115. How To Speak More Confidently On Stage… Like Candice Harvey.

This episode wasn’t planned… and that’s exactly why you need to listen.

Last week I was in Canberra MCing a conference for the Risk Management Institute of Australasia - nearly 400 people, massive keynote lineup, big energy.

I was there to MC.

That was the job.

But after Day 1, something interesting happened…

Person after person kept coming up to me asking the same thing:
“How do I become a more confident speaker like you?”

So… I mentioned it to the interim CEO - and within minutes, I was locked in to run a session the very next day.

We ran it straight after Todd Sampson’s keynote (no pressure)… and the room was packed. Seats full, people standing at the back, leaning in.

Which told me one thing...

This is something people really want.

So, I’ve taken that exact session - the one I pulled together overnight - and brought it straight to The Shake Up Podcast.

If you’ve ever:

• Avoided speaking up in a meeting
• Said no to an opportunity because you felt “not ready”
• Or thought “I could never speak like that”

This one’s for you.

No fluff. No theory. Just real, practical ways to help you back yourself and start showing up differently.

Because confidence doesn’t come before you do the thing…
It comes because you did.

Hit play - and let’s shake things up.

🎧 If this episode made you think, laugh, or question something - send it to someone who needs a little permission to do life differently. 

📲 Screenshot, tag me @candiceharvey__, and let me know what hit home.

