Let That Shift Go
Welcome to "Let That Shift Go," a podcast hosted by siblings Lena and Noel. Join them on their journey of self-awareness as they delve into meaningful conversations about the human experience.
Lena and Noel have decided to break free from the confines of private discussions and bring their heartfelt, and at times, humorous conversations to the public. They believe that we are all going through the trials and tribulations of life, and it's comforting to know that we're not alone.
In each episode, Lena and Noel will explore various aspects of being human, sharing personal stories, insights, and lessons they've learned along the way. From navigating relationships to dealing with challenges, they'll offer a refreshing perspective on life's ups and downs.
Through candid and authentic conversations, "Let That Shift Go" aims to create a safe space for listeners to relate, reflect, and find solace in the shared human experience. Lena and Noel invite you to join them as they embrace change, growth, and let go of what no longer serves them.
Tune in and be part of a community that celebrates the beautiful messiness of being human. Get ready to let go, laugh, and discover that you're not alone on this journey. Welcome to "Let That Shift Go" podcast!
Let That Shift Go
The Authenticity Shift: Embracing Your True Self in a World of Expectations
Living authentically isn't just a buzzword; it's a transformative journey that brings profound freedom and well-being. This week on Let that Shift Go, we kick off with a heartfelt, fun activity using Skin Deep cards to guess each other’s top three priorities. Through this, we uncover surprising insights about our interactions and reflect deeply on moments of vulnerability. Ever wondered if you’re living genuinely or just ticking off a to-do list dictated by others? We dissect an impactful Instagram reel by Theo Vaughn that challenges us to confront this very question.
Transitioning into personal stories, we discuss the struggle of embracing authenticity after trauma. We share real-life examples, such as choosing to stop drinking alcohol for personal health despite social pressures, and the importance of setting boundaries. This chapter dives into the journey from pleasing others to honoring one’s true self, highlighting the essential role of self-awareness and aligning actions with personal values. The freedom and calm that come from living authentically lead to more fulfilling relationships and a profound sense of purpose.
In our final segment, we explore the broader implications of authenticity in daily choices and major life decisions. From wardrobe changes that reflect personal comfort to career shifts driven by passion, we emphasize the importance of self-compassion and honest communication. Hear about the transformative journey of leaving a secure but unfulfilling career in flight nursing to pursue a passion for holistic healing and self-awareness. We leave you with the encouragement to examine your own life and consider whose expectations you are truly living up to. Join us for this heartfelt conversation that inspires a path to true freedom and well-being.
Hello and welcome to the Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lina.
Speaker 1:And this is where we talk about the good, the bad and all the shift in between. We just talk mad shift, let's get into it and on this week's episode, whose to-do list is this We'll get into that topic a little bit later, but first let's do these Skin Deep cards. You want to go first, sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, what do you think are my top three priorities right now?
Speaker 1:Top three priorities? Well, I think your top three priorities are Hmm, hmm. I think your top three priorities are your physical health.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, because I think that's one thing that you've been kind of looking at your own like physical well-being and then your mental well-being.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, I think, your family.
Speaker 2:I think you did pretty good with that. Okay, although I don't know if those would be in the right order, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh wow, yeah, definitely Top three, top three. Those are the top three. Those can be spiced in any order.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, Okay. Your question is when was the last time you felt vulnerable with me?
Speaker 2:The last time I felt vulnerable with you Ooh, I would say, when I'm giving you my honest opinion.
Speaker 1:I know, but when was that?
Speaker 2:Probably like a month ago, when we all got together and you know we just had like a day at serenity cove and we were just going into it. You know, and it's like you're asking me to be completely honest asking me to give you advice, asking me to do and it was like, you know, and I feel a sense of vulnerability.
Speaker 2:I think, maybe because you know I do I worry about what you're going to say or how you're going to feel, or if you're going to think that I'm, you know, giving you the wrong advice or whatever. I think there's that it's like okay, I'm stepping into, like this open spot, you know, and being able to say this is what I think, and it's like that felt vulnerable being able to say this is what I think, and it's like that felt vulnerable.
Speaker 1:See, that is surprising to me, because, me, I think that I'm worried about being vulnerable with you right and like is this too much? Am I like dumping, emotionally dumping on her? And so to hear you say that you're being vulnerable by opening and basically being afraid to give the right or wrong advice, Is that?
