Ep 159: Struggling With Wine or Food? Here's What's Actually Happening

If you’ve ever tried to step away from wine, food, or any habit that helps you cope — and suddenly everything feels harder — you’re not imagining it.

Cravings get louder. Emotions rise. Resistance shows up in your thoughts, your body, and even your prayer life. And most women assume that means something has gone wrong.

In this episode, I’m joined again by Denise Jelinek to talk about why resistance often appears right when healing is beginning — and how to respond with awareness and surrender instead of shame or control.

This conversation is for women who are trying to change their relationship with alcohol, food, or any comfort habit and find themselves discouraged when the struggle intensifies. We talk about what’s actually happening when comfort is removed, how to recognize spiritual resistance and stay with the work when it gets hard (because it will!)


About my guest:

Denise Jelinek is a Catholic food freedom coach who helps women stop managing themselves and start paying attention. Her work is centered on awareness, surrender, and learning how to respond to cravings, emotions, and resistance without restriction or shame. 

She’s been on the podcast many times, and every conversation takes us deeper into what real freedom actually looks like. You can find out more about Denise and her programs but visiting her website https://weightlosswiththeholyspirit.com

If you have ever...

• Struggled with the social pressures associated with alcohol use.
• Felt isolated, alone, and unsure of how to break the cycle.
• Experienced shame and frustration after drinking.
• Told yourself, “I’ll never get this. It’s no use.”

Then this 5-Day Sacred Sobriety Kick Start is for you! 

Each day, you’ll receive a short video with simple tasks to help you analyze your drinking habits with clarity.

👉🏻 Get started with my FREE 5-Day Sacred Sobriety Kick Start
https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/5-day-sobriety-kick-start

👉🏻 Book a Clarity Call
https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/38683

Visit my Website: https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com

Transcript

 Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christie Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and I'm so glad you're here.

 If you've ever tried to step away from anything, wine, food, or any habit that you use to cope or even celebrate, and suddenly resistance shows up in full force in your thoughts, in your emotion, and in your cravings. I just want you to know that nothing is wrong, you're not doing it wrong. And this episode we are going to talk about why resistance shows up.

How to recognize it and what to do about it, and to do that, I am welcoming. Back to the podcast, Denise Gelani. She is a voice that you already know and trust. She's been on the podcast several times before and every time she comes, I learned something new. And I know that you do too. Denise works with women around food freedom, and today on the podcast, she's going to talk to us about how to recognize spiritual resistance or spiritual attacks that can show up when we are doing something good, when we are fasting.

So today's conversation is about awareness. It's about surrender, and it will give you some action to take when you notice that things might be getting harder the moment that they're starting to work. Welcome, Denise. It is so good to have you back on the podcast again, Christie. I love being here. So we're, we're kind of on the cusp of Lent.

I think a lot of us are starting to think about it and, you know, we start it off or we kind of come to it with all of these good intentions. And then within days of starting it, you know, everything feels harder. Like everything starts to pile onto us, right. And those cravings get louder and we get irritated easier.

And then there's like that pull toward whatever we gave up, whether that's alcohol or some type of food or, um, scrolling. And we kind of start to romanticize it too. And I'm just wondering from your perspective, why does. Removing these comforts just seem to intensify that internal struggle that we have and make things harder.

Yeah. I think what's so cool about what we are going to get into that, all of those things that you just talked about, and we're going to look at them today at through the lens of spiritual attacks. Somebody might say, well, psychologically this is also happening. So yes, I think there's this psychological thing and we'll talk a little bit about that.

But anytime that we're fasting or giving up something or growing closer to the Lord, we are going to be targets for spiritual attacks. The reason why is because just as the Lord is pursuing our soul all the time, we are so precious to him. He's not the only one pursuing our soul. And so when we're growing closer to God, that's a great sign that we have a spiritual attack.

Number one, I want everyone who's listening to know it's normal, nothing's going wrong, and it's a good sign. It means we're growing closer to the Lord. And one of the reasons it really kicks up during fasting. Is because fasting decreases our attachments, and the way that the enemy works on us is through attachments, disorder, right?

