How to Actually Stick to Your New Year's Goals in 2024: Expert Tips

Discover the secrets to achieving your New Year's resolutions and overcoming common hurdles with Dr. Hayley Perlus, a renowned expert in sports psychology. In this episode of the All Things Fitness and Wellness podcast, Dr. Perlus shares her proven tips on goal setting, habit building, and navigating obstacles that often derail resolutions. With a Ph.D. in Sports Psychology and experience working with top athletes and brands, Dr. Perlus provides actionable steps to help you succeed, even if you're feeling burnt out at the start of the year.

Learn how to handle pressure, access your skills on demand, and perform like a champion athlete in various aspects of life, including the corporate world. Dr. Perlus combines her knowledge as an elite athlete, coach, fitness professional, and entrepreneur to equip you with the mental toughness tools you need for peak performance. Don't wait for the New Year; start implementing these strategies now to achieve your goals. Tune in for valuable insights and expert guidance from Dr. Haley Perlus.

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@drhaleyperlus

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Transcript

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But that also brings me to another reason why New Year's resolutions fail. We know that 80% of us aren't going to follow through. So it almost gives us an ouch before we've even started. So that's why resolution may not be the best word. If if you already have the story of I'm setting this, but none of us ever achieve them. We don't want that we don't want that story. This is all things fitness and wellness posted by Krissy Vann. Together we're uniting industry thought leaders and fit fluence errs on the mission to inspire innovation and encourage people to live a life fit and well brought to you by the Personal Training Institute, learn how to train, gain and retain clients visit BC pti.ca. Many of you are going to be kicking off the new year with aspirations to improve certain elements of your life. You may be looking to exercise more, eat the nutritious foods, start the business or finally carve out that space for yourself care. But oftentimes lofty goals do lead to failure. And that's because your habits or barriers in your life have not been addressed. Well not to worry because today we hear from Dr. Haley Perlis. She has a PhD in sports psychology and has worked with some of the world's top athletes, brands and fitness experts to help them achieve mental toughness and achieve results. We're going to be hearing plenty of actionable steps you can start taking today. But before we get to it, be sure to hit like and subscribe. We have new episodes of the All Things fitness and wellness podcast weekly. Let's get to it. This is ATF DW. When we hear new year's resolutions by February 80% of them have gone out the window. Why are we failing Dr. Perlis? I'm so glad that we have all of this time to discuss. Because there's, there's so many reasons. And I think the first would be that we are so motivated on January 1, and we are so excited on January 1, or for the whole month of January, that we're suddenly going to never drink again and exercise perfectly and everything is going to be great. But willpower is not what we actually use to follow through on our goals long term. So as soon as that motivation that from willpower dies down, so to do our does our follow through for those goals. So what would be the correct approach if we are looking to structure something that's toward our goals? Yeah, I'm a big believer in less is more. For me personally, I know that if I focused on my exercise, for example, I'm automatically going to eat healthier. There other people who if they eat healthier, they're more inclined to exercise. And that's only if we're talking about exercise and nutrition. We can talk about sleep other behaviors. But when you're prioritizing, think about the one behavior that will in you know yourself more than you think you do. Think about one behavior that you can focus on, that will automatically allow other behaviors to become more positive. And so when then you can narrow it down, trusting that even though you focus on this one thing, other things will naturally take shape. Well, and on that note, because I think that we still stick to that term resolution, but is that kind of mentally the way to go about it. I mean, really what you're speaking to is habit building. But that also brings me to another reason why New Year's resolutions fail, we know that 80% of us aren't going to follow through. So it almost gives us an out before we've even started. So that's why resolution may not be the best word. If you already have the story of I'm setting this, but none of us ever achieve them. We don't want that we don't want that story. But that also brings me to another reason why New Year's resolutions fail, we know that 80% of us aren't going to follow through. So it almost gives us an hour before we've even started. So that's why resolution may not be the best word. If you already have the story of I'm setting this, but none of us ever achieve them. We don't want that we don't want that story. On