 hours is the same time. yeah, I mean, that was like a, it was grief.

Every single moment of every single day that a new moment had passed that I had still not gone into labor like just I don't know. It was very much like God. What are you doing in this season? Are you do I really need to work on patience that much like come on? Apparently I did and It wasn't until I don't know I kept like

I also have this mentality that if I suffer, I've suffered so much that I deserve this and I deserve to have a break. And I was really excited for my break where it was like, nobody can deny that a woman who just gave birth needs to lay in bed. And I was really looking forward to that because it was a forced arrest that nobody could take away from me.

And I was really happy to help out in any way I could when Vin ruptured his Achilles. Of course, I'm so happy to help out, but it was also very hard. And so I was excited to rest. And the more that got delayed, the more miserable I was. I was just like, when is it going to be my turn to lay in bed and to relax? And so I think there was some

There was some selfishness in there. There was also just humanness in there and just fatigue. And then the element too of just like, I'm so excited to meet my baby. I want to hold my baby. And he's still not here. Like what is going on? Did you have any resentment towards me? Honestly, I don't think I did. Liar.

I don't think so. Did I express resentment? You never did. No, I felt like we even had a really like fun time like just being kind of miserable together. Well, we did. It was like oddly kind of a sweet time because we were both so miserable that it was like, I can't be resentful towards you because you just ruptured your Achilles. How can I blame you for that? For not being able to walk? And you were 40 weeks pregnant. You were like, yeah.

It's like life's pretty bad right now, isn't it? You're like, yeah, it's pretty bad. Yeah, like it was just like you couldn't try to keep score because both of us would lose. Yeah. It was just like we're both miserable. cannot be mad at the other one for not doing enough because we're physically so not doing well. Yeah. OK, so we should get to the night of. Yeah. Yeah. So.

The night of, I mean, I had been crying like every single day for a week leading up to the night of. Which by the way, you might not know this, but like for every day that you were like, I want to be in labor so bad. Like you want to have this baby. have just like back of my mind, I'm like, do not have this baby today. Like wait, just wait another day. Please wait another day. Like I'm not ready. For your recovery. It was like the longer this, like you prolong this, like the better I will be.

So I was like, do not have that baby today. You're like, need to this baby today. I'm going to freak out. can prepare you for that level of desperation. Yeah. I mean, it is something. Yeah. It is something. I can't describe it. OK, so one of my friends, had had a baby.

three weeks before, a few, God bless your soul, I had a few friends that constantly were checking in on me and I was constantly negative and I just love them dearly for their love for me and their kindness. And anyway, so this friend had sent over something called the Miles Circuit. It was a YouTube video. She was like, have you done this yet? And I was like, no, I'll do anything at this point. And by the way, I had...

talked with my midwife that morning. So this was a Monday, I was going to be 40 weeks pregnant on Wednesday, Thursday, something like that. Valentine's Day was Thursday. So my I talked to my midwife that morning. And I was like, we had tried to strip my membranes or sweep my membranes.

the Friday before. Sweep the leg. I hope somebody gets that reference. And she wasn't able to because he wasn't positioned right. He was like nestled into my hip. And so I think that's probably why it took so long for him to come was because of just his positioning. And so they couldn't sweep my membranes, which really disappointed me because I wanted to go into the labor, go into labor over the weekend.

But then that was kind of like off the table. She was like, just hang out on your birthing ball, bounce the whole weekend away as best as you can. And so I did that, but then nothing was really happening. So then Monday, I get this YouTube video for something called the Miles Circuit. And I suppose I should probably link that in the show notes for anybody that is curious. ⁓ I don't know, evidence-wise, if there's really anything to it. But this could totally be coincidental and just the timing of it all.

But basically it's like these deep stretches that you do that's supposed to get baby into position, which I knew I needed. And the birthing ball didn't seem to be doing much. And I was doing all the like hip rocking, like I was doing all the things I was supposed to be doing and nothing was happening. And so then I do these exercises on the video and some of it too is like walking sideways up the stairs. And you can also do it like on a curb outside called curb walking where you just like.

