Let That Shift Go
Welcome to "Let That Shift Go," a podcast hosted by siblings Lena and Noel. Join them on their journey of self-awareness as they delve into meaningful conversations about the human experience.
Lena and Noel have decided to break free from the confines of private discussions and bring their heartfelt, and at times, humorous conversations to the public. They believe that we are all going through the trials and tribulations of life, and it's comforting to know that we're not alone.
In each episode, Lena and Noel will explore various aspects of being human, sharing personal stories, insights, and lessons they've learned along the way. From navigating relationships to dealing with challenges, they'll offer a refreshing perspective on life's ups and downs.
Through candid and authentic conversations, "Let That Shift Go" aims to create a safe space for listeners to relate, reflect, and find solace in the shared human experience. Lena and Noel invite you to join them as they embrace change, growth, and let go of what no longer serves them.
Tune in and be part of a community that celebrates the beautiful messiness of being human. Get ready to let go, laugh, and discover that you're not alone on this journey. Welcome to "Let That Shift Go" podcast!
Let That Shift Go
Radical Forgiveness: Breaking Chains of Resentment
Forgiveness is often misunderstood as condoning hurtful actions or pretending they never happened—radical forgiveness is something entirely different. We dive deep into what true forgiveness actually means: a profound act of self-liberation that allows us to release the weight of resentment without excusing harmful behavior.
"You don't give forgiveness because they deserve it. You give forgiveness because you deserve to not carry it anymore." This powerful truth sits at the heart of our conversation. When we hold onto anger, resentment, or pain, we're the ones drinking poison while hoping someone else feels the effects. These emotions consume enormous energy, leaving little room for joy or peace in our lives.
The journey begins with self-forgiveness—a crucial first step that many overlook. Noelshares his personal story of learning to extend compassion to himself before he could genuinely forgive those who had hurt him. By understanding his own patterns and connecting dots between past experiences and current behaviors, he created space for healing at the deepest level. This process involved recognizing that the question isn't "what's wrong with me?" but rather "what happened to me?"
Perhaps the most transformative moment came when Noel began to see his abusive stepfather as a complete human being, not just a monster. This perspective shift didn't excuse harmful behavior but allowed him to process his emotions more completely and release the stranglehold of resentment. We explore practical tools for your own forgiveness practice: somatic awareness, expressive writing, no-send letters, and a guided breathwork experience to help move stagnant emotional energy from your body.
Remember, forgiveness can be a spiral—you may revisit the same wounds, but with more softness each time. This episode offers both the compassionate understanding and practical guidance to begin your own radical forgiveness journey.
Hello and welcome to the Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noelle.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lina.
Speaker 1:And this is where we talk about the good, the bad and all the shift in between.
Speaker 2:We just talk mad shift.
Speaker 1:Let's get into it and on this week's episode, letting go of the story, not the lesson.
Speaker 2:Radical forgiveness, because last week we talked about radical honesty.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So we told the truth right, and now we're sitting in it So-.
Speaker 1:Now, what do we do with this shit?
Speaker 2:What the hell do we do with this?
Speaker 1:But first let's get into these skin deep cards. Okay, and you want to go first, or me? Sure, I'll go first. Go ahead, what do you? Into these skin deep cards?
Speaker 2:okay, and you want to go first, or me, sure, I'll go first. Good, what do you feel is the difference between fixing and healing?
Speaker 1:oh, that's a really good question especially to a fixer um, gosh, you know, I think it maybe comes down to like the source thing. You know, like fixing things comes that you're like, you're constantly just kind of staying in the loop of repairing surface level things.
Speaker 1:But I think, once you kind of go ah, I can only replace the same sensor so many times before I go what is causing the sensor to go bad? And then step back a little bit and then I think, when you can do that, that's when I think you're doing healing, because I think that's a part of growth. Going to the root.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Root cause. I think you can get to some of that growth yeah. If you can get to that root cause.
Speaker 2:I like that. That's perfect, especially coming from a pool guy. Yes, having to fix sensors, but of course, my expertise All right.
