Be A Better You
The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney. As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.
I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before.
The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.
Be A Better You
Ep 215: Chemistry Isn't Always a Green Flag (Especially After Abuse)
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You feel the spark.
The pull.
The butterflies that make it feel like this could be something real.
But what if that “chemistry” isn’t actually a good sign?
In this episode, we’re breaking down why intense attraction after emotional abuse can be misleading—and how what feels like connection is often your nervous system recognizing a familiar (and unhealthy) pattern.
You’ll learn the difference between true emotional safety and nervous system activation, why calm and consistent can feel boring at first, and how to stop mistaking anxiety for chemistry in dating and relationships.
We also go deeper into how to rebuild trust with your body’s intuition, recognize patterns that mirror past abusive relationships or childhood dynamics, and begin shifting out of cycles of overthinking, chasing, and emotional highs and lows.
If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to the same type of person over and over again… this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently moving forward.
This isn’t about ignoring attraction.
It’s about understanding what’s driving it.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why “chemistry” can be a red flag after emotional abuse
- The difference between healthy attraction and trauma-based attraction
- How your nervous system influences who you’re drawn to
- Why calm, steady relationships can feel unfamiliar or wrong
- How to trust your body’s intuition again
- Practical ways to recognize and interrupt unhealthy relationship patterns
If you're ready to stop repeating the same relationship cycle and start understanding your patterns at the root, you can book a free 30-minute Root Cause Call through the show notes.
Keywords:
emotional abuse recovery, trauma bonding, relationship patterns, dating after emotional abuse, nervous system healing, toxic relationships, healthy relationships, intuition and relationships, attachment patterns, why I feel chemistry with the wrong person, break toxic cycles, subconscious patterns, healing from narcissistic abuse, relationship anxiety, trauma and attraction
Use this link to apply for a free root cause call today
Ready to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again?
Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt.
✍🏻 Apply for a FREE Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan Call and discover what's really keeping you stuck, along with the next steps to help you move forward.
📧 Questions? Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com
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Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast