Between Identities: The Sacred In‑Between

What if the most honest part of your growth feels like a free fall? We step into the sacred in‑between with our friend Sergio, who moved from flight nurse to breathwork practitioner and discovered that alignment is less about certainty and more about capacity. Together we unpack how the body flags misalignment as dread and irritability, why that first “click” of alignment lands like clean air, and how an identity death can trigger the ego’s demand for continuity. Instead of forcing answers, we practice the pause—letting hard words land, feeling before fixing, and choosing presence over performance.

Sergio takes us inside the seasons of his healing: year one’s excavation of old stories, year two’s rebuild through gratitude, acceptance, and somatic tools. He names the hero archetype that once defined him and how it muted other parts of self. When his wife says, “I don’t need you to protect me anymore,” the sting reveals a deeper need to be needed. Breathwork and nervous system literacy turn that trigger into a teacher. We also get practical. Sergio shares his daily foundation: no phone for the first hour, water, 100 push‑ups and squats, five minutes of silence, a 108‑bead gratitude round, journaling, a brief up‑ and down‑regulating breath sequence, and a cold plunge. It’s not flashy, it’s consistent—and that consistency ends imposter syndrome because you can’t argue with embodiment.

We challenge the pressure to fit a wellness mold and return to speaking directly to the people who need this work most: the vigilant, the caregivers, the first responders, the ones who forgot what regulation feels like. Authenticity attracts alignment. Perfectionism and control repel it. If you’re standing on that threshold—no longer who you were, not yet who you’re becoming—consider this your invitation. You don’t pivot because you’re lost; you pivot because you’re honest. Subscribe, share this with someone in transition, and leave a review with the one practice that keeps you steady in the in‑between. We’re reading them and cheering you on.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:07

Hello and welcome to the Let That Shift Go podcast. I'm Noel.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

And I'm Lena.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

And this is where we talk about the good, the bad, and all the shift in between.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

We'll just talk mad shift.

Naming The Initiation And Theme

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_04 0:20

And on this week's episode, we're going to talk about the sacred in between.

Reintroducing Sergio And His Background

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Yeah, because there's a moment on the healing journey that no one really prepares you for. It's the moment when what used to fit just doesn't anymore. And maybe you've done the work, you've healed, you've grown, and suddenly you look at your career, your identity, your life, and something feels misaligned. And it doesn't mean that you're wrong. It just means that it's outdated. And the uncomfortable part is you don't know fully what's next. You just know you can't keep pretending this version of you is the final version. And so today we're talking about that in-between space, the psychological and spiritual experience of emerging, the grief of letting go, the fear of pivoting. And what happens when healing becomes more than personal, it becomes a calling. So if you've ever felt that pull towards something more aligned, maybe even stepping into the healing space professionally, but you're terrified to let go of what's stable, this one's for you. Because the in-between isn't a mistake. It's actually an initiation. So pause and here we go. So today we have on Sergio. We have you back, like in a little update.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

He's back.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

And his previous um episode on Let That Shift Go was really kind of more at the beginning of your healing journey.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Or like the beginning middle. Um, and it was called the shift on deck.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yeah.

Misalignment, Restlessness, And Body Signals

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Right. And because uh Sergio is a he is a flight nurse, um, and we were flight nurses together, partners in uh Brawley and El Centro, and you know, doing all that, and that's how we first met. And then now we're here together with Noelle and myself, and really talking about this healing journey and something that I think all of us go through when you are realizing that maybe you are missing you have been living out of alignment. And when you're on the healing journey and discovering more things about yourself and what you actually want, you're not ticking off somebody else's to-do list. It calls you into it calls you forward.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

Yeah, it's kind of a a restlessness or a subtle, you know, dissatisfaction. And, you know, I find myself like doing I've done so much work, and you know, I feel like at this point I've done all the school and it's time to take the test. Does that make sense? Yeah. You know, I've done the work and I've studied and studied, and now the SATs are up.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:42

And I gotta go do them. And I'm afraid of them. And and and that's kind of that part for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

What does it feel like? What does it feel like in your body to be doing something that maybe I know for me it felt like dread, even though it was a I had a great job, it just felt like dread going to something that just I didn't want to be doing, and there was something else I wanted to be doing. For you, like for you, Sergio, what does that feel like physically?

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Well, it's like it manifests in like in a bunch of different like ways of resistance, right? So just a bad mood, right? Uh maybe you're like getting up in the morning, like, here we go again, right? 50 first dates, right? It's like, here we go again, same thing's gonna happen. I'm back to the coal mine, right? Yeah, doing the same thing, and then it doesn't really fulfill, right? Even though at some point it did fulfill, right? Because that's why you're there. Yeah. Right? You're you've been at this place or this career, and it's been fulfilling and it's been good to you in a way, right? You've been able to provide a f a life for your family and and pay your bills and feed your ego and wear the cape and do all these things, but then at some point you're like, What's next? Right? You feel empty in certain pockets of your spirit and your soul.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