Putting things above God. And so when we fast from that, from that thing, then it's reordering our life. That is why fasting is so powerful, but it's also why those spiritual attacks will kick up, right? Yeah, so kind of what I hear you saying is that it's, we are being strengthened spiritually and it's that resistance that is, is helping us grow closer to God.

And the enemy's like, wait a second. No, no, no, no. We need to keep you comfortable. We need to keep you, you know, in that space where you're not so close to God, lent is just like this very holy season and I feel like. The fruits that we get from fasting during Lent are just so much greater just because of the season that we're in.

And I just think that the Lord just gives us all of these graces, but sometimes it can feel like we're doing it alone or we're white knuckling it and, and all of those things. And I think that that comes from some of that spiritual resistance and our own human resistance. Well, when a woman is fasting from alcohol or food or scrolling or whatever it is, how can she notice?

Like is this a spiritual resistance or is it my human resistance, or does it matter? She knows that. Yeah. How about, let's just use the simple answer that doesn't matter we're gonna go through today are some of the resistances that she will encounter. And I think once we recognize, oh, this is probably gonna happen, we'll also talk about how she should handle it.

Mm-hmm. So it doesn't matter if the resistance is simply a brain pattern 'cause she's doing something different, or if it's an actual spiritual attack, think it matters. Quite, she wants it to be easier and to know how to overcome it so it doesn't thwart her land. Yeah, that makes sense. So why don't we just get into it.

What are some of the most common spiritual attacks that a woman might encounter and what can she do about it? Yeah, the first one is that physically she will notice intensified cravings or obsessive thoughts. So no matter what you are giving up. Know that your body will notice, whoa, where's the thing?

Where is it? And let's just say it's alcohol. So if she starts to give up alcohol, her body of course, will notice that the substance is missing. But she might start to notice, like you said, the romanticizing about alcohol, but also maybe some other things. Maybe now she's scrolling. Maybe now she's turning to sugar.

Her body will want to do something else. And that's just that physicalness. Her body will notice the difference. So what can she do about that? I believe planning ahead, knowing that I'm going to feel this thing missing, and what do I want to do instead? So in general, the one thing if I can recommend all women to do is to find ways to bring comfort to their physical bodies.

That isn't the thing. So if is it, can we bring in more pleasure through the other senses? Can we look at beautiful things, have beautiful candles? Can we create more warmth in our body? Warmer socks intentionally creating physical comfort. I like that because evenings, as you know, can be a really difficult time for women with who are struggling with alcohol misuse.

And that's what I usually recommend is like plan your evenings around your senses. And I think that that is so powerful because we feel like, oh, I am lacking, oh, something's being taken away. But then when we can replace that with. Different things that are, like you said, beautiful to look at, like maybe it's lighting a candle while she's making dinner, or having beautiful music going, or you know, listening to an audiobook, whatever it is that changes up that pattern.

But also draws them in and makes, still makes them feel comfort, comfortable, and taken care of. Because we go through a lot, you know, during the day. Yeah. And as you're talking, Christie, it just made me think of the woman who may be turning to wine while she watches TV at night. Mm-hmm. Maybe she practices just during Lent or a few days during Lent that she's gonna tuck herself in bed, she's gonna get on her phone and watch something.

From her bed in that comfy, in that warmness that it just kind of changes just a little bit, but it's still super fun and pleasurable. That's great. Okay, so what are some other spiritual attacks? So the other one is that anytime we're growing closer to the Lord, we are growing in virtue. And what the enemy can start to do is then take that and twist into that pride and being glory.

Sort of a look at me. I'm just doing so great. All I want everyone to know is that this is a very simple switch and it's very human and we can simply say, by the grace of God, we can say things like, Lord, thank you for helping me get through the day. Thank you for giving me the grace to not have that second glass of wine tonight.

Thank you for and just to know that, yes, it does take our cooperation, but he's the one that gave us the grace to say yes. It's very simple. Mm-hmm. The third one is discouragement and loss of motivation. Okay. So remember when physically we noticed there was something missing? Yeah. Well, emotionally we're going to notice something's missing because whatever we're using the wine for, or the food or the scrolling for, uh, need that emotional need that we used to use the thing for is still there.