Oh and check out my FUN website for all my services: www.candiceharvey.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome to the Shaking Up Podcast. I am so excited to record this episode today. This episode that I am about to record is not the episode that was on the schedule. No, it's not. No, it's not. I've actually bumped it. It's a really great one. You'll listen to it in a couple of weeks. Um, but today I am shaking things up, which is kind of what I do, isn't it? We are on the Shake Up Podcast. I am Candace Harvey, performance coach, former HR professional, and now full-time people shaker. So for over 15 years inside corporate and also the five years running my own coaching business, I have worked with leaders and teams who look successful on paper, but behind the scenes, they're a little flat. They're a little frustrated. And they are nowhere near living a life that they absolutely love. Because let's be honest, the nine to five just isn't always glamorous. It's back-to-back meetings, it should have been emails, it's managing personalities that test your patience, and it's wondering, how is it only 3 p.m.? But here's where I'm different. I don't believe quitting your job is the answer. I do believe performing differently is. So if you're ready to think sharper, show up stronger, and stop coasting through work days, yeah, you are. This podcast is your weekly shakeup. You are welcome. Let's get into it. So if you follow me on Instagram or, you know, Book of Faces or my new found love LinkedIn, I'm starting to really enjoy the LinkedIn platform, everyone. If you listened to episode 113, when the novelty wears off, that's what it was called. When the novelty wears off. I was actually talking about one of my 2026 goals, which was to be more visible on LinkedIn. And how for so many years, like, I don't know, how I don't know how long LinkedIn's been around, but I have always been really resistant with LinkedIn. Like I've just found it super vanilla and super beige. So I just I haven't done it. I've just found all other platforms super sparkly and I've had a really good time. And then LinkedIn, I've just been like, no. But as it turns out, I'm enjoying it. And I think it was only vanilla and beige because I wasn't on it. I think that's the only reason. I think I'm just having a little bit more fun with it, which is great. So I am really enjoying just the different content and the different people and the conversations that I'm having on LinkedIn. So if you're not on it, get on it. And if you are on it, come and engage with me. Please and thank you. It's fun. However, the point is, I was posting a bit about my week last week because I was in Canberra. I actually really like Canberra. I feel really bad saying I actually really like Canberra. That feels very rude to be saying that. But look, they just, I don't know, people just don't think too favorably about Canberra. Um, but you know, when you are there for work, you don't see too much of it. It was beautiful and fresh and crisp in the morning. Um, blue skies, let's just talk about the weather. It was beautiful. But it really did make me want to spend a couple more days there. But I didn't. As soon as the conference was finished, I pretty much left. But I was emceeing a conference for the Risk Management Institute of Australasia. There was almost 400 people there. There were incredible keynote speakers, including Todd Sampson, Kirk Docker, Kristen Hansen, James Kavanaugh, and Mark Squirrel, who is known as Squiz, and they were all just fantastic. Like, you know how literally you can go to a conference and there can be, I don't know, five keynotes, right? And maybe one or two were exceptional. Dead set all five were great. Like Todd got us really thinking about, oh, I guess it was creativity that he was really focusing on, which is such a friggin' passion of mine. I talk about it in my book, The Shake Up, as well. But it was all about doing it and staying creative to keep your brain fresh, as well as the importance of sleep. So he is, he's my guy talking about sleep. It was so interesting though, because he actually asked the whole group, like, who here gets eight hours of sleep every night? And I reckon I was one of a couple. There was not many. And Todd actually said, I hate you, the people that put up their hand, because he said it's it's very rare, a majority of people don't. And eight hours is really in terms of keeping your brain as healthy as possible, is what our body needs. But he made a really interesting prediction. And he said that it's gonna get to a point, he thinks, where all employees will have to wear like a sleep-tracking watch. You know how we've all got those sort of devices anyway. But he's saying it's gonna be something that you'll, you know, you might even be chipped or something and employers will know all the data, but you will have to show your managers every morning how many hours you slept the previous night. And if you got eight hours, then you'll get full pay as normal. But let's say you only get four hours, then you'll only get paid half pay. And I was like, that is so fascinating. Like sleep is so important, right? And if we are not getting what our brain needs, then we're actually not performing at our best. So why would our employer pay us full pay if we're not setting ourselves up for success? I just, I freaking love this. I think I love this because I would always be pretty much getting full pay, which I was a bit up myself about, which is pretty great. Um, but controversial, absolutely. I absolutely loved it. It really got everyone, everyone thinking. Kirk Docker was another fave. I actually hadn't heard of him or his show, You Can't Ask That. And I have since binged it on Netflix, and I am absolutely obsessed. So Kurt's keynote was all about asking questions with purpose, you know, whether you are in meetings, whether you're recruiting, whatever it is, but making sure that they have a purpose and also asking people questions in a way that makes them shine. So it's not just, you know, and I think about all the years that I was, you know, recruitment, because HR was a big chapter of my life, 15 years to be exact. Um, and I think about the amount of people that I interviewed, and it's always very much like, okay, what are the questions that I have to ask? Instead of like, how can I ask these questions in a way that is going to make the other person really stand out, really show what they're capable of? And it was just, it was really beautiful. It was even a point where get these questions clear that you want