What Future Are You Creating?

How often do you think about your future? For the vast majority of us, your future is coming, no matter what. The question becomes - what type of future are you creating for yourself? There are two types of futures: the default future and the created future.

Join me as we explore the difference between the default future and the created future. Discover the primary excuses that keep us in the default future and how to overcome them. Gain practical tips on how to envision a created future for yourself.

Start thinking about your future today. What you do today and how you show up today is a seed that gets planted for tomorrow. You don't have to be perfect, but if you don't take steps to change what isn't working in your life you will continue to create more of it.

If you want to support in envisioning a created future or stepping away from a default future, let's chat.

Define Your Food Freedom Workshop

Have you ever defined what food freedom actually means for YOU? Knowing what you don't want isn't enough. It's important to know what you are working towards and to make sure that your definition is supporting you, not sabotaging you. 

Join me live October 5th - Save your spot.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Binge Breakthrough, the podcast designed to help you finally break through the barriers that keep you stuck, feeling out of control about food. I'm Master Certified Coach Jane Poker, and I want you to know that no matter how long you've been struggling or what you've tried, food freedom is possible. And I'm here to show you how. After years of therapy, eating first treatment, restrictive diet, and reading all the books, I will still stop in the audience optic cycle of restricting thinking and how I was able to see it all from a new perspective. Each week I will share the strategies, tools, and mindset that allowed me to overcome my decades-long battle with binge eating. Your journey to body trust starts now. Let's dive in. Hello, trusted listener. Welcome to Binge Breakthrough. I consider you a trusted listener because I trust that you are listening to this episode for a reason. I trust that you're going to hear something today that is insightful and impactful for your journey with food. So today we're going to talk about the future. I heard this concept on a podcast I was listening to not too long ago. It was actually a triathlon specific podcast, but they started talking about the future and asking the question: what type of future are you creating? And as I was listening to this podcast and I was listening to this concept, I thought, oh, I love this so much. Now, the concept I'm going to talk about is about the two types of futures that we can create. We're always creating the future. The question is, what type of future are you creating? Are you creating a default future or are you creating a created future? Either way, we are always creating our future experience. The question is, which one are we creating? Now I love this concept. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could give this proper attribution. I did a little bit of brief searching before hitting record on this podcast, and I didn't come up with an answer for who to give attribution to for this concept. So I just want you to know that the idea of a default future versus a created future is not my, I did not come up with this idea, but I'm sharing it with you so that perhaps you might be able to think about your own future in a different way. So let's let's look into this. Let's dive into the default future versus the created future. It's really pretty straightforward. The default future is exactly as it stands, as it sounds. If you keep doing what you're doing, you are going to get a default results. So think about something in your life right now. Let's talk about food since this is a podcast about binge eating, about sometimes those times when we eat more food than we would like. If we keep doing what we're doing, if we keep doing what we're doing with food, what sort of future is that going to create for us? Or let's say we can look at another example. Let's say I stay up too late, or not even too late, but I stay up really late at night and I watch a lot of TV and I don't get very much sleep. If I keep doing this, kind of on default, I don't really imagine what the future might be, but I just keep doing this over and over and over again. What is that going to create in the future? In the reference to triathlon or any sort of physical activity, if I'm super inconsistent about my exercise, maybe I do it when I feel like it. Maybe sometimes I don't. Maybe uh I don't really like to, I really want to get faster and I want to get better, but I don't take the steps to actually do anything about it. What sort of future is that creating? It's a default future. Now, what is a created future? The created future is something that you create with your mind. You visualize what might be possible, and then you create it from an image, from an idea, you create your future. So the default happens when you keep doing the same thing, same thing over and over again. You might seek out information. Let's say you listen to podcasts, you read books, you ask some questions. It might feel like I'm I'm really trying. I'm trying to become a better runner. I'm trying to uh make different choices when I eat. I'm trying to feel better in my body, but I'm having a hard time taking action, actually doing the thing. Or sometimes the default happens when you delay making decisions. It's like, yeah, I