Speaker 1:So my question is what do you hope for? No, what do you hope your love feels like?
Speaker 2:Oh wow, that's a cool question. I hope my love feels like expansiveness, like it's a safe place to open up, it's without limits, it's without judgment, like it's just this vast open place for someone to be themselves and to feel safe.
Speaker 1:Sounds like. Is a tray you there in the NeverEnding Story?
Speaker 2:The beginning of my trauma, the NeverEnding Story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I watched a meme or something. It's Falkor.
Speaker 2:It's Falkor the dog, the flying dog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, where they're talking about how, like you know our generation, we had so much literary trauma. How, like you know our generation, we had so much literary trauma like our, we our trauma. We were reading like our best friend had to get shot in the face because it had rabies.
Speaker 5:Oh, old yeller.
Speaker 1:That was our, that was our childhood books. But what are they reading now? Oh, you're not allowed to read anything like that I'm saying. So we, we were introduced trauma in our literature even.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Well, most fairy tales and all of it.
Speaker 1:So yeah, oh cool, I love your answer to that.
Speaker 2:Thank you, that's a great question.
Speaker 1:All right, so let's get into this.
Speaker 2:Radical forgiveness.
Speaker 1:Radical forgiveness. What is that to you? Well, I can tell you what it's not first of all, is it easier to say what it's not?
Speaker 2:Well, I think when we hear the words radical forgiveness, it's almost like you are condoning something, you're forgetting about something, you're saying it was okay and it's none of those things. It's not condoning, it's not forgetting, it's not saying that whatever it is that is needing to be forgiven was okay that it happened.
Speaker 1:It's not toxic positivity.
Speaker 2:No, but it really is saying is I'm ready to stop carrying it.
Speaker 1:Ready to release it on a soul level.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because sometimes it feels like you're carrying like a ton of bricks, you know, and sometimes it can be really hard to let go of that pain. But it's choosing your freedom over that familiar pain.
Speaker 1:Why do we do that? Why do you think we sit in that pain, sometimes over choosing to get out of it?
Speaker 2:Well, I know for me personally, from what I've experienced with things that were hard to forgive, is I didn't want the other person to think that it was okay, and so maybe I felt this need to be able to hold the story so that you would know there was judgment, you would know that it wasn't okay To keep that volume level up turned up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and a lot of that is ego right, but in realizing that forgiveness, in really defining what forgiveness was, that's not what it means. It doesn't mean you're saying that you're okay with whatever it is that happened, but really looking at, what does a lack of forgiveness cost you right, mentally, emotionally, physically.
Speaker 1:Like that old saying about you know, that's just like hating somebody is just like hoping they die of poison or something.
Speaker 2:Or, like you know yeah, you're drinking the poison hoping the other person will die from it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go which is not, it's not going to happen, Um, but it's hard to even hear that when you're you know you are holding rage, or you're holding anger or resentment, um, it feels, you know, like if you let that go, what does that mean? Does that mean that everyone around you will think that you're okay with it? Or that the person who did this will then suddenly feel like, oh, they're a reprieve. You know they have a reprieve from it, and not wanting to give that to someone else because of the definition of what you think forgiveness is, you know, can cause us to just hold onto it for years, lifetimes, generations. So it's not about letting someone else off the hook, it's about taking yourself off of the hook.
Speaker 2:You know and it, it feels hard, it feels really hard to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean letting. You may not always have the other person you know available to forgive or let off the hook. You know that's right Right. Having that physical contact is not always a necessity necessary.
Speaker 2:It's not. It's not the main component, right? Because if you think about whether it's hatred or resentment, anger, you know all of those emotions take a lot of energy, like just physically, emotionally, they use a lot of your energy.
Speaker 1:You get stuck in that loop.