that note, obviously, you are a huge expert in sports performance. You have worked with athletes, you've worked with corporations and obviously individuals as well. So I think your brain is an excellent one to pick because you're so well researched and helping people achieve, whether it be their goals or that next level in their life. And one of your areas of expertise is mental toughness, which I think is imperative when we're ever going for something lofty in life. So help people understand what is this concept of mental toughness. If I were to narrow it down and get really specific mental toughness is really three things number one showing up even when you don't want to. And when we think about any change in any goals and you know any behavior change that we want to achieve. We have to it's going to be something different. So we need to show up, even though we may not always want to. Number two, mental toughness is enduring a little bit of discomfort. I'm not asking for us to experience pain, but accepting the fact that this is not going to feel good at first, especially at first. And then number three is really understanding that we need to exert every ounce of effort we have to give today, it is not about being perfect. Mental Toughness is about giving everything you have in that moment, if you only have 70%, you have to give 100% of that 70%. So bringing it back, it's showing up even though you don't want to, it's enduring some discomfort, and it's exerting every ounce of effort you have in that moment. I love that you broke it down into those three steps. And I want to focus on number two, because I feel like that's where most goals and is when everything in your being is like I don't like this, it doesn't feel right, I don't feel comfortable. And we see the quotes all the time your life happens outside of your comfort zone, pushing beyond your comfort zone is where the juice is, but explain to people what that discomfort looks like. Because obviously, if we think of it in terms of exercise, you're going to feel delayed onset muscle soreness and some Lumi legs, as I like to call them after doing a bunch of squats. But that discomfort is a lot of mental discomfort. So can you describe that a little bit what people have to push through? It's that moment where you question, why are you doing this? It's that moment where it's Oh, am I going to continue or give up that it's that moment. And it could be a physical discomfort. So if you're in the gym, and you're going through those reps in those sets, and it gets to be a little bit, just comfort, you know, but I got got eight more reps to do. It's that moment where you decide whether you're going to drop the weight or keep going. Mentally, it's oh, I want to have that second glass of wine, I want a second glass of wine. Remember, I always I said second because I'm good with the first I want to have that second glass of wine. And it's that it's that just comfort of this sitting here and not having embedment second indulgence is uncomfortable. It's that moment where you ask yourself, well, I won't i That, to me is the discomfort that we need to push through. Well, and the reason why I wanted you to focus on that for a second is because I think there's a lot of comfort in knowing you're not alone in the discomfort. Anytime there's a new journey, I just think it's so nice to hear from other stories that they felt that too, because it's really easy to look at somebody's success, and you never see their uncomfortable face. Or maybe you have but they've not vocalized, that that's where their mindset was when they were putting that out there. So there is as much as we're talking about Go outside your comfort zone, take the comfort that when you're feeling that you're not alone in that because I think I mean, you speak in spoken with some of the top CEOs and top athletes out there, reassure me everyone has had to push through this. It's it's actually the goal. That's what we in my practice, that's what we're aiming for that moment, because that's where the growth is. That's where the changes, that's where the achievement is. That's where the goals are. And I used to I remember before as I was starting to do public speaking, and people say, Oh, you're a motivational speaker? No, because I don't want to get up on stage and tell everyone how easy this is going to be. It's not going to be easy, it's actually going to be tough. I want you to experience pain, no discomfort, yes, I want you to seek it. I want you to look for that moment where you have to question why are you doing this? But then the answer becomes clear. Because your life will be better. If you stay in this exercise for one more minute, your life will be better if you you know, enjoy the tea over the wine, for example, you know, because your life will improve. So on that note, because you are somebody that coaches and guides people through the steps, what are some of the key missions that you put people on to move past those three elements of mental toughness or to harness that within themselves. We don't really set goals around what we pick up the cycles around, we change it up. So for example, if somebody and like myself, I was once a very poor water drinker, but didn't drink a