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The Catholic Sobriety Podcast
Welcome to The Catholic Sobriety Podcast with your host Christie Walker!
This podcast is dedicated to empowering Catholics to live lives of freedom by providing tips and tools to help them be successful as they reduce or eliminate alcohol consumption. Christie Walker, a compassionate Catholic life and sobriety coach, is here to support you on your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Are you questioning whether alcohol has taken control of your life? Do you worry about the impact it may have on your well-being? Many people find themselves in this situation, fearing the loss of pleasure and stress relief associated with alcohol. They assume that giving it up will only bring deprivation and misery. But Christie offers a different and much more positive perspective.
With Christie's expertise, you'll discover the joy and peace that come from embracing a healthier lifestyle rooted in the Catholic faith and tradition.
Ready to get curious? Start listening!
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The Catholic Sobriety Podcast
Ep 111: Transform Your Drinking Habits with Curiosity not Shame
Ever wondered how becoming a 'scientist' of your own drinking habits can transform your path to sobriety? Join us on the Catholic Sobriety Podcast as we unravel the empowering journey of reducing or eliminating alcohol consumption through curiosity and understanding.
We dive into insights from day 1 of the Made for More workshop (12/17/24), encouraging you to trade shame for curiosity. Discover the power of journaling to track patterns, triggers, and your emotional journey before, during, and after drinking. By becoming an honest observer of your habits, you can harness the valuable insights necessary to reshape your relationship with alcohol.
In our latest discussion, we draw fascinating parallels between building sober habits and the art of muscle strengthening. Reflect on your drinking choices, embrace both the triumphs and stumbles, and learn to celebrate small victories.
Through gentle perseverance and the courage to accept feedback, you'll gain the confidence to resist alcohol's allure and break free from the cycle of anxiety and guilt. We challenge the misconception of alcohol as a solution and guide you in understanding how to dismantle the emotional buffers that exacerbate life's challenges.
Imagine your sobriety as a precious pearl, formed by the layers of habits and lifestyle changes you nurture over time. We delve into the significance of identifying your personal 'why' in the pursuit of sobriety and how it can serve as a powerful motivator. With introspection and perhaps a touch of spiritual guidance, this journey helps you recognize the costs of alcohol on your life and well-being.
Stay connected by subscribing to our podcast, and explore our coaching services for continuous support on your transformative path.
Grab the FREE worksheets that go along with this part of the workshop.
https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/free-worksheets-mfm
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This is your chance to awaken new possibilities, and experience the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives, women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, christi Walker. I'm a wife, mom and a joy-filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and I am so glad you're here. Hello and welcome. Today I am sharing on the podcast day one of my Made for More workshop that I did last week. I just thought it would be great to put this out as a podcast and let you listen in on one of my workshops. In this episode, I also reference three worksheets that were included in the Made for More workbook, and I will go ahead and leave a link below. You can grab those three worksheets and follow along with the podcast and know, like, how to fill them out so that it will benefit you. They're very foundational and if you are looking to drink less or not at all, this is where I have everyone start. I use them in all of my programs and I use them with my one-on-one clients as well, so I want you to have access too, and if you have any questions, of course, you can always reach out to me. You can hit me up on Instagram, you could go to my website and I would be happy to answer all of your questions. Hello everyone, and welcome to Made for More 2025.
Speaker 1:Today, we're talking about curiosity, not shame. Let's learn how to be a scientist. My main program is called the Sacred Sobriety Lab, and I called it a lab instead of a course because of this exact idea, this exact way that I encourage my clients or other women that I talk to or work with to examine their drinking habits. So how do we do that? How do we be a scientist? Well, there's five things that you will do when exploring your drinking habits, and then I also have five things that you should avoid while exploring your drinking habits. So the five things that you should do when exploring your drinking habits are, first of all, to observe patterns. So, to do this, it's great to have a journal. That's why I created the Sacred Sobriety Journal that all of you will have access to.