to ask, but also asking yourself, how would you answer them? And so many people in the group when they were all in the audience, when they were sharing some of their questions, and Kirk would be like, Oh, how would you answer that question? And they were like, Oh, I don't I don't know. Well, it's not a great question then, is it? Because how is the other person going to answer it if you yourself can't answer it? I just thought it was great. He was absolutely bloody awesome. Um, Kristen Hansen, so she is a neuroscience expert, and I love it. At the start, she actually got everyone to raise their hand if like who was a morning person. And so, you know, people raise their hand if they're a morning person, who's more of an afternoon person, and who's an evening person. And basically it's typically the same, she said in all audiences. It's like 80% are morning people, 20% are really great in the afternoon, and only 10% are really good in the evening. And as an MC, it was so fun to play with that throughout the conference because I knew that in the morning I was like, hello, my 80%ers. I'm so glad you're all here with me. I'm one of you as well. And I'll speak to the other 20% after lunch, and maybe the 10%, you'll just your brains all click into gear when we're at the gala dinner tonight. So that was a lot of fun to be able to play with that. James Kavanagh, he was talking all about um AI and adopting it in a way that still feels like very transparent, feels still feels very trusting, feels very accountable. He was super interesting, but he was also talking about um the analogy of being on the dance floor or being in like the grandstands. And I remember when he was saying that, I was like, oh, I know the answer to this. It's gonna be that everyone needs to be in the dance floor. Like, you need to be in it, otherwise, you know, what's the point? And he actually was like, no. It's like he could hear me in my brain. He was like, no, you actually need both. You can't actually be one or the other. You need to be able to be in the stands so that you're away from it, you're looking down, you can like view what's working, what's not working, but you also do need to be a part of it. And I was like, that was that was really cool. And then there was Squizz, who was absolutely fascinating. And he has done some crazy things, that man. Like he has he has done a lot. He absolutely has. But what stood out for me is that he talked about, he was talking about challenges because he has done a bucket load. But he was saying that the actual challenge that people do is completely irrelevant. Like the challenge is not important, but it's the scaffolding around the challenge that's really relevant. Meaning that it's not what you're doing, it's how you're actually set up to handle it. And I freaking love that because it just made me think like we can be doing anything, big, small, whatever it is, it's not that important. But how you set yourself up for success to handle the thing that you're doing, that's what's really important. So I you actually didn't ask for a recap on the keynotes, but I just got excited behind the microphone and I've just given it to you. So you're welcome. So apart from the five keynotes of the conference, there were also another like 40 speakers throughout the couple of days who are running workshops, who are running concurrent sessions, and it was just incredible the way that this whole conference was mapped out. I mean, they've been running this conference for years, like it's a really big event that all risk professionals across the country come to, which is just absolutely phenomenal. And it is one of those conferences where that it's like a guaranteed, like, absolutely, I'll be there next year. Like they just keep coming back again and again and again and again. There was a bunch of newbies, but even the newbies are like, I'm hooked, I'm in, because they make it so valuable. You know, I was saying to so many people there, like if you are gonna take time out of not only work, but away from your family, that you want to make sure that you get to the end of it and it wasn't just uh we had some nice food and we didn't have to work for a few days, but that it's valuable, and that is just like the the information that the guy these guys were getting was just absolutely incredible, which is awesome. So now I I kind of want to trip troop. I want to toot my own trumpet just for like three seconds because I I honestly feel like if I can't toot my own trumpet on my own podcast, like where am I gonna toot it? You know? So I think it was the end of day two or like the afternoon of day two. That it becomes a blur, like after lunch of day two, everyone's like, we're here, we're still loving, and the vibe was still really strong. I was blown away, but your head's a little bit mushy, you know? It's been a coup, big couple of days. But the marketing director, she came up to me and she said that she had just been speaking to a gentleman earlier and she was asking him what his favorite part of the conference had been. And he said, wait for it, he said, uh, Candace's speaking session was actually my favorite for this conference. And then he said, followed by Tob Sampson. I'm sorry. Can you so I don't know, you might not you might have been like driving or you might have been walking, you just missed that. So I'm just gonna repeat that just for those who might not have listened. His answer was that his favorite thing of the conference so far, the favorite speaking session, right, so far, was Candace's speaking session. And then he said, followed by Todd Sampson. Candace Harvey, and then Todd so Candace Harvey number one, Todd Sampson number two. I mean, I asked her to say it louder, I asked her to repeat it a few times, um, you know, and then I sort of let her know that I was going to be organizing merch ASAP, like hashtag better than Todd. Like that, that's all that I heard. So, you know, stick a fork in me. I was absolutely done. But the whole point of that is that it brings me to what Candace's session was, because I got really great feedback from it and I decided that I want to be able to share it on the podcast with you today. You're welcome. Because it actually wasn't the plan for me to run a session at this conference. That wasn't the plan. The plan was for me to MC it, which meant kicking off the welcome reception on the Tuesday night. It meant MCing the two days, so that was the Wednesday, the Thursday, and then it was also MCing the Gala Awards night on the third, the third night, the Thursday night, the