You know, you're basically trying to jostle the baby down. And ⁓ that was in the afternoon, like three or four p.m. And then by 11 p.m. that night, I finally was in labor. And that like when I tell you the relief, I've never been so happy to be in pain. I was like waiting for more pain. Like, can this be more pain? I was excited every time it got more painful because I was like, yes, we're doing this. And that

is why God designed it the way he did. I am telling you, nine months of misery, you are so willing. I feel like being pregnant for nine months is actually God's kindness on us because otherwise, why else would you, like how else are you supposed to be willing to go through that much pain? Anyway, so finally I go into labor at 11 ish, something like that.

Yeah, I had had like a bloody show and stuff like that, like 10. And I called my mom. I was like, hey, just in case, like, let's have you come and spend the night because I finally have a bloody show. haven't had that yet. And I think it's like within 24 hours, you're supposed to go into labor if you have a bloody show. Yeah. So that that was like around 10 or 11. And you're like, hey, I think I'm going into labor. Mm hmm. You remember what I said? Do I have time to take a nap? Yeah.

Can I take a quick nap? And I think that just shows the difference between like first and third. Totally. You in labor? Okay, I'm gonna go like hit the snooze real quick. I'm gonna try to get some energy. Yeah, I'm smart, honestly. Smart. Yeah, it didn't work. didn't work. Because then like after like a minute like then your mom was there, you know, pretty quickly and I was like...

All right, I guess I'll get up. I took a shower and got ready and like had some coffee, I think, too. Yeah. Yeah. Then by midnight, right? You were like, all right, let's do this. Let me see. We left around midnight. I might have it on my notes here. Yeah, it was was It says labor started at 11 p.m. Went to the hospital at 1 30 a.m. Water broke. Sure about that. yeah. I'll get into that.

I am sure about that. I this down pretty immediately so that I wouldn't forget. Yeah, so labor started at 11 went to the hospital 130. So I tried to like really bide my time. Okay, so with this labor and delivery, you listen to Cillian's birth episode, you know that the epidural didn't work in time. And so I essentially had a non medicate or unmedicated labor with him. And so this time I was like,

Okay, I'm gonna like plan for that now because the last time I was like, I don't know, I'm not necessarily planning for it like open hand about it. I mean, to be fair, that's how I am about all of my quote unquote plans with labor, which I think you should be. And so that was like, the goal was let's do unmedicated because I actually really enjoyed that recovery. It was so much like, quicker, I felt so much better immediately after baby came and I was like walking around and it's just

And I don't know how much of that too, it just because the labor was quick. But anyway, I'm not anti or pro epidural. I think do whatever helps you get the baby out. And there's pros and cons to both. But for this time, I was like, it's gonna be our last kid. I kind of just wanna like experience it the way that God intended us to in the early days, I guess, even though I am really grateful for modern medicine, I think that's God given too. So.

for it and I was gonna wait as long as I could at home and that ended up being yeah only two and a half hours which was expected because Cillian was seven hours and they always say you know the more kids you have the more quicker they usually come so I was expecting this one would probably be around seven hours I really stood my head that was my expectation like I shouldn't expect shorter than that otherwise I might be disappointed so

Yeah, we stayed as long as we could. And then it got to a point where I was like, you know what, I don't want to be too close to delivery that I'm like stressed out about if we're going to get to the hospital in time. I'd like to have a little wiggle room. So we we drove and the hospital is only like, I don't know, seven minutes away. Super easy to get to. And I will say I have a I have a memory of

I had a birth playlist put together of basically just like all my favorite songs, a mix of nostalgia, like there was some Akon on there. It's like that. Yes. And Justin Bieber. And then there was like new and old JB. And then we had Billie Eilish. And that is what I have a very vivid memory of was listening to. I think it was Chihiro off of her new album.

on the way to the hospital. So anytime I hear that song, I think about that. And I was like, totally just in my zone, turn the music up. I'm like, okay, here we go. Let's do this. And that's a fun memory for me because I love Billie Eilish and I love that album. And it was starting to snow. It was obviously dark because 1.30 AM and middle of February. So it was cold.

and we get to the hospital and it's like dead very quiet very quiet very peaceful so they they don't feel they check me and i'm at like i don't know what they said like a three or something i don't remember

of the stuff, but they didn't feel comfortable admitting me yet because they didn't want me to get admitted and then I'm taking up a room for me to not have a baby for another two days. In some sense, I get it because my water hadn't broken yet. If my water had broken, they would have admitted me. I'm like, this is my third kid. I have been progressing. I know that I'm going to have this baby soon. I'm like...

