Episode 1: Wanna Know the Secret to Getting Unstuck?

If you’re anything like me or other survivors of narcissistic and emotional abuse, you’ve no doubt experienced the pains of feeling stuck. You’ve probably thought…

Why can’t I just move on?

Will this suffering ever end?

This is too unbearable.

I’ll never heal.

If this sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone. Feelings of being stuck and unable to push forward after abuse is so normal. There is nothing wrong with you if you’ve felt this way. In fact, there’s a reason and it’s probably not what you think! The majority of those suffering who feel like they can’t move forward after abuse just don’t have the tools to get unstuck. The good news is, you can absolutely get unstuck, and I’ll be sharing how you can do this for yourself in today’s episode number 1.

So, if you’re a survivor of emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse or a toxic relationship and you want to learn more about 1:1 Rapid Reprogramming™ for subconscious healing, send Allison K. Dagney a DM on Instagram or Facebook and get started on your healing journey today!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to the Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast, episode number one. I hear it all the time. People who are suffering from toxic or narcissistic relationships say things like, I just can't move on. I'm so stuck and I'm in this trauma bond that I can't let go of. If you're someone who has said this or anything like it, you know what it's like to feel completely stuck on your healing journey, but you're not alone. These are really common thoughts when feeling Welcome to the Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast. I'm a podcast specifically designed to help you heal after a toxic or narcissistic relationship. This podcast teaches you to use your subconscious mind to go from feeling stuck to set free. In here, you will learn how to use the power of your own mind to free yourself from emotional pain, move forward with confidence, and experience the inner peace you deserve in your healing journey after emotional abuse. I'm your host and and subconscious reprogramming coach, Alison Dagny. So let's get started. Okay, so most people who've gotten out of a toxic or narcissistic relationship start their healing journeys right away. But one of the problems that almost all of us face is that we make it pretty far and then we start feeling better and eventually we hit a wall. We feel stuck and no matter what we do or how hard we try, we just can't seem to make it over that hump from feeling stuck to feeling that inner peace and emotional healing we so often look forward to. I'm sure you've heard it. things like, life is so much better after you get away from that toxic person. I heard people say things like, you just cannot imagine how free you'll feel until you get out. Then, when you get out, you don't feel that way. I mean, normally you'll feel that initial weight lifted off of your shoulders because there's no one criticizing you and telling you what to do anymore. But the reality is, whatever damage was done won't just go away without some really intentional effort. You have to put in the work and continue Commit to it to feel the results. So before we ever begin this journey, it's easy to imagine that everything's going to immediately be better. We think about independence, freedom, peace of mind, and all kinds of other things. And though these are all really wonderful things to keep on our sights, there's this one nagging problem that keeps us from overcoming that obstacle of feeling stuck. Here's the thing. Envisioning our futures, that healed version of ourselves that we all want just isn't enough. You might feel like the battle is between you and the person who hurt you, but the true battle isn't fighting what's going on outside of you. It's fighting what's going on inside of you. It's things like wishing the other person who hurt you would change or hoping that they'll give you an apology or closure. It's trying to force them to behave differently so that you could just be happy. But the reality is these wishes and hopes will never be a successful way to feeling better inside of yourself. These are all just external circumstances that really we have absolutely no control over. Here's the really important piece I want you to know. The battle you are fighting is between you and your subconscious mind. It's between you and your thoughts. Feeling stuck isn't about what other people are feeling. or are not doing. Feeling stuck isn't about trying more techniques or adding a completely new healing regimen. And I know about so many of those healing techniques and I know they all offer their own unique benefits. Blended together, they can create a really wonderful recipe that can help us in so, so many ways. So I'm not minimizing the therapeutic effects of these things. And if you're doing these things already, I think you should keep doing them, but adding more to your plate isn't the real solution to getting unstuck. So now you're probably asking, well, what is? I'd like you to visualize yourself waist deep in a hole filled with heavy mud. Okay, you're very stuck. If it rains, you're still stuck. If it's sunny, you're still stuck. You know very well you cannot change the circumstances around you, but you do know that if you decide you want to be unstuck, you can start to dig that mud out handful by handful. Eventually with some effort and consistency you'll have dug down to your knees and then to your ankles and finally your feet. You can pull yourself out of the mud all the way