Speaker 2:And so it doesn't leave you a lot to enjoy things or to be able to, you know, feel other things, because this, this like file cabinet of you know, of resentment or pain, is taking up space, so it doesn't leave you a lot of space to be able to feel other things, like joy or love or peace. But the thing is, the ego thrives on being right or being wronged, you know, so it is, I don't know, forgiveness in some way. It requires just, you know, grieving, the fantasy of what could have been, what someone should have been, what they should have done, what should have happened, and we have to be able to let go of that in order to get to forgiveness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the uphill battle, that's the shift.
Speaker 2:Thinking that it could have been different.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I could have done something different.
Speaker 2:Or they should have done something different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, certainly.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The codependency me spoke out first. I could have done something different. I could have done something different.
Speaker 2:I could have done something different. Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean just in these situations of forgiveness, you know.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that radical forgiveness is going to. It's going to start with the self, Like are you even able to forgive yourself for things? Can you forgive yourself for? Like, putting your thinking that you would put yourself in a situation?
Speaker 1:Well, I think you know sometimes that it's so difficult to find compassion for myself. Until I started, you know, practicing this self-love stuff it was. It became very difficult to do it.
Speaker 5:To forgive yourself.
Speaker 2:Like for example I don't know.
Speaker 1:I just it felt like once I started to do the self-love, it felt easier, like, oh you know what, like I'm worth it. I don't know it was. It was. It was recognizing how much, you know, I seen my worth in the things that I do for other people. And so when I did the self-love I don't know, it just gave me a different perspective.
Speaker 2:So was it? What? Was it?
Speaker 1:A lack of compassion for yourself, or yeah, I think I think once I started to realize that I felt like I started to feel sorry for myself, then I was able to like, like forgive myself. Does that make sense? And I think that that plays a role in like how I've found forgiveness and other people in my life some of the monsters or the ghosts found compassion for them. Man, it made it easier to really find like forgiveness on a soul level, If that makes sense.
Speaker 2:For them.
Speaker 1:For them.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:But I'm just tying it into for me, when I found compassion for myself or when I started to feel because I never really liked to feel sorry for myself, because I found like that was like a weakness kind of a thing, so I didn't let myself sit there, but when I did, you know, yeah it helped.
Speaker 1:It was like, oh, you know what that wasn't right. Why did I? Why was that OK to do to me? You know kind of a thing. And then it was I can. I can, you know, start to forgive myself because a lot of the times, not to use it as an excuse or a justification, but it would be a response to something or I felt wronged or I would react, or you know, I have difficulties with people criticizing me. So instead of taking the criticism but you, you know, and so like that kind of a thing it would be, you know, I wasn't okay doing that.
Speaker 2:So what I'm imagining is that when you're talking about forgiving yourself, were you looking at like ways in the past that you had behaved in ways that you weren't proud of?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Is that what you're referring to, like being angry or, or, you know, acting out at someone or whatever?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was finding, like it was actually, you know, connecting the dots of why or how, why was I that way? How did I become that way, recognizing the patterns?
Speaker 1:And then, once I started to see that it was like, ah, okay, now I can have compassion for that, like there's for that part of that part of myself, because there's there's a reason to it, like and I don't think you necessarily need a reason to it, but when you've been blessed with the dots aligned and you're like, oh man, I see that Either from a family member who models that like the exact pattern, or something that just happens to me.
Speaker 2:So really being able to do some self-reflection on why did I behave that way, why did I act out that way, and being able to really trace it back to like oh, you know it's not the sensor.
Speaker 1:Go back to the source. Yeah yeah, you got to go back further.
Speaker 2:And so when you were, and having been on this journey with you, and now thinking about, like, having reacted in anger and having getting to the place where you could forgive yourself for ways that you reacted or acted out, you know like, when you look back, you wish you could have done it differently, right, yeah, but it's already happened. So getting to the level of being able to able to forgive yourself was really about it sounds like tracing back the reason for the behavior, right, like going to the root.
Speaker 1:And I think the reason why that's important is because it gave me compassion for myself.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay.
Speaker 1:That's why it's so important, Because then it was almost like watching a movie of the little boy Noel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and going.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that's so fucked up.