It's a little gaslighty. It's a little gaslighty. And this had happened every time with my labors was the most that my water had ever broken before I got to the hospital was with Penelope where it was a small leak. And even that they were like, are you sure though? I was like, I'm not because this is my first kid and it was just a little bit, but I don't know how much is it supposed to be. I thought Cillian's was like pretty, pretty major. He was surfing out when he came out.

I guess it happened as he was born. Yeah. So that is super gaslighting when they're like, but your water hasn't broken. And I'm like, yes, that's true. But also, let me tell you about all these other things that are clear signs of labor anyway. they had us in triage for a little bit. And this is probably like the best memory ever of this birth was our time in triage.

Yeah, it was pretty funny. I'm going to hand it off to you. So as you know, I had a rupture of Achilles. Well, it was not.

Well, it was still ruptured. had, you know, still... were post-op. was post-op. ⁓

They had said they told Michelle that it'd be a good idea if you walked around and I was like that's gonna be an issue. Yeah they wanted to see how much I could progress. so once you walk around take some laps and I was like actually um and so I was like hey I had an idea um how about you get us a wheelchair for me.

And I was, you know, explained the whole thing. I mean, I'm in a boot. I'm in a boot. you know, so I explained it all. And she was she she wasn't like, Oh, yeah, for sure. Like, totally. She was like, Oh, yeah, I'll get you a wheelchair. can do that. She's like, let me check. Go see. Come on. Come on now. So she gives us the wheelchair. We start and I was like, Hey, please tell.

the rest of the nursing staff on the floor, like what this situation is. And then Michelle and I walked around. Which by the way, I was totally fine with this. needed something to do. And it sounded it actually sounded really helpful to just push them around in a wheelchair, kind of take my mind off of it, but also be productive at the same time and give me something to is by far.

Again, we had the playlist going. There was definitely Justin Bieber on while we were lapping around. And that is my favorite memory because it was so quiet. It was pretty dark. They didn't have like all the hospital lights on because it was the middle of the night. And we would pass some other women. Yeah, there's some people walking and they give us the funniest looks because here I am.

this woman in labor in a hospital gown with my big old belly stopping for contractions in the middle of the hall and I'm pushing my husband in a wheelchair and I just think that has got to be the only time they will ever see that in their whole lives. Yeah, I mean there's just things like that that only happen in like movies or tv shows. like it just doesn't happen in real life you know.

Yeah, but here I am. My life is a movie at times. feel like and I owned it, you was like, yeah, yeah, this is the deal. This is who we are. It was so funny. This is our circumstance. And magical because it was starting to just like the softest little flutters outside of snow. Yeah, it was really beautiful. Just like glittery in the lights of the hospital parking lot. And it was yeah, it was nice.

And so, you know, don't know, five laps is all it took. then I'm like, not much bleeding down my leg. I was like, hey, I we're good. So then they admitted me to the hospital that I delivered in had a room that was called the low intervention suite, which was basically if you plan to do an unmedicated birth, they would put you in this suite that had a queen size bed or was a king size. I don't know. It was a bigger bed.

Yeah, it was a big one that you could labor in. And then they had a big old tub if you wanted to do water birth. They had just like a nice atmosphere. They purposely kept it really dim. I think there was even like some fake candles and tons of different birthing balls, peanut balls, anything you can need for a quote unquote natural birth, even though I think all birds are natural in a way.

Unless you're giving birth out of a robot. don't know. So unmedicated and unmedicated. I don't know. I think it's kind of a silly word, like a natural birth. Anyway, so I don't know what I saw. didn't see anything. Wow. Come on. is your third time. They don't. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get better from my point of view.

So by the time we get in there, things start picking up pretty fast. ⁓ And I do think being in that environment was super helpful for me. I was not able to chill very much in triage because it's like the bright lights, a super small room.

There's absolutely nothing there to help me with like being comfortable. But once we got into the suite, it was so nice and I felt like it was like home away from home in a way. And with the security of knowing if anything happened, I have somebody there that can help me. And so I really loved that. I really, really loved that. And I'm so glad that that was an option for me that time around.

