From Siegfried to Jay and Back Again: The Peaceful Warrior's Journey

What happens when you reclaim the identity you've been running from your entire life? Siegfried Jay Tiegs aka "Sig" takes us on a raw, unfiltered journey from childhood trauma to profound self-discovery in this deeply personal conversation.

Born to a German father carrying the weight of post-WWII trauma and a Dutch mother struggling with mental illness, Siegfried's early years were marked by abuse, poverty, and relentless bullying. Hating his unusual name and battling a severe stutter, he rejected "Siegfried" for "JJ" – a small act of self-preservation that would take decades to understand and ultimately reverse.

Through intensive personal development work and deep shadow exploration, Siegfried made a stunning discovery – his birth name, which he had rejected in shame, means "peaceful warrior" in German. The very identity he had been running from was precisely what he had been seeking to become. This epiphany led to a powerful ceremony at Machu Picchu where he reclaimed not just his name, but his authentic self.

Siegfried “Sig” Jay Tiegs, founder of Do Hard Things Nation, Army veteran, endurance athlete, and certified running coach.

A retired Major with 27 years of service in the U.S. Army, a certified trauma coach, high-performance life coach, breathwork facilitator, speaker, and co-author of Life on Offense: A Tactical Guide to Dominate Life and End Mediocrity. His story is one of resilience, from a difficult childhood to combat deployments, from military injuries to ultramarathons and adventure races.

Today, he combines his experience as a soldier, athlete, and trauma-informed healer to help people push past limitations and create lasting transformation. Inside Do Hard Things Wellness Academy, he leads dynamic coaching sessions that focus on:

Big things are happening inside Do Hard Things Nation, and I want you with us.

The Do Hard Things Wellness Academy officially kicks off September 2nd, 2025. Four coaches. Weekly mindset training, movement, breathwork, meditation, book club, and challenges. Join as a founding member here:
👉 skool.com/dohardthings/about

Our book, Life on Offense

Welcome to the Do Hard Things Podcast with your host Jay Tiegs, Are you ready to amplify and improve your life? Then you are in the right place.  On this podcast we have unfiltered conversation with inspiring people who take on challenges and share with us, the wisdom from their journey. We talk about how doing hard things adequately enable all of us to deal with life's struggles and challenges and ultimately improve the quality of our lives. 

Big things are happening inside Do Hard Things Nation, and I want you with us.

Want more support? Join the Do Hard Things Wellness Academy. Four coaches. Weekly mindset training, movement, breathwork, meditation, book club, and challenges. Join as a member here:
👉 skool.com/dohardthings/about

Our book, Life on Offense, is now an Amazon Best Seller!  Grab a copy and leave a review. 
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And don’t forget—the Do Hard Things 5K, 9.11 Mile Run, and 9.11 Mile Ruck is happening in September. There’s even a virtual option—so no excuses. Sign up here:
👉 dohardthingsnation.com/events

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:42

All right, welcome back everybody to another episode of the do our things podcast. I am Siegfried J Teagues and I have with me my brother from another mother, brian Larson. How you doing, brother?

Speaker 2 0:52

Good man, how are?

Speaker 1 0:53

you Doing great man. It's Friday and life is good, can't complain. Great All right. What are we getting into today, man?

Speaker 2 1:02

We're getting into an interview of you. That's what we're getting into. We're going to go deep, man deep, All right.

Speaker 1 1:13

Well, I don't have. You sent me a copy of the questions in a full transparency. I browsed through them like a week or two ago and I completely forgot what's on there. So we're doing it live.

Speaker 2 1:19

Well, if you can't answer them, we might have some problems.

Speaker 1 1:22

We might have problems.

Speaker 2 1:23

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:24

All good man that problem. So, yeah, yeah, all good man, all right, hey, before we get started, though, I want to share some just awesome news, just just a couple things. First and foremost, the the life on offense book is has been released. It is an amazon bestseller, so we've got the cool. When you order it now, there's gonna be a cool little bestseller sticker. The uh, the hardback is out in the, the audio version, which I think is going to be even better. And the the bar is. Well, let's be frank, the bar is pretty low on audio, in my personal perspective.

Speaker 1 1:52

I download an audio book and most of them are so monotone. I don't know how many times I have like almost fallen asleep hitting a tree. Myself and my partner James, we both read it ourself. Our publisher even advised us to go like hey, why don't you? Everyone's doing AI. Now They'll take a voice clip of your voice and it'll sound just like you, and I'm like no, no man, this is like a. This is like a work of art. We put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this. We're going to read it, and so you guys did and it sounds good.

Speaker 2 2:21

You guys did a good job and the different sounds in it it's, it's good I got, I got the audio and the hard copy showed up yesterday yeah, cool thing is my buddy, james.

Speaker 1 2:30

He lives down in argentina and so when I went to machu picchu after that trip, that trek, I went down there to uh record. We recorded it in a boat in the harbor in buenos aires, which was super cool. So we'll uh, just a little back story about the audio book that's coming out, but just truly tremendously appreciative of those that have purchased it, I mean, it means so much that someone would take the time and it's very we think about this a lot. We were talking about fear recently, right, the different types of fear the fear of rejection and the fear of ridicule are really, really powerful for people, and I am feeling that, as I'm waiting for the reviews and ridicule are really really powerful for people, and I am feeling that, as I'm waiting for the reviews and what people are thinking about it.

Speaker 1 3:11

So I hope you enjoy it and that's all I can say about it. I just appreciate the support. If you want to, you want to go grab it. It's life on offense. The do hard things logo is on it, but there are already some of the books called do hard things, so if you search for it, look up Life on Offense a tactical guide to end mediocrity.

Speaker 2 3:29

That's it. That's all I got. Is there another update you want to give? You said a couple.

