Ep 132: Don’t Let Alcohol Decide for You: Make a Freedom Plan You’ll Be Proud Of

Freedom isn't just a concept we celebrate on July 4th—it's something we can experience in our relationship with alcohol too. If you've found yourself drinking more than intended at social gatherings or automatically reaching for that glass of wine after a long day, this episode offers a practical pathway to greater independence.

What if this Independence Day became your personal liberation celebration? I'm sharing a complete freedom plan that helps you approach holiday gatherings with intention instead of anxiety. This isn't about deprivation—it's about choosing peace, presence, and clarity on your own terms.

We walk through seven practical steps that make all the difference. Each step builds your confidence and reconnects you with your authentic self.

The most transformative insight? You're not missing out by drinking less—you're gaining something profoundly more valuable.

Whether you're curious about moderation, taking a break from alcohol, or seeking resources for a sober-curious friend, this episode provides gentle, practical guidance rooted in faith and neurological understanding. Every small step you take is building new patterns that lead to greater freedom. We're walking this journey together, one joyful, sometimes awkward, totally Holy Spirit-led step at a time.

Check out my latest YouTube video: Quit Explaining Your No" - 5 Secrets High-Achieving Midlife Catholic Women Use to Refuse Drinks https://youtu.be/LcTuAupJup0?si=Bvvogl3WzspVUjXu

Also,  Here's the freebie I mentioned in this episode!

 50 Ways to Creatively Decline a Drink: https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/50-ways-to-decline-a-drink

Save it, print it, keep it in your back pocket for any social situation. You've got this! 

If you have ever...

• Struggled with the social pressures associated with alcohol use.
• Felt isolated, alone, and unsure of how to break the cycle.
• Experienced shame and frustration after drinking.
• Told yourself, “I’ll never get this. It’s no use.”

Then this 5-Day Sacred Sobriety Kick Start is for you! 

Each day, you’ll receive a short video with simple tasks to help you analyze your drinking habits with clarity.

I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!

Please subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a thing!

☀️ 62-Day Sober-ish Summer Challenge for Catholic Women:
https://courses.drinklessornotatall.com/courses/soberishsummer62

👉🏻 JOIN THE FREE 5-DAY KICK START
https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/5-day-sobriety-kick-start

👉🏻 Join The Sacred Sobriety Lab
https://sacredsobrietylab.com

Visit my Website: https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Catholic Sobriety
• 2:34 Creating Your Fourth of July Freedom Plan
• 6:12 Make a Drink Plan That Works
• 9:03 Know Your Triggers and Responses
• 16:21 Visual Cues and Verbal Responses
• 21:37 Stay Present and Reflect on Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives, women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, christi Walker. I'm a wife, mom and a joy-filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and I am so glad you're here. Hey there, beautiful friend. Happy almost 4th of July. Okay, let's talk about it, because I know that you are here for a reason and maybe you're noticing that your drinking has become that. Your drinking has become, oh, let's just say, a little more than you'd like it to be lately. Maybe you're drinking a little bit more often, or when you do drink, you drink a little more than you wish that you would. Maybe what used to be one or two glasses on a special occasion is now almost every evening, or maybe it's just become this like automatic thing. You don't even think about it until you look at the bottle and realize it's almost gone, and then you're left wondering why do I feel so disconnected from myself? Again, I've had a lot of women explain to me that the more alcohol takes up room in their lives, the smaller their world gets. And if you are feeling like that, listen, I get it, because I've been there and that's exactly why I create the programs that I create. Like right now. I have my Sober Summer Reset going right now. You can actually still sign up through July 6th, but after that I'm closing it, just for just you know, to keep the privacy and things shared. In there People are building trust. It's been a really wonderful and active group, so you have just a few more days. If you want to pop in there, I'll have the link in my show notes or you can go to my website, the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I almost said Catholic Sobriety Podcast, but you go to thecatholicsobrietycoachcom and I have a banner there. Again, I will be closing the doors on that 62-day challenge on July 6th.

Speaker 1: 2:32

Anyway, let's just get into today. We are going to talk about making a plan so that you're not just white knuckling your way through the 4th of July. This, appropriately, is a freedom plan, because we're celebrating Independence Day. Now, I know we're celebrating America's Independence Day, but it could be your Independence Day too. Let's create a plan that actually feels good, so will feel peaceful, grounded and spirit-led. If you're wondering, how do I get through the fourth of july without drinking more than I want to or without drinking at all.

