When Personal Pain Transforms into Public Purpose

A powerful journey comes full circle in this deeply moving conversation with Folusho Oginni Liasu, founder of Super Parents Foundation. 

What began as a chance encounter with a mother's anonymous post about struggling to afford a hearing aid for her child transformed into a mission that has touched countless lives across Nigeria.

Folusho takes us behind the curtain of special needs parenting in Africa, where cultural misconceptions and spiritual superstitions often compound the challenges families already face. 

With remarkable candour, she shares how Super Parents Foundation emerged in 2018 as a safe space where parents could share their experiences without judgment – a community where denial could transform into acceptance, and guilt could give way to empowerment.

"Accept your new normal," Folusho advises parents with quiet conviction. 

This simple yet profound counsel acknowledges the reality that while this journey wasn't chosen, embracing it fully opens doors to healing. Throughout our conversation, she emphasised that effective support isn't always about extraordinary resources, but rather remarkable love. 

"The first therapy is love," she reminds us, a truth that resonates whether parenting typical children or those with special needs.

The foundation's work stretches beyond emotional support to challenge harmful narratives about disability. By providing factual information about various conditions while respecting cultural contexts, Super Parents helps shift conversations from blame to understanding, from shame to action. Folusho's approach combines her legal background with profound empathy, creating advocacy that addresses both practical needs and emotional well-being.

Listen as we explore the delicate balance between passionate advocacy and personal wellness, and discover how mindfulness plays a crucial role in sustainable impact work. 

Whether you're parenting a child with special needs or simply seeking to understand how personal pain can transform into purpose, this conversation offers wisdom, warmth, and a powerful reminder that sometimes our greatest challenges reveal our deepest calling.

You can find Super Parent here, Barr Mofoluwasho Liasu's Social Media Profile;

Facebook Name: Folusho Oginni Liasu
Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/folusho.liasu

Instagram Name: Mofoluwasho Liasu 
Instagram Link: instagram.com/mofoluwasholiasu/


LinkedIn Name: Mofoluwasho Liasu 
LinkedIn link: https://linkedin.com/in/mofoluwasho-liasu-b5a43b116

You can also find Super Parents Foundation on other s

Transcript

Introduction to a Full Circle Moment

Speaker 1 1:01

Hey, mindful Partners. Every now and then, life brings us to a full circle, not for nostalgia's sake sometimes it is but to remind us of who we've always been or who we are becoming. So today's guest is someone I grew up with. We shared the same streets. We shared some laughter, some teenage drama, teenage dreams. And now, years later, we share something even deeper a passion for healing, for advocacy and mindful impact. Today's conversation is one of great, of grace and purpose. We're peeling back the layers behind a woman who wears many hats, and I'm going to try very hard not to do this interview with a friend, but with the barrister, with the advocate, with the nurturer and the founder of super parent. If you don't know, thank you, you're right, okay, oh, no, no, you know, like, okay, you guys could say that this was my teenage bestie, that's, that's as far as I can go for the essence of it. But you see, like I said, it's a full circle moment because, even as we transverse the length and breadth of our culture, we didn't know that we're going to be advocates, we didn't know that we were going to be doing these things. Well, you knew what we were going to do, I didn't know. No, I knew if you didn't know. No, I knew if you didn't know for you, are you serious? You're natural. You've always been fighting those battles for us. I knew I've always been fighting, but a good fighter don't mind that I know I miss fighting people's battles. So I knew, well, yeah, and that is refined now, and I think that's also refined now. So leave your mind please. What is refined now? So advocacy and all that. So, like I said, I'm going to, I want to stay away from that.

Origins and Personal Motivations

Speaker 1 3:41

So, who? I know, for the show again, at least, but this photo shot that has methamorphosed into foolish or guinea lias. Who are you when no one is watching? I'm just me, yeah, very simple, fully sure, the deep thinker, the passionate person. I'm just I can't give a definition of myself, but just me. What is the me there? Okay, the emotional, yeah, so emotional. The passionate one, the selfless one, and also, um, the ones that fight a lot of battle within, yeah, okay, I don't know whether we want to go there, but what was growing up like for you and I'm not asking you to go into details Okay, okay, but because you know we won't finish that, okay, I'm not asking you, but you know, but did anything from that time.

