#284 Imposter Syndrome

We break down why imposter syndrome can feel louder during uncertainty and why it often targets high performers, not beginners. We connect self-doubt to locus of control, anxiety, burnout, and the pressure to keep moving the goalpost instead of taking in real wins. 

• Defining imposter syndrome as persistent self-doubt despite evidence of competence 
• Imposter syndrome not being a formal DSM diagnosis while still feeling intense 
• Internal vs external locus of control and how it shapes confidence and resilience 
• recognising how upbringing bullying caregivers peers and work culture affect self-belief 
• small acts of agency and self-efficacy that shift perceived control 
• cultural impostor syndrome and racial impostor syndrome and the role of perception 
• global instability and uncertainty increasing external control beliefs and anxiety 
• CBT-style three-column exercise to separate control from evidence 
• reducing isolation by talking to someone and using support groups 
• reality checks self-evaluation and gathering proof of accomplishments 
• mindfulness nature breath work online limits and healthier boundaries 

Utilize these resources, utilize the help that's out there, and don't avoid the opportunities and support because there are people that do want to hear you out, and there are people that can really relate to you. 

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Transcript

Welcome Back And Why This Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesdays with Sogand. It's been a while. Did you miss me? Because I really miss you a lot a lot. Today we have a really good segment for you. Tonight we are going to be diving into imposter syndrome, what it is and what it's not. My hope is that you'll be able to leave this segment feeling more empowered, as imposter syndrome is really common, and research shows that it can actually feel more intense in unstable and uncontrollable environments. And whether you're like me and follow the world news as a trauma informed mental health professional, or you just happen to come across headlines that stop you in your tracks, you've likely experienced the reality of how it feels to be out of control. And this, my friends, shows that you are actually experiencing more anxiety than what is supposed to be normal. And these anxieties are associated with imposture syndrome. Oftentimes, we also call it imposture experience and the imposture phenomenon. So you will hear me using those terms interchangeably. So get ready for an impactful segment. We're referring to a development by psychologist Julian Roder in 1954, in which the suggestion was that those of us with an internal locus of control believe that we can influence what happens to us, and those of us with an external locus of control feel that things happen outside of our control. This understanding, according to an article that I found in Simply Psychology, written just a few months ago in November, states that once we understand our locus of control, we can improve our self-awareness, goal setting, and resilience. If you have an internal locus of control, you'll likely believe that you control outcomes and the results that follow because of the effort that you put in. You probably take responsibility of what happens to you because you see it as a consequence of your actions and your decisions. Some argue that this leads to a more proactive method of change when it comes to goal setting and changing aspects of your life. However, if you identify more with an external lotus of control, you will have faith in things like luck, fate, actions of others. You might feel discouraged to make efforts because you see it as impacting very little change. Some argue that this leads to a more reactive method of change, so you might be less likely to take on ways to change your life, ways to set goals. It's important to state that the lotus of control is a spectrum. People are all over the place in it. And it's not fixed, but we will talk about that more. Most people see themselves somewhere in the middle. Because it's not fixed, with mindset shifts, mindfulness, emotional regulation, and mental health work, your lotus of control can be changed. An article I found on Heart Life Holistic, updated just a few months ago in March, actually discusses that a lotus of control is not a personality type that we're born with, but rather a learned thinking pattern, which means it can be unlearned as well. This article makes mention of Albert Bandura's work on self-efficacy and how, I quote, small, repeated patterns and experiences of competence gradually shift people and how they see themselves in relation to others and their lives. In reference to imposter syndrome, I'm sharing this information as an inquiry to where your internal lotus of control is, where is your mindset and what is it influenced by? Once you recognize your patterns of thinking, you're more likely to start developing new ways to navigate yourself in situations that you're a part of. When we look at the stages of change, the first one is often that self-awareness. A lot of people find themselves in denial of their self-awareness. And there's many reasons for that. Sometimes you're just not ready for change, or sometimes you're not looking for change. But when