If we don't learn how to meet that need in a way that truly meets that need. For example, if we don't find a different way to relax, if we don't find a different way to show ourselves appreciation, if we don't find a different way to give ourselves permission to stop, I find people over often because it's like the only time they allow themselves to not work on their to-do list.

Mm-hmm. The point is, is that when we're white knuckling through Lent and we're not truly meeting that need, we start losing motivation because we are just so exhausted and so depleted from white knuckling from the glass of wine. Mm-hmm. So the, the best way to go through that is to slow down and to just start tuning in with ourselves and honestly.

Opening our eyes on our life and saying, oh honey, this seems a little hard. What do you, how can I care and support for you here? How can I care and support for you? Because what can then happen is that we, we get that little one-two punch from the enemy and we go into spiritual attack number four, which is despair and self-hate.

What happens when we lose motivation? And this is where we feel like we're just kind of going through the motions. I don't even know if it really matters. So we're like, well, I'll just have another glass of wine. Listen, friends, we all fall and nothing is not redeemable from the Lord. Okay? Just nothing.

But when I was preparing this, the Lord told me one thing. He said, Denise, this spiritual battle is not lost in what she does, right? So if we have the glass of wine, if we eat the chocolate, whatever it is not lost the battle. The battle is lost and the enemy wins. When we start believing who the enemy says we are.

Yeah. And not God. That's that spiritual attack. Number four, which is despair and self-hate. Where we see ourselves have the second glass of wine or maybe the wine, whatever it's mm-hmm. And then we get into that shame spiral. I'm a failure. And then of course all we wanna do is have more wine or more Yeah.

I want women to know there's a very easy way out of that shame spiral. And it's two questions. So if you see yourself, I'm just gonna say the word fall. Let's say you just, you, you end up having the thing that you said you wouldn't have. That's not the problem. Ask yourself two questions and you're gonna get right back on track.

And the first question is, what did I learn? What did I learn from that? What do I now know? The second question is, how can I care and support myself more going forward? Because the only reason why we fell is because we were emotionally depleted. We just needed some more care and some support. Mm-hmm. And what's so cool is the more we care and support ourself, the more we are acting like the Lord and the more we're the image of God to ourselves.

Mm-hmm.

And the fifth spiritual attack is ungodly self-reliance. And I just put this in there because, and these don't, are, these aren't like little boxes where you're either here or there or there or there. Ungodly self-reliance is essentially like it's all up to me. And you know, so many women have lived dieting their whole life, or so many women have learned.

You know, there's, so I, I believe your audience, Christie, is just very high achieving ambitious women who have achieved a lot in their lives. And

we, what can happen is we believe. That it is all up to us, especially if we're wives and moms, because it's not like our children are capable to help us or our husbands can't magically read our minds. And so that whole thing, it's up to me. It's up to me. When it comes to something like spiritual growth and we have that ungodly self-reliance, it's just really easy to fall onto despair because we are so stinking weak.

Mm. And our progress is only by the grace in God. And so this is where if we find that you, because what I think what happens is that self-talk, so all of you ladies listening, let's just look at the way we're talking to ourselves. If we're believing, like, um, if we feel a white knuckle, if we feel like we're it's pressure or we start saying our things.

Start saying things to ourselves like, well, nobody's holding a gun up to my head to like drink that. Or, you know, nobody's putting food in my mouth. You know how women say that to themselves? Mm-hmm. I want them to just soften the way they're talking to themselves and to recognize that

we do have self will. Of course we have self will, but it's not in a shamey way. It's in a way that we are partnering with the Lord, but we are unable to truly partner with him from that place of criticism and of condemning that's that believing that who the enemy says we are. Yeah. And so, um, you know, I guess the way that women come out of this is.

To just practice surrender, to say, Lord, this is what I'm going to work with on today. And, and to reframe it as obedience and docility like what the Lord has asked of you. This Lent, which I wanna get to in just a second, you are acting simply from obedience and love for him. I feel like I wanna just segue right away, if you don't mind, into one of the things that's going to really help you.