Speaker 1 4:53

When I'm asking you this now, did anything from that time prepare you for the path that you are on now? I think a lot. I think my old story, childhood story, prepared me. I saw plenty, I saw luck, I witnessed wickedness, I witnessed kindness. So I felt my old story had prepared me.

Speaker 1 5:26

I never knew I would go specifically towards it, but I knew I was going to do something. I knew I was going to make impact. I needed to change narrative, I needed to do a whole lot, but I couldn't define it. So somehow I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised, but at the same time I'm still like how did I get here? Yeah, because you know I'm looking from okay.

Speaker 1 5:55

So yeah, like you said, you wanted to change your narrative. I would have thought that that would be the narrative. You're changing a better family for people and children going up and better relationships with their parents and all that. I would have thought that that would be the narrative you wanted to change. You know giving what I know. So I think my question then is why it is not that narrative, why it is it about you know super parents. Actually, it's not the narrative why it is. Is it about. You know, super parents. It's actually, it's still the narrative. You know, it's just that super parents are just, you know.

Speaker 1 6:34

But you know, even before I started super parents, I was advocating for children, and I still do. You know, um, child abuse, women-based gender, you know all that. I still do it, even from my post on facebook. You know, I'm firm about it. I'm firm about equality. I'm firm about treating people right. You know I'm firm about value, family values. You know parents. You know caring for their children, not expecting the children to just understand and carry those bodies they are not supposed to carry. So I'm still vocal on that. Yes, and, being a lawyer, I've had a lot of cases. You know, when it comes to child abuse, when it comes to I take it up. But right now, because I'm so involved in super parents, I do more referral. But my post reflects that. When it comes to family, it reflects.

Speaker 1 7:34

So I was going to, but, thank god, you went to law. Um, um, was that your first desire? That what you wanted to study? And is that what influenced what you want to study? What? I think? Medicine, something like that. I thought, okay, with medicine, I'll be able to help people. Yeah, that's it. Okay, you know, even you know that was Charlie's thoughts. I wouldn't even collect money. You know, I just do it for your thoughts. You know I've seen my mom, you know, go through some medical challenges and then she was a nurse. Yes, and she was a nurse. You know, I've seen, even you know I've seen even you know I visit the hospital regularly and you know you see people outside seeking help, funds for their. You know, that's that's a part of me, that's no further pain. So it's fair to say that, you know.

Birth of Super Parents Foundation

Speaker 1 8:45

Uh, going back to the question, I asked that everything that you saw shaped you being an advocate, but you just didn't know what you were going to be advocating. So what inspired the start of super parents? Okay, so, like I said, um, um, I'm generally, I'm passionate about many things and changing narratives. You know, every time when there's a child abuse case, people would tag me this one, they would tag me Anything that has to do with saving lives, you know.

Speaker 1 9:19

So, one day, as I was scrolling down the Facebook Facebook street I mean, what do they call it? Sugarberg Street so I saw a post and you know the woman was just writing, you know it was anonymous, she was not writing her pain, what she's she's a mother of a child with special needs, what she's facing with this, what she feels, and that she needed to get. Uh, what's this called the air hearing aid. And I was like one million naira. I said, hey, this is something that should be accessible to everyone. You know, I saw that pain deep. I said, you know, people were just saying it is well, go to this church, go to that. I was like, is that the solution, you know? So I just wrote it that please, wherever you are, please, um, contact me. And so she contacted me. I know she's. You know we just, you know we had a relationship till midnight she was just be talking to.