You feel like more like you're playing a role? Because when you said 50 first dates, it makes me think of like a character in a movie, and it's like, does that feel like you're just playing a role? But it's it's not it's not coming from a place that you've actually discovered within yourself that feels more.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Yeah, so you know, like in contrast, right? Like when I first started um uh nursing, or I wanna I decided that I wanted to be a flight nurse. Everything in my body was like, let's go get this, right? My life was planned around this, my my relationship with my wife, with my kids, everything was revolved around this thing so dad could accomplish his dreams, right? And it was so the pursuit of that was so was so fulfilling and gratifying, right? I didn't know that then that the pursuit was what I wanted, but that's what it was, right? And so there comes a point where this shift is starting to happen, you start to uncover some pieces of yourself, and you're like, okay, cool. It's still paying the bills, it's still fulfilling in some areas of me, but there's these other areas that aren't fulfilled. Why? Why, right? And it's because the shift happens, right? You still you uncover things about yourself, right? And for me, going through these tough self-awareness, self-exploration pieces, self-discovery, it was I started to really understand why I chose a career, why why I chose what I did, why I behaved and acted and carried myself the way I did in my life, in my professional career, in my personal life with the relationship with my kids, my wife, why I did those things. I really started to understand that, and then I understood what alignment meant, right? Like I didn't know what that meant. Like I worked with you, and that's I think when you were getting into yoga and all this stuff, right? And you would say things like that, and then when I first came here, you were talking about alignment, you were talking about alignment as well, no, right? Like and leaning in, and I thought I knew what you guys meant, and it wasn't until like I felt what it meant, right? When I when I really truly um felt aligned for the first time, was like, oh, that's what it means. This is what they mean. Ooh, right? And it's like this moment of clarity that is like euphoric, right? It's it's very, very euphoric because you're like, life is great. Like in this moment when you feel that piece of alignment, when things just kind of the Legos just fall in the right place, right? It feels so freaking good, right? Like you're like the breath is fuller, the air is cleaner, like colors are brighter, yeah, right? And it's like, whoa. And once I felt that, I couldn't help but ask, Well, what is that?

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Right. How do I get more of that?

SPEAKER_00 7:03

And how do I live spend more time there?

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Right?

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Maybe not live my life there, but like, how do I spend more time there? And so that's what I've been doing, right?

Identity Death And The Neutral Zone

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Trying to figure out how do I spend more time there? Yeah. But when you're when you're moving into that space, you're having to let go of sort of the known and the stability, the safety. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:29

I've almost heard him say, like, it's almost like assimilating to a relationship with yourself because it was like you're you were excited about the career, and that's what got you going, and that and everything became and went around it. But then you hit the honeymoon phase of finding your passion. And then it's like, oh, this is where it's at. And then you have to figure then now you have to work that all that process out, is kind of what I was hearing you say. And it just it feels like you you're now you're at a different level.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, you know, you it's all great when you decide to make uh the the take a step towards self-discovery, right? Like it's it's something happened in your life and it could be maybe framed in a negative space or from a negative perspective.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Control was taken away from you. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Some you your identity fell apart, or whatever that may be for you, right? For me, it was that I lost who I was and I started to question everything in my life. But I had an option or two options succumb to those injuries, right? Or say, I'm gonna make this the best thing in my life. Ever happened to me, right? And I didn't believe it then, because I was in the tunnel. I call that the tunnel, right? And so when I decided to take a step forward, I truly, truly did the work. I was like, I'm facing myself in all these places, but then there comes a time where you're like, okay, I've I faced all of the dark places, if you will, all the pieces of me, right? And they weren't coming from a place of poor me or victim, you know, yeah, like, oh man, life is so hard because of this. No, it's just more like empowering. Yeah, just to to to to truly know who you are, right? That that's what it really became. And so when I when I did that, I felt like okay, cool, like I've untangled all these webs and I've I can make sense of my life and why I stand where I stand today. But what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Now what?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah, you know, like cool.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Now what do I do with this information?

SPEAKER_00 9:33

What do I do with this information? Right? And I felt like, ooh, okay, this so then once I really started to do the work in and saying, cool, I I've I've faced myself in these places. I've I've re I remember the pieces of me that got me here today. Am I proud of that? Or am I disappointed then in that? Or what was it, right? Well, no, I'm proud of that kid that came from wherever he came and did the things that he did and the mistakes that he made and the successes and everything. But now this alignment piece is also calling me, right? And so how do I go from accepting that I can close that door of my previous life and say, move into this new light?

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Right?

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Where you have to accept a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

It's it's like an identity death.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Yeah.

Year One And Two Of The Work

SPEAKER_01 10:22

So and an identity death triggers anxiety because the ego wants continuity. And suddenly it doesn't feel like continuity, doesn't feel like safety. So there's this neutral zone that just feels very like like floating, like I don't know, I should be doing more of this or less of this. And actually, it's it's just kind of like the stillness zone of being able to listen.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Yeah, you know, for for 40 years, I was who I was. Right? You don't just untangle that in two years and say, like, oh, I'm a new person. No. Like it just doesn't happen that way. Right. So there's a lot of uh patience, right, that I have to have with myself, and also a lot of acceptance to to let things be what they need to be. Like I I I know I don't control everything. And I know that now. I didn't know that three years ago. Three years ago, I thought I had all my shit together. You were under the illusion that you had full control over the environment. Yeah. Even when I'm drinking, I have control. No, you don't. Like you you don't have control over anything. Right.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

Well I felt like it like it like similar to the relationship analogy, now it's you realize where you're at, and the the reality is it's time to do a different kind of work into the relationship with your passion or with yourself. With yourself.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

With the truer version of yourself.