Speaker 1: 3:15

Ladies, this episode is for you. The first thing that I would encourage you to do is to set a prayerful intention before you go to that barbecue or beach day or your cousin Deb's red wine and boozy blowout you know the one. Take five minutes to ask the Holy Spirit for clarity. You can say something like Lord, what will freedom look like for me today? And then just stop and listen. You can use whatever you hear as personal reflection.

Speaker 1: 3:50

Or my favorite thing is to journal just really quick, nothing fancy, and think about what you're hearing and then in your journal or personal reflection, think about this. And we talk about this a lot in my sacred sobriety lab in the renewal of the mind module. But we change. We think about what we want our results to be. That helps with planning. So in the beginning, before we even go to the barbecue or whatever, we are going to think, journal and pray about what do I want to feel when I go to bed that night? Do I want to feel proud, peaceful, present with my kids, like I was present with the people there, and just write all that down? Do you want to just feel like you have a good amount of energy when you wake up and not feel groggy and cloudy headed in the morning.

Speaker 1: 4:49

And then the third thing I'd like you to do, as you're setting a prayerful intention, is to then grab a scripture verse to anchor you and I know I've talked about this before on the podcast and I talk about this in my programs is to speak declarations over yourself. So that is speaking God's holy word from sacred scripture over yourself, and what you are doing is you are opening yourself up and allowing the Lord to impart his grace on you. So pick some sacred scripture that really makes you feel empowered and strengthened, like one of them might be where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. That's 2 Corinthians 3, 17. Just put that one in your back pocket, write it on a sticky note. Or find one that you love, like I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. You know we have all those verses that we love, but maybe this is a good time to look up some verses maybe you're not so familiar with. That could also be very encouraging and empowering. And again, you can write that on a sticky note and keep it in your pocket when you are at your party or barbecue or whatever you decide to do.

Speaker 1: 6:12

The second thing I would invite you to do is to make a drink plan. Okay, I see you rolling your eyes at me, but we are going to make a plan. It's kind of like sometimes, when I say let's make a plan, it's kind of like when I go to my husband and say let's create a budget. He's like, oh, my gosh, that sounds not so good. But I promise you, if you make a plan, it is going to help you succeed. I know it will. And even if you don't stick exactly to the plan no, it will. And even if you don't stick exactly to the plan, you will notice that you still don't drink as much as you might have had you not had that plan. So just telling you that, and when you have a plan, you can look at it and say what worked and what didn't, which we'll get to later but make your drink plan. So will you drink? If so, how much will you drink? And I don't mean just thinking in your brain like, oh, let's see how it goes. I mean decide now and be very specific, because the more specific you can be, the greater your chances will be of actually sticking to it.

Speaker 1: 7:22

For example, you might think you might plan, plan. We're not just thinking, we're planning. I'm going to have one glass of wine with dinner and that's it. I'll pray before I pour and I won't refill. I'll make sure that I bring other fun drinks non-alcoholic fun drinks that I like, so that once I do have my allotted amount that I decided I'm going to have that one glass of wine, I will move on to that and I'll make sure to always have a non-alcoholic drink in my hand so I don't feel like I'm missing out and so that people aren't constantly asking me if I want a drink. So if you go alcohol free, that's even more amazing and even more freedom for you. But don't feel like you have to if that's not part of your plan. But if you want to challenge yourself, do it and then let me know how that works for you and how and what you did that helped. Again, part of that plan and this is so important is to have that backup drink that you actually like. Something festive, something fun. Put it in a fun glass or a mason jar or whatever makes it feel celebratory. Think of like sparkling waters with berries, a spicy lemonade, a mocktail that makes you feel fancy, because we are not punishing ourselves here. We are choosing something better. We are saying no to something that is not serving us and saying yes to something that will give us more freedom and peace, and that is planning your non-alcoholic drinks as well.

Speaker 1: 9:03

Step number three know your triggers and plan your responses. Okay, let's name the stuff that might throw you off, some of those thoughts that might come up for you, and these thoughts are likely going to lead to results that you don't want, my friend. You don't want them. So some of these thoughts might be everyone else is drinking. I feel so awkward and out of place. I am missing out on all the fun because I'm just a wet blanket and I'm ruining my fun and everyone else's fun. That could be a thought. So do those sound familiar? They might. You might have some other ones, but what we can do and again I talk about this a lot in my programs is to reframe those thoughts.

