Let That Shift Go
Welcome to "Let That Shift Go," a podcast hosted by siblings Lena and Noel. Join them on their journey of self-awareness as they delve into meaningful conversations about the human experience.
Lena and Noel have decided to break free from the confines of private discussions and bring their heartfelt, and at times, humorous conversations to the public. They believe that we are all going through the trials and tribulations of life, and it's comforting to know that we're not alone.
In each episode, Lena and Noel will explore various aspects of being human, sharing personal stories, insights, and lessons they've learned along the way. From navigating relationships to dealing with challenges, they'll offer a refreshing perspective on life's ups and downs.
Through candid and authentic conversations, "Let That Shift Go" aims to create a safe space for listeners to relate, reflect, and find solace in the shared human experience. Lena and Noel invite you to join them as they embrace change, growth, and let go of what no longer serves them.
Tune in and be part of a community that celebrates the beautiful messiness of being human. Get ready to let go, laugh, and discover that you're not alone on this journey. Welcome to "Let That Shift Go" podcast!
Let That Shift Go
What if Your Alone Season is Actually Your Becoming Season?
We explore the transformative difference between loneliness and solitude, revealing how embracing time alone can lead to self-discovery, personal growth, and healthier relationships.
• Examining society's negative perception of being alone and how it stems from primal survival instincts
• Distinguishing between loneliness (feeling incomplete without others) and solitude (finding strength in being with yourself)
• The benefits of learning to enjoy your own company and discovering what truly brings you joy
• How avoiding silence through constant distraction prevents necessary inner work
• Why relationships thrive when two whole people come together instead of seeking completion in each other
• Practical ways to shift from seeing alone time as punishment to viewing it as a sanctuary
• Breathwork exercise to help embrace solitude and affirm self-wholeness
Visit us on Instagram @LetThatShiftGo or at our website serenitycovetomecula.com with your questions for future episodes.
Hello and welcome to the Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noelle.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lina.
Speaker 1:And this is where we talk about the good, the bad and all the shift in between.
Speaker 2:We just talk mad shift, let's get into it.
Speaker 1:And on this week's episode, solitudeitude the sanctuary you didn't know you needed. But first let's get into these skin deep cards. This is from the amusing edition okay, you want to go first? I'll go first.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead what do you value more in the person, their intention or their action? Gosh that's tough, but usually actions is what.
Speaker 1:That's tough, but usually actions is what. The first thing that came to my mind is actions.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because people have good intentions, but Doesn't always land right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think sometimes what I try to do is consider, if something comes off kind of like I don't know it's not received, well, I try to look at, like, what is possibly the intention behind it, almost in order to, you know, try to give grace. But I don't know. I think I value, like you, I value more of the action rather than the intention.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause sometimes I feel people just use that as like a justification or but I did. And a lot of times when people justify their bypassing, emotionally bypassing, or justifying what they did, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so that's why the action seems to speak a little bit louder to me. Okay, Okay. My question is describe a time when you had the experience of realizing you no longer believed in something. Ooh.
Speaker 2:Boy. There's been quite a few times.
Speaker 1:I figured. That's why I was like, oh, this might be something that you can expand upon. Choose wisely.
Speaker 2:Expand upon, choose wisely. Um, when I no longer believed that I had to ascribe to a certain set of like rules about what my life should look like in order to feel successful or to be happy like redefining success kind of a.
Speaker 2:Thing redefining success. Yeah, that very much. Or that you have to have, you know, a certain amount in your bank account, you have to have, um, you know, 2.5 children, like all of these things. You have to go toa certain college and it's like yes, yes, okay, yes, and it yes, and it's like, well, at some point I accomplished a lot of those things and still there was like there's more, and so, you know, I no longer believe that that's all that success was, or wealth was.
Speaker 1:Was it a moment or was it a time? You were like screw this.
Speaker 2:I think it was like small things leading up to a moment, but they had been happening, you know, and then it was like a bigger realization at the time, yeah, and also for me, like there was some things about religion that were, you know, like Sure yeah the come to Jesus. Moment of like wow, I don't know that it's what I've been taught. Like I think that you know there's a lot more out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's kind of evolved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your spirituality is kind of evolved, I think visiting other countries and seeing how other people um worship um really opened my eyes to. You know. I think God meets you where you are, not just you know one way. So that was a big one for me, I like that.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about this solitude versus loneliness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. You know, what I love about this podcast is that we talk about mental health. We talk about real relationships and all the beautiful, messy conscious shifts that come with being human.