SPEAKER_04 11:43

That's what it really has meant for me, is it that's the next evolution.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Yeah, you you know, when my um when I when I say I did the work, or the work that I'm kind of more I've been more in like the last year, is more about me, right? In the beginning it was more of like discovering, like the like year one, right? Discovering, discovering, discovering, discovering, diving in, teasing out monsters and ghosts for yeah, yeah. Exactly, right? Just just shake the closet open, right? And then year two was like, cool, I believe in me. I finally believe in me again because I had lost that person, even even before I lost my job, right? Like I turned Sergio down to fit in, to to be accepted in the world that I was very respected in and all this stuff. I was safe. I was safe, but I still had to turn me down. Yeah, the real me.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yep, uh, I could see that.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Right? Yeah, and so now I know that I am the asset that I am worth investing in, that I am worth that I am enough, right? And all the broken pieces, if you want to call them that. But I'm not broken. They just are who I am, right? And so once I started to really believe that year two became about um just uh making myself better, building myself back up. How did I do that? Well, through the work, the real work, which is fight those things that I discovered, addressing them. Right? Maybe it's engaging in gratitude, maybe it's engaging in forgiveness, maybe it's engaging in acceptance.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Maybe it's less engaging in other things.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Yeah, maybe it's letting letting go of these stories, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Letting go of the tension that I carry, the fear, the anxiety, the the beliefs that you are this archetype that must be meant maintained.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Exactly, right? Like again, I wore the cape, right? I was I was the guy that was in the helicopter or landing on the highway, saving lives, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:59

The hero does this.

From Hero Archetype To Self‑Rescue

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Yeah, and I've freaking believed it. You know, like the little kid inside of me believed it, right? So it was hard to convince myself that I was something else too.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

And that was safe. It was safe to be something else.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Yeah, so I turned the other piece of me off, right? And the reality that I know now, right? The the the the the work has been in really nurturing that other side of me that can also be a hero in different ways.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Or hero to himself, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Not to everyone else. I can save myself. Yeah. Right. And that's where it started is when I when I can invest in really getting to establish a practice for me, right? You know, I I did the breath work and I did all that, but I wasn't going to classes, I wasn't going to community, I wasn't doing that. I was more alone because I wanted to really find myself. I didn't want to get influenced by the outside.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Like kind of embody in what you're learning and and and really live it.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah. But when I started to take the classes to become a practitioner, right, I did it not because that was the goal. I did it because that was the I wanted to do that to have a structure for myself. Right? So it wasn't it w it didn't really start off as an investment to the end goal being a business. Right. It started more for myself. Through those two uh classes, right? The 12 weeks online, I was like, oh and in person. Yeah, and then later I did the in-person. It was powerful, right? Because I realized that I did belong in the space and that I could see myself as a you had something really special to offer. Exactly. And my life story, my experiences in my own life are valuable, not just to me, but to the older versions of me that exist out there somewhere. Yeah. Right. And whether I had to accept that I could turn that piece of me back on. That I could be me loud and in your face, but also compassionate, empathetic, emotionally intelligent.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

This is who you're becoming now.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

As a result of having to. Exactly. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 16:16

You see, I have a different perspective because you know, like I don't have like the hero thing. I almost have uh I almost it's almost like um iced tea mix, right? Like an Arnold Palmer? Yeah, I guess like like I feel I want everything to be homogenous. I feel like I want everybody to be in and in on it together as a community. And I'm I think what I really, when I was listening to you, I really found, I heard myself thinking, I'm afraid to be by myself and not and not I'm afraid to not be a part of the mix and just be a singular molecule of the of the thing that adds flavor to what is the my life. I'm very comfortable being in with a bunch of everybody.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Why be I would kind of hide in there?

Attunement, Being Seen, And Nervous Systems

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Because I can hide in there and I blend in with whatever fits. And I like to make everybody kind of feel comfortable in that way. But if it's just you. But right now I'm learning through solidarity what it feels like to just have Noelle as the mix. What does Noelle want? What flavor does Noelle want? You know, I was I had a conversation with some people at work and I was like, what flavor would you what what spice would you be if you were a spice? You know? And then this one lady was like, I was like, um, you're gonna be tying because you make every I was thinking I'm tying. You can be talking to you make everything spicy, and just that when I see you, I get that little, you know, thing in my mouth where like when you see lemon, just like yeah, you know what I mean? And I would be MSG because it got a bad rap when it was a kid. But now we know it's magic. Yeah, but now we know it's magic. Just enhance the flavor of things. Yeah, see, so I don't know. Um I was always kind of afraid of being just Noelle. And now I'm learning what is it to just have Noel as the spice?

SPEAKER_01 18:02

What is he and what are you blink bringing to whatever it is that you're interacting with?

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

What spice would you be?