third night, Thursday night. Um so after day one, though, when I was talking to the interim CEO and I said that I had had countless people come up to me that day and ask me the same thing. And it was actually blowing me away. Everyone wanted to know how they could be a better speaker, how they could learn how to speak, like I was speaking on stage, which was such a compliment. It was so lovely. And there was just so many of them asking the same thing. So I was just sharing this with the interim CEO, and she immediately, because she's just an absolute boss lady and I love how her brain works, she straight away was like, Well, could you do a session on it tomorrow in morning tea? And because, you know, speaking for three days at a conference is just not enough airtime for Candace Harvey. It's just not. So of course I said yes. I put it together that night, so after day one, I ran it straight after Todd Sampson's session. Oh god, Todd Sampson's session. That's a lot of S's in that. So that was like, you know, no pressure, just sure. Thank you so much, Todd Sampson. And now everyone can listen to me. But the room where I was running the session was absolutely packed. Like the room was full. So the seats were all taken. People were standing around the edges, really listening in. And all of this, as lovely as it was, it was just telling me one thing. This is something that people really want. People really want to learn how to speak a lot more confidently on stage. So I thought I'm gonna bring it to the Shake Up Podcast. Like I said, this was not the plan. There was an absolutely other epic podcast episode that I had all planned for you, but that is just moving over Red Rover. We are doing this one because, especially even for the people who missed it at the conference, because I did hear it was during morning tea and some people were, you know, prioritizing having coffee and snacks over listening to me. What? Super rude. But anyway, here it is. Let's get into it. My seven tips for speaking more confidently on stage. Seven tips. So when I actually wrote it down that night, I was like, there really are seven, seven things that have helped me that continue to help me, and that I know will help anyone who is wanting to do something similar. Whether it is getting on stage, whether it is just speaking up more, this is gonna help you. And before we get into it though, I actually do need to say something, some say one thing, right? Speaking on stage is not easy breezy for me. I just I need people to hear that because I really do truly think that people will see or meet Candace Harvey and be like, oh God. Like it's so easy for her. Like she just gets on there and she just is freaking hilarious. I'm still tuning my own trumpet. But it's so easy for and it's not. Every single time, and I need you to hear this, every time I do a workshop, every time I deliver a keynote, every time I am seeing, whether it's for 400 plus people or a small group, I get nervous, like butterflies, like that shaky energy. Like sometimes it's like I need water, and then water doesn't do it, like you got dry mouth, and sometimes you feel a little bit numb. Sometimes I do like countless nervous wheeze beforehand. It's a thing, right? And it happens to the best of us. But here's what I know to be true: those nervous feelings, they're not a sign to abort mission. And I say this so often. It's not a sign to go, I'm not made for this. This is not for me. Hell no, let's leave it to someone who finds this easy breezy like Candace Harvey. Nah. When you are feeling those nervous feelings, it's actually a sign that you're about to do something that matters. And I remind myself of that every single time. So if you are holding yourself back, if you are not speaking up in meetings, if you're not putting your hand up, not going for opportunities because you're scared, cut it out. Like the people that you look at and think, I wish I could do that, they're scared too. The only difference is they feel it and they do it anyway. So don't be fooled. I am right there with you. I get nervous. But being the person who shifts a room, who makes people think differently, who creates impact, like that's what I get to do, and that's what matters more to me than having a little bit of a racing heart. And also the racing heart stuff only happens at the beginning. And maybe for the first minute or so. And after that, it's easier. Oh my god, you know what that actually made me think of? I am not a runner, right? Not a runner. No, no, have tried a million times, probably will continue to try because you just see some people running. It's like if they can do it, I can do it. So I just I get fooled sometimes and I want to give it a crack. I don't enjoy it. But I have heard, people have said this to me countless times, that the first two kilometers of a run, ugh, who is running even more than that anyway, it's gross. But apparently the first two kilometers are the hardest. And people who run marathons, people who run every single week will tell me this that the first two K's are the hardest. And then guess what? It gets easier. And it is absolutely the same with public speaking. That feeling beforehand, right before you're about to speak, even when you do introduce your name, is like, oh my God, I can't believe all these faces are looking at me. It is so nerve-wracking. And then a minute or so later, easier. I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever had a session where the entire time that I have spoken, I have been nervous. It's just not a thing. It's not a thing. The first little bit will always get that heart racing, but once you get over that, you're you're in your groove. You're okay. So it's not allowing yourself to think that this whole thing will be a colossal, nerve-wracking, crazy, it won't. It just won't. And it's got to matter more to you than your heart racing. You have to get over yourself. And I say that with so much love because speaking on stage actually isn't about you. It's about the impact that you can have. And even last week, where I knew that this was going to be a big thing, there's going to be a lot of people. I haven't met these people before. There was a previous MC beforehand that did this conference four or five years in a row. They knew her. No one knew me. Right? But I had to remember that this is an absolute honor. It is a privilege. It is an absolute pleasure to be able to stand up and be the person that gets to speak on stage. It's an honor, right? So let's jump in. The seven tips to helping you to speak more confidently on