know I want to do that, but maybe we have a lot of reasons. Maybe we have excuses, maybe it's not the right time, maybe I just don't have enough time. I don't know what to do. This is another time. Either you delay making decisions, thinking, yeah, I need to decide that. I'll decide later. I want you all to know if you are delaying making a decision, that is a decision. Now, here's the other thing that default, when a default future happens, it's when you know you want to make a change, but you're scared. Or you just don't know what to do, or you don't think you can do it. This happens a lot for people with food, with the challenges of food. I really want to become more calm and more peaceful around food. I want that, but I don't think I can. I've never been able to. I've always felt out of control around food. I've had these periods of success, but then I always go backward. Whatever it is, either I'm scared, I don't know what to do, or I don't think I can. If that's the case, you are potentially looking at a default future. So I want you to think about for yourself right now. If I keep doing what I'm doing right now, what is my future going to look like? And what how do I feel about that? I don't ask this question for you to feel bad or shameful or guilty about yourself. Because if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I do not think that is helpful. And I know that when we're in shame or in judgment about ourselves, we are likely going to continue doing the very thing that we don't want to be doing anymore. So I share this concept and these questions with the goal of creating awareness. If we're aware of something, then we can change it. When we're on default, sometimes we're not even aware. Or we kind of would rather not be aware. So many people kind of feel like I just want to put my head in the sand. I want to pretend like my default future is not going to be a problem or be a challenge. Now, I don't want you to think about your default future so that you can be scared or so that you can judge yourself or think that you are awful or doomed, because none of that is true. But I do want you to look at what's happening. I want you to be aware and I want you to know you can create any picture that you want. You can create any future that you want. When we're in default, when we're in denial, when we're putting our head in the sand, we're kind of pretending like the future may not be the trajectory that we're actually on. So I invite you to consider if I continue on this path, on this trajectory, what does my future look like? Am I headed towards a default future that I don't really want for myself? And if I am, what steps can I take to change my future? To shift from a default future to a created future. Because guess what? The future is coming. Hopefully, for most of us. It's not guaranteed. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. But most of us will see tomorrow. Most of us will have a future that goes at least beyond the very short term. And the future, your future is created first and foremost in your mind. So let's talk about a created future. What is a created future? How do we create our future? You have a created future when you have a clear picture of what you want. You imagine maybe it's even a different future. You imagine what you want for yourself. You have a clear picture and you seek support to get a result that you haven't had before. This support can come in so many ways. It might come in the place of a coach. It might come in the place of a therapist. It might come in the place of somebody else that you know personally who has been through what you've been through, who has a result that you don't have that you want in your life. The internet is full of all kinds of support and resources. But we often can't create results that we haven't created before. Sometimes it's hard to create on our own. And that's okay, but it starts with a picture. It starts with a vision of what you want. So I've been reflecting on this recently, and I have actually very recently come to realize that I've always had a vision in my life of where I want to go. Now I want to be very clear. This vision has changed so many times over the years. As I've learned new things, as I've gone through different experiences, maybe I've figured certain things out for myself. Maybe I've thought, oh, actually, I really want, I used to think I wanted that. Now I want this. I shift. I give myself permission to shift, but I've always had this idea of what I want for myself. When I was really little, I wanted to be a doctor. For a long time, I just knew I am gonna be a doctor. And then one day, I believe I was in, I was dry, I was just barely driving. And my girlfriend's little brother had, he had cut his hand. And we, she and I drove to the pediatrician's office to be with her little brother. He had this huge cut in his hand, and he was gonna need stitches. And my girlfriend was like, Oh, I can't, I can't go in there. I can't stand the sight of blood, but I really don't want him to be alone. And I was like, no problem. I will go in there, I will be with him. So I'm sitting by the side of his uh the bed while he is getting stitched up by the doctor. And the next thing I knew, I woke up in a dark room. I had fainted at the sight of the cut on his hand while he was getting stitches. And I thought, oh, maybe I am not meant to be a doctor. So I shifted. Didn't really know exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew, I knew I wanted to go on to college. Then when I was in college, I knew I