Marathon Recap & Lessons Learned

In this episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes of my recent Santa Rosa Marathon experience. It was a race filled with surprises, challenges, and powerful insights that extend far beyond the finish line. Join me as I share:

* Why I decided to be proud of myself before the race even began

* How I turned "never give up" from a catchphrase into a race strategy

* The unexpected ways I found to celebrate my progress

* Valuable lessons I discovered in both triumph and struggle

* My secret for avoiding post-race letdown

Whether you're a runner, working on your relationship with food, or chasing any personal goal, these five lessons will resonate with your journey. Tune in for a dose of real talk, practical wisdom, and motivation that will inspire you to keep pushing forward, no matter what finish line you're aiming for.

Links Referenced:

Chasing Boston: My Marathon Quest

Marathon Training Insights

How to Take Care of Yourself After a Big Event

Click here to see a photo of me approaching the finish line - living out "never give up."

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Binge Breakthrough, a podcast designed to help you finally break through the barriers that keep you stuck, feeling out of control around food. I'm Master Certified Coach James Hilker, and I want you to know that no matter how long you've been struggling or what you've tried, food freedom is possible. And I'm here to show you that. After years of therapy, eating disorder treatment, restrictive diet, and reading all the books, I would still stop in the onic and obvious cycle of restricting thinking until I was able to see it all from a new perspective that changed everything. Each week I will share the strategies, tools, and mindset that allowed me to overcome my decades-long battle with binge eating. Your journey to body trust starts now. Let's dive in. Hello, trusted listener. Welcome to Binge Breakthrough. I consider you a trusted listener because I trust that you are listening to this podcast for a reason. I trust that you are going to hear something today that is insightful and impactful on your personal journey. So today I am going to talk a little bit about what happened at the recent Santa Rosa Marathon. If you've been listening for a while or following along for a while, you know I've been on a journey with an ultimate goal to qualify for the Boston Marathon. And I was hoping that the Santa Rosa Marathon this year in August of 2024 would be the place and the race where I would finally qualify. I will give you a spoiler alert. I did not qualify for Boston. However, everything else that I wanted for this race, I absolutely achieved. So what I wanted to do today was just tell you a little bit about the race, about uh the goals, about how I uh what happened for me during the race, how I processed it, and really the lessons, like the five key lessons that I am taking from this race. And I also will uh in some areas bring them back to the journey to becoming a more calm, connected, and confident eater. Some of you may be listening to this podcast specifically for the food and the eating aspect of it. Others of you might be listening just because you want to hear about what happened. You're curious, you want to know how the marathon was. So I my goal is to give you a little bit of both in this episode so that you can find something in your own journey, whatever goals you are working on for yourself, that you can find something here that you can apply to yourself and to your life. So the Santa Rosa Marathon was beautiful. I highly recommend if anyone is considering doing any of their races. They have a 5K and a 10K on Saturday. And then on Sunday, there's a half marathon and a marathon. They also have what's called the double barrel challenge, where I think there's, I don't know if it's a special medal or something, but if you do one of the races on Saturday as well as one of the races on Sunday, I only, not only, but I the one event that I did over the weekend was the marathon on Sunday. Uh Santa Rosa is uh kind of in the heart of wine country in California. So there are a lot of vineyards around. And this course actually started in downtown Santa Rosa. We ran kind of through the streets for the first mile or more, and then we got on a small kind of uh bike path near that went alongside a creek. And then we were out into kind of a more rural part of uh the area in and we basically ran past and through several vineyards. It was so beautiful. We even ran through the DeLoach Winery barrel room around mile 10, and there were even pictures that they took at the barrel room. I believe I have a photo that um I will I'll include a link to uh my Substack post that'll have a photo of us running through the barrel room if you want to, uh if you want to check that out. So anyway, we flew out on Friday. The race was Sunday. Um, and we were there with a couple of other friends. My girlfriend and I were both uh, we both had pretty similar time goals. We were both looking to qualify for Boston. Uh, my girlfriend has been a number of times, and uh, she's just a little bit older than I am, and so her qualifying standard time is a little bit slower than mine, although she's a faster runner. So we traveled together, we had a great time. The hotel where we stayed was really close to the race area, it was close to, it was right in downtown Santa Rosa. We could walk everywhere, and uh it was great. We really enjoyed ourselves, we relaxed, uh, we enjoyed some good food, we stayed off our feet and um just had a great time. The shortest distance to walk from our hotel over to the park where all of the race festivities took place was actually through a shopping mall. And on Friday night, we went, walked through the mall to get to a restaurant where we were gonna have dinner, and we walked past a place that was called Mini Cat Town. And essentially, it was a store in the mall that had at least 20, if not more, kittens available for adoption inside this store, but it's all set up as like a little mini town just full of kittens. So it was open. Um, once you went into the space, there were tower, cat