Should I Track How Long It Has Been Since My Last Binge?

You may be wondering, "should I track how long it has been since my last binge?" Some people may think it's helpful to watch how many days they are abstinent from binging. I used to track my binge-free days with an app where I tracked statistics, all in some hope that by paying really close attention to everything then I could finally get myself under control and stop binging. I am not going to tell you what you should do, because everyone is different. What worked for me, may not work for you. Today, I invite you to go deeper and show you how to check in with yourself to uncover how tracking your binge-free days may or may not be helpful for you.

Here are some key points from this episode:

It is most important to become super aware of what you make it mean when you binge. If you have tracked your binge-free days in the past, what happens when you do have a binge? 

You can change your thoughts about binging. When you change what your thoughts are about binging after a binge-free period, you are more likely to get curious, to figure out what happened, to make a plan for the next time, to try new things, and to keep getting up as many times as it takes. 

Know your reason and like your reason when you decide whether or not you will track your binge-free days.  If you don't like your reason - I invite you to get curious about it. If you could look at it without judgment, would you want to re-evaluate or consider other alternatives? And if the answer is no - that's great too. You always and forever have the right and the agency to make any decisions you want. Just make sure that you are choosing them for you. Not because anyone else told you, but because you want to and you like your reasons.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Transcript

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Welcome to Binge Breakfare. I can help you finally break through the barriers that keep you stuck feeling out of control. I'm a coach change helper. And I want you to know that no matter how long you've been struggling, what you've tried, freedom, I'm here to show you. Each week I will share the strategies, tools, and mindset that allowed me to overcome my decades-long battle with binge eating. Your journey to body trust starts now. Let's dive in. Hello, trusted listener. Welcome to Binge Breakthrough. I consider you a trusted listener because I trust that whether you are joining me for the first time or if you are a regular listener, I trust that you are going to hear something today that is going to be impactful for you. I trust that you are listening to this podcast in this moment for a reason. There may be a seed planted today, or you may have a breakthrough today. No matter what, I trust that you are in the right place. And I trust that the words that I have to share today are going to be impactful for you in some way. I encourage you to create an intention right now to take something away from this episode. Don't just let this be another podcast that you listen to that you don't even remember two days from now. Think about how you want to take anything that you hear in this podcast and apply it to your life. Listen for something that you can apply. Listen for the reason why you are currently listening to this episode. So today we're going to talk about something that many of you may be wondering. Should I track how many days or how long it has been since my last binge? Some people think this might be helpful. Like it might actually be helpful to see the days go up. As the days increase, then maybe I'll start to think I've finally figured this out. Now, we a lot of us know and understand that 12-step programs actually advocate this process. They advocate counting your days of abstinence. They even give you a coin to commemorate certain milestones. I used to do this. I used to track my binges. I used to track my binge-free days. I would track how many days that I did binge, that I didn't binge. I had an app where I tracked my statistics, all in some hope that by paying really close attention to everything, knowing all the details, all my stats, then I could finally get myself under control and stop binging. Now, before I answer the question at hand, I want to be clear. I can't know what you should do or what you shouldn't do. I can give you my thoughts, my perspective, and my own experience. But like with everything, I encourage you to check in with yourself. This entire process is very individual. It's so important that no matter what you do, you check in with yourself. You take what resonates and you leave what doesn't. Now, I might offer you a new perspective or something that maybe you haven't considered before, but that doesn't mean that I'm right. It just means I'm a human with a perspective to share. I am somebody who has been on this journey. I have my experience, my perspective. But this is where you get to be discerning for yourself. You get to have agency and actively choose what you want to do for yourself and why you want to do it. Okay, so we're going back to the question to track binge-free days or not? So before I answer the question, I'm gonna ask you a question. If you have tracked binge-free days in the past, what happens when you do have a binge? So I ask this question, presuming that it has happened, that you've tracked binge-free days, and then you've binged. Number one, you are a human with a history of binge eating. And number two, you are listening to this podcast. If you weren't binging anymore, you wouldn't have any interest in listening to a podcast about binge eating. So I can't assume, I don't know for sure if you have or haven't tracked your binge free days, but if you have, I am assuming that you have tracked them and then you have binged. So let's go back to the question. You started tracking your binge-free days and then you binged. Then what happened? Did you get right back on track without any problem? Ready to get that streak built back up? Or did you think you had blown it, decided I might as well eat all the things since I'm already binging, and then potentially end up in a binge cycle that lasted several days, weeks, or even months. Now, these aren't the only two options. So if your response is different in terms of what happened to you, if you started tracking binge free days and then you binged, if your response is different than the, you know what, I got right back on track, or I actually started binging and I ended up in a cycle that lasted for a while. If you are, if you are in a different response from that, that is totally valid. But let's just stop for a moment and think about what is your immediate response when you binge? Whether you've been tracking binge-free days or not, what's your immediate response when you binge? Does it feel like you're off the wagon? Like it's a slippery slope that you can't get back from? This is such a common thought for people. They think they can stop for a while, but once they start, it's like they're back in the cycle, and it's so much harder to get out. So the first thing to get super aware of is what you make it mean when you binge. What is your interpretation of the situation and of you as an individual? So here's a very common interpretation made by many human brains, especially when shame and judgment is present. The interpretation is I failed. I'm broken. I'll never figure this out. I'm backsliding. Once I start, I can't stop. I can't believe I did it again. I hate that I do this. So if you interpret your binge in this way, do you think that your chances are higher or lower that you will binge again? Of course they're higher. There is a very good reason that shame and judgment is the number one reason in the eight reasons why you binge that