Speaker 2:How could he have done it any differently? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Like, what could he do? Yeah, and so when I was able to step away, in that sense it gave me such a different perspective.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 2:That I could go.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know, like it's not my fault kind of a thing. Does that make sense? It's not what's wrong with you.
Speaker 2:It's what happened to you.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Asking that Not what's wrong with you. Why are you?
Speaker 1:like this, oprah Winfrey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's what happened to you. What happened to make this the initial reaction or the default? So when you were able to kind of trace that back and see this little boy inside of you and how he was treated, how he didn't feel safe, didn't even know how to manage emotions or what that would even look like and grow up to be the you are, and having been in situations where now, looking back, you wish you would have reacted differently, what the next step was, after you've been able to forgive yourself for that behavior, is really being able to look at the people who put you in that situation right.
Speaker 2:Parents, step parents, culture, whatever and what does that look like? Because that's what I'm looking at with. Radical forgiveness is one step. One is starting with yourself, forgiving yourself.
Speaker 1:I think the link between you know. Finding compassion for myself makes it easy because it's not the obvious person to forgive, I think makes it easy because it's not the obvious person to forgive, I think.
Speaker 1:In some ways, so I you know forgiving the person that you found you know responsible for whatever the trauma that you have. I don't know, it's really difficult to forgive somebody for these things. But once I started to humanize them and then maybe look back on their what must have their childhood looked like Because I did that with mine and then I started to find compassion, because then I remember my grandparents and then you go oh man, he was a son of a bitch you know like. So that must have been bad too, right? So I don't know, it took stepping back a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like zooming out.
Speaker 1:And the link between doing that with myself and then going oh, you know how do I do that with say, like you know, my stepdad. You know how do I do that with say, like you know, my stepdad. You know I had lots of trauma with him and it was really difficult because all I have is visions of him hurting me and my mom and later on in life it's like I do feel. I know, I feel deep down on the soul level like I've forgiven him, and that wasn't until A. I forgave myself first.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it starts with you it had to start with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I didn't even know what forgiveness was, just like I didn't know what love was. So how can I love somebody until I love me? The same kind of logic, if you will, kind of applied.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, what did that feel like? Like to go from, you know, that initial part of finding compassion for yourself and finding forgiveness for yourself, maybe how that pattern repeated in your own family, and being able to, you know, go back and really understand your own behavior and why that was and forgive yourself for that behavior, right, and make changes. And then starting to trace back to the root of like okay, this person is the person who modeled that behavior for me of anger and abuse, and then moving to a place of being able to forgive them, like, what was that like for you?
Speaker 1:Well it's, it's first starts with anger, because then you, you, I put the blame on that person for making me who I am. And then you know, the self-awareness thing has a silly way of saying you know, plot twist, you're not a victim.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so not that I wasn't a victim of some sort as a kid, right, but in a lot of ways, growing up, I'm an adult now, so I can choose to hold onto those things or I can choose to move forward and I think, realizing the mistakes that I made as a dad, not knowing what was right or wrong, and having the examples of parents that I did when I was growing up and then being, you know, now almost 50 years old, I can look at my parents and I really look back to my man.
Speaker 1:They were 30 when they were doing those things, or they were 25 or whatever it is, and when I was that age, I was making really bad mistakes too, and that's what it was like. Oh, it was really just land patterns over each other that I was like. I do see, at least now it was much easier that this person you know my stepdad's a much better person now and a lot of people could say, oh well, he's just old now and you know, he, he, he doesn't feel as imposing, I mean really he's still the same size as he always was.
Speaker 1:I've gotten bigger but I think he's grown to be one. He's not an alcoholic anymore, so that helps a ton. But I think getting older just like I did I became softer. I became just a little bit more, have more grace to me and I see that in him and it makes it easier to forgive in that sense too.
Speaker 2:So there's empathy there of being able to say when you're saying, you're looking back and you're like, well, he was 20, 30, what was I doing that I've now had to do, and he was such a hard man Right and I feel like in some ways I would.
