Why One Ice Cream Or Brownie Turns Into "I Blew It"

164 - Many women don’t actually enjoy the ice cream, brownie, or summer treat nearly as much as they thought they would because their brain is arguing with them the entire time.

In this episode, Clarenda talks about the mental spiral that often follows food guilt and why the real exhaustion is often coming from the noise in our mind, not the food itself.

Inside this conversation:
• why summer can feel defeating when you’re trying to lose weight
• how “I already blew it” thinking creates more urges
• the emotional side of overeating and overthinking
• why all-or-nothing thinking keeps women stuck
• practical ways to pause before the spiral gains momentum

This episode will help you feel more aware, more empowered, and less emotionally drained around food and summer socializing.

Workshop Invitation:
Eat Ice Cream Without the Guilt, Overthinking, or Spiral
Tuesday, June 9 • 6:30 PM AST | 5:30 PM ET
Private Zoom Workshop • No camera required • Replay included

This workshop is designed to help women enjoy treats, vacations, BBQs, and social events without the guilt, overthinking, or “I’ll start again Monday” cycle afterward.

Click the link below to your browser to join:
https://www.clarendasempowerment.com/courses/eat-the-ice-cream

You can always find out more at:

 https://www.clarendasempowerment.com/

Transcript

0:00

Why one ice cream or brownie turns into,"I blew it." Welcome to episode 164 of the Feel Light Mind and Body podcast. This is for you if you want to enjoy ice cream or another summer treat without having the guilt, the overthinking, and spiral afterward. How good would that feel? And do you tend to work on your weight loss throughout the year, but when it comes to summer, you think it's pointless to even try? If so, you're not alone. Many women tell me that they don't even think about trying to lose weight over the summer because they don't want to feel restricted and they just want to enjoy themselves. There's more socializing, which tends to come with more temptation, and they don't want to feel like the odd woman out. I also hear, "If I try again now, Clarenda, I'm just gonna fail, and I am so tired of failing." Yep. I know that feeling. I was a social butterfly and still love to be social, but I can remember telling myself, "I'm just taking the summers off from thinking about food." I justified it because at the time I was in my late 30s, mm, yeah, late 30s, and I was teaching, uh, about seven to eight classes a week. Five of my own, and then volunteered one for the YMCA, and then one to two for a local gym, Kingswood. So true, I was active and also younger, but still, even with all of that activity, I tended to put on at least five pounds and then I'd feel frustrated again when it was time to zip up pants in order to go to work. It's common to believe that if you want to have the ice cream, strawberry shortcake, or any other thing that you find indulgent, that it's just not going to work, that you're going to go off the deep end. We either beat ourselves up and then eat more to make ourselves feel better, or as one client said this week, It's like the rebellious teenager comes out, and they just have that "I don't care attitude. I want this, and I'm going to have it." Again, it's totally normal for your brain to go there first. From my personal experience as well as experience from coaching clients, that kind of thinking is what usually leads to a disconnection from what we truly want. That is to fully enjoy life while also feeling comfortable, healthy, and confident rather than deprived and restricted. And what is interesting, yet sad, is that women don't actually enjoy the treat as much as they thought because their brain is arguing with them the whole time. Think about a hot summer day. You've been outside for hours and you decide this is the perfect time to stop and have an ice cream. It looks delicious. It tastes cold and good. Yet within minutes or even seconds, that thought pops up, "Ugh, I'm gonna end up gaining weight from this." So instead of simply enjoying it, you start feeling bad while you're eating it. Now your brain is stuck in two different experiences at once. One part of you wants the pleasure and enjoyment, while at the same time another part is already calculating the damage and thinking, "I'll start again tomorrow."" I promise to be good," or maybe it's,"I've already blown it, so I'm just gonna keep on going." And because the experience no longer feels fulfilling, your brain starts to create an urge for you to have more to give you some relief and to help you feel better. That's how that cycle continues because you think you're already off, so you might as well keep going, and that battle is exhausting. I remember one woman telling me last summer that she was at a get-together and she was laughing and talking with everyone, but in the back of her mind, she was already fretting, thinking maybe she shouldn't have had that dessert. She realized that it really wasn't what she ate that was the problem, it was the noise in her mind. It was what she was making that mean. That was the problem. That was what was actually feeling like she's disconnecting from those and not being present, and she hated that. That's what I want women to be free of because there's a big difference between thoughtfully having something or emotionally reacting to the food. When we feel frustrated, restricted, or deprived, we start to ignore certain signs like the waistband getting tighter, and we just move into more flowy dresses or loose blouses. But the old saying that "ignorance is bliss" really isn't that true. Usually there's a lot of mental chatter happening in the background. Eating or drinking may quiet it temporarily, but then it tends to resurface in a way that leaves you feeling heavy and frustrated or discouraged. And that affects more than just your weight. It affects how you enjoy being with yourself, as well as how you feel being around your friends and family. The "I should have" or "I shouldn't have had," those thoughts tend to get louder and weigh you down. And if you've been following me for a while, you know I'm not a proponent of the all-or-nothing thinking. I'm also not a proponent of the all-or-nothing eating. And if this is your first time finding me, welcome. I'm Clarenda Price, and I help women feel lighter in their mind and body, literally. They lose weight using a simple, effective, and unique approach that fits with their lifestyle and one that will be sustainable. My Feel Light Mind and Body signature program was developed after 21 years of Nursing, being a Personal Trainer, and then Life and Weight Loss Coach. That coaching piece was the missing link for my mission in helping women live a fulfilling and empowered life full of vitality, inspiration, and freedom of choice. That's especially important as we age, or should I say as we mature. Because knowledge alone doesn't always mean things will change. Support, insight, awareness, and learning how to work with your thoughts and your emotions, that's what creates lasting change. It helps things come together faster and with a lot less struggle. One of the first things I help women with is to recognize that the spiral starts often way before the food even enters the picture. It often starts with thoughts like, " I'm taking this weekend off," or, "I need a break.""I deserve this after the day that I've had." And the famous one, "I've been good all day," or, "I've been good all week, so this one won't matter." Those thoughts create feelings and those feelings drive the reaction. They also become habits or associations. You may think, "Well, when I'm with so-and-so or when I'm at a certain event, this is what I always have." Those are examples of why white-knuckling it, especially over the summer, usually doesn't last. It's also why I'm committed to working with women over the summer so they can get good results. You can still do all the things. Last summer or the summer before, there were three campers who they loved to go away for the weekends or for a week, and they could not believe how freeing it was to not be obsessing over the food. It even made their packing easier, and when they returned home, there wasn't as much stuff that they had to then take out of the fridge or put in the counters and all of that. And the bonus was they even continued to lose weight, which is pretty cool. So a simple takeaway that I want to leave you with is to get out ahead of it. So rather than waiting for the spiral to happen, when you are around tempting food, you're starting to have that thought, just pause. Even if it's just for 30 seconds, and then you can ask one of these three

