Ep 150: Why Moms Drink: The Truth Behind Wine Mom Culture and Social Media

Why do so many moms feel overwhelmed, burnt out, lonely… and reaching for wine? Today, we’re breaking down wine mom culture, social media influence, emotional overload, and how alcohol has become the default “fix” for modern motherhood.

In this episode, we look at the rise of wine mom culture, why it feels relatable, and why it fails to deliver real peace. A faith-forward, science-backed conversation for any mom who’s wondering if there’s a better way to unwind. 

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this normal?” or “Why do I rely on wine to unwind?” — this episode will speak straight to your heart. 

Scoping review mentioned: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34286652/

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Transcript

 Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christie Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and I'm so glad you're here.

 I wanna start today with a moment that's been sitting heavy on my heart for several months now. This past spring, I was walking along the sidewalk in front of some shops at the coast while vacationing with my family, and I passed by a mom and her cute little girl. She was maybe, I don't know, maybe seven or eight years old, and I heard the mom laugh and say.

You know what? You make me wanna drink.

Those words were like a gut punch to me. Not because I thought that she was trying to be cruel or anything, But because it reminded me we are swimming in a culture that has made that sentence that lie seem normal, harmless, cute. we hear things like they wine. So I wine, my kids are the reason I drink.

Mommy needs her juice. Surviving motherhood, one glass at a time. We have marketing campaigns, memes, dish towels, stemless, wine glasses, Instagram reels, all telling mothers the same story. You're overwhelmed. You can't do it. You're touched out, you're exhausted. You know what will help Alcohol and the saddest part.

That our daughters hear it. Our sons hear it. Children grow up believing that they are the cause of their mother's stress and that alcohol is just how adults cope with them. That moment at the coast reminded me this isn't a cultural joke. It is shaping families. It's shaping identities and it's forming emotional patterns that follow women into adulthood.

Wine mom culture isn't funny. It's catechesis. It's a false gospel. So today we are going to go deeper into the sociological reality of maternal loneliness, how marketing and influencers exploit that loneliness. The neuroscience behind why wine works temporarily, the spiritual truth about true rest.

Versus numbing and a compassionate Catholic perspective on the phrase, but Jesus drank wine. Okay, let's dive in. So before we talk about alcohol, we need to talk about loneliness because loneliness is the soil that wine mom culture grows in. I want to be clear right up front though, kids are not the problem.

Motherhood is not the problem and women are not the problem. The environment around motherhood is the problem and research backs this up. A major scoping review by Rebecca Noland found that about one third of parents experience chronic loneliness. Not momentary isolation, but ongoing emotional aloneness.

And here's what matters. Loneliness isn't about being physically alone. We know as mothers that we can feel like we're never alone, but yet experience loneliness. It's about the gap between the connection you long for and the connection that you realistically have access to. Modern motherhood widens that gap dramatically.

now, let's break down why women experience that loneliness. Without framing children as burdens, motherhood, reorganizes a woman's entire world, it reshapes everything. Your schedule, your availability, your energy, your social rhythms, your emotional load, and your identity.

Friendships that were effortless before now require childcare planning, working around nap times and the emotional bandwidth you just may not have at the end of the day. This isn't failure though. It's a transformation, Our culture also isolates mothers in a way never seen before.

For most of human history, mothers raise children within an extended family. Multi-generational households shared domestic life and communal caregiving. Today's mothers often live nuclear isolated far from family without daily support, managing home and emotional load and work. We are not designed for this level of isolation

there's also this myth of like an automatic mom community. like as soon as you become a mom, you gain entrance into a world of play dates and mom groups and stroller walks and shared meals. But the reality looks more like irregular nap schedules, husbands working long hours, unpredictable routines, limited childcare overwhelm, and. Quite frankly, fewer in-person connections than expected. The expectation doesn't always match the experience and that mismatch can fuel loneliness.

There's also the emotion invisibility that deepens the isolation. 'cause many mothers feel dismissed, like you should enjoy every moment they feel judged. Well, you wanted kids, so deal with it. They feel unseen. You're fine, right? They're hesitant to share, honestly. They're afraid of being misunderstood, so they stay quiet and staying quiet.

Intensifies that loneliness. 

Now, here's where mom wine culture really finds its power.

. In 2023, a review found that social media is a factor for normalizing alcohol use among mothers. And I'll link that review in my show notes. Why is it? Because when women are tired, overstimulated, isolated, and longing for connection.

The algorithm knows just what they want and hands them. Hashtag mom juice. Hashtag wine Mom. wine o'clock ? Dancing reels with a happy mom with a glass in hand. The phrase, parenting is hard, but wine helps. These are not harmless jokes. They are identity scripts. So let's break down how social media makes this problem worse.

First of all, it gives the illusion of community. You double tap a funny wine meme, you comment same, you feel momentarily seen. But that doesn't actually provide support or empathy or prayer, safety, or friendship. It's a pseudo community, a thin connection, dressed up as solidarity. It also normalizes wine as the default coping mechanism because over time.