Speaker 1:Those of you who are live will have access to, but you can also just use a notebook. You can use the any just pages that I include in the workbook that you have. I really like, I love these. I get them. It's just like a plain little book that I get on Amazon. It looks like one of those moleskin journals that are really expensive. This one was less than $10 and it has like this nice elastic that keeps it closed and it has this cool little ribbon that helps so that you know where you are. But the best part is you can just go back and look at where you were, like, where you started, and how far you've come.
Speaker 1:This book or a little notebook or anything really will be so beneficial for you. You don't have to go through it and write like dear diary today, blah, blah, blah, just make bullet points. I do encourage you to write down your thoughts and feelings because that will help you as you plan for the future. This is really going to be helpful as you observe those patterns, because unless you observe those patterns, because unless you write them down, it's really going to be hard to look at what's happening and observe that. So pay attention to when you drink, why you drink, where you drink, who you drink with, and then notice trends like certain triggers, factors in the environment and other things that might lead you to drink. It could be that it's just like a habit, right, you get the kids to bed, you go into the kitchen, you open a bottle of wine and you pour it. You go sit down on the couch and you watch your favorite show or something, and it's something that you just probably don't think a lot about. You just kind of like go through the motions of, like I do this. It's a well-worn habit path, but we're going to talk about how to make a new one. You are going to be gathering data again notebook or anything else that you can use to track not just the patterns but also to see how much and how often you're consuming. Now, I know this can be scary. You might be tempted to not want to write it all down, but I encourage you to do so because if you can just keep track of it and look at it, it will really help you as you reduce or eliminate alcohol in the future.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, yeah, and they're like how many days a week? And I'm usually like five. And then they ask how long? And I'm like, oh, probably like 45 to 60 minutes, and they're like, great, but honestly I don't always do that. More often than not it's maybe 30 minutes. If I do exercise 30 to 45 minutes. So that is just one of those things where we just kind of like fudge it a little bit. Or I kind of fudge it a little bit, not on purpose really, but it's just I'm not being really honest with myself or my doctor when that happens. And maybe when you go to the doctor they ask you how much do you drink, how many alcoholic beverages do you consume in a week? And maybe you're tempted. Not, you're not trying to lie to them, but you just are maybe like kind of being conservative in what you say. You're not really telling them how much because, honestly, maybe you don't even know, because you haven't really kept track. So track that, find out how much you're drinking, how it affects you mentally and physically. So you're also going to want to write that down.
Speaker 1:I always suggest writing down what you're feeling before you drink, if you're choosing to drink, what you're feeling before you drink, what you're feeling during and what you feel after. And of course this is not going to be something that's feasible to do, like when you're at an event or something, but you can always go back later and think about it Like what was it that prompted me to drink? And then how did I feel after I took that first drink? How did I feel the morning after? And then that will give you a really good picture of what would be most helpful going forward. Because I'm not going to, I can't sit here and say, hey, you need to do X, y, z, you can't have this, you don't do this, it might not work for your life, it might not work for what your goals are. So that is something that, through coaching, we work through and I help you kind of get clarity about what's working, what's not.
Speaker 1:Maybe you start out thinking I only want to drink on the weekends, great. And then you start drinking on the weekends. But then you realize that when you drink on the weekends it kind of like goes into the weekday and you're having trouble setting boundaries around that. So then we talk about that like, well, what can we do so that you can keep that commitment? Maybe Friday, saturday, maybe not have any on Sunday, you know just, we'll just talk about it and see what works. And then that kind of leads into the next one ask questions.