And yeah, we kept vibing to my weird mix of nostalgia slash present day music slash worship music. Such a bizarre. didn't like I didn't do a good job of sorting the songs. It was kind of just on shuffle. So one minute it'd be like this beautiful, like very meditative like worship song. And then the next it would be smacked up by a con. And then he's like.

Do you want, like, let's say there's a point where you're like, okay, so when you're delivering and he's coming, do you want this type of music to be on it? Smack that thumb on the floor. And I'm like, no. What's the birth song? What is the birth song? Let me just cue a couple up here. And when I put that playlist together, I was thinking those types of songs would be more like early labor.

just FYI for anybody like what were you doing putting that on your playlist but anyway yes I still have the playlist on my Spotify and I will have it forever and ever because now all those songs make me think of my sweet baby boy coming into the world but anyway I was thinking I would try for a water birth this time around and so I spent a lot of time laboring in the tub which was quite lovely it helped a lot with the contractions

I don't know when we probably got into that suite around like 230 or three. And because they broke my this was totally voluntary, by the way, I there's going to be some people like they broke your water I consented I asked for it. Relax. wanted it. No, you didn't. Yeah, got in there. was like, let me do this. Ladies, aside.

I got this and I did it. So no, he did not. So anyway, my midwife keep it as natural as possible. know, yeah, super natural, super ⁓ medieval. so my midwife shout out to Laura. She delivered Cillian too She's awesome. I'm really happy that I got to have her again.

She, yeah, was like checking progress and she was like, you know what, I bet you if we broke your water, because it was just like not coming down. ⁓ And to be fair, if I had given it more time, we probably would have, but like you have the context now of how desperate I was to have this baby. So soon, no amount of soon was soon enough. And so I was just like, I don't care if you can like, like, what can we do to speed this along?

Yeah, anyway, she told me that if we broke my water, he'd probably come right out. And I was like, great. I gave me, I had to take a second because I knew that the second she broke my water, I'd probably go right into transition, which is the worst part of labor. Anybody that's been through it, anybody who's not and you hope to have kids someday, it's awesome. You're gonna love it.

So I... I hate when people try to do that about pregnancy and about birthing and they're like, don't talk about how bad it is,

Maybe resist the horror stories, like when you're talking to a nine-month pregnant woman. Maybe not a good time to get into whatever traumatic thing happened to you during your birth. But for the most part, I think pretty much everything else should be on the table. Like the fact that transition freaking sucks. It's really hard. So it's when you go from, I'm assuming anybody listening to this has had babies because you-

generally don't really care about hearing birth stories unless you've had babies and you get it. But anyway, if you have it, you your All my boys love these, so I don't know what you're talking about. If you have it you're listening, I hope that you are enjoying So transition is when you go from seven centimeters to 10. And it is the hardest part, but it's also the shortest. And so when she proposed breaking my water, I was like, OK, yep.

just give me a second. I don't know how much, maybe 30 seconds, maybe a minute. I don't really know. But then I was like, okay, do it. And she broke my water. And then sure enough, the next contraction I had was a thousand times worse. I would just like to say she did not calmly say, okay, let's do it. You were like,

It's like, could not have been ready. Maybe you took the second to like, make sure you were sure you wanted to do well, the beauty of perception, because time did slow down in that moment for me. Yeah. And I had I did have a moment that felt long of. OK, this is like this is going to really suck, but it's almost over if I do this. So it's funny. This is why I like.

doing this with you. It's funny to hear your perception versus mine. So yeah, broke it. And then turns out there was some meconium in the water. So he had passed stool in there. And so that was a concern. But my midwife was super cool about it.

and it didn't worry me too much. ⁓ I considered birthing in the tub, kind of like started to, and then for whatever reason I was just like, I don't wanna do this. Even though it had been great when I was prior to transition, just something about that, just, there is no rhyme or reason to what you need in that moment when you're in the most pain in your life.

Nothing is comfortable. Some things make it less comfortable though. And for whatever reason, the tub just wasn't doing it for me. So I got out after like two contractions, I think. I don't know what song was on at that time, but you couldn't really hear because it was probably banging. It was probably a banger. I don't know. At that point, I was yelling and releasing a lot of tension through my voice, if you know what I mean. So.

