How to Handle Overwhelm

Feeling like there's too much to do and not enough time? You're not alone. 

In this episode, we dive into the world of overwhelm - why it happens, what it does to our brain, and most importantly, how to overcome it. 

Drawing from personal experiences and client success stories, I'll share practical strategies to help you break free from the paralysis of overwhelm and get into action. 

Whether you're juggling work, personal life, or both, this episode offers a roadmap to navigate those moments when everything feels like too much. 

Tune in to discover how to transform overwhelm into productive energy and reclaim control of your to-do list. It's time to say goodbye to spinning thoughts and hello to clear, focused action!

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Transcript

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Welcome to Binge Breakthrough, the podcast design to help you finally break through the barriers that keep you stuck, feeling out of control about it. I'm Master Circuit Coach James Hokker, and I want you to know that no matter how long you've been struggling or what you've tried, freedom is here to show you. Each week I will share the strategies, tools, and mindset that allowed me to overcome my decades-long battle with binge eating. Your journey to body trust starts now. Let's dive in. Hello, trusted listener. Welcome to Binge Breakthrough. I consider you a trusted listener because I trust that you are listening to this podcast for a reason. I trust that you are going to hear something today that is insightful and impactful on your journey with food. Or maybe just your journey with life and with overwhelm, because today we are talking about overwhelm. Now, I want to start with a quick backstory about the inspiration behind this podcast. So I've shared on recent episodes that I've been training for a marathon. And if you are listening to this episode as it's being released in August of 2024, I actually ran the marathon a few days ago. And next week here on the podcast, I will be sharing my post-race reflections just to share for those people who like to follow along. I also this week shared my tips for how to care for yourself after a big event in this week's blog post over on Substack. Now, if you aren't subscribed to my Substack newsletter, it's a great resource to receive insights, information, and inspiration for your journey, not only with food, but for any goal that you want to accomplish in life. So I'll be sure to put a link to sign up for that newsletter down in the show notes if you are interested. All right, back to the overwhelm story. So a couple of weeks before the marathon, my husband and I traveled to Arizona to participate in a triathlon. And we had signed up way back in February before I thought I would be running a marathon at the end of this month. And even though this triathlon in Arizona was pretty close, only two weeks away from the marathon, we decided to go ahead and go and I adjusted my approach. So instead of doing the full triathlon on Sunday, I did a training run on Saturday and I did the aquabike portion of the triathlon, which is the swim and the bike only. And then my husband did the full triathlon. So this was wonderful. It was a great approach for the process and really making sure that I was prioritizing my marathon training. And my husband and I had a great time. We were in the mountains of Arizona. It was beautiful. It was great. However, the challenge began when we got home. I was very fatigued. And this makes sense. I was at the end of a marathon training cycle, and I had also just spent hours in the car on either side of two big training and racing days. So the challenge wasn't the fatigue itself. The challenge was that I was not fully listening to and honoring what my body was telling me. Now, over the years, I've gotten so much more skilled at hearing what my body is trying to tell me in that communication. I used to be very disconnected. I did not even used to be aware of the signals and the communication from my body. And now I am a very aware. But the problem is that I don't always like what it has to say, or I just have a hard time slowing down, which continues to be my work. And I'm happy to continue to do this. And here's what's amazing: my body will continue to give me the messages when it needs to slow down. But last week, these messages from my body, they were so clear. But you know what else was clear? The very loud messages from my head telling me that I had so much to do and that I had to get it all done. Oh, we have to do this. We've got to get this done. And then we're going out of town, and we've got the race. And what about this? There was a lot going on in my head. So much to do, not enough time. This is overwhelm. It's that feeling, that sense that there's too much to do and not enough time to get it done. Now, overwhelm is a very familiar feeling for me, and I bet it is for many of you also. So let's talk about overwhelm. Let's talk about what's happening in our brains when we are feeling overwhelmed. When we're in this state of overwhelm, the brain's fear response gets activated. And what happens is that this shifts our brain's resources towards addressing the perceived threat. I've talked before in several podcast episodes about the nervous system, about what's happening in the brain. And we have this amygdala that is constantly scanning for danger. And when