lot of water. It was dehydrated. And so I wanted to improve that behavior. But I'm not going to set a goal to drink more water. Instead, I'm going to look for the barrier that prevents me from drinking water. And then I'm going to target that barrier and set a goal around it. For example, I would just go through my day and just not drink. I don't care if I'm holding the bottle with me. I still I still won't remind myself so I needed to create more moments in my day where I'm going to sit there or stand there and drink water. So the night before I go to bed, I would pour myself a glass of water and lemon, and put it on my night table. And then right when I wake up before I do anything, especially brush my teeth, I would drink that water with lemon. So I overcame the barrier that prevented me from drinking does that does that make sense? 100%. I mean, as you're talking about it, I'm like, I opted for the gigantic venti cup with a straw, I was like, I don't even have the energy to lift the glass to my lips, I need a straw to do it for me, I can tell you, it works. Exactly, exactly. We know ourselves more than we give ourselves credit, in my opinion. So it's not just looking at the behavior that you want to achieve. It's looking at all the things that are preventing you from doing it, and creating rituals that will eventually become habits, but creating rituals that are going to help you follow through. Well, and on that note, like we're heading into the new year now. And it's interesting because truthfully, when we take stock of our lives, nothing changes aside from the date on the calendar. But for some reason, we do view it as this mental reset, and we're going to be better than the year previously. So if somebody's sitting down right now, and and thinking of what they want their lives to look like, because when I think of goals, that's generally how all view it is, how do I envision myself Who do I need to be? Not that I want to change myself as a personality, but I really like to look inward and be like, what do I see for myself? What's the potential? But how do people start to build those pathways now? Because I don't know about you. But I feel like why are we waiting for just the flip of the page on the calendar, this is something we can do for ourselves at any point in time. Not only that, but right now we're all kind of saying well, and yours is right around the corner. So let's do whatever you want. It's holiday season, access, access, access, exactly. Intelligence, all jobs. And then we'll start on on January 1, if we were not to go to January 1 to be very similar to you know, you had these great intentions for Monday didn't follow through, you had a great intention for Tuesday didn't follow through, well, it's Wednesday, the weeks basically over, I'll just do whatever I want and then start to get on Monday. Absolutely. So here's the trick, though, it kind of goes to what to what I said before, less is more. So you really want to narrow it down to one thing, and I'm gonna dive into what I believe makes it stick. Whatever you choose to do. Drinking water and lemon, for example, every morning before you do anything else, I'll just use myself as an example. You must choose something that is 100%. within your control, there is no relying on anything else or any one else. Because you'll use those things as an excuse. So 100% within your control, and to 100% within your belief system. Again, don't wait till January 1 to suddenly have the excitement that will give you and I say this vote I say with all the goodness of my heart false confidence. January 1, I can do this. No. What can you do right now? What do you believe you can achieve right now. That is also 100% within your control. And then last is more little by little you pick it up? Well, and speaking to that little by little, you've worked with so many incredible individuals and helped them along their route to their goals. Talk to me about the fact this is a process because we live in a society we love quick fixes. Yeah, not gonna happen. Well, I take that back. No, I take that back actually, because I do believe sometimes people get a scare, let's say example a health scare. And overnight, you know, that person will just stop. I once remember being told that I had Candida. And so you know, I had to stop eating sugar for three months and I did overnight not one chocolate chip did it for three months. So overnight, it occurred but I will tell you didn't last forever. I've had chocolate chip since but I do believe that sometimes you know overnight there are certain behaviors. But generally speaking, it is not an overnight success. Generally speaking, it does take a long time so we have to become realistic, which is why I really like focusing on less is more and acknowledging the day to day success. Turn your passion for fitness into a career with British Columbia Personal Training Institute taught by personal trainers BC PTI combines classroom and in gym training to give you the tools needed to succeed in the fitness industry and make an impact with a simple formula focused on service science and sales person Personal Trainers learn how to gain train and retain clients visit BC pti.ca for more information. Yeah, it really is