SPEAKER_00 18:10

I was thinking like I would be some sort of spicy pepper.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Yeah, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_04 18:15

No, you're chamoy, man, because you're you're spicy, but you're so sweet too, dude. And you stick to me. You stick to me. I'm gonna vote with Noel Yer Chamoy.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

If any of you um um who don't know what chamois out there what chamoy is when you're a kid. It's when you do credit card to other kids and you go chamoy. Oh no, kid. I will definitely be chamoy.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

Yeah. So I find myself being afraid. That's what I was when I was listening to you. I said, you know, I'm afraid to just be out of that whole mix, you know, and just be what that is for me. That's what's scariest.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, I found it uh I found that before I stepped into the self-discovery stuff, um, I would always isolate myself. Always, always. I I think I said that like when I was here, is like uh it's incredibly humbling to see how lonely you are in a room full of people.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Oh yeah, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:19

It's the worst kind of loneliness, and I did it all the time to myself, right? And it got so dark and so lonely and so I would get so angry, right? Um, and now like I stand alone, right, but not because I'm lonely. Right. You enjoy your own company, because I know I'm enough, right? And and I know that when I am me, the the the full version of me, if I know how good that feels, right? And I know that I trust that I'm not gonna be alone. Because people are gonna want to be around that guy, people are gonna wanna learn from that person, the right people, exactly, you know what I mean? Because there's a resonance it's there's no expectation there, right? Yeah, like I don't expect you know the my friends from 20, 30 or whatever years ago, right? Or my family to understand that all the time, right? They don't have to, right? But I'm me, and when they do maybe one day understand, they're welcome. Um there's no judgment either, right? Like I'm not saying, like, oh, you're not you're a bad friend because you don't understand. I'm not no, not at all. Right? It's I'm me. Like, guys, this is me. This is it. This is me, man. Like, there's nothing behind the curtain. I'm a used car, right? I'm a used car. Got some dance on it, you know, maybe got some new tires.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

You got some retread tires, right?

Fear, Anxiety, And Survival Mode Patterns

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Yeah. But but but I really um that's me. This is me. But like you can put a wrap on it, but I'm still me underneath that wrap. You know what I'm saying? So, like, why put the wrap on? Just be me, right? And I'm okay that with that.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

And what's been incredibly humbling throughout this journey, right, is that my kids and my wife always saw that. Always saw that, right? And I'm like, huh. I I asked her the other day, like, what's it like to love me like you love me? Right? And she's like, what? Like she's like, She's like, you know what? I don't know that I can put it into words. She couldn't explain it, right? And then she's she said something like, Um, I think we all wonder. I'm like, no. Because I've known you for a long time. What like what is it? She's like, if you could see yourself, you wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

That's all she said. That's so I'm gonna call my cry. I'm gonna cry. Yeah. Because it's true. And I remember, I know we've talked about before, when I met you, I felt like everybody else had this like explanation of you, oh, you don't want if you work with him, you know he's gonna be hard on you, or he's gonna be he's gonna be this or he's this. And I'm like, I mean. I see that, but I don't I see something else that's just really true and authentic, and also there's a safety in knowing somebody's honest with you but will support you. Like there's there's just so many layers. So you know, and I think it's true. If you could see your yourself through someone else's eyes, it would be completely different because we have a we have a lens and a frame that we look at everything through, including ourselves. And many times that that lens and that frame is so dirty and murky from our own life experience that we can't see clearly.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

But someone else who who is with you, loves you, sees you, um, sometimes they do see something different.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

So yeah, yeah. Yeah. And she didn't have to explain it.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

No.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Right. And that is the gift of attunement. Attunement. Right? Yeah. But for me, that was a huge learning in this process of uh through the breathwork practices and just emotional stuff, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Like Yeah, because would you even know the word you didn't use that word in a sentence?

SPEAKER_00 23:03

No. To attune a guitar. You get my cart, my alignment. Yeah, I've got a thicket assignment. Can I get my cart attuned? Right? Like, no. Like, but but what's funny loop? Yeah, like all all of these concepts in in like specifically the breathwork uh courses that it took, right? None of them. The dog's snoring.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

She's old.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

You know, so like oh, mover? No. Like uh I none of these concepts were new.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Yeah.

Daily Practices That Build Capacity

SPEAKER_00 23:38

You had heard them, but did you just didn't know what they meant? Like, none of this is like groundbreaking. No, right? A lot of it is just going back to the basics of humanity and understanding and observing, right? No judgment, no like this is good, this is bad. This is just hey, hey, look, it's blue. Or hey, it's black. Oh. Cool. Yeah. Does it good or bad? It's not, it's nothing, it is. Right? And and when I really like took that in, I was like, oh, yeah, this is what she's doing, right? So this is what she just did. And because I can attune to her, she doesn't have to say a word to me. I can feel what she means. My nervous system is talking to her.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

And it's less verbal, it's not really verbal.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

No. I think you know, our nervous systems are talking, right? By just being energetically there present with each other honestly and all this stuff. And I got my first taste of that, you know, like a year prior, right, with a complete stranger. I I met some guy at we're at uh this like little rinky dink bar in Bombay Beach, and this guy's talking about some stuff at the pool table, right? And everyone's kind of laughing, but and I see him from across the the table, right? Like on the other end, and I'm like, hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Attuned.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

And I was like, asked him like a compassionate question, right? And he opened up and more and more, and I didn't push it away, and I come around the table, and the guy starts crying, and you know, it's like two grown men, strangers.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

And my wife's watching me do this, right? And she's like, I can see her, she's like all proud, right? Like, my baby. Yeah. And and uh, and I tell the guy, like, hey, like, can I give you a hug, man? And I gave him a hug, I was like, dude, it's okay. And just by not saying so much and just being there with him, he was like, ooh, this feels good. Right? And then we walked away. And that was it. I love that. And everybody around us was like, what just happened? Yeah. Don't worry. You don't need to know.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

It's not for you.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:57

And so so I think that's what I think what your wife did, and and if I could sum it up, is she said in no uncertain terms, I see you. Yeah. That's why I love you. Yeah. She sees you fully. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

And that's a it's a gift to be seen and to be heard. So yeah. To have that support through this process is big.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

Because somebody could say, he's a good provider, um, he works really hard.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

He knows how to change a tire.

