Stop Asking "Is This Working?"

173 - When you’re trying to lose weight or get healthier, it makes sense to want some evidence that your efforts are paying off. But how often are you checking, and what are you using as proof?

In Episode 173, we’re talking about how to evaluate your progress in a way that actually helps you decide what to keep doing and what may need to change.

We’ll look at why one result rarely tells the whole story, how easily evaluation can turn into self-criticism, and what to pay attention to before deciding something “isn’t working.”

If you’re heading into a new season wanting to make some changes, this episode will help you approach them with more useful information instead of immediately looking for proof that you’re finally getting it right.

If you’d like some help with your own next steps, book a complimentary 20-minute consultation with me. We’ll talk about what you want to change and whether the fall Feel Light Mind & Body Experience could be a good fit.

Book your complimentary consultation here.

You can always find out more at:

 https://www.clarendasempowerment.com/

Transcript

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Stop asking, "Is this working?" Have you ever decided that you're going to make some healthier changes and then almost immediately start evaluating if it's working or not? That's pretty common. Maybe you decided you're going to start prioritizing protein and cut out some of the packaged food or have consistent walking into your daily life. Maybe it's even weight training. And then you start watching. You start checking, are my clothes fitting better? When's my energy going to pick up? Shouldn't I be noticing something by now? And if you don't see the evidence you were hoping for quickly enough, you start to make it mean, or at least question, "is this working?" You start questioning what you're doing. Am I eating enough? Maybe I should eat less. Hmm, I'm doing weights 4 to 5 times a week, but maybe that's not enough. Amy said she fasts a few times a week, so maybe I should look into that. Or this time of the year, you might be looking back over the season and going, "Yeah, that didn't work very well. I need to get serious again." Today I want to talk about that question: "Is this working?" Because I don't think it's always giving us the information that we need. Welcome to the Feel Light Mind and Body Podcast, Episode 173. I'm Clarenda Price, a Certified Life and Weight Loss Coach. And prior to that, I was a Nurse for 21 years and a Personal Trainer and Group Fitness Leader. I now bring all that knowledge and experience together to help women get healthier, lose weight, and enjoy their life fully. And I want them to know how to take care of themselves, mind and body, long after the weight comes off. Before we dive in, if you're watching this on YouTube, hit "subscribe". And if you're listening to this on your favorite podcast app like Spotify or Apple Podcast, hit "follow." That way you won't miss an episode like this. It may seem like an insignificant step, but trust me, it is so valuable. It makes a big difference. It helps me reach more women who could benefit from these conversations. So, thank you. I appreciate it. Now, I definitely believe in evaluating. I mean, I talk about that a lot. If something genuinely isn't giving you the results, then of course I don't want you to do that for 6 months. Sometimes we can be committed, stubborn, determined, whatever you want to call it, and say, "Nope, I committed to doing this for 6 months." But where we can get into trouble is checking to see if everything is working. And then if it's not right away, we start to change it before we really give it a chance. We need to do it long enough so that we can learn what's happening to know what to change. I think September, even going into October, is a great time to talk about this because we're coming off of vacation times, having probably more social events, family visiting, eating out or eating along the way, later nights, and really less structure. Just yesterday, five of us met at a friend's lake house, and we were going for lunch in the afternoon and thought we would be back before dark. But none of us wanted to leave, and we just spontaneously checked in and thought, "Can we do this?" Some didn't have toothbrushes. Luckily, I did. But we stayed the night. We just crashed, had a great time, and left at noon today. So once we get back into our regular schedules, those things probably aren't gonna happen, or at least not as frequently. Collectively as a society, I just think we're all falling back into that fall routine. So now you might be taking stock. You might be checking in on your weight. You might be digging out clothes from the closet for, "Oh, okay, cooler weather's coming. What's going to fit this fall?" You might be evaluating "what habits did I continue to do through the summer?" How did I eat? Did I focus more on the veggies from the garden and the markets, or was there a lot of extra fried food or just extra eating out that was happening? And maybe it was a combo. Did I exercise as much as I had planned on it? Did I follow through with what I said I was going to do? So yes, that's evaluating. That's questioning, that's looking back, that's collecting evidence. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I find it's very useful. But I don't want you to sum up an entire season with, "I blew it," or, "I did great." Neither one tells you very much. Maybe you wanted to lose weight, but you didn't. Okay, good to know. Now, what else happened? We don't want to brush past the fact that you didn't lose weight when maybe you said you wanted to, or that you didn't start working out when you said, "I think I'll have more time this summer. I want to start a strength training program." So we're not brushing past that, but we want to look at the full picture. Often people will say, "Yeah, I didn't lose weight this summer at all," but they maintained it. When I ask more questions, it's like, "Yeah, every summer I'm usually going between three and seven pounds." Well, great. We need to honor that and give credit where credit's due. You might have eaten out more because you were traveling, but this time you stopped at enough. You never ate until you were stuffed. Or maybe you had an ice cream or a sundae, and instead of thinking, "I blew it," and keep eating this and this and this, you just said, "That's good. That was my treat, and I'm done." Just stopping that thought of, "Ugh, I got to start again on Monday," that's huge. That's a win! Maybe you're a woman who said,"I'm just taking a break from anything to do with weight loss this summer." So how did it go? Maybe you said, "It was awesome. I didn't have to think about it at all, and I just really enjoyed my summer." Awesome. But also ask yourself, don't be afraid to do this, how do I feel physically? How did I feel physically through the summer? How was my energy levels? How are my clothes fitting now and do I like that? Did you miss feeling like,"Ooh, I'm in control here, and I like the choices I'm making"? Or did the feeling of just, "I don't have to think about anything" trump it? That's good to know as well. I think a great bottom line question is, knowing what I know now, would I do the same thing again? And if not, what would I like to change? So that we can prepare for maybe the holiday season coming up December and January, or vacation season happening next year, or even next summer. Instead of trying to make the summer good or bad, we're learning from it now to set you up for success later. Simply saying it didn't work if you were wanting to lose five to 10 pounds over the past six months, I want you to get specific and say, "what didn't work?" Was there something about the plan that needs to change? Were you actually doing it consistently? Were there more exceptions than you realized? That's one that can creep up on me. And it's also good to know if you found that the approach was so complicated that you just simply decided you didn't want to do it anymore. So notice if you were doing quite a few good things, you're like, "Oh, well, that was a healthy choice, and that was a healthy choice," but it wasn't enough to actually get the result that you wanted. Sometimes we genuinely believe that we're doing the right things and then feel confused when nothing is changing. This is when we need to be willing to look at what's actually happening instead of going by our overall impression of how we think it's going. Let's go back to strength training as an example. You start lifting weights and you're consistent for two weeks, and then you step on the scale and nothing's changed So, is strength training working? Well, what is it that you're expecting it to do? If the only evidence you're looking for is the scale number to go down, you might decide that no, it's not working. Those weights aren't doing anything for me. Meanwhile, you could be getting stronger. You might not be lifting heavy enough weights yet like enough to challenge your muscles. And then we can overlook if we're doing things well, but the number hasn't changed yet. We're missing things like I'm building my bone density up. You're supporting your bones. You're giving your body a reason to build muscle. It needs it. It's getting the extra stimulation, the extra resistance. And you're developing a really valuable habit that's going to help you age in a way that keeps you feeling capable and independent and strong. That's why I don't want you using your body weight as the only measure for progress. And if your overall goal is also fat loss, we still have to look at overall if what you're doing is decreasing your fat, especially the visceral fat. That's the fat deeper around the organs, and it's one that I'm particularly interested in because of its link to cardiovascular risk. Now, I don't want us changing the definition of success just so we can say that we're doing it right. Just so we can tell ourselves that everything is working. You know me. I want you to get results. I want you to get lasting results. So we need to know what results we're evaluating and if we've given ourselves enough time to reach that result. I see this quite often. We make a change, and then automatically we start watching for something to tell us it's working. And I