wanted to go into business. And as I went through my first couple of classes, then I knew, yes, I want to become an accountant. I can do so many things if I'm an accountant. I became a CPA. Then I became a commercial real estate broker. I had these ideas and these visions over time. Then through my experience as a commercial real estate broker, I knew that wasn't really lighting me up anymore. I knew I had had success, but I didn't really feel like I was making a difference. And I decided if I could figure out my own binge eating struggles, that I would turn that around and I would help other people. Now, I never could have known that this would be my future, that this would be where I am at this stage in my life. But here's what is very clear for me. I have never been in default mode with any of it. It's never been a, well, let's just see. Like, let's just kind of not think about the future. I think what happens sometimes is we don't, we don't realize that what we are doing and thinking and who we are being today impacts and creates our future and who we become tomorrow and who we become in the future. So for me, there's always been a vision. Now, this vision has changed over time. And as it's changed, I just reimagine the vision and I create a new vision for myself. And as I reflect on it, the same really has been with athletics. My very first triathlon, I was inspired by a friend who said she was doing, she was, she was attending a class at a local college. And at the end of the semester, they were going to compete. Come not even compete, they were going to complete a sprint triathlon. And I thought, that sounds amazing. I would love to do that. I wonder if I could do that. And then I started researching. Is there a triathlon around here? I found one. I signed up. I found a swimming group. I found a running group. I signed up. I did my first triathlon. I put my helmet on backwards. And I was like, that was amazing. I want to do it again. I did it again. Then my husband was like, I could do that. We started doing it together. Then it was like, oh, let's, we, what about longer? What if we could, what if we could do a longer distance? What if we could do an Olympic triathlon? How about a half iron man? And we kept having new ideas and new visions. And 10 years after my first triathlon, I did a full Iron Man. And when I first started doing triathlon, I remember thinking I could never do a full Iron Man. And then I did. Then I started dreaming about Kona. And when I first started dreaming about Kona, I thought, I could never do that. That would be impossible, it would be amazing, but impossible. And now I've been twice to Kona. So it's like if they start as little seeds, then it's like, oh, that would be so amazing, but really maybe challenging, or maybe that would be impossible. But you hold on to the vision. So my question for you is this what future are you creating? Are you creating a default future or a created future? Again, this is from a place of awareness, not shame or judgment. Remember, shame and judgment, it's a 50-pound weight that we put on the hood of our car. It's going to prevent us from getting under the hood and figuring out what's going on, what's preventing us from doing the things we want to do in the first place. So if you are, if you are noticing, oh man, I think I'm in it. I'm in, I'm creating a default future. I didn't even realize until I listened to this podcast. And now I see it. I know I'm aware. You can't change what you're not aware of. So this podcast is created, it's designed to bring in awareness. Are you in a living into a created future or a default future? If you're currently living into a default future, what prevents you from living into a created future? It's probably one of these three things. I don't think it's possible. I don't know what to do, or I'm afraid of what it will take. So let's just look at each of these three things that prevent us from living into a creative future. I don't think it's possible. Here's what I want you to know anything is possible. If you have the vision of like, I would love that for myself. It is possible in some way for you. Now, some people will say, Yeah, I don't really know, but what about this? Like, it's not possible that I could become a professional basketball player. Well, do you want to become a professional basketball player? I find that most people who dream about becoming a professional basketball player actually love the game of basketball. Maybe they're even very good or very talented. Now, are they going to become a professional? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But if you are a person who doesn't even like the game of basketball, and you're like, yeah, but I could never, it's not possible for me to be a professional basketball player. That's different. I'm talking about the things that are put on your heart, the things that you have a vision for, of something that you would love for yourself. In some way, it's possible. Now, whatever that way is, it might be different than your initial vision, but that doesn't, what you want to do is take action towards it. So find people. Imagine what would be amazing for you. What is this vision of a future that you want for yourself? Find other people who have done what you want to do and seek out support. So that's that's our first kind of like, I don't think it's possible. Anything is possible. Find others that have done what you want to do and seek out support. Now, next thing, I don't know what to do. Here's what I want you to know you don't have to know