Ep 140: Handling Urges, Cravings & Setbacks (Without Shame)

Ever felt blindsided by an urge or craving—whether for wine, sugar, or just zoning out—and wondered if it means you’ve failed? You’re not alone. Welcome to an inside peek of the Sacred Sobriety Lab ✨ — my private group coaching community for Catholic women who want freedom from alcohol without shame or rigid rules.

In this replay, we dive into a theme every woman encounters: handling urges, cravings, and setbacks. These moments can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to derail your journey. In fact, they can become powerful opportunities for growth and deeper reliance on God’s grace.

Inside this coaching call, you’ll discover:
✨ Why cravings aren’t failures—they’re teachers
✨ Practical “Plan B, C, and D” strategies when urges hit
✨ How to reframe setbacks as data, not defeat

This is just a glimpse of the kinds of conversations and breakthroughs we share every week inside the Sacred Sobriety Lab. 🕊️

💻 Want to join us inside the Lab? Learn more here: SacredSobrietyLab.com

🌐 More resources: TheCatholicSobrietyCoach.com

I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Catholic Sobriety Podcast
• 1:18 Opening Prayer and Setting Intentions
• 3:33 Analyzing Your Last Craving Experience
• 9:54 Creating Effective Alternate Plans
• 12:03 Redefining Setbacks as Learning Opportunities
• 16:23 Closing Prayer and Sacred Sobriety Lab