you are actually serious about this change, it's important to shift yourself out of that denial and really ask yourself: where is my mindset? What kind of patterns do I find myself in? This is gonna help you redirect your attention, your energy, and your surroundings as you're able to better understand how everything that you take in is gonna impact you on a psychological level. It's important to recognize your upbringing. It's important to recognize if you have been the victim or the survivor, however you choose to identify, of bullying. It's important to recognize the ways in which your caregivers spoke to you and still speak to you, your friends, your colleagues, your work environments, all of these have been shown to actually have an impact on your lotus of control. Remember how earlier in the segment I mentioned the intention here is to help you feel more empowered. One way towards this is this recognition of what is in your control and what is not. More broadly, what is the type of locus of control that you have, and how do your daily actions, your self-talk, and that which surrounds you contribute to this? Secondly, per the article I quoted earlier in HeartLifeHolistic.com, I quote, You have more influence than you think. Research by Ellen Langer and the psychology of control has found that small symbolic acts of agency, making a choice, taking responsibility for minor outcomes, can begin to shift a person's sense of personal power. That is also a direct quote. I'm offering you these direct quotes so that you feel that you are empowered, so that you feel that you are in a position to make things change. If this sounds good to you, I found a free resource that you can explore this even further on DBT. DBT is a psychological tool called dialectical behavior therapy. There are many, many, many resources that are free. There are free workshops and free worksheets that you can find on this website that I'm going to share with you, in which you can begin to do some of this inner work that's going to shift you from that denial to that agency and that self-awareness. This is on the website of HeartLifeHolistic.com in the resources section. There are also different resources there too that you can take a look at. And if you are interested in really understanding your logos of control, I really, really invite you to look at this. So shifting back to our main topic of imposter syndrome, in the literature of Klantz and Imes 1978, imposter syndrome, also referred to as imposter phenomenon, is defined as persistent self-doubt about one's abilities, despite objective evidence of competence or success. And it's usually accompanied by a fear of being exposed as a fraud. And you know what's so interesting? This is actually often considered a miscalibration problem, not an act of ability. Because it so often happens with high performers, it's found typically in people in competitive fields, and it's really not because the competence is low, but rather because the competence is high. Isn't that so interesting? We really are our own worst critics. And I was listening to Dr. Tracy Marks, who's a psychiatrist on YouTube when I was preparing for this, and even she was saying that while imposter syndrome is experienced by all sorts of people from all walks of life, it's often seen more in people in marginalized communities and people who come from communities in which they don't feel seen, they don't feel heard. And we're gonna get into this a little bit more later. But if you are at this point in the segment feeling like there's some imposter syndrome that you're experiencing, just know that the research says that you're most likely more qualified than you're actually giving yourself credit for. And I think that's really important to remember. According to Britannica, imposter syndrome is not in the DSM. The DSM is a diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Most of us mental health professionals have this. If you've ever seen any of our bookshelves, it's just hanging out there. And it has a wider range of formal diagnoses, but imposter syndrome is not recognized as a formal diagnosis. And so it's not an actual clinical disorder, but it's pretty intense when you experience it. When it's taking place, folks are more likely to attribute their wins in life as luck rather than talent. They also hold unrealistic standards of success, and even though they often work really, really hard to succeed, they feel dissatisfied with their achievements, or the goalpost just keeps moving and moving and moving. I've seen this post on Instagram, and it's something I'm definitely paraphrasing, but such as, did you achieve what you wanted, or are you too busy by moving the goalpost each time? And I think that's really important. I have been guilty of this myself, so this also hits home for me, but I'm sure it you know hits home for many of you that are listening. That are you actually taking the time to sit back and look at your wins and look at your achievements and look at your success, or are you consistently looking forward to the next thing that you can do? What can you do better? What can you do greater? If that goalpost keeps moving, you're not giving yourself any opportunity to actually celebrate the win. And you might think that being a harsh critic