114. 10 Ways I Live My Life That Aren’t ‘Normal’ (And Why That Works for Me)

Let’s get one thing straight - this is not a “how to live your life” episode.

This is a behind-the-scenes look at mine.

The choices I make.
The rules I break.
The things I do that make people raise their eyebrows… or just completely not get it.

And honestly? That’s kind of the point.

Because in a world where it’s very easy to copy, compare, and conform - this episode is your reminder that you don’t have to.

👀 A sneak peek:

•  Waking up in the 4’s… every single day (yes, even weekends) 
•  Saying no - a lot - to protect energy 
•  Choosing hard conversations instead of avoiding them 
•  Unfollowing people on social media - unapologetically 
•  No alcohol, no caffeine, no meat 

… and another 5 more to talk about in the episode.

This isn’t about being “different” for the sake of it.

It’s about building a life that actually works for you.

Because the truth is -
The world doesn’t need another version of someone else.

It needs YOU.

Unfiltered.
Unapologetic.
And willing to do things your way.

🎧 If this episode made you think, laugh, or question something - send it to someone who needs a little permission to do life differently. 

📲 Screenshot, tag me @candiceharvey__, and let me know what hit home.

Oh and check out my FUN website for all my services: www.candiceharvey.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello. Oh my god, I've just literally recording on the whole place. Oh my gosh, I just had to. I just had to have some lemon water. Delicious. And I also don't edit the Shake Up podcast, so you just had to be a part of that for two moments. But now I am ready. Thank you so much for your patience. I also want to be really clear about this episode before we dive in today. This episode isn't a how-to guide on how you should live your life. I live a life that's very specific to me. And honestly, not everyone will want to copy and paste it. And that is absolutely okay. But what this episode is today is it's a chance for you to get to know me a little bit better, but it's also a peek behind the curtains at the choices that I make, the rules that I break. Stop it, that rhymed. The choices that I make, the rules that I break. And it's also the ways that I shake things up in my own life. And maybe, just maybe, there might be a nugget or two in here that will spark something for you, something that makes you think, like, hey, maybe I don't have to do things the way that everyone expects me to, which I would love. Like, that is what the Shake Up Podcast is truly all about. Shaking up the way that you think. I think so often we just go through our Monday to Friday, we think the same way. We just do the things that we've always done, and we are in autopilot and it scares the bejesus out of me. And the shake up podcast is truly, like if you can see my hands, I'm like doing that shaking motion, is to shake you up and get you thinking differently. And if this does make you go, I could live my life differently, maybe possibly, then mic drop, my job is done. So buckle up. I am sharing the 10 ways that I live my life that aren't normal. They're just not, they're not normal, but why they work for me and why it's okay for you to carve your own lane too. So, welcome to the Shake Up Podcast. My name is Candace Harvey. I am your host, I am an author, I am a performance coach, I am a former corporate HR professional turned People Shaker. Love that title. And since 2018, I've been running my own performance coaching business, helping humans actually thrive at work. Because I know that you know, working 9 to 5 isn't always easy peasy. It is sometimes back-to-back meetings that should have been freaking emails. It is managing personalities that test your patience and trying to stay productive after 3 p.m., which some days are just harder than others. All that being said, though, I do not believe, wholeheartedly do not believe that you have to quit your job to be happy. But I do believe showing up differently is super, super important, especially in 2026. So if you are ready for a nudge, a reset, or a loving kick up the bum, the weekly shakeup podcast is especially for you. So chapter 12 in my book, The Shake Up, um, is called Uniqueness. So chapter 12 in my book, Uniqueness. And it's all about leaning into what makes you you and being unapologetically different. It's about shaking up your uniqueness, owning it, and recognizing the very things that make you stand out are actually your superpowers. And I talk about this in the book, but my husband and I were actually having a big conversation about this on the weekend. Where are we going? I don't know, we're in the car. We're having, you know how sometimes you just have, whether you're with friends, your partner, your family, and all of a sudden you're just having a cracking conversation. That's what was happening with us. But all of a sudden we were going off in tangents, and I had to go anyway, babe, like I was saying 45 minutes ago, because we just kept getting really excited. But we were actually talking about how we were talking about likability, you know, and how it is something that he doesn't think about very often anymore, where he thinks he absolutely used to, but he's definitely doesn't live his life thinking or behaving in a different way so that people will like him. Like that's not to say he goes through life going, I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me, not like that. But he doesn't live his life worried about how people will perceive him. He's like, I am who I am. And he's very much, probably out of everyone I know, my husband does behave the same way around everybody, which I think is really interesting. I'm not saying that's like the best way to be. I'm not saying it's the worst way to be either. It's just how he is. But whether if he is at work, whether he is around family, whether he is around friends, uh whatever, he really is very much the same sort of person, except that when he is with me and it is just him and I, he is no rules. He's an absolute dork, he's an absolute, he's hilarious, he's just everything. But he's pretty much the same. Whereas I think that I have different sort of sides and parts to me, which I love, you know, and we were having a big conversation about that. How it's not necessarily um it's not like a performance, but there are times where I will push certain sides of me and I will pull back certain sides of me. And I think a lot of people do that, you know, it's it's very normal. However, in terms of uniqueness, for a very long time, I was talking to my husband about this in the car when we were driving to oh, Redcliffe. We went to Redcliffe. We don't have this like the second time we've ever been there. It was such a beautiful day, and we decided to explore and we ended up loving Scarborough. For those who know the area, we decided Scarborough was awesome. We found a house that we liked, we looked it up when we got back, 17 million. Yeah, 17 million. It was beautiful, it was absolutely stunning. 