There's three things that are going to help you with all of these spiritual resistances, and the number one thing is talking to him before you decide what you're going to fast from this lint. He may not want you to totally give up alcohol. He may say, I want you to cut back to one glass a day. He may say, I want you to have it three times a week, or whatever you're teaching your women.

We need to make sure that whatever we're talking to him about, whatever, or whatever we're choosing to give up or have less of in our life, is truly what will draw us closer to him. Sometimes people are like, well, I'm just gonna give up sugar, or I'm just gonna give up chocolate, or I'm just gonna give up wine.

Is that what he asked you? Talk to him. Because once you're clear that whatever he wants you to, to fast from during this period of lent, if you know it's from hell, you are going to find. It's going to feel, you're gonna feel conviction and not deprivation. So you can ask yourselves, Lord, what's, what's distracting you to me?

What's standing in the way? The women that I work with, we fast from the scale, as silly as that sounds. It feels like, well, you're not really giving up anything. No. Yeah, we are. We are allowing the Lord to take primacy and to be God again, not, not the scale, not the wine. Because remember, whatever we're fasting from, we're using as a false God.

We're using it to meet our needs. We're using it to do, fill in the blank, to give us affirmation, to give us permission, give us comfort, and so no matter, so I believe that what God asks us to fast from. It might be cussing, you know, it might not be a substance, right, is something that we are turning to that's separating us in our relationship with him.

I really appreciated that you said to check with the Lord first, and I think when you were saying that. Um, that makes so much sense because sometimes we think, oh, I need to do this, this, and this, and we can overwhelm ourselves with things that we think we need to do. And then we have so many to-dos that we can't keep track of all our devotions, all the things we've given up, all the things, you know, the prayer time we said we were gonna do.

And so I think, um, you know, just getting with the Lord on it and planning from peace and really asking him is, is. Critical in, you know, really accomplishing what this fasting during lent is meant for, and that is to strengthen us, you know, for attacks against the enemy. Right? Be sober minded for your enemy is on the prowl.

Um, and it is a strengthening. Jesus went into the desert to be strengthened for his ministry. So the Lord asked us to fast in preparation for the work that he has for us, but also just for life. And you brought up so much like in those spiritual attacks and how to combat them, identity. Identity, knowing whose we are, I really think that that is the point of lent not losing weight or, um, you know, trying to be better.

It, I mean, we do wanna be better, but we are growing closer to God and that is like the main part of it. The other thing is, you know, if you set, like Denise, you were saying like you get with the Lord and you're like, how much Lord, first of all, what do you think about my drinking? Or eating or scrolling or whatever it is.

What do you think or how much of this is impacting my life or my relationship with you in that? And let's say you decide like, I think the Lord has told me it's one day a week or, or just on the weekends. You can keep revisiting that with him, right? You can say. Is this enough? Is it still keeping me from the fruit that you want to bring into my life?

This lent that keeping me from you. Is it keeping me from being fully present? And so don't, not feeling that you have to be perfect from the get go or at all. It's. A training ground. It's, you know, building muscle. You don't, I always say, you don't go to the gym and start lifting weights and then all of a sudden you're like, totally, you know, your physique is how you want it to be, and your weight is how you want it to be.

It takes time, it takes consistency. And if you said like, I'm gonna go strength train three days a week, and you only get there one day, that's still probably better than before. You know, you're still getting there. So something is better than nothing. But what happens, and me and I, I would love for you to hear your perspective on this, but so many times, you know, we want to hold ourselves, especially when it's lent, and especially when it's for God.

We feel like we have to be perfect, but he's not asking for our perfection. But what do we do when we have that thought of like, ugh. I am doing so bad, I've already messed up. God's so disappointed in me. Like what can she do to kind of keep her going and keep her from spiraling, like you said, getting back into that shame cycle.

Yeah. Uh, there's one thing that I wanna say because we are so ahead of Lent right now. Mm-hmm. Is, um. If the Lord has put it on your heart to decrease a substance in your life, whether it's food or something, something that's standing in your way, I want to offer to women. So often we wanna do cold Turkey, right?