Speaker 1:And today we're diving into one of the most avoided but also one of the most liberating topics being alone yeah, we've kind of we tended to like vilify being alone and make it be scary.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and I think when, when we were talking about this I think it comes back to something really primal that we don't even we don't realize is that being a part of a group means it meant at some point it meant survival right.
Speaker 2:Like back when, you know, hunter gatherer days, if you were out on your own you probably wouldn't survive, it wouldn't be safe. And I think we've evolved, but we still have that, this maybe feeling that if we are, if we are alone, we're not. Okay, you know, and I mean there's something to that. But we're no longer hunter gatherers, you know. But I think there's still this primal instinct that we have to be with other people or we're not accepted, you know, and we're also making it mean something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're like taught to believe that we need another person to complete us, which means that's programming, that somehow we're not complete without another person, which keeps us perpetually looking for somebody else to fill that void.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think there's something to that, and it's not just about being single. We're talking about just being with yourself, and I think being with yourself is not the same thing as being lonely, but we have been taught to believe that it is, and there is something. There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely, and I don't think we've really been taught how to just be alone, just be with yourself, because when you're alone, man, you can hear all of your thoughts, thoughts. You can hear all of the things that you like, the, the feelings you have about yourself, the feelings that you have about what you're not doing, what you should be doing, maybe the pain that's there that you haven't really addressed.
Speaker 2:And when you're not distracted by another person, then it all is just right there in your face and there's a lot of things to deal with that can feel really scary, because I know, when, you know, there was a time Armando and I were separated and that for me that was the first time I'd ever actually been on my own. I mean, I went from, you know, I met him at 13. We had children by the time I was 17. So I went from being somebody's daughter to somebody's mother and then. So there was never a time that I had ever been alone, ever had to really think about myself. You know, there was always something going on and I still had children and all of that. But it was like, oh my gosh, I've never been alone. I don't know how to do it. Can I even do it?
Speaker 2:Like there was a feeling of like I don't even know if I can do it and it was very scary and I can see at that time, at a level of being unaware it's like I would. I just wanted to seek the company of someone, even if it was a friend who was. You know, I had a friend who was very negative at the time. And I was like I would rather just talk to her constantly than just be with myself, until I realized like actually this is not helping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's funny because sometimes we just trade it for anything. We need something to fill the space.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll even drink the toxic poison, rather than just feeling your own feelings. You know it's distraction, it's a form of distraction, but I don't know. I think somewhere along the way being alone, it just got equated with being broken, you know, like being the last one picked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if you've ever received that messaging, you're not alone.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Our culture glorifies hyperconnection, but silently shames solitude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it feels like if I'm alone, I'm not quite good enough, somehow, and it's not true. But trying to examine what are the underlying feelings in being alone If you go to a restaurant, it's almost like if you see somebody sitting alone, eating alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's almost a judgment, right, yeah, or you're like I wonder what's wrong?
Speaker 2:Are they okay? And now, from having been on the planet many years now, when I see someone alone and they're eating and they're not like on their phone eating at the same time, it's like wow, that's you know. Good for you. Well, cause we do that, you can take yourself out.
Speaker 1:I mean, even I do that. If I get into I think it's a common thing is to if you've come into a social situation where you don't know anybody, or you walk into a room of like 50 people and nobody's paying attention to you, I will grab my phone and pretend or just start scrolling on something, so that I don't feel alone.
Speaker 2:Do you think it's like if you grab your phone and you're on your phone, then it could be assumed that well, if you wanted to connect, you could, but right now you're busy.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, I mean that's definitely a way to look at it right, that's another perspective.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause if you can open up your phone and look at something, you you feel less alone. Maybe you're connecting online to something imaginary, but it's just. It's better than just feeling alone, because imagine it. The other thing is to imagine when you're, when you're talking to someone and they are maybe they're not in a relationship or they're in between or whatever and you hear people say things like you'll find someone. Your person is out there, as if the goal is always like someone else. So I don't think we ever hear how's your relationship with yourself, like how's that going, you know?
Speaker 1:The fear of being alone. It drives a lot of bad decisions, you know Settling for less, repeating toxic patterns, confusing chemistry with connection.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We'd rather be in chaos than quiet. That's the hard part, you know.
Speaker 2:It's true, and you know, referring back to the time that I was alone and on my own, I remember there was a moment, though, when, you know, after like dating and after spending my time trying to just constantly fill it with distraction or working or whatever, and there came a moment when I was like I actually like my own company, but it took a while.