Speaker 2:what you're saying. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah, maybe it is. Maybe, like the way you said it, afraid to give the wrong advice. I think that yeah, that's probably more it.
Speaker 1:But I think you don't really give advice in the way that's like you need to do this. You don't do that.
Speaker 2:I don't do that, but I think in that moment you were asking me to do that, and that's different from what I'm normally comfortable doing. I'm normally comfortable asking questions, so you come up with your own thing, rather than just saying this is what I think you should do.
Speaker 1:But why is that different than like, say, with a client and then me? Do you feel vulnerable with clients also, or did you in the beginning, but then it became. No it's not the same.
Speaker 2:No, and with clients? So I do the same thing. I ask more questions rather than say you need to do this, so I can't even say that I've.
Speaker 1:But it doesn't put you in a vulnerable place. No, but just specifically with me.
Speaker 2:Well, because I have an investment in you as my brother, my family. There's a lot more entangled there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I would say that's where the vulnerability comes in. Well, I learned something here.
Speaker 2:I like that you thought it would be like well, when we went on that hike and I got scared.
Speaker 1:Nope, that's not it. It could be possible. Well, let's get into this clip, this Instagram reel. Yeah. Posted by Theo Vaughn.
Speaker 4:Let's just play it. I don't know if I'm living sometimes or if I'm doing a to-do list and then I don't know whose to-do list it is. Sometimes I don't know if it's my own things that I want to be doing. Is it things that I feel like people want me to be doing? Like, whose expectations am I living up to? You know, I don't, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that one. It hit me hard. I love Theo, I love a lot of the things that he posts, and that one just made me kind of stop in my tracks and go. Yeah, I bet a lot of us feel that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, because this, the journey to self-awareness and healing, really does. Let you come into contact with your authenticity. Yeah, because there's some times where you have to go wait a minute. Am I doing what I want? What do I want?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what is that? Who am I doing this for?
Speaker 2:Who am I doing this for? Yeah, and we were talking about this. If, like, say, 15, 10, 15 years ago, if, or even five years ago, if I were to say to you are you living authentically? It'd be like what does that even mean? You know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you know, five years ago specifically, I had, you know, I felt like with work, you know, and and my family, it felt all pretty good, you know, but I didn't know why I was like miserable. So, yeah, I mean, I had some questions and is there a tie there too?
Speaker 2:I don't know why I'm miserable. Am I living authentically to me? What is authentically to you mean is kind of like what are you saying? Am I living or am I doing a to-do list? And is it my to-do list Right? Because growing up we kind of get a list of things that we should be, should do, what we should wear, how we should act, and we're like, okay, we're ticking those boxes, like I'm doing all those things Until like.
Speaker 1:I eventually got tired of doing other people's lists.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I was like why am I doing this?
Speaker 2:Did you even know it was somebody else's list?
Speaker 1:No else's list. No, but I was so codependent, you know, and just trying to people please, and that was my coping mechanism, you know. So I wasn't aware of it.
Speaker 2:I don't think a lot of people are, and I think this whole living authentically is very it's a very hot topic right now. It's like it's out there for everyone, like, are you living authentically? But if you break it down and you don't really understand, like, what does that actually mean? Right, it's not a lot of people pleasing. It's probably coming into some awareness on what you actually want outside of our own programming, maybe from growing up like you should be a doctor, you should be a lawyer, you should get this type of education, go to this school. You know you should have 2.5 children and get married, you should love a certain type of person and it's like, okay, well, thank you for my to-do list. Quote unquote and now I'm doing all those things. Why am I miserable, you know? Is it because are those things actually things you wanted to do? Is that how you want to be, where you wanted to go to school?
Speaker 1:or what job you wanted to have. Well, a lot of times, if you wanted to please your parents, then yeah, if that was, your goal was to please your parents. You wanted it because it was going to do that.
Speaker 2:So was that their to-do list, or was it yours?
Speaker 1:Exactly. I think that's where we're making that delineation here, just trying to get people to maybe step back a little bit, just to stop and think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, stop and think If you are outwardly successful and inwardly miserable, perhaps you are not living your most authentic life, or something that actually aligns with what you want. Yeah Well, you don't even know that you could have that. That's the thing. It's like a lot of people, you're going to butt up against your fears, right? Because to say no to something when people are used to you saying yes, that people pleasing thing, is very scary.
