Not Your Typical Self-Care Tips (Powerful!)

165 - What if some of the most important forms of self-care aren't the ones we usually think about?

In this episode, I share 7 powerful ways to support your health, energy, mindset, and well-being that go far beyond massages and bubble baths.

We'll talk about things like protecting your sleep, building support, stepping outside your comfort zone, focusing on what you can control, solving root problems, and recognizing when your nervous system needs attention.

If you've been feeling depleted, overwhelmed, or like you're constantly putting yourself last, this episode is for you.

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TONIGHT, June 9th, 6:30-7:45 pm AST (5:30-6:45 pm ET)

Eat the Ice Cream Without the Guilt, Overthinking, or Spiral

If you've ever found yourself enjoying a treat and then spending far more energy thinking about it afterward, this workshop is for you. Join me for a practical and supportive conversation that can help you enjoy summer with more freedom, confidence, and peace of mind.

https://www.clarendasempowerment.com/courses/eat-the-ice-cream

And if you'd like to explore what support could look like for you, book a complimentary 20-minute consult.

https://calendly.com/clarendasempowerment/exclusive-20-mins-session

Subscribe for weekly episodes on mindset, health, sustainable weight loss, and living with more energy, peace, and ease.

#SelfCare #WomenOver50 #MindsetMatters

You can always find out more at:

