How I learned to have full body non-ejaculatory orgasms

Here's what AI said this episode is about: 

What if the best sex of your life starts with doing less? We dive into a counterintuitive practice that swaps clenching for softening, urgency for receptivity, and a finish-line mindset for waves of full-body pleasure. By anchoring to the simple release you feel while peeing, we retrain the pelvic floor to relax during arousal, letting sensation spread through the belly, hips, spine, and legs. The result isn’t just intensity—it’s nourishment that lingers long after the lights go out.

I break down the mechanics that changed everything: relaxing the pelvic floor and anus, softening the soles of the feet, and breathing low into the belly until the waistband gently expands. Movement matters too. When the hips naturally tuck and the spine undulates, energy circulates instead of bottling up. That circulation shifts the ejaculation reflex from a default endpoint to a true option. The orgasmic arc begins deep near the sacrum, rolls outward, and arrives in waves you can ride rather than force.

We also talk training. Like meditation, depth comes with repetition: breathwork, body awareness, and energetic practices build capacity so the body can hold more charge without tipping into release. That shift changes the psychology of sex. Chasing gives way to receiving, pressure dissolves into presence, and connection becomes richer because the body already feels full. Porn reliance eases, confidence rises, and partnership becomes an exchange of abundance instead of a scramble for relief.

If you’re curious about turning arousal into a full-body experience and freeing yourself from the “must finish” script, this conversation offers practical cues and grounded insight. Listen, try the techniques, and tell me what shifts for you. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more people find it.