Speaker 1 10:20

So I I knew she was going through a lot. You know, I just thought this space needs to be filled. You know she was. This space needs to be filled. You know she was suffering. You know, stigma, discrimination from those that are supposed to support and love her. You know, family members, in-laws even the system wasn't favorable and I didn't know all these things were happening. I thought that they were supposed to receive, um, what would I call it? You know, favors from the government, from this. You know, in that, you know. You know special needs people are supposed to be taking care of, taking care of. You know, and when I dealt into our world, I was like wow, so I just posted it in facebook.

Speaker 1 11:06

Please, if you're a parent of a child with special needs, can you come out? I, I need you to share your story, and they were a lot and lots. So, super parent just started. Okay, there is a safe place, you know, for parents to talk. You know, chat, you know, just safe space. You know you're um, they're not shutting you up, you know.

Speaker 1 11:29

The thing is that, you know. The thing is that you are not allowed yes, you know, no judgment. You are not allowed to speak about it. It's a shame, you know. It's not a place of shame. Just share the experience once. Share your experience so that others can learn from it.

Speaker 1 11:43

You know, but unfortunately, unfortunately, sorry. You know was it is it? Unfortunately You're not that old. Sorry, no, was it? Is it? Unfortunately You're not that old, though I told you it blew beyond my imagination. I think I can understand where the unfortunately is coming from. Like, okay, this blew beyond my imagination. Do I have the capacity to do this? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's just it. Do I have the capacity and this? Yeah, you're right, yeah, that's just it. Do I have the copy?

Speaker 1 12:12

And then people were seeking for funds. This is not what I imagined. I just want you to talk so that you feel light, you understand you're not alone, you understand you're not alone in this and then get knowledge just to go to. You know stuff like that. But ha, you know they've seen that you are saying visiting the families, seeing all sorts of cases. I was like, okay, so I know you for it. I know you're a bit. Uh, you know we'll get to that in a moment.

Speaker 1 12:43

Okay, okay, but because I would have thought, or somebody's asking, um, okay, is super parents a safe place for parents to just come and be parents with children with special needs? What is the right term? Is it children with special needs or children living with disability? I think it's both. There are children living with disability that do not actually have special needs. They can navigate themselves, they're independent. You know there's no special. It's like they don't need any special accommodation or special whatever to be there. You know, for example, like physical, some physical disabilities. You know they can. Some of them, not all, all. You understand they can navigate. They can do a lot of things themselves without any help or special requirements or assistance, you understand. So those are, you know.

Speaker 1 13:43

But when it comes to, would I say, when it comes to cases like autism and all that, those are special cerebral products, you know. You know they have some needs that they, you know they need to be supported. You know those are special needs, but somehow we just okay. So how do you balance? You know, because for me maybe that's why that's what you're saying that I've always been like this and um, and I know, sometimes, when people are listening to my information, where I'm talking or I'm talking something like why do you have a story for everything? But you know, I don't know what I was telling.

Speaker 1 14:21

I had a cousin um, I don't know whether she's still alive like cousin, cousin the same great grandfather, not the same grandmother, but we had the same grandfather, um and um. I was. I was never afraid to be around her, never afraid to be, and she she had. Of course, now I know it's cerebral palsy, but you know, we didn't know what it was. The end even in, they treated her funny, they treated her, but she was in my head, she was my cousin and she just, she, just was, because I could see her emotions, I could relate to it. Funny enough, I think she's about two years older than I am.

Speaker 1 15:02

Okay, yeah, I don't know whether she's still there, because I laugh. I heard of her. She just had a baby. Wow, oh, yeah, that this was way before I got pregnant and got married, right. So, um, she, she, like we, I could come, she, and she was nonverbal. Okay, she was a nonverbal CP person, but I could hear, I could hear. I remember my mum. She was like she won't go to the hospital. Yeah, I could hear her. We could walk together. We could walk, and she was so badly bent, she was half bent. Yeah, she was half bent, but the light in her eyes was, ah, like I never have been able to be afraid of people who live with some sort of disability, and I've never been.