17 million Scarborough. Stop it. Anyway, and I was saying, what was I saying? Now I'm just thinking about the fact that, like, from the beach and you looked up at this house, it had like a glass pool. So, I mean, there's no privacy, right? As in, you would literally just see people's bums and everyone, everything swimming. That's not the point. Hang on, hold, please. Uniqueness. Oh, yeah, I got it. So I was talking about how there I have always been quite unique. We all are, right? But I've always lived my life very differently, but I haven't ever talked about them very much. Like I didn't talk. See, I even get embarrassed talking about this right now. But there is a part, I think it could be in chapter 12, where even I think it was last week, my friend said to me that her husband has read The Shake Up. And he said to her, Have you read uh chapter 12 yet of Candace's book? And she was like, Oh no, not yet. Slower reader, she told me she's a slow reader. Her husband read the book in two days, which I thought was awesome. He's like, I don't think you should read it because she talks about how she doesn't like dogs. And my friend was like, Oh, don't worry about it, babe. I already know that about Candace. Like, we're really good friends, I know that's fine, we're still friends, even though she doesn't like dogs. I never used to tell people that because, you know, I I haven't really met anyone else who doesn't like dogs. There's a few people that I've met, but not a lot, right? And so there were certain things I just wouldn't, I wouldn't bring up, I just wouldn't share. Um, you know, even how I never believed in marriage for a very long time. Again, I talk about in the book, I didn't bring it up very often because people would look at me like I had two heads. Um, and I I was saying to my husband, there was a lot of conversations that I would be in, especially in my 20s, where if I had a different opinion, I honestly just wouldn't say anything. If my opinion was the same, I would speak up, I would make jokes, but if it was different, I wouldn't say anything. And so it was really important for me to kind of realize where I'm at now and obviously make a massive chapter about it where people have differences and it becomes your superpower. It becomes the coolest thing about you. You're probably thinking, I don't know if it's that cool that you don't like dogs, Candace, but I think it's cool, very unique, and I just I don't like the smell of dogs. I don't want to touch them. We can go into it, it's also in the book, right? Maybe you can get yourself a copy and read about it. We'll talk about it later. But I get it. In 2026, a lot of us are hyper-aware of what other people think. Like, hello, social media, likes, shares, comments. It's so easy to start shaping yourself to fit in rather than showing up as your true self. Like, has anyone ever been to the Gold Coast lately? Right? Maybe you live in the Gold Coast. Holy shit, living there would be hectic. But I visit quite often, I've got friends there. I love just going to the Gold Coast, but I like coming home as well. But everyone looks the same on the Gold Coast. It's scary to a point where I don't think you can move there or live there unless you do the same thing to your face, go to the same hairdresser, buy the same active wear. It's scary. And I am going to guess that there is also an element of a pressure to like to conform if you live on the Gold Coast. So if you do live on the Gold Coast, I would really, my DMs are open, my emails are open, everything. I would love to hear what it's like to be someone who lives on the Gold Coast. And maybe you are someone who looks like everyone else. I'm sure you're stunning because you live on the Gold Coast. However, is there that pressure to be like everyone else? So people just end up doing what other people do, or they drink what other people drink. They buy clothes from the same shops, and it's a lot. But the reality, the world doesn't actually need another copy of anyone. And I truly, I truly believe that the world does not need that. Your difference is what sparks curiosity, it creates connection, and it sets you apart. And chapter 12 of my book is a reminder: like, stop dimming yourself to make others comfortable, which is what I did for such a long time. I didn't say the parts of me that were really different, which I'm gonna lay them all out in this episode today, but I didn't say them. You know, and I want people in this chapter of the book as well to shake up your uniqueness. That's exactly what the book's about. It's 24 chapters, 24 areas of someone's life that every now and again need a bloody shake up, and your uniqueness needs a shakeup. You need to be able to own it, you need to be able to celebrate it. And then in the chapter, I actually show you how to do that because it's very easy to go, go shake that part up. It's like, but how? Right? And that's what the book is all about. It is showing you stories of how in all these different areas, so shake it up your confidence, shake up your bravery, shake up your intimacy, shake up your communication. And I talk about how I've had to shake up that area of my life. And then at the end of the chapter, it's the steps on how to actually do that. So you can shake up your uniqueness. However, I was actually thinking about my business lately. I was doing a bit of a review, right? And I was also reflecting on the episode on the podcast a few weeks ago, how to pitch me to your boss without it being awkward. I got so many comments about that episode, which is which was so great. It was such a different episode for me to actually do. Um, but it was a question that I kept getting asked quite a lot. So the messages, the emails, thank you so much for sending them. And I hope that it was really helpful as well, like how to pitch me to your boss, because I'm very aware that there are a lot of coaches out there, facilitators, speakers. Like, I ain't the only one who has the job that I have. However, I am the only Candace Harvey. Actually, I'm probably not. I've never Googled my name, to be honest. No, I might not be the only Candace Harvey, but I'm the only me. You know, the way that I work, the way that I run my workshops, my style, my personality, my why, my background is different. Of course it is. Everyone is. But I'm also aware that I live my life in a way that isn't seen as normal. And over the past probably 10 years, I have made a lot of tweaks to the way that I live my life. And it's now set up in a way that really works well for me. Like I love the way that I live my life. And it's not, it's not awkward, it's not unusual. I think it's awkward for a lot of other people, but it's it's totally just the norm. And it always makes people screw up their faces, it makes people glitch, it makes people unable to comprehend a lot of the time, but it also has got me truly losing like friends along the way and losing work because I am different. But like I say in my book, I am like Vegemite. You either like me or you don't. And I'm okay with that. I don't want everyone to love Vegemite, otherwise, there won't be any left on the shelf at Woolies for like me, you know? But I do want the people who love, love, love, love Vegemite to have access to it. And I also don't want people who aren't a fan of Vegemite to be forced to eat Vegemite. Like how horrible would that be, you know, to be forced