Speaker 1 3:33

Oh yeah, one more thing. Yeah, we're launching the Do Hard Things Wellness Academy and at the time of this speaking, we're going to be kicking off. We're going to do monthly challenges. So September 2nd, which is just after Labor Day, we're going to kick off the Fast and Focus 72-hour fast with the 28-day Do Hard Things Challenge five scalable things that you can do to boost your energy. And that's how we're going to kick off the Wellness Academy. The Wellness Academy itself weekly coaching calls with myself and you. Mindset movement. There's going to be breathwork sessions, meditation sessions, q a's experts I think we got another couple coaches, uh, pending that might be lining up to join forces with that bring a lot of expertise. So I'm super excited about that. And it's just going to be an online platform to connect with like-minded people. So that's uh, that's announcement number two. So go to do our things. Nationcom if you want to learn more about that, you can try it free for seven days. And, yeah, we're excited to see you on there. Cool, that's it. That's all I got.

Speaker 2 4:31

All right, we ready to go then.

Speaker 1 4:33

Let's do this, man.

Speaker 2 4:34

Okay, all right. So on that last episode, you introduced yourself as SIGFREED.

Speaker 1 4:51

And you're like, oh, there's a whole story behind that of the listeners. Know you, as jay, talk to us about sigfried? Yeah, so I was born sigfried teagues. No, no, middle name. I was born in southern california, orange county, california, 1978, 1960. You know that when you, when you sign up for things online now, like apps and stuff like that, you gotta put your date of birth in there. I feel like I gotta scroll not to get back to you. It's like it's like it was bob barker with the big wheels, yeah, so anyway, 1978, april 6, sigfried teagues was born, and immediately after my birth my parents moved back to Germany.

Speaker 1 5:28

Now, so just a quick backstory. My father's full-blooded German, my mother full-blood Dutch. My father grew up during the reconstruction of Berlin, tail end of World War II, and just to give some background on him, I don't know a lot, but I do know dude had a lot of trauma. If you could just imagine all the men in the family, uncles, cousins. There was one, well, there was one that I the only one surviving male I had met in new york city. The rest of them had had perished in the war in some way, shape or form. They just never returned. All the women had perished in the war in some way, shape or form. They just never returned.

Speaker 1 6:11

All the women were gathered in the village. It was his sisters. I don't know how many sisters there were, but there were quite a few, and I don't think there were any other brothers. If there were, they were older and went off. I just don't know. But it was basically him and the women cousins, aunts, grandmother.

Speaker 1 6:32

And when the when, from my understanding, when the berlin was liberated from the soviet army, they were all placed on a truck to evacuate the city. They were in and something happened. Either the truck hit a landmine or it came under attack. My grandmother was at the very end of the truck holding my father and they fell out and the rest of the family had perished. So I don't know if you can imagine as a young child all the men, all the women, everyone that you know just perish and then you're surviving. Your childhood is the reconstruction of berlin post-world war ii. Dude had some demons, had some trauma. He in when he turned 19,. He came to the United States, joined the army. This is a cool fact that there was no connection. I didn't know what he did in the army until later he joined as a combat engineer. Well, I joined as a combat engineer and I didn't know that was there. I had no idea that was not in my ear.

Speaker 1 7:23

Yeah. So anyway, he only served for three years, did not in my yeah. So anyway, he only served for three years, did a lot of. He was mainly he always said he was a truck driver, so that's probably what he did as a driver most of that time found his pathway to citizenship to become a us citizen, but he had a lot of, like I said, a lot of trauma, a lot of demons. My mother was his fourth marriage.

Speaker 1 7:43

I have, from my understanding, nine siblings, all half. I share one sibling with my mother. The rest of them were from my father. I'm assuming there's more. I need to do that, 23 and me. But I'm almost scared to do it because who knows how many other people. And I've never. I've only met three of the nine siblings. The other, the five boys, I've never met. The other the five boys I've never met man. Long story short, he had some demons. He met my mother.

Speaker 1 8:11

My mother immigrated over here with her family after World War II. My grandparents had survived and then they came here to make a better life. They were entrepreneurs. They came to, they moved to Southern California. My grandfather was a butcher, my grandmother was like a house cleaner and that's just kind of what they did. They just did their best to make a better life. They had five children. My mother was the oldest. She was kind of responsible for taking care of the others, from my understanding, while they worked. But my mother had some mental health issues herself. She was diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia. Beautiful young woman oh my gosh pictures of her like she could have been a model. I don't know I I didn't get any of those looks but, but.

Speaker 1 8:56

But it was exasperated by my father's abuse physical and emotional, and so my childhood. I remember just a lot of physical, emotional abuse. I was born in the us. We immediately moved to Germany and then when we they my father was a mechanic they were trying to make ends meet and they were just struggling and so they moved back. When I was five Now I was dealing with my father physically and emotionally abusing my mother and myself, and I had a really bad stutter. That could have been from who knows what the trauma my father was putting us through, I don't know Stuttered really bad. My name was Siegfried really unusual name and my parents dressed me in lederhosen and sent me off to elementary school and so my home life was hell. I would go to school and was like teased relentlessly for my name, stuttering all these silly names that they had sigfried and roy, or do you want a cigarette? Or ziggy zaggy, you know just all this silly shit. And I just hated my name. I hated my life like I was just I, just I. I was just tormented as a kid like I. That was it so bottom line. I was just tormented as a kid Like I. That was it so bottom line.

Speaker 1 10:11

After living in Southern California, I think, until second grade or so, pattern repeated itself. My father finds another woman, runs off with her and my mother wasn't able to care for me and he took me with him to run off with this woman. We moved to South Dakota, of all places. I remember living in this little trailer at the end of Rapid City I think it's Ellsworth Air Force Base, if I'm not mistaken. Being in this little trailer in the first night. I remember being in this thing sleeping on the couch in the living room. The trailer was just shaking from this loud noise of these jets flying. We're like at the end of the runway. It's crazy. And so I just remember. And I would go to school. It was like freezing cold. I remember my, my, my father was really into plants and he had a big plant collection. He had a room full of plants. I slept on the couch in the living room. Come to find out later he, he sold marijuana. So he, I didn't have a bedroom because my father was selling marijuana.