Speaker 2:The boundaries where it comes up, or be able to, yeah, to be like, oh, this doesn't. Does this mean that they're going to think I don't care about them or that I don't value them? And it's like you know what about valuing yourself and what makes you happy?
Speaker 1:I think the dance there, though, is being able to healthy, in a healthy way, communicate those feelings of like setting boundaries, because I wasn't so good at that. I was. You know I was very defensive and you know, coming across across brash, I would say, you know, whenever I get defensive, so-.
Speaker 2:Well then, it just comes across as anger.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And really, do you even know why you're angry?
Speaker 4:You know?
Speaker 2:do you know that this isn't something I want to do, this isn't something that pleases me, this isn't the life I want to live, the job I want to have. Now what happens to your outward life Probably becomes very stressful. There's a lot of anger, all of that going on, and so you're kind of just looking around like I did. All the things, yeah, sounds familiar your consciousness and your level of awareness on who you are and how you want to show up in the world, and it can be scary to start stepping outside of that if it's something that's important to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I think, you know, my family members started to make me aware that they weren't happy with the way I was and that's when it became, you know, painfully obvious that I, that I needed to make a change, you know, but it wasn't until I kind of was reflecting and talking with them and seeing it was like, oh, well, I guess I need to look at some things here and why am I not happy.
Speaker 1:And so I think you know, going into like that, trying to look into what that was, was where it all kind of started.
Speaker 2:So how do you think it's evolved over time Like living authentically for you?
Speaker 1:Well, dealing with a lot of the trauma has kind of let that stuff, you know, slowly just been working through those things. But I think living authentically is a different thing. It's like now, who am I?
Speaker 1:You know, because a lot of the ways that I was living was to please a lot of other people and not just live for me. So now it's kind of like oh man, I don't like to do this anymore. I do like to do this still. But how do I mesh these two together? Yeah, and just trying to find a way to live. That's you know, because I think it becomes isolating when you're trying to find who this new person is you know living authentically, and sometimes you're afraid to dress a certain way.
Speaker 1:But now I find myself. The way that I've evolved is started to take care of myself you know and love myself in an authentic way.
Speaker 2:You know it makes me think about how you like stopped.
Speaker 1:You know, even using alcohol, right you were not an alcoholic per se.
Speaker 2:But when you got to a place where you're like actually I can feel myself I'm working through the traumas that I've had to go through in life and there's a level of self-awareness there that I no longer want to drink alcohol right, but you have friends that you've always hung out with that do, and it's kind of like well, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's nothing. I mean, I still hang out with people who drink. My wife still drinks. I'm like you know it's, it's not for me, it's not because of sobriety, it was just my relationship with alcohol, but it was a conscious choice and that is.
Speaker 2:is that more authentic?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's authentic to me, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, so that's like looking at that. That is the way that you had to step into. A version of your authenticity was to say no to something that no longer aligned for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I realized I had to put like make something taste so good in order for me to, you know, ingest it. And you know thinking about beers when I I remember my first experience with, you know, stealing a beer away at one of the parties at an uncle's house, and you know me I think it was Eddie boy and Miriam cracked open like a Miller Lite or something and drank it. It tasted disgusting and I was like I don't know why these guys are all drinking this stuff and flash to today it doesn't taste much different, but we have an acquired taste to reach an acquired feeling and so I just realized I'd much rather drink other things. And it messed with my stomach and all the digestive system and had acid reflux.
Speaker 2:So that was the biggest thing for me, yeah, and being able to be in your same group and instead of just falling in line with whatever everybody else is doing, you have to say no. To say no, this isn't for me, just even that is a version of having to switch into a level of authenticity for yourself. Yeah, you know, yeah, that is a challenge.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because when I go now, I've learned to say I'm not drinking today. Yeah. It makes it easier than I stopped drinking. I haven't drank, or explaining my relationship with alcohol was just oh, I'm not drinking today. Yeah. And it seems to be go easier. But I'm okay with it. Living authentically. You know that way is getting easier and easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's. I think that's one of, like, the more obvious things of being able to, you know, come into a level of awareness of what you want and then being able to say no or yes, consciously, you know to say no, I actually I don't want it, and that's, that's the end of it. But there's small ways, like we talk about with people, pleasing and setting boundaries, and especially for women.
Speaker 2:I think that women have been praised for being very self-giving, just constantly giving, constantly doing something for other people, and there was something I heard recently about how we're praised, not just women, but men. Oh, they'll give you the shirt off their back. You'd love them. They are so amazing. They'll do this for you, They'll do that for you and that even becomes part of your identity. That this is. I do this.