to have something you don't actually want. Anyway, this is getting weird, but you know exactly what I'm talking about. But today, I actually sat down and I wrote out, it was really fun preparing for this episode today, but I wrote out the top 10 things that come to mind for me that I feel aren't normal to the average Joe, but are the way that I live my life. And I thought I would share them with you. Not for you, like I said at the beginning. This is not for you to copy and paste begrudgingly and make make you do because you know Candace Harvey said, but this is actually for insight and to potentially know more about me, but also to see how other people live their life and maybe it shakes something up in you to try something different. I would love that, you know. Even I remember, oh actually, I was just gonna go into a story. Oh, I'll wait. God, I just got so excited. I'll wait. But there are sometimes the way that I have lived my life has sparked something and people will give it a crack that don't last very long. They should probably refer to episode from last week, right? When the novelty wears off exactly. Oh, I've just kicked something under my desk. Um, but it hasn't last that long, which is a little bit of a shame. But I always get really excited. I'm like, yeah, go try that thing. You'll love it, you absolutely love it, and then it becomes too hard. So they need chapter um episode 113 when the novelty wears off. So go and listen to that afterwards. So, because although I live my life a certain way, and I say this with love, I actually don't care how you live yours. I know that can sound really brutal, and it often comes out of my mouth when I'm talking to my clients too, because I want my clients, my private clients that is, to really understand that I am going to help you in every single way. I'm gonna support you to be the best bloody version of you that you can. I'm gonna help you to perform better than you're currently performing in all areas of your life. I'm gonna give you all the tools, all the guidance, all the support, everything in my tool belt I will be giving to you. And if you use it, amazing. If you don't, I don't care. I use it. These are all the things that I use that I do, but your life is your life, babe. And this podcast is for me to get different ways across that you can do things differently. Um, and if you jump on it, amazing. And there are a few things that I'm gonna be reading out that I wish my friends and family would get on board with for health reasons, but I also get that it's their life and you do you, boo. So here we go. These are the 10 ways that I live my life that aren't normal, and I'm just gonna go through them all. I'm gonna have a little bit of a chat and we're just gonna see what happens. And I would love after this episode as well, I mean, always, I would love you to share this episode because I think that it will spark really great conversations. But also, if there are any out of the 10 that you're like, I don't do that, but I'm gonna give it a crack, or there is no way in hell, Candace, I'm doing that. You're an absolute lunatic. I'm open to all of it, to be honest. So sharing, chatting, DMs, emails, you name it, I'd love to hear from you. So number one, the way that I live my life that isn't normal is I wake up with a four in it every single day, and I go to bed before 9 p.m. every night. Yep, even on weekends. This is something that so many people look at me like I have four heads. Not two, four, four heads. Oh, that was good. Get it? Because I wake up with a four in it. People honestly don't understand it. And especially because of the way that my life is, and I'll I'll talk about that. My life is my husband and I. Like under this roof, my husband and I. We have a lot of plants, but it literally is my husband and I. So they look at me and go, like, why? Why do you need to get up with a four in it every single day? And I'm when I say every single day, I'm not talking about Monday to Friday. Like Saturdays and Sundays, our cute little eyes are open at four. Um, and if I start with mornings, I love mornings. Okay, absolutely. There is nothing better for me when usually I get up and I go go to the gym. Like that's kind of what I do. I get up and I go to the gym. I also don't like rushing. So even if I go to the gym at five, the alarm goes off with a four in it. I don't like to just necessarily jump out of bed straight away. I used to do that, but I don't anymore. I allow myself to kind of just snuggle and and wake up quietly. Wake up quietly. That's that's weird. Try and think about what I just said then. Wake up quietly, it doesn't make sense. Um, and I like to be able to have, you know, a big pint of water. I like to be able to brush my teeth, do all that sort of stuff, and not feel like I'm just racing out the door with my eyes still half closed. Um, but mornings I just find there's something really special about it. So if I go to the gym, we walk to the gym. So it's just down the road, which is lovely. Or even if I just decide to go for a walk and I know that I, there are not a lot of people awake. So I actually think of as weirdly as is, I think about how many people are horizontal as I am starting my day. And there is nothing going on. There is no one usually messaging. I mean, I do message my friends who are overseas, which I love because they're awake and it's, you know, time zone and all that sort of stuff. But it's just like this free time. It's just this couple of hours that are all for me. And I remember when I worked in corporate, I used to, it was such a funny thing to think back to now because I used to be like, oh, I wish I could have, you know, all this time in the morning and I could go to the gym and I could do this. And I used to say, like, as an excuse, like, oh, I can't because I start work at eight. And it's like, I don't know how I stuck to that belief for so long. Like, oh, I start work at eight. Or even when I started work at nine and still would like, oh, I wish I could get up and do all the things that I am currently doing now, but I didn't ever get up with a four in it. Like I would have got up with maybe, oh, I don't even know if there was a five in it. It probably was like six. And so it's like, yeah, well, you can't do all the things. Like I sometimes I get up, I will go to the gym, I will go for a walk, I will go for coffee, I will meditate sometimes, I will clean the kitchen, I will dick around. I know that sounds weird coming from the mouth of a performance coach, but I love being able to just dick around a little bit in the morning. Like literally, I like even this morning, my husband was like getting ready for work and I just picked up a book and started reading. And I think it was like, I don't know, it was before six, but you know, already done a bit of exercise, already cleaned the kitchen, wasn't really ready to start work just yet. And so I was like, I had my tea and I uh just started reading. I was like, this is so cool. But because I give myself a bigger window in the morning, I absolutely love it. And also because we get up so early, it's pretty hard to go to bed after 9 p.m. And if I'm honest, I start getting like my eyes get heavy around 8 p.m. And that