Speaker 1 15:55

I don't know what that is, because they're natural hemp, but it doesn't, you know. Here's where the question is what then? How then are you marrying the societal construct, because I think people are just afraid that you know this will pass on to my child or whatever. So how do you manage that cultural narrative with the obvious medical narrative that comes with children with. Okay, just like you said, you never saw any big deal. It's just this is my cousin. That is how I felt that just maybe difference in a way, maybe fiscally or something. I've never saw the difference until I got involved.

Misconceptions and Cultural Barriers

Speaker 1 16:48

And you know, my best friend, second in school, okay, my, my best friend in secondary school, okay, my other best friend. You see the tea, the tea is for you. She, she, she. She's a polo survivor, you know, and somehow I just relate with her and I allow her to do things Whenever she's trying to restrict herself. I said I don't see the difference in you. We will fetch water together. We'll do a lot of things together, do you understand? Okay, when I need to help you, I help you.

Speaker 1 17:24

But when I started this, I saw the way people react to you know persons or children living with disabilities, and it's because of is this? I saw the way people react to you know persons or children living with disabilities, and it's because of is this, would I say, the African superstition, and also you know so many things. You know and has been passed down from generation to generation. You know a lot of myth. There's a lot of myth attached to every disability. You know it's due to this, it's due to that, maybe a particular God, maybe a particular, even to the educated, they still hold on to their beliefs. They still hold on to their beliefs, you understand. So you know there's just and of course, you see, I'm being very careful because there's some supernatural. So you were saying there's some supernatural. Yeah, even as a Christian, you ought to know that we believe in that.

Speaker 1 18:25

But sometimes, when we dwell on that, you know, it kills the creativity to find solution. Thank you for giving me the right one. Yeah, do you understand? I don't like dwelling on that. We know that. It exists everywhere with us, do you understand? But we would not dwell on that so that we find solutions. Yeah, that's what solutions are just physical, just a little bit of support. That's what they need to try to try. Yeah, you understand. So I, I don't like dwelling on that. It's fine, I just, I needed to just play. Yeah, I know, I know I, I don't like dwelling.

Speaker 1 19:08

Okay, how can I help you? How can I help you to navigate? You know this terrain that you find yourself. You know, without needing my further support, it may just be a wheelchair, it may just be okay. I need someone to have a communication, to converse with. You know, someone to um to make me understand that I'm a being, too, just like every other person. You know it may just be the tiniest thing you get, and thank God for advocacy. Thank God there's so much enlightenment and so much so people are not really seeing the difference. Okay, they're not really-.

Speaker 1 19:44

Before we move to whether the narrative has changed, I'm wondering about the parents that you work with at the early days of Super Parents. How many years now? I know you have a sixth inclusive party. I'm not good with math, that's why I'm helping you. No, the eighth inclusive party. So, eighth inclusive party. We started 2018. Yes, and that was when Super Parents Foundation was founded. Okay, you and I do no maths 2018. Let's do the maths. Okay, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025. Okay, so, 8 years. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 20:25

At the beginning and this is me speaking as my infirmary when you started relating with these parents, what was the first questions that came up when you started talking to them? You know because let me give you the background to what the question I'm asking we grew up when we're given birth. We saw them. And then you have, you see people give birth and they give it normal. Normal, please, that is in huge parentheses for the sake of this conversation. It is not in any way a discriminating statement. Yeah, all right, you see that. And then you give birth to a child and that child isn't the definition of the world's normal.

Speaker 1 21:10

So I I'm wondering what was the first hurdle that you had to cross with these parents? Most of them were living in denial and it wasn't easy for them to accept that they have children, a child, sorry, that was not in the normal, yes, not in the normal, in the world's definition of normal, neurotypical. You understand. It wasn't easy for them to accept. So a lot of parents lived in denial. Was it more denial or guilt? And some guilt? Yeah, denial is even different then give to the whole lot and some is a combo. It's a combo.