Speaker 1:I would hope that I'm better than him, and I know that I am and I was better than him, but at least I'm moving forward and becoming a better version of that, you know, and I'm stopping the cycle of generational trauma, deciding to be the difference.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, I think I watched you, you know, kind of walk this path and it's just been really interesting because, absolutely, it started with having compassion for yourself, which I think is the is really hard to do, I don't know. I think sometimes we-.
Speaker 1:First you have to admit you did something wrong.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you, with this, it's different. It's like there's anger but there's just enormous guilt. So being able to process guilt and get to a place where you can have compassion for yourself and give yourself forgiveness is like again, it's not saying that what you did was okay, it's just saying you know, on some level, when we're practicing self-forgiveness is like I understand and I'm I'm changing things and I can forgive myself for who I was at that time, but I'm not continuing to repeat that behavior. But then now, when you're looking even at stepdad, I watched you then look at him with empathy and then start to ask questions about well, what was his upbringing like? Like I think it was there cognitively, but I don't think that you had been able to look at it at such a deep level until you were on your own healing journey.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, my therapist asked me a very important question that I had never asked myself, and she said Noelle, tell me a few things that you liked about him, about your stepdad, and I can honestly tell you I have never, ever, ever thought about what I liked about him, because I have always not. It just he was. I was always afraid of him.
Speaker 1:He just was not a good person in my life, and so then I started to think back wow, you know what he actually was like a really good provider, like he always had a good job. He always there was food on the table, we had a great place to live. Even when we're in transition, he made sure we had transferred to all the things right. Some may say that they're supposed to do that, but he did those things. He was really athletic and I loved going to his basketball games and watching and he was good at those sports and I was into that, you know. So I liked that about him. I liked he was into fast cars and fixed up his cars and I'd like to watch him work on his cars in the weekend. So there's a lot of things that just brought things that was like wow, you know what? There were some things that he actually wasn't, just just he wasn't only a monster, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I never really thought about that in that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think most of us, you know, even when we have things to forgive for ourselves. None of us are total monsters. But you know, as a child you didn't even have the space or safety to consider that Sometimes that's all you can see is the monster. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because your fear takes over. And you know, even at 50 years old I'm almost 50, and so, like he was still the monster until recently. Until recently.
Speaker 2:How did that? Even you know, having someone pose that question to you, how did that shift your perception or your perspective or the way you viewed your own experience Like cause, even when you were saying it, I could feel like this sort of shift, like it was you know not so much that you were down this dark tunnel, it was like huh, that you were down this dark tunnel.
Speaker 1:It was like huh, you know I realized that in some crazy way that I love that man. You know he really does take good care of my sister and, you know, my nieces and nephews and that kind of thing, and in a lot of ways he still takes care of my mom. So there's something weird about that. I guess it's the little boy that always needs the approval, kind of a thing. Um, but in some ways I do remember when I think what that question did was just made me put it, make him a human being.
Speaker 1:Make him a human being, and I can and I had to ask myself were there times when I was, even when I was a little kid, that I love that guy and I could say, yeah, there was, there was there was great, there was a good times there, it wasn't all bad, but there was just extremely bad situations.
Speaker 2:So when it, when it came down to that, yeah, was it able to just kind of shift the weight?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, and, and actually gave me another level of clarity for myself and more forgiveness for myself. Ah, okay, does that make sense, because on some ways I still hold on to shame just for the things that I've done and then I go, man, if I can forgive this guy for what he's done to me.
Speaker 2:I can forgive myself. I can forgive myself. You know what I mean? I don't know. I think that's the breakthrough, one of the big breakthroughs it could be. Yeah, I do. I mean. It doesn't mean, you know, forgiving him or forgiving anyone. It doesn't mean like yeah, yeah, we're good now. I mean, on some level you are good now.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I feel like it, but it's not condoning the behavior. Yeah, I've never really had like the talk with him where we have this like come to Jesus meeting, but recently he's had some like medical conditions and that even that made me really think like wow, like how much I appreciate him and I want to talk to him and tell him all those things you know. Um, mortality is the thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everything's temporary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so uh, it just really puts things into perspective. You know, life is too short.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like that forgiveness you know for yourself and then for the person who hurt you like? Did that kind of cause some internal release of that energy that you may be holding?