Speaker 1:So it shifted from loneliness to solitude.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's the superpower is is being able to be in solitude. Solitude feels very sovereign. You know, it's like I can be with myself and I can enjoy my own company and I felt like for me that that time of separation between Armando and I, many, many years ago, I feel like that was the time I actually started to grow up.
Speaker 2:You know, I was an adult woman, but I had never actually Emotional kind of growth it was like a maturity and there was something that was built in me during that time of confidence and I no longer felt, I don't know, needy in some way or clingy. And what I found when I was finally in that state where I was like you know what I enjoy, Making myself a turkey sandwich, eating it with Takis or whatever and then just being like now I would like to go do this and now I would like to treat myself this way, that it it kind of shifted who I was, even in the company of other people. How so.
Speaker 2:Like there was just. I had this um, I don't know, like just a comfortability, like there was a peace, and so it was easier for me to actually, um, you know, communicate with people or to just be with them and be curious about them. I wasn't trying to fill a need in me that was lonely and just wanted to be something that they wanted me to be or say the thing that they wanted me to say. I was more like no, I'm actually comfortable with my own opinion, what is your opinion or what's going on with you? But it just kind of changed the way that I was in interaction and I found that it I think it would be more magnetic really to people, you know, because there was a quiet confidence of not needing constantly needing distraction or to be in relationship constantly or whatever. It's just it was a peaceful place to be. But it was a painful road getting there. I mean, there were times, you know, being on the floor in tears and like how do I do this? I don't even know how to do this.
Speaker 1:You know I'm afraid You've got to find that confidence.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've had some unexpressed pain that I've never addressed because I didn't have to, because if I felt uncomfortable or sad, I could just go do something else. I could go be in conversation with this person instead of just being with what was there. So I think there's something really.
Speaker 1:The importance of kind of going into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that there was. When you have no choice, then you realize there's work to do and there's an opportunity to grow. But I don't think that society really I don't know rewards that in some way or honors that as a pathway to peace. And you know, I think that's why we oftentimes settle for relationships that don't feel good or friendships that don't feel good.
Speaker 1:A lot of it's fear, though, you know of being alone, because a lot of us would stay in a relation, a toxic relationship, rather than be in a relationship where we feel complete or we feel happy. You know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause sometimes the the move between the toxic relationship is happy is a space of being alone, and that's terrifying, you know, especially if you've never been there. That's the complete unknown, so I don't know. I know, uh, recently, jay shetty. He said something about loneliness is the weakness of being alone, but solitude is the strength of being alone yeah, and I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's something that people often think about. I think we just think about what our instincts are and we act on that instead of you. You know, like you're not, you're not empty without someone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, loneliness says that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, solitude says.
Speaker 1:I'm complete and I choose to share from my overflow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I think that you know, like we, I love the word solitude, and it's solitude is an absence. It's not absence, it's actually presence. Yeah. You know, and what I'm talking about, like even you know, finding that peace within yourself. You find that you're actually present because you're not trying to chase something else, You're not trying to chase distraction, You're just actually with yourself.
Speaker 1:Let's be honest, sometimes we call it love, but actually it's just a distraction. Say it again Sometimes we call it what did you say Love? Sometimes we call it love, but it actually is just a distraction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's, there's a difference, and sometimes it's love. I mean I, I'm in love, but you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we choose to distract ourselves with things.
Speaker 2:He's a great distraction sometimes.
Speaker 1:Attraction to the distraction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah, I think I think many of us are just trying to avoid what comes up in the silence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not about connection, it's about avoiding what comes up in the silence.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely. So I don't know. There's a lot we've talked about before, you know, with like trauma bonding. We've talked about codependency, um, and ultimately just staying in situations because being alone feels like it's too much. So, you know, we're not choosing love, we're just choosing familiar pain, and I think it's just because somehow it's just scary. You know it's less scary than unfamiliar peace. You know it's like going into that unknown, but that's where the growth is, you know, and there's this opportunity Lean into the hard stuff unknown.
Speaker 2:but that's where you're, where the growth is, you know, and there's this opportunity Lean into the hard stuff, but we you know.
Speaker 1:That's why sitting silent. I always have to have music playing in the background, because then those thoughts start going, but actually try not hitting Spotify or not. You know what I mean. Just sit with that.