Speaker 1 11:17

Long story short, he left that. That like all his other relationships. Guess what happened? He, that one didn't work out either. He didn't have you have to go, is it me? Is it me? I'm the common denominator? Everything's falling apart? It's always me. He did have two children with her and they were my younger sister and my brother half-brother. But like all the other relationships, it didn't go well and he left her.

Speaker 1 11:42

She was originally from Missouri, so that's how I ultimately ended up in Missouri. I moved to Clarksville, missouri. So that's how I ultimately ended up in Missouri. I moved back to. I moved to Clarksville, missouri. She remarried one of her previous husbands who was in the Navy, and so I had a tremendous influence of of the Navy, just the military from him and then just fascination with, with my family history, you know, being World War II. Long story short, I guess.

Speaker 1 12:06

There I grew up in Missouri, bouncing around from town to town. If you're familiar with Northern St Louis, there's a bunch of little towns. I graduated high school from Ellsbury. It's one of those like one stoplight towns. I lived in Clarksville, which was like the next town up above it.

Speaker 1 12:22

I lived in Silex, I lived in Troy, all those little towns, and my upbringing was just we were. We were dirt poor, like just absolutely poor, and I allude to that in the book like how poor we were, like literally living in a single wide trailer. We made it a double wide by getting another single wide trailer and cutting a hole in the side of it and relying on, like wood cut heat and it was just scarcity. We're talking about scarcity like we were impoverished, like we didn't had nothing. I remember like we would. We would deer hunt and fish because we needed the food. Not not it would offset the, so scarcity, just just rough childhood. I'm like I knew this wasn't normal. I had to get out of here and I you asked me where sigfried came from. I'm giving you like the whole light, like it's good man, people will know you I, I had run a paper.

Finding Identity Through Cross Country

Speaker 1 13:20

So clarksville. Clarksville is the tallest point on the mississippi river. It's a really cool town. They used to have like a sky lift there that you could like tourists could go and take you all the way to the top. There's a lock and dam there. It's a cute little town and I was looking for a way to make money. It got me out of the house and I was able to buy Nintendo games, bought some of my school clothes, so I'd mow yards, I'd shovel snow, kids to actually run a paper route before they were taken taken over by by cars and however, they deliver papers, the mail, but I would literally ride my bicycle six days a week, all year round. You know Missouri, the uh, the weather can be pretty brutal in the wintertime and the summertime summer too.

Speaker 1 14:06

I developed a really good work ethic because I would do that after school every day and then Saturday mornings, and I also developed a really good cardio base, which is going to be important here in a moment, cause I would ride my bike up this big ass Hill in Clarksville like six days a week and the paper route was like it just took me over an hour. So, and then when I wasn't doing the paper route, I was riding my bike running around. You know, we didn't.

Speaker 2 14:35

Nintendo started to come around later, but it was like before nintendo and we still went outside at our ages.

Speaker 1 14:38

Yeah, we knew what outside was. Yeah, we go outside and then you come home when the lights came on, you know and come home to eat. Then we'll go back right back out again. It was awesome. I wish, I wish my kids could experience that.

Speaker 2 14:49

But kids these days it's a joke of it's 1030 and the news comes on it's 1030. Do you know where your kids are? That was a reminder to our parents that they had kids.

Speaker 1 14:59

Yeah, where are your kids at? Oh my gosh. Now it's like well, anyway, that's a whole other topic for the day. So, yeah, that was kind of like my childhood.

Speaker 1 15:10

Now I had a cross country coach he was. His name is Mr Danner. I need to connect with that dude. I have so much appreciation for him. Stephen Danner was his name. He was just graduated college to become a teacher, so this was his first high school gig and he was my social studies teacher and history teacher and I was on his paper route and so I kind of like developed a little relationship with him because I, you know, I talked to him and he invited me to run cross country. He was putting a cross country team together.

Speaker 1 15:40

I'm like I don't, I don't even know what cross country is and he said something to the effect of like, well, we run races out in these fields. I'm like it sounds crazy, but my mom and dad, like our, the way our school was set up is like we were in the middle of these. I was in a small town and there was a collection of towns in this area and the school was in the middle of this cornfield, in the middle of all these, so like a 20 minute drive to get to school. Like my parents aren't going to bring me to and from practice. Like, if you can get me to practice I'll go. He's like I got you covered so I went. I tried out. I I think my first couple of runs I had my big Reebok pumps that I worked so hard for.

Speaker 1 16:18

I remember the pump it up big heavy shoes, basketball shorts, but I was a really good runner. Because of that, the bike route every day, like riding my bike every day. For the first time in my life I felt a sense of someone cared for me. I was a part of a team and there's some of the cooler kids that I didn't. I was a dork Like. I was just just just not cool at all. But some of the cooler kids were on the team and I was like for the first time in my life I feel like I'm part of something. And this was hard, like running was hard. We actually had a pretty good team and so I just got into running cross country and it was just great and I loved it and it was hard and it motivated me to keep my grades up and stay out of trouble. And so I ran for uh Clarksville, which was a Clopton school in 1993, we got flooded, lost everything and I moved back to Ellsbury and I finished up my uh. I joined the team there and they actually had a good team too. So I ran track and cross country and that motivated me to to keep my grades up. And then I saw an opportunity when I turned 17 to join the Missouri army national guard. I needed, I need to join the military and so I joined the military. Back to my name, siegfried. I need to back up just a little bit.