Speaker 1:I'm sure it did. I mean definitely was a lightness. You know that happened, but I still haven't even integrated all that's kind of that. It is Cause it's it's it's actually even still, you know, evolving. I mean, I'm just now getting used to him. Sometimes he's the first person who says happy birthday to me yeah, you know what I mean and he's all the way in the Philippines or something. So it's like a developing kind of thing, just getting used to like, wow, we're going to have a different kind of relationship now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. Yeah, I love how you said all suddenly, you know you just saw him as a human being. Yeah, I love how you said all suddenly, you just saw him as a human being?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that's really. I could honestly tell you I did not see him as a human being. When you see such hurtful things, sometimes you just think that person's not. He doesn't have humanity to him and I was a kid and there's a lot of things that happen and alcohol and all those things and um. But he's definitely a better person now than he was then, which also makes it easier you know if he was still you know, yeah, yeah pile of crap now that it would be, you know, much harder.
Speaker 1:I could still find forgiveness to let go of things for myself. Yeah, but then I maybe might not want to have a conversation with them like I do now, not to accuse them of anything, but just as yeah.
Speaker 2:But I mean like okay, so like for the person who they're, you know, the person who hurt them hasn't changed, Like it's is it still possible for them to find forgiveness If for no other reason but for themselves, right?
Speaker 2:Or if the person isn't even living like they're not, even they're not making themselves a better person. Now they're not even alive anymore. That person you know, the person who was hurt is not. Then just, you know you're going to be living with this for the rest of your life. I don't think it's just that the person changed.
Speaker 1:And now I just think it makes it. It just made it easier, like a like an affirmation kind of a thing, yeah, and I don't. But I don't think that's necessary because I haven't I haven't always had those affirmations for things that I've forgiven.
Speaker 2:Like it's more something internal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's unrealistic to think to expect that to be looking.
Speaker 2:I'm going to wait for the sign, like now, or waiting for this person to change, because, honestly, then you could be waiting forever.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, and you will not experience that shift of letting go of the weight of rage or anger or any of that which then just eats at yourself.
Speaker 1:I mean it doesn't allow for a deeper relationship and the possibility for that deeper relationship, Even if you didn't want it or want it, with the person that hurt you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't, like we were saying, you don't give forgiveness because they deserve it. You give forgiveness because you deserve it to not carry it anymore. And also, on some level, you know, I believe, all things happen for a reason, like there's, there's divine order in some way, and so you know, on some level, just trusting that your experience was the one that was going to shape you and to be the person that you are right now, or the person that you came here to become, and so in all things, it's neither good nor bad. It's, you know, I think. I think forgiveness is like untying knots. You know that exist within ourselves.
Speaker 2:So some tools for practicing radical forgiveness and one of the things is, you know, we always talk about is that somatic experience of really, I don't know, feeling into the body, where you feel resentment in your body, and in coming into contact with that and really asking what that's about and really starting to dig deeper at the root. Maybe the first time you felt that coming in contact with the actual experience that you're holding onto and maybe even, like we've talked about in the past, like journaling, right, and starting to kind of open this up with you hurt. What is the lesson that I can keep without keeping the wound open, like what did you learn from your abuse? What did you learn from the experience that you had that, on some level, was asking to be forgiven? And if you forgave them, what would you have to feel next?
Speaker 1:I like that, that you have to think about preparing yourself for what the next feeling is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because oftentimes anger is this thing that's protecting sadness, disappointment whatever it is and that's getting to, instead of just treating the sensor as getting to the root, right, and it doesn't require the other person, it requires you being able to go in. And another practice that I love and we've used this on I don't know, I think you can use it for many things, but is to write a no-send letter. Right, you just write the letter saying all the things that you feel like you needed to say or you need to say yeah.