Speaker 1:So approach your habits like a curious scientist. That's what we do a lot of in coaching, just asking questions like what are you actually needing when you drink? Because you're not needing the alcohol, right, but you are needing something. Are you needing to shut down your brain? Are you needing to relax? Are you thinking that you need it to be social? Just ask yourself those questions what am I actually needing? And then again, how do I feel before and after? Actually, at the end of of this of the workbook, on day three, I have a ton of questions that you can ask yourself after you drink. But you um, that can also help you come up with questions that you can ask yourself, like before and during even.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's really really helpful to just be curious, not be shameful, not beating yourself up. And yeah, just look at it like a scientist, seek insight. So, if you can share what you're doing with others with a friend, with your husband it would be great. But also take into consideration that they might be able to offer you a perspective about yourself or your drinking that you don't really see because you're on the inside and they're on the outside looking in. So just maybe ask those people closest to you. Or, like a friend, a coach, your therapist if you have one, you can ask, like in my Sacred Sobriety Lab. We're going to have a community that kicks off on January 1st, so you can ask the women in that community what they see through the questions you've been asking, or the posts that you've been making, or maybe what you've talked about in group coaching.
Speaker 1:What you should do when exploring your drinking habits is just to remain objective and I say this a lot and you'll hear me say it probably many, many more times. But look at your habits from curiosity. So look at them as if it's a friend. What would you say to a friend who was going through what you're going through right now? Or can you look at what is happening from a place of detachment? Just try to detach emotion from it and only look at the facts, because that's what scientists do. And I'm not saying that your emotions and feelings are not valid or not important. They are. But when we're looking at the facts, we're trying to just gain clarity about what's really going on. We need to just disassociate from the feelings in that moment and just look at the facts. What are those? And then, yeah, so what should you avoid? Five things to avoid are making assumptions.
Speaker 1:So don't just jump to conclusions about why you're drinking. Really ask yourself and look at the evidence that has presented itself. Don't just focus on the negatives, because there's going to be so many positive changes that you're making so many positive steps forward that even if you have a slip, it's okay, we can learn. You can learn from that, right? I say we because I work with my clients and then we both kind of learn from what happened. I ask questions and then we get to the bottom of what really happened. But if you only focus on the negative, you're just going to be really prone to want to beat yourself up, and that leads into the next one, which is blaming yourself.
Speaker 1:So just what I mean by that is just try to be so gentle with yourself. And you know, the world just offers us comfort, right? That's if you watch my video, my welcome video, you heard me quote Pope Benedict XVI, and it's the world offers you comfort, but you are not made for comfort. You were made for greatness. Comfort, you were made for greatness. So, of course, you're turning to this easy fix, this alcohol, which actually turns out not to be the easy fix, which we'll talk about in just a minute, but it's just all around us, right? It's in movies, it's in TV, it's in music, it's in commercials everywhere. So just know that. You know, and maybe it was modeled for you when you were growing up. So it's just about learning new things and just kind of managing your mindset around that.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do have the choice whether to drink or not, but just please be kind and gentle with yourself as you're exploring and then don't ignore your progress. Take a moment to see how well you're doing, write that down, give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate those little wins, because we don't just go to the gym and work out one time and build all these muscles, right. But we can celebrate like I went to the gym today, I worked out for 30 minutes and I came home and I'm going to do it again the next day, or I have plans to do it the next day. Let's say you get up the next day and you don't do it Well, that doesn't negate your progress, plans to do it the next day. Let's say you get up the next day and you don't do it Well, that doesn't negate your progress, that doesn't negate what you did before. So celebrate those wins.
Speaker 1:If you didn't go to the gym that next day, then you can ask yourself why. What was it that made it so that you didn't go to the gym? What were some of the thoughts that came up? Go to the gym. What were some of the thoughts that came up? How can we plan in the future to help you get there next time? So just use the gym as an example, because the more you do it, the more you build up your muscles, and so I always like to tell people the more they get curious and learn about their drinking habits and use some of the tools that I'm going to teach you today, the stronger they're going to become. Stronger you are going to become in being able to not drink or at least to resist the urge to drink, because you're building your silver muscles.