towers, cat toys, cat tunnels, and couches. And you could essentially go into the space, pay for 15 minutes to just hang out and pet and socialize with the kittens. So we loved looking into the windows at this place, and we decided we were gonna go back on Sunday after the race. And this was gonna be something we were gonna look forward to petting, uh, petting the cats and the kittens. I have always loved cats since I was a little girl. And we just loved going by every time we would walk by on our way from being in downtown over to our hotel, we'd walk past the cat place and look inside. And um, that was really just a fun, really fun part of it. So race day shows up and we were the weather was weather was beautiful. Uh, our plan was to, um, my girlfriend and I, we were gonna start together and just try to see if we could stay with each other as long as possible, but uh at the same time, kind of each do our own races. We had a pace band that would tell us based on this course and the terrain, what sort of pace we needed to run for the various miles. It would vary it based on the terrain, so that if you were going downhill, you could run a faster pace. If you were going uphill, a slower pace. It's what they called an even effort pace band so that you could run an even effort over the entire 26 miles and still get to your ultimate goal time. So my Boston qualifying standard time was three hours and 50 minutes. I thought that I would probably take at least a 345, probably 346, maybe in order to actually get in. Uh, I'll put a link in the show notes to for anyone who doesn't fully understand how the whole Boston qualifying, um qualifying for the Boston Boston Marathon, how it works, I'll put a link to an article that I wrote about it. Not everybody who runs the standard time actually gets in. It's there are a few different factors based on overall capacity and the number of people that sign up. So my goal was really a 345, thinking it would take me a 345 probably to be able to register for the Boston Marathon. Although technically the Boston qualifying time is for me, for my age group, is three hours and 50 minutes. So we started running. I was running right behind her, and uh, we were pretty much right on pace. And probably somewhere between miles five and six, I just felt like it was a little harder than I wanted it to be at mile five or six. Um, if you ask any experienced marathoner uh what one of the most important things about doing a running a successful marathon, they will tell you don't go out too hard or too fast. And it should not feel hard, particularly in the first, um, even in the first 10 miles or so should feel pretty doable. And it didn't feel hard, but I wasn't quite in the doable area. So I started slowing down a little bit. And one of my goals, so we had uh I had purchased for motivation, I had purchased some uh temporary tattoos. And so I had on my on my hands, I had tattooed be brave on one hand and courage on the other hand. I also then on my arms, I had uh I had my watch on my left hand and on that arm, on the inside of the arm, kind of just past my watch band, I had a temporary tattoo that said, um, you've got this. And then on my right arm, where I had, I had my pace band on my right wrist, and on my right arm, on the inside of my arm, uh I had the temporary tattoo that said, never give up. And so I was like, okay, these are these are my messages that I am giving to myself. And so I knew anytime I would look down at my watch, my pace band, I would have these reminders for myself to be brave, to have courage, to never give up and that you've got this. So I started slowing down a little bit and it felt like what my body was going to need. I also going into this race, I had decided if I did not qualify for Boston, I knew that was my number one goal. But even if I didn't, I did not want to give up. And this is why I chose the never give up tattoo. I wanted to see how close I can get. If I can't hit 350, how close can I get? I know in the past, and this is where the food thing really comes in. I know so many times in the past I have given up. I have thought to myself, I can't do this. I can't handle this. Those words would show up in my brain so many times before I would binge. I can't handle this feeling. I can't handle it. I have to go do something. I have to take the edge off. I have to go eat. I have to disconnect from myself. And so I know that is a place that my brain likes to go. It likes to give up and think I can't do this. I can't handle it. And so I really wanted to not operate under that kind of giving up mentality. And so I, and I really am so proud to say that I did not. I knew that it was getting harder. I may not have been able to run the pace that where we started, but I was like, okay, we can slow down a little bit, but we're not giving up. And there were a few times that I would think, okay, I'm probably not going to qualify, but what else can I do? What is possible? I am not going to give up. And the way this shows up for me with running, as far as when I think I can't do it, I can't handle it, is I just walk or I really, really slow down. So I wanted to make sure that that situation was going to be different. So I did slow down a little bit, but then I was able to keep it right around just probably under nine-minute pace, something like that. And I was able to keep it pretty steady. I had some times where I felt pretty bad. I had some times where I felt pretty good, but I was really just focusing on a number of different things. I was focusing on the terrain. It was beautiful, the vineyards, the people. Uh, when somebody would pass me, I would try to see, is there something I can borrow from them? So I might look at their cadence, I might look at their form, I might see, are there any little reminders here for me? Kind of like it was almost like little mini bursts of inspiration. Is there something that I can see that they're doing that I might try on for myself? And I would try a few things on, and sometimes it would feel pretty good, sometimes it would work, sometimes no, not so much. But you can also use this method with food, with your journey with food and the