Speaker 1 22:01

And then when you're asking them okay, what have you done? Have you helped this child or speech on it? You understand? Um, turn it because in Kato show mom, you, you understand, you know nothing's wrong with my child. Oh, it's just a little bit of delay. I don't need to do that.

Speaker 1 22:20

When I start doing that, it means that I believe there's something wrong with my child, where I said, taking my child for therapy and I started, it means that I, I, I don't believe you know admitted. And then some goes there, it's a spiritual thing, they're praying about it, they are. I say, hey, how do I help these people? You know, I needed to break that, especially you saying that they're coming to a place where there's no, no, no judgment. Do you understand? And they're like, well, you know a lot of them, even without saying you know you can't understand, you don't have a child with disability, so how would you know? How do you know how you're feeling? You understand? So for me to be able to, um, convince them that I'm part of you, I'm just seeking a solution. It was hard, you know. Even some advocates that had children with disability like, what are you doing here? You cannot, you know, you cannot understand. Until they saw, you know how I was. It's not about me, it's about you, you finding a solution for yourself and me helping you with it.

Emotional Toll and Self-Care

Speaker 1 23:27

So denial, then guilt. Oh, if I had known I would have taken her to this particular hospital. If I had known, I would not have worked under this. If I had known, I would have done this, I would have put a pin on my knee. If I had known I would have done this. If I had enough money, I would have done several CS and a whole lot of guilt, especially with cerebral palsy. With cerebral palsy, yes, a lot of negligence. It's just a second or two of just not oxygen and everything goes down. So the cerebral palsy, a lot of it, is due to negligence, ignorance and all that you know. So the guilt is always so much so for them to help their child. There's always a lot of restrictions so you need to break that is always so much so for them to help their child. There's always a lot of um restrictions showing. You need to break that mentality for that, for it has happened, it's not your.

Speaker 1 25:51

Now let's move on. Yes, let's move on. How do we so? How has in the last eight years? How is the advocacy that super parents is um championing? How has that shifted the narrative in the society, at least from the metrics that he has and with special needs? Parenting is it. Is it more on the parents or more on the children? On both, yeah, I can't really give a start. But are the parents better? Now? Parents are better.

Speaker 1 26:25

You know they seek knowledge. One thing I always tell them knowledge is key to healing. You know, say that again knowledge is. You know, sometimes, when you get to know, you know that, oh, this is just what I need to do. You know it does not. It does not negate your faith yes, it doesn't. You know, you pray, you're believing in god. Even you can't do this without faith. You can never, ever do it without faith. I don't know. I used to tell them that it's not about money, but it's the value you place on this child, that, no matter what you know, I'm going to help this child. This child is my child. You know, for example, I've seen, even I've watched film, true life stories and even I've gotten testimonies from parents.

Speaker 1 27:20

You know, they can't afford this, they can't afford therapies, they can't afford medical, they can't afford that. But the children are doing well, afford this. They can't afford therapies, they can't afford medical. They can't afford that. But their children are doing well. How? Because they believe in their child. They are positive. So somehow, unconsciously, they are helping their children. They are in the kitchen, maybe they are teaching their child.

Speaker 1 27:42

Oh, this is how to do this. This is how to do this, involving their child. This is how to do this. This is how to do this. This is involving their child. This is how to do this. This is how to do this involving their child, treating the child like a child should be treated and the child not knowing the difference, like, okay, maybe I can't just walk, maybe I can't, just, you know everything, but I'm still a child, I'm still loved by this woman. And then they're achieving milestones and then they are wondering but I'm not going for this, I'm not going for that. So it's the first therapy. I don't know, sometimes I get to, it's okay, it's okay, like first therapy. I don't know, sometimes I get to, it's okay, it's okay.