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christy Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy-filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach. And I'm so glad you're here. Have you ever given in to a craving, whether it's wine, sugar, or just checking out, and thought to yourself, I've completely blown it. I'm failing at this. Well, in today's episode, I'm actually sharing a group coaching call from inside my Sacred Sobriety Lab so that you can get a sneak peek into what we talk about each week. You'll find powerful coaching questions and I guide you through a journal exercise that you can do at home to get some quick wins and real results today. So check it out. And if you have any questions about the Sacred Sobriety Lab or maybe you want to join, you can click the link in my show description or go to SacredSobriety Lab.com. All right, enjoy. Hello, ladies, and welcome to the group coaching call for September 26th. I am gonna go through what I put in my email that we're gonna talk about, triggers, urges, and setbacks and that kind of thing. And let's just get into it. I'm gonna ask you some questions, some coaching questions that I would ask you if you were sitting in front of me, maybe on a one-on-one coaching session or definitely in a group coaching session. You can just answer them in your journal. And then if you want, you can share in the comments below this video or go into the Slack group and maybe share some of what came up for you there. So as always, let's first begin with prayer, and then we'll just get into the questions. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen. Heavenly Father, we thank you for gathering us here today. We know that you are present here with us, for I guess I'm here and you guys are watching. So I just asked the Lord Jesus to walk with us. You walked with hunger and fatigue and temptation, and yet you overcame everything with grace. We just ask that you help us to see that when we face urges and cravings or setbacks, that we are not alone, that you are right beside us. We invite your most Holy Spirit into this time. Give us wisdom to respond with gentleness toward ourselves, strength to take the right next step, and joy. So much joy in knowing your mercy never runs out. Blessed Mother, we ask for your powerful intercession for us. Wrap us in your mantle and lead us closer to your son. We ask all of this in Jesus' most holy and precious name. Amen. The name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Okay. Here's the thing. I've been working on some new habits too. And even though I've been alcohol free for many years, I still notice how urges and cravings show up in other parts of my life. So just because you set one thing down doesn't mean that it's not going to creep up somewhere else. We are human and we're all going to have these types of things. We're all going to struggle with, you know, leaning into comfort, doing what's easy. And, you know, it just takes time to do the hard work. And eventually those habits become so much easier. So it's something I know that you're practicing because you're here. And I want you to know that I'm on the journey with you. I'm practicing as well. So I'm trying to change up some of my habits around exercise, sleep, food choices, all those things that I like to kind of take a second look at in the fall for my fall reset, which I really feel like I'm just beginning. So today we're going to talk about urges, cravings, and setbacks and how they are a normal part of your journey. What matters most, I just want you to know what matters most is not going to be if they're going to happen. Like you might be going along thinking, hey, this is pretty easy. I'm not experiencing any urges or cravings or setbacks. I've gotten lots and lots of alcohol-free days. And that's amazing. And I hope that it continues that way forever and you don't have any of those creep up. But the reality is, it's not an if, but a when. And yeah, so when that happens, we're gonna talk about how to respond. Because having a plan before it happens is so much easier than trying to scramble and come up with a plan while you're in that reaction mode. Okay, so our brain learns these things through moments and our spirit grows when we let God into them. So I just want you to always invite the Lord into these moments. Invite him in when you have those urges, when you have those cravings, surrender those to him. Ask for the Holy Spirit to strengthen your spiritual gifts so that you can resist those temptations, have that self-control, one of those fruits of the spirit, have the fortitude to be temperate and you know, just lean in to those gifts that you've been given and just ask for an outpouring of peace, of fortitude into your life, and God will come through. But you do need to take the time to pause and pray about it. The first thing is I want you to look back. Think of the last time you had a really strong urge or craving. And now I want you to think about what led up to it, what you felt in that moment, how you felt afterward, whether you chose to go ahead and drink, or you were able to actually resist that really strong urge or craving. Like what led up to it, what did you do in the moment, and then how did you feel afterward, regardless of what that action was. And then the last thing is I want you to think about what you can learn from that sequence. So we learn not just from the missteps, which we can learn a lot from, but we also learn what we did when we are able to make the choice that we want, the choice that gives us the result that we want. Because what happens is we make an action and it we take an action based upon our thoughts and our emotions, and the result we get is going to be completely dependent on the action or inaction we take, right? So think about what thought you had, what emotion that thought led to, what action that emotion guided you to take, and what the result was. Now, if you had a thought, like, I'm just gonna go ahead and drink, and the emotion was kind of like defeat, or I don't even know, kind of a like a reaction emotion, like maybe even a second thought, like I deserve it, came in with that emotion. And so you kind of felt entitled to it. But instead of taking the action of just giving in and drinking, you were able to take the action of changing that thought to I actually don't really want it because I realize I'm not gonna get the result that I want. And so then that gives you a different emotion of determination, and that's gonna give you another result. So just kind of think through those things. All of this is in the Sacred Sobriety lab, taking every thought captive. So if you want more of a breakdown on this, go there and look through my pearl technique and those types of things. And I think it'll be really helpful for you. But you don't have to do that. You can just answer these questions. What led up to it? What did you do in the moment? How did you feel afterward? And what can you learn from that sequence? So that's looking back. The next thing that you're gonna want to do is have an alternate plan for when the urge hits. Again, planning is so important and it's so beneficial because you're not just reacting in the moment. You can remind your brain we had a plan and this is what it is. So when that urge hits, think what plan, B, C, or even D, could you reach for? Say plan A was you weren't gonna drink and you had some backup, non-alcoholic drinks. But that didn't really work out. And maybe your plan B is if I have a real craving or urge, then I'm going to go outside for a little bit, or I'm gonna talk to my husband about it and let him know that this is happening. And maybe we need to leave, or you know, maybe he could kind of talk me through it. Maybe I need to message in our Slap group or something. So just kind of having that. So some of the actions you can take are physical actions. You could walk, stretch, do some deep breathing. Spiritual actions could be praying. So just having that. Maybe you, maybe your plan A is I'm gonna go, I'm gonna have these mocktails. Plan A doesn't feel very good. You still have an urge, so you decide to breathe deeply and say a prayer. Maybe it's again, like I just said, having connection with your husband, with a friend, slack check-in. Maybe it's distracting yourself, distracting yourself with a conversation, with music, with creative activity, maybe by serving others. Just have those alternate plans, those A, B, C, and even D think what is going to give me the most peace, and what is going to be with me that is going to help with my efforts to drink less or not at all. Redefining setbacks. I hear women say, I just feel like I failed. And sister, you have not failed. You have not failed. Hear me. If I was with you, I would just grab it saying hear me out. You have not failed, not failed even in the least. Because you are learning. As long as you're learning, as long as you're moving forward, as long as you're still gaining that awareness and looking at it, like we said at the beginning, taking a look back at it, you are not not not not failing. Okay. You're learning, you're building those muscles, you're building those new habits. So, what you might want to think is how do you currently define a setback? What do you feel like is a setback? For some people, it's not a setback if they had decided that they were going to an event and not have any alcohol, but they decided in the moment, or maybe even they planned for it, that they would have one glass of wine with dinner and they were able to stick with that and have peace about it and still wake up, you know, feeling good, not like beating themselves up about it the next day. Then, you know, that isn't really a setback, I don't think, because that's evidence and that's something that's gonna help you learn along the way. So again, reframe it, think about how do you currently define a setback and then take that and reframe it as data or data, or see it as an opportunity to learn to grow. Now you might think about how that is going to help you return with more gentleness and boldness instead of shame in the future. Like how can you talk to yourself in the future, being more gentle and more bold in your determination, in your decisions, in your planning for the future? So again, the key themes here in this are we're looking back, what led up to it, take thinking about the last time you had a really strong urge or craving, what led up to it, what action did you take, how did you feel afterward, and what can you learn from that sequence of events? What whether it went you stuck with your plan or you didn't. The next thing is to create alternate plans. You can create these alternate plans using your look back notes as evident as that data that you gathered. And you make those plans, B, C, your D. You make your A plan, your B plan, your C plan, or E D plan, and making sure to incorporate physical action, spiritual action, connection, and distraction. And then redefine those setbacks. Don't look at it as, oh gosh, I just messed up again. I'm never gonna get this. Like all those mean things that we say to ourselves. That is not what it is. It's data, it's an opportunity to learn. It's an opportunity to show yourself some kindness and allow the Lord just to love on you and shine his light on you and just offer you his mercy. Again, urges and cravings, not a failure. They are part of the process, part of the journey and part of your healing. So I encourage you this weekend, this coming week, pray with these questions. Jot down notes in your journal, bring any reflections to our Slack group, to the next call, or just email me and we can kind of chat through them as well if you like. Okay. I'm gonna go ahead and close with prayer in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for reminding us, Lord, that our setbacks don't define us. Your love does. Give us strength to face urges with faith and to remember that every craving is an invitation to turn toward you. Keep us close this week, and may our lives reflect your freedom and peace. In Jesus' name. Amen. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. I hope you enjoyed this sneak peek into the Sacred Sobriety Lab. If you want to learn more, just go to Sacred Sobriety Lab.com or click the link in the description. Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the cooking that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic Sobriety Coach dot com.