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Transcript

A New Kind Of Orgasm

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So last night I had the greatest full body orgasms of my entire life of my entire life. And honestly, they're not one of many. Like, it's only been a few in the last. It's only been a handful of experiences like this over the last few months. Not really a handful of experiences, but more so a gradual, a gradual arriving to this depth of energetic experience in the body. Let me tell you, my friend. Let me tell you, my friends, especially shout out my dudes. Shout out to my my my guys, bro. The feeling of orgasm in the body, that wonderful arrival of pleasure in the body, is often kind of a trigger for the ejaculation response in the body. You know, this feels so good, so I come. This feels so good, so I ejaculate. Like, there's kind of a refractory period, the sensitivity of the penis, it changes. It's no longer something that is like, you know, the same mode as it was prior. Obviously, you can still lounge and luxuriate in connection and all that kind of stuff, but after the ejaculation, you know, you're kind of like, I don't really want to do this anymore. So um, let me just tell you, my friend, please listen to this shit because this is so cool to me. Deep relaxation. This is something I learned from Jonathan White, um, sexual kung fu on YouTube. This deep energetic relaxation. Just think about the best way to get this, dude, is just when you pee, the relaxation that you feel in your pelvic floor, the opening of the hips and the pelvic floor when you pee. You just relax. That tends to be the exact opposite as the state of the pelvic floor during stimulation and arousal. At least for me, and I don't I just say that to keep it personal. I I could I legitimately feel confident in saying for us guys, for people in general, especially for guys, there were the we the the reaction doo doo-de-doo-do like what's his name? What's the guy's uh I guess it's the Hunting Rabbits guy? Anyways, the response to arousal and stimulation is a tension. Specifically, like think about tensing up the pelvic floor to stiffen the erection and um and kind of feel more intensity. That's like the the natural response to arousal and stimulation. That's what happens. If that if you can recondition your body to respond like that. Relax. Relax. Like uh, I love the way I don't know if it's David Data or Jonathan White or John Wineland, but someone says, like the way that you when you crack open a beer on the beach and you take your first sip on a vacation, you go, that state of relaxation in the body, in response to sexuality, in response to sexual stimulation, in response to arousal, in response to a beautiful woman, in response to um a naked body, in response to a silky moan, in response to a beautiful um witnessing of someone else in their pleasure or their radiance or you know, whatever it is that really turns you on sexually. Responding to that in the way of and relaxation instead of like a, you know, um kind of possession of sorts, like uh a hunt, a hunt for something, where your attention becomes really stiffened and hyper-focused on getting something instead of receiving something. What I have found is that through the conscious relaxation practicing of relaxing of the pelvic floor primarily and the bottoms of my feet. Um they seem to be very, like, very powerful as like a place to center my attention. Relax the feet. Relax the pelvic floor, relax the anus, like relax your butthole while you're um in pleasure. And I know this stuff sounds wacko. Like I get it, man. I get it. I'm just here trying to share the good news. I don't mind putting the clown nose on for you to tell you the truth. This is this is great stuff. I'm telling you, this is great stuff. And if it's funny, let it be funny because you know what? Dude, try it. Try it. Dude, try try it. Uh try it and see who's laughing. Who's laughing now, baby? Um relax the pelvic floor, relax the feet, and do what you would do when you pee the whole time. Relax the penis. And also, also move the body as a way to kind of move the energy around. Breathe with more intention. Breathe deeply into the belly. Don't tense the abdomen. Relax the belly. Breathe deeply in a way, like if you sit right now, if you're just sitting, listen to this, where's your breath? Breathe in deeply in a way that pushes against your waistband. Breathe in deeply in a way that it almost feels like it bulges out the bottom of your pelvic floor, like near your gooch, you know. Breathe deeply in a way that if you were urinating, the inhale would would almost increase the flow of urine. Like it would make you pee stronger. You know, there's like a downward pressure of sorts. Anyways, doing that in response to sexual energy, what I have found expands the capacity for the body to experience arousal and pleasure, it makes it to where the body can take on more and more and more. The reflex of ejaculation is almost just a habitual placing of the energy through one route. This feels so good. I can use this feeling to trigger an ejaculation, which inevitably feels great. However, there it's a different kind of pleasure. It's a different kind of feeling. The feeling of ejaculating feels really good. Feels really good. However, the ability for the energy in the body to become just as immersive and just as good in a in a different kind of way is remarkable. And it's something that I can tell you, man, you gotta try. You gotta try. What's really cool about this is as a byproduct for me, sex has gone from something that doesn't feel good at all until the ejaculation, kind of like a um a a frustrated attempt to get something. Think about someone just aggressively trying to spin a a jack in the box. You know, like, and they're just ripping it with the with the car with the handle, like just trying to get after it. That's kind of what sex had been like me f been like for me forever. Sexual embodiment, reconnection to pleasure, feeling in my penis again caused me to become more moving from pleasure instead of moving from the desire to feel pleasure. You know, moving from what feels good