Speaker 1:And then the other thing is don't avoid feedback. So resist the urge to shut out feedback from trusted people, trusted people that you care about. That is not to say that, if they don't agree with your choice to drink less or not at all, that you should think like oh well, they said that I don't, I shouldn't be doing this, or I don't need to do this, or whatever. Oh well, they said that I shouldn't be doing this or I don't need to do this, or whatever. You can still listen to that. But what you are going to gain in gaining clarity, in building your sober muscles, is a confidence where you can say no or not right now and be so proud of your choices and so sure of yourself that you won't even really care what they think, whether they agree with it or not, and eventually people just get used to it.
Speaker 1:So one of the things that you know we think when it comes to alcohol is that alcohol is a solution and it's not a solution. It's actually a problem. But you are probably using alcohol as your solution to cope, to numb, to relax, to be less anxious or less depressed, to be less anxious or less depressed. But alcohol is actually like, let's take that irritant. Let's say the irritant is anxiety. So you have this irritant anxiety and you want to get rid of that because you don't like that feeling. It's uncomfortable and instead of doing some of the other things that might be helpful for you, it's so much easier your brain is telling you, it's so much easier just to go get a glass of wine, sit on the couch and just let it do its thing Right. So you're taking that irritant anxiety, and then by drinking the alcohol. So you're taking that irritant anxiety and then by drinking the alcohol you're like packing snow around it, right? So imagine like a rock in the middle and you're just packing snow around it. It's buffering. It's buffering that irritant so it's not bothering you and it feels like it's working. It feels like alcohol is the solution to that problem. But what happens is that snow melts as soon as the buzz wears off, or you wake up the next morning and you're left with that irritant again. Only this time it may have some shame and guilt packed in on it. Or maybe you said something you wish you hadn't, or maybe you made a phone call you wish you hadn't, or maybe your kids saw you do something that you wish didn't happen. So that original irritant now is even bigger. And then what happens is the cycle continues because it's called the shame cycle. So you go back to that drinking so that then you can kind of cover up all those feelings again. What you really need are tools and a plan to help you build habits to endure.
Speaker 1:If you watched my welcome video, you may remember that I said that I used to work in the jewelry industry. I did for like 20 years and I always loved. Well, I loved learning about how diamonds and gemstones were formed. I loved learning about how they were extracted and polished and all of those things, but the one that I just thought was the most interesting and beautiful is that of a pearl. And a pearl is formed when an irritant makes its way into an oyster or a shelled mollusk. What happens is that irritants in there, and so the oyster or whatever it is, won't feel it anymore. It begins secreting what's called nacre, and nacre is this liquid. It's about the thickness of like one swipe of nail polish, right? So it just keeps secreting this nacre, over and over and over again.
Speaker 1:Now, as you might imagine, it is not a fast process, you know, trying to build new habits, but it is a process where, as soon as you start, you can build on that. So what you are going to be doing is with tools, with changes to your habits, with changes to your lifestyle, with knowledge, with looking at things in a different way and also being uncomfortable you know getting comfortable with discomfort. You are going to be building up that pearl. You're going to be building up that treasure. Now, the thing with the nacre on the pearl that's protecting the oyster from the irritant is that that is not going to melt away. It's solid, it can be made into a necklace or a ring or earrings, whatever, and it's just this beautiful precious stone.
Speaker 1:The thing also, though, with a pearl, is that it is fragile still. It's not indestructible, and that's the same thing. With whatever level of sobriety that you have, you still have to be careful and you still have to make sure that you are taking steps to protect it, to protect that treasure. Because with a pearl, if it gets into certain chemicals, if it gets hit really hard, you know it can be damaged and the nacre can wear away. So you want to protect your pearl, your treasure, the same way you would protect a real pearl. You wouldn't put it near certain chemicals, you wouldn't wear it in a swimming pool, or at least I hope you wouldn't. If you wear your pearls in a swimming pool or at least I hope you wouldn't If you wear your pearls in a swimming pool, don't do that. You wouldn't hit it with a hammer or do something where it's going to get hit really hard. The same is with your sobriety pearl You're just going to make sure that you're setting boundaries with yourself and with others so that you can protect it, others so that you can protect it.
