Crafting Positive Paths for the Cold Months

Have you ever wondered why our minds tend to cling so fiercely to negativity?  Discover how our brains are wired for survival, leading us to focus on negative narratives, and learn how to flip the script by building new, positive neural pathways. Drawing from my own journey with the "52 Lists" books, I share practical insights on how simple list-making can transform your internal dialogue and help you embrace the beauty around you, even on the darkest winter days.

Tune in to learn how to change the narrative within your mind, breaking free from the endless loop of negative thoughts. With actionable steps and personal anecdotes, this episode is your guide to a more mindful and joyful life, helping you find warmth and light in the heart of winter.

To learn more, go to mycreateharmony.com

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:06

Welcome back to the Create Harmony podcast. So you've arrived at a place where we really pay attention to the good things that are happening all around us and we like to celebrate everyday joys. These are little things that we might miss in the busyness of life, and we get our inspiration from the changes we see in nature. This is a place where we celebrate creativity and introspection, but don't worry, everyone is welcome to join in, so you can find your place right here and take a few minutes to lift your spirits. Okay, so this is episode 111, and I'm your host, sally Burlington, and you have tuned in right in the middle of our winter well-being series. So what does winter well-being mean? That means that during winter, we shift our focus to things that are snuggly, things that are cozy, things that make us feel warm in our spirit While the days are short and dark and cold. We really focus in on things that help reset us and restore us, and we try to put a lot of winter self-care. We put a lot of decluttering, we put a lot of ways to think differently in order to celebrate the darker days of the year. So the things we've talked about so far were how to make joy more accessible. We've talked about the concept of house hushing. We've discussed Ray Klett and how to host the very best small group gatherings, how to incorporate a little self-renewing practice into your home something that you can do right at home and how to change the narrative. So if you missed any of those discussions, you can go right back and check them out.

Speaker 2: 1:48

So for today's discussion, we're going to extend the conversation about changing the narrative, and what do I mean by that phrase? So last week we talked about the fact that our brains are really prone to focus on negative narratives, negative things. This is a defense mechanism that we used our ancestors, I guess, used to avoid danger. And listen, I said last week I'm going to say it again avoiding danger is really important, but sometimes we get so focused on that that we forget to embrace all of the wonderful things that are going on around us. So, and not only that, oftentimes, if you're like me and maybe you're not, but if you're like me sometimes my negative narratives don't just apply to danger that's out in the world, but it applies to what I'm saying to myself, right inside my own head, and, without even realizing it, I'm surrounding myself with negative messages and negative thoughts. That's the refrain that's playing inside my head all day long. So you know we're going to take a moment today to think about the impact of listening to those harsh criticisms and those harsh words all day long. If you set a timer, I'm going to challenge you. Just set a timer on your phone for five minutes and then just go about your day, go about your regular activities, and at the end of five minutes, if you took a look back at what your thoughts had been, I bet you and I would both be surprised if I did this. I would be surprised at how much of what goes on in my head is negative. But the question is, how do you stop that process? So the best way to change the narrative in our brains is to put new habits there that then build new neural pathways, and this is retraining your brain to gravitate towards more uplifting thought processes. So in last week's episode I made a few suggestions about some habits you might want to add and some processes of retraining your brain, and in some of those suggestions we talked about some lists that you could make. And let me tell you what happened after that.

Speaker 2: 3:52

I have this bookcase in my office and it has lots of different books and on that bookcase I had this little collection of books that's from the 52 lists category. So these books came out. I looked at the date and it said sometime, maybe 2015. So almost about a decade ago, and I don't know how long I've had them, but it's been a while and they were just stacked up on my shelf. They've rarely been opened. I've never made any lists in them, I've never done anything with them, but for some reason I noticed them this week and I got them out and revisited the concept.