stage. Number one is speak every chance you get. Number one, speak every chance you get. You can't get more confident speaking if you hardly speak. It's just not possible. If you want to get more confident, you have to start doing it a lot more often. You can't just read a book on public speaking. You can't just attend a course on how to be a better speaker, or you can't even just listen to a great podcast episode by Candace Harvey. You have to get yourself speaking. Whether it's at networking events, whether it's at conferences, whether it's at work meetings, doing presentations, to get better at the thing, you have to do the thing over and over and over. I mean, even if you think about it, if you want to get better at the gym, right? Like be someone who feels more comfortable in the gym, you can't just go once and then boom, you feel great. You have to go again. You have to go back to the gym again. You have to try different parts of the gym. You have to try maybe a class here and there. You have to speak to someone at the gym. And then once you keep going back again and again, you start getting better at the gym. You start feeling more confident at the gym. And it's all about putting in the reps. You have to put in the reps. It's the same with speaking. Like even myself, I'm a professional speaker. Yes, I am. However, I still have to put in the reps, which is why I said yes to doing the session last week on top of my M Sing. I still speak at every chance I get. I want to keep getting better. And the more times you speak, the more confident you get. So, number one is speak every chance you get. Like even at the conference, and people listening to this who were there will remember this. It was actually Kirk Docker's session. And he said it at the start, he said, you know, there's going to be a part where I'm going to need a volunteer, like someone who's actually going to have to come up on the stage, and he set the stage up exactly like how his show, where he has the questions and the cards, and you've got to pick a question, and he had the chair up on the stage and a table. So it was all set up. So we all sort of knew he was going to ask someone to jump up on stage. And when he said it, you know, the time has now come for someone to do this. There was this lady who shot her hand straight up, like incredible, straight up. And he was like, Whoa, yes, you come up on stage. You know, why you? And she's like, Oh my god, I never do anything like this. I just knew that this was something that I had to do. Like, I'm I'm such a planner, I'm such a this, and I can't believe I'm doing it. She was incredible. And she was also at the very front row of my session on how to get more confident speaking on stage. Like this lady was all in. She was outside of her comfort zone, but she was doing the things. And as a result, not only did she inspire the entire conference, like everyone there was like, you were incredible getting up. Like the way that she articulated, she was so vulnerable. She just answered the questions so beautifully. But we also knew that this was not her regular style. This is not the person that she is. However, she looked at this that she was going to start speaking at every chance that she could get. And it starts there. It starts where if you're attending something, it's like we need a we need a volunteer. Or does anyone have any questions? Or blaz-a-b-put your hand up. Be that person who gets to speak. Every time you do, you just keep learning. You keep getting more comfortable. If you want to get better at speaking, you gotta speak, my friend. You gotta speak. So speak every chance you get. That's number one. Number two is prepare and practice. Prepare and practice. Prepare and practice. Practice and prepare. That is number two. Never wing it. The amount of clients that I have worked with on a one-on-one basis who come to me and they will attend one of my workshops and it will be similar conversations to what I had last week in Canberra, where they will say, Oh my god, I need to work with you, Candace, because I need to be able to speak how you speak. And I'm like, I love that. There is nothing better. Like every person that came up to me, I think were incredibly brave. And because I am such a fan of asking for what you want and, you know, learning from people who you feel are doing the thing that you want to do, there is nothing better than that. Like, absolutely. I just think it's incredible. Like I love that every single one of those people did that. And especially the people that end up working with me one on one. But usually when I start working with these people who want to become more confident, and I will say to them, what are you actually doing right now? Like, how do you, how do you speak? And they will always say, I wing it. And I will then say back, how is that going for you? It's not. It's terrible. I stumble. I'm nervous. I go all over the place. I'm not as articulate. And I just, no shit, right? At school, if you had a test that you had to do, what did we do? We prepared. We practiced. So that you would then get to the test and you'd be like, oh, I know a few things. I'm going to be okay, as opposed to not practicing. And then you end up to the test on that day and you are absolutely bricking it because you haven't prepared, you haven't practiced. Right? Before every workshop, every keynote, every day of the conference last week, I would prepare and practice, prepare and practice, usually in front of a mirror. I did not go up on that stage and wing it. There was nothing. From the very moment that I had said, hi everybody, great morning, how are we going? All of that was practiced. I would have said that line a million times in front of the mirror. Hi everyone, how are we going? Great morning. Over and over and over again, right? All of my jokes are also practiced. The way that I'm going to integrate what happened the day before or how I'm going to transition into something else, it's all practiced. If you wing it, the nerves that can be created by that is really hard. But the confidence that is built, if you are someone who has prepared and has practiced, oh my God, you feel so much better. Right? Like how I'm going to lift the energy is all practice as well. Like I don't wing it. And that gives me so much confidence. So please don't think, and I think I actually even said when I was running this session, who here thinks that I just get up and wing it? And everyone put up their hand. And I was like, I love that. That's great, but I don't. Not one bit. Everything's prepared. And