SPEAKER_04 26:26

He knows how to change a tire. He's tough. Like if somebody passes with a you know. But she didn't say any of that.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

What she did say later was, I don't need you to protect me.

SPEAKER_04 26:36

Oh, well, we know that.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Because I, you know, as as a these identities that we put on ourselves, right? Like, I'm a provider, I'm a protector, I'm the head of the household, blah, blah, blah. Right. And she's like, I don't need you to protect me anymore. I'm not a little, I'm not the little girl, scared girl that you met.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

So now you had to let go of the that like archetypal um identity. It's an identity shift, which the ego is very tied to.

SPEAKER_04 27:02

What did that feel like? Did was that was that when she said that to you, did it did it release anything to you? Oh, it was sad. Oh, okay. So tell me why. I want to know about that.

Consistency As The Bridge To Becoming

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Because I felt like that was my job to protect her and my kids. And when you're how dare you take that away from me. Yeah, and when I met her, right, maybe she did need protection from certain things. But she grew up and she healed throughout the years. She uh went through her own struggles and and and really had closure. And that's an acceptance. But the thing is that I didn't, I wasn't a part of that closure. Because there was things that she had to deal with on her own, right? And she did, right? And even though I'm really proud of her for doing that, I a little piece of me was like, mm-hmm, I wasn't there. I wasn't there to protect her. She needed me there to hold on to or to just witness or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

And the reality is that that's just my ego telling me. You're not you're not good enough because you weren't her hero. Right. And like, she didn't need you to be. She needed you to listen.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Cause who are you if you're not the hero.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Exactly. Right. I and and that back then I didn't know that, right? And and so now when she said this just recently, um I had to like sit with it. I didn't even respond. I was just okay. What does that feel like? And that's a different version of me now, right? Like it's it's instead of reacting and responding, pre-forming these sentences or whatever. No, it's okay. You you said something, let me let it land. What's that doing to me?

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Now that is a whole different human being. Right? Because how many of us before we did any work, any looking at ourselves, looking at why we are the way we are, ever stopped and somebody um triggered us or said something and we went, hmm, let me stop and see how that lands for me and see what's coming up. Nobody. Like, until that's not even a question that is seems like a possible question.

SPEAKER_04 29:08

Well, I've had that said to me, and what it what landed for me is that I've it was a core wound of not feeling needed anymore. I need to feel needed. That's that's what it was for me.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

And that's about you. That's not about the person who's sick.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

Exactly, exactly. And that's all my work.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

It's it's self-reflection. Like they're holding up a mirror to you, you need to look at why that bothered you. That's not their responsibility, actually. So, but that is that's them offering you growth with whether they know it or not.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, right? Like, I don't I don't react like that 100% of the time because I'm human, right? Like, and and I also understand when don't you?

SPEAKER_01 29:48

When have you noticed? What's the difference? Um are you less capable of when I'm operating out of fear, right?

Imposter Syndrome And Embodiment

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Because the for me, fear triggers anxiety, right? And before all of this work, I never knew I was anxious. That's what the crazy because I was always in survival, right? I was always surviving fight or flight. Even when I was sleeping, I was surviving. Like I used to be the guy at the fire department. Okay, you know, picture me being 19, married, you know, we have our first kid, and I'm sleeping with the phone next to the bed, and I'm asleep, half asleep all the time, right? And the phone wouldn't even finish ringing, and I was up putting my clothes on, answering the phone. Nylon Fire, what's up?

unknown 30:42

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Respond here, do this. Awesome. Haul us to the station, get in the get in the truck and be the first one on. All the time for 10 years, right? And then you fast forward, you know, I'm already flying, sometimes doing both, and I'm always in survival. Yep at the Christmas or at the There's always a party. At the birthday party, looking for threats, right? At the intersection, looking for threats. At Walmart, looking for threats, you know, in my own home, looking for threats, right? You don't realize that until you are light for the first time. You're looking for blessing.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

I feel the contrast.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yeah, dude, you know, when you when you the very first time when I felt like this amount of relaxation, like I was just like, ugh, right? I was like, now what? What is this? Where's the other shoe? Because right now it's cool. It's like like like when you're at the beach and there's a lull in the waves, and then tsunami's coming. The the water's receding. You know, that inhale, and it's like, oh, whoa, whoa. And then nothing happens. When nothing happens, that's the scary part for me. Or has been known. Because something's supposed to happen, because every something always happens.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

But that's your that's just your nervous system being used to being in like fifth gear or and I never really saw that right until I had to do the work.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

And once I did the work, I was like, it's okay to be safe and relaxed, and you know, and I still possible. But I still struggle with that, right? So yeah, so when I am in the pocket, right? When I'm good, when I am being the pocket being I'm good. Yeah, I'm regulated. I'm regulated. I'm regulated, I'm calm, I'm capacity for singing gratitude, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm like um satisfied. I you know, those those kind of things.

unknown 32:42

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

Dogs, that's right. Um I can really um just pause.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

No, go ahead.