Speaker 1 28:30

Like I tell the parents the first therapy, the first medication, is love, is love, just love that child. I'm listening. No, no, seriously, just just love that child. The first therapy is to love that child. The first therapy Is to love that child. Once you love that child, I want to go somewhere, but I'm not going there anymore, because I want to say Do we see fathers more than mothers and super parents? But I don't even want to, I don't want to go there. It's essential. It's essential. Okay, go ahead, because he could say so, so he could minister to someone. Okay, so do. Okay, fair, fair. So how do? Who manages it better? Maybe that would make it much more. Who manages it better? The fathers or the mothers?

Speaker 1 29:16

Because I know a couple of I've seen on social, like on um, I think, people under your um, your posts, listen. I don't want to say his name now because, um, you know, just to give him private privacy. I see the way he's passionate. I'm sure you know the person I'm talking about. Uh, this starts with an A, okay, okay, I see how he's passionate about his son who is a CP, who's living with CP, and I'm wondering are all fathers like this? No, no, you push your own statement. No, he is.

Speaker 1 29:58

We like to call it special. It's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be normal for every father to be involved, but we know it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be normal for every father to be involved, but we know it's not that way. He has a heart of a woman. I don't know if I can use that phrase. That particular, it's okay, you can use it.

Speaker 1 30:13

That particular person you're talking about and many of them like that, or few of them, you know that are involved in the lives of their children, especially, they have this motherly, this motherly um, instinct, instincts, and, like I said, he loves his children. This man would do anything, just anything, for his children, special needs or not. That is who he is. I hope I'll be able to get him here because I need to. No, no, I can't drag him. No, because I need to hear from him.

Speaker 1 30:51

I've been wanting to, you know, get into his head and like wow, what is happening, what is it? Because I know he bends back over, no, no, backwards, no, and then comes, no, no, that that is, uh, what would I call it? No, no, no, no, that's, you know, when it goes on and on and on, and it's like I'll just say, man, relax, everything. You know you hardly see men, no, forget about special needs or something. You hardly see men die so emotional, you know, about the children. They just want success, they just want the best for their children. You hardly see, no, I'm not saying they are getting involved, as in, you know, passionately involved in the lives of their children. They just want the best, you know.

Speaker 1 31:45

So now him having a son, and that is his only son. That's the first born. You know most fathers that I know, the african, like my first son, is like this no, no, no, no, no, no, no, remember no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Personal person your heart is always on your sleeves and all of that.

Acceptance and Finding Hope

Speaker 1 32:24

So let's talk about you for a moment, as we're on this stuff here. So how do you balance the emotional weight of advocacy with your personal wellness? Let me be realistic, it's the balance is not really balancing, but I try my best. You know, being an emotional being, you know it takes a lot from you. You know it takes about um, but over the years I've tried, I'm learning and I'm still in the process of learning that I can't take it all.

Speaker 1 33:06

Just do what you can do. You know, compartmentalize, compartmentalize, compartmentalize that word is English, you know. And everything. You can't do it all, even if you want to. There are other aspects of your life that needs you. You know the family and all that.

Speaker 1 33:25

At one point I was just mixing everything together and you know there was a lot of issues and you know I wasn't myself. But now like, okay, this is family time, my business, my career, you know, and when it's time for SuperPay, it's time, and then I'm able to delegate. I have very good people that you know. I can say okay and do this for me, but of course my eyes, my heart, is still be there, but it's way better. It's way better.

Speaker 1 34:01

What role and this is not because you're my friend or because you know me so what role do you think mindfulness and emotional intelligence can play in your life? And then in caregiving? Mindfulness and intelligence, emotional intelligence in my life, it will play a lot, though you know it will for an emotional being like me, for an empath, for an empath okay, that's the word. Ah, emotional intelligence is key mindfulness, mindfulness, being intentional with you, with your life, with so many things. If not, your life would just be a whole bunch of chaos and all that. You know you'd be wondering. You'd just be living life.