that doesn't mean that sometimes it goes off course because you never know. When you're when you're dealing with people, some people put up their hand, they ask the most random, weirdest questions. And I love that I have behavioral flexibility and I can lean into all of that because I've been doing it for so long. However, at the end of the day, I still have an agenda. I still know what the purpose is of every little piece that I am doing so that I can feel so much more confident when I'm up on stage with that microphone in front of my mouth. So that is prepare and practice. Number three is shake up your self-talk. Shake up your self-talk. At the conference last week, the people coming up to me were saying things like, you know, speaking makes me nervous. I'm not much of a speaker, Candace. I could never do what you do, Candace. I'm just not funny. I don't think I could do that. You continue to speak like this, like if you the way that you are speaking about yourself as a speaker, it is not helping you. What you are currently saying about yourself as a speaker matters. And you have to catch yourself. We have to change this to saying things like, you know, this matters to me, and I'm learning to channel the nerves, or I'm building my voice every time I speak, or I'm developing my own version, or I'm, you know, being authentic is important to me. Like saying these things in not a, you know, it's not about just deciding that you want to have all this positive self-talk. Like I'm not saying that I want you to go, I am strong, I am brave. I I mean, if that is your thing, you do you-boo. Like that's fine. However, it is, it is all about like catching yourself when you're saying, I'm not good at that, I could never be like you, I'm not this, I'm not that. You're never gonna be. Right? You cannot be a confident speaker if you are telling yourself on repeat that you are not good at speaking. Like, good luck. So, number three is so important. Shake up your self-talk. And the most important thing that you have to do is you have to catch yourself. Catch yourself. And when I was having these conversations with people last week, and if they are listening to this again, they will remember that they were like, oh, I'm just I'm crap at speaking. No, no. No, no. And I would jump in there and I was like, that's not helping you. They're like, yeah, you're right. I'm learning to be a speaker. Absolutely, you are. You are learning to be a speaker. You are about to get great at speaking. You are developing your own style because I was saying to all these people who were not Candace Harveys, by the way, they were very different people. Like risk professionals in general, well, they were different people. Lovely people, by the way. They completely need a rebrand. I was saying this to so many people because I just thought that they were into reporting and spreadsheets and compliance, and I'm a robot who doesn't like risk. They weren't like that at all. They were so caring. They were so people focused. They were just lovely human beings, but majority of them were introverts, right? So that is not to say that just because I am the way that I am, that have the energy that I have, means that you have to be that person. You have to develop your own style and you have to lean into that. Like what works for you. Just because I am hilarious on stage does not mean that you have to be hilarious on stage, but you do have to be authentic. That is important to you. You know, even I was actually having a chat to one of my two besties a few days ago, and we're so different, the three of us. And we're we all have businesses, though, but we just have different styles. And, you know, we're sort of saying that one of us, one of my friends, her name is Di, she is super direct, like super direct. And that is the best thing about her. Like there is no wishy-washiness. She doesn't beat around the bush. She's like, this is how it is, and it hits you in the face sometimes, and you love it. And then sometimes you want to cry and rock yourself to sleep, but she's amazing. And then my friend Ange is so calm. She is one of those people that when you're around her, you literally exhale, like it's the best. Like I remember meeting her for the first time, and I was a little bit wound up because that's what Candace Harvey usually is. And then I meet her and I'm like, oh, I love being around you, right? Like that is her superpower. And then when you look at me, it's like I do bring the energy. I have a lot of energy. I am funny. And it's like that's the piece. So it's like whatever your style is, you have to know that about yourself. So not trying to be anyone else, but making sure that whatever is coming up when you start comparing, when you start doubting, you need to shake up your self-talk because it's getting in your way. Number four, look at the evidence of what's already worked. Look at the evidence of what's already worked. Like surely you have spoken before. Maybe not on stage, but in meetings, maybe in front of people. And I want you to think about when you have done that, what actually worked, what didn't work. And it might even be like the fact that you've been winging it up until now. Has that worked for you? Maybe not, right? That hasn't worked. But what has worked, the fact that you held yourself a certain way, or that you um, you know, started talking in a certain way, or you got people to raise their hand, or whatever it is, it's looking at what has worked for you. Or maybe you have seen a bucket load of speakers in your life so far. Some that you classify as great speakers, some that you classify as ordinary. It is also really important to be able to identify ordinary speakers that you see and claim why. Like the amount of speakers, I saw about 45 speakers last week. Some are exceptional and some need a little bit of assistance. Okay. And that's totally okay. The fact that they were up there and giving it a go, I was proud of every single bloody one of them. But you have to be able to be that person if you are wanting to be a speaker, a better speaker than you currently are. It's about what works for you, right? What have they, what have other speakers that you have seen, what are they doing that you feel like lands? What are they doing that doesn't land, right? As a speaker myself, I am always watching how other speakers do things, how they introduce themselves, how they interact with the audience, how they engage with people on and off the stage. And does that actually work? You know, even comedians, for example, like when comedians are actually preparing how they're going to do their, what do you call it? Their stand-up. There it is, their stand up. They write everything out. And at the very end of it, they go back to it and they go, what actually landed and what do I need to dump? Like what just didn't land? Because we've all seen comedy shows, right? Where all of a sudden they'll say something and like one person laughs, and you're like, oh my God, thank you so much for coming, that one person. But they probably won't do that joke again. They'll scrap that. But the stuff that did land that was hilarious, they will absolutely use that again. So we have to keep as we do this ourselves, but as you are looking at other speakers, look at the evidence of what has already worked. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. The way that I have my style as a speaker now, it is, you know, I can't even, I'd love to be able to tell you how many times I've spoken. A gabillion and one times. Okay? A gabillion and one. And out of those times, there have been things that I have done where I'm like, I will never do that again. That didn't work. They looked at me like I had four heads. Won't do that. Nope. And there are other things where I'm like, oh my God, that was amazing. It works every time. Like that's so, so great. You know, so you want to be able to have this style of yourself, but also constantly going, what works, what doesn't. So number four is look at the evidence of what has already worked. Number five, drum roll for this one. Because most people won't do this. Ready? Oh, is that don't I have a drum roll button here? Hang on. That's not the button. That's not it. That sounds terrible. Number, okay, stop, birds. Stop. Yeah, that was terrible. Number five is record yourself. Record yourself. And most people will never do number five. And I want you to have a think about this for yourself. The next time you're speaking, would you set up a tripod and record yourself? Would you ask a friend to record you? Would you ask a random person to record you? Would you? And if your answer is hell no, no way, I would never do that. Get over yourself. You have to get over yourself. If you want to be a good speaker, I am not even talking about a great one. I'm not talking about a professional one. I'm talking about a good one. You have to see what others are seeing. You have to see it. People actually won't tell you. I know that sounds really odd, but they won't. They will say that you were great because they will know that you will nerve you were nervous and they will want you to not feel bad because that's what humans are like. So they will say you did great, even though you might not have, mate. You might not have, but they will tell you that. So if you are wanting to be a good speaker and you actually record yourself and look back, you might see things like, oh my God, I keep touching my hair. I'm putting it behind my ears. Like, what am I doing? I keep touching my nose. What am I doing? You might find that you're pacing too much. It's like, why didn't I just keep still? You might find that you're not moving at all and that you look like this weird robot who's just staring out into the crowd. You might see that you're actually looking down at your notes all the time when you thought you weren't doing that. When I was working in HR and I was doing fly in, fly out, I remember I was actually running a training session on sexual harassment, actually. That was fun when you're doing fly in, fly out and you're, you know, the minority, there's like five women around and all men and you're doing sexual harassment training. Awesome. Yep. But I was doing that and I got recorded. I can't remember why someone recorded, not in a creepy way. It was like, it was like a manager of some other department wanted to record it and sent it to me, and I watched it back. And I remember not wanting to, okay? So this is not like, oh, Candace loves seeing herself. I actually don't. It's awkward, it's weird. I sometimes look at it and I'm like, why does your hair look like that? Does your nose look like that in real life? Like all the things, right? It's not, it's not fun. I'm very critical of myself. I'm human at the end of the day. But I remember doing Fly and Flyout, watching this sexual harassment training back, and I used to wear a lot of bracelets and they were jingling everywhere because I move my hands around like I'm Italian and I'm not. And it was so distracting. I was like, no one ever gave me that feedback. Ever. Everyone would just be like, you're great. You're really good at doing that sexual harassment training. Like, of course they're just gonna say that. But if I hadn't watched myself back, I'd be like, oh, so now, ever since then, I make a point of not wearing any two over-the-top jewelry at all. Like, I don't wear big jingly jangly earrings. I save those for the weekends. I make sure that even on my wrists, I don't have anything that'll distract people on purpose because I've learned that from watching myself back. So it is not cringy. I mean, it is a little bit, but like I said, get over yourself. Watching yourself back, if you are serious about being someone who is more confident, you have to be able to learn from what you are doing. And as a result, you will improve. So please record yourself. Even actually last week, because I didn't I didn't know anyone. I mean, the people that hired me were absolutely lovely to do the event, but I didn't have any friends to record. So there was one point where I was about to get on stage and I was there was no one around. I literally got a water glass. I had my phone, I put it on one of the tables and I hit record so that it was facing the stage so that when I got up, I could actually see what I was doing on stage. It was the best thing because I actually realized I wasn't moving around as much as I thought I was. And when you're on this massive stage with this massive screen and there's just this dot of a human there, you kind of do have to do a little bit more. So I recorded that for myself, literally to learn. My biggest goal is to be a better and better and better and better and better speaker. Um, and in order to do that, I need to see what other people are seeing. So get over yourself and record yourself was number five. Number six, we're nearly done. See it before you do it is number six. See it before you do it, which is all about visualizing what's gonna happen. Our brains love a rehearsal. They love it. They absolutely love it. You will already be nervous about the fact that you've got to