is it. And a lot, again, people look at it and go, oh my god, that's like when I'm just put the kids to bed, and that's when I have my second wind, and that's when I do this and this. And I was like, you do you boo? I'm I'm horizontal at that time. So my first thing that I do that a lot of people look at that isn't normal. I wake up with a four in it every single day. I absolutely love it. I also believe in keeping the same routine Monday to Sunday. So people who, you know, have a particular schedule Monday to Friday, usually Monday to Thursday, because let's be honest, Friday sort of starts your weekend and then Friday to Sunday, you sleep differently, you sleep in, you go to bed later. What happens is you have sleep debt. And so that's why when we get to work on Monday and we feel super, super tired because we all of a sudden have to like catch up on our sleep that we didn't get enough or we got too much, like that's a thing as well. Like if I sleep longer now, I start to feel a bit groggy and I don't feel as great. So keeping on my similar routine feels awesome. Like I actually feel like this is the best version of me, which I love, right? So that is that's my first thing. I wake up with a four in it every single day and I go to bed before 9 p.m. every night, even on weekends. Number two, I don't say yes to social events just because my calendar is free. This is a really big one. So people will invite you to do things, and the very first thing people usually do is what? Check their calendar, right? They check their calendar. I don't do that. I absolutely look at who is asking me, what they are asking me for. Do I want to do this, yes or no? The last thing I do is check my calendar every single time. It's not the first thing I do. I have friends out there who feel every scary of their free time, and I used to do this. I remember when I lived in London, I was the sort of person on weekends where I would go and meet someone for coffee, and then I'd have to quickly duck off because I was meeting someone for brunch, and then, oh, I love this. This was so much fun. I wish we could have stayed longer, but I'm just meeting someone in town at lunchtime, so then I'd go for lunch, and then I'd meet someone for afternoon drinks, and then I'd meet someone for dinner, and then we continue my whole day. And that was just normal. I used to fill up every scary of my time, and I don't do that now. I protect my energy so fiercely. Like it's my greatest asset. You know, I don't read text messages or pick up the phone to someone who I know isn't good for my energy. Like it gets like that. Like if I'm running workshops in a week, especially on weekends, I barely touch my phone, and a lot of my close friends know that. Um, I like to just stay away from my phone because I'm on my phone a lot with work during the week. Um, but if I've got a big day on and I see someone has messaged me, whether it's family, friends, whoever, and I sort of think, oh, I don't know how I'm gonna be or feel after that, I won't do it. Like I literally won't put myself in that space to even try it. Like I protect my energy that fiercely. I'm like, no, not today. I've got to be focusing on this. I also say no a lot. Like I push back a lot. Like I said in my 20s, I used to say yes to absolutely everything. I say no, probably more than I say yes. I say no to people who like want to work with me if I don't feel like the energy is right, because I want every single thing in my calendar to make me excited. To make I'm in control of it. Like my calendar, I'm in control of. Even when one of my executive clients that I'm coaching, even currently, there are things that I look in their calendar, I look at calendars regularly because it's such an indicator of what you're valuing, where your boundaries are at. Like it's huge. Like if you work with me straight away, I will probably be like, Can I see a calendar? Can I have a look at it? But you can hear people go, like they freak out, right? Um but you can see a lot about what you're actually saying yes to. Even in the corporate world, my friends, you do not, and I repeat, you do not have to say yes to every single meeting. And this is not about, because I think when people hear this, they think, oh, Candace, I actually do. I have to say yes. No, bullshit. Like literally bullshit. If there is a you are being invited to something, you are allowed to ask why. You are allowed to ask, is this something that you actually have to be that? You're allowed to say, is this something you have to be or can you send someone from your team? You're allowed to push back on stuff too. You're allowed to actually say, This week, my focus is this. So that week that you just invited me, I have got other priorities. I know it feels crazy and it's not the norm of what we do in the corporate world, but it is absolutely possible. And when clients start working with me and they start doing this, they're like, oh my God, Candice, you're right. I'm like, I know it's crazy. Hey, you're allowed to say no a lot more than you say yes. Like you're allowed to push back. So that's my number two thing. I don't say yes to social events just because my calendar is free. I protect my energy fiercely. I know one of my friends has been saying it for so long because She said it just stuck in her head that she said, I remember the day that you actually said I protect my energy. And I was like, Yeah. Like what is everyone doing if they're not protecting their energy? Like your energy is absolutely everything. I know on International Women's Day, I saw on social media there was this um big event in WA, and like one of the biggest headlines was that your brand is your greatest asset. And I was like, Your brand? Nah. It's not your brand. Your greatest asset is your energy. Like, good luck having a great brand if your energy is off. So that's what I'm protecting is my energy. So that's number two. I don't say yes to social events just because my calendar is free. It's the last thing I look at. And number three, I prioritize myself because I am a better human being when I do. So it's similar to number two, but I really put myself as number one. And I think I was saying on last week's episode actually of the Shake Up Podcast, where I was talking about, oh no, it wasn't. It wasn't last week, could have been the week before. But I was talking about how the word selfish has this real negative connotation. And I actually think the word selfish is a beautiful thing. And it can get really confusing if we are saying that selfish is a bad thing, and then also in the same breath, we are saying self-care is the most important thing. I'm confused. What are we actually saying? At the heart of it though, looking after yourself, putting your your what is it, your face mask, air mask, gas mask. Crap. Why have I just forgotten the name of what happens on the plane? Dunno. Putting your mask on, maybe it's just mask, maybe there's no word in front of it, first before anyone else. This is not like a, oh, I could never do that. I have to look after everyone else first. You will die. You won't be able to breathe to actually help somebody else. There is a reason why we have to look after ourselves. And I know that for a very