the how. You don't have to know how you are going to do it, but can you take the first step? The very first step towards whatever that future might be. You might end up taking 20 steps, 100 steps, 1000 steps, and deciding, uh, maybe this isn't for me. Maybe I do want to shift. And that's totally okay. But are you taking any steps at all? So many people have this vision for themselves, but they're not even taking the first step. So can you take the first step without needing to know the how, without needing to know all of the pieces of the puzzle? Let's just start with the first one. So the last kind of argument that our brain likes to come up with is I'm afraid. I'm afraid it will of what it will take. So I want you to ask yourself, if this is you, I'm afraid of what will it take in order to do whatever I want to do. Maybe it's I'm afraid of what it will take to stop binge eating. I'm afraid of what it will take, of what I will have to do to have the relationship with food that I want. My question to you is this. We're really looking at the cost. It's like, I'm afraid of the cost, but I want you to know what is the cost to you now? And what cost do you think might be required for the new future? I think a lot of times it makes so much sense. Our brain wants to avoid discomfort. It wants to avoid pain. Avoid pain, seek pleasure, and use as little energy as possible. So, of course, it's going to think, we don't want to, it might be painful. I want to avoid that. I want to do this thing that's familiar. But what is the cost to you right now? What is it taking from you right now? And if you keep doing this and you end up in your default future, what is that cost going to be in the future? If we look at what it might take, what the cost might be towards the new created future, what cost do you think might be required? Let's just get really curious. Sometimes we think I'm afraid of what it will take, I'm afraid of what it will cost, and we don't actually even take the time to really look at what cost might be required. Because what if? If there is another future out there that is even better than you've imagined for yourself, one that you wouldn't even know until you took action towards a different future. So I want you to think about where you are right now, whether it is a situation with your partner, like if you have a partner, um, think about what you do for a living. Think about where you live. Think about a close friendship. Think about something that you have in your life right now that is really pretty amazing, or that you are proud of, or that you like, that you would choose again. Think about this, just whatever it is that comes up to you, comes up for you. Could you have predicted the trajectory of having that thing in your life, whether it's the person, the job, where you live, the friendship that you have, could you have predicted that trajectory? I'm gonna guess the answer is no. So when I think about how I met my husband, we met at a bar during a recruiting trip, my last year of college. I was trying to find a place to work, not a person to spend the rest of my life with. I never could have imagined that I would be helping people all over the world understand and overcome binge eating back when I was dreaming about becoming a doctor. But I've let myself dream. I've let myself imagine what might be possible, what I might like to do, and what might be next. Yes, there will be challenges to overcome. But guess what? There will be challenges with the default future too. There are going to be challenges in your future, no matter which future you end up with. I want you to picture for yourself what your future looks like if nothing changes. That vision might scare you, but it also might excite you. But either way, you have clear direction on what to do next. You get to create your future. What you do today and how you show up today is a seed that gets planted for tomorrow. You don't have to be perfect ever. But if you don't take steps to change what isn't working in your life, you will continue to create more of it. If you want support to create a different future for yourself in any area of your life, reach out. I would love to help you create an intentional future that excites you and scares you just enough to keep growing if that's something that you want for yourself. People ask me sometimes, do you only work with people around food and around binge eating? And the answer is no. So many of my clients, we end up starting our work talking about the food, and we continue working together to work on all of the other areas of life that open up and that we get excited about when we're not talking about the food anymore. So often the food is kind of a screen for the other things that are going on, the other things that we really want for ourselves in our life. So I can support you through anything, whether it is a new relationship with food or a new possibility of a future for yourself. Now, nobody can tell you what an amazing created future for yourself might be other than you. So tune into yourself and start to imagine what you would love to create. To borrow the Iron Man slogan, anything is possible. That's what I have for you today. I'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to Binge Breakthrough. You can find the show notes and any resources mentioned at bingebreakthrough.com. If you like this episode, subscribe to have future episodes delivered to you each Wednesday. And remember, your five star rating and review will help others discover these life changing content. See you next week.