And maybe alcohol is different, but I can, I can relate like to my own journey with caffeine. Um, hey, if I in six months am like down to 10%. Um, that is good. Mm-hmm. And so even like your journey with alcohol, I, I kind of believe that whatever's standing in the way of us being closer to the Lord, it's not like we get to Easter and he's like, alright, just put that back in.

Like, I really think it's probably calling us to detach and just like kinda keep that going. And so for the long haul, we could look at Lent as a jumpstart or a beginning. Do more of a gradual decrease. Mm-hmm. Instead of a white knuckle, cold Turkey thing. Mm-hmm. Again, so if someone finds themselves doing something, it's so funny you guys.

I just believe that whatever the Lord's gonna ask you to do will not be ridiculous and unrealistic for you. I think that we fall into despair. When we are trying to give up something that the Lord didn't even ask us to give up,

or we're doing it for a different motive, like you said, and we're like, well, if I give up sugar, maybe I can lose 10 pounds over that. And people might even have the same, um, the same reason to give up alcohol. But let's say she does find herself in desp.

She's believing not God. We have the sacraments. She can go to confession. She can talk with the Lord. There were two things that I want to talk to your, um, to tell you that would be helpful for all of these. And one of them is a targeted, um, targeted use of the sacraments. So as you're going through Lent, I want you, I would suggest that women, when they go to communion and to mass offer that and ask for extra graces and strength for whatever their Lent and journey is offer, um, offer whatever their sacrifice is, you know, with the sacrifice of the mass and at, at communion.

And also, I love the concept of targeted. You the targeted use of, um, confession. You guys, I think, and Christie, you might wanna, you can also do this. So in our community we have a, um, an examination of conscience for women who struggle with food and weight. And if you have an examination of conscience for women who struggle with alcohol, see, because whatever your dominant sin is or your dominant, let's just say substance.

I will say as a person who struggled with food and weight, I can make an idol out of my body. I can make an idol outta the scale. There's certain sins that people who don't struggle with, that don't even deal with. And so if we can start to ask ourselves certain questions, it really pulls up all the gun and then we get it out and it's not like festering back there.

So I think that's cool 'cause it like allows the Lord's light to shine in areas that we may have not even known were dark. Um, and then the other thing that I think is super helpful is that whatever the Lord has, so number one, talk to the Lord and then after that, just start planning how you're gonna care and support for yourself during Lent.

And one of the best ways is to be surrounded, be surrounded by other women who are doing the same darn thing. And I'm sure you have a lit program for the women who are, who the Lord has said, Hey, alcohol is keeping you from being closer to me. Absolutely because community, I mean, so many times we don't necessarily, we can't really talk, maybe we can't talk to our husband the same way, or maybe especially with alcohol, it can be so, um, there's such a stigma to it that if they talk about it with someone.

Then they're like, oh, well they think I'm an alcoholic. Will they think, um, I'm a bad mom? Will they think, you know, like all of these things. But so many times, and you might relate to this too, with your women, I'm sure they come in and they say, I've never been able to talk this openly about what I'm struggling with before.

And, you know, just sharing that out loud. For the first time is so powerful. And then, like you said, being in a community of other women who are walking this journey with them. And it doesn't matter if they're doing, you know, some of my women want to eliminate alcohol completely. Some of them don't, and it, it doesn't really matter, you know, what level of alcohol freedom that they're looking for.

But it matters that they're on the same path together and supporting one another and encouraging each other. And I know you see this so much in your community as well and it's so, so beautiful. I like that you also, um, highlighted the sacraments and especially confession. I. Think that idea of having an examination of conscience, I'm going to borrow that from you.

Um, because I think it's so important. And actually I've had a handful of women who have told me that they have stayed away from confession because they felt like they weren't making the effort that they needed to, to be able to confess that and. Receive absolution because they didn't feel like they could say, well, I'm not gonna do it again.