Speaker 2:Without even the intention that you're going to send it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's just verbal diarrhea, it's just releasing, it's like bleeding it out bleeding out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whatever the anger is, that's there. It's a volcano of words just coming out releasing it like write it and then burn it and then breathe and it's not about grammar.
Speaker 1:You're not spell checking it, because if you're spell checking, you're not flowing yeah, and writing it.
Speaker 2:You know, like we've talked about in the past, it's moving the energy expressive writing yeah, it's moving, the energy that's sitting, literally, literally sitting in your body.
Speaker 2:So those would be, you know, like if you had to sit down one evening in a place you feel safe, is really just to tune into your body, to see where does this resentment actually live. Sometimes you'll feel it right in the heart, in the stomach. You know, and let that be the reason for that. Somatic queuing is just to become in contact with what, what, the what is the story that's there and the journaling can start to just open that up. Writing the letter without any intention of sending it, having a little burning ceremony, like whatever it is, to release that energy of rage, of anger, of sadness, so it doesn't have to live inside of your body anymore. I like that. What do you think about?
Speaker 1:doing a. Let's do some 10, 20, 30.
Speaker 2:Let's do a breathwork session to kind of clear out some stuff.
Speaker 1:Alrighty.
Speaker 2:So if you are driving, obviously you're not going to do this while you're driving, so you can save this podcast here and come back to it at a later time. Otherwise, if you can just find yourself in a comfortable seated or laying down position, you just close your eyes down, feel the seat beneath you or the bed beneath you seat beneath you or the bed beneath you and just start to become aware of your breath coming in and out, Just noticing what the breath feels like, what the temperature is, if it's jagged or smooth. Just see all of your attention right on your breath.
Speaker 1:And we're going to go for 10, 20, 30.
Speaker 5:Perfect.
Speaker 1:And we're going to go for 10, 20, 30. Perfect, we're going to take 10 deep breaths in and out of the mouth, really deep, all the way in belly chest head, and we're going to release through the mouth. We're going to do 10 of them at the bottom of 10. When we release all the way out, we're going to hold for 10 seconds and I'll coach you through the rest. Okay, so, closing down our eyes, getting ready, let's go for it. First, 10 breaths, let's get it Inhale the part of you ready to feel free. Keep going. 10 big, deep breaths, belly chest head, relaxing the jaw. All the effort is on the inhale, relaxing on the exhale. We're almost there and at the bottom here we're going to hold Holding Five more seconds. Two and now we're going to go for 20 breaths. Let's go for 20 big breaths In and out of the mouth, belly, chest Head. Now you're feeling a little tingly. Trust your body, trust your breath. You've got this. We're about halfway there, almost there. Five more breaths, going for 20 breaths, inhaling all that's ready to be free, and at the bottom, we're going to hold here for 20 seconds, noticing how you feel. We're almost there, holding, and now we're going to go for 30 big breaths In and out of the mouth. Let's go, breathing in deep, belly, chest, head. What if you can go 10% deeper? Relaxing the jaw, all the effort on the inhale. We're about halfway there. Keep going Big, deep breaths.
Speaker 1:You're so much stronger than you think. Pushing through discomfort. What you put in is what you get out. Breathe deep and full, never sacrificing the depth. We're almost there. Five more big breaths, let's go. What if you can just go a little bit deeper, getting close. And on this last one we're going to hold with our breath out for 30 seconds, excelling all that breath out, releasing the chains of resentment, holding here, straightening the spine, relaxing the shoulders. We're almost there. And when you're ready, take your breath in through the nose, keeping your eyes closed, breathing in another nose, finding your center.
Speaker 1:I release what no longer needs to be retold.
Speaker 5:I forgive to remember who I am without all the weight and, as you breathe in through your nose, feel your body relax Every exhale a layer deeper. And remember you don't have to do it all at once. Forgiveness can be a spiral. You'll revisit, but with more softness each time.
Speaker 1:All right, that's been another episode of Let that Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lena. Let us know what your questions are and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let that Shift Go, or visit our website, serenitycovetomeculacom.