this danger is activated, perceived, we temporarily lose access to our prefrontal cortex. This is the thinking part of our brain, the part that's responsible for decision making and planning. So when we are overwhelmed and that amygdala is activated, that fear response is activated, we're not able to use the logical planning part of our brain effectively. Now, it's important to remember this is not your brain working against you or my brain working against me. Our brain is always trying to protect us. But what happens is in our modern world, this protective mechanism, it can sometimes make it harder for us to handle the tasks in front of us. So just know that when you are in overwhelm, this is a little bit of a the fear response in your brain is activated. It feels very threatened. So I don't know about you, but when I'm spinning in overwhelm, I don't really get anything done. And I love the description of spinning in overwhelm because it's exactly how I feel. Sometimes it's like I'm going around and around. I'm thinking the same thing. There's too much to do and not enough time. Too much to do and not enough time. I feel like it's just spinning, spinning, spinning. Can you relate? I'm guessing you probably can. My binge eating was often a direct response to my overwhelm. And it makes a lot of sense. If there is this fear response activated, I feel like there's it's all too much, it makes sense that my brain would come in and offer me a solution to try to feel better, to try to find safety when it wasn't feeling safe right now. Now, when I look back on my patterns, I had four key times when I would binge. If you struggle with binge eating, start to get curious about your own patterns. When are the primary times that you binge? So here's what they were for me. Number one, when I was tired and I simply needed rest. Number two, when I was underfueled and simply needed nourishment. Number three, when I was overwhelmed and simply needed the next step. Number four, when I was frustrated and simply needed some space to just let it be. See, the needs are actually pretty simple. And the message from the brain and the body is pretty obvious. But then the brain comes in, and if that response to a perceived threat has been food for a long time, it makes sense that that's what your brain is going to offer up to you. So if overwhelm is a familiar feeling or experience for you, let's dive into some key things that you can do to overcome. Now, I want to be really clear about one thing. It is not likely that you are going to fully overcome overwhelm and never experience it again. You are a human being. You will likely experience overwhelm again in the future. But with the information that I'm going to share, you can overcome it each time it arises. And these steps will give you a roadmap for what to do when it shows up. So you can overcome it in the moment. The more you get familiar with working with yourself, working with your brain, working with your patterns, your experiences of overwhelm will absolutely lessen. But you are a human. You will get overwhelmed sometimes. There will be times where it feels like there is too much to do and not enough time. So you can apply these steps when that happens to overcome overwhelm. All right. So here are those steps. Step number one. If you've been following me for a while, this step number one is not going to surprise you. It's awareness. You cannot change what you aren't aware of. So, what do you know about your personal experience of overwhelm? Ask yourself this question right now. What do I know? How do I even know that I'm in overwhelm? Here's how I know. This is what it sounds like. There's too much to do and not enough time. Mine feels like, how does it feel in my body? It feels like swirling, swirling around in my body and my head. I feel it in my chest. It's like there are a lot of butterflies in there. How about you? What does overwhelm sound like in your mind? What are the sentences in your head that you hear, but maybe over and over again? What are the sensations in your body? If you don't know, you can do a brief body scan to help you identify the physical sensations of overwhelm. All right, so step number one is awareness. Step number two, get out a paper and a pen. When you are swirling in an overwhelm and there is a lot going on up in your mind, it is really helpful to get it all out. Whether you do this with actual physical paper and pen or you do it with, you know, electronic to-do list or something on your computer, that is just personal preference. But get it all out. Every single thing in your mind that you think you need to get done, write it all down. Now, I want to give you a warning. This might increase your sense of overwhelm. You might write it down and look at the list and be like, oh my gosh, see, I there is too much to do. So sometimes that happens. Seeing it all in front of you can confirm that there is a lot going on. So just know this is part of the process, and it's important to have it all out of your head and onto either real paper or electronic paper so that you can see it and then decide what we're gonna do with all of that. So we've got to get it out of our head. That's step number two. Step number three, we need to prioritize the list. So look at your list and prioritize it. What must get done first? What is the very next thing that must get done? Now, are there things on this list that you would like to get