Speaker 2:I take care of everyone. I give everything that I have, and then this is I'm praised for that. I'm known as a wonderful person.
Speaker 1:For that, that becomes our worth.
Speaker 2:Yes, but is that actually being authentic? It's good to be a good, loving person, of course, but to your own detriment. That's actually out of alignment with who you are or how you want to be in that moment, and that can be very scary. To start saying no, you know. To start saying you know, I can't, I'm not available for that, but that's how you take care of yourself. But sometimes we relate taking care of ourselves as not taking care of someone else or that we're going to be viewed a certain way and so we just do it, and part of that you're doing it with resentment, you know. And if you're doing it with resentment, don't do it. Nobody wants that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know so, but I think that's a very scary place for people to move into is to be able to say no when you mean no and be able to move through those spaces, because actually that's how you teach people how to treat you right.
Speaker 2:You keep saying yes, you keep doing those things when you don't want to. You're just going to get more of that. So, just being able to show up as you are, to say what you're available for, say no to the things that you don't want to do. Say yes to the things that you do want to do. What are the things you do want to do, what are the things that you prefer to do, and how often do you step into that and be able to speak up for yourself? Those are the things I think, when we talk about living authentically, that many of us don't do or we don't realize that. You know we're, we are, we're sometimes checking off other people's to-do lists for us.
Speaker 1:When did you notice, or what was your key thing, that you knew you weren't living authentically?
Speaker 2:Well, I would say, maybe just going and going to certain gatherings you know where I was like I didn't want to be there Then now I don't do it. Honestly, if there's something that's going on and I don't want to be, there's any part of me that doesn't want to be there, I just don't go because I'm not available for that. If it's not something that brings me joy, that I'm not going to bring joy being there, then I don't really want to do it. Or for me also, it was drinking.
Speaker 2:You know, I realized like alcohol didn't make me feel more like myself. It actually made me feel less like myself. And so going out, I don't, I don't do it, and there is this kind of feeling of like I'm going to be kind of left out, or I'm going to be the person that's like oh, she's not doing this or that and I could be self-conscious about that. Or I could be like this is who I Like. I realized I don't need to just dress to impress everyone else. I need to be in something that I feel comfortable in or that I enjoy wearing, or you know anything like that. Or if I do my hair a certain way, right, I recently went back to my dark roots.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard to get used to, but yeah.
Speaker 2:If you didn't know me in the nineties, you don't know. This is actually my hair color. But I was like, why am I dyeing my hair? It's like I think actually I actually prefer it to be what it naturally is. But that was a kind of a vulnerable place, like are people going to think I'm this, or they're going to think this, or they're not going to think I look as good. And then I thought, who cares? This is who I am. This is how I want to show up. Maybe I don't feel like putting makeup on right now, maybe I just want to go in these comfy shoes. That's okay too, and it makes me happier to be that way. And I think that it's more important for me as an individual to feel good about what I'm doing or where I am or how I'm showing up, than to make everyone else comfortable around me, right? It doesn't mean that I'm not going to do things for people or show up for them in a loving way. In fact, if I'm showing up, you know that I want to be there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If we're having a conversation, you know that I want to have that conversation because I'm not going to fake it, you know. I just I think I don't know if it's getting older, like I'm 52. I don't have time to fake it, you know.
Speaker 1:I'm not, I don't Only so much time.
Speaker 2:I don't, I just give less. You know, you know what about things like that? Yeah. It's just. This is. This is who I am.
Speaker 1:This is how it's. You know, before I tried to step into the, awareness was like thinking well, it's just like a feel free, you know, not really giving a crap and letting everything pass over you, but it's not really that. It's not that, it's not that, no, it's more about knowing what I want and what I don't want. It's not that it's not that no.
Speaker 1:It's more about knowing what I want and what I don't want. It's like what somebody told me, grumpy old man. It was like no, we don't get grumpy when we're old. We just figure out what we don't like anymore and we're less willing to kind of get pushed into something that we don't want to do, or if you're a grumpy old man you just pissed.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, part of the thing was I was listening to you talk and I was thinking about Aiden specifically saying that I wasn't really authentic when I was at home or when I was outside of the home. So like in family gatherings with you guys, I was over giving and doing everything for everybody, but at home I was angry and just very controlling. So there was an inauthenticity there but I think was because I was just giving so much and then when I get home I'm just beating myself up.