I crawled on my hands and knees basically from my memory to the bed. No, we walked over. Stumbled maybe. Yeah, we got you over there. And then like the second I got on the bed, I was just like ready to push. yeah, I mean, how many minutes do you think that five minutes maybe from when the water was broken? Oh, you know what? think I have. It felt like a long time this time.

He was born at 518 and they broke my water at Fort, so was 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. It was a long 20 minutes for me.

great opportunity to kick it over to you. yeah, I felt pretty hopeless like in this time. This time around, was like, I can't, there's nothing I can do. there was like that 20, like Cillian was just like, bing, bop, boom.

Like you were like, can you get off your phone and hold my hand? I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? Oh, he's here. Like it was like, felt like that fast. And then Penelope's is this very long drown out process. And it was like, you know, I was just trying to stay alive for you. But this one was just like, okay, we're, pushing for, you know, 15, 20 minutes here. And, um, well, no, I wasn't pushing for that long.

You're just having a contraction. Yeah, was just transition. Well, it was a, it seemed like that. It was just like, it was a very violent, loud, kind of chaotic time. And I'm like, want to help. I can't really do anything though. So it was just kind of weird to kind of be, standby. I don't remember what you had me even do. think I was just by your side. I think I was just holding your hand. ⁓

I don't even know if you were doing hip squeezes at that point because that like just is pointless at that point. Yeah. Yeah. The hip squeezes are so nice. If you don't know what that is, look it up and you're expecting. Look it up because they are super nice to have whoever is there to support you doing hip squeezes during a contraction. It helps. I mean, nothing makes the pain go away except an epidural.

But the hip squeezes helped and I don't even think you were doing it at that point, because I was like, there's no point. I actually probably would have preferred you didn't touch me at that point. Yeah, I don't think I was doing much. I was really just kind of standing by at this time. I think at that point it was just like hearing you all be like, good job, like cheering for me, not being like, why are you yelling so much, you weirdo? Yeah. Because I was the pregnant woman down the hall screaming like that was me. And I never thought I'd be.

It's a pretty understandable There was a few days after that I was like I'm not proud of that I should have handled that better, but I'm Well, cuz I don't know so loud Michelle like relax You think so like tough on you're like so critical I know

I know. think you're allowed to yell. I think I'm just embarrassed by how loud I No other times though, you keep your voice down, okay? But at that point, have free pass. You have free pass to yell if you Appreciate it. So you push, you do a great job, and... It did take a few more pushes than Cillian, but it was still only like five. You did it. He came out and the little guy...

didn't want to breathe. Yeah. Simple as that. He was not ready to breathe. Yeah. He got, I heard one little, one little half yell out of him, heard his voice just barely. And there's a moment in time, I don't know how many seconds or minutes it takes for you to get to this place, but you get to, you cross over from

being like, okay, he's just being a little stubborn and normal. He's not coming out crying all the way, whatever, maybe. To being like, okay, when is this baby gonna breathe? And is he breathing? What is happening, right? So the nurses and the doctor, they're moving.

a million miles an hour, like they're going so fast and they're just doing what everything, like what they need to do to make sure your baby lives. And there's a part of that that I really appreciate and I want them to do that. Then there's another part where like no one is saying anything, no one is freaking out, people are just doing their jobs. What does that mean?

So you are coming off of this high of just pushing this baby out of your body, and I'm here just with a bloody stump of a foot. And just like, is anybody gonna talk to me? Is anybody gonna tell me what's going on? Like my baby's not breathing. He's over there. They're doing their jobs, and they're keeping it cool, but.

Are they keeping it cool because everything's okay? Or are they keeping it cool because they can't show emotion and they can't freak us out? Either way, I'm getting freaked out pretty much. It took a long, yeah. And Laura was great at reassuring me, like, yep, he just needs some help. He'll be okay. He just needs some help. ⁓ so they were, you know, he did not want to breathe on his own. They had to like do the...

the things, all the things. I don't even know what they're called, but they had to do all the things. And eventually he just couldn't do it. So they had to take him to the NICU

⁓

That was weird to have just done that. Just put all of that effort in. I'm gonna get emotional about this. And they just kind of take my baby away.

when you give birth after nine months of waiting to meet your little one, the best moment, and this is what we were talking about, like trying not to scare pregnant women. What I always like to say to pregnant women is that giving birth is going to be the most favorite moment in your life because when they put that baby on your chest, there's absolutely nothing like it.

