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The Catholic Sobriety Podcast
Welcome to The Catholic Sobriety Podcast with your host Christie Walker!
This podcast is dedicated to empowering Catholics to live lives of freedom by providing tips and tools to help them be successful as they reduce or eliminate alcohol consumption. Christie Walker, a compassionate Catholic life and sobriety coach, is here to support you on your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Are you questioning whether alcohol has taken control of your life? Do you worry about the impact it may have on your well-being? Many people find themselves in this situation, fearing the loss of pleasure and stress relief associated with alcohol. They assume that giving it up will only bring deprivation and misery. But Christie offers a different and much more positive perspective.
With Christie's expertise, you'll discover the joy and peace that come from embracing a healthier lifestyle rooted in the Catholic faith and tradition.
Ready to get curious? Start listening!
Be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a thing!
The Catholic Sobriety Podcast
Ep 127: Five Questions That Changed My Relationship with Alcohol (They can change yours too!)
Have you ever found yourself asking "Is my drinking really that bad?" You're not alone. That question haunted me for years before I finally found freedom from alcohol. But everything changed when I flipped the script and started asking different questions!
In this episode, I share the five transformative questions that helped me gain clarity about my relationship with alcohol. These aren't questions designed to label or judge you—they're invitations to honest self-reflection that can illuminate alcohol's true role in your life.
What makes these questions so powerful is that they work regardless of where you are on your journey. Whether you're simply curious about drinking less, struggling with moderation, or considering sobriety, these reflections will help you understand what level of alcohol involvement brings you peace. I share my own experiences throughout, including how I discovered my path and how freedom from alcohol transformed my life in ways I never imagined possible.
Ready to gain clarity about your relationship with alcohol? Grab your journal, find a quiet space, and join me for this conversation that could change everything. Whatever you discover through these questions, know that you're not alone—there's a community of Catholic women walking this path together, finding joy and freedom one day at a time.
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives, women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, christi Walker. I'm a wife, mom and a joy-filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and I am so glad you're here. Have you ever found yourself thinking is my drinking really that bad? Or maybe you've wondered do I actually have a drinking problem? If so, I want you to know that these are questions that I asked myself before deciding to quit alcohol for good, and I can also tell you that every single one of my clients asks herself these exact questions before she comes and works with me. Here's the truth. On the surface, your life might look pretty good. I mean honestly. Most of the women that I work with are high achieving. They have got it all together in so many areas of their life. You may be working hard, taking care of your family, showing up for your commitments and, quite honestly, your drinking might look perfectly normal compared to people around you. But here's the thing Deep down, you feel it. Don't you that quiet voice, the one whispering that something is not quite right. If you've been around here for a while, you've heard me say you don't have to have a drinking problem to realize that drinking is becoming a problem for you. For me, everything shifted when I flipped that question, and instead of asking myself over and over, is my drinking really that bad that I need to take a look at it and reduce or eliminate it altogether, to take a look at it and reduce or eliminate it altogether, instead, I started asking myself how is alcohol affecting my life? And that's when I started to see things much more clearly. Today, I'm going to share five powerful questions that helped me figure out how alcohol was really affecting my life. These were the same questions that gave me the clarity I needed to start making the changes necessary to change my relationship with alcohol, and by the end of this episode, you'll have those same questions too. They will help you figure out if alcohol is affecting your life in ways that you may not have realized yet and, more importantly, they'll guide you toward the freedom and peace that you deserve. So grab a cup of coffee or tea or sparkling water, maybe take a walk while you listen and give yourself permission to reflect on these questions as we go along. All right, let's dig in. So the first question that I had to ask myself is what does alcohol give me and what does it take away? This is where we start. I want you to ask yourself these two questions.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it's helpful and I usually talk about this in a lot of the programs that I have and with my one-on-one clients is to either grab a piece of paper, fold it in half and on one side, write all the things that alcohol gives you and on the other side, write all the things alcohol takes away, kind of like a pros and cons list. I really recommend getting a journal or something that you can use to collect evidence. I like to think of going through these questions as a kind of experiment, as a way to get curious about your drinking habits. This helps to think about it from a place of learning, a place of curiosity instead of a place of judgment and shame, which is probably how you've been looking at it. So we're just going to be scientists here. You're going to get out a piece of paper or your journal and write down all the things alcohol gives you and all the things that it takes away.
Speaker 1:Alcohol obviously gives you something. That's why you are turning to it over and over again, and more than you would like, probably, which is why you're listening to this podcast episode. Which is why you're listening to this podcast episode. Maybe it's a stress reliever. Maybe it helps you connect with others. Maybe it's a way just to help delineate the daytime busyness and stress to nighttime relaxation. Get really clear on what it is giving you, and then I want you to think about what it's taking away.
Speaker 1:Alcohol always comes with a trade-off. For me, while it did help me cope with certain things or feel better about myself, because I was stuck in shame and guilt and regret, that was just short-term ease at that moment. It took away so much more. It drained my energy for the next morning, it made me unreliable, it robbed me of my motivation, limited my productivity and, most of all, it eroded my self-confidence over time. So how about you? Is alcohol taking away your ability to wake up refreshed? Is it taking time away from things and people that you care about? Maybe it's taking away your sense of control and peace of mind? This question is simply an invitation to really look at the full picture, not just what alcohol gives, but what it is actually costing you.
Speaker 1:Question number two is have you ever felt guilty or ashamed about your drinking habits? This one can feel a little heavy, but it's so important to ask it. Have you ever felt guilty or shame around how much or how often you're drinking? Maybe you found yourself hiding how much you drink from your husband, from your friends. Maybe, deep down, you're embarrassed about it. You're thinking why can't I get this? Or maybe you've made promises to yourself like I won't drink tonight, only to pour a glass anyway.