Speaker 1 34:54

Were you at this point at the beginning, of Super Parent, who you grew into understanding that? No, I grew into it. You know, I was just doing everything. When I say something, let me upload, I was just doing everything. At a point I just everything going out, I just went out. You know I'll just start crying, unnecessarily, transferring aggression. You know it even affected my marriage, you know, and then I'll stop him. He's because he don't understand me. Do I even understand myself? Do you understand? I wasn't on this, I wasn't understanding myself, the level I was, until I said I was like no, be intentional, be mindful, you know, engage emotional intelligence. Thank God for you. I can always cry to you and all that and you're helping me out and you know I don't want for therapy. Therapy is key. Don't think because you know it or you are strong. You know it plays a whole major role in my life for me to be able, for my kind of being an empath, emotional and all that, for me to be able to sustain the foundation up till now and still my business and career and family. No, it's all up. Yes, hallelujah glory.

Speaker 1 36:14

So before we go to the phone part, what is the number one misconception about special needs parenting? You wish people understood Number one. I know there are plenty, but pick one, okay, you know. Are you talking about the society, or the parenting, parenting society, of the parenting? Because, whether so, like I said earlier, our mind is I'm going to get my, I'm going to have children, mm-hmm, you know that is going to be within the confines of the world's normal.

Speaker 1 36:55

And then there comes this twist, twist okay, that I probably not equipped to handle. So is it my faith? Is it the idea I've hidden? Is the idea easy? So what are the misconceptions of being a parent with a special needs child? Okay, that in Africa. Okay, that in Africa.

Speaker 1 37:25

In Africa, sorry, I have to do because I know it's not universal that, okay, maybe there's something spiritually wrong with me. That is why I have a child with special, and you know, they keep hearing that thing. You know the family, everything, it's not in my lineage. So that means there's something imperfect about me for me to be able to, you know, give birth to a child with special needs or with disability, you know, and that's a whole lot of misconceptions. I always tell them that even the westerners, even in india, even they have children with disabilities. It's not that they don't believe in spirituality and all that, but that is not the call. What the the? You know, they, they, they would investigate, they would do a whole lot of things. You know all like this, but in Africa, the first thing, I did not pray enough. I did not pray for the spiritual. There's something spiritually wrong with me.

Speaker 1 39:31

No, there are a whole lot of reasons why you have a child with special needs, some we don't know. It could be genetics, yeah, it could be genetics. It could be genetics, yeah, it could be genetics. It could be genetics, yeah. So I think let me help people with this. Your child, even you, you are an upgrade of thousands and thousands of your generation, oh, yes. So some things are latent, some things are dominant.

Speaker 1 40:04

We don't know why it keeps some people in some generations. Yeah, one generation. But if we and this is why I always advocate that we understand our stories of origin we search our stories of origin because, trust me, someone in the family had had it, yes, yes, and he was either. Uh, well, it's our stories of origin because, trust me, someone in the family had had it before and it was either well, it's Africa, even all over it was either, for example let me use mental health questions, like ill health, like bipolar, like schizophrenia and all of that it's actually very genetic. So that a generation or two did not not have it, did not have it, does not mean that it is not still in the gene.

Final Thoughts and Reflections

Speaker 1 40:50

Yes, and of course, uh, you are a new generation and all of that, and we're not. We're not saying that, uh, because you're under the on that grace and all that. But then again there will have a Paul who we don't know his generation or genetic. We know that he died from a family or something, but he still had something that made what that God said to him. My grace is sufficient for you. I'm not going to take it away. I'm not going to take it away. The reason this is there is for you to always come back to me, so I hope that helps someone out there. There is nothing that you have done. There is there's nothing you could have done to make it better. There's nothing that you could have. There are people who took all they had, the best of medical um help, and they had the best of it. And the children still. You know, the best of the best. Uh, there are people with you know. There's just just a lot um on this side of eternity.