type of eater that you want to become. If you're out to eat with somebody, you're at a party with somebody, and you notice that they're doing something with food or they're showing up in a way with food that's really different, or like something like you would love to do, you can see, is there something I could borrow from this person? Kind of like I did when somebody would pass me. A lot of times the answer was no. So, you know, I wasn't trying to think, oh, they have all the answers. They're running better than I am. I need to do what they're doing. It wasn't that, but it was more of like, is there any just little bit of inspiration I can get from this person? Any clues, any hints for something that might work for me? So you can kind of check in with that for yourself. I also love to remind myself when things get hard, when things don't feel good, it won't always feel this way. And that reminder helps me to be more open to it. One of the things that I do when I'm raising, particularly when I'm running, is I love to pray for other people. I now have a, gosh, it's almost a ritual of I reach out on social media, I ask for prayer requests before my big races. And the number of prayer requests that I receive, whether it's through a direct message, through a text, through reaching out to me in some way, I always have a big list of people to pray for. And I look at this list the night before my race, I look at the list the morning of my race. And as I run, a lot of times what I'm doing is I'm running, but I'm actually praying while I'm running. And this helps me so much to keep my mind off of the physical pain and discomfort that I'm experiencing and be able to lift somebody else up. So that is so helpful for me to kind of go back and forth between, okay, I'm thinking about my body, I'm thinking about my race, my form, what I'm doing, people who are passing me, I'm thinking about all of this. Or then I would go back to, okay, now I'm thinking about my prayer request and this person. And when I'm experiencing something that feels really painful, I just think about some of these situations that I'm praying for that are so heavy. And I think, gosh, my pain will be over soon. This person's pain will not be over soon. It puts things into perspective and it helps take the focus off of my pain and put it on lifting somebody else up. So that can be really helpful too. Even when you're dealing with your own, if you're in the middle of an urge, if you're in the middle of a lot of pain of your own around food or around your body, reach out to somebody else. Let them know I'm thinking about you. Send words of encouragement. Let somebody know that you're thinking about them, what they mean to you. If you are a person that prays, send a prayer for them, anything to take your mind off of your own challenges and discomforts. So then I kept running and I kept, I kept really checking in and realizing, wow, I feel so much better than I did in Eugene. So I ran a marathon, I ran the Eugene marathon at the end of April. And in this race, this weekend, I could feel significantly feel the difference in what I was capable of this time versus Eugene. And when even when I got to the end, I really didn't feel really bad until the last mile. And so just comparing where I had been to where I was now was so amazing. I could really see and notice the difference. So you can do this also with your own progress with food. You can look back and say, okay, what was this like for me a handful of months ago? What was this like for me before? If you have been taking consistent action towards becoming the person you want to be, the eater that you want to be, you will notice progress. This is where I am so glad that I had the goal to get see just how close can I get to the 350? How much better I wanted to do better than I did in Eugene. I wanted to feel better so I could really notice that progress and not make it all about the number one goal and the only goal of qualifying for Boston. So at the end of the day, I finished. So I finished the race. The last mile felt really challenging. I did slow down a little bit in that last mile. I had these visions of myself of running faster in the last mile. I had so many training runs where I was able to really pick it up and run faster in that last mile. And I really wanted that to be the case in this race. And that did not happen. But when I got to that finish line, I knew I had no regrets. And I got to the finish line and I just cried and I cried. And my husband was there and he put his hand on my back and he didn't know if these were tears of sadness or disappointment, or sometimes I do cry at a finish line because you know it's just been a lot of um output. And so he just stood there with his hand on my back and I told him, I said, I am so proud of myself. I said, These are tears of just leaving it all out there, but I am so proud of myself. So, no, I did not qualify for Boston. I ended up running a 353, I think it was 353.06. My time was 13 minutes faster than what I ran in Eugene. And I felt so much better at this time. So much progress, so many wins. And no, I didn't qualify for Boston. Yes, that was my number one goal, but there are so many other things that happened that I'm okay with it. I'm okay with the results, and I am ready to keep going. I still want to qualify for Boston. It still is my goal and I will go after it. So it might not happen. I won't be running Boston next year, but maybe next year will be the year that I qualify. Anything is possible. So here are the five lessons that I am taking away from this race. Number one, decide ahead of time to be proud of yourself. I did this. I was like, I am going to be proud no matter what, no matter what I run, no matter what my time is, no matter what happens, I am going to be proud. I am going to put in the effort. I am not going to give up, and I'm going to be proud of everything that I did to get to that day. It would have been easy for me to be disappointed in not reaching that goal of qualifying for Boston. But I decided ahead of time to focus on the process and not the outcome. And because of that, I was so proud of everything that I had done. If