about taking those actionable steps daily because it does add up. I mean, it's an old metaphor but when I'm we live in Vancouver, we have a lot of mountains and anyone that's ever hiked to a viewpoint. You don't take one step and you're there. There's normally a lot of huffing, puffing, questioning your life choices, wondering am I really only this high, halfway there and then pressing on, but it's literally one step in front of the other. The other reality though, when we are setting these resolutions, goals, missions for ourselves, failure, it's a tough one on the mindset. So how do you help people cope with failure? Or what they perceive to be a failure? Let's say they're rounding up the year. And there's things they wanted for themselves that they promised themselves they would do. And now the years wrapping up, and they didn't get there, how do we deal with that sense of defeat? When someone comes to me in my consulting practice, and they tell me that they're upset because they had a failure? I say, good. Think about it. If you're having a failure, and you're not upset, why are you trying to do it in the first place, when you are upset, it means you care, when you are upset, it means you believed you could get something done. So to me, those are good signs. So I don't want you to get upset at yourself for getting upset. You know, I want you to, to actually look at that as a good sign. That's, that's a sign that you care and that you believed in yourself. The second is that we actually do have to reframe the story here. So I'll just go to sports, in sports coaches will say that the best athlete, not the perfect athlete, the best athlete who stands on top of the podium, at the end, is the best to recover. It's the athlete who when not if, when they make a mistake, they quickly recover. And we can all think of many professional athletes who have done this, right. You think they're you think the game is over. But nope, they recover and they win in the end. So that's what we have to understand that we're not here to be perfect, we can strive for perfection. I don't know anyone that that I've worked with, it doesn't strive for perfection, I want to be perfect. But as soon as I demand it of myself, that is unnecessary negative pressure in the form of anxiety. So when I make a mistake, how can I be the best recover? And that is how we move with failure? And what are some of your strategies to help instill that within ourselves, because I think it's fair to say that's not always an innate way of being, it's very easy for our mind to run away. And as you say, anxiety to build. Absolutely. And if we're doing you know, let's say we are focusing on sleep, and we want to go to sleep at 10 o'clock every night. And then, you know, last night, we didn't go to sleep at 10. We didn't we didn't follow through on our rituals, and we went to sleep at 1112. Well, I don't want to wait 24 hours or another 12 hours for that night to come. I want to have an immediate success. As soon as I caught myself realizing my failure. So you can have a success and nutrition you can have a success at work, you can have a success with your relationships, you can have a success with fitness, I don't want to wait until sleep, it's too far away to recover. I want to recover right now. So the the old saying, you know, just when you fall down, get back on the horse, get back on any horse, just choose your path of success and go and have an achievement right then and there. So you're not dwelling on failure, you're movement, you're moving, taking action towards success. And then when sleep does come that evening, you're more inclined to have the confidence and the energy to go to sleep when you want it to. I think that's such an amazing strategy. Just head to the ranch, grab a horse ride into the sunset. But it is true because I think then all of a sudden you're giving yourself evidence in your day that you aren't the person that you thought you were when you woke up that morning and thought I failed. I didn't do what I set out to do, you're immediately rejigging that mindset into I think a healthier state of mind to achieve those things. So such a good takeaway. You obviously spoke. I mean, we were talking about exercise and drinking water nutrition but professionals as well are people that you work with and people that we speak to at at FW. And I think that through the last couple of years, one of the most common themes I've heard is burnout and people having trouble pushing themselves to the next level. So how do you what advice do you have for people that are maybe having a little bit more trouble handling the pressure at work because again, as we round out the year that seems to be the days are darker and short. to overhear when any of those feelings start to culminate within us. It's kind of the time when we talk about pressure, kind of I kind of mentioned it a little bit before when you're upset with yourself, it's because you care. Well, if you're feeling pressure, it means somebody, maybe even you believes in you, someone or you know, including yourself as putting pressure on you, it means because they believe you can do it, you believe you can do it. So often we need to reframe that story. Burnout is really three