and then you can stand up and walk away. The mud in this visualization are all the thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you from moving forward. So in order to get unstuck we have to remove all of those muddy thoughts that are keeping us from getting out and getting unstuck. All right so you're probably thinking now, but I have no idea what these thoughts you're talking about even are. How do I know? In just a few minutes, I'm going to tell you exactly how to tap into your mind to find them. I want you to be able to leave every one of these episodes with a takeaway. So now that you know that these muddy thoughts, as I call them, even exist in your mind, even though you might not know what they are yet, I'd like to explain to you how they got there. So our thoughts and our brains programming. Our thoughts and beliefs didn't just come out of nowhere. They weren't part of our tiny little bodies when we were born. They came from all kinds of things. Our parents, our families, our teachers, experiences, even outside factors like geographic locations, political climates, and even the economy. We were born as a blank slate, but over time, outside programming started to cover up our blank slate. Every experience, every criticism, traumas, compliments, all the things that people in our world said and did all created our unique programming. It's why no two people are exactly alike because with our programming we see the world through a filter and that's our filter and it's specifically unique to only us and no one else. It is anything that your brain took note of and filed away in your mind that programmed you to be how you are today. Notice I didn't say who you are but but how you are, because who you are is still there. How you are was covering up the person you were born to be. So as far as the mud in my analogy earlier, those are the negative and limiting thoughts that keep you in pain. And I use the term muddy because not all thoughts keep us in pain, but the muddy ones are the ones that keep us feeling stuck. I mean, I could go on and on about this. Our brains just absorb so much when we are little humans. And And this is why no two people have the exact same personality and beliefs. It's because of what we believe and we all believe different things. But here's something I want to share with you. Just because you believe it doesn't make it true. A belief is really just a thought that isn't 100% true for 100% of people 100% of the time. So when you realize that our beliefs aren't facts, we can start to acknowledge them. and then question them. If this resonates with you, then your mind is already open to retraining it. One more thing I wanna mention, your beliefs might be true to you and that is completely valid and okay. For instance, you know that the person who abused you or mistreated you is toxic. No one is trying to take that truth away from you. So when I say we have to question those thoughts, I don't mean you have to all of a sudden start questioning if that person is actually toxic, no. No, no, no, not at all. What you are questioning is the belief that is keeping you feeling stuck. Usually when I talk to clients about feeling stuck, they say things like, I can't let go of this anger or I'm just so miserable without him. And I say this with so much compassion. The reality is this, the beliefs that you can't let go and that you are miserable without him is really what's keeping you stuck. And when we internally fight reality we end up suffering immensely so day in and day out if we believe we can't move on and we can't let go of anger you can imagine how that makes us feel our subconscious mind wants to be right so when our subconscious mind believes it can't let go because of what you've told it it finds all the reasons in the world not to when reality is not aligned with what we believe our brains send out alarms that say, this is not making sense. And we feel angry, frustrated, sad, guilty, regretful. You get the idea. So let me ask you, what if you believed something different about letting go? How do you think you would feel if you didn't believe you'd always be stuck? How might you show up differently in your life if you knew healing was possible for you? What would your life look like if you let go of the belief that that you'll never be unstuck. I'd love to invite you to start really thinking about these questions. Get some paper and a pen and start getting into your subconscious mind. And remember, when you're feeling stuck, stuck isn't the actual emotion you feel. Stuck is a word that we use when we have difficulty identifying the emotion. Saying I feel stuck is actually a thought that creates the emotion. You might feel frustrated or angry or sad because you are stuck and aren't moving forward and that's okay and completely normal what will help you get unstuck is uncovering the thoughts that are creating those emotions and beginning the journey of inquiry if you'd like to explore doing this work with me one-on-one click the link in the description and set up a free clarity call with me today here's to believing in you Thank you for being here with me today in the emotional abuse recovery podcast. I hope you found value here with me. If this podcast episode was helpful to you, I'd love for you to hit subscribe and leave me a review. My goal is to help you go from feeling stuck to set free. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook, and you can check out when tears leave scars.com for more resources and information to help you with your own emotional abuse recovery. use recovery. Until next time, here's to believing in you.