Speaker 1 42:01

There are some things we won't understand, yes, so when they have happened, the best thing for us is to stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond and then resolve. That way it's easier for us to navigate. I've always said it on the show that we are trained to know. Trained to know how to be happy. We don't know how to be sad. We don't know how to navigate when things you know, even motivations and all that we, everybody motivates you to get up at the side quickly. But sometimes it's in that darkness that is healing. It's not darkness as a space, and if you're about to say to be that darkness that is healing, it's in that darkness that is peace, and if you're a practical say, that's what it means. So if we can enjoy Iri, why can't we learn to enjoy Ibi? In this case, I'm not saying that special needs is Ibi, but contextualizing it. Thank you so much Now that we are off with the serious one.

Speaker 1 43:00

So what's one lesson your work has taught you about humanity? One lesson yeah, that you always find the help you always find. Don't close your heart or your mind to help. You will always find that someone that is willing to help you. Just open your heart. I know that the world is dark, but there's always light, there's always help. It's a preacher in the house. If you could whisper one truth to every special needs parent today, what would that truth be? Accept your new normal. Yes, barrister is preaching. Accept, once there's acceptance, I'm telling you you'll be, you'll even become the preacher. Accept your new normal. Don't believe that the normal you see is the normal that should be Own your new normal. You have a child with disability. That is my new normal. Be comfortable with it, be confident in it. Accept it and I tell you, everything will just fall in place. Everything will fall in place to your coffee. Coffee.

Speaker 1 44:31

The book that changed your life, a book. Why do I always forget her name? I don't know. God, help me. She's a christian. She's um, this low cost, you should know. Choice maya, which is the title of the book. Hey, god, oh, battlefield of the mind. No, to say the truth, I've not finished the book till today. I've not finished mine too, you well, I bought two that time. Yes, yes, just two pages was all. Yeah, just two pages, yeah, okay, are you ready? Yeah, describe yourself in one Yoruba proverb.

Speaker 1 45:47

So your final thoughts as we run off, my final thoughts, yes, on this conversation as we run on, okay, okay, just find you. Find you, and even with this conversation I'm finding me again. Find who you are wrong with it, passionately wrong with it, and guilt. Get help when you need it. You can't do it alone to fulfill your destiny. You can't do it. Just find you. Thank you so much, barista folio show or guinea leo, I still wanted to find that, before you describe me that you're mad, you can still be thinking. When I round off, you can think of maybe to come to you, to come, or the ceo and founder of Super Parents. Super Parents is a community for parents with children yeah, parents with children with special needs, and, like you heard I say, it's a place where you are allowed to be a parent, a person in the midst of people, where there's no judgment, where you're allowed to be.

Speaker 1 47:04

Pollution reminds us that true strength isn't always loud, it is consistent, it is resilient and, like you heard us say earlier, it is rooted in love. The first therapy and drug is love. So, as we often, as we navigate the often complex rules of parenting, we learn from her journey. Um, even as, even in the face of adversity, the community and compassion that can like likes the path forward. And as I say I used to think about you, forward. And as I say I used to think about you.

Speaker 1 47:47

As we're close to this episode, I'm inviting you, in the fashion of mindful utimishi, to pause and reflect. Whom from your past reminds you of who you are becoming? Can you trace any full circle moment in your life, those quiet nudges that connect your childhood dreams with your present purpose? What have those moments taught you about growth, grace and timing? So take a few minutes today as you're listening to this. After you've listened to this, pick out a journal Voice note, if you want, you know, just write these reflections. Who are you becoming? What are you becoming? How are you chosen to become? You might be surprised by what you uncover. You might be surprised by what you uncover. Sometimes the seeds of who you are were planted long before you knew what they would grow into. So if this episode reminded you of someone special from your past, reach out, reconnect. It could be the beginning of another full circle moment.

Speaker 1 49:09

My name is Oluwadze Mishi Oladakwakuku. Love yourself, love your neighbor, love your country. Above all of this, love God. He is the essence of your being. Follow me on socials and if this episode is touching in any way, leave us a note. Um dm. Share, follow would appreciate it. Like it helps the algorithm appreciate you. May you be well. May you be safe and free from harm. May you have peace all around. Until next time, stay mindful, thank you.