Speaker 1 17:32

I hated my name growing up so much that I needed to change it, but I didn't know how. There on on my dutch side of the family almost all of the men were named yawn, like j-o-n, but they still yawn. And I'm like I don't want to be another yawn, but I like jay. And so I came up with a JJ. So, just, just, I just told people to start calling me JJ. Just, I liked it. I think I don't know where I heard JJ from, but I just liked that. So people that know me from a long time ago like they'll call me JJ. And it's man, it's so cool.

Speaker 1 18:07

And then ultimately I was adopted. My last name changed because of my my I don't know my step family had adopted me. My mother couldn't take care of me, so they decided to adopt me and my stepfather's last name was Emmert. So I became I was Siegfried Teagues at birth. I became Siegfried J Emmert and I joined the military as Emmert, which is interesting. You see, like in my I've got some stuff here that says Emmert from a long time ago. Then the newer stuff says Teagues, because I reclaimed my name Teagues later in life. I'm trying to think of how to describe because there's so many things that happened.

Military Career and Dark Periods

Speaker 1 18:46

Bottom line is I joined the military, I started the National Guard. I was working in a factory, decided to go active duty and then just kind of leave my childhood behind, because even the family that adopted me I have tremendous love for them. They did what they could, but it just wasn't me and there were some additional abuse and challenges and things that I just couldn't. I just needed to wipe the slate clean and the military allowed me to do that. I ultimately wanted to become a state trooper, but I couldn't go to the academy until I was 21. So I just I joined the Missouri Army National Guard. I liked that. I went on active duty and I just kind of never looked back. I just I just stayed, just stayed on active duty, I just stayed. I just stayed on active duty. I was a combat engineer and then fast forward. Well, I did 27,. I guess we'll fast forward 27 years active duty. I retire a year and a half ago and I guess I'll share this part of my story In 2015, having recently commissioned, I was a young officer, but I'd been long in the tooth as an NCO.

Speaker 1 19:57

At that time. It was over like 22 years of service. I was just burnt out. I had a lot of tough jobs, but I just didn't deal with life well. I was a really good soldier, but I didn't deal with life well. It was childhood trauma, military-issued trauma, and I just was not pinging on all cylinders.

Speaker 1 20:20

It ultimately led to a divorce and it led to just some other behaviors that just were not congruent or healthy, behaviors that just were not congruent or healthy alcohol, video games, just just a bunch of stuff that just were, you know, just just not good. And when you've been around suicide like the, the, your, your the propensity for you to commit suicide is much greater. And I've had a lot of fellow soldiers take their life, and so that thought was there, like I was just, I was in so much pain and I, when my, I just didn't handle it. Well, I just I had that, that path, I was just the suicide ideation was pretty powerful. And I'm like I got to rewire my brain because I got triplet daughters. I can't leave them without a father.

Speaker 1 21:11

So I began this relentless pursuit of just self mastery and that led me to joining, you know, mastermind groups. I inventoried all the people in life that were just crushing it. I felt crushing it in their life and and I started reading books, I started changing some of those bad behaviors for pop more positive behaviors. And it was, it was messy, it wasn't, it wasn't like it wasn't like an overnight thing. It took years, but I just started to feel better. I would escape, with, you know, these endurance events, which was better than, you know, drinking and doing other poor behavior and I don't know. I just had a passion for, for personal growth and development.

Speaker 1 21:53

My marriage ended and I I had this other like dark night of the soul experience where, you know, trying to find myself after being divorced, and then had another dark period when I left the military. This is when I I learned a lot of tools but I lost my identity. I I had escaped my dark childhood to join the military and overall I thrived career wise, not so much my personal life always, but my career was pretty good. But then it was like I had so much of my identity wrapped up in my uniform and my name, like you know, retired as a major, as major Teagues, and had all this responsibility, and at that time I was already performance coaching. But I'm like I feel like a charlatan, like I'm preaching a lot but I'm not doing everything that I teach and I'm like I can't. I teach and I'm like I can't continue to do this. Something doesn't feel right in my values and so that's when I paused the podcast, I kind of I really scaled back my coaching.

Speaker 1 23:04

I had some clients but I was like I gotta, I gotta do some deep work on myself. Like who, who am I at my core? Like what, what, what am I here to do in life beyond all of this? Because and I think this is where a lot, of, a lot of people go, go sideways they have these big life transitions, right, the divorce, relationship ends or career ends, and the military was a much bigger part of my identity than I realized, and so I got involved in some other coaching programs, start doing some deep shadow work, like really deep work, really digging in to figure out you know what, what are my traumas, what are my? You know, the shadows are the things like in your in, in, in your background that you don't really want other people to see right and then guilt and shame and all these other things and being able to like, be okay with that and share that story.

Speaker 1 23:59

And in my journey of self-discovery, I discovered that I am a peaceful warrior Like I want to be. I want to live in peace. I'm a warrior at heart. I always will be, even though that's I'm not in the U S army anymore, I still consider myself like a warrior Like I like that disciplined mindset. I want to be a protector of other people, especially those I can't stand up for themselves.

Speaker 1 24:29

And when I look back at my name, my name was given to me, but my parents it was a mixed. They were deciding between Siegfried or Eric and they chose Siegfried of all things. I'm like why did you choose that stupid name? I hated that name. Well, one of my coaches that I was on this coaching journey with is German and this is part of that Machu Picchu trek. She's like do you know the epidemiology of your name? And I'm like I don't really. And bottom line is it means victory and peace and it's ultimately the peaceful warrior.

Speaker 1 25:02

And if you look back at the story of like in German lore Siegfried, was this great warrior Like in our American lore like Superman, right, he's like the ultimate. Well, in German lore, siegfried the Dragon Slayer, who saved Brunhilde from the dragon that's in old folklore. He was like the Superman of that realm and that's what Siegfried was. So people that are German know the name Siegfried. They respect it there. It's an old name but it's still respected here. It's just ridiculous, right, they respect it there. So it's an old name, but it's still respected here. It's just ridiculous. It's Las Vegas. You know tigers and magicians. It's the only secret people know.