Authentic Audience Versus Fitting A Box

SPEAKER_00 32:52

No, okay. Uh yeah, so when I uh operate out of those places, I can really be like me. But the times when I get away from that fear, right, when I'm afraid of something, um, that's when I get the anxious part, and that's when I can't listen. Yeah, I can't let it land. I can't I can't put my ego away because I'm afraid. Yeah, right. And it's like this panicky fear, right? But I didn't know that would existed before. And that's something that even today I'm still currently working through because I don't have to be afraid all the time. Yeah. And I'm not, I knew it's a lot, it happens a lot less. But it still happens, right? It could be because I'm human. Like I can't, I can't never be afraid.

SPEAKER_04 33:36

Well, I find like it's it's um for me not having a full cup, you know, like that i if I if if I've always walking around with a coffee fill to the brim that's just piping hot, anybody bumps me, I'm gonna spill it onto myself and I'm gonna be super pissed at everybody. You know what I mean? Because I'm already brimming at the top and I have to make room for that. And that's what breath work and self-regulation and kind of doing the work really comes in. And yeah, that's what's helped the most for me is is kind of doing the daily things that leave room for me to have grace for other people's, you know what I mean, mess.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Yeah, and that and that's what I that's what I found has the biggest impact, the consistent practice, right? So, like, you know, uh this last year, or I guess 2025, right? Was I think I talked to Lena and Mondo and I was like, this is the year of me, like I'm gonna learn all these things.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

It's the year of the fire horse.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Right. Last year, right?

SPEAKER_01 34:31

When I was year, okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

And and then so I was like, I'm gonna do me and I'm gonna figure all these things out. So I was doing my breath work and I was doing my journaling, and then it dwindled. I was doing it sometimes. And I was journaling once a week, and sometimes no times a week, and then maybe three times a week. It's like slipping back into Yeah, and I was going like back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, right? And so this year, uh I really, you know, I've got I I got a coach and you know, and going through some things, and I was like, you know what? Let's establish a routine. Like he he is like, just you're doing all the things. How much do you need? Right? And I'm like, I don't know. He's like, well, just do it every day. Like you don't have to do these big things and then not do it for a week. Do little things every single day. Right? So, okay, let's try that. So what I've done is every single day, right? Like I get up uh off the phone for the first hour, two hours of the morning. I get up 30 minutes to 45 minutes earlier, right, than I usually get up, or that I have to get up. Um, I go downstairs, drink you know, half a bottle of water or whatever it is, go outside, do a hundred push-ups, a hundred squats. Cold. I don't warm up, I don't just go outside, do it.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

You just get up earlier just so you're not rushed and all that. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

So I can so I can so I can have time for me, the things that make me better, right? Before the before the world gets a chance at me.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

Right?

The Journey Over The Finish Line

SPEAKER_00 36:01

So then I started to do that. So 100 push-ups, 100 squats, um, sit in silence for five minutes. Uh gratitude, my gratitude practice. So I have my necklace and I each bead. Oh, yeah. I say something that I'm grateful for. Like a rosary kind of thing. Yeah. Every single day. I like that practice. And instill that. Yeah. Right. So it's 108 things. That's a lot of things to be grateful for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Write this down, people. Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

So I do.

SPEAKER_04 36:27

And you're looking fit, too. So I've got to say, these 100 push-ups are looking well. Your wife is happy. I know she said, look at your really, just tell everybody that's what my middle name's Adonis.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

No either. Sergio Adonis Cardenas. It's Spanish. No. Um, but you know, um, it's that. And then so the gratitude practice, the journaling, right? And either, you know, find some prompts or whatever, and I'll kind of get into that here in a bit. But um, or just free flow, right? Free flow writing, right? Uh, and then do something difficult, which is the cold plunge. Yeah. Right. So I get in the cold plunge every single morning. So now consistently I've been doing that for going on 40 days, right? Consistent. I was getting the cold plunge almost every day, right? But the other stuff, uh sitting in silence, the gratitude practice, my um daily practice for breath work, so the three minutes upregulation, three minutes down regulation, like that I wasn't doing all the time. Making room in the cup. Yeah. And so then now I do that every day. Got it. Every single day.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Do you feel like this has sort of built the help you build the bridge between the like you know, letting go of the past you, the the past version of you, and bridging into the next version of you. Like you're not quite, you're no longer what you were, but you're not quite what you're becoming fully yet.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

Yes. I'm still the but the you know caterpillar in the in between the mullet. You're molting. You're a mullet. Yeah. You're molting is mullet mulleting. It's starting to break loose.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

So this like just having a like a practice of not not slipping back into our your old ways, which then kind of leads to even just, I don't know, like a lack of motivation to continue the work and all of that, is to you now having this bridge that kind of brings you in between to help you push forward into the newer version of you. Do you feel like that's what's making the difference of being able to stay in practice?

SPEAKER_00 38:32

And well, I think what it what it's done, it's it's helped me truly embody what I'm preaching.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Yeah.