Speaker 1:So one way that we start building up that pearl is, first of all, by finding your why, by knowing your why. Why are you doing this? So the first thing that I want you to think about is what is your habit of alcohol costing you? Is it costing you time? Is it costing you money, costing you relationships? Is it costing you your mental wellness, your physical health? Is it costing you peace? Is it costing you peace? Is it costing you your sleep? And is it messing with your mental clarity, like, are you foggy? So I want you to think about those things as we move into the next exercise, because knowing your why is what is going to guide you along on your journey.
Speaker 1:When you have an urge, when something comes up, you will be able to stop and remember your why, and then that will be so powerful in helping you as you're letting an urge go, which we're going to be talking about triggers and urges tomorrow. So if you look in your workbook, you're going an urge go, which we're gonna be talking about triggers and urges tomorrow. So if you look in your workbook, you're gonna see two pages. One of them is just kind of a brainstorming thing what has prompted you to take action to manage your drinking now so you can find your why. So keep in mind all those things that were on this slide time, money, relationships, mental wellness, physical health, peace, sleep, mental clarity or anything else that I didn't think about and just kind of write about that brainstorm, about that in relation to your drinking. And then the next step is going to be finding your deepest why. Sometimes you'll hear people say, like, find that, why that makes you cry. So you're going to be just getting down to the nitty gritty, finding that why that really motivates you. That's the deepest why motivate you? That's the deepest why.
Speaker 1:So, just for an example, if you're using this sheet here, let's say your objective to quit drinking is so that you'll lose weight. You could write that here the objective is to reduce or eliminate alcohol so that you'll lose weight. So that you'll lose weight, the next step is to ask yourself why? Why do you want to lose weight? And then you will say so, why do you want to lose weight? So that I feel good in my own body? Why so that I have energy? Why so that I can play with my kids on the floor? Why you know and you just keep going and going and going until you get to that why that is going to be a huge motivator for you. So definitely take some time to do this and it will be beneficial for you.
Speaker 1:It's not always an easy exercise for people, so I just want to let you know that and take it slow and really think about it. Also, invite the Lord into the process. Whenever I get stuck doing something like this, ask the Lord what he wants me to know or what his heart is for me in this moment. So if you get stuck, then try doing that and see what happens. And then the next pages that you'll see are what does alcohol give you, so a pro, and what does alcohol take away. So you can either print off this paper, fold it in half, or you can just take a piece of computer paper that you have or any paper you have. Just fold it in half. On one side, write what does alcohol give me, on the other side, what does alcohol take away. And the what does alcohol take away column will probably be pretty easy for you after the why exercise. But it may have even brought up some other things that you didn't think about. So go ahead and write those down and then in the pros column. You know it might be hard for you to think of those things, but just know that alcohol gives you something or you wouldn't. So for, let's say, for those of us who are struggling with you know, maybe it's a chemical imbalance, maybe our neurotransmitters are a little off and we, or our blood sugars, are off Alcohol we are using alcohol to self-medicate. Those of us with ADHD will often turn to alcohol to self-medicate. So just realize that it's giving you something, and in writing down what that is, that will help you as you plan going forward, especially as we start looking at triggers and urges. But pros can be, again, like I said, making you feel better, helping you cope, making you just feel a little bit more courageous in social situations. Maybe it makes you feel part of a community. So, yeah, just write all those down and I think it would be super, super helpful. I know it will be because I do this with pretty much all of my clients and in every program I create it is in there.
Speaker 1:The next worksheet page the last one for today is called Dear Future Self. You don't have to do this today. You can do it at the end of the three days. You can do it whenever you want. I really encourage you to write a letter to your future self, and I'm going to go ahead and share a future self letter with you. I'm sharing it with permission, so just know that Hopefully it'll inspire you as you start to write your own future self letter. I just think it's so beautiful and I'm so happy to share it with you. So here it is. Dear future me, I'm writing this to remind you why I'm starting this chapter.