 https://www.clarendasempowerment.com/

Transcript

0:00

Self-care and self-love are different, yet they're definitely connected. Both are things that we know are beneficial and even necessary if we want to live an optimized life. An AI overview describes self-care as the actions we take to support our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing, while self-love is more about how we value, accept, and relate to ourselves internally. And I think that's a pretty good distinction. So today we'll talk about self-care, and next time we'll go into self-love. What comes to mind when you think of self-care? Usually it's something to do with pampering or resting or reward. For this episode titled "Not Your Typical Self-Care Tips", my purpose is to expand and challenge what your definition of self-care truly is about. I first expanded what we typically think when we say true self-care back in episode number 50 called "Discover True Self-Care: It's Not What You Think." Since then, I've learned a few more things through my own experiences as well as coaching hundreds of women. Some of these might not feel like self-care. They might feel uncomfortable. But that doesn't make them any less valuable. If you're new here, I'm Clarenda Price, a former Registered Nurse, Personal Trainer, and Certified Life and Weight Loss Coach. I help women create sustainable changes that support their mind and body. They can then feel more energized, supported, and live a life that feels healthy and enjoyable and in a way that is sustainable. So let's dive into a few forms of self-care that you might not have thought of yet or at least put them in the category of self-care. I do think that many of you will resonate with number one, especially if you're in your 50s like I am, and we're starting to become aware that getting healthier is self-care. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is better health. The challenge is this kind of self-care usually requires things that aren't so comfortable. It takes more time, money, consistency, focus, and a commitment, but it is so worthwhile. The return on your investment is huge. When I think about self-care, I think about things like protecting my sleep. Years ago, I didn't feel that way. As the youngest of four children, I formed a belief at a very young age that going to bed early wasn't fair. My brother was five years older than me, and then I had a sister seven years and 10 years. So of course, they got to stay up later, and I'd go to bed hearing them laughing, maybe still playing a game, or just know that they were up reading with their lights on, and I couldn't do that. I always felt like I was missing out. I had extreme FOMO, especially on a Friday night. My mom stayed up really late as well, and we've talked about this and she said,"Yeah, I was a night hawk because that's the only time that I had time to myself." And maybe some of you watching can relate as well, that that's your only me-time. It's the only time that no one's calling your name. So our childhood experiences can influence how we see things, and sometimes we're not even aware of it. I still have a little bit of FOMO if I'm thinking something else is more interesting and I'm going to bed. Right now with it not being dark, I feel like I can't go to bed before it's dark. And yet I know if I can get to sleep by 10:00, I am setting myself up for a much better day. I know I'll have better energy, more focus, and give my body time for it to do its thing, to rest and repair. So self-care isn't always about adding something. Think of it as also protecting something. That's especially important when we think of this number one about building better health. Number two is build support around yourself. Creating a support system, investing in a support system that makes your journey easier and more enjoyable, that is self-care. Trying to do everything alone is frustrating. It can feel lonely, and it really isn't necessary. One of the reasons that community works so well is because it reminds us that we're not alone, that we're all human, that other people are having a hard day or have had a difficult time at work, and we can still get through things. They're also messing up, learning, growing, and figuring out things. I also believe that coaching is a form of self-care. It's not always that we need someone to tell us what to do, it's that it's showing us what we can't see ourselves. Everyone has blind spots, and I know when that's been shown to me, I was like, "Whoa, I didn't even realize that I was thinking that or doing that." So yes, I, even as a coach, I invest in coaches. They say the best coaches have a coach. And that's important. I do that for business, for my personal life, relationships, but most importantly, for keeping a healthy mind and body. I believe in investing because I want to clean out those cobwebs, and it's just so much easier when someone else is there and acting as your mirror. Reflecting back to you what maybe you can't quite see yourself. If I'm carrying around unhelpful beliefs or unresolved stress, even resentment, I want to know. And I often can't see that myself, or I might see it, but it feels too big to tackle alone. So I don't believe in staying stuck. So if someone else has had the experience, has the knowledge, or simply understands because they've been there in some form in life, then I want to work with that person. That doesn't mean I'm not capable,'cause I'm very capable, and I can help clients get the results that they want, but we can't often see our blind spots. I view my mental, my physical, my spiritual, my emotional health as my greatest wealth. Taking care of them isn't selfish. I know Bri's happy when I do this because it means I'm going to be able to stay strong and independent. And me being healthier will make it easier on her 20 years from now, 30 years from now. Number three is get uncomfortable on purpose. And yes, that might surprise you a bit, but it's very important that we step out of our comfort zone to take us to the next level. I can think of a very recent example from last weekend. There was one woman who definitely stepped out of her comfort zone. She signed up for the workshop and showed up not knowing anyone there except for me, and that was from years ago in childhood and then again in our group program. It would've been easy for her to just stay home and say, "Oh, maybe next time." She may have even had thoughts of, "What if I don't fit in?" Or,"What if I get teary?" " What if everyone already knows each other?" Those are typical and normal thoughts that we have when we go to step out of our comfort zone. And that's just because the primitive brain is doing its job, trying to keep you safe and comfortable and not put yourself in harm's way. I say harm's way because that is the survival part of your brain. So the great news is she was able to override that, work through it, and show up anyway. And she learned a lot, she connected, she did have a few tears a few times, but she wasn't alone. She felt seen and heard and connected. She got to experience something new and was challenged in the