understand that having proof is very helpful, especially if you've been trying to lose weight and keep it off for years. You don't want to spend another month doing something and then realizing it's not what's working for your body. The point I want to make is that we can become so anxious and change things up and believe something's not working without giving it the amount of time or the amount of commitment that it requires. That's the only way we're going to know what is helping and what's not. I think about this with gardening. You all know I love my gardening. If I planted something and then kept digging it up to see if the roots are growing, I'd be interfering with the very thing I'm trying to do. I'm trying to grow something and yet I'm sabotaging it by checking it every so often. Now, if you follow me on my personal Facebook page, you'll see that I have a little saboteur maybe. I have a raccoon that's coming up onto my patio, even with me sitting there, and it's digging up my plants. So just a side note, not making me very happy. So I want you to think about that and remember this because we do a version of that with our health habits quite often. We start something new. We do it for a while, then we might not be getting the results we think. And we see someone else doing something and we think, "Oh, maybe I should jump ship and go and do that." So we do, and then again, a few weeks later, "Well, no, this seems to be the one," and we jump ship again. So then how do we know exactly what we're evaluating? That's one of the reasons I like to decide what is it exactly I'm focusing on now and how long, I kind of hypothesize it at first, how long before I realistically think that it's going to require to get the result that I want. I know in my business I can guess about something or I can talk to my business coach who has that experience, has that knowledge, and it might not be the exact same as them, but they're able to give me some insight and guidance. So let's look at an example. What if you decided, "I'm going to start paying attention to how much fiber I'm getting"? Instead of just thinking, "Well, I'm eating a lot of veggies, so I'm probably getting enough fiber in," or, "I had a really good day today. I ate lots of veggies." But you really don't know. So you could decide to track fiber for a week. That will give you information. I know for me, I was like, "Whoa, I thought I was getting enough, but I'm really not." So I was able to change that. I'm thinking of one client right now who decided she was going to use the optional fiber tracker that we have inside the Feel Light membership. By paying closer attention to how much she was getting before and now course-correcting it, she's just noticing that her digestion is feeling better. And that includes her bowel movements, and she's also noticing the changes in her hunger. That's useful feedback from her body. So now she has something to move forward with. She can continue to work with this and see what the lasting results are going to be. You too can start increasing your fiber and start to notice what happens to your hunger. How do you feel in your digestion? Hnd how satisfied are you after a meal? That gives you a lot more information than simply asking, "Is this working?" And you can see how actually having some data helps. Because sometimes what we think we've been doing and what we're actually doing are two different things. Perhaps you plan to do strength training 3 times a week, and then at the end of the month. Because you've tracked, you realize,"Oh, I only did it 4 times in the entire month instead of 12 to 13." So it wouldn't make sense to conclude that, well, I had a plan of working 3 to 4 times out a week, and it just didn't work. The fact is you actually didn't test that out yet. The real question will be, "Okay, what happened? Why did I only do the 4 times?" Was 3 times a week not realistic with everything else you had going on? Did you keep planning to exercise later in the day? I'm guilty of that one. And then everything else just started happening, and suddenly you felt too tired. It's easy to let things take over. But acknowledging it is so important to help us move forward. Think about if you chose workouts that you just didn't enjoy. Maybe you were focusing on the trainer's voice or the way they were doing things, and you just avoided doing it. That's okay. Good to know. Or maybe you simply didn't have it high on your values list as a priority to do it. So answering these questions gives you something specific to work with. I also want you to notice what happens next. Are you simply looking at what actually happened or are you starting to make it mean something about you? What you've just discovered is very helpful. It's collecting evidence. Whereas if you hadn't done that and you just said, "I'm just not consistent," that's where you're judging yourself. Then that can start picking up momentum and we add more things to it."I always do this." "Why can't I stick to anything?" "Here we go again". None of that helps you understand what happened or what you want to do differently. You've moved away from the facts and into all the emotion of