instead of a desire to feel good. Uh one is embodied, one is responsive, one is reactive, one is kind of like trying to get somewhere, the other one is already there. But now, it's like now it's like the feeling of sex, the experience of sex is like this deeply expansive and energizing experience through my whole body. Through my whole body. Um It's been really interesting. And it's changed the way that sex changed the way that I engage with sex. Now it feels like sex to me is more of an opportunity to become saturated and nourished in that energy instead of just the chance to get a nut. Instead of like trying to have an have an ejaculatory ejaculatory orgasm, instead feel the immersive nuances and bliss of sexual energy. The one great way to know how to explain this is like um after a steak dinner, like a something, you know, like you don't need dessert. That's the way I think about the sex. It's like, you know, it used to be the ejaculation was the only part that was really worth it. You know, it was like really, really enjoyable, really pleasurable. Now it feels like the entire experience is so lovely, so powerful, so immersive, so sensitive, so remarkable that the ejaculation is kind of a take it or leave it thing. Anyways, last night I was I had the most wonderful, wonderful orgasms that went from my hips to my legs to the back of my head to my back muscles, my eyes, you know, everything was just writhing in pleasure. And it was remarkable to me that it seems that the the at the core of that experience, what unlocked that that ability to experience orgasm in that way, like I it is the relaxation of the pelvic floor and the conditioning to relax in response to sexual energy. I really do feel like I understand what females talk about with their orgasms, and I feel I can relate to the experience of having an orgasm from the perspective of what lovers have been like in the past, the way their body looks, the way they become um really entranced with this depth of erotic energy, and just the the the ways my body was moving last night and the way that it was like um undulating and like writhing around, and the way that I was breathing in my eyes, and it was like, oh, this is like an orgasm I've seen from partners, this is like an orgasm I've seen from lovers. This is like just being in a full-bodied state of orgasmic bliss versus just like this kind of power-driven jackhammer trying to bust a nut, trying to get to the uh da da da. Um, and I'm like, man, and what's crazy is like the origin point of the orgasm, obviously the sensations feel like they're being soaked in through the penis. Like the penis feels like it's the connection of sorts to uh receive the energy, like it's the entry point for the sexual energy, almost like my penis is a straw, and like you know, it's kind of pulling in sexual energy through the penis, but it feels as if the the the kind of beginning of the roll of the orgasm starts in the hips, in the deep part of my hips, like my sacral bones, like down towards my tailbone. This kind of sque almost like a not like a squeezing, like a muscular squeezing, but a um a congestion of energy that then begins to kind of uh roll outwards and feel so pleasureful. I noticed that my hips kind of tuck under, like there's a lot of like almost um uh what would you say? Like squeezing under of my hips. I wrote the word down. What did I write down here? Let me see. Ah, pumping, that was the word. Like the hips really kind of start to pump under, and I noticed that my my tail kind of pulls under, like there's a kind of a rolling under my hips that happen as it kind of like undulates. There's a second time I use that word, kind of pulsates and moves this energy upwards towards my spine and down my legs. And man, can it go for it? That's great, it's fantastic. It's just interesting to feel my body truly start to pick up new um behaviors, new kind of uh patterns of moving in response to sexual energy, specifically feeling the hips start to turn under, the hips start to kind of um pump up into the body. Um almost like you're pulling your your uh almost like you're pulling your uh pubic bone up towards your chest, you know, kind of like you're shrimping up a little bit. Um it's just interesting to see how cool, how how new uh some of these behaviors are. And um last thing I'll say, because I think it's worth saying, is the feeling of waves of pleasure. One thing I've noticed a lot in my own uh practice with sexuality, with myself, with partnered sex, is when, and I said this before, but man, I'll say it a lot probably, because I think it's really great. Um pleasure I have found is its own, it's kind of it's kind of welcomed into the experience. Pleasure comes into the experience, and it's like uh an energy, like maybe it's like an energy that truly uh moves into the body, moves throughout the body, and leaves, and then comes and goes, and comes and goes, and waves of sorts. You know, instead of it being like a feel-good button, you can just like you know, do more or do harder, more so it's something that needs to be respected and negotiated with. I've noticed that when I truly when I'm really practicing embodiment, being in my body, moving in response to pleasure, not moving out of an attempt to try to feel something, just want to feel something, just wanting to feel something. That's kind of that aggressive, uh needy desperation to try to get something to work. Um instead, a relaxation and moving from pleasure, it feels so good that that seems to be interesting in the sense that it has waves to it. It's something I'm going along the ride for, not necessarily something I'm necessarily making happen. Obviously, I'm there's stimulation on the body, and obviously that's contributing to the rise of the energy, but it it feels like something that I'm per that I'm moving with instead of just necessarily making happen, if that makes sense. Which I think is probably more of the relaxation aspect of it, relaxing the body. Um, by the way, I do want to say it doesn't necessarily mean relaxing the entire body. I have found that um the muscles tend to contract throughout the body a lot during the sexual experience for me, and