very best way. So remember, self-care is sometimes about feeling discomfort. But it's about choosing the discomfort that helps you move forward instead of the discomfort of staying stuck. Number four, focus on what you can control. One thing I've learned is that I don't feel good when I spend too much time focusing on things I can't change. I can care. I can have compassion. I can stay informed. But if I can't take action on something, then it leaves me feeling helpless and hopeless and often overwhelmed. I don't believe, at least for myself, that is self-care. Self-care is directing your attention to something that you can actually take action on. If there's a way to make a difference, then make a difference. Your choices, reactions, habits, conversations, all of these things are within your control. Even small actions can restore a sense of agency. And agency feels a whole lot better than helplessness. Number five, schedule fun and connection before life just fills that space. Many of us schedule work, appointments, deadlines, all of those things without adding in the fun and enjoyment. Then we feel surprised when life feels heavy or we feel drained. So if something matters to you, something high in your values, then make sure you mark it in. You've probably heard if it's not scheduled, if it's not marked down, it most likely won't happen. And then of course, it can't just be marked in, you need to follow through and honor that. I'm still a work in progress in this area, but I know when I do follow through, it feels so good. I love time with family and friends or biking, hiking, basically anything in nature, or even reading. But you know what else I find feels like true self-care? It's quite surprising… is when I take the time to clean out a closet, especially my clothes closet, because when that feels organized, it feels lighter. And then when that feels lighter and calmer, that's how my brain, my mind, and body reflects that as well. So the self-care activity really doesn't matter. It's how you feel afterwards. Number six, solve the real problem. I love massages. Like hands down, it's one of my favorite self-care things. But a massage often treats the symptoms, not the source. It provides temporary relief, like I could use that right now. But if the stress pattern remains, the tension will return. The same thing happens emotionally and mentally. So going for a walk feels good. Having time to spend in meditation or writing, that is all helpful. Vacations are fun and a good break from work. But if we never address what is actually underlying, what's creating that stress, and look for a solution for it, it's just a matter of time before we need another escape. And those are temporary. And you've probably been there, where then you feel you, like you need another and another. Or you are using food, and then that's creating more problems, and it's really not true self-care. Sometimes self-care looks like having that difficult conversation, making a decision, setting the boundary, looking for support to help you find a solution to solve the problem. It could also be addressing the thing you've been avoiding. Because relief feels good, pleasure feels good, but the real relief comes from when we can solve what is creating the stress in the first place. And solving it doesn't necessarily mean changing the circumstance, 'cause 9 times out of 10 you can't change that. But the way your perception, the way you're viewing it, and the way it's impacting your nervous system, that's what support and help can help you with. And last but not least, number seven, downregulate earlier. Pay attention to the first signs that indicate that your nervous system is becoming overloaded. Don't wait until you're exhausted. Or wait until you're snapping at people. Or your body is screaming at you just trying to get your attention. Notice earlier signs like tension in your neck or your back, mental spinning, or feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. Choose to respond now so that you don't react later. Yes, you might feel irritated now, but that could lead to an even bigger emotion later. And I know for me, I find it best not to even respond sometimes unless it's to say, "I need a minute." And then I step outside and I take some deep breaths in. And I put some space between it. That's self-care, but it's also protecting a relationship. Other things you can do is just simply sit quietly. Others may want to move, walk that energy out of their body. It could be something comforting like if you have a, a pet. I don't have one right now, but if I had a dog, I'd pet my dog. In the past, I've pet my cat. And just the purring, that actually does help regulate your nervous system. You could also cuddle with your husband if he's not the source of your stress. If he's the calm one, that can be a bit of a co-regulating as long as he's in agreement to that. Maybe it's calling a friend and saying,"Hey, can we meet for a coffee or going for a walk?" Just do something that you know will soothe and make your nervous system feel safe again. The earlier you intervene, the less recovery and possibly the less repair you have to do in a relationship. As we wrap up, this is your permission slip that for the next little while, you can make this time your priority time. Time to focus on yourself. This is especially important if your health is at risk mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. It's not because you don't care about others. You do. But remember, it's difficult to pour into others when your own cup has been depleted for quite a while. The healthier you become, the more energy and patience and love that you're going to have to pour into them. And the difference is when you've taken care of yourself, you can pour without feeling like you're depleted. And that benefits everyone. Now, if you're listening to this on Tuesday, June 9th, then you're just on time because tonight is the only workshop for Eat the Ice Cream Without The Guilt, Overthinking, or Spiral. It's on Zoom, no camera required. You can even be in your PJs if you want.

It starts at 6: 15:11

30 Atlantic Standard Time, which is 5:30 Eastern Time. We're gonna talk about all things summer and treats, the temptations, and what to do about it, and how to enjoy your summer so much in control. As well as having the energy and enjoyment. Doesn't have to be all or nothing. That's what I'm about. That's how I'm here to be able to help you and to empower you to make this summer your best one yet. Next time we'll continue with episode 166 it'll be, and we'll do that on self-love. And who knows? Maybe we'll make this into a miniseries. And if we do, you're gonna want to make sure you're subscribed. Hit the little bell so that you will get a notification, especially for time-sensitive things like tonight's workshop. You might be just hearing about it for the first time. In fact, you might have just been scrolling and found me for the first time. So thank you, I appreciate you, and I would love to hear if there was something said today that has you thinking. Let me know. I always love hearing from you.