Speaker 2:You have nothing left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got nothing left for them either.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean. I think that's a sign of like that you're out of alignment.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it was a big one, it was a big sign for me. It was like oh, yeah. That's when I started to take care of myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. How do you think it changes? How do you think living in your truth changes? Changes your life Changes everything.
Speaker 1:I mean just the perspective shift gives a calming. That fear of missing out kind of goes away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think there's a sense of freedom, that, and that sense of freedom of just just being comfortable in your own skin.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know, just knowing that when you say something to someone and you are being honest and you're being honest with yourself and honest with them, that thinking, just constantly trying to figure out what they're going to think about it or what other people are going to think about it is really it's none of your business, like it's your job to show up and be, you know, truthful and to be present. But if you're giving something to someone that you think they want, but that's not what you want, then what's the point? That's not an honest interaction, it's not an honest relationship. So I think that there's this fine line in between people hearing this and thinking, oh, you just don't give a crap about anybody else, you're just living your life just for you to be happy. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is-?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's my question, because that's what's the difference there.
Speaker 2:The difference is you being able to be in alignment with what you want and really knowing what you want, really knowing, like, what is the job I want to be doing? What is the work I want to be doing? How do I want to be spending my time? What if you were able to just have the freedom to do that? And you still love people and you, you know you probably spend time with people that you enjoy spending time with. And guess what, if you enjoy being there, they're going to probably enjoy your company more To be happier people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'd be happy, it'd be a happier interaction. And when you get home you're probably just as happy, right? Because you didn't just pour out everything and have to put on a face and fake it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, imagine if everybody just showed up authentically but wholeheartedly that you do. You care about other people, you care about what you're doing. You're doing a job you love, you're spending your time the way that you like to spend it, and how would that change the interactions that you're having on a day-to-day basis? I think that that does. It changes everything.
Speaker 2:I would say maybe the relationships that I've lost or that I no longer am in contact with on a regular basis. Maybe there was something out of alignment there in the first place. Regular basis, maybe there was something out of alignment there in the first place, but now it's made room for other people to come in, or other interactions or other experiences to come in that I enjoy, that they enjoy. So it's made space for other things to come into my life that actually are more aligned. You know, to be doing work that I enjoy, or to be spending time with people I enjoy to. You know to be able to take care of myself in a way that leaves me healthy. You know, I think that that is really important.
Speaker 2:I think that's a benefit of trying to live an authentic life you know, and I think that that's something that we don't always understand, like we were talking about, you know, five, 10 years ago. If somebody said, are you living authentically? It's like, well, yeah, aren't I? Well, it's like, are you? Have you ever asked yourself what you actually want, what you actually want to be doing, how you want to be living and being?
Speaker 2:able to get enough I don't know stillness in your day to be able to ask yourself those questions and hear the answer. That's not an easy thing to do, but if anyone who's listening to this just thought, okay, am I, what are the questions that I need to ask myself to see if that's what I'm doing. So let's talk about the questions.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Here we go. Let's address the barriers. What holds people back from living authentically? What do you think the barriers are?
Speaker 1:Just off the top, I just think. Judgment of friends and family.
Speaker 2:Fear of judgment. Need for validation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Societal expectations.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Those are the things that holds us back. Okay.
Speaker 2:And it's that, you know, like the internal conflict of wanting to fit in versus wanting to be true to yourself, just like we were talking about being in different groups. And also, one thing we haven't talked about is how social media affects you know, your and the external pressures that can lead us to, like, filter ourselves and to be a certain way, or things that we're trying to live up to, which what you see on social media is rarely like the truth of someone's whole life, right, but we start to create these expectations and trying to live up to that.
Speaker 2:So there's a to-do list that's like whose to-do list? Is even that Okay? So here are the questions Am I showing up as my true self in my daily life? Ask yourself that question Are you showing up as your true self in your daily life? How often do I filter my thoughts to meet others' expectations? What parts of me feel most alive?
Speaker 1:And are you doing those things? Are you doing?
Speaker 2:those things. So those are the things that people need to ask themselves if they're able to show up authentically in their life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, you know, going to the, the groups with the transcendence that we went to, they talked about being able to feel comfortable and authentic in a room like that, where people are talking about consciousness and all that, and I was uncomfortable in that room. But I think, being authentic even outside of that room, like with friends and family, ways that I find myself doing, that is just being, you know, like we talked about, like the deeper conversations and the way that I conversate now.
