Shatter the chains of unforgiveness and discover liberation on the other side of resentment. In this episode, I'll reveal the truth behind six myths surrounding forgiveness that often serve as barriers on the road to alcohol freedom.
We'll unpack why forgiving is not a sign of weakness, nor does it pave the way for future harm. This episode promises to peel away the layers of misunderstanding that equate forgiveness with approval of wrongdoings, reaffirming that true forgiveness is an act of strength that empowers personal healing without necessitating reconciliation or erasing memories.
Embark on a sacred journey as we harness the transformative energy of forgiveness through prayer, setting the stage for deep, personal healing.
Shatter the chains of unforgiveness and discover liberation on the other side of resentment. In this episode, I'll reveal the truth behind six myths surrounding forgiveness that often serve as barriers on the road to alcohol freedom.
We'll unpack why forgiving is not a sign of weakness, nor does it pave the way for future harm. This episode promises to peel away the layers of misunderstanding that equate forgiveness with approval of wrongdoings, reaffirming that true forgiveness is an act of strength that empowers personal healing without necessitating reconciliation or erasing memories.
Embark on a sacred journey as we harness the transformative energy of forgiveness through prayer, setting the stage for deep, personal healing.
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast Minisode. These shorter episodes provide quick tips and information that you can refer back to when you need it most so you can achieve and maintain your desired level of sobriety. I am your sobriety coach and host of this podcast, christi Walker. Let's get started. Christi Walker, let's get started. In today's mini-sode, I'm going to bust six myths related to forgiveness. Now I'm doing this shorter episode on these myths or lies that many of us believe about forgiveness in preparation for a longer episode that will come out following this one.
Speaker 1:
And what prompted me to do this episode is it's actually a few things. So the first thing is that on Sunday nights, before my family and I pray our family rosary, we like to listen. Well, actually, we watch it on YouTube Father Mike Schmitz's homilies. We like to listen to him. He always has some great wisdom. Everyone in our family, from my husband and I all the way down to our youngest, we really appreciate his insight, his humor, his wisdom and all of the things that he teaches. Well, on Divine Mercy Sunday, he gave just a powerful, incredible homily that really touched me and it has stuck with me for the weeks following, and I will go ahead and leave a link to that in the show notes below, because if you are hopefully going to listen to my next episode, then you might want to go ahead and watch that ahead of time Because I'll be referencing it a little bit. But the main point of that homily was on justice and mercy. That stuck out to me and he talked about at great lengths is that our greatest wound is a wound of distrust, and this goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden and after I listened to his talk and then I'm actually a student at Encounter School of Ministry and we are in our inner healing course, so a lot of the topics of forgiveness and healing and trauma are really coming up a lot for me.
Speaker 1:
I'm also doing in my Bible study we do at my parish. We've done Walking with Purpose, the Walking with Purpose Bible studies for years. I think this is our eighth year and we are working through one called Fearless and Free and honestly, fearless and Free is one that I have kind of been pushing off for a long time because it's very deeply reflective and I'm actually really loving it and I wish that I hadn't have put it off for so long. But I do see that I probably put it off, because now is the perfect time. God is just like putting things in front of me over and over again that are just like connecting dots and just helping me help all of you.
Speaker 1:
And so today's episode Minnesota I wanted to share some of the lies that we believe believe about forgiveness, because unforgiveness is a barrier. Unforgiveness keeps us stuck and unforgiveness it just perpetuates even more distrust in others, ourselves and even with our relationship with God. So I want to go over that today, and then in my next episode I will talk more about the wound of distrust, how certain types of trauma can cause that and what we can do about it, how we can go about healing that so that we can get unstuck and move forward with life and wanting to be the people that God created us to be, and it'll help us grow closer to God. And when we can trust God more, then we are far less likely to turn to things of this world, like alcohol or scrolling or shopping or whatever, to fill a void within us. Okay, so let's get to it.