Speaker 2:I haven't gotten to that point yet. I still have to have music on all the time.
Speaker 1:I do. I mean, I certainly do. I love music. Music is a great, you know, neutralizer, I think sometimes. But sometimes it can throw you in the opposite direction, if it's a love song that brings something up or whatever.
Speaker 1:But sitting in that silence for me has been the change in the movement into that growth and and when I, if I've ever been to the place where I feel lonely in something, it's. It's trying to define the strength and the loneliness which, which jay shetty said, is the it's. That's what solitude is, that's the strength of you know, solitude is a strength do you think when you think of being alone?
Speaker 2:um, and I I well, okay, not lonely, but when you think of being alone, what does that bring up in you?
Speaker 1:um, you know it's afraid of. There's a lot of things it's afraid of. Um, um, not having a person Does that make sense. You know that person, Yep.
Speaker 2:Do you think that's because you know of the way that we like what we were talking about, how everyone handles like well, you'll find someone?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I think it is. I think it's a part of me having to face growth, because, you know, having that person also leads or or identifies, that I have a weakness right Like it's like something's wrong with you. Yeah Well it goes to that thing of like saying oh, you need somebody to complete you and I still somehow have that programming, that, oh, having that person. But I'm slowly learning how to make myself the person, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think that's what the solitude speaks to is um, and I think you know if you're in a relationship or not in a relationship. I think solitude is important.
Speaker 2:That's so true.
Speaker 1:Because even in a relationship especially I think, especially because you, you know, if you, if you wait to find out or figure out what solitude is, you know once you're getting a divorce, I think it's a little hard, but if you, if you can find that and give grace to step into. But it's just different.
Speaker 2:And not thinking that you know, I don't know. Oftentimes I think about when you're little and you think well, if the friends on the playground don't pick me, if I'm alone, somehow that means that something's wrong with me. And then oftentimes we just alter ourselves in order to be included. And I think there comes a point in our lives where we don't want to alter ourselves to be included. We want to be authentic to who we are, but how do you even know who that is?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or what you want, when you're not constantly trying to. You know, I don't know. Sometimes I think in relationships it's two people not wanting to be distracted either.
Speaker 1:What do you mean by that?
Speaker 2:Like what if you know, both people in the relationship are in the relationship because neither of them wants to be alone, and so it's like this way of being mutually distracted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what that earlier was. Sometimes love is a distraction because unless if you have like that surface love, I guess I don't know. I don't want to talk down on it because some people have a beautiful thing there, but if you can go a little bit deeper, what's there?
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's whether one of the things I like about this topic is I think it's something all of us one of the things I like about this topic is I think it's something all of us maybe not all of us, but most of us have had to face is that at some point?
Speaker 2:at some point it's like how, or or even right now, if any, if you're listening, it's like how, when you say someone, if you think about being alone, or you see someone alone, what kind of assumptions do you make? Or how does it make you feel to think about being alone, like not having anyone there to distract you? Are you comfortable in your own silence? Are you comfortable just being with yourself, or does it feel like something is wrong, like this is just a waiting period until you do find something or someone to you know cling on to, so that you no longer have to feel that and and that distraction is something that's necessary? You know, I think those are questions to ask.
Speaker 2:There weren't questions I was ever asking myself before, um, even before, you know, we had separated and I was on my own. I think there was fear of like, oh my gosh, I can feel this relationship is dissolving and this is going to be very scary, but it wasn't a question I'd ever asked myself and I never thought about. Why did I think of being alone as being something being wrong or wrong with me?
Speaker 1:Well, society kind of tells us that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1:What, what, what did you do? What did you feel like you did different? When you made the shift between loneliness to solidarity, you said you noticed some difference. Look, what, what, how did you feel like you moved different?
Speaker 2:Well, I started to notice that when I would spend time with people, um, whether in friendships or dating, that I really didn't enjoy it. You know sometimes, most times, or that I was being something I really wasn't in order to maintain the connection. And then, once you do that enough, you sort of you start to feel and you know, recognize that it's not good. You know what I mean. It's not nourishing, I'm not growing, I'm sort of just staying stagnant.
Speaker 1:So it was like a keeping busy kind of a thing. Keeping busy yeah.
Speaker 2:And so at some point it's like this isn't, I don't really prefer this. And then it became okay to say no to doing, you know, to going out or doing those things, because it was like I actually am enjoying myself more just being with myself.
Speaker 1:And doing. But what doing? What Like? What's what is being being with yourself? What did that look like for you?