Speaker 1:I think that's kind of more authentically who I am and that's how I'm bringing that.
Speaker 2:Well, that's where it goes back to like are you filtering your own thoughts to meet someone else's expectations? So if you're in a conversation and, instead of truly being present and listening, you're constantly thinking what is the answer that they want me to give, or what's the answer I can give so that I can be seen in a certain light, then is that really being truthful with yourself, or listening? You're not listening. You're actually just processing and trying to figure out how to manipulate the conversation.
Speaker 1:You're trying to be the fixer, not the listener last week. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I don't know. I think that those are great questions to ask. I think there was also a quote by Dr Gabor Mate about you know, there's two pains that you're going to have in your life and pain is unavoidable in your life and you can either have the pain of being yourself or the pain of not being yourself. You choose which one right, and I'd much rather have the pain of being myself than of having to alter who I am to make everybody else happy. That's an inward struggle. That's just I ain't got time for that. I ain't got time for that.
Speaker 1:Well, I got all kinds of time because I'm trying to fix that.
Speaker 2:Well, and we always like to give some tips and some steps for people to, you know, start to live authentically, and one of them is to tune in and that is just really reflecting on what makes you feel most like yourself. You know, I always like to think about, like using the body as kind of the antenna right and as the barometer of like, yes, this feels great. This is actually something I want to be doing, or I feel really lit up, like just happy, joyful, when I'm in this group of people or when I'm having these types of conversations. You know, those are the things to really tune into, notice let your body tell you if this is something that you enjoy or that you feel aligned with, whether it's work, a relationship, anything is just really start to listen to your body.
Speaker 1:What do you feel lost in sometimes, oh?
Speaker 2:yeah, what you could just lose time in and you're happy to do, or that you leave that interaction and you feel uplifted as opposed to completely like vacuumed out Right. That, I feel like, is a big sign that probably you're in a situation that is not aligned for you or you don't feel like you can be authentic is really noticing what your energy level is afterward is really noticing what your energy level is afterward.
Speaker 2:The other one is just letting go. It's that releasing the need for validation from others, so letting go of the need to be validated letting go of the need to control how people see you, especially when it's not aligned with who you are and what makes you happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that comes down to like self-conviction, like it's knowing who you are at the core.
Speaker 2:And you know, letting go is I'm not saying it's easy, no, right, you can do it with like small things right, little little, like little steps outward. You know, maybe dressing the way that you want to dress, or maybe being honest with your conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I started wearing like a handbag you know what I mean Like a purse, you did.
Speaker 2:You do have a purse now I feel like that's authentic to you.
Speaker 1:It is. You know what. I don't even care. You know what I mean. I am adopting. I was like it's so practical man. This is. Everybody says you forget everything or you got your pants are sagging. I've got a bazillion things in my pockets. Old guys wear cargo shorts because they ain't got a MERS.
Speaker 2:I feel like the MERS is the ultimate expression of authenticity.
Speaker 1:For me it is. You know what I mean? I'm just rocking it.
Speaker 2:Unless you're getting one just because everybody else has one, but you don't really like it. You don't have any things in there that you really need, but if you're like, you know what it actually, is much easier for me to have these things readily available and accessible.
Speaker 1:It is a thing because I have to ask myself is this appropriate time to wear this thing? But I just have to rock it like as if it's a wallet. You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean, that's what I do. Would you say that was a small shift or a big shift?
Speaker 1:I think that was pretty For me. That internally was a big hurdle, so it still is. It's a battle every day. You know what I mean. So it still is. It's a battle every day. You know what I mean. I'm sure still people haven't seen me with it. Yeah, because it's only been about a month, but yeah, it was another, just kind of living authentically. It was like you know, I'm going to do what's me. This makes me happy, it brings me joy.
Speaker 2:You know, and the tip for that is practicing self-compassion and affirmations to boost your self-worth. So with your MERS. You're like you know what. It's okay that you feel embarrassed, that you're carrying this, because this is practical for you and now you have easy access to the things that you need.
Speaker 1:It's got a carabiner on it. It's made by Carhartt, I think it's legit.
Speaker 2:And the affirmations are you are a strong man and you can still carry this. I am safe. Are you are a strong man, you can and you can still carry this.