Speaker 1:I remember drinking before. I would go out with friends so that they didn't actually know how much I was drinking. Or sometimes I would go out and I would be able to drink moderately. But after I got home it was all bets are off and I would just plow through alcohol like, like nobody's business. That caused guilt. It caused shame. It lingered long after the buzz wore off. So take a moment and reflect on this. Does your drinking align with the person you want to be? Does it reflect your values, your morals and your vision for your life? Remember, this isn't about judgment. These feelings of guilt and shame might be actually trying to show you something very important. So listen to them, but don't beat yourself up. Just use them to help guide you forward.
Speaker 1:Question number three is have you tried to cut back but struggled to do so? Now, this one hits close to home for so many people. Have you ever found yourself saying I'm definitely going to cut back this week and maybe you start doing a really great job this week? And maybe you start doing a really great job. You are going strong on Monday, Tuesday, wednesday, but then by Thursday you're pouring another drink. This is such a common experience and I want you to hear me when I say this. It is not about having enough willpower. Say this it is not about having enough willpower.
Speaker 1:When I struggled to cut back, it wasn't because I was a weak person. It was because I hadn't taken the time to fully understand why I was drinking in the first place. Once I started to get curious about the reasons behind my drinking and look to all the reasons why I needed to stop, that's when things begin to shift for me. If this question feels familiar, don't be too hard on yourself. Instead, recognize it as an opportunity to get curious. That awareness can open the door to change.
Speaker 1:I have to tell you time and time again, in my sacred sobriety lab, I hear women say I'm not really where I want to be right now. I don't feel like I'm super successful at eliminating or reducing alcohol in the way that I want to, but I have come so far. Since I started. I have really changed the way I think about alcohol and my habit, and I got to tell you that is a huge win right there, because it's all about progress. It's just like when you go to the gym. You don't go to the gym, work out for a month and expect to be completely ripped and exactly where you want to be physically. No, no, no. It takes a long time, it takes consistency, it takes trying, but every time you make the effort, you are building those muscles and you're building awareness, and that my friend is just going to carry you forward toward finding out what the level of sobriety is that is right for you.
Speaker 1:Alcohol freedom doesn't mean that you can never drink alcohol again, unless that's what you decide. It simply means that you are free to choose to drink or not drink and you have peace about your decisions, whatever. That is Question number four how often do you have trouble stopping once you've started? This is also a hard question and one that I struggled with for a really long time. I had to get super honest with myself, because, for me, when I asked myself how often do I have trouble stopping once I started, it was 100% of the time. I know that that is not the case for most of you listening, but that was the case for me, and it was something that I had to be really, really honest with myself about.
Speaker 1:Think about it Maybe you tell yourself you'll have one drink, but before you know it, you're on your third or fourth. It's a pattern that can, honestly, just sneak up on us, and it's so easy to normalize it or brush it off. Think of it this way it's a little like opening a bag of chips. It's more high stakes than that, but it's kind of similar. You'll tell yourself More high stakes than that, but it's kind of similar. You'll tell yourself, I'll just have a handful, but then, suddenly, you're staring at an empty bag. I am definitely speaking from experience here. What I do, though, is maybe I'll decide I'm not going to have potato chips, because I know the road that that is going to lead me down, so I don't even want to bother with the chaos that's going to cause me. Or I will make a plan and I'll get a small bowl, I'll put some chips in it and I'll eat from the bowl, knowing that that is enough, and I'll put the bag of chips away so that I don't see it, and I am usually very satisfied.
Speaker 1:You can do the same thing with alcohol. When you make a plan and you are not going to negotiate with yourself about whether or not you can keep going, when you set those limits and you practice keeping those promises with yourself again, you're building those muscles that are going to help you be successful. Time and time again, make sure you pay attention to the pattern, but don't feel bad about it. Just look at it and try to understand how much alcohol you can have that feels peaceful. Again, for some of us that's zero. For others it could be a drink before dinner and a drink with dinner. Sometimes it can be just for special occasions. You have to find out the level of sobriety that works for you, but you won't be able to do that unless you actually try. So experiment, be a scientist and let me know how it goes.
Speaker 1:Question number five our last question is how would your life be different if you were free to take alcohol or leave it with peace? One of the things that I ask the women in my Sacred Sobriety Lab to do One of the things that I ask the women in my Sacred Sobriety Lab to do it's a pretty early exercise is to write a letter to their future self. It incorporates their why. It incorporates a lot of different things, maybe their history with alcohol, their hopes, their desires and their goals for the future. So I want you to imagine no more mental back and forth about whether you're going to have a drink tonight. No guilt, no shame, just peace. Imagine what it would feel like, what it would look like, what it would be like to be able to take alcohol or leave it without it, consuming your thoughts and your time.
Speaker 1:For me, this was the turning point, because I stopped thinking about moderating. I realized that that was causing too much chaos for me and it was just not going to work. It just wasn't going to be possible. Then I started to see that in letting go, I was actually gaining freedom. I was starting to experience a peace and clarity that I hadn't known in so many years, and I was having the ability to fully show up in my life. I was building trust with myself and my loved ones. So how would your life change if you felt that sense of freedom? What would be different? Give yourself permission to really dream about this. Invite the Lord in and just think about what life could look like if you could take alcohol or leave it with absolutely no chaos. These questions aren't here to make you feel bad about where you're at. They're simply here to help you see your drinking habits in a new light and give you clarity about what's next for you Before you go.
Speaker 1:I'd love it if you would subscribe to this podcast, if you aren't already, and also share it with someone else. I'll be sharing more tools, more stories and more insights to help you redefine your relationship with alcohol. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. Take care, and I will talk to you again soon. Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer, visit my website, thecatholicsobrietycoachcom. Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach. I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you. I am praying for you. You are not alone, thank you.