to yourself is actually helping you maybe perfect your game. But research tells us that it's most likely actually giving you these feelings of imposter syndrome because you're not celebrating the wins and you're constantly trying to achieve more. And sometimes this is actually putting your nervous system in a fight-flight freeze instead of that rest and digest that we've spoken about in segments prior. Adding to imposter syndrome's feelings of inadequacy, there's also burnout and anxiety. And I know a lot of us are still feeling this way post-pandemic lockdown, post everything that's going on really in the world, everything that's happened in the last five years, but things that are going on right now, you're likely working super hard and maybe not giving yourself enough credit for it. What I want you to consider here is that you are perceiving this. You're perceiving this inadequacy, you're perceiving this not feeling good enough, you're perceiving this fear of being exposed. So, by perceived, we mean that there's likely not a whole lot of evidence to back it up. This is another important consideration in this conversation, and it is fueled oftentimes by something called cultural imposter syndrome. I found it interesting and relevant to our audience to mention this. This is a piece done by Sahij Korkoli, and she has a beautiful, profound piece on this called How Do Culture, Family, and Identity Inform Your Feelings of Imposterism? And she goes into it and she talks about cultural impostor syndrome that takes place amongst those from marginalized communities. I mentioned that Dr. Tracy Marks says that oftentimes people in marginalized communities do experience impostor syndrome, although impostor syndrome can be experienced by a lot of people. So, that cultural impostor syndrome, in the piece by Sahich Korkoli, she argues that growing up in family systems where the expectations are that you are high achieving, that can lead to impostor syndrome. She also discusses being enough and this concept of enoughness for our families and fitting in with what is expected of us, be it gender, sensuality, age, race, or cultural identity. There's also another form of impostor syndrome called racial impostor syndrome. And this is feelings of insecurity and doubt that arise when individuals' own sense of racial or ethnic identity don't fit in with how others perceive them. Again, that word perceive. This is a quote by another article that I found from Vice Netherlands 2022. I invite you to once again, though, recognize that word perceived. Do you see a common theme here? The common theme here is that these are things that people are perceiving about themselves rather than objective truths. Continuing with this exploration of racial imposter syndrome is experiences of racism. Further in this article, those being interviewed, such as Dutch psychologist Anita Delgado Silva, state that although racial impostor syndrome is also not a formal diagnosis, it contributes to what? Anxiety and burnout. Do we see a pattern here, our lovely listeners? What keeps coming up? This is perceived, there's anxiety, and there's burnout. Right. One way to conceptualize these findings and conversations on imposter syndrome is this. And I quote, this is a systemic error in our self-evaluation, where competent individuals, like you and I listening, fail to update our self-beliefs in light of evidence. So, if you are experiencing imposter syndrome, I really want you to pause and think about this. Hopefully, it will interrupt your thinking spiral, even if it's just momentarily. A. You're likely more competent than you're giving yourself credit for. B. Based on research that we just covered, your feelings of imposter syndrome exist despite your success, not because of its absence. C, despite your ongoing success, this persistent fear of being a fraud might just be a fear and nothing more. D. Based on research again, imposter syndrome operates on top of real achievement and not an absence of it. So maybe at this conjecture, ask yourself, what is the objective success here? And what is the subjective self-evaluation patterns? Again, what is the objective success here? And what is the subjective self-evaluation patterns? To really seal the deal on how your imposter syndrome is most likely lying to you is your perceived notions in yourself. Remember that in 1978, imposter syndrome was first coined by psychologist Dr. Pauline Rose Klans and Dr. Suzanne Imes in their seminal research paper. And you know who they were looking at? High-achieving women who, despite their objective success, felt that they didn't deserve their accomplishments, and they also had a fear of being exposed as frauds. When I was doing this research, I also heard Dr. Tracy Marks and another YouTube video that I don't recall the name of, but they said even Albert Einstein had moments where he thought that he was just lucky and that he just came across things by luck, not that he was a genius. This history is taken from psychology today in regards to the high-achieving women I mentioned before. You can read more about it and the genesis of imposter syndrome. But yeah, again, it's successful people feeling incompetent. There's a mismatch between the success and the self-belief. And this is crucial here because it