What is Your Relationship with Hunger?

Welcome to a powerful new series exploring hunger in a way you may never have heard before. If you've ever feared hunger, tried to control it, or lost touch with it completely, this episode will change how you think about this fundamental body signal.

What You'll Discover:

• Why hunger has become the "enemy" for so many people

• The real reason your hunger signals feel chaotic or unpredictable

• How to start rebuilding trust with hunger

• Why respect is the key to healing your relationship with hunger

Ready to discover what your hunger is really trying to tell you? This series will guide you from confusion to clarity, from fear to freedom.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Transcript

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Today we're starting a powerful new series all about hunger. Not just what it is, but your relationship with it. If you have ever feared hunger, tried to control it, or lost touch with it completely, this series is for you. And we're gonna begin with a question that might change everything. What is your relationship with hunger? Welcome to Binge Eating Breakthrough, the podcast to help you stop feeling out of control around food and build trust with your body. If you've tried everything but still feel stuck, you're not alone. I've been there too. I'm Jane Pilger and I'm here to help you see binge eating in a new way so you can finally break free. Each week you'll get the tools and insights to create peace with food and your body. Your breakthrough starts now. Hello, trusted listener. I consider you a trusted listener because I trust that you're willing to look at your relationship with food differently than you have before. I trust that you're ready to explore the deeper questions, the ones that get to the root of why you struggle with food. And I trust that you're here because you know there has to be a better way than what you've been trying. Or you know that you're on the right path for you, and this is part of your path. So today, as we dive in to this series on hunger, we're starting with a question that might seem simple on the surface, but I promise you it is anything but simple. And the question is this What is your relationship with hunger? Now, you might be thinking, that's kind of a weird question. Hunger is just hunger. It's a biological single signal. When I'm hungry, I eat. What's so complicated about that? Or maybe when I asked the question, you felt a tightness in your chest. You felt a that is complicated. Or I don't even know what my relationship with hunger is. Maybe that came up for you. And if that is you, that is totally normal. And here's what I want you to know. After working with so many people who struggle with food, our relationship with hunger is never just about hunger. It's about trust. It's about control. It's about fear. It's about years and years of messages that we have received about our bodies, about food, and about what we should and shouldn't want. Think about this for a moment. When you feel hungry, what is your immediate response? Do you trust that signal? Do you honor it? Do you ignore it? Do you judge it? Do you panic about it? Do you try to talk yourself out of it? For so many of the people that I work with, hunger has become the enemy. It's something they are constantly trying to outsmart, control, or suppress. They've been told that if they feel hungry, it means they have willpower. They've been told hunger is weakness. They've been told if they're truly intuitive eaters, they should only eat when they are perfectly moderately hungry and stop when they are perfectly comfortably satisfied. Some people are afraid of hunger, terrified that if they get too hungry, they'll lose control and binge. So they eat preemptively, snacking at the first hint of hunger, or making sure to eat before they might get hungry later. This was me. I was convinced that if I got too hungry, I would binge. I was constantly snacking, constantly bringing snacks everywhere. Snacking, eating ahead of time. Oh, I'm going to be in a meeting, I better eat now, so that I don't get too hungry later. But other people see hunger as a sign of strength or control, something to be endured or pushed through. And still others have lost touch with hunger entirely, eating by the clock or external rules because they literally do not feel those signals anymore. So, where do you fall in this when you think about your own relationship with hunger? Really think for yourself. Where do I fall? What is my relationship with hunger? Because here's what happens when you've been dieting for years or even decades. What happens when you've been ignoring your hunger signals for so long that you can't even feel them anymore? When your hunger feels chaotic, unpredictable, or overwhelming. Here's what I want you to understand. If your relationship with hunger feels complicated, you are not alone. And your hunger signals aren't broken. What's happened is that your relationship with hunger has been disrupted. And that is completely understandable given what you have been through and what your body has been through, what your mind has been through. So let me paint a picture for you. Imagine hunger as a friend who has been trying to communicate with you for years. At first, this friend spoke to you clearly and directly. When you were a child, hunger would say, Hey, I need some food, and you would eat. Simple, trusting, uncomplicated. But then somewhere along the way, other voices got louder. Diet culture told you this friend was unreliable. You couldn't trust what they were saying. You were told this friend was too demanding, too frequent, asking for the wrong things at the wrong times. So you started ignoring your friend. You started talking over them, dismissing their requests, telling them they were wrong. You started following external rules about what you should and shouldn't eat, when you should and shouldn't listen to them. Now, imagine how that friend feels after years of being ignored, dismissed, or contradicted. They might start speaking louder, more frantically, or they might stop speaking altogether. They might start communicating in ways that feel chaotic or confusing because they've learned their normal voice isn't being heard. I know this so well because I have been on both extremes. For years I was afraid to get too hungry. I would eat preemptively, snacking at the first hint of hunger, or I would make sure to eat something if I knew it would be a while before I could eat again. Even if I wasn't hungry, I still would make sure to eat. I was terrified that if I got too hungry, I would lose control and binge. So I tried to stay ahead of my hunger, never letting it get too strong. I also just didn't like it. I didn't like the feeling of being hungry. And I know I didn't like it because of what I thought came on the other side of it. And then I swung to the other extreme. Once I realized I could be with hunger, that it would ebb and flow and it wouldn't kill me, I pushed it really far. I would go extended periods of time