Speaker 1:
So one of the myths about forgiveness is that often we think that forgiveness means lowering my defenses and opening myself up to being hurt again. But here's the truth Forgiving doesn't require you to sacrifice your boundaries. You need to keep healthy boundaries in place and it's not about inviting harm back in your life. Forgiveness is purely an act of the will. It's not an emotion. It is a choice. You're taking an action to forgive, but you are in no way asked to lower defenses in such a way that it could cause harm to you in the future. So if you have set healthy boundaries for someone who has harmed you in the past, you can still maintain those and should maintain those, but you can still forgive.
Speaker 1:
Another myth is that we think that if we forgive, it means that we are condoning what happened to us. We are saying it's okay. But forgiveness is not about that. It is in no way excusing the wrongdoing of the person who wronged you. Instead, forgiveness is about letting go of that resentment. It's a path to inner healing and it's not about approving or disapproving what happened. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. Forgiveness just means that we are saying we are not going to keep bringing up that offense and playing around with it in our minds. We're not going to keep rehashing it over and over again, but it's not saying in any way that it's okay, because it's not.
Speaker 1:
Another myth is that forgiveness means that you have to reconcile with the person that harmed you. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two very, very different things. Now, reconciliation is when a relationship is restored, and sometimes that just isn't possible, because sometimes the person that you need to forgive isn't even alive, or you may not have contact with them, or you shouldn't have contact with them, and sometimes it's just not healthy. I think it's also important to note here that to forgive isn't about having the other person admit or accept that they were wrong. So when you are forgiving someone, you may not even go to them and tell them this is something that you are doing for your healing, your healing. It may not be possible or even good for you to go to that person and say like I forgive you, because what you don't need is to say you forgive them, lay your heart on the line and then have them say I don't need your forgiveness, or forgive me for what or whatever. I don't need your forgiveness or forgive me for what or whatever. Remember what I said at the beginning Forgiveness is for the forgiver.
Speaker 1:
You are doing this for you. You are releasing it so that you will not continue to think about it and think about all the things you could have done or should have done, or should have said or would have said, and you don't just keep replaying that offense over and over again in your mind. The next lie or myth about forgiveness is forgiveness that you need to feel like forgiving in order to forgive. So I stated this earlier, that forgiveness is not a feeling, it's not an emotion, so you don't have to feel like forgiving in order to forgive. Forgiveness is an act of the will, it is a action, it's a choice.
Speaker 1:
And then the next one is that you must have hard feelings toward the person who hurt you in order to forgive them. And this isn't necessary either, because you may have, on some level, forgiven them, maybe, maybe your relationship is restored, but there is some forgiveness that needs to happen because you've been pushing it aside or you haven't really dealt with it and all of a sudden it's surfacing, and in that surfacing it's keeping you stuck. So you can forgive, even without harboring anger, because it's about your healing, it's not about the intensity of your emotions. Now what if you have forgiven but it still keeps coming up? And the answer here is that you just have to keep forgiving. So if it comes up and it's bothering you, then you need to forgive again and put it to rest. And then if it comes up and it's causing chaos, it's causing you to feel stuck or have hurt emotions, then you need to forgive again. Then you need to forgive again.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes forgiveness is a lifelong process and sometimes we'll forgive something and then we'll realize that something else came up, and so then we need to forgive again. So, before I close, I just want to leave you with one little thing, because I'm sure you're like okay, well, how can I forgive what would be the best way? Something I've learned is that if we forgive in the name of Jesus, because he is so merciful and he pours out his infinite mercy upon us, so if we can call him into this forgiveness with us, if he just picture him standing with you, you're not alone. He is standing with you, right next to you, helping you as you do this very hard thing.
Speaker 1:
And so when someone comes to mind or a situation comes to mind that you need to forgive, you might want to say something like this you can say it however you want, in whatever way you want, but I find this method to be simple, easy to remember and very effective. So you say, in the name of Jesus, I forgive and the person's name for, and then whatever they did to you and I release the person from all anger and bitterness in Jesus's name. And if you can speak this out loud, that is going to really be the most impactful for you. So just prayerfully forgive, bring Jesus into the situation with you, and it will be a beautiful healing experience. Well, that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic Sobriety Minisode. Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing. And remember I am here for you, I am praying for you. You are not alone.