is one that limits you to consider if you are currently experiencing imposter syndrome, be it academically, personally, or professionally. So now that we've done this deep dive into what imposter syndrome is and what it's not, let's return to our segment. So why have I decided to talk about this today? Well, there just seems to be a lot happening in the world right now, and a lot of it seems to be out of our control. Based in psychology, when there's so much out of our control, such trends of local and global instability, folks actually experience lots of feelings of uncertainty, leading to reduced sense of control. And guess what? This results in external lotus of control. Remember we talked about lotus of control? If you're following this conversation, you remember that the lotus of control is when you feel less empowered because you feel that such things are happening outside of your control. This is relevant again here. Just a reminder though, in case you forgot, all of our well-being Wednesdays with so gain segments are uploaded onto our Spotify so you can always pause, review, listen again, and refresh your memory if you miss anything or just need a refresher. But yeah, unstable living conditions such as those reported by many in our city, with the rise of gas, inflation, grocery prices, and the world at large with the news of war and destruction. Yeah, all of this inevitably leads us to be more focused on what is actually out of our control and what is more reliant on external factors. This then increases our anxiety, gives us more burnout, enhances our self-monitoring and self-doubt, reduces confidence in our own decision-making and anxiety, and what? Overlaps with imposter syndrome. I hope that you're seeing this loop. Adding to this is the fact that global uncertainty means unequal access to resources, uneven opportunities, inconsistent judgment and morality, and wideset distortions, all of which further impact our external focus of control and lead to imposter syndrome. According to an article that I found in current psychology, in Springer Nature Link, imposter syndrome is actually linked to this reduced personal perceived control and higher external control beliefs. Should you want to read more into that, it's called an experimental study of the non-self-serving attributional bias within impostor and phenomenon and its relation to fixed mindset. Now you know the science. Now you've heard the arguments, now you have a good idea of what imposture syndrome is and what it's not. So now what? Good question. Now I give you tools on what to do about it. One effective way to disrupt the thinking pattern of impostor syndrome, particularly during times of uncertainty, such as now, is one inspired by CBT cognitive behavior therapy. This is a very simple exercise that actually works. So, on a piece of paper, you're gonna create three columns. One, you're gonna put what's in my control right now. The second one, what's outside of my control right now? And the third one, what evidence do I have pertaining to my skills and my abilities? You will see that there's a lot in that middle column. Because there's a lot that's out of your control right now. This activity will also help you recognize the lotus of control and you start to feel empowered again to see where you're putting your energy and your attention to. Remember that empowerment that I wanted? Yeah, you're gonna start feeling empowered when you do this exercise. Another one that you can do is not to hold these thoughts to yourself, not to create an echo chamber of these thoughts and actually talk to somebody. Did you know imposter feelings grow stronger when you're in isolation? Yeah. That's because you don't have anyone challenging you. You're constantly and consistently thinking about how you're not doing well enough, how you're not good enough. And the more you think about that, the more you strengthen those neural pathways. So please talk to someone. There are support groups. There's actually a lot of support groups pertaining to imposter syndrome. And it could be relevant to the fields that you're in, to your academic institution, to your peer group, to the kind of work that you do, to the kind of activities you enjoy. There's mental health resources that are accessible and affordable, such as the ones I've already mentioned, and so much more. But why is this important? Because it helps you know A, you're not alone, B, you're supported, and C, and I would say very importantly, it validates and normalizes that you see how others. Are handling things right now. You might think everybody's doing better than you, but a lot of us are masking, myself included. I don't often show when I'm having a bad day or when I'm having a moment of self-doubt. Unless you're very close to me, you might not know it. And you might think Sogan never has an off day. That's not true. You just wouldn't know it. So know that most people that you come across are masking because we have to mask. You can't just show all of your emotions and all of your feelings. It's just kind of a cultural and societal rule. People just mask. But you don't have to always mask. And it's important to take those masks off. You know, Superman even takes off his cape sometimes. Third technique that I want you to consider is