Reclaiming the Name Siegfried

Speaker 1 25:42

But but I'm like, oh my gosh, I look back. I'm like I've been striving all my life to find peace. I'm a warrior. The name means peaceful warrior. I had so much shame around it, so, doing that shadow work of shame and guilt, I'm like I need to embrace that. My, my parents named me that and looking back, it was like one of the.

Speaker 1 26:00

I just reclaimed the name that I rejected for so long and it just signified like this new chapter of my life, like who am I? Like I am not major Teagues, I Jay and JJ was a broken little kid that ran and hid and didn't handle things Well, didn't live up honors, word, hurt people because he didn't have the tools or the knowledge or know how. He did the best that he could with what he had. But he was a scared little boy. And reclaiming sigfried, oh, I'm gonna get emotional.

Speaker 1 26:45

Reclaiming that name was this very powerful chapter of my life because it's it's signified I no longer want to be that person Like I. I I'm, I'm stepping into the next chapter of of life. I want to be I. It's signified like getting reconnected with God, reconnecting with my purpose and my mission, which is to help and serve people and and help them get out of their pain, frequency and help them find clarity. And embracing this, this notion of being a peaceful warrior and part of my coaching journey. I got to give it.

Speaker 1 27:23

I went to this program called mountains and marathons and my coaches, jamin and Jen and Jordan. They helped me navigate reclaiming the name and when we started the trek, I claimed it to my there's a team of us that that climbed Machu Picchu for six days together. I claimed that I was going to reclaim the name Siegfried and then we had to create, create, write this powerful like manifesto of like who I am, like. I did a lot of deep work on and when I got to Machu Picchu, like I found a sacred place, deep work on, and when I got to machu picchu, like I found a sacred place, and I and I read it to god and I like just embraced, I fully embraced the name. It was like it was a ritual ceremony I find it so interesting.

Speaker 2 28:04

You were on this journey to find yourself and you define yourself as peaceful warrior, and it turns out that's who you were all along by name warrior, and it turns out that's who you were all along by name, so I was all along by name.

Speaker 2 28:18

I was searching.

Speaker 2 28:18

I was searching.

Speaker 2 28:19

Okay, there's several things we'll come back to at some point but it made me think, like, as you're telling your story, like that family trauma, the concept of like collective conscious and trauma and you feeling the pain of the entire world, and then family morphic fields, like these morphic fields of belief.

Speaker 2 28:39

I know we'll cover that at some point, but I just find it interesting. It's a topic we'll cover at some point. And then I want to make this statement, because you said you know that personal development journey and it took years and it does take years, but I feel like part of our mission is to take what took us years and help people not take so long to do it, put 100%, to take those learnings that we've had from our difficulty and all of the knowledge we've accumulated through. I mean, I was like you I read and read, and read and read, and just so much stuff that I can give back to people, that you I read and read and read and read, and just so much stuff that I can give back to people, that you can give back to people and we can condense that time. And so I love that. That the journey will help us help other people do it faster.

Speaker 1 29:27

Yes, In this journey and finding my purpose and my reconnection spiritually like that was one of my major downloads is like I need. This is the necessary path I needed to walk so I can help other people and what I've learned is you can read, you can listen to podcasts. That is good, but if you want to accelerate the process, you need to be in containers with other coaches that we have blind spots we can't see, and just like that coach that invited me to cross country. Why does the team have a coach? Because the coach can see the strengths and weaknesses of all the runners and he orchestrates and gives guidance and puts people in the right position.

Speaker 1 30:12

Why do major league baseball teams have a coach? These are the best players in the world. Why do they need a coach? Cause we all have blind spots and when you, someone knows the way and they can put you. They know your strengths and weaknesses and they call you out when you're not performing well and and and help elevate you and they they, when you're not on your a game. They kind of you that will accelerate your learning and your healing and your clarity work and that's why I'm so passionate about it, because it's just not common knowledge, the things that we have learned, that that should be common knowledge, aren't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, agreed. And this goes back to my theory of the matrix being a documentary Like why isn't it? Well, cause you can't be controlled, right, right.

Speaker 2 30:59

Yeah, okay, let's get back to some questions. So Sure, take us back to the beginning. So Do Hard Things has been a brand that you've had active for I don't know five years. Oh, and I remember how we met. Did we meet on the float trip when I tore my meniscus? Was that the first time we?

Speaker 1 31:21

met. That was one of the very first meetings I think we met. But yeah, I was like man, who's this guy? Brian's like ripped. He looks like a Spartan Dude's ripped but he injures himself getting in and out of a canoe. I'm like I was like telling my wife like who, what? Who is this guy like? What is he?

Speaker 2 31:37

well, I injured myself, I finished it off and I pulled the cooler out of the canoe, but anyway, okay you need a much better story for that. I know, you know, I was chasing somebody who stole I was in the oarks I heard banjos tonight. So, okay, back to back to the brand. So you've been working on this for a while. What? What inspired you to start it?

Speaker 1 32:02

Yeah, so the mantra has been there for a long time. I got into performance coaching. I just had this. I mean, I look back at my social media, I would just post, hashtag, do hard things and just kind of share my story. I, back in 2015, when I hit rock bottom, one of my mentors had had invited us to share our story online like do, like a daily post, and I would start to do that and it was very cathartic for me to just share a nugget, share wisdom. It wasn't to be pretentious, it was basically like a note to self, like I would write these posts that were inspirational. But it was like it was like using my.

