What About the Scale?

Today's episode builds upon the topic of what you consider success when thinking about the journey with food and your body. We are discussing the scale and answering the question - should I weigh myself?

I hear two primary reasons for people wanting to weigh themselves:

1. To keep in check
2. To see if it's working

In this episode, we look at each reason in greater detail. I also share some of the thoughts that are common to have when the number has gone up. These thoughts also lead to shame, guilt, frustration, and more. 

I used to be a person who weighed myself, but only when I wanted to see the number and thought it might be going down. When I look back on it, I was dieting, even though, at the time, I would have assured you that I just liked and preferred healthy food.

As I got further in my healing journey and learned about the genuine mind-body connection, I realized that using the scale was taking me away from the ability to trust my body. 

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Transcript

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Welcome to Binge Breakfast. Finally point feeling out of control. I'm getting and I want you to know that no matter how long you've been traveling, what you've tried. Each week I will share the strategies, tools, and mind steps that allowed me to overcome my decades-long battle with binge people. Your journey to body trust starts now. Let's dive in. Hello, trusted listener. Welcome to Binge Breakthrough. I consider you a trusted listener because I trust that you are listening to this podcast and this particular episode at just the right time for you. I trust that you are going to hear something in our time together that is going to be exactly what you need to hear. Whether it's a new concept, whether you hear something in a way that you've never heard before, or whether the words I have to share are going to resonate with you in some way, I trust that this is going to be a powerful experience for you. So in last week's episode, I talked about the frustration that many people feel when they think that they had success with their previous choices around eating without really considering the full picture. I often hear something like, Well, I did keto for a while and it worked, but then I stopped and I gained a lot of weight, even more than before I started. And I keep wanting to go back to keto, but I can't manage it for more than a couple of days. A method or a strategy isn't successful if it isn't sustainable. So if you haven't listened to the last episode yet, and you are thinking that something that you have done in the past worked, you might consider listening when you're done with this one. There's a lot of great information in that episode for anyone who finds themselves looking backwards, reflecting on what they think worked before. And so today's episode is building on this topic and the idea of what do we consider as success when thinking about the journey with food and your body. Yes, we are talking about the scale and specifically answering the question: should I weigh myself? I hear two primary reasons for people wanting to weigh themselves. Number one, to keep myself in check. And number two, to see if it's working. So let's take a look at each of these reasons. So, number one, if you want to weigh yourself, to keep yourself in check. What I would want to know is how do you feel when you think you need to keep yourself in check? Does this come from the idea that you need to be restrained? Or that maybe you can't control yourself otherwise, so the scale will tell you when to stop eating? Or do you feel curious? Like you just want to know what the number is for data purposes. Now, number two, if you want to weigh yourself to see if it's working, this would indicate that you see weight loss as a measure of success. Now, I think that everyone should make their own decision regarding whether or not to weigh themselves. Because the actual act of standing on the scale and looking at the number, staring back at you, is not in and of itself helpful or harmful. The most important factor is what happens for you in your head once you see that number. And really, it's what happens in your head before you even get on the scale. So we were just talking about those two reasons that people are thinking about what's going on in your head before you even get on the scale? What is the energy behind the reasoning to get on the scale? Are you is it coming from an energy of fear? Is it coming from an energy of curiosity? Is it coming from an energy of um shame? What is the energy in the decision to get on it? And then once you are on the scale, then what happens? This is where it gets so curious. What happens in your head once you see that number? So think about this for yourself. Think about the last time you got on a scale. Do you remember? Do you remember the situation? Do you remember the number that you saw? And do you remember what you thought about yourself in relation to that number? I see most people make the number mean something about themselves personally. So if the number has gone up, they might think, I'll never figure this out. I knew I couldn't lose weight. I'm terrible. I need to eat less. I've been working so hard and nothing is working. This isn't healthy. These thoughts might lead to feeling shame, frustration, or disappointment, which is likely to lead to more eating. Now, if the numbers down, they might think it's working. I just need to keep doing this. Or I need to make sure I keep eating less. Maybe they think I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep this up. Maybe they think this number needs to keep going down. Or I've been so good. I deserve a reward. These thoughts could lead to feeling excitement, fear, uncertainty, or even pride. But what about you? Think about this for yourself. If you weigh yourself, what do you usually think when you get on the scale and the number is down? How does that impact your food choices? And what do you think when the number is up? How does it impact your food choices? The other question you can ask yourself is: what do you think before you get on the scale? What's going through your mind then? That right there will give you a good indication as to why you are currently weighing yourself. So for me, I used to be a person who weighed myself, but only when I wanted to see the number and only when I thought it might be going down. So I would either weigh myself in hopes to see that number going down, or I wouldn't want to see anything knowing the number was most likely going up. I put a lot of worth and meaning into the number on the scale, and I let that number dictate my food choices. If it was up, I would try to eat less in an attempt to bring the number down. But in doing so, I was unknowingly taking myself into the physical and mental restriction that I talked about in episode five of this podcast. I used the number on the scale as an indicator of success. I didn't see any problem with this, but I was also still very much stuck in a cycle of binge eating. It wasn't a perpetual cycle. I could have periods of what I considered success, followed by periods of binges, but I was definitely in a cycle. And when I look back on it, I was definitely dieting, even though at the time I would have assured you that I just liked and preferred healthy food. And as I got further in my own personal healing journey and learning about true connection between the mind and the body, I realized that using the scale was taking me away from the ability to trust my body. I was trying to change