Wine just becomes the punchline, the identity, the expectation, the community ritual, the socially approved way to cope. And women think this is just what moms do.

It also creates an upward comparison because Instagram shows calm homes, tidy kitchens, cute pajamas, and happy moms clinking glasses. Meanwhile, you may be overstimulated, touched out, overwhelmed in craving connection. that contrast intensifies emotional isolation.

also the algorithms. Yeah, they multiply whatever you engage with. So watch one wine reel, prepare to see 20. This is unintentional discipleship.

Your feed is shaping your reality. This is normal. This is fine. This is funny. This is coping. It also creates a subconscious coping loop. You experience loneliness. You scroll, oh, there's wine content. You feel shame. You feel relief. You feel loneliness again, and then there's more scrolling. Now, this isn't because women are weak, but because the system is designed that way and our brains love habit loops, so we just get caught up in the same cycle.

Now, 

Here's what I want you to know. Wine doesn't deliver what it promises. It promises relief, connection, peace, fun, identity, solidarity, community. But here's what actually happens. Neurologically wine gives relief, but it ends up taking more than it gives Alcohol boosts dopamine temporarily, but then it increases stress long term.

It disrupts sleep. It spikes anxiety. It dulls the edges and then makes the edges sharper the next day. It's also counterfeit connection. Memes feel like connection. Wine feels like community, but the emotional need underneath it remains untouched. It's just slapping a bandaid on a gaping wound. It also reinforces a coping identity.

I'm a wine mom. I need this to unwind. I can't handle evenings without it. Identity always drives behavior, and then spiritually speaking, it numbs the place where God wants to bring healing.

The catechism even warns against alcohol used for escape or emotional avoidance. You can find that in paragraphs 2290 and 2291. Wine offers counterfeit peace, but the Holy Spirit offers real peace. So what does scripture actually teach? Well, Matthew 1128 says, come to me and I will give you rest. Wine promises, rest, but Jesus actually gives it.

In John four, we see the woman at the well. Jesus offers living water, a source of soul level refreshment that wine can't duplicate. And Ephesians five 18 says, do not get drunk with wine, but be filled with the spirit. Paul doesn't forbid wine. He forbids wine as escape. Because the Holy Spirit fills what wine only numbs.

Now what about the phrase, but Jesus drank wine. Let's settle this. Yes, Jesus did drink wine. Yes. Wine is part of the Eucharist and No, Catholics are not required to abstain, but here's the distinction. Wine and scripture symbolizes blessing, covenant community celebration, sacrifice, and transformation.

Wine is never given as a coping mechanism, an escape or a survival tool, drunkenness and escapism are repeatedly warned against. So the issue is not actually wine itself, it's why you're drinking it. If it's to belong, to relax, to avoid, to cope, to numb, or to make motherhood easier. That's actually where it becomes spiritually and emotionally harmful.

Now let's talk about the good news, the gospel alternative true peace, true community. If wine mom culture offers counterfeit peace, what does the real gospel offer? True rest. Not numbing, but renewal. True connection, not memes. Real sisterhood. It offers true identity. Not wine mom, but beloved daughter of God.

It offers true empowerment, not temporary ease, but spirit filled clarity and strength. It also offers true comfort, not mood altering chemicals, but Christ at the center of the storm. 

So if you are realizing that maybe alcohol is becoming a problem for you, what can you do? Here are just some really practical steps. First, ask yourself why you are reaching for the alcohol. No shame. Just curiosity. What am I feeling and what do I need?

Second is to notice your patterns. When do you crave relief the most? The third is to replace that wine moment with a true rest moment. So replace it with breath prayer scripture, a hot shower, going outside for a walk, texting a friend, or even just two minutes of silence. The other thing you can do is to rebuild connection intentionally.

Real friendship, not digital likes.

And finally. Invite God into the craving because we can feel like we're all alone in this. Like we're doing it all on our own, but you are not. God is with you. He has equipped you with spiritual gifts to help you root out vice and replace it with virtue. Invite him in. Because he already knows. He already cares, and he desires your freedom probably even more than you do.

Wine mom culture tells women you are stretched too thin. Drink you're stressed, drink you're tired, drink you're lonely, drink you're overwhelmed. Drink. But the gospel, the gospel tells a different story. You are weary. Come to me.

You are caring too much. I will give you rest. You're lonely. I am here with you. You're overwhelmed. I am enough. Mom. Wine culture offers humor, but Jesus, he offers healing wine numbs. But the Holy Spirit fills wine, disconnects us, but Jesus restores us. And you sister, you were made for restoration, not for numbing.

I'll talk to you again soon. Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about.

The coaching that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic sobriety coach.com. Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I look forward to speaking to you next. Time and remember, I am here for you. I am praying for you.