have words come out of your face, right? So you want to allow yourself this time to see what this whole thing is gonna be like. You might be talking for five minutes, you might be talking for half an hour, you might be talking for two hours, whatever it is, you need to be able to visualize what you think is gonna be happening, what is going to happen when you're doing that, right? Like you want to get there early, not bang on time, definitely not late. Like, even the speakers that I've seen get there right on time, they're completely flustered because they're like, I'm here, okay, let's go. And they haven't been able to regulate their breath, they haven't been able to see where everyone is sitting, they haven't been able to see where the microphone is. If there's a microphone, is there a clicker? Am I using PowerPoint presentations? And it's just a shit start. So you want to be able to give yourself some time to see it before you do it. Even Todd Sampson, he got there though. Oh, if you don't know, Todd is the guy where I was better. So it's I was better than Todd. Yep, me, number one, was the best speaker. And then Todd, I'm never gonna forget it, right? But anyway, Todd got there like 30 minutes earlier. By the way, I love him. He's amazing. And he actually went on stage, because like I said, it was a massive stage. He got on stage and he was in silence because I was with him, so I was off to the side, giving him his time, and he just wanted to get on that stage. He just stood there, he looked around, he looked at all the tables, he wanted to see where the clicker was, where the big friggin' bloody screen was behind. I don't think I've ever seen a bigger screen. It was absolutely massive. It was in the convention center, so you'd expect it to be quite impressive, but it was. But he was just in silence and he was just looking around, he was breathing it in, he was visualizing what it was going to be like when people were there, when he was giving his keynote. He was and he was actually really nervous because he hadn't been in front of wrist professionals before, which is so interesting because you just sort of think, Oh my god, he's been doing this for years, like surely he wouldn't actually be nervous. He is human and he also gets that nervous feeling, but he feels the fear and he does it anyway. But he did appear to be quite nervous. But he did say to me as well, he's like, I could never do what you do, Candace. I was like, What do you mean? You're Todd Samson. He's like, There's no way I could MC. He said he's been asked previously, like countless times, to be an MC. And he's like, No way. He said he wouldn't be able to keep the energy, he wouldn't know what to say. And when I got off stage, because I was introducing him, got off stage, and he was, I can't remember what he said because it was, he was quite soft and there was a lot of commotion going on. But he actually did say after he said something with a cute smile on his face, he said, you didn't even have a script. And I was like, no. I felt like saying no, because number two, I prepare and practice, prepare and practice, prepare and practice. But he was blown away that I got up there, I did what I had to do, I came back. So I was getting the crowd sort of warmed up for the morning. I was getting them to go in partners and do things and reflections and telling the purpose of today. And I had prepared and practiced, prepared and practiced, prepared and practiced. But when I got off, he was like, You didn't even have a script. I could never do what you do. But the point is, he got there early, and I didn't think he would actually. I thought he might get there, you know, five, ten minutes, but he got there half an hour early, literally to get himself comfortable with the environment, to know what was going on. And I thought that was a really cool thing because again, it ticks off number six. See it before you do it. And then number seven, the final one is see yourself the way others already do. This is so important. I say this with so much bloody love. See yourself the way others already do. Meaning people see you as a speaker already. Your friends, your colleagues, your family all know that you can be a phenomenal speaker. So catch up. You have to see yourself the way others see you. You are amazing. You have stuff to share, you have so much to give. So get up there on stage and make yourself super, super proud. Because every time you do speak, even if it's a fumble, even if you go really hard on yourself, which as human beings we bloody love to do, we are so annoying like that. You have done an incredible, incredible job. And even when I said that I was recording myself and I looked back, I actually didn't think I did that great a job because I'm human and I'm hard on myself sometimes. And when I watched it back, I was like, actually, you did a really great job. Yeah, I did. And you will make yourself proud because being a speaker is not something that everyone does. It is one of the biggest fears out there in life. People and public speaking are like, no, thank you, ma'am. And they shut themselves off from it. There was even a lady that I met at the conference when I was talking about my session, and she said, Oh, there's that, I've got no desire to speak on stage. And there was another lady who was like, Yeah, but you understand the value that can come if you do and the impact. And she was like, nope, she was so closed off from it. She was like, no way, right? But the people listening to this right now, the fact that you have listened to my 40-minute or so episode on this means that you are someone who is wanting to learn how to feel more confident on stage. And this is exactly it, the seven ways to getting you to speak more confidently on stage. This might be one of those episodes that you re-listen to, especially the next time that you speak. And I absolutely love that. Please do that. And if you take one thing from this episode, let it be this: you do not become confident and then start speaking. That's not it. You start speaking, and that's what builds the confidence. So stop waiting until you feel ready. Stop waiting until the nerves disappear because they absolutely won't. Trust me, I've been speaking for a gabillion and one years. I still get nervous. All you have to do though is say yes. Put yourself out there, back yourself because your voice, your ideas, your perspective, they matter more than you think. And the only way people are going to hear them is if you actually speak. So until next time, go have fun and shake things up.