Speaker 1 32:45

I didn't like to journal and write, so I would just use my Facebook page. If I look back at my Facebook, like 15 years ago, I'm embarrassed. What I used to post? Very political stuff, you know, dick and fart jokes, like just well, I still share memes, I love that, but it was predominantly like garbage. But then I would start like I want to make, I want to use this to be more useful, and it was just a way for me to journal and I would just use the the hashtag do hard things. And so years and years went by of doing that and then, as I became a coach and I started to like, you know what I can? I can help others.

Speaker 1 33:17

I you know, let's create a brand around this. Then my you know Lacey being a graphic designer, you know she created this really cool logo that we trademarked. I'm like man, this is really powerful. I'm like man, this is really powerful. And so we created some merch. We've got the event. You know, I started hosting some online stuff, but it was just always it was always like a like a hobby basement thing. It wasn't like, it was just more like a just a small movement. We never we never really expanded or put a lot of energy into it, but it was always a brand Like we've been able to help some people, people gravitate toward it. We ultimately trademarked the branding.

Speaker 1 33:54

I had the idea for a book but I had to go through. It's taken a while to kind of come together. And the hard framework, the H-A-R-D. It stands for something I try to make meaning from it, like it's your, it's the four walls of your life, it's your health, it's your affluence, it's your relationships, your development, and there there's a variety of that and other. You know coaching groups and things like that. You know they have their different acronyms, but that's.

Speaker 1 34:24

We developed the hard framework based off learnings and trial and error, and and my life has improved from focusing on those four walls every day, like doing something to invest time or energy in that, and so I think we're at a point now where we've talked about this like I, we're going to, I want to, I want, want to make a community, a grander community, around this and help other people live their best life, to find clarity, to heal, to have a space for personal growth and development, a space where you can focus on mindset and moving the body, activating the nervous system, deactivating the nervous system. So does that answer your question?

Speaker 2 35:12

yeah, yeah, yeah but it leads to another one. So that concept of hard things right, it has a, it has a meaning, but it's also doing legit hard things. But people avoid discomfort. Why is that so? Why is that dangerous to avoid discomfort?

Speaker 1 35:31

well, there's a great, there's a great book called the comfort crisis and I think that our natural, our brains are wired. You know we, we're. We have this hard wiring from our caveman days. We and we still. That's probably our big one of our biggest blessings and challenges that we face the we're designed to do hard things, like we're the ultimate endurance animal, like we are capable of so much hunting and gathering and building, and you know we're warriors. We just have such great capacity. But then we also have this mode in our brain that is wiring us to make best use of those resources. So we battle comfort because that's the part of your brain that's saying okay, now that you've gathered all this food, now it's time to just preserve your energy and not doing hard things.

Speaker 1 36:27

In our society in this day and age, we have become so incredibly comfortable with air conditioning, opulence. You can use your cell phone right now, before we're into this podcast, you can have a meal delivered to you at your door, whatever you wanted to. We have Amazon that delivers to you. We've just really embraced that part of our brain that naturally gravitates toward comfort and we're missing out on the opportunity. I think when you grow, you got to be challenged and there's a variety of ways in which to challenge the body and the mind. And we are. What's that movie? Idiocracy? Maybe that's another documentary. It's where everyone's so comfortable like that no one does anything. I, I just think that we were designed to be challenged. Yeah, and yeah, I I just think that there's a.

Speaker 1 37:24

The comfort crisis is real, and I'm not saying that we should just live in pain all the time, like I'm not. I'm not. I love David Goggins very motivational dude but I don't think that we need to live like that all the time. But we do need to challenge ourself and it's not just going out and doing physical things, it's having tough conversations with people. Cause, I will tell you, I I've learned things in my life because of my inability to have the tough conversation, to avoid the pain of that. That led to me hurting people and relationships, ending friendships, intimate relationships, avoiding discomfort, you know, hurt me in my career because I didn't pursue college sooner, because I didn't think I could do it right. I just it's just too hard to go to school and learn that thing. It just yeah. Just avoiding, avoiding the pain of things has not served me well. So by being comfortable with the uncomfortable in my new chapter of life. It's like sitting in silence. That is an uncomfortable thing for me there's so many great benefits Like doing nothing.

Speaker 1 38:33

You don't even have to do anything physical. You get great benefits yeah.

Speaker 2 38:36

Well, okay. So then, if it's about doing the balance of hard things and resting and recovering, how do you recommend people start building resilience if they've lived in comfort too long?

Speaker 1 38:53

I think that the gym is a great training ground. What did you say? You said something recently that I really appreciated.

Speaker 2 38:59

I believe the gym is a training ground where it teaches you how to do hard things physically within those walls so that you can do them outside of those walls.

Speaker 1 39:11

Yes, yes, having a training ground in a controlled environment. That's why I like races and and and, just you know, getting together with the run group or being in a gym. It's a training ground to do something uncomfortable, because that that carries over in every other aspect of of your life and I just recommend, first and foremost, moving the body, like like dominating, dominating the basics. I had a commander that would say dominate the basics, and one of the basics is just basic movement, like you don't have to be a crossfitter, but but do something that moves the body and eat something nutritious, nutritious every day, and I, you're just gonna live a better life, you're going to have more energy to and you're going to be less stressed, and you know you can. What is that that quote? They say you can make make hard choices now, or I'm going to it was.

Speaker 2 40:06

It's the. It's the pain, the pain of something today or the pain of regret later. I mean it's the pain of something today or the pain of regret later. I mean it's kind of that concept Hard life now or hard life later.

Speaker 1 40:14

Right, so hard life now, but you getting to choose your own adventure. Or you can live with disease and you can live in financial ruin. You can live with divorce and broken relationships later because you didn't do the basics now. That's the crux of it, right?

Speaker 2 40:28

It's like being overweight is hard, being lean and muscular is hard. Yeah, pick one.