long time I didn't do that, especially when I got in my relationship with my now husband. I everything I would think about was him first. Him, him, him, him, him, him, him, him, him. And then you start to resent it or you just start to be tired, you start to not feel as good as you can. I prioritize me. And when I do, I am a better human being. Like I'm a better human being. I'm a better wife. I'm a better friend. I'm a better coach. I'm a better facilitator. I'm a better enter in that space because I prioritize myself. There are so many people who prioritize any everyone and anything and leave themselves to last and then wonder why they're pooped. Wonder why they're not feeling as good as they were or how they have been previously. And I guarantee when you think about when you felt your absolute best, it's because you were making time for yourself. So we need to stop being on our high horse and telling ourselves that everything's just really important. Like I've been in workshops before and I have had, and this is gonna sound really awful, but I'm saying it with love, very overweight people tell me that they don't have time to go to the gym and look after themselves. What are you doing? If you are actually not making time to look after yourself and as a result, you are putting on weight, you are feeling heavier, you are feeling exhausted because you're carrying around all this excess, this is not a badge of honor moment. You get to actually have that badge when you are like, as of right now, despite what's going on in my life, I start looking after me. Because when you start looking after you, surprisingly, you actually start dealing with your life, your chaotic life, your full life so much better. So it is actually not a good enough excuse with me where people are like, I'm too busy to look after myself. Bullshit. Prioritize yourself and see how much of a better human being you can actually be. So that is number one. Um number one, it's actually not, it's number three. They're not in any sort of order, but when I wrote them down, that came up as number three. But the way that I live my life that I know isn't normal, especially this day and age, but I prioritize myself. That's number three. Number four is I choose difficult conversations instead of hoping that they disappear. Now, this does not mean that Candace Harvey loves conflict, that I loved confrontation, that I love whatever, right? And I appreciate that that might not even come as a shock where it's like, yeah, well, you know, the girl likes to talk. I'm sure she does choose difficult conversations instead of hoping they disappear. I need this being known. Difficult conversations make me nervous as hell. They bring up so much anxiety for me. I get so uncomfortable. Difficult conversations are not easy peasy breezy. They're absolutely not. However, I know that every time I have a difficult conversation, instead of just hoping they disappear, my life gets better. And this has been something that I have really had to learn. Again, this is a chapter they talk about in the book. Don't know what chapter it is, but it's the chapter on communication, where for a very long time I thought I was such a great communicator because I could talk. There is a very big difference between being someone who can talk and being someone who is very open with how they feel. Being open with how you feel and leaning into those difficult conversations is where holy shit, all the goodness happens. And my husband and I, especially over the last couple of years, we are getting so freaking good. And it is something that I'm so bloody proud of us at. We are still learning. We are still not nailing it, by the way. Like difficult conversations are hard. They are so hard. And there is no book on it, there is no manual, there is no Bible. It is literally just continuing to choose that I want to have this incredible life, I want to have these incredible relationships, and I they don't like problems, don't disappear on their own. Very, very rarely. I was actually running a workshop for Serena Russo, oh, when was it? A couple of months ago now. And there was a guy in there who actually, because it was question and answer time, which I absolutely love. And this guy actually said, Candace, you know, you were talking about friendships earlier. Love talking about adult friendship, love. And he said, Why did you actually say that um if you, you know, don't want to be friends with someone anymore, that you should have a conversation with it? Why can't we just ignore it, move on, and you know, just not have a talk about it? Because he and he was saying that that's how he's dealt with things in the past and he just stops talking to them. And I actually said, because you, yes, you've stopped talking to them. However, the thought of this particular person doesn't go away, does it? And he was like, he laughed. And he said, No, it's not. And I said, and that's why. Because when you are, when you have a difficult conversation, as difficult as it is, you're actually giving yourself permission to release, to allow there to be extra capacity in your brain. If you are not having these conversations, whether it be with a friend, whether it be with your boss, whether it be with your partner, whether it be with whoever, you it's not, I'm not having it, so now I'm free of that. No, you're not. You're not having it. And also it's still there in your head, you know. And I even said, how would you feel if you bumped into that friend in the supermarket? Oh my God, it'd be so awkward. Right. So I have had conversations with people in the past where friendships have broken up. Not all of them, right? Like I'm not Yoda. Don't know if Yoda's doing that either. Um, but I talk about it in my book on in my the chapter on friendship, where a friend that I was friends with for a very long time, we were not friends for a very long time. We bumped into each other. Long story short, it's actually a great story. It's one of my favorite stories that I wrote in the whole book. Um, but we ended up parting ways and having a conversation about that. And it was a big deal to have that conversation because she actually said to me, you know, I don't want to not be friends. And I said, Well, I don't know how this friendship fits in our life anymore. Like it's it's run its course. She was really upset about it. I didn't feel great about it, but I knew that it was the conversation that I had to have. Because if I did bump into her in Woolworths now, I would be okay about it. I'd be like, hey, how you going? And I would mean it. I wouldn't avoid her, I wouldn't want to hide under the apples or whatever it was. Like I would want to have a conversation with her. But that capacity, that feeling now that I actually carried for a very long time because we were just not talking, avoiding each other, was an awful feeling. So I don't want that in my life. I want to have, as hectic as life is, we do not need other things in our brain to take up capacity. If there is an opportunity or a way to free yourself from things, do that. And number four, where I choose difficult conversations instead of hoping they disappear, is a very big thing. There are so many people out there who avoid the