And so I've said, the graces that you get from confession, just like you were saying, that strengthens you and equips you and it and it, the Lord isn't asking for your perfection. He's asking, are you on that journey of, you know. Trying to untangle yourself from, from this. Do you ever hear that? Um, I am not in our community, but I can so relate.

And Christie, I didn't mention, um, to your audience on this podcast maybe somewhere before, but I am a former over drinker. I call myself an over drinker. I do not, uh, alcohol is not part of my life anymore because it brought nothing. Towards the end, man, it was taking, just, just ripping my life apart. Um, my self-confidence, I mean, everything that I loved in my life was just going down the tubes and, um, I decided that I could not keep alcohol in my life.

The point is, though, is that I would go to confession many times, whether it was over my binge eating or over drinking, and I would confess it and I would know that I would go and do it again. I knew I didn't have the tools. I didn't have the support. I mean, I, okay. I didn't know it at the time. I just knew I was gonna do it again.

Looking back, and I want to say this to all the women who are saying that the only reason why you're going to go back. Because you haven't found a different way. Mm-hmm. And that's a sinful thing. It's just hasn't found you yet. It's that ungodly. I just wanna say that is that ungodly self-reliance and, and to just trust that you are in your journey where you are.

I mean, I know I tried to quit drinking years before I did, and I just couldn't, I didn't know how to do it and I didn't know there was a different way. And that way we'll find you when you're ready, when it's meant to find you. And thank God it didn't find me years before because had it found me years before, I'm sorry, maybe we're getting off on a tangent now.

No, you're good. Had it find me. Found me years ago, I would've never found food recovery, right? Because I stopped binge eating and then my drinking took off and then I quit drinking. But had it been the other way around, I would've quit drinking. My eating would've taken off and I would've kept saying, well, at least I'm not drinking.

At least I'm not drinking, because I don't think I would've been in enough pain to stop the eating thing. So my point is, is that it's really hard when you're in the the muck, especially when it feels like years and decades to believe that the time will come when you're meant to be rescued. And he will rescue you.

Yeah, absolutely. He meets us in those, in that dark valley. You know, he's, he's like, I've been here waiting for you to be ready and. You know, we're never alone. I think about those times when I thought I was, I had struggled with ungodly self-reliance. I still do sometimes, but at least I can recognize it a lot better now.

And you're right. I think a lot of women do. And when we finally get to that point where we're just tired of trying to do it on our own and we lay it down and the Lord is like. I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting for you. You know, and I'm here to walk with you and I would love it if you could talk about, speaking of like laying something down.

So often we lay something down and then we, you said this earlier, then maybe like a woman lays down alcohol, she starts an uptick of. Eating, binge eating or sugar or scrolling or you know, whatever it is. And like you were saying, she's doing those things that we all do it. I do it too. And it's like, you know, what am I gonna do to make myself feel better to combat, you know, this loneliness, exhaustion, whatever.

But when. When we are fasting, it just seems so much more amplified and you spoke to it a little bit like what can we do when that comes up? But how can they learn to meet those needs without like all of a sudden entangling themself in something else that has kind of been teetering on the edge for them.

Uh, I cannot. Amen. So I'm gonna tell you what I would suggest, but I also cannot amen enough why it's so important to be surrounded by a group, because then you're all like, oh my gosh, I know I'm compulsively checking Facebook, right? And it all like start talking about it and it just really normalizes it.

And then you can have like you as the leader who's like, alright everybody, so what's happening? And then you can kinda like coach them through so that they can start to learn how. To recognize, well, what's happening before you're going in the Facebook hole mm-hmm. You know what's happening before you know what time of day can we see a pattern here?

And then when we start to see a pattern, so let's say that somebody finds themselves, um, you know, they wanna give up alcohol and now they're like shoving cookies in their face. So, alright, let's just start to become curious. When is this happening? Can we start to see a pattern? And they might be like, every day at seven, you know, every night at mm-hmm.

8:30 PM Okay. The 8:30 PM So once we see that we can start to, not at 8:30 PM make a plan, but maybe in our good thinking brain say, what can I, how can I bring comfort to myself tonight? Or maybe here's what I, here's, here's a couple things that I love. I'm gonna throw a couple things out at you. When women find themselves doing something they don't wanna be doing, I like to say, let's just observe it.