Speaker 2 40:34

You're gonna have one or the other okay, so that the what for you on a daily basis. So okay, the hard things. Do you have a daily practice that you personally use to keep your edge? Like, are there a group of things I know I have and everybody has theirs, and I try to stick to mine as closely as I can, but not so rigid that if I can't do it it's not the end of the world. But what are your daily practices for doing hard things?

Building Community and Future Vision

Speaker 1 41:04

Yeah, I think, first and foremost, the morning routine like having a solid foundation to step off from like fighter stance, you know, like having a morning routine is the most powerful thing that you can do to really set the day off Right. And for me personally, what it's been as of late has been movement of some form. So I'll go run rock, I'll lift weights, maybe some yoga, but some type of like physical movements. I've been doing breath work, which has been fascinating. That's a very recent thing but there's so many great benefits to breath work. I've been doing a daily cold plunge and then gratitude journal and prayer, and that's been pretty much my morning routine.

Speaker 1 41:49

I'll drink some water. I'll get up and drink 32 ounces of water, I'll put some salt in a little bit of lemon, just to kind of you know, because you've been dehydrated from sleeping all night and then bulletproof coffee and that's, and then I in. I don't do that, I don't do that. It's kind of whatever order that I would like to do them in. So there's no regimen, but I just wake up and I'll kind of cycle through those tasks and that's my morning routine cold plunge, breath movement, gratitude. That's been recently. It's been working really, really well.

Speaker 2 42:19

I've incorporated a similar one really the same for my movement tends to be in the gym doing something, but one that again and we've talked about earlier how, how breathwork was not on the bingo card but it is and I had a couple of days this week where I was just I've slept really horrible and I was so like moving slow in the morning and I just didn't even feel like I had the lungs for breathwork and I didn't do it. And then I picked it back up and I was like, oh, I didn't do it. And then I picked it back up and I was like, oh, that's why I do it. I mean, I noticed a significant difference with the breath work in my routine. I told you earlier today, man, my, my nervous system was dysregulated. I sat down, did 15 minutes of breath work. I'm like, oh, there it is, I found ground again. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 43:08

I used to think it was like some hippie dippy shit and I still do, but I love it. Yeah, I mean, but it's been so like doing it repetitively for activation, deactivation and the sonic neural, like it's been an absolute game changer and it's just amazing that you can do that. You can get high off your own supply.

Speaker 2 43:30

I love like the, our coach, our breathwork coach, that's teaching us some of this. Ben ben says at some point you find out the woo-woo, is true, true I hadn't heard that one, but I like that.

Speaker 1 43:42

It's absolutely. It's absolutely true, and what I've been telling people is like, especially my military service, like the movie oh avatar, like I'm becoming one of the blue people, yeah and they're like peaceful warriors, right, they were like incredible warriors, people, yeah, that's funny man so powerful, yeah that so the topic of like morning routines I know some people swear by them.

Speaker 2 44:05

I know there's other people who they will tell you, oh, don't like, you can do it, but don't get too regimented. I would agree with that. I think it's good to have the intention of doing those things but, like I said a couple of days this week, I just didn't have it within me. It didn't, it didn't, I didn't have any. I think it's important not to hold to it so tightly that you can't shift it and change it and still be okay. There's those people they work out. If they miss a workout man, they can't think about anything else that day until they at some point come back around to getting their workout in. They hold it so tightly. I think it's just important to go. It's really a great thing, but anything in excess can become too much if you hold to it rigidly.

Speaker 1 44:50

Yeah, you need to have some level of flexibility and adaptability, some margin. You know, like I had a morning I have an insomnia night every now and then and it was like Thursday morning like it was our track workout morning. So we get up at 445 and I didn't go to bed till like one o'clock. I was just I just laid there. I just couldn't go to sleep but I made like it was very difficult. But Lacey got up and she's like we're going. I'm like, okay, I'm going to roll over and put my shoes on.

Speaker 1 45:16

I was the last one. I walked a little bit, but I'm like you know what, even though I wasn't on my a game and I was so exhausted, I kept the habit by showing up. I went through the rest of my. No, actually, I came back. I actually had to do a little bit of work. I went to sleep and took a nap because I had a block of time. I got up around 11. I finished my morning routine, so I went through everything else and then I finished out the rest of the day and had work up until the evening. So it was kind of messy, but it was really important to stick to the routine and I think that's. I love the book atomic habits because it talks about that. Even I mean, even like on my busiest days, what I've learned is like so I can do like a five minute breath work, like breath of fire, you know, with some inhale, exhale holds, and that's good enough. The movement might be just, you know, 15 minutes around the block, you know, but just keeping the foundation of that routine.

Speaker 2 46:10

Yes, it's the discipline. I call a day, like you had, a discipline day. There are days I actually had one this morning. It's been two nights in a row of not great sleep, but I it's very important for me to move almost every day, and so I knew I would not be at my best at the gym, but I also knew I needed to be there for and I call them discipline days I just show up and do the best I can do that day and that's good enough for today, and once I get rested and recovered, better it'll be better. It's not about performing at my absolute best every day, it's performing at the best I can that day.

Speaker 1 46:44

Yeah, and that's I think you bring a great point and that's been the evolution of my own like training and is that rest and recovery is just as important as the training itself. But people feel guilty about taking the rest day. But that is where you rebuild. Your body rebuilds itself stronger in the rest days. So if you're always breaking yourself down, always pushing the limits, one, you're burning yourself out, you can't sustain it. And two, you're, you're, you're not, you're not, you're, you're not building your body, but you're constantly breaking it down, so you're not allowing, you're not getting the max benefit.

Speaker 2 47:20

Yeah.

Speaker 1 47:21

And you're activating more cortisol and stressing your act that that nervous system.

Speaker 2 47:25

Now you get into neurologic load because you stress your body and now your mind, and it perceives it all as neurologic signals, and now you're way over-trained and it brings your emotions down. It's all kinds of things that go on in there. Yeah, Okay. So what role then? So you know we're talking about building community. You mentioned it earlier. What role does community play in helping people succeed in their hard things?