Speaker 1: 9:54

Thoughts are just thoughts. You can change them, you can ignore them, and one of the best ways to change a thought is to think about the results that you want. So, going back to that planning like what are the results that you want to have at the end of the evening, the next morning, and that will help you change your thought, so that you can have an emotion that will prompt you to an action that will actually give you the result that you want. So let's prep some comebacks for those thoughts so when you are thinking you know everyone else is drinking, you can just think I'm not missing out, I am really making progress toward my goal. I am building my sober muscles. I am becoming a woman who can drink or not drink, who takes alcohol or leave it with peace. Okay, that's one thing that you can see. If you're feeling awkward or out of place, you can just tell yourself like awkward is okay, everybody feels awkward, it just means I'm growing, I'm learning how to be uncomfortable and be okay with that, and then you can. If you think that you're missing out, then you can always think you know I'm not missing out, I am gaining freedom. This is what freedom tastes like as you're sipping your mocktail, I don't know, but just changing those thoughts up can be so helpful. So if you start thinking of that ahead of time, what are those thoughts that you usually think in these situations and what can you change them to? You can do it in the moment as well, but it's so helpful if you kind of prep that out ahead of time. So maybe there's.

Speaker 1: 11:46

The other thing is, maybe your trigger is emotional, like stress or anxiety, or just feeling overstimulated by the whole dang thing, and that's totally normal, that's totally human. So I just want you to breathe through it. I want you to have your declarations. Maybe have a prayer like Jesus, I trust in you. Or Lord, thank you so much for showing me how much better I'm going to feel in the morning. You know, just have like a little short prayer that you can say when those when that stress or anxiety starts to feel a little bit overwhelming for you.

Speaker 1: 13:52

The next thing is to anchor in your why. So having a strong why is so critical to the success of being able to reduce or eliminate alcohol. Because if you're just like I don't know, it just seems like it'd be a fun thing to do or a good thing to do or might be nice to do. That is not strong. We are talking about a strong why. Like I want to be more present with my grandkids, I want to be stronger and I don't want to be a burden in my later years, just, whatever that is. I want to be more present. I want to show up fully, have your why, front and center, then take five deep breaths and I want you to picture the woman you are becoming because you are on a journey and whether you have reached your goal or not, and you're moderating or or maintaining whatever that desired level of sobriety is for you, picture yourself on that journey. Picture yourself who you're becoming. How does she live? What does she think? How does she feel and see her? Is she clear-headed, is she confident? Is she free? And then say out loud, if you can I am no longer the woman who drinks because she's unsure or she's anxious, or she's coping or she's bored. I am the woman who chooses peace. I am the woman who trusts God more than the moment. Now, if that just gave you chills, that's the Holy Spirit reminding you of who you really are and whose you are. Step into that, sister.

Speaker 1: 15:33

Step number five is visual and verbal cues. So have a reminder on your body. I remember when I was trying to quit smoking and somebody recommended having a rubber band on my wrist. Was trying to quit smoking and somebody recommended having a rubber band on my wrist and anytime I wanted to have a cigarette to just pull that rubber band back as far as I could and let it go. I did that. It didn't, that didn't really work, that was painful, but so I didn't really want to do it because it was painful. But if you have kind of a reminder on your body, whether that's a metal, a bracelet, a cross necklace, something that you can touch Like I have a miraculous medal and a St Benedict medal and a cross that I wear all the time, and actually people notice this about me and I don't even think anything of it, but I'm constantly like touching it, especially when I'm in situations where I'm feeling a little bit anxious, and I just kind of have them in my hand and rub them through my fingers.

Speaker 1: 16:32

Also, when I was going through a time of anxiety many years ago it's probably like 12 or so years ago, 13 years ago probably, anyway I had panic attacks which I had never, ever had before and my mom had gotten me a miraculous medal and I used to. When I started to feel like that super increased anxiety or like I was going to have a panic attack, I would just kind of hold that miraculous medal in my hands and take some deep breaths and pray. Sometimes I would go outside. Those things can be so helpful. You can also just touch it and say like, yep, that's right, I don't need to numb, I'm good, I'm safe, god's got me, whatever.

Speaker 1: 17:18

And then also, one of the best things you can do is to have some verbal cues. So actually I I yesterday for a YouTube video that I made, which, if you don't follow me on YouTube, please do, because I create content there that I don't have on this podcast, and my videos are only about seven to 10 minutes long. They're pretty quick and concise. I think you'll like them. So check me out on YouTube at the Catholic sobriety coach. Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be like an ad for my YouTube channel, but I created a video there and posted it yesterday called quit, explaining your no five secrets.

