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On Attachment
Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
On Attachment
#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a Relationship
In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning.
Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance.
We’ll cover:
- Why space needs to be respected, not punished
- The importance of having a partner who can self-regulate rather than emotionally offload
- How clear, direct, and honest communication builds safety
- The value of each partner having a full, meaningful life outside the relationship
- Why pacing matters — and how moving too fast can trigger shutdown
- Balancing lightness and heaviness
Whether you’re avoidant yourself or in a relationship with someone who is, this episode will help you better understand the conditions that allow these relationships to thrive.
Highlighted Links
- Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
- How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
Additional Resources
- Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
- Join my email list 💌
- Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
- Visit my website