questions: 8:20

What am I thinking or feeling? Do I think that this food will make me feel better? Or how do I really want to feel after this? Your answer to your question, or if you answered all questions, can completely change the direction you're going to take. In fact, I don't want it to be from restriction or shame. I want it to be self-honoring now that you're aware. Because when you become more intentional, you'll be less disempowered around food. What I'm excited to offer you right now is that this summer you can feel lighter in your mind and body while being around ice cream or any dessert that you want, and it not put you into overthinking, guilt, or a spiral. You can substitute in whatever you think that is your temptation, whatever you say, "Ugh, that normally derails me." What if it could be different? What if it didn't have to keep going that way? I can confidently tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. On Tuesday, June 9th, I'm hosting a private virtual 75-minute workshop called Eat the Ice Cream Without the Overthinking, Guilt, or Spiral. Registration is required and a replay will be available to you in case you can't attend it live or some love to watch it again. However, if you do join live, you'll also be able to ask me questions through a private chat that'll only come to me, and that keeps you anonymous for the other people that's attending, in case that's important to you. I want everyone to feel comfortable and supported and at ease to be able to ask any question. You can even let me know what your doubts or challenges are ahead of time if you want to DM me, or you can simply reply to the welcome email that you'll receive with all the details. You'll also receive two practical downloadable tools that will help you apply what you learn. One to help you move forward quickly after eating more than you planned, and one to help you feel good at the end of the day, to be able to reflect, feel proud, decide what you want to change another time without having to beat yourself up. This is a private Zoom workshop and no camera on is required. There may also be an opportunity to have live coaching if you do wanna come on camera for those who want added support. That'll be if there's time at the end, depending on how many questions come into the chat. Who is this workshop for? It's for women with various goals. And you know, you may arrive with one goal, but after being part of it, you may decide to change that goal. I'm hoping that you will leave seeing that it's doable and feeling inspired. So it's for women who they want to maintain over the summer. They also want to feel more confident in their choices, which may include some splurges. For those women, losing a few pounds would simply be a bonus. It might help them feel better when they're putting on a dress for an event or just being around the pool. They might feel more comfortable. It's also for women who would love to lose 10-20 pounds over the next 3 months while still enjoying summer, socializing, and fun. And yes, it's also for women who are at their ideal weight, but they feel they have to work really hard to maintain it, and they're quite frankly tired of white-knuckling it. If you identified with one of those categories or you simply have your own personal reason of why you want to feel lighter this summer, I'm here to help you. This could very well be your most enjoyable and empowered summer. Imagine how settling it would be to feel more connected with yourself and others. You can save your seat by clicking the link in the show notes. Then get excited to feel that spark of hope that this summer does not have to be a write-off. It can be filled with joy and satisfaction that lasts. That's the kind of fulfilling summer that I want, and I can't wait to bring a community of women along with me. So why not you? And why not now? You are so worth taking this time, making it a priority for yourself. Just click on the link in the description while you're here now because we know how noisy this world is and how it can quickly be "out of sight, out of mind." I hope to see you inside, and just know, I believe in you.