Speaker 2:Sometimes just being still being able to watch a movie by myself, being able to, you know, go shopping and not worry about any, anything or anyone about how long was I out.
Speaker 1:Or having. Do you?
Speaker 2:you doing it by yourself doing it by myself and being okay with it.
Speaker 1:going to a movie by myself, like that was sort of like even going shopping or going to a movie, like you would invite somebody, you would just could do it by yourself, because doing it by yourself was the way that you kind of learned more about yourself. What, what was that for you? How did it progress?
Speaker 2:I think I quit trying so hard to distract and instead just let myself be still.
Speaker 1:And find things that bring you joy and do those things.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, yep, exactly. And the more I did that and I found that I was okay. Then it started to write a new story.
Speaker 1:Then it started to write a new story. Do you think it's because when you weren't asking other people to do stuff and you were just doing what you wanted to do, you're more likely to find your? Joy yeah.
Speaker 1:Because when I call friends it's like, hey, what do you want to do? I don't know you want to go to here and I kind of leave it up. You know, you just try to go with the. That's kind of usually how I go. So I don't always do what I want to do when I bring somebody else. But when I'm listening to you and I was listening to you kind of describe your process I was thinking, wow, that is. There is something different about going out to a movie by yourself or going out to do something, some kind of a treating yourself
Speaker 2:treating yourself to something, but by yourself even if it was just to the spa. Yeah, and the other thing I found, too, was that when I started to do things I really enjoyed because I enjoyed doing them. I would then start to meet people who had very similar interests and that I had things in common with and that I actually enjoyed being around, but it wasn't because I was trying to look for a distraction so that I could just be with someone.
Speaker 1:Or trying to fit in somewhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, trying to fit in somewhere. So it was more of a process of realizing that I didn't want to bend myself just to be in relationship and instead just figure out what are the things I really enjoyed doing and being able to just you know, just be. And then I did end up, you know, finding and meeting friends and people that I actually really enjoyed being with. So it was, but it wasn't for the purpose of, like, I don't want to be alone.
Speaker 1:It sounds like, as I'm listening to your arc, it's almost like you didn't really know who you were. You were, you were hanging out with friends and doing things that were consistent with your previous life, and as soon as you slowed down and sat still for a little bit and then started to do things on your own 100% on your own then you started to find things that you liked, that were more in alignment with what you wanted and weren't influenced by outside people or allowing other people to kind of choose the path a little bit.
Speaker 2:Does that make sense? I stopped bending myself to do things I didn't really care to do and started doing things I really enjoyed and being okay doing it by myself or not, and then meeting people who are also doing those things. I mean like hey. And then meeting people who are also doing those things. I mean like hey, we have things in common, you know, and it does. It does especially with people, I believe, with people who are single. If you're in a place where you're actually really comfortable with yourself and you don't need anything from anyone, you know there's something about the presence of that type of person that's very engaging and and it feels very safe to be around someone like that, because they don't feel like a vacuum you know, like they're.
Speaker 2:they're, they're good with who they are, and oftentimes that allows you the space to be who you are.
Speaker 1:Well, and sometimes that can be, I would say, um, that could, would. That's from a person who's trying to be calm and trying to find themselves. If there's in relationship, if you have the other person who's constantly trying to find something from you or trying to fit, that that's it's the opposite of what you were saying, which that's like attractive to be.
Speaker 1:You know, self, secure and all that, but it's unattractive to be anxious and attack and like yes or avoidant or one of any of those things Like if you're just too much like if you're trying to fill a void in you through someone else.
Speaker 2:That someone else if they have any level of self-awareness.
Speaker 2:If they're secure they're going to be like. No, it's great to have two secure people be in relationship, because there's actually growth for both people. But if you're kind of anxiously attached and you're looking for distraction constantly or you're avoiding all of your own inner work by being in relationship with someone else, that is a vacuum and eventually that relationship will probably start to crumble. So you know, for like Armando and I, when we separated we had to go figure out who we were as individuals and once I feel like when I was able to just be comfortable being myself and he also was outside of the relationship with me and kind of found more out about himself, what he enjoyed, how he was as an individual, when we came back together it was much more of like two whole people coming back together so that our relationship would grow Growing together.
Speaker 1:yeah.
Speaker 2:And grow together and there was room for both of us and also we realized we are responsible for our own happiness. Like that other person is not responsible for your happiness, and I think that's where a lot of trouble can happen in a relationship.