And I didn't get that. And that really sucked. I was just laying there bleeding on my back with my legs sprawled and everybody's looking at my vagina. And, ⁓ you know, just like did the impossible with my body and ⁓ didn't get my prize.

didn't get to have my prize. So that made me really sad. But I think like I didn't really process it for a long time because I just was worried about him and I wanted to make sure he was okay. And honestly, I was just really grateful that we were there so that he could be okay. And I knew they'd take care of him and it'd be fine. I think the Lord gave me a lot of peace about him and I wasn't like, like honestly in the room, I was pretty chill. ⁓

Vinnie went with Nicky to be with him and I'm glad he did. But then there was just kind of this like, well, who's here for me now? And it was just like, didn't take long for it to just be me and one nurse just hanging and a nurse that I like didn't even know because they just did a shift change. And I'm just like, what the hell? Like I just had a baby and I just did this without medication. Like, where's my party? Where's my baby? And...

I also hemorrhaged after that, so I had a ton of clotting and they had to do pitocin. So you know what really just pissed me off was that I went that whole time without getting an IV and then I had to get a freaking IV after he was born. I had to get an IV put in because I had to get pitocin to get all the clots out. again, like grateful for the medical staff for.

keeping me safe and keeping me healthy so I could go see my baby but still I'm just a little bitter about that IV. This was really suck. And you know because of that they keep you for 60 minutes and then I think it was even longer than that that I ended up having to stay in the same delivery room. Still couldn't go see him. Just like getting like a...

Occasional update from Vin because he doesn't even know what's going on. I don't know talk about your experience going to the NICU going with him

⁓ I, I went into my defense, into defense mode when I don't want to deal with what's ever happening in reality. And I took a nap.

you took a nap? I took a nap. Yeah. Yeah, I took a nap. I was pretty tired.

I can't remember if I talked to the doctor before or after I took my nap, but he kind of put my mind at peace. was like, your doctor or like your baby is going to be fine. ⁓ I think the meconium was a concern for them in that moment. And so they like ruled that out. And he was like, you know, there could be this or that, like, it just be more things that we would have to do. But.

He's like, the end of the day, like, your baby is going to be perfectly fine. And so I think once he said that, I was like, OK, I'm going to go to sleep. I had seen him. I gave him a kiss. I changed his diaper already. I couldn't hold him. I could just look at him. And so I looked at him. But I was just like so exhausted, know, mentally and emotionally and physically, just all the way that you can be exhausted.

Yeah, I took my nap. I I texted you a little bit here and there. It felt like a 12-hour nap, but I think it was like 45 minutes, probably. Maybe a couple hours. It was probably like 45 minutes or an hour. Yeah. So yeah, that was the NICU. And then you finally were able to come up. Yeah, I want look back at the picture because it was...

I think it was like four hours. It was four hours before you came up. Yeah, I know that for a fact. So it was four hours before I finally got to meet him. Yeah. Yeah. So I think I had held him maybe before that. can't remember. No, I don't think you had. No. Yeah. No. So just had to like held his hand. Yeah. So, yeah, Nick, you was, you know, kind of weird. was ⁓

was weird because our baby was like kind of, he was kind of out of place there. the biggest baby there. Yeah, most all the nurses up there, they're like, we don't get babies this big up here. Even this healthy, like, and then after like a couple of hours, they're like, he doesn't need to be here. Actually, by the time I got up there, he was not needing help with breathing anymore. Yeah, it was that quick. Yeah. So it was a, yeah.

but he was still on the feeding tube. They wanted to be sure that he, that took longer to just establish like, yes, he doesn't need this. Yeah. Do you see him? Are you looking at him? Like he's fine, right? So, yeah. And also, because a lot of people want to know baby's like birth weight and stats and stuff. We don't know because they took his weight, but the next weight that he got,

suggests that the first week was totally off. It was like, I don't even know, eight eight or something, I think. Yeah. And then the next week was in the sevens the next day, like a full pound less. And that was after he had been pumped full of two feeding and he was nursing fine. We didn't have any troubles nursing.