done, but you actually know that they can wait? I've got several of those things right now. I would love to do these other things. There's other things I would love to get done. And I keep having to remind myself those can wait. So what you do with those is you move them to another list so you don't have to see them. So you can, and if you put them on another list, then you won't forget them, but they're somewhere else. So you can have another paper list, you can have another list on your computer, however you like to manage your lists, but move them elsewhere and then cross them out. If they don't need to get done right now, put them on another list, get rid of them off of your current list. The other thing you can do as you're looking through your list, you're prioritizing, ask yourself, are there things on this list that I can seek help with? Can I ask somebody to help me with this? If the answer is yes, write down the name of the person who you want to ask for help with, write it down next to the list. Now, if you're somebody who has a hard time asking for help, that's gonna be a whole nother podcast episode. We can't go into that right now. But if somebody's name comes to mind, write it down, even if you have the thought, oh, but I don't want to bother them, I don't know, just write it down. All right, that's step number three, prioritize your list. Step number four is ask for help. So if you've identified anything that you can ask for help with, even if it is the most simple of things, get those requests for support and help out right away. What I love to do when I'm asking for help is I love to do a couple of things. Number one, I like to really give people, I ask for help and I also like to give them permission to say no. Sometimes people might feel like, oh, they did she ask, I have to say yes, I don't want to upset her, that type of thing. So I like to give them the ability to say yes and permission or the ability to say no. I also like to remind myself, a lot of people love to help. It is often a gift to ask somebody else to help you with something. Now, I like to assume or to trust that somebody else has the power and the ability to say no if it is not the right time, the right fit, or they simply don't have the space in their own personal bandwidth. And I do like to remember, oh yeah, this might actually be a gift for them to help me out. It is not just for me. Sometimes it's really helpful for them too. So that's step number four, ask for help. Step number five, pick the very next thing. So now you have on your list prioritized in order, whether you rewrite your list or sometimes I like to just put numbers one through whatever on my list of the very next thing. So pick the very next thing, the one thing on your list that is the absolute priority. You can take that thing and you can break it down into three to five of the most simple steps ever. So let's say this is a very real example from this week. The very next thing on my list is to get my podcast done. Now, that is way too big of an item for my brain that already feels like everything is overwhelming. If I just wrote down complete podcast, that would feel like too big. My brain would not like that. So, what I want to do is break it down into very small doable chunks. So, this might look like brainstorm ideas. Now, I personally keep ideas going all the time. So for me, it's really just pick one of the ideas that I've already brainstormed, pick a topic. So, brain maybe brainstorm ideas if I haven't already brainstormed. Pick a topic, create the outline, fill in the details, proofread, and edit my out my finalized outline, record the podcast, schedule the podcast, all the details that I need to do. Then I can just start with the very first one. Okay, all I've got to do is brainstorm. All I've got to do is pick a topic that feels doable to my brain. So that's your next step. Pick the very next thing. Now, number six is get into action. Now, here's the number one tip I want you to know about overwhelm. You can't be in overwhelm and in action at the same time. I'm gonna repeat that. You cannot be in overwhelm and action at the same time. So when you notice overwhelm, ask yourself this simple question. What is the easiest thing that I can do in this moment to make progress towards something that matters today? Sometimes when we're in overwhelm, we pick the easy things, but they don't necessarily matter. They're kind of the either the lower impact things or the things that can honestly wait. So this is why we want to prioritize. We want to know what is important, what matters, and then what is the easiest thing I can do. When you remind yourself, if I'm in action, I am not in overwhelm, that is powerful to motivate you to get you into action. Think about it. When in the event that you're like, oh yes, I can be in action and in overwhelm at the same time, I want to argue that you can't. My experience personally and the experience of many people that I have coached is that when you're actually doing the thing, you are not in overwhelm. It's the moments in between when we're not in action that the overwhelm comes in, that we find ourselves eating, procrastinating, scrolling, watching Netflix. It's that time that the overwhelm comes in. So if we can keep ourselves in action by making the list, getting it all down, prioritizing, doing the smallest little thing to stay in action, you can also use the Pomodoro technique. You can