Why don't we take the next three to five nights and let's just, you know, eat cookies. Totally fine. And let's just see, maybe you can write, if you could write three things down. What did you observe? What are you noticing? What do you, what's going on? Is there anything you can notice? Um, I think that's cool because then they're just sort of allowing themselves to do it.

The shame is away. It becomes an experiment and they can start to detect patterns and then they can bring them to their coach Christie and say, well, you know, at eight 30 I go right straight for the Oreos. Interesting. Well, what's happening before that? Well, we sit down and we watch tv. Okay, well what's happening before that?

Well, I just, I'm so exhausted. I just cleaned up dinner. Okay. And then we had a fight at dinner, so you can start to see like the buildup, um. Of emotions and she's just looking for a release usually. So if we can help her solve for the things happening before that, or also different ways to calm her nervous system that aren't food or that aren't alcohol.

So really, truly meeting their needs because listen, friends, all of us, yes, there is a physical component to the, the, um, reliance on alcohol and sugar or caffeine or whatever. I'm gonna tell you, it really truly is an unmet need for the majority of time. It's just if we can identify what need needs to be met and we can find a way to truly meet that need, we are ahead of the game.

And then, so once she does that observation time, she can start to create what I like to call a game plan, which would be like her eight 30 game plan. What am I doing? How am I gonna handle this? Oh, and then he, I honestly, like, if it weren't, this is what I would say. Why isn't that just, okay? Why don't we just work on one thing?

We're giving up alcohol. What would you feel? Okay, with seven cookies, does that feel okay? What if you replaced alcohol with seven cookies? It's not gonna be your whole life, and I, you know, you're just meeting yourself where you are ultimately. Do we always wanna be turning to Oreos at eight 30 at night?

No. Maybe just during this time, and I know that feels like, well, that's not really in the spirit of giving something up

because the one tell you Oreos was your problem. He, and this is might just be a bridge, and I just like to look at things like that. Where could this just be a bridge? Let's just see this week and you can reevaluate it every week. I don't know how you like that answer, but Yeah. No, I like it. And I've said that before, like a lot of times women will be like, okay, well I've, I've done this and I, you know, I haven't had alcohol, but I find that my sugar uptake has increased.

And I'm like, okay, well then let's watch that. And like you said, it's all about like kind of gathering data, seeing what is the need, um, that you're trying to meet. And then like. I had one woman say, well now I know I can use these tools that you taught me to look at my sugar now. You know, so it's like, take one thing at a time, like what you said and the tools you teach, the tools I teach, uh, it just, it doesn't really matter what the thing is, it will help.

And so that's. That's the hope right there, ladies, is you would lay something down and you notice something creeping back up, like Denise was saying, noticing it, and then you have tools that you can use. So it's not like you're starting over. It's not like, oh, great, now I have this whole other thing I have to figure out.

You don't have to because you can just go back and use the tools that you've already learned, uh, from Denise or from me or from, you know, wherever and that. Is such a win because you already know how to do it and how to untangle yourself. And then I, one thing about the group coaching about coaching or being in a community is, like you were saying, if a woman is sharing.

Like, oh, you know, I was noticing this and so I did this. It's so beautiful because even if you're not dealing with the same thing, you know, maybe hers is Oreos and the other person's is peanut butter and the other person's is alcohol. It doesn't matter. But sometimes something that somebody else says.

Can inspire you to come up with a solution that works for you. That might be the same thing they tried, or it might be something completely different, but just, it's almost like, well, I mean, we're all the body of Christ, right? And we all have these gifts and we all have, um, different experiences and these can be helpful.

To other people, and that's why being, you know, in a community and on the journey together is so powerful. So I'm glad that you talked about that. So before we close, I would love it if you could just briefly go through those five things again for the women, just so that they can really kind of have that solidified.

And I know that this is gonna be so helpful for women as they prepare for Let, and I'm so glad that we're doing this so far ahead so that they have time. Yeah. I, yes, absolutely. Christie. I just wanna say, one of the questions that you asked me was, well, what happens if the woman finds herself in despair and just self-hate?

