Been There Got Out Podcast
Episodes
351 episodes
My Kid Returns from My Ex's Furious - Here's Why & What To Do
You pick your child up from their other parent's, and within minutes, the screaming starts. Maybe they're throwing things. Maybe they're kicking you. Maybe they're saying things you never imagined hearing from your own kid's mouth - things that...
How to Stop Being Terrified of Family Court with Dr. Ben Garber
🎯 "I don't know what to expect — and that terrifies me."If that's where you are right now, this conversation was made for you.Dr. Benjamin Garber is a New Hampshire-licensed psychologist, former therapist of 30 years, custody ev...
How to Stay Calm During Custody Exchanges with Dr. Andrea DePetris
If seeing your ex, even from across a parking lot, sends your body into overdrive, you're not overreacting. You're experiencing a trauma response. And it has a name.In this episode, Lisa sits down with Dr. Andrea DePetris, a clinical ps...
SB 1192: How California Is Fighting Post-Separation Legal Abuse
If your ex keeps dragging you back to court - filing motion after motion just to control, harass, and drain you, you already know how the legal system can become the abuser's most powerful weapon. What you might not know is that California is o...
Why 14 is the Most Dangerous Age for Parental Alienation: a Psychologist Explains
What if the moment your child starts pulling away isn't a sign of failure, but the beginning of a chapter you can still write?Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst has spent 50 years as a psychologist inside divorce cases, family courts, and the offic...
What Really Happens When CPS Investigates You During a Custody Battle
What CPS Is Actually Looking For When They Knock on Your DoorWhen Child Protective Services shows up during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, the fear can be overwhelming. You might be terrified of losing your children, furious...
Why You Married a Narcissist & How to Make Sure Your Kids Don’t
Have you ever looked back at your relationship with your ex and wondered: how did I get here? Why did I choose someone who would eventually turn the courts, the kids, maybe even your own family against you? Why did this feel so normal... at fir...
Your Child Isn't Lying. They're Code-Switching. Here's What That Means.
Your child cried at your house about how much they hate going to their other parent's home. Then you found out they had a great time. Or they came home from your ex's house perfectly happy, when you expected them to be upset. Or they told you o...
Can a Horse Heal Your Trauma? Equine Therapy for Divorce & Narcissistic Abuse
When Kasia Bukowska's horses refused to cooperate, she thought she was failing. What she discovered instead changed everything she understood about trauma, healing, and why we stay stuck. Kasia is a Polish equine-assisted therapist...
Polygraph Tests & Custody Battles: What Every Falsely Accused Parent Must Know
No one believes you. You've said it in every room. To every professional. To the judge, the GAL, the CPS worker. You didn't do this. The allegations are false. And yet — somehow — your children are not with you. &nbs...
Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex Won't Break You (Here's the Science of Why)
You know you shouldn't react. You know exactly what your ex is doing when they push, bait, violate the court order, or put the kids in the middle. You've read the articles. You've heard about grey rock. You're smart — you've built a career, rai...
Why You Can't Be Calm Around Your Narcissist Ex (and How to Finally Change That)
There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking....
How to Use a Business Valuation to Force Your Ex to Settle Faster
If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. An...
Protecting Your Children: What Every Parent Should Know About Sexual Abuse & Trauma
Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the we...
Fear vs. Intuition: How to Know Your Gut is Right After Gaslighting
Making critical decisions in high-conflict divorce when you can barely trust your own judgment? This interview is essential viewing. After experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal in a toxic relationship, many people st...
Healing From Betrayal Trauma: Research-Backed Recovery Stages
"I'll never trust again."That's what Lisa thought after discovering the truth about her nearly 20-year marriage—the serial affairs, the unprotected sex that put her health at risk, the father-in-law who helped finance the betrayals whil...
Does My Child Need Therapy During Our Divorce? Play Therapist Answers
Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorc...
What Custody Evaluators Actually Look For (From an Attorney Who Does Them)
🎯 "What does a custody evaluator actually look for?"If you're terrified of your upcoming custody evaluation, attorney Tracy Galloway has the answer—and it might not be what you think.Tracy has been a Massachusetts child custody ...
Why You Should Try Mediation with a Narcissist (Even When Everyone Says Don't)
🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?"If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction.<...
Trauma Bonds Explained: Why You Keep Attracting Narcissists
"I finally got out of that toxic relationship! I'm never doing that again!"Six months later: Same person, different body.If this pattern sounds familiar, you're not alone—and according to trauma therapist Sherry Gaba, it's not y...
You're Not "Just Anxious." You're Validation Addicted (And Here's What to Do)
🎯 "If I don't get validation from my partner (or - yikes - my ex), I can't function. I'm a mess unless I get that feedback, that positive reinforcement."That's validation addiction, and according to Ralph Brewer, founder of Help for Men...
When Your ADHD or Special Needs Child Is Weaponized Against You in Court
🎯 **"90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."**Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently ci...
The Long-Term Effects of Parental Alienation: An Adult Child's Perspective
🎯 "Just pretend they are dead."That's what a psychiatrist told Steven Eichenblatt's biological father—advice he followed when he dropped seven-year-old Steven and his twin sister off one day and never came back.Steven is now an ...
Living Bereavement: Processing Grief When Your Child Turns Against You
🎯 "Loss is loss. And we lose not only loved ones, but we lose a lot of different aspects in our life. Losing a child through disconnection... that is a really serious aspect of grief."Jock Brocas—spiritual medium, psychologist researche...
Can My Kids Be OK? A Divorce Therapist Who's Been There Explains
🎯 "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. It was all because of what I was doing—what we were doing—to my kids."If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.Jill Barnett Kaufman is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, certif...