creating a self-evaluation to really think about the things that you've accomplished, the things that you're good at. Ground your judgment and really adjust your standards. And I want you to separate fact from fiction. Ask yourself, what proof do I have that I'm actually not good enough? What proof do I have that my skills aren't actually valued? What proof do I have that they are valued? What proof do I have that they are actually grounded in my accomplishments? When you do this, you remind yourself of all the things that you've done. Once I had this therapist who told me that I should create a visual representation of all of the things that I've accomplished. She told me that I should write testimonies or print them off of clients and partners that I've worked with. So when I'm having a moment of self-doubt, I can just walk into a room and see a visual representation. Did I ever do that? No. But it's something I think about often. I did, though, make art with it. I did create pockets of art around my house that remind me of this. So you can take this feedback and do what feels right for you. But maybe make some kind of visual representation of all your accomplishments and all of your successes. When you're in these moments of self-doubt, it helps to change your behavior if you can't change your thinking patterns. Here are a few more tools that you can use to challenge your imposter syndrome. One is called a reality check. So really checking these negative thoughts. If you have a thought like I don't belong here, writing down what evidence supports this, what evidence contradicts this. If you were invited to be somewhere, you probably belong. If you are invited to do a speech, a presentation, you probably belong. Normalize saying, I don't have all the facts, but I can learn. And also ask yourself and tell yourself that it's okay to ask others for help. There are a lot of people in the world that actually want to help us. Not everybody's against us. Oftentimes when you're in the state of imposter syndrome, you think the whole world is against you. And granted, you may have had some negative experiences and you may have had people that were just awful to you, but that doesn't mean everybody's like that. So getting out of that echo chamber is another way that you can seek that evidence that things aren't against you and people can see the value that you bring. And if you find yourself comparing yourself to others, normalize saying to yourself, they've had experiences I haven't. I'm learning. They've had opportunities I haven't. I'm working towards it. It's really important for us to not use toxic positivity and not feel grief and not mourn, maybe missed opportunities, missed resources. But it's also important to remind yourselves that you could start now. You could look for opportunities and resources now, it's never too late. It's also essential at this point for me to note that stress also amplifies imposture thinking. So mindfulness is another way to seek support. One way you could start doing that, especially in these coming weeks, is spend time in nature. The weather is definitely warming up. Maybe do some breath work in nature before and after work, staying in your car if you don't feel comfortable getting out of your car for whatever reason, putting on a meditation, a visualization when you're parked, doing some kind of creative exercise, being cognizant of how much time you spend online, and just really asking yourself and really doing this evaluation often, is the environment that you're in supporting your impostor feelings or is it going against it? Do you need to implement healthy boundaries with people because they are contributing to your negative self-talk? Do you need to take time away? Are you spending too much time away and isolating? And do you need more time with like-minded people that are gonna push you out of this imposter syndrome? This is all really important. We hope that you enjoyed this segment of Wellbeing Wednesdays with Sogand. We hope that it provided you with knowledge that you can implement tools and that you can utilize these resources to help with feelings of impostor syndrome. You know that saying practice makes perfect. Just know that trying any of these resources and staying consistent with them can reduce the intensity of the impostor feelings that you feel, the duration of how long they last, and it can prevent behavior avoidance. Remember that when you feel that you're not enough and when you are isolating, you're likely also canceling plans, not putting yourself out there, not going out and achieving that which you know you deserve and places that you know you belong. We didn't talk about this much tonight, but it's very researched and very relatable. Self-isolation takes you away from all of the resources and all the tools that could help you. And so try to make way for yourself to not isolate. Utilize these resources, utilize the help that's out there, and don't avoid the opportunities and support because there are people that do want to hear you out, and there are people that can really relate to you. I'm signing off now, and I look forward to catching you again very soon at the next segment of Well Being Wednesdays with Sogand. And be kind to yourself with that imposter syndrome. Good night.