difficult conversations, but I need it knowing that it's not easy for me. It's hard. There's a lot of anxiety there, there's a lot of uncomfortable feelings, there's a lot of heart racing, there's a lot of like nervous wheeze that go on, but I still choose them because I know that they won't disappear. And I know that by having them, life is better every single time. Number five, the fifth way that I live my life that I know that isn't always normal. I'm constantly a little nervous about what's coming up in my calendar. And I actually love this one when I came up with that. I was like, when I look at my calendar, every single week, peeps, every week, there is something in there that makes me go, oh God, right? Like literally. Like it makes me feel a bit like, oh my God, whether it's a meeting, a workshop, a presentation, an MC gig, a guest podcast episode, you name it. There is so much stuff that goes on every single week for me that I am I'm nervous about. And I think that that's quite a rare thing. And I I choose that. I would absolutely hate to have a week. And when I was going through this, I was testing myself out and I was going through every week, and I was like, yep, yep, yep, yep. There are things in there that make me a little bit nervous about what's coming up every week, guys. And I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone feels like that. And I'd love you to be able to share that with me. But I remember um, oh God, what was that movie? There's a movie that only came out like last year, the year before. I think it's called the bucket list. I don't even know the actors. Like they're not even that well known, I don't think. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? It's like just a, you know, just a movie that was on Netflix and they're not even that well known. It's a terrible thing to say. Anyway, it would the whole idea was that her mum dies and leaves her, or she wrote a bucket list and she had to do anyway, whatever. One of the things on there was actually about do something that makes you uncomfortable or whatever. I'm I'm butchering this. I probably should have thought about this before I hit record. I love having a podcast that I don't edit. It's so great. And I was actually watching it with my mum and dad because I was staying over on the Sunshine Coast. I had something on the next day, and we were watching it together. And my mum was like, oh my gosh, imagine doing something uncomfortable every single week. And dad was like, Yeah, I know. I said, I do every single week. There is something that makes my heart race. There is something that, and mum was like, Really? I was like, Yeah, 100%. I am constantly a little bit nervous about what's coming up in my calendar, and I wouldn't, I wouldn't choose it any other way. And I think that the reason that I love this about my life is because there is not like I can't think of anything that I could be presented with where I would go, oh hell no, that's too big. No way. If someone asked me to go on TV, if someone asked me to present in front of a stadium full of people, if someone, I'm trying to think as big as I could possibly be, um, wanted me to go and meet Oprah and have, I don't know, all these things are pretty freaking cool. But there is nothing where I would go, not a chance. And I I asked this in some of my workshops as well, where I would say, who in my Discomfort Is Key workshop predominantly, because it's the workshop where I literally make the whole team feel uncomfortable the whole time. And I love it so much. And it's honestly seeing how people are in the beginning of that workshop, knowing that it's called Discomfort Is Key, like they're kind of pooing their pants a bit, and seeing the energy they have at the end of their workshop where they're just on fire because I've literally made them uncomfortable the whole time, is just it's the absolute best. I love that workshop. But I say in that, put up your hands if you would like to come and lead this workshop in front of all of these people. And it's always like one or two people put up their hands, like, no worries. Yeah, no worries. Like, absolutely. Majority of people are like, hell no, I'm not standing up in front of these people. I'm like, why not? Why? Because it makes you nervous? Why? Because you're worried that you'll say the wrong thing. Why? Because it, you know, you might be judged. Like, what is wrong? Why are we not doing the things that make us nervous? And you think about the life that you're living, if that's the way that you are choosing things, it's actually really devastating because there are so many opportunities that you're closing your eyes to, saying no thank you to. Um, but I think the way that I live my life by having something every single week that makes me nervous about, that makes my heart race, um, really preps me for there's nothing too big that I could be presented with that I would go, no, thank you. No way. Right? So that's number five. I'm constantly a little bit nervous about what's coming up in my calendar, and I love that. Number six, the sixth way that I live my life that isn't that normal is I celebrate all the wins, big or small, even if no one else notices. And life isn't just about big milestones for me, it's the little moments that matter as well. So I never used to be very good at celebrating wins at all. Like I would just kind of jump onto the next one. Or I think I used to think it was like a big secret that no one was allowed to know about. I think there is very much that Australian culture of like don't be a show-off. And I was I was brought up like that. Like, don't, no one likes a show-off, my mum, my mum and dad used to say. Um, and so that is kind of it's a hard one to celebrate big stuff when you've been told not to show off, right? Like it's it's a little bit confusing. But when I share that in workshops, so many people are like, oh my god, I was raised like that as well. I was told not to show off. And now it's so not something that I talk about. I think even when um I had Danny Duncan on the Shake Up podcast in January this year, I love that episode. If you haven't listened to it, definitely go back and listen. But she was talking about how the she raises, like she's got four kids and how her dad, I think it was her dad, actually made a comment like to one of her daughters sort of saying, Oh, don't show off or you know, don't stop being center of attention or whatever. And Danny was like, uh, no, dad, uh-uh. That's not how we we talk here. Like she can show off, she can do whatever she wants. Like we're not, we're not doing that in this house. And he was like, Okay, yeah, fair enough, right? Like we're allowed to do things differently. But in terms of celebrating big wins, it's something that I've had to learn to do. Um, but it's not even like it's not like I post it on social media, I have to tell everyone about it. I literally do it on my own. Like a lot of the time I do share, you know, especially every single workshop that I I win, and we call it a win, I share with my husband straight away. Like I love being able to text him and go, Oh, I got a workshop, I got this, or I got, you know, I'm going here, I'm going there. I love sharing it