And so the pediatrician and I looking through that were like, don't think that was accurate. And it makes sense because there was such a scuffle, you know, to get him to breathe and everything. So I don't think that was accurate. So I really don't know what he weighed when he was born. Which kind of sucks. So we spent half a day there in the NICU and then we got transferred.

and he was still technically NICU status they just let him come into the room like a yeah somewhat normal postpartum room with me yeah and that was the only yeah after that it was great he was fine we were able to i think we got some decent sleep a few hours here or there yeah overnight took naps yeah we took naps it was a pretty typical experience at the hospital

recovery wise, except that we had to be there, I think, like a full extra day because of the NICU status. And yeah, as parents of now our third baby, we're like, can we wrap this up? Especially since he was barely NICU status. Barely. Barely. So again, I'm so grateful. Like at the end of the day, I'm not going to be mad at somebody for making sure that my child is safe and healthy. I am. I'll be mad.

I'll be mad for you. I'm not. No, because they know more than I do about these things like. I don't know. They know more than I do about. Relapse rates or infections like they need to check the cultures like I respect the process, but it is like I'm excited to go home and I would like to be away from all the beeping and the pushing on my uterus and all that. But yeah.

Yeah, going to see him finally for the first time. Interesting experience. mean, I just immediately started crying and I hadn't cried yet. And I know, it's just a beautiful thing when you finally get to meet your baby. Yeah. But it was like also sad because he was hooked up to all these tubes and I couldn't hold them. And it was weird. It was really weird. I think that's OK that it was weird.

And that's probably pretty normal that a lot of people feel that way. I did get to hold him pretty soon, like pretty much right away. They, with all of his little cords gave him to me. So I've got a picture of that and just as sweet as can be, just an angel. really, yeah. He's kind of been, we've kind of nicknamed him that. We call him Angel. He's just the...

He's just the sweetest he's been happy easy go happy go lucky guys since besides the little Nick you think So easy ⁓ He is so chill so sweet and so smiley the second he started smiling learned how to smile he has not stopped Yeah, so we went out with a good one. Yeah. Yeah, and we needed that mm-hmm well, I hate to say needed because

I don't know, do we all really need anything but besides shelter and food, but you know what I mean, right? Like it's just from that emotionally heavy season of struggling, this is gonna be so dark, but I honestly expected at that point that I was just not gonna even leave the hospital with a baby. I figured something would happen. ⁓

So in a way, the whole like breathing issue was not that much of a surprise to me. It's like, yeah, that tracks. It's been a really bad season. So it tracks that this is just going to keep it's going to keep going, you know. But God said, no, am now done. I am now done. I now done with the season of stroke. I mean, it was still I don't feel like there was a day that that season ended. No season really.

goes that way, but that was like... do. I think it was the day he was born. Really? That is when it did get capped it off? Because then you started walking more... ⁓ and Nicky was there. We had our sweet little squish. I mean, it was great. It was great. It was awesome. really... yeah, I think you're right. I think we kind of described it as like, this feels like a big... Well, and then we sold the house. Big turning point. We sold the house a few months later, a month later, I think. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, so...

⁓ And then it was like the weather was starting to warm up and it was birthday season for us here at the Yates household and so it just got better and better and anyway, just interesting how life goes. Yeah, we've had a great season since he's been born. So yeah, huge blessing came at a came at a great time. Time where, yeah, I think you're right. I think we needed it. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a win. It a dub. Totally needed that dub. Yeah, it was nice to have. He was great. You were not pregnant anymore. I was on my two feet again, like on my own two feet again. And eventually we sold that house to which was a nice, you know, kind of bonus in the end. But the Lord had even brought us to a really good place even before that. That was no longer like I.

go probably go to say an idol for us. Yeah. Selling that house. So, you know, life worked out. The Lord had us in his hands and yeah, it was great to be a part of that and go through that together. Yeah. We learned a lot about our about each other, about ourselves. We did. And and we got through it. mean, I'll tell you the thing about hard seasons is you do build resilience like, well, I got through that. So.

and probably get through just about anything. Bring on the next one, Gunn. Not yet. But bring it on someday. if you want. But if you're taking suggestions. I'm ready for the next one. Not yet. But I will be. I'll let you know when I am. That's it works, Well, that's Nicky's birth story. Our angel boy. ⁓

We love you Nicky if you're listening to this someday