Speaker 2:It's like why aren't you making me happy? It's like, no, no, no, no. That's not the person. The other person's job, and if there's something that is unhappy or unresolved in you, that is your work to go find out what that is. The other person can support you in it. But if you're constantly looking to distract yourself from facing those things, then there's always going to be a vacuum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they can be your life ring, but they can't be your life raft. They can't. They can be your life. What is it Life?
Speaker 2:raft, but not your lifeline. Can't be your life raft. They can be your life. What is it? Life raft, but not your lifeline.
Speaker 1:Lifeline, but not life raft.
Speaker 2:Lifeline? Yeah, one of those. It's just wanting to be a whole person. In order to figure out who you are and what are the things you need to work on, you probably need to spend some time alone, just allowing the thoughts to be there and see what they are and listen and not constantly distract, whether through relationship or other things. Getting to that point is true sovereignty. So I think the reason we're doing this podcast is really trying to reframe loneliness versus solitude or being alone versus loneliness, like just because you're alone doesn't mean you're lonely. I think there's a distinction there. So really coming to a place where you're you know, kind of redefining what being alone means that it can be solitude. It doesn't have to equal loneliness and if it does, there may be work there. There may be something to look at. Maybe some you know work to do, some inner work to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when you stop trying to avoid your own presence, you start seeing your own power. Yeah. You clarify and sharpen things. You know, yeah, your peace becomes non-negotiable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 2:What do you think about doing a little breath work session? Sure, yeah, that one of your 10, 20, 30s, and it's just like maybe it's just coming into the power of your own presence somehow. Okay, so let's do it. So, if you're driving, obviously you're not going to be doing this, but maybe you can just, you know, hit pause here and do this when you get to a place where it's safe to close your eyes and sit still. Pause here and do this when you get to a place where it's safe to close your eyes and sit still. But if you can, if you're able to do this breathwork session with us, just find a peaceful spot where you can sit comfortably or lay down and just gently close your eyes and remember this breath is circular, connected, deep, filling up the belly and the chest all the way to the shoulders and a full release with every exhale. And right now, just connect to your breath, just close your eyes and connect to your breath, feel your breath coming in and out, feeling the seat beneath you. And let's do it.
Speaker 1:All right. So we're going to do 10, 20, 30,. 10 breaths in and out of the mouth, deep, full breaths, belly, chest, head, holding at neutral with the breath out at 10 for 10 seconds, and I'll coach you through the rest. We're going to do 20 and then 30. So let's go First 10 breaths in and out of the mouth, deep, full breaths, inhale, self-trust, exhale, self-abandonment. Keep going, almost there, full, deep breaths, straight spine, relaxing the shoulders, relaxing the jaw. And the last one we're going to hold holding, holding for 10 seconds, almost there, three more seconds. And now we're going to go for 20 full breaths in and out of the mouth, relaxing the jaw, all the effort on the inhale, breathe into the space you've been filling with noise, keep going, we're going to 20 here.
Speaker 1:That's it. We're almost there. Five more breaths. What if you could go a little bit deeper? We're almost there, deep, full breaths. And at the end we're going to hold, holding for 20 seconds. Here You're doing so well, you're stronger than you think. Let the silence be a sanctuary, not a sentence. Here we go. We're going to go for 30 breaths In and out of the mouth, full, big, deep breaths. This is breath work. People, let's go as deep and as full as we can. Still, right there, we're at that halfway mark, inhaling the self-trust, exhale, self-abandonment. We're climbing to the top. We're almost there. Breathe into that space and at the bottom of this 30th breath, we're going to hold with the breath all the way out at neutral, holding, trusting your breath. Aloneness isn't the emptiness, it's a sacred space. Holding, holding as long as you can and when you feel called to, you're going to take your breaths in and out of the nose. We're almost there. Feel the strength in your solitude.
Speaker 2:And repeat silently to yourself as you sit in this stillness, feeling connected to the energy in your body, your wisdom I am not missing, I am not broken, I am whole and I belong to myself. And if you're listening right now and feeling this in your soul, I want you to ask yourself a few questions. When was the last time I truly sat with myself, without distractions, without judgment? What do I fear might come up in the silence? What would it look like to romanticize my solitude? And what part of me still believes I'm incomplete without someone else? What if this alone season is actually your becoming season?
Speaker 1:All right, that's been another episode of Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lena. Let us know what your questions are and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let that Shift Go, or visit our website, serenitycovetomeculacom.