with him all the time with my workshops. But all the small stuff, like I literally will be in my office sometimes. I'm like, go you. Good job. Like, you did that, mate. You did that all on your own, you bloody legend. Um, and I'm I'm really proud of myself for that, because like I said, that wasn't something that I used to do. So celebrating all wins big or small is something that I know is not normal, but I do that. Uh, number seven is I unfollow people on social media often. And I think you should too. Uh, friends have very different opinions on this. I've got friends who I've had conversations with this about it before. They find it rude, they find it immature as well, and I don't agree. Um, this day and age, in 30 seconds scrolling social media, Instagram, Facebook, whatever it is, you can see an ad for something that you don't want to buy, you can see a death of someone that you don't know, you can see a marriage proposal of people you've never met, you can see a program that you don't want to buy, you can see a school friend that you haven't seen in years, someone who grinds your gears in 30 seconds. If someone of in that mix of people doesn't make you feel good, you have a choice. And my choice is not to follow people. Like their business is not my business. And I don't have to be put in a situation where they don't make me feel good. If they're not making me feel good, unfollow. It's not rude, it's self-respect. I have people unsubscribe from my emails weekly. I get it. Does it still make me go every single time? Yes, it does. Especially when they're my friends and I don't want to see my emails. Like I literally think to myself, I'm like, just delete it. Just delete it and support me. But whatever. If people feel that strongly and it doesn't make them feel good where my emails pop up or how I am on social media, don't follow me. And I'm exactly the same. Like I said, I've had friends completely not agree with this way that I do things, but this is something that's very, I feel so strongly about it. Like I said earlier, protecting my energy is so important. And it is the way that I live my life that feels so good. If someone doesn't make me feel good, if someone, I don't know, that their opinions I don't agree with or the way that they show up online, unfollow. I'm not gonna do it. So that is a big thing, and I I really do hope that it again, if you don't like anything that I talk about, share, don't follow me, peeps. We're talking about Vegemine here. You either like me or you don't, and I'm I think that it's very respectful to be able to go both ways. So number seven, I unfollow people on social media often, and I really do believe that you should too. Number eight, the eighth way that I live my life that is not normal is I don't eat meat, I don't drink caffeine, and I don't drink alcohol. Um, and I really do live my life on once I know better, I am better. Once we know better, we be better. So yeah, this is not when you say it all at once, sometimes, and again, I write about this in my book because my goddaughter actually sort of said, when you say it all in one go, because I've got it all on a t-shirt, I literally have vegan, decaf, um, anyway, all of it. And she's like, it just looks a lot on a t-shirt. And I was like, I get that. Didn't all happen overnight though, either. So I stopped eating, I I turned v pescatarian when I was 15, I think, because I went to Thailand and ordered a chicken soup and it came out looking veiny. And I was, I still I can picture it. I can still I know exactly where we were. I can picture what the veiny chicken balls looked like in my soup. It was disgusting, and I just declared I'm not gonna eat it. But for some reason, I was happy to eat fish. So I was a pescatarian for like 16 years, and then how long have we been vegan for? Nine years, I think now. So nine years ago, uh, because I was a I'd been with my husband a year and we were watching a documentary, and we both just decided, I think it was What the Health, you know that documentary that was huge, like nine nine years ago. Um, and my husband, who grew up on a farm, meat eater, said, Let's give it a try for two weeks. And I was like, okay. And I remember as soon as we said okay, he walked over to the kitchen and he started putting everything to the side to give to the kids, like the butter and the mayonnaise and things that just weren't vegan. Like he was going all in for a two-week period, but anyway, we just haven't turned back, so we don't eat meat. Um, I stopped drinking caffeine, like coffee when I started my business because I didn't need a racier heart, and also I got a lot of energy, and I don't know if we need to have like think about the pace that I talk in the podcast. I don't know if we we need that sped up, you know? So I drink decaf, I drink my chai, I love it. Um, that's just it. And then alcohol, three years in counting. I haven't had a sip of alcohol. Um, I stopped drinking it. Again, I talk about all this in the book, but I stopped drinking when I tried, when I did the 75 hard challenge, where you don't drink for 75 days, and I never got back into it. So I haven't touched a sip of alcohol, and I freaking it's probably my favorite thing. I love my life of not drinking. It was huge. I've definitely lost friends over it. I've definitely my relationships have definitely changed, all that, absolutely. Um, but there's no way I could go back to it. I think very differently about alcohol, what it does, how it's been introduced in society, how, oh god, I'm not gonna have this whole episode on it, but yeah, big thoughts on alcohol. I probably should do a full episode and then people who love this shit can actually listen to it because I've got a lot of things to say about it. Because I drank a lot for a very long time, loved that part of my life, super fun. Uh, but once I know better, I be better. So that's my number eight. Number nine, I don't want children and I don't feel the need to get a pet. So this is um where do I start with this one? I mean, that's kind of just it. I don't really know where else to go with that. Um, I never really wanted to have a kid. One day I did. I talk about it in my book. One day, one day, scared the shit out of my husband, bless his little cotton socks. Um, but it's never been something. I love kids, also really important to mention. Um, love them. Love, like I've got godkids, I've got um got godkids. That sounded really weird. I'm a godparent to kids. Um, I love my niece, she is seven, going 17. Um, but I love returning them. Love returning them. I just love my child-free life, really enjoy it. Um, and then the pets thing, they just smell. You know, we don't have to go into it. They smell, they poo, and you have to pick up their poo. I find that so weird that you buy something that you have to, they can't, you know, clean up after themselves. It's just adding unnecessary tasks, you know. I get the love and wanting to walk around something furry, I suppose, but not for me, you know. So number nine is I don't want children and I don't feel the need to get a pet. It's always really funny though when people ask if I have kids and I say no, and then they will say, Oh, so do you have a dog? Also, no, also no. And