that intensifies uh and it amplifies the energy that I have in my body, the muscular contraction, the moving around. Um that does really like move it around, but it's specifically the tension around the genitals, the tension around the pelvic floor. It's specifically the pelvic floor for me. The pelvic floor and the anus, um, maybe even the feet too, just relaxing these like really um maybe powerful centers in the body uh in a way to promote that that energy that's coming in the body through the the genitals, I guess through the feet too, I don't know, but the feet seem to help. But relaxing that allows that energy to move more freely. And the last thing I'll say is um the Chokichigong practice that I've learned with um Jonathan White. Uh his he has a course called the Multi-orgasmic Man. Um, it's literally this stuff, just learning how to practice it, learning the like the ways to do um kind of um breath work, body work in a way that primes the body. I've noticed that it seems that the you know the phrase you don't rise to the occasion, you sink to your level of training, really does make a lot of sense in a sexual capacity. Like, I would not have been able to have a full-body orgasm at all a year ago. Well, yeah, about a year ago. I roughly started the the his one of his I ref I started his course, the multi-orgasmic man about a year ago. Um a year ago, I wouldn't be able to even have it. Um and I think why is because there's a familiarity with um routines in the body. Like, how do you practice relaxing your body and circulating sexual energy? Huh? How do you even do that? How do you practice that? Um well you practice it, you practice it, practice, practice it, and then there's a depth that happens, kind of like am I my meditation? Like, you know, if you sat down with meditation for one minute for your first session ever, and after one minute, you're like, I get it, I get it, tranquility, I get it. Um, stillness, I get it. You know, you got it to a degree, but there's more depth that you can experience, and then you can familiarize yourself from a nervous system standpoint with the depths of those states of relaxation and tranquility. In the same way, there's a um, it's like a skill that in the body is cultivated. Relax in response to stimulation, relax in response to erotic energy, relax in response to sexual energy, relax, relax, relax, even more, even more, even more, even deeper, even more, even deeper, even more. Breathe fully with the sexual energy, breathe fully the arousal in the body. Move it around with your breath and your with with your movements, move your body in a means of kind of circulating the energy. Deepen the breath in a way that feels expansive and fulfilling instead of kind of quickening and uh anticipatory. Do these things, and the quality of the experience of the sexual experience just begins to change a little more. And so then I change a little more, and then it changes a little more, and then a little more, and then eventually it's taken on a whole new quality. And then you have moments like my experience last night that I'm like, holy crap, what is this sorcery? What kind of sorcery is this? I wish I knew what that was from. What kind of sorcery is this? Where the whole body is in a state of orgasmicity. This is beautiful, and I love this. And it also feels like a it also feels like, and this may be the caffeine talking. I drank a little caffeine today, I ain't gonna lie. Took a day off, drank a little caffeine, decided to record a podcast. Um it also seems to be really helpful, it also seems to provide a specific feeling of of um fulfillment or ease because there's such a potency of the energy, such a potency of the sexual energy, of the erotic energy that it feels like um it feels it feels nourishing in a way that just the um previous sexual behaviors didn't. Previous sexual behaviors felt like it provided an orgasm and some kind of like stimulating of um the um the body's sexuality through fantasy, etc. But in the same way that junk food just kind of stimulates the hunger, it doesn't really nourish you and leave you feeling full and satisfied. It more so just kind of like um gives you this short burst of of stimulation that then kind of quickly need leaves you with needing more. You never quite feel fully satiated. Um in the same way, these sexual practices have been different, where it's so nice to feel fulfilled and satisfied and satiated and nourished sexually instead of just stimulated past my need uh briefly and then return to the same kind of cycle, you know. And that to me has allowed me to feel the ability to reach a sense of being fully fulfilled and nourished in sexuality in myself by myself without pornography, just with my own practice with my body, um just makes me feel so much more centered. I have all that I need in my body. I am already there. And for me, the practice of wanting to enjoy this with someone else is just wanting to take that to the level that it can only be taken when it's being reciprocated and kind of passed back and forth, you know. It's like I know how to cook, you know. I'm saying I know how to make a great meal for myself, a delicious, delectable, exquisite, my friend. And man, have I learned the skills of enjoying beautiful, delicious food uh in my own kitchen and have the capacity to experience that. And I don't need someone else to um make me feel those things, but you know, it would be really lovely to feel more of those uh with a person, you know. So, like that's the motivation for partnership and romantic connection and those kind of things. But it does bring a different energy to the to the kind of mating game of sorts. It removes the desperation that for me feels like a weakening aspect of it. And also makes me feel really sexy and also really prepared to share something really lovely with a partner or with a with a connection, um in a way that I really like a lot. So yeah, uh thanks for listening to all this. Uh if it's been helpful, then heck yeah. Go us. If it's just been an interesting listen and you're you're like, I don't know what this guy's talking about, that too. Um lots of love, and I will uh do this again someday.