things. And it's such a popular word now and really being used often. But burnout is definitely emotional and mental exhaustion, which we've I think most people think about. But remember, burnout is also something we call depersonalization. Basically, what that means is something you once felt connected to a project you no longer feel connected to. So it's really hard to exert the effort and focus and commit because you just don't have that internal connection. That's also what burnout is. And then burnout is also low, big word here perceived control. So even though sorry, perceived performance, so even though you're checking off the boxes, you're going to all those calls, you're sending all those emails, your you know your colleagues are getting what they need from you, you don't feel like you're doing a good enough job. And in the world of business, as in many other domains. But when we don't feel like we're doing a good enough job, we go harder, we go faster, we go longer, we sink further and further and further into that quicksand of burnout. So we need to recover. Recovery is the only way to prevent and or treat burnout. But that's actually good news. Think about it. You mentioned nutrition. I've talked about nutrition. There are so many different theories and philosophies and regimens like it's so confusing burnout, simple recovery, it's the only way to prevent it or treat it. Here's the problem. Most of us, especially in the world of business, think recovery is hours long. So when I ask people in, you know, when I'm when I'm consulting, or giving trainings and keynotes to corporate individuals, when do you recover? Don't tell me what you do. But when do you recover? What do you think they say, Chrissy, I cannot imagine either when I actually get some sleep or once you're on holiday. It's actually during sleep, vacation evenings, weekends. The story is is that I recover when I have the time. The second story is that I recover as a reward. When I get all of these things done, then I'll recover. Well, sports psychology performance psychology, professional athletes do not recover when they have the time or as a reward, it is a mandatory component of their performance program. And it needs to be Rs two, however, we don't have hours in our schedule. We have 15 minutes, 10 minutes, five minutes. So instead of looking at your clock and saying I have a call in five minutes, that's not enough time, I might as well send this next email, squeeze one more in no mandatory recovery. Take those five minutes and get outside, move your body get some fresh air best way to change your emotional state and get some energy call a loved one that's moment in time to get on social media because you only have five minutes so you're not going to fall down the rabbit hole. Get on social media get a little laughing, right check out at something that's positive and they get back into work sprint in out in in. There's a couple of things that I really appreciate that you share. But number one off the hop was reframing pressure as someone believes in you such an amazing takeaway. And then it is so true. I'm sure there's people listening that are like, yep, but sleep I get at night, the five hours before the alarm and it's not. I think it's just a matter that we don't prioritize it you are 1,000% Correct. And so the comparison if you want to operate your life, like a champion athlete, train like one carve out that space for ourselves because as you say the term itself is used exponentially. Now, whether people are throwing around burnout a little haphazardly, but I do think to a degree mentally exhausted. I'm sure a lot of people are feeling that way. So such wise advice. What are some of the common threads of healthy habits that you find are within your top performing CEOs you work with or top performing athletes that most of us could incorporate into our lives quite easily if we prioritize them? Every hour, I mean every hour move your body for one minute. Now what does that mean? It means Get up and down, just sit up and down, you know, stand up and down for five times between emails, it means take your hands open and close, open and close and go as fast as you possibly can until you feel the you know, the blood circulating. If you do have the ability to go outside, when you move your body energy starts to flow, instead of being pools, you know, in your core energy starts to throat flow throughout your body. Because it's blood that's moving. So blood is flowing, carrying oxygen can glucose carrying energy. And when you create an energized body, you're then more inclined to have the emotional and mental energy as well. And I hear people already well, I don't have time, my back to back calls. Here's the research and the top CEOs and presidents and the owners of companies know this to be true. If you take 60 minute meetings, and you make them 50 minutes, and someone is held accountable to that 15 minutes. And then you take those 10 minutes for yourself. The next meeting and the next meeting and the next meeting after you take these 10 minutes you are more efficient, you are more effective. The email gets done faster with less errors, people are more for more focused in and then at the end of the day time frees