work for 25 minutes and then take a break for five. Stay in action. All right, so that's step number six. Step number seven, acknowledge your progress. Take some time, celebrate yourself and your progress along the way. There can be a lot of relief as you see and you acknowledge yourself making progress towards your list, towards the things you know need to happen. Acknowledge your progress. And finally, step number eight is to reflect and adjust. So after a period of overwhelm, it can be really helpful to look back and see what conditions created the overwhelm. Were you expecting too much of yourself? Was someone else expecting too much of you? Were you doing like I was and ignoring the signals from your body, which means I was expecting too much of myself. I was listening to the signals, but I was like, no, no, no, I've got too much to do. But when I really sat down, I wrote out my list, I figured out, okay, what do I absolutely have to get done before I leave? I realized there was actually a lot more space and time than I gave myself credit for. I just had to be willing to prioritize and tell myself the truth that several of these things could wait. And the most important thing for me was to honor my body and to rest and to recover. All right. So some common challenges that we want to be aware of that you might face when trying to overcome overwhelm. Number one, perfectionism. So how do you overcome perfectionism? Remind yourself, done is better than perfect. Done is better than perfect. Progress over perfection. Let's keep moving, keep going. Done is better than perfect. Perhaps B minus work, if you've heard this. Distractions can also be a common challenge when trying to overcome overwhelm. One of the things that can be Useful is what I mentioned previously, that Pomodoro technique, where you have 25 minutes of focus with a five minute break. So during these 25 minutes, turn off all your notifications. Turn your do not disturb on on your phone. Don't allow other distractions to come in. Be completely focused for 25 minutes. You can even set the timer and then go take a break and then come back. You can play around with how much time you use, also. 25 and five is recommended, but it really is individual in terms of how you work best. And the third common challenge that comes up for a lot of people with overwhelm is negative self-talk. So how you can address this is really reaching out for encouragement, support, whether it's to a partner, a friend, a loved one, that, and you can let them know what's going on. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. I have this to do. Hey, you know what? I'm working on this. And can I, I'm gonna reach out and let I do this sometimes with some friends. Like, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna do this thing, and I'm gonna text you when I'm done. So there's a little bit of accountability there. Now, I don't do this so that, you know, they can get mad at me if I don't do it. It's just more, oh, somebody else knows that I'm gonna do this and I want to be able to report back in. And I want to be able to get that, like, yeah, good job, that kind of celebratory um encouragement at the end. So for some people, this is really helpful. They're able to take action when they know that positive reinforcement is coming at the end. So you can report in with each other and celebrate making progress together, especially if you've got somebody else in your life where you're both kind of trying to make progress and working towards things. This can be a really useful thing as long as you don't beat yourself up if you don't do the thing. All right, those are the steps to overcome overwhelm. Let's recap. Number one, awareness. Number two, get out paper and pen. Number three, prioritize your list. Number four, ask for help. Number five, pick the very next thing. Number six, get into action. Number seven, acknowledge your progress. And number eight, reflect and adjust. These are the exact steps I took last week as I experienced my own personal overwhelm. I generally find a lot of relief in dwindling my list down to the most important items, and then further down still to the simplest to-do steps and then getting into action. When those simple steps feel doable, then my brain calms down. It's like, okay, all I have to do is this next thing. Then I can get into action and let my brain see, ah, okay, we're making progress. This might be okay. So, how about you? What are your best solutions for overwhelm? I would love to hear them. Try one of these steps this week and let me know how it goes. You can communicate with me over on Substack. You there's a comments feature in this podcast in the podcast show notes where you can go in and let me know. Give me your solutions. Let me know how these go for you. You can share your experiences, you can share your best solutions for overwhelm with me. I would love to hear them. All right, that's what I have for you today. Be sure to tune in next week, where I'm going to be back to give you an update on how the marathon went and what I learned. I'll see you then. Thank you for listening to Binge Breakthrough. You can find the show notes and any resources mentioned at bingebreakthrough.com. If you like this episode, subscribe to have future episodes delivered to you each Wednesday. And remember, your five star rating and review will help others discover these life changing concepts. See you next week.