Guidance For Listeners In Transition

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Right? Because I've been talking about this for a while now, right? And I've everyone that I run into that breath work, breath work, breath work, breath work. Right. And when I started putting these videos up on online after last August, you know, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna get into breath work and I'm gonna share it with people, I started putting it online. But then I was inconsistent, like, uh, maybe once or twice a week and all this stuff, right? So what I really noticed was when I was doing some of these videos, I was like preaching to people in a sense, right? Hey, do like this is what I do, but I wasn't fully living it. But when I was living it, I was fully there, but it just wasn't all the time because my life gets in the way, and and I have to let go of this identity that I had to fully step into if you if you were to ask me today when you asked me two years ago, who are you? Hey Sergio, introduce yourself. Hi guys, my name's Sergio, I'm a flight nurse, and blah blah blah blah blah blah. If you were to ask me today, hey my name's Sergio, I'm a birth work practitioner. You know what I'm saying? So I now that's who I am, right? And it's not just who I am, it's what I do, right? And so I had to believe that. So once the switch clicked, and earlier this year, like in January, I was like just thinking about stuff, and I was like, Yeah, this is who I am.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

Still a lifesaver.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

Yeah, well, but but but but now the world gets to know that too, right? So when I put it out, because this is a context.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

But you were kind of maybe even confused about who not confused, but in that sort of transitional state of becoming one to the other, and now you're more embodied in that.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

I didn't truly believe that I could do this. You wouldn't have been imposter.

SPEAKER_04 40:32

You wouldn't have been in in that space with that man and and been able to talk him down or or you know to hold space for him in that way.

unknown 40:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

Unless you're this person.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Right. And so when I really kind of like started to make the shift, right? I was like, I have to, I this consistent practice that I've that I've engaged in is now that's why I can show up like this in the world. Right. Yeah, it's a part of it, but it just yeah, it helps me get regulated and grounded and and back to normal, right? Like Rev in the green. But what it really does, it it gives me permission to believe that I can do this.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

So it's like it it disqualifies the doubt. Yeah. Because you're like, I'm actually I'm living this.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Yeah, like I could be now, I could be in a room full of people telling me that doesn't work. That's stupid, that's this, that's whatever, right? Yeah cool. I'm glad you believe that. Yeah. You should try it. I'm gonna change your world, buddy. Right?

Sergio’s Links And Closing Affirmation

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Like And I think that that whole piece of um imposter syndrome and really moving from one, especially when you are an expert in your field and you have to move into being a novice, it's it's scary. It's like it's wobbly. And so you have to get your feet under you and you need to believe it yourself. And and there I think that that's a natural transition. You're not just gonna go from expert of one thing and then immediately be the expert of the if you are, then there's probably ego involved and it's going, it's shaky. So being able to embody the practice and live it and believe it yourself and disqualify your own doubt really is what can, you know, transition you into that space of being able to actually help.

SPEAKER_04 42:18

And that's what the this is that's that's exactly what this whole podcast is about. Yeah, evolution coming to that point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

You're not quite what you're becoming, but you are also not what you were.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

And it's that doesn't, and it doesn't mean that you that the old version of you doesn't play a part in the new version of you, right? It does. So like I'm you know, I'm I'm getting trying to get this business off the ground. I'm like trying to market and trying to figure out where I fit in, what the niche is or whatever. And I've I found myself trying to mold myself into the local community and and be like them, what I saw online, right? Like go to the Pilates studio, yeah. Like, hey man, uh if we're if you're gonna come to this event, you gotta wear matching uh sets for the gym. You know what I mean? Like leggings and bras and all that stuff, right? And I was like, yeah, I guess that's what I have to do to to so I started to tailor my content to that a little bit in the sense of like You're losing your own authenticity, using words that tailor to that community, right? Maybe not changing who I am, but like tailoring my content to reach that that uh audience, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:28

And then I sat with it for pushing yourself into a box again, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

And so I so I was like, that's not who I am. That is not who I am, right? It's old. Yeah, that's old. The people that I'm going to help are the prior versions of me. Exactly. Right? So I need to talk to that kid. That kid's not that kid didn't care about that.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

He cared about they won't be able to find you unless you are being you, because otherwise you're hidden behind something that isn't.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

That kid cared about raw, authentic content. Like punching in your face, you like the real you. You didn't care that you were like have this front because you had you were selling t-shirts. No. What he cares about is oh shit, that told me something about myself that I didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Right? And so now that I've done that, right? Because I let also let go of this trying to fit into a box, but also let go a little bit of control of like things have to be perfect. Things have to be like this. Things have to be like that.

SPEAKER_01 44:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

I've let go of that.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

That will put you into paralysis.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

And and because of this practice, right? This morning stuff, I've let go of a lot of that. Because the consistency is the chase, is is the reward. So when you are trying to lose weight, but you get to your certain goal weight, that doesn't make you happy. No. The chase did. The journey there is what made you happy. Who you became on the journey. You learned so many things on that journey, right?

SPEAKER_01 44:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Well, that's the same thing with this. Right. Like, hey, I've arrived. I'm healed. No, you're not. Like you there's the next iteration of you.