I'm also a lot of fun to be around. So much fun. You know, don't eat meat, I don't drink caffeine, I don't drink alcohol, I don't have kids, don't want them. I also don't, I'm not into dogs, pets, nothing, but I'm I'm a hoot. I'm an absolute freaking hoot. So those things there, like my goddaughter said, if you say them all in one big go, it's a lot. Um, they didn't happen overnight, but it didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. And I um I love it. Really, really happy with it. Number 10, the last one. Oh my god. Number 10. The 10 way that I live my lives that aren't normal live my lives. I have 10 lives that I live that aren't normal. The 10 ways that I live my life that aren't normal is number 10. I love reality TV. Like, I love it. I said it. It's probably a weird number 10, but I've got the biggest smile on my face. I absolutely love it. So, like, married at first sight, um, Love is Blind. I think I've watched all of them. Um uh RuPaul Drag Race, um what else? I do still like The Bachelor, but I think it's just gone a little bit. Oh, Love Island, Love Island's really, really cool. Um I just watched Age of Attraction. That was cool, because that was, you know, they didn't know how old their partner was, and then they found out and there's like big age gaps and all that sort of stuff. That was pretty interesting. Um, I just love it. And here's why. For me, it feels like a front row seat to human behavior. Like it really does. Like unfiltered, messy, raw, sometimes bloody hilarious. Even though, like, married at first sight has been, I don't know, going for On for like 47 years and it's getting worse, and people go on it for the influencer opportunities, not love. I understand that about reality TV. I understand that people know what to expect. Like, do you remember the early stages of Big Brother? So cool. And then Big Brother just started to like just it was weird. Like they don't even talk about getting to know each other anymore because it was just, it's strange. So I get that. Like I get that we're in 2026 and people have very different agendas. However, they go on it knowing how the show works and they still come across as knobs a lot of the time. And I watch it because it's absolutely a reminder that people are complicated. They're imperfect, they are friggin' endlessly fascinating, just like us. Um, and also I really like that it's a conversation. There's a lot of conversations that I think come out of reality TV that allow you to bring back into your own world. You know, I have to just do it in a clever way because if I it loses credibility if I bring up a conversation with my husband and go, on Married at first sight, so you just can't do that. You just gotta be like, hey, I was thinking, even though I was thinking it because I saw it on Married at First Sight, you know, you just gotta be clever about it. But it sparks a lot of different conversations. Um but yeah, I just and I just also think like, you know, if we think about being real, sometimes I also just don't want, you know, self-improvement strategy or deep thinking. Like I just don't want to be sitting in front of that. Sometimes I just want to watch someone make a complete mess of their life for 45 minutes and feel like, I don't know, secret secretly like really freaking great about my life. I just find reality TV is entertaining. My husband hates it, that's why it's really funny. This is number 10, he just doesn't like it at all. Um, but it's also just a lens, like it shows me what works, what doesn't, why people do what they do, and if that gives me a few laughs along the way, like perfect. But in short, I just think that like it's curiosity, it's reflection, it's fun, and life is just too short to apologize for what sparks joy. So even if it's a little bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, I absolutely love reality TV. So there you have it. That was my 10 ways that I live my life that aren't exactly normal, um, and why they actually work for me. Remember, this isn't actually a blueprint for how you should live your life. It was really a glimpse behind the curtain at my choices, my quirks, the ways that I shake things up. And it was actually really nice to be able to just say it all out loud because, like I said at the beginning of this episode, there is no way I would have done that um back in my 20s, back when I was living in London. There was so much of me, of the way that I wanted to live my life that I um I covered up, you know, like I just I didn't want to share a lot of things. And now I'm very happy to. Like I used to fill up my calendar calendar. Now, like I say, that I it's the last thing I look at. Like I literally want to protect my energy. I say no so much more than I say yes. I go to bed, I eat differently, I drink differently, I all sorts of things, you know, even with the going to bed early or waking up early, people are like, but you don't even have kids, like you don't have to do that. I know. And we do it anyway, you know. Getting up and going for a really long walk, knowing that people are still in bed is one of my favorite things for ever will be. Not drinking, I love my life, not drinking. Um, and give me some reality TV and some RuPaul Drag Race. And oh my god, stick a fork in me. I love this life. So the point is though, being different isn't just okay. It is super, super powerful. The world does not need copies, it needs the real you in all your unique, messy, brilliant glory. And even though it feels odd to say that you don't like dogs because the entire planet likes dogs, you're allowed to have a different opinion. So I want you to take a moment to ask yourself, like, what's one thing that you might try differently this week? One tiny tweak. Maybe there was something that I was saying where you're like, oh my God, I've been wanting to try that for ages and I just haven't, you know, that just one choice that's yours. Don't think about what everyone else is doing. Don't think about everyone's opinions. My husband and also were thinking, thinking about that, we were talking about that on our cute drive on the weekend as well, where, you know, because we are vegan, because we don't drink anymore, my God, it was brutal in the beginning. The comments that we got from family, the jokes that we still get from family. Like we've been vegan for nine years, and there are still weird comments at dinners and lunches and all that sort of stuff that we have to deal with. And in the beginning it was really annoying, and now it's just like I think they bore themselves more than they actually bore us. So it's it's not always easy leaning into your uniqueness, but my God, it is so, so worth it. So it doesn't also have to be big, like you could choose something really small, but just do something for you. This is your life, you know, and the worst thing that you can do is get to the end of the life and and live a life that kept everyone else happy. Like, don't worry about everyone else. This is your life. Because at the end of the day, life just isn't about fitting in, it's about showing up fully as yourself, protecting your energy, celebrating your wins, and carving your own lane. So until next time, go have fun and shake things up.