Episode 181: Mini Series 3: Why You Shouldn't Have Left Sooner

Do you beat yourself up with the thought, “I should’ve left sooner”? Survivors of emotional abuse often live with deep regret, believing they wasted years or failed themselves and their children by staying too long. But here’s the truth: you couldn’t have left any earlier—because your brain and nervous system were working to keep you alive.

In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host and subconscious reprogramming expert Allison K. Dagney explains the real science behind why leaving abuse is so hard. You’ll learn how survival responses like freeze and fawn keep you feeling stuck, how trauma bonding rewires the brain with powerful chemical loops of fear and relief, and why your nervous system literally made it feel impossible to leave before you did.

Through relatable examples and trauma-informed insights, Allison shows you how to reframe this painful belief and honor the strength it took to leave when you finally could. Instead of seeing wasted years, you’ll learn to see survival, resilience, and wisdom.

If you’ve ever searched: why didn’t I leave sooner, why I stayed in an abusive relationship, how to forgive myself for staying, why leaving abuse is so hard, or stuck in trauma bond, this episode will give you clarity and peace.