SPEAKER_04 45:06

It makes me makes me think of like, remember, I talked about like how growing up it it was modeled in our in our lives as if taking care of ourselves or self-love was like um a chore. Like brush your teeth, take a shower.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:19

You know, do do these things that actually are self-love, they became chores for us. And I see in a way that your battle is to make those things not be a chore, but to be self-love. You know, to be things daily practice that builds, you know, space in you with capacity to handle your daily emotions and move forward through your day.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

Yeah, like not every not everything has to be a sacrifice.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

No, or a struggle, or it has to be hard. I have to be like completely burnt out in order for me to feel like I'm doing enough.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

And once I once you step into your own shoes, the world sees you.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

It starts to align. Correct. Also, when you're in a gratitude practice, your brain is focusing on what's going right. So when you're done with that practice and you're going about your life and you started it with that, your brain is still practicing on what's going right.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

So it recognizes it recognizes it much more quickly.

SPEAKER_00 46:13

Yeah, you feel like the the Lego movie, everything is awesome. Like literally everything is great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Yeah. It's all working out in my favor instead of, you know.

SPEAKER_00 46:23

Like the reality is like, no, not everything is great, but everything is great.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

It is, because even when it's not great, it's for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

But there's something. Right. There's like a nuggets. And and that's what I mean, right? Like there's there's there's no um like the struggles are a part of life. Yeah. They're a part of life. And they're but they're there for a reason. They're not there to to part of the script. Yeah. You you know, it's the spice. Yeah. Yeah. The chamois.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

The tahine.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

The MSG mod of sodium glutamite. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

So I would say the point of this episode, and you guys can chime in, is for the person who is kind of, you know, walking into that space of healing. And maybe they're at that place where it's like, all right, I've done a lot of self-discovery. I've discovered a lot of things about whose to-do list I was checking off and what actually works for me. And and looking back at the life that I may have built based on truths, right? Um, and so now I'm trying to build something that is more based uh in alignment with who I am authentically. But it's kind of scary because my safety has been tied to the ladder or the the previous version. So being able to one, just know it's completely normal. Yeah. Like it's not, you know, you're gonna burn it all down and then the next day it's all gonna be fine. It is definitely a process. And I think that's also part of the journey and a necessary part of the journey. Um, but to know you're not alone.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Right. And that you can use tools like Surju, you're saying about just being a disciple of yourself.

SPEAKER_02 47:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

And being able to have a practice that gets you up every day, that keeps you accountable to yourself, keeps your brain trained in a way to look for what's going right, starts to have all of these synchronicities start to show up. I know a lot of things that you've shared with me that will be coming soon that we'll talk about more. Um, when you're showing up for it, it shows up for you.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Yeah, absolutely. Right. And and it's funny because you don't have to be like a wellness expert to know this stuff, right? No. Like if you've ever at least when when I got in touch with this coach and we started this morning routine deal, right? None of it, again, none of it was groundbreaking. No, these are all pieces of things that I used to do before. Like when I when we ran the gym, right? We we got up early, we ate right, we had time for ourselves, we went to the gym, we didn't reminder. The gym was the big accountability. Yeah, you know, it was like everything revolved around being that, right? And so there was a lot of lessons there. Like if you want to get strong, there's only one way to do it. You can't like cheat your way to it, right? Even if you use the steroids, you still gotta do the work, you still gotta squat, you still gotta bench, you still gotta do whatever, right? And so when we were in it, like we got strong, right? Like, I I got strong. How did I do that? Consistent practice, right? I forgot that piece because I was so involved, and oh, life sucks, and blah, blah, blah, blah, and I left the gym, and I, you know, COVID happened, and death happened, and all these things happened, and then I lose my job, and blah, you know. So next thing you know, is like, oh, it's been five years. What the hell happened? And so now getting to this practice, it's like, oh, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Same principles apply. Now he's just a different focus.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Yeah, now the strength is somewhere else, right? Don't get me wrong, I still want to get strong. I still want to maintain that, I still want to be functional and all these things, which are a piece of the entire piece, uh, the entire picture, right? But the the self, the the learning, the journey, the wellness, the mindset, the perspective, the joy, the sadness, the challenges, how you show up for all of that starts from the morning, starts from the routine, starts from the practice that involves you.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

How you show up for yourself in small ways is how you show up for yourself in the big ways.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

Yeah. Cause the challenge isn't isn't when things are going great. The challenge is when things are challenging.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:40

Right? And they don't have to be horrible, but they're just questions. Are you ready to show up and do the things that you said you were gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 50:47

I love that. Yeah. I love that. All right. Well, in closing, also tell us where they can find you.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

Oh, yeah. So uh Miktalan Journey Somatics. Um, or that's uh my website, you can uh get me there. You can get me on Instagram uh at mictalan.journey. Yeah, and uh I'm everywhere with TikTok, same thing. Yeah. Check them out.

SPEAKER_01 51:14

We'll have some links at the bottom of the show. But in closing, I just want to say this to the people who are listening. If you are in the in-between right now, you're questioning everything, doubting yourself, wondering if this crazy wanting for something more aligned, hear this. Growth rarely feels stable, it feels uncertain. And the version of you that built your current life did its job, it kept you safe. But you are allowed to evolve beyond the identity that once protected you. You don't pivot because you're lost, you pivot because you become more honest. The in-between isn't a breakdown, it's a threshold. And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just let that shift go.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

All right, that's been another episode of Let That Ship Go podcast. I'm Noelle.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

And I'm Lena. Let us know what your questions are, and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let That Shift Go, or visit our website, SerenityCove Temecula.com.