up it doesn't take you as long to get things done. So that's really the first tip. That's such an actionable step two, I think everyone can carve out a minute in their hour wheel to get up and do some of those movements. Heck, if you're on a call, you could do it at the same time. But I guess you're not giving your brain a break if that's the case, but at least the energies moving through. Absolutely. I also have one more if I can share, I would love for you to. And it's interesting this morning, I was getting a three hour training on purpose and career. Instead of asking yourself, what do I have to do next? That's what we do. Right? If we're not, if we're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, we're always like, oh, goodness, what do we have to do next? What email? Do I have to answer? What child? Do I have to attend to what dog? Do I have to ask yourself? What do you get to do next? Very similar, but very different question. What do I get to do is who do I get to support? How do I get to be challenged? And that creates energy? What do I have to do creates fatigue in my mind. And so that's one thing that we can start to trip reframe our brains with. One of the things I appreciate about you so much is so much of what you share really is simple enough that you can start it now like how we were talking about don't wait to change, because of a date in the calendar. There's so actionable and simple enough to infuse. And this is again, where people are like, Okay, well, I change one little word in my brain, what's that going to do? But cumulatively day over day, I'm sure people see massive shifts. So before we let you go here, I know you've covered a lot of these overall strategies, but you do nurture people to be champions. So what would be the big takeaways that we you would give to people from proven champions, strategies that you have shared with others? Words, athletes, our coaches are detecting and correcting. They know what we they know what a skill set looks like, right. But they individuals making certain mistakes, those are barriers, so it's detecting the barriers and then correcting them. That's what I would recommend people do. I've definitely mentioned, it kind of mentioned at the beginning, that when we're looking to how the goals we're going to set and the rituals, we're going to follow through on how we're going to improve with a with a, you know, stable minds after maybe looking at all you're doing right? So start with confidence, but then really look at you know, what are the things that I can improve on, it's not just that I want to eat healthier, were my patterns that prevent me from eating healthy. And then I want you to target those behaviors with new rituals and new goals and new habits. It's such a good thing to do almost a life audit, right? And I think that when we get really honest with ourselves, we can see the barriers most likely we've created for ourselves. And then it goes down to what you were saying with getting out of your comfort zone. We don't continue to do those things because they necessarily feel good. Or maybe take the sugar thing. It feels good in the moment. Right? You have it you get that little hit of serotonin, dopamine, you're like, whoo, good to go. But then you the crush comes and there's so many habits that I think we keep in our lives that have that crash, but it's just because it's what we know. And it feels out of place when we deviate outside of that. So your little tips here of taking that one little moment or step are so beneficial to us. One thing that I do love to leave people with is That favorite mantra or quote, and I would love because I just know I'm like, you probably have a wealth of them. So what's something that could set the tone as we're heading into the new year? Obviously, when you were talking about hiking in Vancouver, I was thinking about my mantra because my mantra really is right, left, right, left, right left. When the going when the going gets really tough for me. I know I can just take that put that right foot forward, and then I can put that left foot forward. And sometimes it isn't a hike just like to a lot of hiking to just right left, but that I love to see what what can I control right in front of me right now? What do I have control over and what do I have confidence in those two see words control and competence in my next step, right, left, right, left, right, left. Oh, that's an epic one. Thank you so much. I really appreciate such good advice to help us reset into the new year. You've just listened to all things fitness and wellness. This episode was brought to you by the British Columbia Personal Training Institute. Learn how to train gain and retain clients. Don't forget to hit like and subscribe so you never miss out on hearing from industry thought leaders and influencers. We are on a mission to help everyone live a life fit and well. You've just listened to the All Things fitness and wellness podcast hosted by Krissy Vann This episode was brought to you by fitness world your fitness your way. Be sure to hit like and subscribe. We have new podcast episodes weekly featuring industry insiders and influencers. Together we're on a mission for everyone to live a life of fit and well