Do this. Mm-hmm. I don't think you can stay there in a group. Mm-hmm. Like you're gonna, when you're on your own. But when you come to whatever support group that you have chosen for Lent, whether it's friends or your program, you guys all, we all lift each other up and so find someone to partner with. Many, many someones, yes.

Yeah, that's ideal. So know that. So everyone, the five spiritual resistances or attacks that you can expect, which are a good sign, when you tell our brain this is totally normal, nothing's gone wrong, is intensified cravings and wanting to soothe ourselves with other things. Obsessive thoughts about other things.

Pride and vain glory. Look at me. I'm so good. All we have to do is say all by the grace of God, discouragement and lack of motivation, which means we lose our resolve and we turn back to the thing. Not a problem, but it leads us into number four, which is despair and self-hate. This is starting to believe who the enemy says we are, instead of who God says we are.

Remember the two questions to pull us out if we do see ourselves fall is well, what do? What do I know now? What did I learn from that? And how can I care and support myself more going forward? Mm-hmm. And the fifth one is ungodly self-reliance, believing that it's up to us and instead we act from a place of obedience, from a place of, this is what the Lord told me he wanted for me.

I am so happy to have you on the podcast today, Denise, and that you shared those because I feel like when we know what to expect, then we can be prepared and we're not caught off guard. And like you said, it's totally normal and it means that you're doing something good. We need that resistance for growth.

If you don't experience resistance, then you know it's, you're not really growing. I would go ahead. Oh, I just wanna say one of the, um, about resistance or crosses, let's say, or hardships. Christy, you are given your crosses and hardships because that's what's necessary for your sanctification. I'm given my crosses and hardships because that's what ne that's what's necessary for my sanctification, for me to learn what the Lord's trying to teach me.

And so we can also recognize that whatever cross hardship, whatever you wanna call it, resistance. For each woman listening to this know that the Lord has something in it for her. He's not just making you go through that so you can suffer and be miserable. He's like, no honey. This is how I'm molding you.

This is how you are going to be the woman that I created you to be. This is how precious and chosen and loved you are, and it is crazy to think of loving our hardships because they're so painful to go through. But I can say that right now. I'm not going through hardship, but to your point, they are necessary on our Saint Hood journey.

Yeah, absolutely. I'm glad I, when you were saying that, I was like picturing me like hugging my cross. I was like. Because really it is, it's, it's how we get to be the person that the Lord has designed us to be and how we can help others. If I didn't have the crosses I have, if you didn't have the crosses, you have, you know, we wouldn't be doing the work that we do.

And I know that we both love it and enjoy it so much, and the Lord knew. We would love it and enjoy it so much, allowing him to work through us to help other women. But man, go. When you're in that hardship, it does not feel, it does not feel like a good thing. It does not. But being able to see the fruit of it and see it on the other side is such a enormous blessing.

And Denise, you are such a blessing in my life, and I'm so glad that you are here with us today. Thanks for the opportunity, Christy. It's always an honor. Yeah. So why don't you go ahead and just let the women know where they can find you. Yeah, you can go to weight loss with the Holy spirit.com. Our Lent program is fasting from the scale.

If you know, for the women who make the scale their God, they find their comfort in the scale. They find their affirmation in the scale for women who struggle with food and weight. Um. If we can just put that metal box aside, the Lord speaks volumes and really draw this clips. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I think I love that of fasting from the scale.

I don't have a problem with the scale, but I have a problem with looking at like analytics, so I think I need to fast from I can on your aura ring or something, or you're like my fitness. Yeah, they should add that. Yeah. How many times did you look at it? Listen. Well, thank you so much. It was such a blessing to have you here again, and I just appreciate the work that you do and just who you are and God bless you and God continue to bless your ministry and all of the women that he has for you to work with.

Thanks Christie. Have a blessed one.

 Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about.

The coaching that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic sobriety coach.com. Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I look forward to speaking to you next. Time and remember, I am here for you. I am praying for you.