I outlined in the first few episodes of this podcast. Shame and judgment will keep you in the cycle of binging. Did you know you don't have to interpret a binge in that way? Here are some other things you could think. Hmm, something must be going on here. I'm going to figure out how this makes sense. I'm going to find the treasure in this. Yes, I said treasure. I truly believe there is a treasure in every binge. If you are willing to look for it, if you are willing to set aside the shame and the judgment, there is treasure to be found. Here are some other things you could think. I'm going to learn from this. I'm going to use the situation to grow. This is one of my favorites. This is a remnant of an old pattern that I'm unlearning. So if you had one of these interpretations, what do you suppose your response might look like? You are likely to get curious, to figure out what happened, to make a plan for the next time, to try new things, to keep getting up as many times as it takes. The existence of a binge does not equal failure. This is part of my problem with tracking binge-free days. It seems like a binge free day might equal success because the problem behavior isn't there. But I'm here to tell you that isn't always the case. I was talking to a client recently who had a lot of quote unquote success on previous programs. And she thought that her weight loss was evidence of this success. But looking back on it, she can see that she did it all from sheer willpower. And it's not sustainable. This is a topic for the next episode. But it's important to note here because you can have a binge and still be making so much progress in rewiring your brain and your patterns. And you can also not have a binge, but be setting yourself up to potentially binge in the future because you're restricting or avoiding your emotions or disconnecting from yourself. The existence of a binge does not mean you aren't making progress. And the lack of a binge also doesn't mean that you are making progress. There are so many other ways to track progress with your relationship with food that have nothing to do with the number of days since your last binge or how your clothes fit. I was actually talking with a client about this recently. She was identifying she's having a hard time untangling her relationship with her body and her relationship with food. And so I asked her to name 10 ways, irrespective of weight and size, that she could use to determine if her goal of getting more comfortable and more confident with food is working, if she's making progress on that goal of getting more comfortable and confident with food. So here's what she came up with. Here are the 10 ways that she can see that she is making progress. I order, number one, I order whatever sounds good when I'm at restaurants. Number two, I trust myself to stop when I've reached enough most of the time. Number three, I have less shameful thoughts after eating. Number four, I am working out because it feels good rather than for weight loss. Number five, I eat a variety of foods rather than just the quote unquote good stuff. Number six, I'm rarely overly full or I rarely overeat. Number seven, I'm buying more fitted clothes and choosing to rock them despite some mind chatter. Number eight, I have a voice when it comes to choosing restaurants and choose what sounds best most of the time. Number nine, if I eat something or choose something that doesn't satisfy me, I have less drama than I used to. Number 10, I know I can eat and enjoy dessert and not gain weight from it. None of these items have anything to do with the number of days being binge-free or the number of days since her last binge. They also have nothing to do with her size. Nothing to do with her body, her external body. She's connecting with the internal. So in the future, when binge eating is no longer a problem for you, do you want to know how many days it's been since your last binge? Or will it just be something you used to do and now you don't even think about it anymore? Personally, I don't want to give food any more power over me than I gave it for decades. This is part of why I don't write down my food. I don't count or weigh anything, including myself. I trust myself to know that if things start looking different in my food intake or in my focus, it's a signal that something else is going on. The food doesn't need more focus. I just need to go under the hood to see what's going on that is making that light come on. It's that reference to the light on the dashboard that I talked about in the last episode, looking under the hood. So to answer the question, I don't find it useful. I don't find it helpful to count binge-free days. If anything, I think it has the potential to keep someone in black and white thinking. If you count those days, what will happen if you do binge? You might think that counting will prevent you from binging, but what if it doesn't? There's an author who talks about the day after perfect. And I love this idea. What do you do the day after you break your streak? Do you want to be identified by your streak? Or do you want to be identified as the person who just knows they generally make connected choices around food? I'm much more interested in your identity as an eater. Who do you want to become? Does your future self, who no longer binges and no longer feels out of control around food, do they write things down, track things, and follow streaks? They might. And if so, that's great. The most important thing for you is to honor what feels right for you, not what I say, not what anyone else says. Let what others have to say inform your own decisions, but trust yourself enough to know what decision is the most helpful for you as a unique human. Nobody can know what is best for you. Nobody can know your needs better than you. Here is my best advice to you about any decision that you make. Know your reason and like your reason. So often we don't even know why we are making certain decisions. Or we make decisions from fear or lack, and we don't like those reasons. So here's an example. Look down at what you are wearing right now. Why did you decide to wear whatever is on your body? Maybe you love your outfit. You feel comfortable and confident in it. That is a great reason to choose, and you probably like that reason. You might not have had anything else clean or available to wear. That could be a reason to like your choice. You might be wearing what you're wearing because you don't have anything else that fits, and you don't want to go to the store because you think you should lose weight so you can wear the clothes in your closet. I'm not here to tell you if that's a good reason or not, but do you like your reason for any decision that you make, whether it's what you wear, what you eat, or whether you want to track your binge-free days? Know your reason. Like your reason. If you don't like your reason, I invite you to get curious about it. If you could look at it without judgment, without shame, would you want to reevaluate or consider other alternatives? And if the answer is no, that's great too. You always and forever have the right and the agency to make any decisions you want. Just make sure that you are choosing them for you. Not because anyone else told you, because you want to and you like your reasons. So, what do you think? Will you track your binge free days? I don't. And I love my reasons. I'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to Binge Breakthrough. You can find the show notes and any resources mentioned at bingebreakthrough.com. If you like this episode, subscribe to have future episodes delivered to you each Wednesday. And remember, your five-star rating and review will help others discover these life-changing contents. See you next week.