Speaker 2: 4:30

So here's what 52 lists books are about. The first one is called literally 52 lists and I bet you can't guess how they arrived at the number 52. Well, it's because there are 52 weeks in the year. So the idea is that you would make a list each week in this book and their prompts at the top. We're going to talk about that in a minute. And then there's some different areas, more topical areas. So I own the regular 52 lists book and 52 lists for happiness and 52 lists for togetherness and again, I had not written in any of them. I just put them on the shelf and they were looking pretty and that was nice.

Speaker 2: 5:12

So I'm revisiting them now and I'm going to challenge myself to try to make some lists in order to retrain my brain, to try to make some lists in order to retrain my brain. So I wanted to share just a little bit of something that was in the introduction that I thought was an interesting thought. It says the act of list making is such an essential part of our everyday lives whether we jot down those lists on paper or create plans in our minds, from scribbling down daily tasks, mapping out lifelong goals or tallying up our top 10 favorite songs so many of our inner desires and thoughts are revealed through the lists we make. So I thought that was really compelling and it makes you feel like, okay, yes, I can do this, I'm going to retrain my brain to focus on some more positive things. So what are some examples of these lists? I'm going to give you some examples.

Speaker 2: 6:08

So one of the lists says list the ways you love to have fun. Okay, so if I were going to list some ways that I love to have fun I mean, you've heard me talk before about the fact that I love jigsaw puzzles, I love reading, I love time with my family and friends. Those are some things that I would write down if I were going to make that list right now today. So here's another one. List the ways you can rejuvenate your space. Okay, this one's a little harder. How would I rejuvenate my space If I were talking about my office? I would maybe tidy up my desk a little bit Does that fall into the category of rejuvenate? And I would maybe light a candle. These are kind of small things. Maybe your list of how you're going to rejuvenate would have more elaborate plans, but that's my list. So list your best qualities. If I were going to make a list of my best qualities, hmm, I would say that I like to focus on joy and sometimes I am caring and compassionate about the people around me. I don't know. Those are some to start.

Speaker 2: 7:20

So list things that make your spirit feel free. Oh, wow, that one's good. A good night's sleep helps make my spirit feel free. Spending time with friends makes my spirit feel free. You've probably got lots of ideas in your head as I'm reading these aloud. Things that make me feel peaceful enough time on the calendar. One of the things that really makes me feel peaceful, I was about to say, is when I have a day that I don't have any appointments, that I have certainly have things to do long to-do list but I have the flexibility to put those things in the order that I want. That makes me feel more peaceful. So you get the feeling of what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 8:05

There are all these different kinds of lists that I could be making and it's I mean I don't know why I haven't used this before, because I'm it's not hard. You just make one little list each week, One of those things. You go to that page I mean I think there are maybe you know, 15 little blanks on the page and write them down. How long does that take? I think I can do it. So I'll keep you posted on how that goes and hopefully, maybe you want to try to find a 52 lists book for yourself and get some lists made, or maybe you just want to make a list of some lists that you like.

Speaker 2: 8:44

So now let's circle back around to the concept of changing the narrative. Maybe you're going to have an experience, just like I did, where you're going to discover something. If you look around the world around you, you might discover something that was right under your nose, that could bring you more joy, that you hadn't even really noticed and you can take those small steps. This is not an overhaul to your whole life, but just one tiny new habit or one tiny new thought process to change your week, and each step you take can move you in the direction of peace and joy. So for our closing today, I'm going to read something to you from a small book that's called the Little Book of Happiness.

Speaker 2: 9:25

You can tell that I really like books, so I'm going to embrace another book that's in my office, the Little Book of Happiness, and it goes like this Remember that you can start right now. Don't expect happiness to always find you, or even hang around waiting for everything to fall into place. Happiness is a choice. Stop looking for it and start living it. Thank you, and I thought that was just such a beautiful sentiment and so inspiring, so hopefully that will inspire you to look for some happiness right where you are. So thanks for joining us today as we considered some additional ideas about how to use lists as a way to find peace and joy. Instead of using to-do lists, we're going to use happiness lists. Hopefully that gave you some new ways to think about how you think, and maybe you'll come back next week as we continue the conversation on winter well-being. We'd love to have you back Until next time. Peace, time, peace.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Thank you.