what you think this says about you. And this is where I often see what my client can't see yet. When we're looking at our own results, we're bringing all of our past attempts and temporary successes into it. A number on the scale may remind you of how much you weighed five years ago, how much you think you should weigh now. The last diet you tried or how much weight you've regained since the last time. As a coach, I get to look at all of the data of what's happening right now without having all the emotion around it. We can look at what you're actually doing, what's getting results, what might be missing, and what we simply want to adjust. My nursing and fitness backgrounds come into this too. If losing weight is your goal, then of course I want to help you lose weight. I care about what you care about. But I'm also looking at the overall picture. I want to know how your sleep is. What do your hair and nails and skin look like and feel like? How strong are you feeling? What's your energy like? What's it on a scale of 1 to 10? Where would you rate that? What are you eating and when? And have that conversation with you to say, "What are you actually doing and that you're willing to do and that you know you're capable of doing?" I don't want to just know your number. I want to know about the kind of life that you're wanting to create and the vitality you want to feel as you experience life. Because I don't want you to just lose weight. I want you to learn how to navigate all of life's changes. All the different stages of life. Taking care of yourself, your mind, and your body. So think of one thing you've been wondering about your health lately. Instead of stopping at, "Is this working?" Get more specific. What am I expecting this to help me with? How do I think I will feel when I get that result? What could I look at to know whether I am making progress? And have I actually been doing it consistently or long enough to know? Then look at the answer without turning it into a bigger story about yourself. Be truthful, but be kind. You might realize something genuinely has to change. Good. Now you have a reason to change it. You could see that what you're doing makes sense, but you haven't been doing it as consistently as you thought. Or there may be signs of progress that you've been missing because you've only been thinking and focusing on one thing, which often is a number. This, my friend, is how we get better at taking care of ourselves. We pay attention to what's been happening, learn from it, and make adjustments. And before we finish, I want to come back to this time of the year. Be careful about coming into a new season with the thoughts that I need to go really hard on this because you don't like the results that you're seeing right now. You're unhappy with how you showed up the last season. That urgency can feel productive. It can be motivating at the beginning because you're getting a dopamine hit. There's a natural surge that happens. You make a new plan, you tighten everything up, and you get really excited and expecting to see quick results. Sometimes you even do for the first couple of weeks, and then when it starts to peter off, you start thinking, "Is this working?" There's so much that's happening in the background… inside your body. Even inside your mind. So please give yourself enough time before you make that conclusion. And then yes, don't be afraid to make changes. To think, "Well, I thought that was the right way to go, but it's not working now." Like genuinely not working. Then when the evidence is telling you that, make the needed changes. No judgment needed, just take that next action step. We want an approach that makes sense, but also is going to give you the life that you want to keep on living. If you're listening to this and thinking,"Oh, I need some help with this," or, "It would feel so good to be supported," then book your free 20-minute consult with me. And I think the timing is so good right now because you can join the Fall Feel Light Mind and Body program. You can have the community, the coaching, and the support all the way up to a week or two before Christmas. Think about what could change from now until then if you had that weekly support. Instead of getting to December thinking,"Okay, I'm definitely gonna have to do this in January," you're already far on your way or maybe even at your result. And you are feeling more energetic. You're sleeping better. You're looking better. You're enjoying being in pictures again. And you have a better understanding of what true self-care is. Now, Feel Light Mind and Body won't be a fit for everybody, so I don't want you to just say, "Oh, I'm gonna start now," just from motivation. But don't hesitate to book a consult. I'll have a couple of questions that's going to help us determine whether this is the right fit for you and the right timing. There's no pressure to join. We'll simply chat. We'll find out where you are now, what's been getting in your way, and then see if Feel Light makes sense for you. So if getting healthier this fall is top of mind, you can find the consult link right in the show notes. Until next time, make it a great week.