I had made it all about the time, I would miss the growth and the gains. And I likely would not be as motivated to keep going and to try again. I could easily see a place where I would just see it as a failure. Lesson number two, never give up. I repeated this to myself so many times on the course. I had that tattoo on my arm. I was thinking, no regrets. I did not want to look back and think, oh, I wonder, could I have done this? Could I have done that? I'm so glad that I decided that if I didn't reach my my Boston qualifying goal, even if I wasn't going to hit 250, 350, I still wanted to see how close I could get. And I wanted to really see an improvement over Eugene. Number three, celebrate your progress. For one, it's more fun this way. And if you look for the progress, you can find it always. Lesson number four, look for the lessons in any experience. If you have a food experience where you perhaps, whether you eat exactly as you wanted to eat or you didn't, in any eating experience, you can look for lessons. It's how you grow. My biggest lesson from this race, honestly, is to keep doing what I'm doing. There's a lot to repeat in the future. If I have another training cycle and I keep doing what I'm doing and I keep repeating and I keep showing up for all of this consistently, I will reach my goal eventually. Lessons can be learned in repeating what is working or looking at what isn't working and what needs to be changed. Both are valuable. And lesson number five, have something to look forward to. So this showed up for me in several ways. We kept talking about after the race, Sunday, after we were done at the race, but still in Santa Rosa, there were three things we wanted to do that afternoon. We wanted to go hug, not hug, but pet and play with those kittens in the mall. We wanted to go for post-race ice cream, which is definitely a tradition. And we also wanted to do a wine tasting. We were in this wine area. We wanted to do a wine tasting. Ahead of time, before the race, we went to three different ice cream places just to scope it out, to see what we wanted. We kept looking in the windows of the cat place. We scoped out a couple of places we could go to do wine tastings that were really close to our hotel. So we knew exactly what we were looking forward to after the race. When we came home this week, we're doing a celebration tea with all of our friends who helped support us to get to this race. So that's happening tomorrow. By the time you listen to this, it will have already happened. But as and then I'm already, we're already talking about what's happening next year, something to look forward to. I'm gonna go back to the Eugene Marathon next April and give it another shot. That's gonna be my next attempt at qualifying for Boston. So looking forward to things. It helps you to have something to look forward to. It helps prevent some of the post-event letdown. As I kind of wrap this all up and look at this, if um you're listening to this podcast and you're not on my mailing list, I'll include a I'll include a link to an article that I wrote about how to care for yourself after a big event. This is an article that I wrote before I left, really thinking about over the years, I've really developed a process of what I do to care for myself after I do something big like this. And having something to look forward to is one of those, one of those tips and keys to really honor what you've done and look forward to what's coming next. All right, so here's my top five lessons. Decide ahead of time to be proud of yourself anytime you were going after a goal. Number two, never give up. Number three, celebrate your progress. Number four, look for the lessons. And number five, have something to look forward to. So these are the five lessons that I am taking away from my most recent marathon. I am also taking impeccable care of myself this week, giving myself space to rest and to recover, which is very different and something I haven't done in the past. I'm also really noticing I'm having some big time hunger this week. As I'm as I'm recording this, it's only a couple of days after the race. It makes sense that I would have a lot of hunger. In the past, I think this would have scared me. I would have been trying to very much control my eating, not eat too much. And there have been so many times after an event where I have ended up binging. So having more connection with overall my needs, my need for rest, my need for more food, really connecting and having things to look forward to, as well as knowing I'm not done with this goal. So we'll be back in Eugene next April, and I will continue on until it's something I just don't want to do anymore. So that is my recap for you. Before we wrap up, I would like to invite you to an upcoming workshop. It's called Can You Really Grow Inside Your Comfort Zone? This workshop is going to be with me and my special guest, Adam Kawalek, who is the host of the Inside the Comfort Zone podcast. And during this workshop, we're going to be challenging the notion that growth only happens through discomfort. We're going to explore how embracing joy and ease can actually accelerate your personal development. So this is coming up on September 4th. And whether you're tired of pushing yourself to exhaustion or simply curious about a gentler path to success, this workshop is for you. I will have a link to register in the show notes so you can discover a new approach to achieving your goals. If you happen to be listening to this after September 4th, when the workshop is already over, the link in the show notes will take you to the replay so you can make sure that you don't miss a thing. I'll see you there.

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If you like what you're hearing on the podcast, you will want to be sure to follow me on Substack. There you'll find additional articles, discussion, and the library of all the podcast episodes to help you on your journey with food. You can also access DeepStack Workshop and a behind the scenes audio and video that will help you understand and overcome your food. Find me under the peaceful feeder at janepoker.com. I'll see you there.