Speaker 1: 18:01

High achieving midlife women use to refuse a drink. And of course, I wanted to create a sheet or a guide that you guys could use, or whoever wants it can use, to have those verbal cues so that you know what you want to say when you're offered a drink. So I'll leave the link to that guide in my show notes so you can grab that. But what you do with that is you pick some of those phrases that you want to say like I'm good for now, thanks, I mean, there's a whole bunch of them and find the ones that work for you, have two or three and just repeat them over and over and over while you're doing laundry, while you're walking the dog, maybe role play with your husband like he offers you a drink, and you get to say one of these things that is going to build confidence and you will be able to say it with a smile because, honestly, nobody needs an essay. And if you go and you listen to my or watch my YouTube video, I talk all about that like that, less is more and you can just have this air of mystery about you without having to over explain everything. And I am saying this with so much love and compassion because I am a total over-explainer and when I first stopped drinking, I gave people way more information than they needed, like waitresses and waiters and people that did not need to know knew a lot about me. So, anyway, you can have these things that you can say that are going to help you feel confident and assured and, again, having those ready is just going to make you feel a lot better when you go into these social situations.

Speaker 1: 19:59

Now step six is to stay present during the event. So make sure you're eating real food before the event. During the event, make sure that you're staying hydrated. One of the reasons that we are over drinking in the summertime is you're just thirsty. So make sure you are hydrating your body. Start today, when you are listening to this podcast, fill yourself up bottle of water and drink it down. Hydrate all the way up to the event. And when you get to the event, think of freedom. Just picture your freedom. Laugh, breathe, dance. Don't think everybody's looking at me, because they're not. Don't think I'm a wet blanket on everybody's party. You're not. You are not missing out. You get to wake up to a better day in a better way tomorrow, proud of your choices, whether you choose to drink or not drink. Wake up proud of your choices.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Also, during the event, keep checking in with yourself.

Speaker 1: 21:01

How do I feel about how I'm showing up? Am I still in line with my plan? If not, totally okay, you can always reset in the moment. No shame, just curiosity. Don't spiral out of control, because that's when over-drinking can happen. Just take a deep breath, reset and say Lord, help me start again right now, just going forward, like. Right now, you don't have to think, to think, oh my gosh, I didn't stick to my plan. Now I'll just drink whatever as much as I want. No, no, no, don't do that. Instead, say I recognize what's going on right now and I'm gonna invite the Lord in to help me begin again right now.

Speaker 1: 21:43

Okay, the final thing is just to reflect that night or the next morning on how things went. So just ask yourself what went really well, what felt really hard, where did I feel most like me and what would I tweak for next time? This part is critical, so I don't want you to judge yourself Again. You're looking at this from a place of curiosity. You're like blues clues with your handy dandy notebook. You have evidence. You're looking to find out what that desired level of sobriety is for you. That's what you're looking for. And all of these evidence of planning, of you know, messy action, of showing up well, all of these things are evidence that are going to lead you to that, I promise, if you just stick with it.

Speaker 1: 22:39

So these questions are going to help you coach yourself forward, because that is what we are doing here, ladies. We are growing, we are being formed, and you are doing so much better than you think, I promise, if you are making even the tiniest steps, everything starts with those tiny steps. Yes, we have those goals that we want to get to, but it takes work, it takes practice, it takes building those muscles. So just know that you're doing better than you think and thank the Lord for leading you toward this freedom and helping you grow, because you are, I promise, now, friend. If nobody else tells you today, I want you to know that I am proud of you, not just for what you drink or don't drink, because you are actually choosing to show up for your life. Right now, you are breaking cycles, you are tuning in to the Holy Spirit and each and every day you are becoming more you. So if you need more support, you can come hang out with me in the Sober Summer Reset. Again, I'm leaving it open until July 6th and then the doors close. But if you miss out on that, no worries, or you're listening to this.

Speaker 1: 23:55

After the Sober Summer Reset, I'm sure that I have other things going on, because I'm always trying to provide opportunities for you. So we are walking this out together, one joyful, sometimes awkward, totally Holy Spirit led step at a time. I want you to have a beautiful, connected present 4th of July. I promise you've got this and hey, if you stick to your plan, that's amazing. If you mess it up a little, still amazing. We are not after perfection, we are after transformation. I'll see you next time and until then, I am praying for you.

Speaker 1: 24:37

Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer, visit my website, thecatholicsbrietycoachcom. Follow me on Instagram at thecatholicsobrietycoach. I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you. I am praying for you. You are not alone.