without eating, ignoring very clear signals from my body. I wore my ability to ignore hunger like a badge of honor, thinking that it meant that I was in control and that I was strong. And as with most things, I've discovered that the beauty does not lie in the extremes. It lies in finding that place in the middle where I can be with hunger and I can respond to hunger. I no longer fear it or think it's a sign of control. It's one of the many ways that my body communicates with me. I've shifted from fearing hunger to controlling hunger to now respecting hunger. And that's what I want for you to not to fear hunger or to control it, but to respect it as the communication system that it is. This is what happens to our hunger signals when we've been restricting dieting or ignoring them for years. They don't disappear, they adapt. And sometimes that adaptation looks like no hunger signals at all. And sometimes it looks like overwhelming, urgent hunger. Sometimes it looks like hunger that seems to come at all the wrong times. But here's what I want you to know that friend, your hunger is still there. But they need to know you're ready to listen again. They need to know that you're ready to rebuild trust. So let me ask you, what does your relationship with hunger look like right now? Are you afraid of it? Do you try to control it? Do you ignore it until it becomes overwhelming? Do you judge yourself for feeling it at the wrong times or for the wrong foods? Or maybe you're someone who can't feel hunger at all anymore. Maybe you eat by the clock, by external rules, by what you think you should be eating rather than what your body is asking for. If that's you, I want you to know your hunger is still there. It has just learned to be very, very quiet because it hasn't felt safe to speak up. Or maybe you're someone whose hunger feels chaotic and unpredictable. Maybe you find yourself not hungry all day and then ravenously hungry at night. Maybe your hunger always seems to be asking for foods that you have labeled bad or wrong. And if that's you, I want you to know this makes sense. And it's not a sign that you can't trust your body. Here's what I've learned. Our hunger signals are incredibly intelligent. They are always trying to help us, even when it doesn't feel that way. When hunger feels chaotic or unpredictable, it's usually because it's trying to compensate for restriction, either physical restriction or mental restriction. When we don't eat enough during the day, our body ramps up hunger signals at night. When we don't allow ourselves certain foods, our body creates intense cravings for those foods. When we're stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally depleted, our body might ask for food as a way to comfort and regulate us. Your hunger is not your enemy. It is not something to be controlled or conquered. It's a communication system that wants to help you take care of yourself. But like any relationship, it needs trust, respect, and patience to heal. So what would it look like to start rebuilding trust with your hunger? It starts with curiosity instead of judgment. Instead of dismissing your hunger or trying to talk yourself out of it, what if you got curious about what it's trying to tell you? It starts with honoring your hunger, even when it doesn't make logical sense to you. Your body knows things that your mind doesn't. Your body is factoring in your stress levels, your sleep, your emotions, your restriction from yesterday or last week or last year. It starts with understanding that rebuilding this relationship takes time. And if you have been ignoring or fighting your hunger for years, it's going to take patience and consistency to rebuild that trust. And it's so important to recognize that your hunger is not just about food. Sometimes when we feel hungry, our body is asking for nourishment. But sometimes it's asking for rest, for comfort, for connection, for safety. Learning to listen to these different types of hunger is part of building a trusting relationship with your body. And over the next several episodes, we're going to dive deeper into all of these aspects of hunger. We're going to explore the foundational truth that your relationship with hunger begins in childhood. We're going to look at the difference between physical and emotional hunger. We're going to talk about what to do when you can't feel hunger signals. We're going to look like look at why ignoring hunger always seems to backfire. And we're going to explore that hunger that no amount of food seems to satisfy. But for today, I just want you to sit with this question. What is your relationship with hunger? How do you talk to this part of yourself? How do you treat this communication system that is trying so hard to help you? Your body is always listening to how you respond to its signals. If you respond with judgment, fear, or dismissal, it learns to communicate differently. Think about how you communicate to somebody who responds to you with judgment, fear, or dismissal. Your body is no different. And if you start responding with curiosity, respect, and trust, it will learn to communicate more clearly. Just like you do when somebody responds to you with curiosity, respect and trust. Remember what you focus on expands. If you focus on distrusting your hunger, that distrust will expand. But if you start focusing on rebuilding that trust, even in small ways, that trust will begin to expand too. Your hunger is not the problem. Your hunger is part of the solution. It's your body's way of trying to help you take care of yourself. The question isn't how to control it or fix it. The question is how to rebuild trust with it. So this week, I invite you to simply notice. Notice your relationship with hunger without trying to change anything. Notice how you talk to yourself when you feel hungry. Notice what emotions come up and notice what judgment arises. Just notice. That's where all healing begins with awareness, with curiosity, with compassion for yourself and this incredible body that has been trying to communicate with you all along. Your body is always communicating with you. It's time to start listening. I'll see you next week with a powerful conversation about how our relationship with hunger begins in childhood. You are doing important work that will impact you for the rest of your life. Just imagine if hunger could become your friend again rather than the enemy, rather than something to be feared or controlled or ignored. This series can change everything for you. And I hope you will come along with me for the ride. If you've been trying to stop binge eating and nothing has worked, there's a reason. I created the binge breakthrough mini series to help you finally understand what's driving your binge eating beneath the surface so that you can actually start to change it. Each video is short and they're designed to give you the clarity and direction you've been missing so you can stop feeling stuck and start finding your way out. Start watching now at janepoger.com forward slash mini. That's janepoger.com forward slash mini. M I N I.