Speaker 1:I know that there's part of me that's nervous, even scared, about what life will look like without alcohol. It's been my crutch, my best friend, for so long. Helps me unwind, helps me cope, helps me celebrate, helps me not feel so lonely. But more often than not it's also been a source of regret, foggy mornings and feeling out of alignment with who I want to be. But you know that, don't you? That's why I'm doing this for us. I want you to feel proud when you look back at this letter. I know it won't be easy. There will be moments when the old habits call out, moments when the world seems too heavy without the buffer of a drink to numb it. But I'm deciding today that we are worth the discomfort it takes to grow. I'm deciding that I don't want to miss a moment of this beautiful, messy, unpredictable life because I'm too consumed by something that doesn't serve me.
Speaker 1:I hope when you read this, you can see how far you've come. We've come. I hope that you're waking up each day with a clear mind and a full heart. No shame, no guilt, just peace. I hope that you've rediscovered the joy in the little things a morning coffee, a walk in the crisp air, laughter that flows effortlessly. I hope you're stronger, more grounded and fully present in the moments that matter most. Remember the reasons why I'm here writing to you. It's because I want to feel more connected to myself, to others and, most of all, god. I want to stop numbing and start healing.
Speaker 1:This isn't about being perfect or fixing anything. It's about finding freedom, freedom to say yes to what truly matters and no to what doesn't. Now I'm not expecting this road to be smooth, but I know that we can handle it. I've already decided to face these hard days with grace and the cravings with patience. Those days will be proof that we are doing the work, building something real. And when those doubts creep in when you are tempted to cave.
Speaker 1:I want you to remember this moment, remember the version of me who believed in us so much that she started this. If there's one thing I know, it's that we are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. This isn't about turning my back on who we've been. It is about stepping into the woman I know we can become. She is strong, she is vibrant, she is alive. I'm proud of you already and I'm excited to meet the future us, the one who chose herself over and over again with love and so much hope, your past self.
Speaker 1:I hope that that letter inspires you. I hope it inspires you not just in writing your own future self letter, but in what could be what you can feel, what you can do, because so often we think that we can't do it. We tell ourselves all these things, we have limiting beliefs. But my hope is that in these three days you will gain the tools you need to drink less or not at all, so that you can regain your control over alcohol and you can live in alcohol freedom, and you can live in alcohol freedom. So I'm so excited because I'm revamping my Sacred Sobriety Lab. I am completely redoing the course, part of it. The course is self-guided, and then again you get the group coaching, weekly group coaching and a community where I will be in that community as well as other people. Right now, if you sign up before December 31st, you get 24 months for the price of 12 months. So you get two years access to all of it. So keep that in mind.
Speaker 1:If you want to learn more about the Sacred Sobriety Lab, go to sacredsobrietylabcom. And, of course, you can ask me any questions you have. But what you're learning here is in the lab. But we go so much deeper, so much deeper. So if you're looking for more information, more accountability, more support and you know something that's a lot less expensive than one-on-one group coaching or one-on-one coaching, it's a fantastic deal. Now what if you do want to do one-on-one coaching? Anybody who does one-on-one coaching with me also gets access to the lab, to the weekly group coaching and to the community. So there's that I am so excited.
Speaker 1:Tomorrow we are going to talk about triggers and urges. We're also going to talk about self-care as a holy work, and I'm going to talk about some stress reduction tips and other things that I know are going to be super, super helpful for you, especially because we are so close to Christmas and I know things are maybe a little bonkers right now. It was a little crazy of me to do this workshop right before Christmas, but at the same time, I'm like this is the perfect time. So there we go. I look forward to talking to you tomorrow, god bless.
Speaker 1:Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer, visit my website, thecatholicsobrietycoachcom. Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you. I am praying for you.