Speaker 1:I am safe masculine. You are a safe masculine, the image I'm trying to project.
Speaker 2:That's you know. I mean, that's just expressing yourself in a way that feels genuine to you. It is Right, it made your life easier.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wear like crystals now and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what are you doing? Oh, my gosh, that is, I wear bracelets.
Speaker 1:People are like what?
Speaker 2:You do. You wear bracelets. Now Right, and they're like why are you wearing that obsidian? Why are you wearing that obsidian?
Speaker 2:on your wrist 1992 Noelle is not 2004, 24 Noelle. So sometimes, you know, the example that we can give for people to just start stepping you, that we can give for people to just start stepping, you know, slowly, into this world of authenticity of themselves is, you know, maybe just some wardrobe choices. You know, maybe maybe you do wear the cargo pants cause you're not ready for the Merce yet, I don't know. And then maybe, just speaking your truth in a conversation Like what would you, you know, if people was like, oh, what have you been doing lately? It's like I remember having a conversation with friends and we get together and be like, so what have you been up to? And it's like, oh, you know, my, my daughter's doing this and my son's doing this, and it's like just this, like the letter that talks about how everything is great.
Speaker 2:And you know, I remember one day and I was just like you know it's been hard, like I don't know, I have no idea what I'm doing, and actually this, this, and I, just I, I don't know, I have no idea what I'm doing, and actually this, this, and I, just I was like this is me, like I'm in a group of friends. Here's my opportunity to get some actual support from people I love. But how am I going to get it if I'm not?
Speaker 1:honest. You didn't want to give them the Christmas card report.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to give them the Christmas card report.
Speaker 1:So how did they receive that?
Speaker 2:They were like whoa, really Wow, like tell us about, and I thought, wow, that was, that went well you know I was just like. This is who I am.
Speaker 2:This is what's going on that may have been your first step out of authenticity it was, into authenticity it was like just saying, like you know what it's, it was, it's not great right now, like I'm struggling, but you know I'm making it through, and I actually ended up getting help or getting some, you know words of encouragement that I needed. But had I just played the Christmas card story, I'd have just sat there like uh-huh, I'm fine, I'm fine, everything's fine.
Speaker 1:Feelings I've not expressed.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go home now Drink a bottle of wine. So no, I think it's just taking small steps like that. I mean big ones are career decisions. You know, if you know that you are in a job that you hate, if you dread anything, I feel like dread is one of the big things that tell you you're not living authentically. And if you, you didn't come here to dread anything. So if you're in, you know, in that position of like damn, I got to get up and go to work. I can't stand these people, I can't stand this environment, you are not in alignment, you are not living authentically. You know, and I know that's a hard one to step out of, but maybe you start thinking about what does feel like is authentic to you. What if? But if you start thinking about what would make you happy to do.
Speaker 1:A lot of people you know start out a career and go to school for whatever you know being a nurse or being a doctor but then they shift. You don't have to do that forever. I think you know.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:We have family members who you know stepped into law, you know in their 50s, yeah, and successful careers right now. So I think you can change whatever you want to do at any time, yeah.
Speaker 2:I would say when I left flight nursing. That was scary.
Speaker 1:You know, and I thought yes, you are a perfect example.
Speaker 2:What is everybody going to think? People told me I was crazy. You know, what about your 401k, what about? And I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, that is scary. But I know that something else is more authentic to me. That lights me up that when you ask me about this other thing, which is, you know this, more holistic healing and really going into self-awareness that they'd asked me that and it was like boom, a light bulb would go off around my head and it was like that, that, that, that, that, and I could just speak so clearly about it. You know, you asked me about when I was a flight nurse, like, oh, tell me about this. And you know, this must be a great job. And I'm like it's okay, it's good. And I thought, oh my gosh. As soon as I heard that come out of my mouth, I thought, lena, it's time to switch, it's time to to move out of the way and let somebody be here who is so excited and lights up when they talk about it you know, and so that was the.
Speaker 2:that was the the moment for me that I thought, yeah, there's it's time to make a change, and it wasn't easy, but it was totally worth it. It was totally worth it. There's just such a freedom in living the way that you want to live and being who you want to be, unapologetically you know, show up. Show up for your life you know show up, show up for your life.
Speaker 1:Yep, all right, that's been another episode of let that shift go podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm noelle and I'm lena. Let us know what your questions are and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let that Shift Go, or visit our website, serenitycovetomeculacom.