my relationship with food and my relationship with my body, but I was letting something outside of me dictate what to eat and how much to eat. There was a correlation between what I saw on the scale and how I felt about myself and the food choices that I made. I was getting my value in a number or a size. So I started asking myself the question: has weighing myself ever truly been beneficial? And I honestly could not say yes. Can it be informative? Maybe. But what do you do with that information? How do you interpret it? Yes, you can absolutely create a different relationship with the scale, with the number that's reflecting back at you, and what you make that number mean. But tell yourself the truth. Do you have a good relationship with the scale? Are you getting your identity or your sense of worth from that number and it's staying the same or it going down? Is it truly helping you or is it keeping you in the pattern you are so desperate to get out of? The key here isn't the relationship with the scale, it's the relationship with yourself. In my work with clients, it is my deepest desire for them to learn how to connect with themselves, with their own needs, with the way that they were wired, to learn how to look internally for answers and for guidance. When you look to the scale for guidance, you are not looking inwards. I am a huge proponent of developing trust with your body to tell you what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. I'm a proponent of connecting with yourself, of turning inwards to discover what you need, to discover what foods make you feel the best and give you the most energy for what you want to do with your life? Most of us have been around this journey with food long enough to know all about nutrition and the basics when it comes to health promoting behaviors. So here's my question for you Does weighing yourself feel like it is health promoting? Or does it feel like it takes a lot of mental energy? How does the number on the scale and your reflection of that, your interpretation of that number, how does that impact how you show up in your day with other people and with your food decisions? If you are someone who wants to weigh themselves, understand your reason. Why do you weigh? Do you like your reason? If you know your reason, you like your reason, and you think that it is helping your physical and your emotional health, then by all means keep weighing yourself. If you can see clear patterns between weighing yourself and increased out-of-control episodes with food, or increased anxiety or concerns around food, it might be time to take a break from the scale. Now, when I suggest taking a break from the scale, some people automatically think that I mean just disconnect from yourself completely and eat whatever you want. This is never my advice. The suggestion to take a break from the scale is to take a break from the idea that anyone or anything outside of you can know what you need better than yourself. It's an invitation to connect with yourself, to get curious about what other measures of success might look like as it relates to your relationship with food and your body. It's an invitation to get to know your body right now, to learn to work with it, to connect with it, to give it what it needs in a way that is honoring and nurturing, not in a way that is controlling or trying to change it from a place of disgust or contempt. I was talking to a client the other day. She hasn't weighed herself in a long time. And she says, I'm never going back. She can see how much mental energy she placed on the scale, especially when she would get on after a binge. And now she knows the key is always coming back to herself and her needs, not getting on the scale to determine her worth or her success. And for me, personally, I no longer weigh myself. Sometimes I get curious about what the number might be, but then I ask myself, what will you do with that information? What will you think? In what ways will it be helpful? And I decide it won't be helpful. No matter what number I see, I will have thoughts about it that are likely to impact my food choices in a negative way. But what is helpful and what is amazing is the relationship I have with food and my body now. Is my body perfect? No. It never has been and it never will be. I thought I had things that needed to change about my body when I was at an unhealthy low weight. And I thought the exact same thing when I weighed more than I do now. It's never about the number. So why do we need to know it? How can anyone know what a healthy weight is for themselves only based on a number? When I was at my lowest weight, I truly thought I was healthy. But I can look back now and realize that was not a healthy weight for me, physically or emotionally. So my decision is no. It's the best thing I can do for my mental health and for the trusting relationship I'm developing with my body. That decision comes from respect for myself and trust that I will care for my body in the best way that I know how. The decision doesn't come from fear of the number or wanting to avoid or deny any changes in my body. It just feels like the right thing for me on this path. It allows me to stay connected with myself and let myself be the decision maker for what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. And that is really important to me. So, what are your thoughts about the scale? Does weighing yourself feel useful? Do you get your worth or your identity in the number? And how do you respond when that number changes? What might it be like to not weigh yourself? Experiment for a month or two without it and see what comes up. No matter what happens, you will learn something from the experiment. Now, let me be clear. This is where it is so important to know yourself, know your patterns, and know what is most useful for you. Some people can weigh themselves with no drama, no attachment to worth or identity, and find it to be a very useful metric to track. If this is you and it feels helpful, then by all means, weigh yourself. But for some people, weighing can unknowingly be creating more harm than benefit. I see this happen a lot with people with a history of binge eating or a history of dieting. There can truly be a trauma-like response to getting on the scale, to trying to hit a number or using anything external to try to control your intake or your size. Only you can know the answer. You have full agency over anything you choose to do. As I say, just know your reason and love your reason. So if you're interested in learning more about this topic and you're listening to this podcast when it originally airs in March of 2023, you definitely want to check out my next masterclass. It's called The Intersection of Binge Eating and Weight Loss. It's going to be a good one. Sign up at my website, janepilger.com. And if you're listening to this podcast at a later time, that same website, janepilger.com, will be your source for any current offerings or information. So that's what I have for you guys today. And if you've ever wondered why you can't do what other people can, or why you seem to react to certain things differently than others, you definitely want to tune in to next week's episode. I'll see you there. Thank you for listening to Binge Breakthrough. If you would like to dive even further into these concepts that will help you break through your barriers to food freedom, come to my next masterclass. I take the ideas you learn about on the podcast to the next level in a way you may have never heard before. Sign up at bingebreakthrough.com. I hope to see you there.