Speaker 1 47:58

Well, humans are tribal and we need to be connected with like-minded people. And you're the average of the people you spend the most time with, and I know this personal growth and development can feel very, very lonely. And having a community of like-minded people that you can do life with, that you can talk about books, you can talk about these hard topics I got friends I can go drink with. We have great time, you know, sharing memes and telling fart jokes and talking about sports or whatever. But I can't, I can't ask them for advice on on challenging topics Like how do I, you know, how do I communicate with my teenage daughter and some of the nuances of life? You know, but I love them to death, right, yeah. And so you need a space where you can like if that, if that's part of your wiring, which only, like I think, only one in 10 people do personal growth and development we're kind of few and far between.

Speaker 1 48:49

You just need that community of like-minded people that you can lean in on that. I mean, I, you know where my cycling stuff and people like laugh because I, you know you look like Lance. Aren't we trying to be Lance? Like they just make their stupid jokes, you know. So you just need, you need to be around like-minded people so you realize you're not crazy. Yeah, go ahead and to your point, like we mentioned earlier, like you can read and listen to podcasts on your own, but there's accelerated learning when you can have a conversation with other like-minded people. And I think in this day and age, especially with AI and just all of the negative drumbeat of the world, like being around other positive, like-minded people is necessary for your own sanity. It is for me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 49:38

I agree. Okay, what's what's one hard thing anyone listening could commit to that could make a real difference in their life.

Speaker 1 49:48

Well, I think you mentioned this earlier. I think you know moving the body. Number one, I think learning something like like reading and applying things. That may not be like a tremendously difficult, but I looked at reading for the longest time Like I just just bored with it. I don't like doing it, but when I started to do that consistently it really started to open up my mind. So moving the mind, moving, moving the body and then doing something where you're downloading something positive into your mind would be the two very basic things, and doing that consistently.

Speaker 2 50:28

Yeah, okay, I got one final question. Yeah, so you and I have talked about this, but I'd like the audience to hear what's the long-term vision for Do Hard Things.

Speaker 1 50:40

Oh yeah, this is so good, man. The long-term vision is what we're building, first and foremost, is an online community. So we're starting that with the Do Hard Things Wellness. Do hard things wellness Academy. The wellness Academy is going to include something like an online dojo breath work, my high performance mindset training. You're going to be doing movement training and a variety of different like Q and A's. We've got a couple of other coaches that are that are going to be coming on, so I'm thinking like a bench of coaches with, like a schedule of events. You pay a subscription and you're a part of this community. There'll be, like you know, monthly challenges.

Speaker 1 51:17

So I want to scale this online community and then, once we get to a certain point and we get that up and going, then I envision a facility I want a world-class facility where we can incorporate these events and trainings live, maybe like a gym, you know, activate the nervous system with a gym and training and events, you know, rucking and running from this like location, and then, part of this facility, you know, deregulating the nervous system with hot, cold, plunge, performance coaching, breath work. The nervous system with hot, cold, plunge, performance coaching, breath work. And then, once we get that up and going. Then these facilities pop up around the country in different locations. There'll be an apparel brand because we want to spread the word of what we're doing, about doing hard things.

Speaker 1 52:03

Probably some more books. There's going to be retreats. We're planning one for november and february already and then bringing in other facilitators that want to do the mission and and just kind of it's not, it's not. You know, it's not my show, it's not. It's, it's just its own entity where we're just helping people live a better life. That's that's it. That's, that's the. Uh, yeah, it's good, okay.

Speaker 2 52:26

Well, yeah, it's good, okay. Well, what's one final thought that you can leave people with as we close out this one Final thought, final thought what am I?

Speaker 1 52:43

what am I thinking about today? I think here's one Life can. Life can feel incredibly hard, and it is, but you can choose to react to it or respond to it, and that's where the book comes in, like it's living life on offense versus life on defense, and showing up and doing the work, getting up early, the personal growth and development, your morning routine being that that lighthouse for other people by by leading by example, is. I just think it's so incredibly important for us to do that, especially in this day and age when there's just so much comfort, there's so much just negativity. We just we just need to.

Speaker 1 53:38

If you're listening to this podcast, you're obviously someone that cares about those things, so I just encourage you to get plugged in with like-minded people, continue to do the hard thing to be that lighthouse for other people, because it is needed. You have a purpose in life and if you feel that you're disconnected from your purpose in life, you just you just need to get reconnected with that, with the tribe of like-minded people that are going to support you. Clap when you win. I feel that god has a purpose for every single one of us and we need to get in alignment with that purpose, and we need to generate the energy to commit to that purpose, and that requires doing hard things like taking care of yourself in those four walls of your life, and so good, yeah, oh, all right.

Speaker 2 54:26

So I guess next week we turn the tables and you grow me a little bit.

Speaker 1 54:30

I'm excited about learning more about Brian Larson and helping everyone understand who you are, because you have so much knowledge and I look up to you in so many ways, man, and it's just, it's going to be cool to ask you a bunch of questions.

Final Thoughts and Living Life on Offense

Speaker 1 54:44

Yeah, all right. Well, you want to close this out? Yeah, if you. If you like this podcast, make sure you subscribe by smashing that, that subscribe button, and we would just love to hear your thoughts. Leave us a review. We're on all platforms and if this resonated with you in any way, shape or form, you know, feel free to share it with someone else. And we just want to invite you to the other. Do hard things. Nation community, you can try it out the join the wellness academy from there, grab some merch over there, and we would just love to have you part of this mission, if you're, if you're, compelled to be a part of it. So grateful, grateful for those that bought the book and excited about the future guests and what we're building together as this tribe continues to grow. So that's it. In the meantime, keep doing hard things and we will see you in the next episode. Thank you.